1 00:00:05,622 --> 00:00:08,057 Kids, Barney and Robin's wedding turned out 2 00:00:08,059 --> 00:00:10,426 To be a life-changing weekend for all of us. 3 00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:12,227 Well, not just us. 4 00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,963 One ticket to Farhampton, please. 5 00:00:13,965 --> 00:00:15,831 But I'll get to that. 6 00:00:17,068 --> 00:00:19,468 Who are you honking at? You. 7 00:00:19,470 --> 00:00:21,437 You're going 40 in a 65. 8 00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:23,672 Pick it up, grandma! 9 00:00:23,674 --> 00:00:25,674 Look, I'm happy to rock it up into the 50s, 10 00:00:25,676 --> 00:00:29,244 But I'm gonna need a hand... Or two. 11 00:00:29,246 --> 00:00:31,447 Oh, no. Not the driving gloves. 12 00:00:31,449 --> 00:00:33,082 In 99.9% of highway accidents, 13 00:00:33,084 --> 00:00:35,417 The driver was not wearing gloves. 14 00:00:35,419 --> 00:00:36,618 Because they're stupid. 15 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,153 They don't help you drive better. 16 00:00:38,155 --> 00:00:40,022 That's why no one wears them. 17 00:00:40,024 --> 00:00:43,125 Then why is it called... The glove compartment? 18 00:00:43,127 --> 00:00:45,294 I am not having this argument again. 19 00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:48,030 Now, as you know, a Mosby road trip is not only safe, 20 00:00:48,032 --> 00:00:49,031 But informative. 21 00:00:49,033 --> 00:00:51,266 Chiggedy-check it. 22 00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,302 Manhattan to Farhampton: 23 00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:56,705 Lil' and Ted's excellent adventure? 24 00:00:56,707 --> 00:00:58,540 That baby's stuffed to the rings with fun facts 25 00:00:58,542 --> 00:01:00,943 About our unsung neighbor to the east... long island. 26 00:01:00,945 --> 00:01:03,312 For instance, just up ahead, the historic 27 00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:05,481 Childhood home of florian van otterloop, 28 00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:06,815 The dutch bucklesmith 29 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,817 Who revolutionized the belt industry. 30 00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:10,819 Uh, fun story about that color-blind genius. 31 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,187 When he... Please stop! 32 00:01:12,189 --> 00:01:14,990 Well, I was just gonna slow down for pictures, 33 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:18,127 But that level of enthusiasm can't go unrewarded. 34 00:01:34,878 --> 00:01:37,046 Hmm. 35 00:01:37,048 --> 00:01:39,314 Oh, look at my little cousins 36 00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:41,016 In their flower girl dresses. 37 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,419 Aw, they'll look so cute next to the ring bear. 38 00:01:43,421 --> 00:01:44,820 Yeah. 39 00:01:44,822 --> 00:01:47,990 Wait, you said ring bear-er, right? 40 00:01:47,992 --> 00:01:49,825 Ring bear. 41 00:01:49,827 --> 00:01:51,260 Ring bear-er. 42 00:01:51,262 --> 00:01:52,928 Ring bear. 43 00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:55,164 Are you planning some crazy stunt 44 00:01:55,166 --> 00:01:57,833 With a dangerous wild animal at our wedding? 45 00:01:57,835 --> 00:01:59,034 Because... 46 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,402 Oh, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 47 00:02:00,404 --> 00:02:01,904 Oh, boy. 48 00:02:01,906 --> 00:02:03,072 My brother wants to know 49 00:02:03,074 --> 00:02:05,574 What time he "goes on" at the reception. 50 00:02:05,576 --> 00:02:07,042 What does that mean? 51 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:11,246 Every wedding he attends, James insists on... Performing. 52 00:02:11,248 --> 00:02:13,282 ♪ Islands in the stream 53 00:02:13,284 --> 00:02:15,417 ♪ that is what we are 54 00:02:15,419 --> 00:02:18,020 ♪ no one in between... 55 00:02:18,022 --> 00:02:19,621 So? What do you got against k-rodge? 56 00:02:19,623 --> 00:02:21,090 Everybody loves the gambler. 57 00:02:21,092 --> 00:02:22,891 Wait for it. 58 00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:25,427 ♪ How can we be wrong? 59 00:02:25,429 --> 00:02:29,731 ♪ Sail away with me to another world ♪ 60 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:34,036 ♪ and we rely on each other, uh-huh! ♪ 61 00:02:34,038 --> 00:02:36,038 That is nothing. 62 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,907 I have invited Scherbatskys from all over Canada, 63 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,275 And they are canuckin' nuts. 64 00:02:40,277 --> 00:02:42,711 Like my cousin ruth from the yukon. 