1
00:00:01,819 --> 00:00:05,004
I can't believe Metro News One is just
forwarding you all this fan mail now.

2
00:00:05,249 --> 00:00:06,926
I know. I quit like four months ago.

3
00:00:07,051 --> 00:00:09,050
You had more fans than I thought.

4
00:00:09,293 --> 00:00:11,797
And only about 60%
of them are prison inmates.

5
00:00:12,555 --> 00:00:14,367
What are these guys thinking?

6
00:00:14,575 --> 00:00:16,936
I am way past
my "dating prisoners" phase.

7
00:00:17,061 --> 00:00:19,619
It's like, hello,
I'm not 19 anymore.

8
00:00:21,611 --> 00:00:24,469
- Lottery Girl's on.
- I just feel sorry for these women.

9
00:00:24,594 --> 00:00:26,692
This is where broadcast careers
go to die.

10
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,543
Check it out. I make it fun.

11
00:00:28,668 --> 00:00:30,479
I invented a little game.

12
00:00:31,108 --> 00:00:33,179
<i>Tonight's Lotto numbers are...</i>

13
00:00:35,714 --> 00:00:36,744
<i>19...</i>

14
00:00:37,068 --> 00:00:38,312
Age you moved to New York

15
00:00:38,437 --> 00:00:40,506
after a photographer "discovered"
you at a food court

16
00:00:40,631 --> 00:00:42,375
and said he'd get you
in Vogue magazine.

17
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:43,292
<i>53...</i>

18
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,239
Number of semi-nude pictures
he took of you

19
00:00:45,364 --> 00:00:48,003
before you realized he had
no connection to <i>Vogue magazine</i>.

20
00:00:48,702 --> 00:00:49,507
<i>22...</i>

21
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,300
Age you claim you are.

22
00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:52,385
<i>31...</i>

23
00:00:52,777 --> 00:00:54,220
Age you actually are.

24
00:00:54,808 --> 00:00:55,721
<i>45...</i>

25
00:00:55,965 --> 00:00:58,343
Number of minutes it would take me
to get you into a cab,

26
00:00:58,468 --> 00:01:00,880
out of your dress,
and into my jacuzzi.

27
00:01:01,206 --> 00:01:03,020
<i>And tonight's Super Big Ball is...</i>

28
00:01:03,281 --> 00:01:05,742
What happens after
we get out of the jacuzzi.

29
00:01:05,867 --> 00:01:06,649
What up?

30
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,822
Synchro: ShalimarFox, Arrow

31
00:01:21,710 --> 00:01:25,418
<i>Kids, by the winter of 2009,
Robin had been unemployed for months.</i>

32
00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:27,803
<i>But there was a glimmer of hope.</i>

33
00:01:27,928 --> 00:01:29,964
- Hey.
- How'd the audition go?

34
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:32,559
Well, I went in there
feeling really good.

35
00:01:32,684 --> 00:01:35,177
I heard it was just me up
against two other girls.

36
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:36,470
Listening.

37
00:01:43,591 --> 00:01:44,968
- Hi.
- Hi.

38
00:01:48,530 --> 00:01:49,442
And you are?

39
00:01:51,335 --> 00:01:53,446
You've obviously never spent
any time in Denver.

40
00:01:53,892 --> 00:01:55,799
Rochelle Harper, News Center 12.

41
00:01:56,210 --> 00:01:59,139
We were only the number-one
station in the Rockies for

42
00:01:59,264 --> 00:02:00,578
five straight years.

43
00:02:00,981 --> 00:02:03,539
I was an anchor here in town
at Metro News One.

44
00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:05,499
An anchor.

45
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,878
You must have
a killer sign off phrase.

46
00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:09,795
Sorry?

47
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,797
You gotta have
a killer sign off phrase.

48
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,734
Like Walter Cronkite:

49
00:02:14,161 --> 00:02:15,997
"And that's the way it is."

50
00:02:16,608 --> 00:02:18,117
So what's yours?

51
00:02:18,547 --> 00:02:21,117
Well, I would just
always end with a simple

52
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:24,108
"From all of us here at Metro News One,
have a good evening."

