1
00:00:01,190 --> 00:00:03,790
Great. So,um,I'll give you a call.
2
00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:06,060
- I hope you do.
- All right.
3
00:00:08,230 --> 00:00:09,380
Look at this.
4
00:00:09,390 --> 00:00:12,070
I just got that girl's
number. Check it out.
5
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,530
Holly. Nice.
6
00:00:14,540 --> 00:00:18,310
Girls whose names end
in L-Y are always dirty.
7
00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:21,820
Holly,Kelly,Carly,Lily.
8
00:00:23,650 --> 00:00:25,970
Oh,yeah,I know it's true.
9
00:00:25,980 --> 00:00:30,340
And don't even get me started on
girlshose names should end in Y,
10
00:00:30,350 --> 00:00:32,200
but instead end in I.
11
00:00:32,220 --> 00:00:34,640
Those girls are like roller coasters.
12
00:00:34,670 --> 00:00:36,900
You got to wait in a long
line,but once you get up there,
13
00:00:36,940 --> 00:00:39,820
you just hold on for dear life
and hope you don't drop your keys.
14
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:41,600
Hey,you know what I'm gonna do?
15
00:00:41,630 --> 00:00:43,460
I'm gonna call her right now.
16
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:46,920
I'm gonna do that whole,"Hey,remember
me? It's been so long."
17
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,080
See,it's funny because I just saw her.
18
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,420
Dude,you can't call her.
19
00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:54,140
You have to wait three days to
call a woman. That's the rule.
20
00:00:54,150 --> 00:00:56,090
Barney,that rule is
completely played out.
21
00:00:56,110 --> 00:00:57,510
Girls know exactly what you're doing.
22
00:00:57,530 --> 00:00:59,720
Hey,I got a new rule.
23
00:00:59,750 --> 00:01:04,340
It's kind of crazy,but I call
it,You like her,you call her.
24
00:01:04,350 --> 00:01:07,930
I'm sorry. Can you repeat that?
I don't speak I Never Get Laid.
25
00:01:08,780 --> 00:01:11,350
Barney,the Three Days Rule is insane.
26
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:14,050
I mean,who even came up with that?
27
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,120
Jesus.
28
00:01:16,130 --> 00:01:18,920
Barney,don't do this. Not with Jesus.
29
00:01:18,930 --> 00:01:22,970
Seriously. Jesus started the
whole wait-three-days thing.
30
00:01:22,980 --> 00:01:25,260
He waited three days
to come back to life.
31
00:01:25,290 --> 00:01:26,290
It was perfect.
32
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,860
If he have only waited one day,a lot of
people wouldn't have even heard that he died.
33
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,360
They'd be all,"Hey,Jesus,what up?"
34
00:01:32,380 --> 00:01:36,650
And Jesus would probably
be,like,"What up? I died yesterday."
35
00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:40,260
And then they'd be all,Uh,you
look pretty alive to me,dude.
36
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:44,020
And then Jesus would have to explain how
he was resurrected and how it was a miracle.
37
00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:48,550
And then,the dude would
be,like,Uh,okay,whatever you say,bro.
38
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,620
Wow,ancient dialogue
sounds so stilted now.
39
00:01:51,650 --> 00:01:53,630
And he's not going to
come back on a Saturday.
40
00:01:53,650 --> 00:01:56,120
Everybody's busy doing chores.
41
00:01:56,140 --> 00:01:58,970
Working the loom,trimming
their beards. No.
42
00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:03,620
He waits the exact right
number of days... Three.
43
00:02:03,630 --> 00:02:07,040
Okay,I promise-- I'll wait three
days. Just please stop talking.
44
00:02:07,870 --> 00:02:10,960
Plus,it's Sunday,so
everyone's in church already.
45
00:02:10,980 --> 00:02:14,430
They're all in
there,Oh,no,Jesus is dead.
46
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:18,420
Then,bam! He bursts through
the back door,runs up the aisle.
47
00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:19,710
Everyone's totally psyched.
48
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:22,750
And,FYI,that's when he
invented the high-five.
49
00:02:23,070 --> 00:02:24,500
Three days,Ted.
50
00:02:24,530 --> 00:02:30,310
We wait three days to call a woman because
that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.