65 00:02:42,713 --> 00:02:45,080 I don't like to encourage Canadian stereotypes, 66 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:48,283 But that woman practically rides a moose. 67 00:02:50,054 --> 00:02:51,386 Does she actually ride a moose? 68 00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:52,387 Yeah. 69 00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:53,989 And, uh, 70 00:02:53,991 --> 00:02:55,991 I'm worried she'll bring it to the wedding. 71 00:02:55,993 --> 00:03:00,028 She and the moose are... Very close. 72 00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:02,998 Whoa. 73 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,401 Every wedding's got a wild card, but we've invited a whole set. 74 00:03:14,978 --> 00:03:17,079 Someone is gonna ruin this wedding. 75 00:03:17,081 --> 00:03:21,016 It's just a question of... Who. 76 00:03:21,018 --> 00:03:24,086 I'm gonna ruin this wedding! 77 00:03:24,088 --> 00:03:25,454 My wife is gonna kill me! 78 00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:27,589 Flight attendants prepare for departure. 79 00:03:27,591 --> 00:03:29,858 We were gonna move to Italy for her dream job, 80 00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:32,194 So I brought my son here to Minnesota 81 00:03:32,196 --> 00:03:34,563 To see my mom before we left. 82 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,667 And then I got offered a job as a judge 83 00:03:38,669 --> 00:03:41,069 In New York City, which is my dream. 84 00:03:42,372 --> 00:03:43,939 But that'll totally destroy her dream! 85 00:03:43,941 --> 00:03:46,341 You are destroying a lot of dreams right now. 86 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,854 Wait. 87 00:03:58,856 --> 00:04:00,923 If I got this... 88 00:04:08,732 --> 00:04:09,965 Aren't you gonna check that? 89 00:04:09,967 --> 00:04:11,366 No. 90 00:04:11,368 --> 00:04:13,402 It-it's just another obnoxious update 91 00:04:13,404 --> 00:04:14,403 From Marshall's mom. 92 00:04:14,405 --> 00:04:15,404 She's been posting 93 00:04:15,406 --> 00:04:18,040 These "cute" baby pics of Marvin, 94 00:04:18,042 --> 00:04:20,842 But it's all just propaganda. 95 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,477 First, it was "don't move to Italy." 96 00:04:23,813 --> 00:04:26,081 Followed by an extremely subtle guilt trip. 97 00:04:28,985 --> 00:04:31,987 And then, randomly preachy. 98 00:04:31,989 --> 00:04:33,155 Nah, not looking. 99 00:04:33,157 --> 00:04:34,823 It's just gonna piss me off. 100 00:04:34,825 --> 00:04:36,491 Why are we exiting again? 101 00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,060 Well, if you turn in your binder 102 00:04:38,062 --> 00:04:39,661 To the section labeled "mennonite windmills..." 103 00:04:39,663 --> 00:04:40,903 Get back on the expressway now. 104 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:44,933 The expressway's for gloveless amateurs. 105 00:04:44,935 --> 00:04:46,101 I'm done. 106 00:04:46,103 --> 00:04:47,936 There's a train station coming up; just drop me off. 107 00:04:47,938 --> 00:04:49,905 Okay, but some newfangled train's not gonna stop 108 00:04:49,907 --> 00:04:52,174 At the 40-foot-tall butter churn in ronkonkoma! 109 00:04:52,176 --> 00:04:55,711 Yes, but unlike any of your 18th-century stops, 110 00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:59,047 At least the train will have a 21st-century toilet! 111 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,549 You're a 21st-century toilet! 112 00:05:01,619 --> 00:05:02,618 Train now! 113 00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:04,419 Fine! 114 00:05:04,421 --> 00:05:07,522 Okay, so far, I've got 12 wild cards, 115 00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:08,924 Not counting the ring bear. 116 00:05:08,926 --> 00:05:10,025 Ring bear-er. 117 00:05:10,027 --> 00:05:11,260 Oh, oh, here's another one. 118 00:05:11,262 --> 00:05:13,762 You know how I found out that I'm one-quarter Canadian 119 00:05:13,764 --> 00:05:14,930 But I've completely blocked that out 120 00:05:14,932 --> 00:05:16,698 Because your nation's ridiculous and I'm awesome? 121 00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:17,766 Sure. 122 00:05:17,768 --> 00:05:19,901 Well, turns out, I have a crazy cousin Mitch 123 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,136 On that side of the family. 124 00:05:21,138 --> 00:05:22,104 That's funny. 125 00:05:22,106 --> 00:05:23,939 I have a crazy cousin Mitch, too. 126 00:05:23,941 --> 00:05:25,941 But I guarantee he is crazier than yours. 