1 00:00:01,725 --> 00:00:03,859 It was the day of Barney and Robin's wedding, 2 00:00:03,867 --> 00:00:06,147 and a surprise guest had just arrived. 3 00:00:06,168 --> 00:00:08,635 Mom, I-I can't believe you're here. 4 00:00:08,651 --> 00:00:10,904 - How did you get here? - On a plane. 5 00:00:10,924 --> 00:00:13,944 With your fear of flying? What, did the plane drive here? 6 00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:18,719 I've made enormous strides since you last saw me, dear. 7 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,112 This is nice. 8 00:00:21,126 --> 00:00:23,279 I don't love flying, I must admit. 9 00:00:23,286 --> 00:00:26,518 I haven't been on a plane in years, but... maybe this 10 00:00:26,531 --> 00:00:29,117 - won't be such a bad... - Ladies and gentlemen, we are cleared for takeoff. 11 00:00:30,462 --> 00:00:33,869 We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die! 12 00:00:35,609 --> 00:00:39,418 During the flight, I'll admit, I-I had a few... 13 00:00:39,443 --> 00:00:42,832 difficult moments, but, you know, by the time we'd landed... 14 00:00:43,212 --> 00:00:44,579 Here already. 15 00:00:44,592 --> 00:00:49,091 Well, I have to say, it wasn't so dreadful after all. 16 00:00:49,110 --> 00:00:52,452 Oh, I do apologize if I caused any distress. 17 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:55,837 And, oh, I'm terribly sorry about the door. 18 00:00:55,857 --> 00:00:59,284 I had no idea it would fly off like that. 19 00:00:59,303 --> 00:01:03,133 Please, please send me a bill, because I'd like to replace it. 20 00:01:04,674 --> 00:01:07,197 I'll be taking the train home. 21 00:01:07,740 --> 00:01:11,740 ♪ How I Met Your Mother 9x20 ♪ Daisy Original Air Date on March 10, 2014 22 00:01:11,759 --> 00:01:16,759 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 23 00:01:23,195 --> 00:01:27,105 Well, it's official: I'm gonna be Judge Marshall Eriksen. 24 00:01:27,118 --> 00:01:29,089 That is great. 25 00:01:29,116 --> 00:01:31,277 Can you help me get a driver's license? 26 00:01:31,944 --> 00:01:33,031 A what? 27 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:36,201 Marshall, you, uh, you don't sound too excited to become a judge. 28 00:01:36,693 --> 00:01:38,008 I feel kind of guilty about it. 29 00:01:38,028 --> 00:01:40,409 I mean, I know how badly Lily wanted to move to Italy. 30 00:01:40,429 --> 00:01:43,093 Don't do this, bro. Classic mistake. 31 00:01:43,106 --> 00:01:44,843 You won-- enjoy it. 32 00:01:44,856 --> 00:01:48,038 Drink the blood of your vanquished enemy and move on. 33 00:01:48,068 --> 00:01:49,953 You're gonna be a great husband. 34 00:01:49,966 --> 00:01:52,003 No, no, wait, he has a point. 35 00:01:52,016 --> 00:01:54,196 I mean, you said yourself, it was her decision. 36 00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:56,021 Lily chose to give up her job 37 00:01:56,027 --> 00:01:57,801 and not move to Rome so you could be a judge. 38 00:01:57,821 --> 00:01:59,774 Yeah, but something seemed off. 39 00:01:59,793 --> 00:02:01,568 We had this big fight and she stormed out, 40 00:02:01,581 --> 00:02:04,782 and when she came back, she had totally, like, changed her mind. 41 00:02:04,804 --> 00:02:06,002 Wait, what time was this? 42 00:02:06,008 --> 00:02:08,455 A little after 3:00 a.m., Billy Zabka. Why? 43 00:02:08,474 --> 00:02:11,167 Well, last night, I was out doing some late-night dirt-biking in the sand. 44 00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:12,363 Naturally. Continue. 