1 00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:03,070 Uploaded by Alooloo Ali-rabeh@hotmail.com 2 00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:08,290 **thing deep within each of us,that compels us to settle disagreements with our fists? 3 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:10,820 Whatever it is,it's there right from the beginning. 4 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:13,230 Okay,okay,okay. Stop fighting! 5 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:14,350 Why? 6 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:16,640 Because it's stupid and juvenile. 7 00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:19,680 We're six. We are stid and juvenile. 8 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:22,710 Okay,okay! 9 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,220 Kids,I've only been in one fight in my life. 10 00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:27,320 And this is the story of how it happened. 11 00:00:27,350 --> 00:00:29,970 Now,as you know,I recently had been left at the altar. 12 00:00:29,980 --> 00:00:32,200 And the worst thing about getting left at the altar? 13 00:00:32,230 --> 00:00:36,320 I mean,aside from actually getting left at the altar,was what came next. 14 00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:40,110 A steady unrelenting unbearable stream of pity. 15 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,130 Vodka cranberry. Gin and tonic. 16 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:47,420 Scotch and soda. 17 00:00:48,330 --> 00:00:51,040 Um,thank you. 18 00:00:52,610 --> 00:00:54,010 Could I see a menu? 19 00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:58,020 Ted,Im going to go get you a menu... 20 00:00:58,030 --> 00:01:01,830 but I promise you I will come back. 21 00:01:04,470 --> 00:01:06,920 Okay,we have to start going someplace else. 22 00:01:06,930 --> 00:01:10,230 At this bar,I'm always going to be the guy who got left at the altar. 23 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:11,690 That sucks! 24 00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:13,860 Good times. 25 00:01:13,870 --> 00:01:15,490 - We lost Barney. - What do you mean? 26 00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:17,840 There's a girl over there in a tight red sweater. 27 00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:20,130 So he's not listening to a word anyone's saying. 28 00:01:20,140 --> 00:01:20,970 Right,Barney? 29 00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:22,720 Give me a break! 30 00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:25,390 See,he figured out a while back he could fake an entire conversation 31 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:28,720 just by saying titles of black sitcoms from the 70's and 80's. 32 00:01:28,730 --> 00:01:30,330 What's happening? 33 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:35,510 Hey,Barney,want to go upstairs and do stuff to me that I won't even let Marshall do? 34 00:01:35,770 --> 00:01:38,700 different strokes. 35 00:01:39,690 --> 00:01:41,180 What the hell is this? 36 00:01:41,190 --> 00:01:43,020 I've told you kids about Doug,right? 37 00:01:43,030 --> 00:01:45,330 I haven't? Oh,well... 38 00:01:45,340 --> 00:01:47,810 Doug Martin was a bartender at MacLaren's. 39 00:01:47,820 --> 00:01:49,400 He was always kind of around. 40 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,330 - Have... you met Ted? - What? No,no,no. 41 00:01:51,340 --> 00:01:52,740 We're not playing "Have you met Ted?" 42 00:01:52,750 --> 00:01:55,820 Am I dead? Am I dead? 43 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:59,600 Tonight... I pick up a lesbian. 44 00:01:59,610 --> 00:02:02,320 Anyway,three things you need to know about Doug. 45 00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:04,830 The first thing is that Doug had a bi ... 46 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:06,660 just crumbled,so he's on the ground,right? 47 00:02:06,670 --> 00:02:10,150 And we're just kicking him! He's making that face,all shaking. 48 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,880 So,anyway,what we did was we left him there. 49 00:02:14,890 --> 00:02:17,070 Top you off? 50 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:20,190 The second thing is that he was weird about his hair. 51 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:23,290 - What? - What? 52 00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:25,120 Are you looking at my hair? 53 00:02:25,510 --> 00:02:27,940 Uh,no,sir. I-I was not. 54 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:30,430 It's a toupee. 55 00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:34,480 Is that funny? You want to laugh it up? Is it funny,guy? Is it? 56 00:02:34,490 --> 00:02:36,030 I'll tell you what,why don't you,why don't you grab it? 57 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:37,580 - Excuse me? - Go ahead,grab it. 58 00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,760 Grab it right off my head. Go ahead. 