51
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,430
True story.
52
00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:39,640
-=http://sfile.ydy.com=-
proudly presents
53
00:02:39,650 --> 00:02:45,640
-=http://sfile.ydy.com=-
sync:ßÇÈâÈâ
54
00:02:45,650 --> 00:02:47,640
How I Met Your
Mother Season04 Episode21
55
00:02:47,650 --> 00:02:52,030
Okay,fine. I promise,I won't
call Holly for three days.
56
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,760
But I never said anything about texting.
57
00:02:54,770 --> 00:02:57,660
I started things off with
something cute and charming.
58
00:02:57,700 --> 00:03:01,630
"I was thinking about you,so I thought
I'd send you a little texty text."
59
00:03:01,990 --> 00:03:06,750
And the moment I hit "Send," I
realized it wasn't cute at all.
60
00:03:06,550 --> 00:03:10,000
{\a6}texty text
61
00:03:06,550 --> 00:03:10,000
It was the lamest thing
anyone has ever said to anyone.
62
00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:13,210
And the worst thing about texting
is that once you send it...
63
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:19,200
Oh,no! No!
64
00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:21,760
you can never get it back.
65
00:03:21,780 --> 00:03:24,350
And then... you wait.
66
00:03:22,590 --> 00:03:26,450
{\a6}******
67
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:28,590
And just when you've decided
never to text anyone again...
68
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:31,780
"I've been thinking about you,too,
69
00:03:31,790 --> 00:03:35,220
"and how weird is it that you
texted me while I was in the bath?"
70
00:03:42,330 --> 00:03:43,800
- What was that?
- What?
71
00:03:43,810 --> 00:03:46,860
- You made a noise.
- That was my phone. I got a text.
72
00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:49,970
- Not that. You made your naked lady noise.
- What?
73
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:54,340
Whenever you see a naked
lady,you make the noise.
74
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:57,420
I don't do that.
75
00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:58,840
Really?
76
00:04:00,910 --> 00:04:02,700
Oh,God,sorry,Lily.
77
00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:11,500
While the men are out hunting,the women
of New Guinea's indigenous Korowai tribe
78
00:04:11,510 --> 00:04:13,810
wash their clothes in the river.
79
00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:23,420
That's totally a boob.
80
00:04:24,940 --> 00:04:26,850
Is that Holly who keeps texting you?
81
00:04:26,870 --> 00:04:28,570
Didn't you promise to wait three days?
82
00:04:28,590 --> 00:04:31,520
To call,yes. Texting
is totally different.
83
00:04:31,530 --> 00:04:34,770
Okay,well,just try to keep the
naked lady noises to a minimum.
84
00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:37,430
I don't make a naked lady noise.
85
00:04:38,670 --> 00:04:40,820
Really?
86
00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:49,490
Holly and I stayed up texting
until 2:00 in the morning.
87
00:04:50,460 --> 00:04:53,370
And we spent the whole next
day texting each other,too.
88
00:04:54,070 --> 00:04:56,310
She seemed perfect.
89
00:04:57,030 --> 00:05:00,050
Holly just told me what
she's wearing right now.
90
00:05:00,070 --> 00:05:01,600
It is pretty hot.
91
00:05:01,630 --> 00:05:04,660
Yeah,whatever it is,I can
guarantee you she's not wearing it.
92
00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:06,240
She's lying to you to make you like her.
93
00:05:06,260 --> 00:05:08,410
- How do you know that?
- Here. Come here.
94
00:05:09,030 --> 00:05:11,590
Because no woman in the
history of the world is ever
95
00:05:11,630 --> 00:05:17,180
"just sitting around reading architecture
magazines in my old cheerleader uniform."
96
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:21,490
Okay,maybe she's lying about
the architecture magazines.
97
00:05:25,830 --> 00:05:27,370
Oh,no.
98
00:05:27,380 --> 00:05:29,660
- Oh,no. This is bad.
- What?
99
00:05:29,670 --> 00:05:33,580
She just sent me a text that was
clearly meant for someone else.
100
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:38,450
"Hey,baby,I picked up some take-out
from Generro's. Be home soon."
101
00:05:39,170 --> 00:05:42,530
Okay,yes,this sounds bad,but
let's think about this,okay?