45 00:02:12,388 --> 00:02:15,500 And I ended up at that EZ Pick a few miles up the road. 46 00:02:15,522 --> 00:02:16,808 And, well... 47 00:02:24,476 --> 00:02:25,671 That's odd. 48 00:02:25,699 --> 00:02:27,966 Boo...! 49 00:02:28,461 --> 00:02:30,921 You saw Lily getting into someone's car? 50 00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:34,434 - I wonder who it was. - What did the license plate say? 51 00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:35,441 It said... 52 00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:37,135 "AHOY!!!" 53 00:02:37,664 --> 00:02:41,566 The Captain! Lily's boss. He has a house out here. 54 00:02:41,587 --> 00:02:45,005 Wait, why was Lily getting into the Captain's car at 3:00 in the morning? 55 00:02:45,591 --> 00:02:47,218 Guys... 56 00:02:47,239 --> 00:02:49,917 I hate to even say this, but... 57 00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:53,444 do you think it's possible... 58 00:02:54,472 --> 00:02:57,813 ...that I could eat six of these saltines in under a minute? 59 00:02:57,832 --> 00:02:59,590 Challenge accepted! 60 00:03:00,953 --> 00:03:03,949 Well, I can't wait to meet this Barney. 61 00:03:03,956 --> 00:03:06,540 I haven't met him already, have I? 62 00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:08,116 Because they said after getting Tasered, 63 00:03:08,123 --> 00:03:10,883 I might suffer from short-term memory loss. 64 00:03:10,911 --> 00:03:13,551 Oh, you'd remember if you'd met Barney. 65 00:03:13,564 --> 00:03:16,222 Why don't I see what he's doing right now? 66 00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:20,605 - Barney's phone. - Ted, where's Barney? 67 00:03:20,626 --> 00:03:22,653 He's trying to eat six saltines in under a minute. 68 00:03:22,666 --> 00:03:25,343 Well, his future mother-in-law is here. 69 00:03:25,361 --> 00:03:27,023 Robin's mom is here. 70 00:03:27,818 --> 00:03:29,198 And she wants to meet him. 71 00:03:29,223 --> 00:03:30,665 She wants to meet you. 72 00:03:32,618 --> 00:03:35,404 He's kind of in the middle of a saltine challenge at the moment. 73 00:03:37,101 --> 00:03:39,670 But as soon as he's done, he'll just, uh, pop right over. 74 00:03:39,683 --> 00:03:41,203 All right. Good-bye. 75 00:03:41,814 --> 00:03:43,794 The saltine challenge? Now? 76 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:47,318 It's his wedding day. Guys do weird things on their wedding day. 77 00:03:47,347 --> 00:03:48,600 Well, on my wedding day, 78 00:03:48,619 --> 00:03:52,707 Robin's father completely disappeared for about three hours. 79 00:03:52,714 --> 00:03:56,727 He just said, "I've got to go and teach somebody some manners," and off he went. 80 00:03:56,734 --> 00:03:58,654 And then three hours later, 81 00:03:58,678 --> 00:04:01,691 he emerged from the woods with a dead elk 82 00:04:01,704 --> 00:04:03,524 slung across his shoulder. 83 00:04:03,828 --> 00:04:07,535 And I didn't even know that there were elk in Bermuda. 84 00:04:08,006 --> 00:04:11,125 But this Barney-- he sounds like a fine young man. 85 00:04:11,138 --> 00:04:12,138 Yes, he is. 86 00:04:13,079 --> 00:04:14,502 We're going again. 87 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:16,300 Marshall, are you okay? 88 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,753 Why did she get into the Captain's car, and why didn't she tell me about it? 89 00:04:18,766 --> 00:04:22,034 - Well, maybe it was a work thing. - What? No. She has a big fight with me, 90 00:04:22,067 --> 00:04:24,859 she goes down to an EZ Pick, she gets into the Captain's Mercedes, 91 00:04:24,872 --> 00:04:27,832 and then three hours later, she doesn't want to go to Italy anymore? 92 00:04:27,853 --> 00:04:28,926 I mean, do you think this means... 93 00:04:28,945 --> 00:04:32,169 That the Captain moored his dinghy in Lily's lagoon? Most definitely. 94 00:04:32,185 --> 00:04:35,235 That's crazy. You'd never moor a dinghy in a lagoon. 95 00:04:35,248 --> 00:04:38,615 I don't know, Ted. In certain tidal conditions, if you had a protected inlet... 