59 00:02:40,230 --> 00:02:41,370 Huh,you don't want to grab it? 60 00:02:41,390 --> 00:02:43,780 Come on. Come on,go ahead and grab it,huh? 61 00:02:43,790 --> 00:02:45,120 Want to grab it off my head? 62 00:02:45,130 --> 00:02:47,830 Grab my toupee right off my head. 63 00:02:52,530 --> 00:02:54,890 I like you guys! 64 00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:58,100 But the third thing is that he was very loyal to his regulars. 65 00:02:58,330 --> 00:02:59,460 There they are! 66 00:02:59,490 --> 00:03:01,160 - Hey,you guys want your booth? - Oh,no. 67 00:03:01,170 --> 00:03:03,080 - We're fine over here. - Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. 68 00:03:03,090 --> 00:03:04,380 Maybe a little too loyal. 69 00:03:04,390 --> 00:03:06,270 Oh,no,it's fine,it's fine. 70 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:07,570 Okay,you two lovebirds! 71 00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:10,530 Les take this somewhere else-- booth's reserved. 72 00:03:10,540 --> 00:03:12,450 Let's go! Now! Come on! 73 00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:14,230 Let's see some htle,Father. Up you get. 74 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,910 Okay,guys,here we are! 75 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:18,290 So,that's Doug. 76 00:03:18,310 --> 00:03:19,530 What the hell is this? 77 00:03:19,540 --> 00:03:21,450 Oh,um,well,some guys are sitting in our booth. 78 00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:23,830 But you know what? This is fine. 79 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,040 Let's go,I'll take care of it. 80 00:03:29,050 --> 00:03:31,790 Oh,boy,there he goes. 81 00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,890 Ladies,if you'll please adjourn to your usual booth. 82 00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:43,580 Gentlemen,I will require your assistance outside. 83 00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:44,610 Our assistance with what? 84 00:03:44,620 --> 00:03:47,620 We're going to go out in the alley and fight those guys. 85 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,430 What's happening now? 86 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:54,340 -=http://sfile.ydy.com=- proudly presents 87 00:03:54,350 --> 00:04:01,340 -=http://sfile.ydy.com=- sync:ßÇÈâÈâ 88 00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:03,340 How I Met Your Mother Season04 Episode10 89 00:04:03,350 --> 00:04:04,490 I'm sorry,did you just say we were gonna... 90 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:07,840 Look,those guys are being inconsiderate,okay? 91 00:04:07,850 --> 00:04:10,850 So we're going to go outside and cave in their skulls,okay? 92 00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:13,290 This will be fun! 93 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,280 He wants us to fight? 94 00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:19,040 Like,with our hands and stuff? 95 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:21,700 And feet maybe? I don't know what the rules are. 96 00:04:21,710 --> 00:04:24,720 Wow,a fight. Should we go out there? 97 00:04:24,730 --> 00:04:27,740 Come on,Ted. There's only three this you'll ever see me fight: 98 00:04:27,750 --> 00:04:32,770 the stubborn clasp of a bra,Sexual harassment charges-- nine for nine-- 99 00:04:34,070 --> 00:04:39,570 And the urge to vomit when I see someone wearing brown shoes with a black suit. 100 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:41,500 Marshall? 101 00:04:41,510 --> 00:04:44,150 Dude,fighting is for losers. We're civilized guys. 102 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,020 Civilized guys don't fight. 103 00:04:46,030 --> 00:04:49,180 Unless it's with lightsabers. But that's like three to five years away,so... 104 00:04:49,190 --> 00:04:50,910 Well,that's not true. 105 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,710 Robin,I'm on the forums every day. 106 00:04:52,730 --> 00:04:56,470 Three to five Thanksgivings from now,I'm going to be carving e turkey with Old Green. 107 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,580 No,I'm saying there are plenty of legitimate reasons to get in a fight-- 108 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:05,720 it might not be pretty,but in certain situations,you gotta do what you gotta do. 109 00:05:05,730 --> 00:05:08,880 Right,I forgot. She thinks fighting's sexy. 110 00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:11,840 No,I do not! A lot... 111 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,430 Look,I come from a culture of hockey players. 112 00:05:14,450 --> 00:05:18,920 If a guy can throw down,it's somewhat way hot. 113 00:05:18,930 --> 00:05:20,960 And scars,hello! 114 00:05:20,980 --> 00:05:23,470 If a guy's got a scar,he's got a Robin. 115 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:26,440 And if he's missing teeth? I'm missing my pants. 116 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,610 I'm missing my wisdom teeth. 117 00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:32,310 Outpatient procedure. 