53
00:02:28,757 --> 00:02:29,592
Mine is:

54
00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:32,735
"From all of us here
at Barney's apartment, get out."

55
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:37,239
You didn't let those reporter bitches
psych you out, did you?

56
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,242
... and the President's
economic team

57
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,842
is hoping to have a proposal
before Congress

58
00:02:43,136 --> 00:02:44,513
by the end of the month.

59
00:02:44,809 --> 00:02:48,205
From all of us here at News Ten,
have a good evening.

60
00:02:52,379 --> 00:02:54,006
So, good night, New York.

61
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:57,144
And may the road ahead
be lit with dreams

62
00:02:57,361 --> 00:02:58,679
and tomorrows.

63
00:02:59,948 --> 00:03:01,725
Which are lit with dreams...

64
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,280
also.

65
00:03:05,225 --> 00:03:06,502
That's terrible.

66
00:03:06,848 --> 00:03:07,857
And bad...

67
00:03:08,337 --> 00:03:09,337
also.

68
00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:11,065
I wasn't done.

69
00:03:12,581 --> 00:03:14,066
Stand tall, New York.

70
00:03:14,608 --> 00:03:15,834
Trust worthy.

71
00:03:16,268 --> 00:03:17,420
Recycling.

72
00:03:19,072 --> 00:03:20,280
Wear a condom.

73
00:03:22,146 --> 00:03:23,698
Wear a condom?

74
00:03:24,683 --> 00:03:26,831
I'm not gonna be the new
Channel Ten anchor, am I?

75
00:03:27,401 --> 00:03:28,477
This just in.

76
00:03:31,225 --> 00:03:33,199
Maybe the problem is your <i>résumé</i>.

77
00:03:33,564 --> 00:03:36,715
See how mine is lean and mean?
Yours is too cluttered.

78
00:03:37,003 --> 00:03:39,301
Oh, like everything
on your résumé is so relevant?

79
00:03:39,923 --> 00:03:43,889
"Program Director,
88.1 Wesleyan University Radio"?

80
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,887
- Oh, God.
- Dr. X?

81
00:03:46,012 --> 00:03:48,143
You're still bragging about Dr. X?

82
00:03:48,268 --> 00:03:50,498
- Who was Dr. X?
- Nobody knows.

83
00:03:50,743 --> 00:03:53,691
- He was this genius mystery D.J.
- It was Ted.

84
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:56,008
His identity
remains a secret to this day.

85
00:03:56,133 --> 00:03:57,027
It was Ted.

86
00:03:57,381 --> 00:04:00,698
But this phantom of the airwaves
changed the very face of college radio.

87
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:02,700
- It was Ted.
- And your show sucked.

88
00:04:03,953 --> 00:04:07,900
<i>Dr. X here, shooting truth bullets
at you from an undisclosed location.</i>

89
00:04:08,438 --> 00:04:11,513
<i>Because if they knew where I was,
they'd shut me down.</i>

90
00:04:11,638 --> 00:04:13,689
You're on the third floor
of the Student Center

91
00:04:13,814 --> 00:04:15,817
next to the game room, you tool.

92
00:04:15,942 --> 00:04:17,936
<i>I've been getting a lot of letters
about my segment</i>

93
00:04:18,061 --> 00:04:20,467
<i>on how racist
the school's meal plan is.</i>

94
00:04:20,741 --> 00:04:23,645
How are you getting letters if no one
knows where you are, douche?

95
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,695
<i>That's why
I'm organizing a happening </i>

96
00:04:25,820 --> 00:04:28,058
<i>outside the dining hall,
Monday at midnight.</i>

97
00:04:28,491 --> 00:04:30,853
<i>It's high time the Food Service
puppet masters</i>

98
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,486
<i>took ignorance
and injustice off the menu.</i>

99
00:04:34,283 --> 00:04:35,941
<i>Ted, we need a fourth for foosball.</i>

100
00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:39,291
<i>- What are you doing in here, anyway?
- Dude, get out of here!</i>

101
00:04:39,416 --> 00:04:40,701
<i>I'll be there in a second.</i>

102
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:43,881
<i>So remember, dining hall,
Monday, midnight.</i>

103
00:04:44,006 --> 00:04:46,151
<i>Another Dr. X happening.</i>

104
00:04:46,555 --> 00:04:49,876
<i>I'll be there, because X
marks the spot-ot-ot-ot-ot...</i>

105
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:55,127
If you think people liked your show,
they did not-ot-ot-ot...