96 00:04:38,635 --> 00:04:41,588 Okay, you know what? It doesn't matter. Today is Barney's wedding. 97 00:04:41,608 --> 00:04:43,196 Let's just forget it. 98 00:04:44,622 --> 00:04:45,929 Marshall... 99 00:04:45,935 --> 00:04:48,075 do you want to go over to the Captain's house right now, 100 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:51,413 punch him in the face really fast and then come back and do this wedding? 101 00:04:54,867 --> 00:04:56,674 - Would that be okay? - Ranjit, get the car. 102 00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,462 Getting the car. 103 00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:01,031 Baby, I can't wait to meet your mom, 104 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:04,158 but I kind of got to go on a little excursion with the boys right now. 105 00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:06,038 What? Where are you going? 106 00:05:06,058 --> 00:05:09,418 Me and the boys have to go teach someone some manners. 107 00:05:12,551 --> 00:05:14,839 Are there any elk on Long Island? 108 00:05:19,256 --> 00:05:21,083 ♪ My gallant housekeeping crew ♪ 109 00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:22,223 ♪ Good morning. 110 00:05:22,246 --> 00:05:24,084 ♪ Sir! Good morning. 111 00:05:24,104 --> 00:05:26,297 ♪ I hope you are quite well. 112 00:05:26,304 --> 00:05:28,441 ♪ Quite well, and you, sir? 113 00:05:28,454 --> 00:05:30,141 ♪ I am in reasonable health. 114 00:05:30,161 --> 00:05:32,588 ♪ And happy to meet you all once.. ♪ 115 00:05:32,610 --> 00:05:34,376 Oh, bother it! 116 00:05:35,072 --> 00:05:36,299 I'll get it. 117 00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:41,674 Ahoy, Marshall! 118 00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,811 - Are you okay, Robin? - No, I'm not okay, 119 00:05:49,837 --> 00:05:53,624 because apparently, I am marrying my dad in a few hours. 120 00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:56,984 Oh, sweetie, no. I'm sure that's not true. 121 00:05:56,997 --> 00:06:00,157 I mean, th-there's so much you don't know about your father. 122 00:06:00,176 --> 00:06:04,030 There were... oh, there were so many other red flags in our marriage. 123 00:06:04,036 --> 00:06:08,051 I mean, for instance, do you know that before he was engaged to me, 124 00:06:08,649 --> 00:06:11,503 he was engaged to marry an exotic dancer? 125 00:06:11,555 --> 00:06:12,766 Hello! 126 00:06:12,797 --> 00:06:14,266 Red flag! 127 00:06:14,298 --> 00:06:16,345 Oh, Genevieve, not good. 128 00:06:16,364 --> 00:06:18,416 And did you know that one time, 129 00:06:18,830 --> 00:06:22,523 to impress women, he dressed up like a Prussian aristocrat, 130 00:06:22,542 --> 00:06:24,145 had a painting of himself made, 131 00:06:24,171 --> 00:06:26,631 and posed next to it in an art gallery? 132 00:06:27,131 --> 00:06:28,858 Can you imagine? 133 00:06:28,878 --> 00:06:30,817 Oh, that's a rough one. 134 00:06:30,837 --> 00:06:33,261 Darling, darling, the list goes on. 135 00:06:33,637 --> 00:06:36,244 He would always take his mother's side in arguments. 136 00:06:36,257 --> 00:06:38,517 He never checked with me before making plans. 137 00:06:38,537 --> 00:06:42,409 And our rehearsal dinner... oh, boy, did we have it out 138 00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:45,002 right before our rehearsal dinner! 139 00:06:47,531 --> 00:06:48,994 Thank you, Linus. 140 00:06:50,186 --> 00:06:52,543 For the first ten years I knew him, 141 00:06:52,556 --> 00:06:55,627 I didn't even know what your father did for a living. 142 00:06:55,659 --> 00:06:58,501 - Every time I used to ask him, he'd just say... - Please! 