102
00:05:42,570 --> 00:05:46,420
It could be for a brother
or maybe her sick dad.
103
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,450
Scroll down.
104
00:05:49,230 --> 00:05:53,470
"And then I want you
to do me on the couch."
105
00:05:53,790 --> 00:05:56,380
Okay,maybe not a sick dad.
106
00:05:56,390 --> 00:06:00,210
Or a very sick dad. Am I right?
107
00:06:01,740 --> 00:06:03,770
Sorry.
108
00:06:04,340 --> 00:06:06,880
Hey,guys.
109
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:09,310
God. What is this?
110
00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:12,630
It's just some take-out from Generro's.
I'm bringing it home for Lily.
111
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,060
Oh,that's weird.
112
00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:17,660
Holly just texted Ted something
about take-out from Generro's.
113
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:21,780
Wait a second.
114
00:06:21,790 --> 00:06:24,910
- You sons of bitches.
- What?
115
00:06:25,350 --> 00:06:27,690
You're Holly.
116
00:06:30,780 --> 00:06:33,780
So Ted hasn't been texting Holly at all?
117
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,400
He's been texting you two?
118
00:06:35,430 --> 00:06:39,720
Look,we knew he'd try to call her before
the three days,so I swiped his phone,
119
00:06:39,750 --> 00:06:41,930
and I changed her
number to my work cell.
120
00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:48,170
We were just gonna bust on him for calling
her too soon,but then he started texting her.
121
00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:51,410
Texty text?
122
00:06:51,430 --> 00:06:52,730
Oh,Ted.
123
00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:57,030
Oh,poor,sweet Ted. We should...
we should tell him it's us.
124
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,420
Yeah. Or...
125
00:06:59,430 --> 00:07:03,070
we pretend we're Holly,and
we're in the bath.
126
00:07:03,770 --> 00:07:05,980
Yeah,that's better.
127
00:07:11,210 --> 00:07:12,810
Well,that was fun.
128
00:07:12,830 --> 00:07:14,100
We should tell him that it's us.
129
00:07:14,130 --> 00:07:17,040
Yeah,we should. Or...
130
00:07:17,050 --> 00:07:22,010
we tell him our favorite color is red,and
we think the cowboy look is very sexy.
131
00:07:22,890 --> 00:07:24,790
Yeah,that's better.
132
00:07:25,630 --> 00:07:30,240
I'm wearing them right
now,and they do look sexy.
133
00:07:31,110 --> 00:07:34,710
- He put on the boots!
- He totally put on the boots!
134
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:36,970
- That was awesome!
- Yeah.
135
00:07:36,980 --> 00:07:40,700
But it's time to tell him who
he really put those boots on for.
136
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:43,070
Yeah. Or...
137
00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,710
we just took off our shirt.
138
00:07:46,010 --> 00:07:48,320
Yeah,that's better.
139
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:53,180
You think maybe we're wearing
a black lace bra underneath?
140
00:07:54,030 --> 00:07:56,310
I don't think we're
wearing anything underneath.
141
00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,740
God,we're hot.
142
00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:04,000
Now he's only wearing the
cowboy boots! It is on!
143
00:08:04,010 --> 00:08:06,090
It is so on! Okay,okay,tell
him that we're...
144
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:09,640
we're slowing slipping out of our...
145
00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:13,410
What are we doing?
146
00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:18,740
I think that we're about
to have sex with Ted.
147
00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:26,440
So,you did this to him
all day? That's just mean.
148
00:08:26,450 --> 00:08:30,060
No,no. No,it was... It was
actually for his own good.
149
00:08:30,070 --> 00:08:31,600
We're protecting him from himself.
150
00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:33,270
He... No. He really likes this girl.
151
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,950
He had that-that look in his eye.
152
00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:38,750
Yeah,that crazy "I'm about to move
too fast and screw this up" look.
153
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,680
It was actually the same look he
had on his first date with you.
154
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:44,030
- And we all remember how that went.
- Yeah.
155
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,960
- I think I'm in love with you.
- What?
156
00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:50,350
Yeah,well,I-I think
I was a special case.
157
00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:53,630
This Holly is no Robin Scherbatsky.