127 00:05:25,943 --> 00:05:28,243 He built his own house from timber he chopped down 128 00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:30,045 From other people's houses. 129 00:05:30,047 --> 00:05:31,380 That's funny. 130 00:05:31,382 --> 00:05:32,948 My cousin Mitch is a lumberjack. 131 00:05:32,950 --> 00:05:35,751 Except mine has six fingers. 132 00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:37,052 On one hand or total? 133 00:05:37,054 --> 00:05:38,053 Total. 134 00:05:39,055 --> 00:05:40,989 Are truckers always beating him up? 135 00:05:40,991 --> 00:05:42,891 Yes, because he has to... 136 00:05:42,893 --> 00:05:43,992 ...Hitchhike with his middle finger. 137 00:05:43,994 --> 00:05:46,795 Wait. 138 00:05:46,797 --> 00:05:49,164 Is it possible that we're... 139 00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:54,336 Could... C-could... Could we be...? 140 00:05:54,338 --> 00:05:55,837 Shh... 141 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,443 Ranjit, could you be a dear and pull over for a second? 142 00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:03,979 Pulling over! 143 00:06:10,854 --> 00:06:12,754 All right, train. 144 00:06:12,756 --> 00:06:15,924 Let's show your critics you're not just a dumpster on wheels 145 00:06:15,926 --> 00:06:17,426 Full of drunk idiots. 146 00:06:17,428 --> 00:06:19,761 We're being held at this station 147 00:06:19,763 --> 00:06:21,096 Until further notice. 148 00:06:21,098 --> 00:06:23,165 I got to sober up. 149 00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:38,947 Eriksen residence, judy speaking. 150 00:06:38,949 --> 00:06:40,315 Why did you post that judge photo? 151 00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:42,017 Because I'm guilty... 152 00:06:42,019 --> 00:06:45,020 Of being one proud mama! 153 00:06:45,022 --> 00:06:46,955 Lily doesn't know that I took the job, 154 00:06:46,957 --> 00:06:48,357 So if she sees it, I'm dead. 155 00:06:48,359 --> 00:06:49,524 Just take it down, okay? 156 00:06:49,526 --> 00:06:50,559 Fine. 157 00:06:50,561 --> 00:06:53,028 Let me just get on the online 158 00:06:53,030 --> 00:06:54,563 So I can internet. 159 00:06:54,565 --> 00:06:57,065 I love the lingo! 160 00:06:59,069 --> 00:07:00,836 Look, mom, just-just... 161 00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:02,971 Click on the photo on your wall, 162 00:07:02,973 --> 00:07:05,640 And then under "menu," click on "options." 163 00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,876 Some kind of advertisement popped on. 164 00:07:07,878 --> 00:07:09,478 Oh, my. 165 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:12,180 That appears to be pornography. 166 00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,182 Just click on "options." 167 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,885 It's men with other men. 168 00:07:16,887 --> 00:07:17,986 Just click on "options"! 169 00:07:17,988 --> 00:07:19,087 Excuse me! 170 00:07:19,089 --> 00:07:20,856 Are there any other seats left on this plane? 171 00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:21,890 No. 172 00:07:21,892 --> 00:07:23,024 Hell, I've been going to pilates. 173 00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,093 I can just hang on to the landing gear like this. 174 00:07:25,095 --> 00:07:26,094 Sorry, ma'am. 175 00:07:26,096 --> 00:07:28,196 I only signed up for pilates, 176 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,899 I haven't actually started going yet. 177 00:07:30,901 --> 00:07:32,801 I didn't sign up. 178 00:07:34,937 --> 00:07:36,238 No, I'm not looking. 179 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,241 I don't need to see my child used against me. 180 00:07:39,243 --> 00:07:43,211 My sweet, beautiful child who I haven't seen in a week... 181 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:46,915 Whose head smells like love and unicorn teardrops, 182 00:07:46,917 --> 00:07:48,884 And why are trains so lonely?! 183 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:49,885 Damn it, I'm looking! 184 00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,219 Hey, are you okay? 185 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,088 You look stressed. 186 00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:53,955 Plus, you muttered 187 00:07:53,957 --> 00:07:55,424 A few words out loud. 188 00:07:55,426 --> 00:07:57,359 I heard "lonely" and "unicorn," 189 00:07:57,361 --> 00:07:58,894 Which actually gave me a great idea 190 00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,530 For a children's book, so thank you. 191 00:08:01,532 --> 00:08:03,131 Are you okay? 192 00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:04,766 No. 193 00:08:04,768 --> 00:08:06,701 But there's nothing you can do. 194 00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:07,903 Do you want a cookie? 