143 00:06:58,514 --> 00:07:01,813 Yes, that's exactly what he used to say. How did you know that? 144 00:07:03,073 --> 00:07:05,513 Heck of a jab, Marshall. Well-placed. 145 00:07:05,530 --> 00:07:09,681 Captain, I know something happened between you and Lily last night. 146 00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:10,661 What? 147 00:07:10,687 --> 00:07:12,160 No. Nothing happened. 148 00:07:12,183 --> 00:07:13,534 Captain's honor. 149 00:07:13,553 --> 00:07:15,128 Well, you can ask my fiancée. 150 00:07:15,152 --> 00:07:16,885 Fiancée? What-what fiancée? 151 00:07:16,905 --> 00:07:19,632 - Captain. Permission to clear things up? - Granted. 152 00:07:19,650 --> 00:07:21,990 Me. We're engaged. 153 00:07:22,013 --> 00:07:23,646 It's "boats, boats, boats"! 154 00:07:23,668 --> 00:07:25,722 - Ted, look! - Uh, yeah. 155 00:07:25,735 --> 00:07:27,889 I mean, yeah, I know her from that commercial. 156 00:07:27,902 --> 00:07:29,264 Boats, boats, boats! 157 00:07:29,293 --> 00:07:31,293 And only from that commercial. 158 00:07:31,306 --> 00:07:33,926 No, you banged her. Remember? 159 00:07:33,932 --> 00:07:35,186 Like, a bunch of times. 160 00:07:35,199 --> 00:07:37,216 You knocked "boots, boots, boots"" 161 00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:40,190 All right, Captain. What the hell happened here last night? 162 00:07:40,203 --> 00:07:41,659 Well, it was just after four bells. 163 00:07:43,127 --> 00:07:43,911 Ahoy! 164 00:07:43,917 --> 00:07:46,750 Hi, I-I know it's late, but I've got to get out of here. 165 00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:49,397 So I sent the car. When she got here... 166 00:07:49,410 --> 00:07:51,524 - Lily, what a lovely... - Can I use your powder room? 167 00:07:51,982 --> 00:07:53,995 And then she went to the powder room. 168 00:07:54,018 --> 00:07:55,638 She was in there quite a while, actually. 169 00:07:55,658 --> 00:07:58,065 Probably a deuce. Go on. 170 00:07:58,084 --> 00:08:00,551 And when she came out, she had to leave right away. 171 00:08:00,578 --> 00:08:01,545 It was odd. 172 00:08:01,551 --> 00:08:04,894 But I assure you, nothing inappropriate happened between me and your wife. 173 00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:07,053 Captain, I understand what you're saying, 174 00:08:07,073 --> 00:08:10,299 but what you don't understand is that Lily is my wife, 175 00:08:10,319 --> 00:08:13,172 and I love her way too much to behave rationally right now! 176 00:08:13,204 --> 00:08:14,591 En garde! 177 00:08:15,005 --> 00:08:17,053 This is the best day of my life. 178 00:08:17,836 --> 00:08:20,815 Oh, darling, come on, no, no. 179 00:08:20,828 --> 00:08:22,997 You're not marrying your father. 180 00:08:23,010 --> 00:08:26,570 I mean, your father... I mean, let's just put it this way. 181 00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,435 Your father was a sociopath. 182 00:08:28,461 --> 00:08:31,263 He slept with over 20 women. 183 00:08:31,282 --> 00:08:34,166 And sure, you know, we were friends for years first 184 00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:36,296 and it was entertaining watching him lie 185 00:08:36,309 --> 00:08:39,564 to those poor girls to get inside their snow pants, 186 00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:44,371 but I should have known back then this was not husband material. 187 00:08:44,384 --> 00:08:47,332 I mean, even your Uncle Jim, you know, his gay black brother... 188 00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:49,129 Will you shut up! 189 00:08:51,454 --> 00:08:52,375 Go for Barney! 190 00:08:52,382 --> 00:08:56,338 Your bride is freaking the crap out right now. Where the hell are you? 191 00:08:56,367 --> 00:08:58,028 I warn you, Captain, 192 00:08:58,047 --> 00:09:02,986 I've pretended to have a duel with actual swords twice. 