118 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:35,880 Local anesthesia. Whatever. It ain't a thing. 119 00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,720 Look,maybe we should go out there. 120 00:05:38,730 --> 00:05:41,780 I can't believe we're even having this discussion. 121 00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:45,480 Ted,you're 30; you're too old to act like this. 122 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:49,180 I was 30 and in those 30 years I'd been punched once. 123 00:05:49,190 --> 00:05:51,950 There's a very simple explana... 124 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,360 There was that thing at camp. 125 00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:57,180 Today,we're going to braid friendship bracelets. 126 00:05:57,530 --> 00:06:00,520 In college,I studied some Kung Fu. 127 00:06:05,820 --> 00:06:08,340 And well,there was some other stuff. 128 00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:14,470 The thing with the goat wasn't for another few months. 129 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,440 The point is,I had never been in a fight. 130 00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:18,070 - I'm going out there. - No! 131 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:21,440 Dude,listen to me,please,trust me,I've been in plenty of fights. 132 00:06:21,450 --> 00:06:23,740 It's really nothing to be proud of. 133 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:26,130 Who did you get in a fight with? 134 00:06:26,140 --> 00:06:28,370 My brothers. 135 00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:33,330 Yes,I'm sure that was quite a rumble in the Eriksen rumpus room. 136 00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:35,530 I love brotherly horseplay! 137 00:06:35,540 --> 00:06:37,540 Here comes the tickle monster! 138 00:06:37,550 --> 00:06:39,780 Noogie patrol! 139 00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:43,240 Wait,wait,wait! Timesies! Timesies! 140 00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:45,630 Cocoa break. 141 00:06:47,670 --> 00:06:50,260 Oh,cocoa break. 142 00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:53,370 Okay,it's clobbering time. 143 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:56,030 Ted,don't do this; you're a nice guy. 144 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,730 That's your best quality. 145 00:06:57,760 --> 00:06:58,740 Is it? 146 00:06:58,750 --> 00:07:03,220 'Cause I seem to remember this nice guy getting dumped by his fianc\e for a Tae Kwon Do instructor. 147 00:07:03,230 --> 00:07:06,090 Look,this may sound crazy,but I think I need to do this. 148 00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:09,850 I-I think this is an experience I need to have. 149 00:07:09,860 --> 00:07:11,960 I'm going. 150 00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:17,670 Me,too! 151 00:07:18,570 --> 00:07:19,750 Guys... 152 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:22,740 take a good look at this face,because the next time you see it, 153 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:26,650 it will be disfigured in the hottest possible way. 154 00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:29,770 Because that's who I am-- I'm a man. 155 00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:33,730 I like to fight and mix it up and get all dirty. 156 00:07:34,390 --> 00:07:37,670 Can you find a wood hanger for this? 157 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,550 Whoa,what happened here? 158 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:43,740 I know,right? 159 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:46,510 Who's not looking at my toupee now,huh? 160 00:07:46,540 --> 00:07:48,310 - Look what we did to these guys! - We? 161 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:51,500 Yeah,"we." Come on,man,we're a good team. 162 00:07:51,510 --> 00:07:53,320 Nice work boys! We did it! 163 00:07:53,330 --> 00:07:55,950 No,no,no,you did it. We didn't do anything. 164 00:07:55,960 --> 00:08:00,730 Okay,yeah,yeah,sure,I just beat up three guys by myself. 165 00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:01,960 You guys. That's good. 166 00:08:01,970 --> 00:08:06,950 You and you-- free drinks for life. 167 00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:13,050 He thinks we were in this fight with him. 168 00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:15,860 We were in this fight with him. 169 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:20,970 And now we are going to go in there and tell everyone the legendary tale of how we beat up some guys. 170 00:08:20,980 --> 00:08:24,770 And everyone is going to think it's great and everyone is going to sleep with me again. 171 00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:28,010 Dude,come on,no one is gonna believe we were in a fight-- look at us. 172 00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:30,410 Oh,that's a good... 173 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:31,810 What are you doing? 