195 00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:09,371 Yes. 196 00:08:09,373 --> 00:08:10,539 Yes, I do. 197 00:08:10,541 --> 00:08:11,873 Wow. 198 00:08:11,875 --> 00:08:12,908 You just took a cookie 199 00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:14,643 From a complete stranger on a train. 200 00:08:14,645 --> 00:08:15,977 I like how trusting you are. 201 00:08:15,979 --> 00:08:17,879 There could be drugs or poison in there. 202 00:08:17,881 --> 00:08:19,481 But there's not, is there? 203 00:08:19,483 --> 00:08:20,949 No idea, I found them under my seat. 204 00:08:20,951 --> 00:08:21,950 No! 205 00:08:21,952 --> 00:08:23,418 Kidding! Sorry! 206 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,720 You looked stressed, so I thought you could use a cookie, 207 00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:27,255 Then I thought you could use a joke. 208 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,990 I should have stopped at the cookie. 209 00:08:28,992 --> 00:08:29,891 You know what? 210 00:08:29,893 --> 00:08:31,993 I don't care if these are poisoned. 211 00:08:31,995 --> 00:08:33,428 There's chocolate and peanut butter 212 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,130 And caramel in these sumbitches. 213 00:08:35,132 --> 00:08:37,566 I call them "sumbitches"! 214 00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:39,768 And that's how Lily 215 00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:41,169 Met your mother. 216 00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:44,573 Are cousin Mitch and I directly related? 217 00:08:44,575 --> 00:08:46,074 No, mom, I'm asking 218 00:08:46,076 --> 00:08:48,143 Is cousin Mitch a blood relative? 219 00:08:48,145 --> 00:08:49,511 I'm not asking about cousin pete, 220 00:08:49,513 --> 00:08:51,012 I'm asking about cousin Robin! 221 00:08:51,014 --> 00:08:52,013 Mitch! 222 00:08:52,015 --> 00:08:52,914 Cousin Mitch! 223 00:08:52,916 --> 00:08:54,249 Well, just find out from uncle frank 224 00:08:54,251 --> 00:08:55,250 And call me back! 225 00:08:55,252 --> 00:08:56,852 Well, then, go visit cousin cecil 226 00:08:56,854 --> 00:08:59,020 At his sky-diving school and ask him! 227 00:08:59,022 --> 00:09:01,890 Oh, god, he did? 228 00:09:02,992 --> 00:09:04,125 Well, I guess that can happen 229 00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,794 No matter how experienced you are. 230 00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:07,662 I'm so sorry. 231 00:09:08,866 --> 00:09:10,866 My cousin cecil... 232 00:09:10,868 --> 00:09:12,133 Got fired. 233 00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,368 Oh. 234 00:09:13,370 --> 00:09:14,870 That's a relief. 235 00:09:14,872 --> 00:09:17,073 He was so distraught, he jumped off a bridge; he's dead. 236 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:21,243 Um... I'm so sorry for your loss. 237 00:09:22,211 --> 00:09:25,580 It may be our loss. 238 00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:29,784 Just click on "options"! 239 00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:32,787 All I see is a man holding a bratwurst! 240 00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,055 Oh. 241 00:09:34,057 --> 00:09:36,658 No, the pornography's back. 242 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,501 I said, please turn off all electronic devices. 243 00:09:39,729 --> 00:09:41,329 Oh. 244 00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:43,665 This isn't an electronic device. 245 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,400 This is actually a toy. 246 00:09:45,402 --> 00:09:47,035 For my son. 247 00:09:48,037 --> 00:09:49,671 We call it phone-y. 248 00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:51,640 I call you phony. 249 00:09:51,642 --> 00:09:54,843 We can't take off till you hang up. 250 00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,745 Okay, enough. Give me that phone! 251 00:09:56,747 --> 00:09:58,013 Just click on "options." 252 00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:59,414 I don't see it! 253 00:09:59,416 --> 00:10:01,483 I said, give me the phone! 254 00:10:01,485 --> 00:10:02,651 Just click on "options"! 255 00:10:02,653 --> 00:10:04,252 Stop yelling at me! 256 00:10:04,254 --> 00:10:05,420 Just click on "options." 