106
00:04:55,875 --> 00:04:58,839
This is weird. Look
what got mixed in with your fan mail.

107
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,461
- What?
- It's from the U.S.

108
00:05:00,586 --> 00:05:02,051
Department of Immigration.

109
00:05:03,823 --> 00:05:05,983
It's postmarked two months ago.

110
00:05:11,262 --> 00:05:12,978
- Oh, boy.
- What is it?

111
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,632
It's about my work visa.

112
00:05:14,757 --> 00:05:17,027
Unless I can find
a job in the next...

113
00:05:17,995 --> 00:05:20,819
seven days, they're gonna
send me back to Canada.

114
00:05:27,306 --> 00:05:29,526
I can't believe you might be
kicked out of the country.

115
00:05:29,651 --> 00:05:32,109
I know. My whole life is here.

116
00:05:32,234 --> 00:05:35,209
No. We won't let this happen.
One of us will help you find a job.

117
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,816
Yeah, I bet I can get you
something at my school.

118
00:05:37,941 --> 00:05:39,258
No, guys...

119
00:05:39,751 --> 00:05:40,829
It doesn't work.

120
00:05:40,954 --> 00:05:43,425
Robin only gets her work visa
if she gets a job in her field.

121
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,844
You know what, I guess you could stay
if you married a U.S. citizen.

122
00:05:48,695 --> 00:05:50,466
Yeah, that could work.

123
00:05:51,086 --> 00:05:53,814
Oh, no. They could never process that
and make it official in time.

124
00:05:53,939 --> 00:05:55,241
That won't work.

125
00:05:55,366 --> 00:05:56,551
I'm screwed.

126
00:05:56,676 --> 00:05:58,816
I've been sending out my reel
for 3 months, and nothing.

127
00:05:59,428 --> 00:06:02,319
Maybe there's something in your reel
that people aren't responding to.

128
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,113
Let's take a look at it, right?

129
00:06:07,464 --> 00:06:08,913
That's a good question, Norm.

130
00:06:09,038 --> 00:06:11,084
The first thing is from
when I was a cub reporter

131
00:06:11,209 --> 00:06:13,487
for Channel 22 in Red Deer.

132
00:06:14,201 --> 00:06:15,419
In Alberta.

133
00:06:16,095 --> 00:06:16,959
In Canada.

134
00:06:20,407 --> 00:06:22,650
Well, the snow's coming down
pretty hard,

135
00:06:22,775 --> 00:06:26,068
but these intrepid fishermen
are still happy to be out competing

136
00:06:26,193 --> 00:06:29,136
in Lake Athabasca's
Bass Fishing Jamboree,

137
00:06:29,261 --> 00:06:31,219
an August 1st tradition.

138
00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:33,183
Back to you, Norm.

139
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,701
What? That was my first job.

140
00:06:38,950 --> 00:06:40,441
It shows where I came from.

141
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,787
Unless a bear attacks you
in the next three seconds

142
00:06:42,912 --> 00:06:46,260
and you snap its neck with your legs,
that has no business being on your reel.

143
00:06:46,385 --> 00:06:48,932
No, no, I get it, I get it.

144
00:06:49,302 --> 00:06:51,485
Where you're from
is part of who you're selling.

145
00:06:51,610 --> 00:06:53,291
For instance, under "special skills"

146
00:06:53,416 --> 00:06:54,877
on my <i>résumé</i>, I mention that

147
00:06:55,002 --> 00:06:58,375
back in Minnesota, I was the 1995
Nicollet County Slam Dunk Champion.