174 00:08:31,820 --> 00:08:33,630 What I should've done a long time ago. 175 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,100 - What? - I don't know,I just hit myself in the eye! 176 00:08:36,110 --> 00:08:38,710 I don't even know what I'm saying-- 177 00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:41,730 I throw an awesome right hook,by the way. 178 00:08:41,750 --> 00:08:43,660 - Okay,are you ready? - To go back in? 179 00:08:43,670 --> 00:08:45,830 No,for this. 180 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,450 God! You just punched me in the nose! 181 00:08:49,460 --> 00:08:50,350 Are you crying? 182 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:51,470 Yes,I'm crying! 183 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,850 You just punched me in the nose! 184 00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:55,110 Oh,that's going to swell up real good. 185 00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:56,590 You're going to look like Owen Wilson. 186 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:57,580 Okay,let's get back in there. 187 00:08:57,590 --> 00:08:59,690 Okay,but just,let's just play this down,okay? 188 00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:02,680 I don't want this to turn into a big thing. 189 00:09:03,980 --> 00:09:08,140 and takes his shoe off! Hits him in the mouth... Hey,there they are! 190 00:09:08,150 --> 00:09:11,280 The guys that got my back! 191 00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:25,860 You two got in a fight. Really? 192 00:09:25,870 --> 00:09:29,500 Uh,no,Barney punched me and himself in the face to make it look like we got in a fight. 193 00:09:29,510 --> 00:09:31,980 Come on,Marshall! 194 00:09:31,990 --> 00:09:34,720 Wow,look at your eye. 195 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,290 You look like a badass. 196 00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:39,050 I'm surprised to see you had it in me. 197 00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:42,110 You. Had it in you. 198 00:09:42,630 --> 00:09:46,130 Do you... want to touch it? 199 00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,920 Oh,my God,it's warm! 200 00:09:53,950 --> 00:09:55,890 Victory drinks! 201 00:09:55,900 --> 00:10:00,240 Free! Free! Free! Free! 202 00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:02,590 7.50 203 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:03,940 Why do I have to pay? 204 00:10:03,950 --> 00:10:07,330 'Cause you don't got my back. These guys got my back. 205 00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,920 You know what,Doug? I will gladly pay. And you know why? 206 00:10:09,930 --> 00:10:11,590 Because that's what grownups do. 207 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,340 They pay for their drinks,and they don't get into fights. 208 00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:16,630 You know what I was doing,while you guys were out there being immature? 209 00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:19,620 - I'll tell you what I was doing. - Your nails? 210 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,070 No.I was doing-- 211 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,700 The relationship quiz in this month's Cosmo? 212 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:24,930 No.I was doing-- 213 00:10:24,940 --> 00:10:28,900 Your best not to cry when Big came back for Carrie at the end of the Sex and the City movie? 214 00:10:28,910 --> 00:10:30,710 - No. - Spoilers much? 215 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:32,790 No. I'll tell you what I was doing-- 216 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,550 The captain of the football team because he gave you his promise ring 217 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:39,630 and you look so pretty in your open back Homecoming dress? 218 00:10:41,420 --> 00:10:44,020 Sorry. 219 00:10:44,030 --> 00:10:45,760 I hate those guys! 220 00:10:45,780 --> 00:10:48,050 Acting like they're the manliest guys in the universe, 221 00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:51,610 like they're Crocodile Dundee and David Hasselhoff. 222 00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:53,750 Those are the manliest guys in the universe? 223 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,680 I don't understand why they're getting all this attention. 224 00:10:55,690 --> 00:10:57,940 I mean,I'm the real hero here. 225 00:10:57,950 --> 00:10:59,510 Mm,yeah,you are. 226 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:02,430 I'm serious,woman. Put it back in your pants. 227 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:09,550 Marshall,you're the man every boy should grow up to become and every girl should marry. 228 00:11:10,650 --> 00:11:12,000 You know what? 229 00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:14,540 I have two kids in my class who won't stop fighting. 