158
00:08:53,980 --> 00:08:55,340
Hey,what is the deal with her hair?
159
00:08:55,370 --> 00:09:00,210
I mean,news flash: they make
conditioners that don't leave a buildup.
160
00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:01,850
I'm so b.
161
00:09:01,860 --> 00:09:04,640
Look,it's been a while since
Ted really liked someone.
162
00:09:04,690 --> 00:09:07,220
He's clearly got a lot of
crazy stored up. We just...
163
00:09:07,230 --> 00:09:11,080
we thought we'd get him to say "I love you"
before he even makes contact with this girl.
164
00:09:11,110 --> 00:09:14,280
And you can tell it's on the way.
He's exhibiting all the telltale signs.
165
00:09:14,290 --> 00:09:17,320
Yeah. One: He joked
about getting married.
166
00:09:17,330 --> 00:09:22,190
"You like architecture? We
should get married." "Ha-ha.LOL."
167
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:25,030
"Just kidding. Question mark?"
168
00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:29,030
Two: He made a crazy
way-too-soon trip suggestion.
169
00:09:29,050 --> 00:09:32,630
"I like beer,too. We should
totally go to Germany together."
170
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:36,510
"LOL.JK.LOL."
171
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:40,870
And three: He got way
too personal way too soon.
172
00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:44,010
"Yeah,my parents got
divorced a couple years back.
173
00:09:44,020 --> 00:09:47,780
It was really tough." LOL."
174
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,570
And he clearly doesn't
know what LOL means.
175
00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:51,900
Yeah,but here's the real problem.
176
00:09:51,930 --> 00:09:55,650
Ted wasn't saying "I love you"
as easily as we thought he would.
177
00:09:55,670 --> 00:09:58,100
Then we met... Stan.
178
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,150
Why are you making so much noise,man?
179
00:10:08,290 --> 00:10:13,620
So we explained everything to him,and when
we were done,something amazing happened.
180
00:10:14,010 --> 00:10:17,560
Why don't you tell Ted that just knowing
he's out there,thinking about you,
181
00:10:17,580 --> 00:10:20,680
caring about you,makes you feel safe?
182
00:10:20,740 --> 00:10:23,890
So,all your fears,all
your yesterdays wash away,
183
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:28,090
and only hope remains in
the promise of his embrace.
184
00:10:30,470 --> 00:10:32,920
Go,Stan. Who is this guy?
185
00:10:32,930 --> 00:10:34,320
He's a security guard who works nights.
186
00:10:34,350 --> 00:10:36,120
And he eats lunch at
MacLaren's every day.
187
00:10:36,140 --> 00:10:38,580
- And he wasn't done.
- Not by a long shot.
188
00:10:39,050 --> 00:10:41,770
You make me thank God for
every mistake I ever made
189
00:10:41,810 --> 00:10:45,600
because each one led me down
the path that brought me to you.
190
00:10:46,460 --> 00:10:49,090
That's,uh,really nice,man.
191
00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:51,430
Whatever. It's okay.
192
00:10:52,370 --> 00:10:56,040
"And when finally come
together,"I want you to hold me.
193
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:59,480
Hold me" "all night. Stroke my hair."
194
00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:02,580
"Tell me I'm a woman
and show me you're a man.
195
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,730
Until there there was only now."
196
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:09,160
You and I... and now."
197
00:11:09,170 --> 00:11:11,360
Yes!
198
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:15,790
You want me to text
that to Ted. I know that.
199
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:20,120
"I do not ask "of the
night explanations.
200
00:11:20,150 --> 00:11:23,020
I wait for it,and it envelops me,"
201
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:28,960
"and so you and bread
and light and shadow are."
202
00:11:29,650 --> 00:11:31,850
That's Pablo Neruda.
203
00:11:31,870 --> 00:11:34,840
I don't know,um,what
bread was doing in there,
204
00:11:34,850 --> 00:11:39,970
but that touched me here and here.
205
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:43,980
Well,if Ted won't say it,I will.
206
00:11:44,180 --> 00:11:46,560
I love you.
207
00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:50,260
That's cool.
208
00:11:51,390 --> 00:11:52,760
Still nothing,huh?
209
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,200
Maybe he's not in love with us.
210
00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:56,930
How can he not be in love with us?