148
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,836
You put dunk champion
on your <i>résumé</i>?

149
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,343
Yeah, why wouldn't you?

150
00:07:02,468 --> 00:07:05,103
A lot of companies
have basketball teams.

151
00:07:05,228 --> 00:07:07,124
It's good for them
to know that VanillaThunder

152
00:07:07,249 --> 00:07:08,844
can still take the rock to the hole.

153
00:07:09,127 --> 00:07:11,805
- They called you Vanilla Thunder?
- Yeah, Vanilla Thunder.

154
00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:15,548
The Ghost in the Post.
The Human Turnstile.

155
00:07:15,807 --> 00:07:17,776
I didn't...
I didn't play that much D.

156
00:07:18,468 --> 00:07:19,688
You can't still dunk.

157
00:07:20,104 --> 00:07:21,640
Of course I can.

158
00:07:21,914 --> 00:07:23,166
Well, I mean I could...

159
00:07:23,291 --> 00:07:25,903
- until... until recently.
- Until the injury.

160
00:07:26,782 --> 00:07:28,572
It's called iliopsoas tendonitis.

161
00:07:28,818 --> 00:07:30,521
Oh, Yikes. That sounds bad.

162
00:07:30,646 --> 00:07:32,743
It's more commonly known
as dancer's hip.

163
00:07:37,441 --> 00:07:38,585
Dr. Goodman...

164
00:07:40,453 --> 00:07:41,453
Oh, come on!

165
00:07:42,531 --> 00:07:45,881
Iliopsoas tendonitis. That's what
it's called. That's all it's called.

166
00:07:47,319 --> 00:07:50,743
Iliopsoas tendonitis.
It's a basketball injury.

167
00:07:50,868 --> 00:07:52,361
You know, it's no big whoop.

168
00:07:52,486 --> 00:07:55,432
Dancer's hip, Marshall has something
called dancer's hip.

169
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,476
OK, no, no.
They only call it that, look

170
00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,235
because it's very common
with ballet dancers.

171
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,641
So, tell me,
do any of the other little girls

172
00:08:05,766 --> 00:08:07,569
in your class have dancer's hip?

173
00:08:07,838 --> 00:08:10,054
- Yeah, sure.
- I have more of a technical question.

174
00:08:10,179 --> 00:08:13,367
Is it easier to dance when
you don't have external genitalia?

175
00:08:13,642 --> 00:08:15,812
Good, don't build to that,
just go right for it.

176
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:19,534
Guys, come on. Marshall
didn't get this injury from dancing.

177
00:08:19,801 --> 00:08:21,044
Thank you, Lily.

178
00:08:21,169 --> 00:08:23,825
Clearly, the stirrups were set
a little too wide

179
00:08:23,950 --> 00:08:26,130
during his last trip to the gyno.

180
00:08:26,486 --> 00:08:28,820
Guys, I hate to cut you off

181
00:08:29,155 --> 00:08:32,842
before Marshall bursts into tears,
but, Robin, check this out.

182
00:08:32,967 --> 00:08:36,555
What you need
is an awesome video <i>résumé</i>.

183
00:08:37,290 --> 00:08:40,085
Like mine.
I present:

184
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:44,878
Barneysvideoresume.com.

185
00:09:02,138 --> 00:09:03,031
Hello.

186
00:09:03,156 --> 00:09:06,878
<i>Barney Stinson, you've achieved
great success in business,</i>

187
00:09:07,003 --> 00:09:09,381
<i>athletics and personal relationships</i>

188
00:09:09,506 --> 00:09:11,633
<i>and have been an inspiration
to many people.</i>

189
00:09:12,497 --> 00:09:13,556
Is that you?

190
00:09:14,153 --> 00:09:15,929
Are you interviewing yourself?

191
00:09:16,551 --> 00:09:19,063
How can it be me?
That guy's British.

192
00:09:20,062 --> 00:09:23,198
<i>What would you recommend
to your numerous admirers</i>

193
00:09:23,323 --> 00:09:25,661
<i>who want to reach
their highest potential?</i>

194
00:09:25,786 --> 00:09:27,441
And a wee bit Scottish.