230 00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:19,210 If you come to school tomorrow and tell them your story of choosing the path of nonviolence, 231 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,490 it might really set them strait. 232 00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:25,120 And save me having to get up early to make a lesson plan. 233 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:29,220 All right. Okay. I'll set them straight. 234 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:32,940 - You're a wuss. - What? No! 235 00:11:32,950 --> 00:11:37,150 Mahatma Panda and Martin Luther Koala are telling you kids this story to illustrate-- 236 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,690 To illustrate that you're a wuss? 237 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,990 Why didn't you just fight those guys? 238 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,720 Were you scared? 239 00:11:43,730 --> 00:11:48,290 What? Pssht! No! I wasn't scared! 240 00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:50,160 I've been in plenty of fights,okay? 241 00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:51,550 You're huge! 242 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:54,910 You must weigh like a thousand pounds. 243 00:11:55,100 --> 00:12:01,750 Okay,first of all,I'm wearing a baggy sweater,and it has horizontal stripes. 244 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,770 And I also-- and I had a salty lunch... 245 00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:05,990 And so I'm retain-- You know what? Shut up! 246 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:12,260 Wuss! 247 00:12:14,260 --> 00:12:18,290 Wow,so,you just beat those guys up? 248 00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:19,980 Just? 249 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,720 Oh,Amanda,were it so simple. 250 00:12:22,730 --> 00:12:26,180 You see,hand to hand combat is about so much more than 251 00:12:26,190 --> 00:12:29,040 just administering brute force on your opponent,right B? 252 00:12:29,050 --> 00:12:30,480 You know it! 253 00:12:30,490 --> 00:12:32,680 It's a science. 254 00:12:32,690 --> 00:12:35,080 The sweet science,as it were. 255 00:12:35,090 --> 00:12:38,590 Wait,I'm confused,what did those guys do to deserve it? 256 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:44,350 - Well,this may sound petty,but they sat in ourooth. - They sat in our booth. 257 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,050 - And nobody... - Nobody. 258 00:12:46,060 --> 00:12:50,340 sits in our booth. 259 00:12:51,930 --> 00:12:55,000 Are you going to beat those guys up? 260 00:12:58,290 --> 00:13:02,510 yes,we are going to beat those guys up. Ted,come on. 261 00:13:04,710 --> 00:13:08,860 You two. Our booth. Get out. Now! 262 00:13:08,870 --> 00:13:10,040 What are you doing? 263 00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:11,920 Relax,we got Doug. Big Doug's got our backs. 264 00:13:11,930 --> 00:13:14,160 Yeah,Doug's not here tonight. 265 00:13:14,170 --> 00:13:16,310 Can I get you guys anything? Drinks? Cash? 266 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,370 Those two girls over there? 267 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:19,970 Are you Ted Mosby? 268 00:13:19,980 --> 00:13:22,130 Um,uh,yeah,I am. 269 00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:23,910 And you're Barney Stinson? 270 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,560 They've heard of us. 271 00:13:25,570 --> 00:13:26,690 It's cool,guys. 272 00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:30,120 We'll,uh,let you leave with your asses unkicked. 273 00:13:30,130 --> 00:13:31,890 This time. 274 00:13:31,910 --> 00:13:34,120 A'ight? 275 00:13:34,590 --> 00:13:36,280 What's,uh,what's this? 276 00:13:36,290 --> 00:13:39,900 - You've been served. - You're being sued for assault. 277 00:13:39,910 --> 00:13:42,400 Enjoy your booth. 278 00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:49,790 That was close. 279 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,280 Assault! They're suing us for assault! 280 00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:57,750 Okay,well,what's the penalty for assault? 281 00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:59,270 What,do I have to pay a fine? 282 00:13:59,290 --> 00:14:00,960 Pick up trash on the highway? 283 00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:03,630 'Cause I've done that before,know what I me? 284 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:04,820 I don't know. 285 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,600 Actually,he did know that the worst we were looking at was a small civil settlement, 286 00:14:08,610 --> 00:14:10,330 and probably no criminal charges. 287 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,020 But he was really pissed at us. 288 00:14:12,030 --> 00:14:15,240 I mean,you guys could be looking at some serious prison time. 289 00:14:15,260 --> 00:14:18,080 - Prison? - I can't go to prison! 290 00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:22,130 I mean,I could get a lot of reading done,finally write some short stories. 