193 00:09:03,007 --> 00:09:05,937 I warn you, Marshall, I was on the Olympic fencing team. 194 00:09:05,950 --> 00:09:07,770 Won three gold medals. 195 00:09:07,791 --> 00:09:09,457 I warn you, Captain, 196 00:09:09,487 --> 00:09:12,428 I'm starting to feel like this was a mistake. 197 00:09:12,441 --> 00:09:14,534 I think I'd better not say where I am. 198 00:09:14,540 --> 00:09:17,414 I am not kidding around here! Tell me where you are! 199 00:09:18,407 --> 00:09:20,783 We're at the Captain's house. 200 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,314 What is it? What's wrong? 201 00:09:26,877 --> 00:09:30,269 I am so busted. 202 00:09:33,270 --> 00:09:35,233 Thank you, Linus. 203 00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:42,177 You have another piece of gum? 204 00:09:46,066 --> 00:09:48,033 I can keep a secret. 205 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,279 I can keep a secret real good. 206 00:09:50,306 --> 00:09:53,873 - Are you chewing gum? - I can keep a secret like nobody's business, 207 00:09:53,888 --> 00:09:56,688 'cause it is nobody's business. 208 00:09:56,708 --> 00:09:59,073 You never chew gum. You shouldn't chew gum in here. 209 00:09:59,079 --> 00:10:02,294 'Cause it's a secret, and I'm keeping it! 210 00:10:03,195 --> 00:10:04,553 Wait! Stop the duel! 211 00:10:04,578 --> 00:10:07,371 Oh, thank God. I mean, why? 212 00:10:07,385 --> 00:10:10,778 Why? Because I just solved the mystery, that's why. 213 00:10:10,798 --> 00:10:13,186 Mosby Boys! 214 00:10:14,941 --> 00:10:17,057 We agreed you wouldn't do that anymore. 215 00:10:17,996 --> 00:10:19,989 Mystery? What mystery? 216 00:10:20,173 --> 00:10:21,997 Lily has a secret. 217 00:10:22,896 --> 00:10:24,814 She's hiding something, 218 00:10:25,419 --> 00:10:27,954 and I know what it is. 219 00:10:37,050 --> 00:10:39,137 Okay, what is she hiding? 220 00:10:39,150 --> 00:10:41,357 I'll tell you in a minute. 221 00:10:41,387 --> 00:10:44,302 I want to enjoy the suspense a little bit first. 222 00:10:45,904 --> 00:10:47,692 Ooh. 223 00:10:56,954 --> 00:10:59,934 Oh, my God, will you just tell us! 224 00:11:02,073 --> 00:11:03,566 Very well. 225 00:11:03,594 --> 00:11:06,809 Now, we can all agree that this is the first time I've ever set foot 226 00:11:06,822 --> 00:11:08,596 in this house, correct? 227 00:11:08,609 --> 00:11:10,929 Oh, this is going to be unbearable. 228 00:11:10,942 --> 00:11:13,449 Now, Captain, your powder room-- 229 00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:15,752 does it face out on the ocean? 230 00:11:15,781 --> 00:11:17,511 Of course, right over the cliff. 231 00:11:17,536 --> 00:11:19,329 Just as I suspected. 232 00:11:19,362 --> 00:11:22,352 And if I were to walk into this powder room right now, 233 00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:25,194 I believe I'd see a potted plant of some sort. 234 00:11:25,214 --> 00:11:27,614 - Is that correct? - Yes. There's a daisy. 235 00:11:27,627 --> 00:11:30,554 A daisy. Interesting. 236 00:11:30,582 --> 00:11:33,489 Uh, not traditionally an indoor plant, but 237 00:11:33,512 --> 00:11:37,850 I suppose it gets plenty of light with the southern exposure. 238 00:11:37,874 --> 00:11:39,407 That's right, it does. 239 00:11:39,425 --> 00:11:41,805 Will you please fetch the daisy? 240 00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:43,198 Aye-aye. 241 00:11:44,976 --> 00:11:46,471 I totally solved it. 242 00:11:46,724 --> 00:11:48,418 You didn't solve it. 243 00:11:48,706 --> 00:11:50,686 You didn't solve it. 244 00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:52,290 You didn't solve it. 245 00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:55,289 You didn't solve it. Did you solve...? No, you didn't solve it. 246 00:11:55,307 --> 00:11:56,860 I solved it! 247 00:11:57,888 --> 00:12:00,752 Ah. Thank you, Captain. 