195
00:09:29,242 --> 00:09:31,507
The first thing you need to know
about success

196
00:09:31,632 --> 00:09:33,363
is that it doesn't just come to you.

197
00:09:33,732 --> 00:09:36,711
Most people associate success
with money and power,

198
00:09:37,049 --> 00:09:39,444
but really it's a state of mind.

199
00:09:41,944 --> 00:09:43,999
You had to be
on a motorcycle to say that?

200
00:09:45,098 --> 00:09:48,920
And when it comes to success the only
limit is that there are no limits.

201
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:53,009
I didn't know you knew how to stand
near a horse; that's impressive.

202
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:56,389
Barney, I don't get it. You don't do
a damn thing in any of these clips.

203
00:09:56,514 --> 00:09:59,164
Exactly. Because that's who
corporate American wants...

204
00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:02,053
people who seem
like bold risk takers,

205
00:10:02,178 --> 00:10:03,960
but never actually do anything.

206
00:10:04,180 --> 00:10:06,622
Actually doing things
gets you fired.

207
00:10:06,998 --> 00:10:09,899
In fact, I'm writing a book
on this very phenomenon.

208
00:10:10,069 --> 00:10:11,235
Really?

209
00:10:11,404 --> 00:10:13,904
No, that would be doing some...
Are you even listening?

210
00:10:15,636 --> 00:10:18,412
All my life, I have dared to go

211
00:10:18,676 --> 00:10:20,359
past what is possible.

212
00:10:20,814 --> 00:10:22,744
To the impossible?

213
00:10:23,251 --> 00:10:24,945
Actually, past that...

214
00:10:25,462 --> 00:10:29,321
to the place where the possible
and the impossible meet

215
00:10:29,446 --> 00:10:30,337
to become...

216
00:10:31,690 --> 00:10:32,903
the possimpible.

217
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:36,194
The possimpible?
Really?

218
00:10:36,319 --> 00:10:39,341
Inventing your own word shows
creativity and vision...

219
00:10:40,069 --> 00:10:41,431
"Vizha-tivity."

220
00:10:43,633 --> 00:10:46,853
If I can leave you
with one thought, it's this:

221
00:10:47,883 --> 00:10:48,883
Nothing...

222
00:10:49,319 --> 00:10:50,600
and everything...

223
00:10:51,399 --> 00:10:52,734
is possimpible.

224
00:10:56,050 --> 00:10:57,572
<i>That guy's awesome</i>

225
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,013
Is that you agai...?

226
00:10:59,323 --> 00:11:01,618
Are you singing a song
about yourself?

227
00:11:01,882 --> 00:11:04,455
Absolutely not.
That would be lame.

228
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,833
<i>Stinson, Barney Stinson</i>

229
00:11:08,024 --> 00:11:10,039
<i>singing this song</i>

230
00:11:10,164 --> 00:11:11,712
<i>That would be really lame</i>

231
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:15,880
<i>One of the many admirers
who think that guy's awesome</i>

232
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,801
<i>Perfect and available</i>

233
00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:21,054
<i>Awesome, awesome, awesome,
awesome, awesome, awesome...</i>

234
00:11:21,517 --> 00:11:24,057
<i>Awesome, awesome</i>

235
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:41,658
That baby got me 11 job offers.

236
00:11:43,028 --> 00:11:43,994
No way.

237
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:46,258
Barney, that was
ridiculous and insane.

238
00:11:46,395 --> 00:11:47,556
Insane-ulous.

239
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,084
- Make me one.
- What?

240
00:11:51,272 --> 00:11:54,379
- Yes, now you're talking.
- What? I'm about to be deported.

241
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,215
- I'll try anything.
- Okay, we better get started.

242
00:11:57,398 --> 00:12:00,587
There's a lot to shoot, I can't use any
of the footage I already have of you.

243
00:12:00,712 --> 00:12:03,067
What footage do you
already have of me?

244
00:12:03,676 --> 00:12:05,234
Let's just get started.