257 00:10:05,422 --> 00:10:06,421 Give me the phone. 258 00:10:06,423 --> 00:10:07,689 Click on "options"! 259 00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,758 Click on... I have a baby! 260 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,860 Please, I-I have to get to New York. 261 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,428 Yeah, well, you should have thought about that 262 00:10:13,430 --> 00:10:14,529 Before you attacked me. 263 00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:15,931 All right, boys, you got this? 264 00:10:15,933 --> 00:10:17,165 Good. 265 00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:19,000 Let's get this bird in the air. Ah, you're both 266 00:10:19,002 --> 00:10:20,468 Banned from this flight. 267 00:10:22,572 --> 00:10:25,407 So I was driving with my friend, who thinks he's 268 00:10:25,409 --> 00:10:26,942 "the road trip master." 269 00:10:26,944 --> 00:10:30,045 He has leather driving gloves. 270 00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,446 Who wears those? 271 00:10:31,448 --> 00:10:33,949 Huge dorks, that's who. 272 00:10:33,951 --> 00:10:34,950 Your mother was lying. 273 00:10:34,952 --> 00:10:37,118 She had her own pair. 274 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,553 And he always makes us stop 275 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:41,456 To see some weird roadside attraction 276 00:10:41,458 --> 00:10:44,859 No one except him gives a crap about. 277 00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:46,294 Nerd alert. 278 00:10:46,296 --> 00:10:48,029 Kids, you remember the seven-hour detour 279 00:10:48,031 --> 00:10:49,731 on our road trip to disney world 280 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,467 so your mother didn't miss that goat in South Carolina 281 00:10:52,469 --> 00:10:53,935 who could blow smoke rings. 282 00:10:53,937 --> 00:10:58,406 And he won't go one mile an hour over the speed limit. 283 00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,975 That would drive me crazy. 284 00:10:59,977 --> 00:11:02,944 I would give him a humiliating nickname 285 00:11:02,946 --> 00:11:05,814 Until he stopped driving like a little girl. 286 00:11:05,816 --> 00:11:08,383 It was "Lady Tedwina Slowsby." 287 00:11:08,385 --> 00:11:10,885 And it worked. 288 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:14,422 Okay, look, if it's true, if we are... 289 00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:17,125 You know. 290 00:11:17,127 --> 00:11:18,793 It's really not that big a deal. 291 00:11:18,795 --> 00:11:20,428 Okay, we-we know we won't have kids. 292 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,896 And even if we did, 293 00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,798 King joffrey's parents were brother and sister, 294 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,433 And he was a fair and wise leader. 295 00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,936 Yeah. Look, no one ever needs to know but us. 296 00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:28,770 Exactly. 297 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,139 I know. 298 00:11:32,475 --> 00:11:36,244 We might have to... 299 00:11:36,246 --> 00:11:38,346 Take care of ranjit. 300 00:11:38,348 --> 00:11:40,482 Hey, you just finished my... 301 00:11:40,484 --> 00:11:42,651 Creepy telepathic murder thought. 302 00:11:42,653 --> 00:11:45,920 Oh, it must be a soul mate thing. 303 00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:47,122 Unless... 304 00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:50,692 It's a weird cousin thing. 305 00:11:52,329 --> 00:11:55,096 So we'll be good either way, right? 306 00:11:55,098 --> 00:11:56,464 Honey? 307 00:11:56,466 --> 00:12:00,101 That's right... Sweetie. 308 00:12:00,103 --> 00:12:02,537 Now, get over here, you. 309 00:12:02,539 --> 00:12:05,940 Gah, just try and stop me. 310 00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:19,521 Aw. Ooh, ooh. 311 00:12:19,523 --> 00:12:21,489 Ooh, mmm, mmm, mmm. 312 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:22,991 Well, I can't wait till tonight. 313 00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:24,159 I have got some 314 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,493 Naughty-naughty-naughty things planned. 315 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,795 Aw. 316 00:12:26,797 --> 00:12:29,230 Oh, wow, you have certainly piqued my incest. 317 00:12:29,232 --> 00:12:30,532 Interest. Interest! 