We're everything he's looking for.
211
00:11:56,940 --> 00:11:59,360
I don't get men.
212
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:01,360
Got to head to work.
213
00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:03,010
Will you be... Will you be back?
214
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:08,190
I'll be back when the wind and
fates and chance bring me back.
215
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,090
Which will be tomorrow.
216
00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:12,840
It's cheese steak day.
217
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:17,560
It sounds like you
were all over this guy.
218
00:12:17,580 --> 00:12:19,900
Hope his girlfriend didn't get jealous.
219
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:22,510
Did he mention a girlfriend or...
220
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:28,510
It was all going great until Marshall sent Ted
a text meant for Lily and ruined everything.
221
00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:31,040
Well,it doesn't matter.
Okay? It's over now.
222
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,140
I got to get going,but
here's what's going to happen:
223
00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:37,650
You're going to call him right
now,tell him what you did,and apologize.
224
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:39,900
- You got it?
- Yes.
225
00:12:43,070 --> 00:12:45,120
Or...
226
00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:48,050
Holly explained everything. It
was all just a misunderstanding.
227
00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:50,460
- Everything's great now.
- Really?
228
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,390
Uh,how did,uh,Holly explain
her way out of that one?
229
00:12:53,430 --> 00:12:58,760
Well,apparently,her dumb friend Marsha accidentally
used her phone to text her husband Billy.
230
00:12:58,770 --> 00:13:00,300
Marsha and Billy.
231
00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:02,880
No one sprained any muscles there.
232
00:13:03,290 --> 00:13:05,940
And now we are better than ever.
233
00:13:05,950 --> 00:13:10,810
Look,I know this sounds crazy,but I think
I might actually be falling for this girl.
234
00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:14,460
- You're falling for Barney and Marshall.
- What?
235
00:13:14,470 --> 00:13:17,210
They didn't believe that you
could wait the three days,
236
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,690
so Barney changed her number
in your phone to his work cell.
237
00:13:20,710 --> 00:13:22,770
Holly is Barney and Marshall.
238
00:13:22,780 --> 00:13:25,610
Wait. That whole time it was them?
239
00:13:26,070 --> 00:13:28,640
So Holly wasn't in the bath?
240
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:35,120
Or sitting by her window,looking
up at the stars,thinking about me?
241
00:13:38,690 --> 00:13:43,530
Or lounging in her old cheerleader
uniform reading architecture magazines?
242
00:13:46,540 --> 00:13:49,120
Yeah. I don't think they
actually did those things.
243
00:13:49,130 --> 00:13:51,240
They were just at the bar.
244
00:13:51,260 --> 00:13:52,420
Right.
245
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,460
But,yeah,it was them.
246
00:13:55,110 --> 00:13:57,160
- Unbelievab.
- I know.
247
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,140
So you might as well tell
them you're on to them.
248
00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:02,610
Yeah. Or...
249
00:14:03,090 --> 00:14:05,780
I text them something that will
really mess with their heads.
250
00:14:05,790 --> 00:14:10,090
Oh,I gotcha. Okay. How about...
251
00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:15,160
"I haven't told any of my friends
yet,but I only have three months to live?"
252
00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:16,420
- Not bad.
- Yeah.
253
00:14:16,430 --> 00:14:21,420
How about "I once killed a man with a
shovel,and those feelings are creeping up again"?
254
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:26,250
I-I liked that thing someone said
before about having three months to live.
255
00:14:26,270 --> 00:14:30,970
How about "I never told anyone this,but
I slept with my best friend's mom"?
256
00:14:30,990 --> 00:14:35,470
Oh,that is good,but I feel like we keep
coming back to that three months to live thing.
257
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,600
- Wait. I think I got it.
- Oh,yeah?
258
00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:43,130
He texted back!
259
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:46,290
"I probably shouldn't tell you this.
260
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,300
I mean we barely know each other."
261
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,640
But what the hell,I'll just say it.
262
00:14:51,660 --> 00:14:53,640
This is it,dude. Here
comes the "I love you."
263
00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:57,430
- I sh Stan were here.
- Stan.
264
00:15:00,410 --> 00:15:02,170
What?
265
00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:06,470
I sometimes have gay
dreams about my best friend.