245
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:11,396
Sweetie. Are you still upset about
the dancer's hip jokes?

246
00:12:14,220 --> 00:12:17,318
We were just kidding.
We all know it's a basketball injury.

247
00:12:17,488 --> 00:12:18,814
Yeah, totally.

248
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:25,327
- I have something I need to tell you.
- What is it?

249
00:12:27,130 --> 00:12:29,027
I dance more than you know.

250
00:12:30,623 --> 00:12:31,375
What?

251
00:12:32,486 --> 00:12:33,519
I dance...

252
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,013
more than you know.

253
00:12:38,721 --> 00:12:40,998
I don't know how to respond to that.

254
00:12:44,325 --> 00:12:46,916
What does being
a reporter mean to you?

255
00:12:47,786 --> 00:12:50,496
- Well, ever since I was a little kid...
- Cut!

256
00:12:51,595 --> 00:12:53,723
You're getting bogged down
in specifics.

257
00:12:53,848 --> 00:12:56,652
I need you to just say vague,

258
00:12:56,777 --> 00:13:00,028
confident-sounding buzzwords,
like "synergy" and "dynamism".

259
00:13:00,619 --> 00:13:03,305
You can make up a word, like...
"linkativity."

260
00:13:03,859 --> 00:13:06,868
How will sounding like an idiot
get me hired anywhere?

261
00:13:07,227 --> 00:13:08,745
Okay, fine.
Don't do it.

262
00:13:09,382 --> 00:13:12,539
Anyway, there are plenty of exciting
stories to cover back in Canada.

263
00:13:12,664 --> 00:13:15,167
I just read that
the mayor of Winnipeg's nephew

264
00:13:15,292 --> 00:13:18,043
went ice fishing and caught
himself a 16-pound walleye.

265
00:13:18,168 --> 00:13:21,763
Reporting live from the worst place
in the world, I'm Robin Scherbatsky.

266
00:13:23,112 --> 00:13:24,539
Fine. Roll camera.

267
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,434
- Connectitude.
- Love it.

268
00:13:31,241 --> 00:13:32,727
Transformatation.

269
00:13:32,922 --> 00:13:33,728
Earn it!

270
00:13:33,922 --> 00:13:34,938
Linkativity.

271
00:13:36,169 --> 00:13:37,850
Yeah, linkativity's mine.

272
00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:44,156
So, how much dancing
are we talking about?

273
00:13:44,325 --> 00:13:45,780
I don't... I guess

274
00:13:46,152 --> 00:13:47,152
I'd say...

275
00:13:48,021 --> 00:13:49,032
medium.

276
00:13:49,957 --> 00:13:52,414
Why are you dancing so much,
and why don't I know about it?

277
00:13:53,025 --> 00:13:56,363
It's something I do when I'm alone.
Like if something good happens,

278
00:13:56,488 --> 00:13:58,400
I get excited and I need
to move, and I just...

279
00:13:58,525 --> 00:14:00,796
I don't know. I don't want
to even talk about this anymore.

280
00:14:02,803 --> 00:14:04,759
So that's how you injured your hip?

281
00:14:06,862 --> 00:14:09,742
Hey, did you hear?
They're giving us a half day today.

282
00:14:09,867 --> 00:14:11,284
We can leave at 2:00.

283
00:14:12,234 --> 00:14:13,928
Great!
Thanks, Herm.

284
00:14:24,444 --> 00:14:26,030
These costumes are ridiculous.

285
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,325
Plus, the Amazon Warrior
Princess armor gave me a rash.

286
00:14:29,932 --> 00:14:33,058
Cards on the table. You weren't
the first lady to wear that in here.

287
00:14:33,183 --> 00:14:35,415
But it conveyed power.
And so will this.

288
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:37,222
What I need you to do now...

289
00:14:37,347 --> 00:14:39,307
is break these 15 bricks
with your forehead.

290
00:14:39,432 --> 00:14:40,186
What?

291
00:14:40,311 --> 00:14:42,248
But you didn't do a damn thing
in your video.