318 00:12:33,035 --> 00:12:36,004 I still can't believe he dragged me to the childhood home 319 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:39,307 Of some stupid bucklesmith no one's ever even heard of. 320 00:12:39,309 --> 00:12:41,843 Yeah, who cares about florian van otterloop? 321 00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:43,878 I never told you his name. 322 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,346 Sumbitch? 323 00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:48,183 I mean, why'd he have to act that way? 324 00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:50,919 He knows I hate how he gets on road trips. 325 00:12:50,921 --> 00:12:54,022 It almost seems like he wanted you to storm off. 326 00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:55,890 But we're going to the same place. 327 00:12:55,892 --> 00:12:58,993 There's no reason why he'd want to ditch me. 328 00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:01,396 And suddenly Lily remembered that a week ago, 329 00:13:01,398 --> 00:13:04,032 I'd helped Robin look for her long-lost locket. 330 00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:06,134 But it was gone. 331 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,207 Then Lily told me the locket actually got stashed 332 00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:15,009 In my pencil box, but when I opened it... 333 00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:17,045 The locket wasn't there. 334 00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:18,446 Good. 335 00:13:18,448 --> 00:13:19,581 'cause that locket's trouble. 336 00:13:19,583 --> 00:13:20,849 How? It's-it's just a friendly, 337 00:13:20,851 --> 00:13:22,016 Innocent wedding gift. 338 00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:23,017 It's not innocent. 339 00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,686 Ted, you think 340 00:13:24,688 --> 00:13:27,889 If you can get that locket for Robin you'll win her back. 341 00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:30,525 Lily, I've let it go. 342 00:13:35,598 --> 00:13:37,198 I mean... What? 343 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,767 There's, like, a one percent chance 344 00:13:38,769 --> 00:13:41,069 That stella has the locket from when we lived together. 345 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:43,404 Promise me you didn't call the woman who left you 346 00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:46,608 At the altar so that you could find that locket. 347 00:13:46,610 --> 00:13:47,809 Of course not. 348 00:13:47,811 --> 00:13:48,877 I e-mailed her. 349 00:13:48,879 --> 00:13:50,044 Ted. 350 00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,246 But stella's living in l.A. Now. 351 00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:52,380 And even if she has it, 352 00:13:52,382 --> 00:13:53,748 It's buried in some storage unit. 353 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,049 She said I'd have to fly out there 354 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,918 And look for it myself. 355 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,053 Promise me you aren't about to do that. 356 00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:00,822 I promise. 357 00:14:01,791 --> 00:14:03,057 Sumbitch! 358 00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:21,009 You better hope when sweaty finally gets off that phone, 359 00:14:21,011 --> 00:14:23,111 He can get me on the next flight to New York. 360 00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:25,346 I got the password from my mom. 361 00:14:25,348 --> 00:14:27,015 I'm gonna take that photo down myself. 362 00:14:27,017 --> 00:14:29,117 You know, I don't give a damn about your photo. 363 00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:31,452 My daughter is giving a big speech for the model u.N. 364 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,922 At her school, and I'm gonna miss it because of you. 365 00:14:36,827 --> 00:14:39,260 Her father and I are separated. 366 00:14:39,262 --> 00:14:40,695 She lives with her dad. 367 00:14:41,664 --> 00:14:44,098 And if I don't make it... 368 00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,968 She's never gonna trust me again. 369 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,103 I'm so sorry. 370 00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:50,872 Wow, that worked on you? 371 00:14:50,874 --> 00:14:53,608 Let's hope pit stains is as dumb as you are. 372 00:14:53,610 --> 00:14:55,176 What? Why is this so hard for my mom? 373 00:14:55,178 --> 00:14:56,177 All you do 374 00:14:56,179 --> 00:14:58,012 Is you click the photo, 375 00:14:58,014 --> 00:14:59,981 And then you click on the... 376 00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:02,817 I don't see... I don't see "options." 