266
00:15:10,950 --> 00:15:15,100
I sometimes have gay
dreams about my best friend.
267
00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:20,820
Why in the world would Ted text a girl he barely
knows that he sometimes has gay dreams about me?
268
00:15:21,910 --> 00:15:24,260
Slow your roll. You?
269
00:15:24,550 --> 00:15:26,410
He's clearly talking about me.
270
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:28,850
Dude,it's me. I'm his best friend.
271
00:15:28,860 --> 00:15:30,940
Okay,one: that has never been proven.
272
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:34,950
Two: If anyone were to have gay
dreams about one of us,it would be me.
273
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,320
I mean,look at me. Now look at you.
274
00:15:38,330 --> 00:15:42,460
A still-in-the-closet 80-year-old
wouldn't be into that mess.
275
00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:46,550
Here's the thing,Barney.
I'm snuggly. You're not.
276
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:50,300
Who wouldn't want to snuggle up next
to this business on a Sunday morning?
277
00:15:50,330 --> 00:15:54,670
Wrapped in a comforter,and it's raining
outside,and there's muffins warming in the oven.
278
00:15:54,690 --> 00:15:57,470
I'm cuddly,bitch. Deal with it.
279
00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,720
I work out every day.
280
00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:03,520
If there is one thing we know about
Ted,it's that he likes a nice body.
281
00:16:03,550 --> 00:16:05,210
This body would rock his world.
282
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,980
Ted and I have a history.
I know what he likes.
283
00:16:07,990 --> 00:16:11,510
There are things I could do to
him that would blow his mind...
284
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,230
Why do we keep trying
to have sex with Ted?
285
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,410
I don't know. It's weird.
286
00:16:18,420 --> 00:16:20,040
Crazy,right?
287
00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:22,520
Ted's having gay dreams about me.
288
00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:26,630
And by me,he means
M-E,Marshall Eriksen,
289
00:16:26,660 --> 00:16:29,350
star of Ted's gay dreams.
290
00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:32,540
Who cares? So Ted has gay
dreams about one of you guys.
291
00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:36,200
It's not like you found out
he has three months to live.
292
00:16:36,210 --> 00:16:39,870
That's like,oh,shocking,right?
293
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:41,670
Hey,look at this guy.
294
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,110
How's it going,uh,best
friend of 12 years?
295
00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:50,940
Well,it's kind of weird,but,uh,I
had this crazy dream the other night.
296
00:16:50,980 --> 00:16:52,220
It's a little embarrassing.
297
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,920
You can tell us,Ted.
This is a safe space.
298
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:57,720
ah,your feelings are
perfectly natural,buddy.
299
00:16:57,730 --> 00:17:01,690
Okay. Here's what happened. So I'm at...
300
00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:05,270
And then I proceeded to waste a
half hour of those bastards' lives,
301
00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:06,720
telling them about this dream I had
302
00:17:06,730 --> 00:17:10,550
where I ate dinner with my top five
favorite architects throughout history.
303
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:14,920
And then,at the end of the meal,Frank
Gehry slides the check over to I.M.Pei,
304
00:17:14,930 --> 00:17:20,350
and he says,Buddy,tonight,your
name is I.M.Paying.
305
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:24,470
Buckminster Fuller
almost did a spit take.
306
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,100
And then I woke up.
307
00:17:28,790 --> 00:17:30,940
So,that-that's it?
308
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,860
No other dreams?
309
00:17:32,870 --> 00:17:37,160
- Nothing confusing or erotic?
- Nope.
310
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,950
Okay,how about this?
311
00:17:39,980 --> 00:17:43,020
Ted,you know how at some point in the
future,machines will rise up against us?
312
00:17:43,030 --> 00:17:45,580
- Sure. -
Okay.So,the machines--
313
00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:47,280
they've killed everybody,
314
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:53,660
and all that's left
is you,me,and Barney.
315
00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:57,850
Which one of us would you,like...
316
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,570
get with?
317
00:18:02,430 --> 00:18:03,940
And,um...
318
00:18:03,980 --> 00:18:06,680
why do I have to get with one of you?
319
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,060
The machines are forcing you.
320
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:10,730
They want to watch. That's
just how they get down.