291 00:14:22,150 --> 00:14:23,630 Work out all the time. 292 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,230 Seriously,if I don't come out there completely ripped-- 293 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,210 Ted,we can't go to prison! 294 00:14:28,230 --> 00:14:31,160 People get shivved in the joint! 295 00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,990 Plus the meals are really starchy. 296 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:38,410 Well,you guys should have thought of that before you bt up those guys. 297 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,380 What if we didn't? 298 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,230 - Didn't what,Ted? - Didn't beat up those guys. 299 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,970 What if Doug beat up tho guys all by himself and we didn't do anything? 300 00:14:45,980 --> 00:14:47,330 I knew it! 301 00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:49,380 I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! 302 00:14:49,390 --> 00:14:51,400 You guys didn't throw a single punch. 303 00:14:51,410 --> 00:14:54,180 Well,I hit Ted and myself,so... 304 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,510 Well,who's the wuss now? 305 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,510 Answer: You guys. 306 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,380 Look,can you just help us get out of this? 307 00:15:00,410 --> 00:15:01,780 You know the old expression: 308 00:15:01,790 --> 00:15:04,630 If you're not prepared to do the time don't pretend to do the crime 309 00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:08,480 and laugh and get free drinks and not stand up for your friend who, 310 00:15:08,510 --> 00:15:12,970 incidentally,has been in plenty of fights with his brothers. 311 00:15:14,170 --> 00:15:16,880 Look,you've got to help us out,Marshall. 312 00:15:16,890 --> 00:15:19,500 We're the Three Musketeers! 313 00:15:19,510 --> 00:15:22,570 If I give up Ted,how much time am I looking at? 314 00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:25,290 Hey,guys! 315 00:15:26,010 --> 00:15:30,060 Barney,I've been looking for you. 316 00:15:30,070 --> 00:15:33,520 I got,uh,tickets to this hockey game tonight. It's stupid. 317 00:15:33,530 --> 00:15:34,790 You want to go? 318 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,900 It might go kind of late,so,maybe,after the game we can grab a drink. 319 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:42,020 Oh,hey,Robin,get this. You know that fight? 320 00:15:42,030 --> 00:15:44,880 These guys faked the whole thing. 321 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:53,490 Oh,I forgot! Tonight is no good. 322 00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:58,000 I uh,I can't go to that hockey game tonight,I got that,uh... 323 00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:00,840 That,uh... 324 00:16:01,330 --> 00:16:03,450 that,uh... 325 00:16:04,610 --> 00:16:07,260 That,uh... 326 00:16:08,290 --> 00:16:11,770 That,uh... That,uh... 327 00:16:16,450 --> 00:16:18,740 Good news-- I talked to the guys. 328 00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:19,450 What guys? 329 00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:20,890 The guys you didn't beat up. 330 00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:24,350 They agreed to drop the lawsuit. Boom! Lawyered. 331 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:25,890 What? They agreed to drop it? 332 00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:29,170 Yeah,I just explained that you two are wusses. 333 00:16:29,180 --> 00:16:31,880 We had a good laugh about that. A good long laugh,actually. 334 00:16:31,890 --> 00:16:35,210 I explained how you get a mani/pedi once a month. 335 00:16:35,220 --> 00:16:38,060 Weekly,Wolverine-- some of us care. 336 00:16:38,070 --> 00:16:43,410 And how you played the hammer dulcimer in the Pre-Reformation Dance Society at Wesleyan. 337 00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:48,140 Did you at least tell them we were one of the premier Medieval chamber groups in the Little Ivies? 338 00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:49,320 Oh,I did. 339 00:16:49,330 --> 00:16:52,380 And we all agreed it was much more likely that one guy beat up the three of them 340 00:16:52,390 --> 00:16:55,830 than that you two had anything to do with it,so... 341 00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:58,890 Wait,so... so now they're only suing Doug. 342 00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:00,750 Affirmative. 343 00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:04,360 Angry,irrational,violent Doug, 344 00:17:04,370 --> 00:17:08,060 who now knows we were the ones who threw him under the bus. 345 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,550 They what? 346 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,760 - Look,Doug,we can explain-- - Explain what? 347 00:17:13,790 --> 00:17:16,890 Explain how you stabbed me in the back right to my face? 348 00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:20,210 - Robin,I'm scared. - Yeah,is Doug seeing anyone? 