292
00:14:42,373 --> 00:14:45,413
You just stood near a horse
and sat on a motorcycle.

293
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,125
That's because I'm a man.

294
00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:49,888
You're a woman. The assumption
is that you can't do anything.

295
00:14:50,314 --> 00:14:52,265
But you have to prove society wrong.

296
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:55,435
I can't break 15 bricks
with my forehead.

297
00:14:57,445 --> 00:14:59,898
It's not 1950 anymore.
Yes, you can.

298
00:15:01,144 --> 00:15:03,109
- I'm out of here.
- What? Why?

299
00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:05,130
None of this is going to help me
get a job.

300
00:15:05,255 --> 00:15:07,685
I'm about to get kicked out
of the country.

301
00:15:09,005 --> 00:15:10,325
I know what I have to do.

302
00:15:13,904 --> 00:15:16,026
Is this where the Lottery Girl
auditions are?

303
00:15:16,151 --> 00:15:17,574
Yeah, right here.

304
00:15:21,284 --> 00:15:23,545
<i>So, your Aunt Robin
had reached her low point.</i>

305
00:15:24,070 --> 00:15:26,508
<i>She was auditioning to be
the Lottery Girl.</i>

306
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:29,176
And tonight's Lotto numbers are...

307
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:32,001
Hold it. Say the line
before you press the button.

308
00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:34,699
- It builds the suspense.
- It builds the suspense.

309
00:15:37,385 --> 00:15:39,487
And tonight's Lotto numbers are...

310
00:15:43,479 --> 00:15:44,401
seventeen...

311
00:15:44,574 --> 00:15:46,024
- Stop her.
- Hold it.

312
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,202
Why did she say it like that?

313
00:15:48,327 --> 00:15:51,115
It's like she's not even happy
about the 17 coming up.

314
00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:53,202
She seems mean.

315
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:55,009
Yeah, she seems super-mean.

316
00:15:55,765 --> 00:15:57,747
Can you take
another run at "17" for us?

317
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:00,750
Seventeen.

318
00:16:01,817 --> 00:16:03,955
I don't even understand
what she's doing.

319
00:16:05,208 --> 00:16:06,626
Let me try something.

320
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:09,647
Try being a little more wry.

321
00:16:10,705 --> 00:16:13,138
Wry?
About the number 17?

322
00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:15,234
Wry, with a little bit of a...

323
00:16:15,647 --> 00:16:17,155
- Twinkle.
- ... twinkle.

324
00:16:18,396 --> 00:16:19,561
Seventeen.

325
00:16:21,798 --> 00:16:22,981
That was great!

326
00:16:24,708 --> 00:16:28,704
I got you a light beer. I know how you
dancers are always counting calories.

327
00:16:29,135 --> 00:16:30,899
It's not funny, all right?
The doctor says

328
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,025
if it gets any worse,
I might need surgery.

329
00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:35,139
Vaginal rejuvenation surgery?

330
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,388
You know who didn't do a lot of
operating on vaginas in college?

331
00:16:38,513 --> 00:16:39,539
- Who?
- Dr. X.

332
00:16:39,853 --> 00:16:41,458
He did just fine!

333
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,305
You know what?
Both of you geniuses

334
00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:46,649
need to take that weak-ass
crap off your <i>résumés</i>.

335
00:16:46,774 --> 00:16:49,295
I mean, you are not Dr. X anymore,

336
00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:51,152
and you cannot dunk anymore.

337
00:16:51,694 --> 00:16:52,530
Let it go.

338
00:16:52,655 --> 00:16:54,779
So Marshall and I are the only
people at this table

339
00:16:54,904 --> 00:16:56,890
with "weak-ass crap" on their <i>résumés</i>.

340
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:58,350
What are you implying?

341
00:17:00,646 --> 00:17:01,567
I don't know!

342
00:17:01,692 --> 00:17:05,689
Does the date July 4, 1995
mean anything to you?

343
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,387
You son of a bitch.

344
00:17:12,196 --> 00:17:13,219
Time!