377 00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:04,953 Just click on "options." 378 00:15:04,955 --> 00:15:05,954 But where is it? 379 00:15:05,956 --> 00:15:06,988 Just click on "options." 380 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,456 Is it up on the toolbar? 381 00:15:08,458 --> 00:15:10,358 Just click on "options." it's not there! 382 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,428 Just click on "options"! 383 00:15:16,967 --> 00:15:18,733 Hi, grandma. 384 00:15:18,735 --> 00:15:21,069 You-you can explain how cousin Mitch is related to us? 385 00:15:21,071 --> 00:15:23,137 Explain, grandma, explain! 386 00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:25,073 Okay, he married Barney's dad's cousin Renee, 387 00:15:25,075 --> 00:15:26,674 Who he met selling vachon cakes 388 00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,077 Outside a curling bonspiel in chicoutimi. 389 00:15:29,079 --> 00:15:30,378 English, grandma, English! 390 00:15:30,380 --> 00:15:33,081 And on our side of the family, he was adopted 391 00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:34,883 Because his real parents were eaten alive 392 00:15:34,885 --> 00:15:36,017 By their sled dogs? 393 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:38,019 That's awesome! Thanks, grandma. 394 00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:41,656 So... 395 00:15:41,658 --> 00:15:44,225 So you and I share no dna whatsoever. 396 00:15:44,227 --> 00:15:46,361 Let's change that. 397 00:15:47,998 --> 00:15:49,764 Don't hold back. 398 00:15:49,766 --> 00:15:52,166 This divider is totally soundproof. 399 00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:55,536 Go all the way. 400 00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,005 Wait till the hotel? 401 00:15:57,007 --> 00:15:57,972 Totally. 402 00:15:58,941 --> 00:16:00,241 Hey, you know what? 403 00:16:00,243 --> 00:16:03,211 I'm not worried about a wild card at our wedding anymore. 404 00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:05,780 Whether it's uncle Vic or aunt Shelly 405 00:16:05,782 --> 00:16:06,848 Or the ring bear. 406 00:16:06,850 --> 00:16:08,416 Ring bear-er. Er. 407 00:16:08,418 --> 00:16:10,752 Whether any of those mammals go rogue, 408 00:16:10,754 --> 00:16:14,422 Our wedding is gonna be legendary. 409 00:16:15,424 --> 00:16:17,058 No "wait for it"? 410 00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,260 I've got you. 411 00:16:19,262 --> 00:16:21,963 I don't have to wait for it anymore. 412 00:16:36,646 --> 00:16:37,879 It's a long story, 413 00:16:37,881 --> 00:16:40,114 But if we don't beat my friend out to that wedding, 414 00:16:40,116 --> 00:16:41,416 It's gonna be bad. 415 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,885 This is too stressful. I-I need to see Marvin! 416 00:16:43,887 --> 00:16:46,054 No! You made me promise not to let you look, 417 00:16:46,056 --> 00:16:47,555 Because it's only gonna upset you. 418 00:16:47,557 --> 00:16:50,758 Here, have another sum... Bitch. 419 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,828 No more sumbitches?! 420 00:16:53,830 --> 00:16:55,496 Give me the damn phone! 421 00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:59,100 Just go to "edit" on the toolbar! 422 00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:00,468 No, "account settings"! 423 00:17:00,470 --> 00:17:02,070 Just click on "options." 424 00:17:02,072 --> 00:17:03,438 Stop! 425 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,140 It can't be done. 426 00:17:06,142 --> 00:17:09,143 That photo is etched in eternity. 427 00:17:09,145 --> 00:17:11,813 Long after humanity's reign has ended, 428 00:17:11,815 --> 00:17:13,848 The only traces of our civilization found 429 00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:15,416 By earth's new ape masters will be 430 00:17:15,418 --> 00:17:17,418 The top of the statue of liberty 431 00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:19,620 And this photo of me pretending to be 432 00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:23,291 A judge with a banana gavel. 433 00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:25,426 Well, they'll probably like the banana thing. 434 00:17:25,428 --> 00:17:27,061 The ape masters? 435 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,931 Sorry. Lily's gonna see it, 436 00:17:29,933 --> 00:17:32,600 And we're gonna have the biggest fight of our lives. 