349 00:17:20,220 --> 00:17:22,970 Are you seeing anyone? You really should. 350 00:17:22,980 --> 00:17:27,270 Doug,look,you don't understand,you beat up those guys all by yourself. 351 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,610 It's true,all right? They had nothing to do with it. 352 00:17:29,620 --> 00:17:33,340 I mean... look at these two. 353 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:37,580 It was all Ted! 354 00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,750 - Look at this guy. - Yeah,look at me! 355 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,460 He wouldn't last five minutes in a fight. 356 00:17:41,470 --> 00:17:42,960 Well,I think I could last at least five-- 357 00:17:42,970 --> 00:17:46,000 He's got the muscle definition of linguini. 358 00:17:46,010 --> 00:17:49,570 Yeah,linguini with meatballs maybe-- check it. 359 00:17:49,580 --> 00:17:52,530 - Ted,Ted,don't. - Look! 360 00:17:52,980 --> 00:17:55,590 Okay,you know what,maybe it was just me. 361 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,010 Actually,you know what,that makes a lot of sense. 362 00:17:57,020 --> 00:17:58,670 I tend to black out a lot. 363 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:01,920 Anyway,look,I always got your back. 364 00:18:01,930 --> 00:18:03,840 All I ask in return is that you got mine. 365 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:09,190 But you know what? You don't. You can't be counted on. 366 00:18:09,950 --> 00:18:12,660 No wonder your fianc\e left you. 367 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:16,080 And here it is,kids,the only fight I've ever been in. 368 00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:19,560 So what can I share about the experience? 369 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:24,580 Well,for starters,when you punch someone in the face, 370 00:18:24,590 --> 00:18:28,480 it hurts your hand...a lot. 371 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:33,010 But what hurts even more than that? 372 00:18:33,340 --> 00:18:35,500 This. 373 00:18:35,510 --> 00:18:38,650 And the next thing I remember was waking up. 374 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:42,000 Okay,I'm all warmed up. Let's do this thing. 375 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:46,020 Turns out getting in a fight was a terrible idea. 376 00:18:46,030 --> 00:18:47,890 And that's my story. 377 00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:49,720 And what did you learn? 378 00:18:49,730 --> 00:18:54,170 Well,I learned that fighting is bad 379 00:18:54,180 --> 00:18:56,890 and you shouldn't do it ever. 380 00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:58,870 Any questions? 381 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:02,240 Yeah,where do you find these people? 382 00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:03,480 I know! 383 00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:05,820 Was there a big sale at the wuss market? 384 00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:08,850 Wuss! Wuss! Wuss! 385 00:19:08,860 --> 00:19:12,250 Of course,I didn't tell those kids what really happened. 386 00:19:12,580 --> 00:19:16,310 Okay,I'm all warmed up. Let's do this thing. 387 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:21,500 - What happened? - This happened. 388 00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:26,750 Holy crap! 389 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:31,320 Yeah,turns out Uncle Marshall and his brothers did a littleore than just roughhouse. 390 00:19:37,470 --> 00:19:39,960 Cocoa break! 391 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,360 Marshall looks good. Has he lost weight? 392 00:19:50,370 --> 00:19:52,870 Bitch,don't even. 393 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:57,580 Kids,I'd love to leave you with the message that fighting is bad and you shouldn't do it, 394 00:19:57,590 --> 00:19:59,190 but I knowhat's pointless. 395 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,090 So,I'll leave you with this: 396 00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:03,550 don't ever get in a fight with Uncle Marshall. 397 00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:06,820 That guy's freaking crazy. 398 00:20:11,090 --> 00:20:15,020 {\a6}thankgiving..... 399 00:20:10,780 --> 00:20:12,790 It is so good to be home. 400 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,530 Mom,Lily,fantastic job. 401 00:20:15,550 --> 00:20:18,230 Good food,good meat,good God,let's eat. Right? 402 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:19,640 Okay,here we go. 403 00:20:19,650 --> 00:20:21,900 Goggles on. 404 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,650 Alright,so,you guys pass the plates. 405 00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:30,710 Lily,you want white or dark meat? 406 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,820 Dark! Honey,please be careful. Uploaded by Alooloo Ali-rabeh@hotmail.com