345
00:17:13,344 --> 00:17:15,596
And the new champion,
with 29 hot dogs,

346
00:17:15,721 --> 00:17:18,257
Lily "The Belly" Aldrin.

347
00:17:24,248 --> 00:17:26,711
How is that relevant
to teaching kindergarten?

348
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,618
It teaches kids that...

349
00:17:29,010 --> 00:17:32,230
I can eat a lot of
hot dogs very quickly.

350
00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:34,100
Yeah, but you can't do it anymore!

351
00:17:34,225 --> 00:17:36,377
You can't dunk anymore, Ladyhips!

352
00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:38,682
How dare you!
These hips can...

353
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:40,039
Guys, guys!

354
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,852
I didn't even get
the Lotto Girl gig.

355
00:17:44,629 --> 00:17:46,481
I have to move back to Canada.

356
00:17:48,355 --> 00:17:49,609
I can't believe this.

357
00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:54,072
I remember the night
before I moved down here.

358
00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:56,408
They threw
a going-away party for me.

359
00:17:57,232 --> 00:18:00,620
They gave me a camera so I could
take pictures and send them home.

360
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:06,032
And everyone was so sure
I was gonna be such a big success.

361
00:18:08,689 --> 00:18:10,648
I'm really gonna miss you guys.

362
00:18:13,672 --> 00:18:14,753
What happened?

363
00:18:15,546 --> 00:18:17,470
Robin has to move back to Canada.

364
00:18:17,798 --> 00:18:19,219
Oh, my God. How awful.

365
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:23,101
I mean, for one thing
it's gonna be a really long commute.

366
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:24,927
What do you mean?

367
00:18:25,052 --> 00:18:26,989
I finished your video resume
on my own.

368
00:18:27,114 --> 00:18:29,274
Messengered it to every station
in the city.

369
00:18:29,427 --> 00:18:31,301
A guy from Channel Eight called.

370
00:18:31,426 --> 00:18:32,551
He loved you.

371
00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:34,489
He wanted you to come in
and audition.

372
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:35,488
My God!

373
00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:36,614
I told him no.

374
00:18:36,739 --> 00:18:38,803
Robin Scherbatsky doesn't audition.

375
00:18:38,928 --> 00:18:40,742
He gives you the job or nothing.

376
00:18:40,913 --> 00:18:43,580
- So I got the job?
- No. He cursed me out and hung up.

377
00:18:45,681 --> 00:18:47,492
But then Channel 12 called.

378
00:18:47,617 --> 00:18:49,556
They also loved you.

379
00:18:49,681 --> 00:18:52,921
They offered you a job hosting
their new morning talk show.

380
00:18:53,556 --> 00:18:55,800
- Barney, that's amazing!
- I told them to shove it.

381
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:59,160
- Dude!
- Which only made them want you more.

382
00:18:59,475 --> 00:19:01,909
So, they jacked up their offer
by ten percent.

383
00:19:02,034 --> 00:19:03,434
Congratulations.

384
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,893
It looks like
you're gonna have to stay.

385
00:19:13,172 --> 00:19:15,811
- You're not about to dance, are you?
- I'm good.

386
00:19:15,936 --> 00:19:17,025
I'll do it later.

387
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:21,396
How did you pull this off?

388
00:19:21,849 --> 00:19:23,953
I am the master of the possimpible.

389
00:19:24,447 --> 00:19:25,648
You really are.

390
00:19:26,350 --> 00:19:27,207
Thank you.

391
00:19:30,004 --> 00:19:33,129
<i>So, thanks to your Uncle Barney,
we got to keep your Aunt Robin.</i>

392
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:46,184
<i>And the rest of us decided
it was time to let some things go.</i>

393
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,613
<i>Well, except for Lily.</i>

394
00:19:52,738 --> 00:19:55,902
You got this.
And... time!

395
00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:57,545
What's the count?

396
00:19:58,414 --> 00:19:59,446
Thirty-three!

397
00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:33,773
Why is no one coming
to my Happenings?
Uploaded by Alooloo
Ali-rabeh@hotmail.com