248 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,840 Now... 249 00:12:02,875 --> 00:12:04,722 a simple question. 250 00:12:04,742 --> 00:12:08,210 When Lily and Marshall are apart for an extended period of time, 251 00:12:08,233 --> 00:12:11,648 what is the one thing Lily always does? 252 00:12:11,670 --> 00:12:12,770 Cry? 253 00:12:12,790 --> 00:12:14,623 - Masturbate? - Karate? 254 00:12:14,643 --> 00:12:17,025 - Go sailing? - No. 255 00:12:17,890 --> 00:12:20,670 When Lily and Marshall are apart 256 00:12:20,692 --> 00:12:22,929 for a long period of time, 257 00:12:23,675 --> 00:12:27,192 Lily... always... 258 00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:37,300 ...starts smoking again. 259 00:12:38,689 --> 00:12:40,236 That's true, she does. 260 00:12:40,252 --> 00:12:42,571 Happened when she went to Paris in college. 261 00:12:42,584 --> 00:12:45,672 It happened when she moved to San Francisco, and last week, 262 00:12:45,685 --> 00:12:46,965 it happened again. 263 00:12:46,986 --> 00:12:49,326 From the moment Marshall left for Minnesota, 264 00:12:49,339 --> 00:12:51,299 Lily's been secretly puffing down the ciggies 265 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:54,592 like a 46-year-old grandma at a Reno slot machine. 266 00:12:54,613 --> 00:12:56,936 Problem was, come Friday morning, 267 00:12:56,949 --> 00:13:00,063 she knew she'd have to quit again, cold turkey. 268 00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:01,819 And it wouldn't be easy. 269 00:13:01,833 --> 00:13:04,913 She tried to make it a whole car ride without a fix, but couldn't. 270 00:13:04,926 --> 00:13:06,333 So, she pretended to be annoyed 271 00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:09,661 by perfectly reasonable things, like my stylish driving gloves 272 00:13:09,688 --> 00:13:13,000 and my appreciation of the historic van Otterloop manse. 273 00:13:13,558 --> 00:13:18,230 All so she could have one last smoke on the train. 274 00:13:18,669 --> 00:13:21,548 But afterwards, her breath told the tale. 275 00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:24,640 And that's why, when she got to the hotel, 276 00:13:24,667 --> 00:13:25,887 Lily... 277 00:13:25,907 --> 00:13:27,854 was chewing... 278 00:13:27,879 --> 00:13:28,759 gum. 279 00:13:28,779 --> 00:13:30,301 Lily never chews gum. 280 00:13:30,330 --> 00:13:32,183 - What? Never? - Well, hardly ever. 281 00:13:32,204 --> 00:13:33,794 Great job, Ted. 282 00:13:33,807 --> 00:13:36,674 That's some pretty solid evidence. Gum. 283 00:13:36,695 --> 00:13:40,002 Oh, Barney, my dear boy. 284 00:13:40,022 --> 00:13:42,838 - I'm just getting started. - Getting started? 285 00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:46,130 Lily knew that cigarette was probably her last for a while. 286 00:13:46,157 --> 00:13:47,950 She needed something to keep her nerves calm, 287 00:13:47,973 --> 00:13:49,420 so she headed to the bar. 288 00:13:49,441 --> 00:13:51,965 Anytime you see me without a drink in my hand, 289 00:13:51,990 --> 00:13:54,590 you put a drink in my hand. 290 00:13:54,619 --> 00:13:57,039 Are you my guy, Linus? 291 00:13:57,045 --> 00:14:00,450 What followed was a long day and a half for Lily. 292 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,132 A really long day and a half. 293 00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:05,965 Oh, it's kind of insane how much happened in just a day and a half. 294 00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:10,832 Anyway, Marshall returned, they had a big fight, Lily stormed out. 295 00:14:11,196 --> 00:14:12,649 And that's when she realized, 296 00:14:12,671 --> 00:14:15,707 if she was gonna sneak one this weekend, this was her chance. 