321
00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:14,050
Oh,that's a... that's
a... That's a tough one.
322
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:17,280
I guess it would have to be...
323
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:21,790
Holly.
324
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,240
Robin told me what you guys did.
325
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:24,880
That's why I made up
the gay dreams thing.
326
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:27,050
Uh,guys,this is Holly.
327
00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:30,480
And I didn't wait your
precious three days to call her.
328
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:32,840
I knew where she worked,so
I tracked her down.
329
00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:35,030
Um,let me ask you. Did
I call you too soon?
330
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,580
I loved that he called me right away.
331
00:18:37,590 --> 00:18:39,680
I found it very romantic.
332
00:18:39,710 --> 00:18:42,730
And by the way,I don't sit around my
apartment reading architecture magazines
333
00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:45,230
in my old cheerleader uniform.
334
00:18:45,510 --> 00:18:48,470
I do that completely naked.
335
00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:54,570
So,uh,Holly and I are
going out to dinner.
336
00:18:54,580 --> 00:18:56,570
- I'll meet you out front.
- Okay.
337
00:18:58,530 --> 00:19:01,240
I'm sorr bud. We-We were
just trying to help you.
338
00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:04,780
And,also,it was really fun.
339
00:19:06,210 --> 00:19:09,610
I don't need your help,okay?
I can take care of myself.
340
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,380
And,yeah,maybe...
341
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,260
maybe there are some girls who wouldn't
like it that I called them right away
342
00:19:14,290 --> 00:19:16,820
or said things too soon,but guess what?
343
00:19:16,850 --> 00:19:19,300
Those aren't the right girls for me.
344
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,550
Maybe the right girl is the one
who loves that I do those thin
345
00:19:22,580 --> 00:19:28,380
because that's just who I am,and I'm not going
to change because of some stupid Three Days Rule.
346
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:34,930
Oh,and,um,Holly spells
her name with an "I."
347
00:19:36,310 --> 00:19:41,380
So I had proven that the Three Days Rule was
wrong,and I was out to dinner with a pretty girl.
348
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:45,630
And until right now,I've never told anyone
the truth about what happened on that date.
349
00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:48,310
That's so funny! I love indie music,too.
350
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,340
We should get married.
351
00:19:50,810 --> 00:19:54,150
Just kidding. Or am I?
352
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,150
Just kidding again.
353
00:19:56,180 --> 00:19:58,100
That's it. We're totally
going to Brazil together!
354
00:19:58,380 --> 00:20:02,530
And I went to my doctor this morning,and he
said it is all cleared up,so I'm good to go.
355
00:20:03,030 --> 00:20:04,930
I think I'm in love with you,Ted.
356
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:10,070
In the end,I didn't need to wait
three days,but Holly really,really did.
357
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:14,400
Like a lot of rules,there are times
to follow them and times to not.
358
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,360
But I will tell you this.
359
00:20:16,380 --> 00:20:20,170
When I got your mother's
number,I called her right away.
360
00:20:23,550 --> 00:20:25,940
- Stan!
- Hey,fellas.
361
00:20:25,950 --> 00:20:28,160
- Stan,aren't you working?
- Took the night off.
362
00:20:28,170 --> 00:20:29,880
- That's great! We can all hang out!
- Yeah.
363
00:20:29,890 --> 00:20:31,940
Uh,I can't. Got a date.
364
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,220
- You ready,baby?
- Yup.
365
00:20:34,230 --> 00:20:35,530
What the...
366
00:20:35,580 --> 00:20:39,390
Wait,wait. Couldn't you guys just
stay here and do your date with us?
367
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,670
Yeah,it'll be fun! Look,I'm laughing!
368
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:45,090
It's fun here! You like magic?
369
00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:48,560
Fellas,it-it's time
we said good-bye.
370
00:20:48,590 --> 00:20:53,220
I mean,we shared a very special afternoon
together,and that's something I will always cherish.
371
00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:55,570
I'll never forget you guys.
372
00:20:56,060 --> 00:20:58,510
- Do you even know their mes?
- No idea. Is the tall one Ted?
373
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,640
No. That's Marshall.
He's married to Lily.
374
00:21:00,650 --> 00:21:03,500
- Okay. You like chicken wings?
- Oh,yeah.