437 00:17:32,602 --> 00:17:36,037 Oh, I wish I could see your wife kick your ass. 438 00:17:36,039 --> 00:17:38,439 I don't mean a physical fight. 439 00:17:38,441 --> 00:17:39,540 She's not an animal. 440 00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:41,876 I'm sorry I tried to bite you. 441 00:17:41,878 --> 00:17:44,512 I'm sorry that I swatted you on the nose 442 00:17:44,514 --> 00:17:45,847 With a rolled-up magazine. 443 00:17:45,849 --> 00:17:48,182 It's the only way I'll learn. 444 00:17:50,719 --> 00:17:54,522 Look, I haven't seen my baby in a week. 445 00:17:54,524 --> 00:17:56,624 You know what? 446 00:17:56,626 --> 00:17:58,092 Go for it. 447 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,003 It's gone! 448 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,538 It's gone! 449 00:18:10,540 --> 00:18:11,672 You did it! 450 00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:14,475 You did it! 451 00:18:15,911 --> 00:18:18,312 No new insulting Marvin photo. 452 00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:20,081 Hmm. 453 00:18:20,083 --> 00:18:24,852 No new insulting Marvin photo. 454 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:27,388 I know I'm just a stranger on a train 455 00:18:27,390 --> 00:18:31,426 Who you tried to bite, but... Do you want a hug? 456 00:18:53,616 --> 00:18:56,250 Lily! What the hell?! 457 00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:02,090 Ted and I had some road trip issues. 458 00:19:02,092 --> 00:19:04,025 Did he put on the gloves? Mm-hmm. 459 00:19:04,027 --> 00:19:05,359 That tackle was justified. 460 00:19:06,295 --> 00:19:08,062 What's this? It's for you. 461 00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:09,864 Don't open it. 462 00:19:12,935 --> 00:19:15,069 With all the big changes coming up, 463 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:17,605 I just wanted Robin to remember her friends. 464 00:19:17,607 --> 00:19:20,408 We all want nothing but happiness for you and Barney. 465 00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,009 Right, Lily? 466 00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:24,879 Right. 467 00:19:24,881 --> 00:19:27,048 Oh, wow. 468 00:19:27,050 --> 00:19:28,282 That was, what, eight years ago? 469 00:19:28,284 --> 00:19:29,283 Yeah. 470 00:19:29,285 --> 00:19:31,319 Eight years. 471 00:19:32,287 --> 00:19:34,222 Thanks, Ted. 472 00:19:39,895 --> 00:19:42,630 I'm gonna... I'm gonna get checked in. 473 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:46,501 Marshall's flight just took off. 474 00:19:46,503 --> 00:19:48,102 My boys will be here soon. 475 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:50,071 Oh, yay. 476 00:19:50,073 --> 00:19:51,973 Actually, Lily's boys were just learning there was 477 00:19:51,975 --> 00:19:55,076 Only one more flight out to New York with one seat left, 478 00:19:55,078 --> 00:19:57,011 And it was all the way across the airport. 479 00:20:15,597 --> 00:20:17,698 You're not gonna tackle me again, are you? 480 00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,033 I'm the maid of honor. 481 00:20:19,035 --> 00:20:20,868 There's a good chance that won't be 482 00:20:20,870 --> 00:20:22,303 My only tackle of the weekend. 483 00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:23,938 It wasn't. 484 00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:26,140 Look, I'm sorry. 485 00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:28,976 I just got it in my head that you somehow managed 486 00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:30,978 To track down that locket in los angeles, 487 00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,980 And now you were gonna blow up the wedding. 488 00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:34,749 You really think I'm that crazy? 489 00:20:35,784 --> 00:20:38,219 I guess that's fair. 490 00:20:38,221 --> 00:20:42,156 Look, even though I was wrong, tell me you aren't thinking 491 00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,825 About doing anything insane this weekend. 492 00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:46,861 Of course not. 493 00:20:46,863 --> 00:20:49,463 And all I can say, kids, 494 00:20:49,465 --> 00:20:53,000 Is at that moment, I really thought I meant it. 495 00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:56,904 But the truth is... You never know 496 00:20:56,906 --> 00:20:58,973 who's gonna be the wild card at a wedding. 497 00:20:58,975 --> 00:21:06,975 Hi. One ticket to Los Angeles, please.