297 00:14:15,728 --> 00:14:18,495 And after that fight, boy, did she need one. 298 00:14:18,523 --> 00:14:22,050 Only problem: She was all out. 299 00:14:22,067 --> 00:14:24,713 Now, it's 3:00 a.m., you need a cigarette, 300 00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:27,715 and the only place that's open is an EZ Pick that's five miles down the road. 301 00:14:27,732 --> 00:14:30,892 You have no car. What do you do? Go. 302 00:14:30,929 --> 00:14:32,842 - Dirt-bike it. - I can walk that far. 303 00:14:32,865 --> 00:14:35,118 - Masturbate. - Take a boat. 304 00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:37,413 What? A boat? No. 305 00:14:37,436 --> 00:14:39,770 Dude, she got a ride in your car, remember? 306 00:14:41,346 --> 00:14:42,086 Ahoy. 307 00:14:42,099 --> 00:14:44,992 Hi. I-I know it's late, but I've got to get out of here. 308 00:14:44,998 --> 00:14:47,060 I want to make one stop first. 309 00:14:49,312 --> 00:14:50,579 The problem was, 310 00:14:50,609 --> 00:14:53,329 Lily didn't want to smoke in front of her new employer. 311 00:14:53,335 --> 00:14:56,283 So, when she arrived at the Captain's house, there was only one 312 00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:57,750 possible course of action. 313 00:14:57,763 --> 00:14:59,463 Can I use your powder room? 314 00:15:02,886 --> 00:15:04,459 Now, you're Lily. 315 00:15:04,490 --> 00:15:07,077 You've just had a cigarette in your boss's powder room. 316 00:15:07,099 --> 00:15:08,686 What do you do with the cigarette butt? 317 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,132 Throw it out the window? Flush it? 318 00:15:10,138 --> 00:15:12,932 No, she-she wouldn't do either of those things. She's an environmentalist. 319 00:15:12,951 --> 00:15:15,184 - Stick it in your purse? - Marshall could find it there. 320 00:15:15,197 --> 00:15:17,798 - Throw it in the trash can. - The Captain would find it there. 321 00:15:17,805 --> 00:15:19,785 Hide it in a boat. 322 00:15:19,798 --> 00:15:24,699 - A boat? Wait. How would that... - I don't know. I just... I like boats. 323 00:15:26,397 --> 00:15:27,731 No. 324 00:15:28,273 --> 00:15:30,965 There's only one place that she would put it. 325 00:15:30,978 --> 00:15:32,627 A place where, eventually, 326 00:15:32,646 --> 00:15:36,476 it would decompose and serve as a natural mulch. 327 00:15:37,273 --> 00:15:38,929 It's in the daisy. 328 00:15:39,943 --> 00:15:41,769 And sure enough, 329 00:15:41,782 --> 00:15:43,356 if I dig around... 330 00:15:43,382 --> 00:15:46,681 I am all but guaranteed to find... 331 00:15:48,826 --> 00:15:50,527 A pregnancy test. 332 00:15:52,870 --> 00:15:54,638 You could smoke those? 333 00:16:08,779 --> 00:16:10,139 Oh, no. 334 00:16:10,152 --> 00:16:11,832 So, you want the Kennedy package? 335 00:16:11,856 --> 00:16:13,222 Bingo. 336 00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:17,346 One other little thing. 337 00:16:17,366 --> 00:16:21,776 When you do put a drink in my hand, let's make it non-alcoholic. 338 00:16:21,793 --> 00:16:23,760 There's a chance I might be pregnant. 339 00:16:23,779 --> 00:16:27,732 Okay, Linus, don't start popping the sparkling cider just yet. 340 00:16:27,751 --> 00:16:29,756 I'm just being cautious. 341 00:16:30,108 --> 00:16:33,099 I'll take a test when I get home. It can wait. 342 00:16:33,111 --> 00:16:37,131 Are Marvin and I and any other future children 343 00:16:37,144 --> 00:16:40,375 we may have just some consolation prize? 344 00:16:40,752 --> 00:16:43,044 I have to get out of here. 345 00:16:48,870 --> 00:16:50,114 It can't wait. 346 00:16:55,953 --> 00:16:58,741 - Lily, what a lovely... - Can I use your powder room? 347 00:17:03,492 --> 00:17:05,937 Two minutes. Here we go. 348 00:17:15,365 --> 00:17:17,518 Guys, we need to go back to the hotel. 349 00:17:19,730 --> 00:17:22,503 Lily peed on that, and you touched it. 350 00:17:23,779 --> 00:17:25,380 Lily? 351 00:17:27,383 --> 00:17:29,316 We're gonna have a baby? 352 00:17:32,109 --> 00:17:35,033 I told you guys I could keep a secret. 353 00:17:37,801 --> 00:17:40,694 Uh, uh, Barney, this-this is my mom. 354 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,413 - Hi. - Hello. 355 00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:45,422 Oh. Oh, he's a hugger. Nothing like your dad. 356 00:17:46,875 --> 00:17:49,255 I'm sorry. I-I was gonna tell you tonight. 357 00:17:49,261 --> 00:17:51,501 No. Oh, my God, no. It's fine. There's just... 358 00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:53,529 there's so much we have to do. You know, we have to, um... 359 00:17:53,542 --> 00:17:54,904 we have to do research on... 360 00:17:54,923 --> 00:17:57,151 uh, hospitals in Italy, and we have to, uh... 361 00:17:57,164 --> 00:17:58,937 We're not going to Italy. 362 00:17:59,551 --> 00:18:01,351 Of course we are. 363 00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:04,407 Lily, we have to do this. You're gonna live in Rome, 364 00:18:04,433 --> 00:18:06,807 and you're gonna get your dream, because... 365 00:18:07,604 --> 00:18:09,717 because you're giving me mine. 366 00:18:09,741 --> 00:18:11,308 Again. 367 00:18:11,736 --> 00:18:13,423 But there's gonna be all sorts of paperwork, 368 00:18:13,436 --> 00:18:15,440 and-and if she's born outside of the U.S., 369 00:18:15,453 --> 00:18:17,467 she could never become president. 370 00:18:18,382 --> 00:18:19,555 It's a girl? 371 00:18:19,571 --> 00:18:21,914 Oh. I don't know, but... 372 00:18:22,573 --> 00:18:25,068 in my mind, I kind of think she is. 373 00:18:25,535 --> 00:18:27,242 Oh. I love you so much. 374 00:18:27,255 --> 00:18:28,556 Mmm. 375 00:18:29,872 --> 00:18:32,080 We're gonna give you some privacy. 376 00:18:34,965 --> 00:18:38,206 - It's my room. Why do I have to...? - Just... come on. 377 00:18:40,499 --> 00:18:42,679 - I thought this was an exit. - No, balcony. 378 00:18:42,692 --> 00:18:44,504 Ah. Oh. 379 00:18:44,536 --> 00:18:46,432 Well, we'll just give them a few minutes, and then... 380 00:18:46,445 --> 00:18:48,774 - Mm-hmm. - ...we'll go back in and... 381 00:18:48,787 --> 00:18:49,974 Oh. 382 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:53,434 - Oh, they are both naked. - Yeah, they work fast. 383 00:18:53,447 --> 00:18:55,136 Yes. 384 00:18:55,747 --> 00:18:57,440 Oh, darling. 385 00:18:57,446 --> 00:18:59,552 Oh, you're going to be fine. 386 00:18:59,579 --> 00:19:01,942 You know, for every marriage in the world 387 00:19:01,949 --> 00:19:04,355 like I had with your dad, you know, there's... 388 00:19:04,369 --> 00:19:07,016 there's a marriage like those two in there. 389 00:19:07,038 --> 00:19:09,185 And, oh, marriage is... 390 00:19:09,204 --> 00:19:12,224 Oh, it's terrifying. It's-it's like flying. 391 00:19:12,248 --> 00:19:15,930 You know, you're-you're filled with this mortal dread, but 392 00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:20,453 if you find someone you feel safe with, it's like flying! 393 00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:24,754 But if you got someone that you feel is really there for you, 394 00:19:24,781 --> 00:19:27,232 someone you can depend on, 395 00:19:27,251 --> 00:19:29,197 you're gonna be fine. 396 00:19:30,034 --> 00:19:32,086 Do you have someone like that? 397 00:19:37,469 --> 00:19:39,061 I do. 398 00:21:08,283 --> 00:21:13,283 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man Resync for WEB-DL by Norther