1
00:00:00,501 --> 00:00:03,507
In 1994, Robin's dad took her
to New York City
2
00:00:03,508 --> 00:00:04,858
for the first time...
3
00:00:04,860 --> 00:00:07,360
This is amazing!
Thank you, sir!
4
00:00:07,362 --> 00:00:09,946
Wella little father-son
bonding trip never hurt anyone.
5
00:00:09,948 --> 00:00:12,782
I-I did almost die
from malnutrition
6
00:00:12,784 --> 00:00:14,517
on that wolf hunt last year...
7
00:00:14,519 --> 00:00:16,519
I had to almost kill you
8
00:00:16,521 --> 00:00:17,737
for you to learn how to kill.
9
00:00:17,739 --> 00:00:20,690
New York City's the best, eh?
10
00:00:20,692 --> 00:00:22,042
I despise it.
It's like Edmonton,
11
00:00:22,044 --> 00:00:23,910
minus the arts and culture.
12
00:00:23,912 --> 00:00:25,161
Come on, we'll miss our flight.
13
00:00:25,163 --> 00:00:26,746
I'll catch up.
14
00:00:28,532 --> 00:00:31,200
One day, I'm gonna move here,
15
00:00:31,202 --> 00:00:34,421
marry a sophisticated
big-city man
16
00:00:34,423 --> 00:00:36,473
with a sick mullet--
17
00:00:36,475 --> 00:00:39,542
like all the way down to his
shoulder pads,
18
00:00:39,544 --> 00:00:40,560
and at night,
19
00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:43,046
he'll let me brush it...
20
00:00:43,048 --> 00:00:46,933
and I'll dig up this locket
21
00:00:46,935 --> 00:00:51,387
so it can be my "something old"
at our wedding.
22
00:00:52,189 --> 00:00:53,222
R.J.!
23
00:00:53,224 --> 00:00:54,657
Coming, sir!
24
00:00:56,393 --> 00:00:57,994
I'll be back for you.
25
00:01:00,581 --> 00:01:03,933
Back then, I was...
26
00:01:03,935 --> 00:01:04,968
but we're closer now.
27
00:01:06,221 --> 00:01:08,188
I feel like I don't have to hide
my feminine side anymore
28
00:01:08,190 --> 00:01:09,472
just because you've
always wanted a...
29
00:01:09,474 --> 00:01:11,474
Son!
It's Barney!
30
00:01:11,476 --> 00:01:13,059
Great!
31
00:01:13,061 --> 00:01:14,694
I'll be there in 15, B-dawg.
32
00:01:14,696 --> 00:01:16,096
Woof, woof!
33
00:01:18,567 --> 00:01:20,016
That's our thing.
34
00:01:20,018 --> 00:01:21,701
Uh... be where in 15?
35
00:01:21,703 --> 00:01:22,786
Laser tag.
36
00:01:22,788 --> 00:01:24,571
Never been.
B-dawg's gonna teach me.
37
00:01:24,573 --> 00:01:28,124
Look, I-I think that it's great
that you and Barney are...
38
00:01:28,126 --> 00:01:28,958
B-dawg.
39
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:31,661
...B-dawg are bonding,
40
00:01:31,663 --> 00:01:34,363
but, um... you agreed
to help me with this.
41
00:01:34,365 --> 00:01:35,799
Fine.
42
00:01:35,801 --> 00:01:37,717
Where did you bury this tampon?
43
00:01:37,719 --> 00:01:38,718
It's a locket.
44
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:39,736
I'm sorry, I get all these
45
00:01:39,738 --> 00:01:42,372
girlie things confused.
46
00:01:42,374 --> 00:01:44,424
Do you need my help or not?
47
00:01:45,810 --> 00:01:47,727
Nah, it's stupid.
48
00:01:49,514 --> 00:01:51,881
So while Robin searched
for her something old,
49
00:01:51,883 --> 00:01:54,267
Lily and Marshall packed
for their something new:
50
00:01:54,269 --> 00:01:56,503
Lily's year-long art consultant
gig in Italy.
51
00:01:56,505 --> 00:01:58,554
I still can't believe
52
00:01:58,556 --> 00:02:00,523
we have to say goodbye
to this place...
53
00:02:00,525 --> 00:02:02,442
Oh. I know, baby.
54
00:02:02,444 --> 00:02:04,911
But look at it as an excuse
to simplify our lives.
55
00:02:04,913 --> 00:02:06,579
You know, we can't bring
everything to Italy,
56
00:02:06,581 --> 00:02:08,081
so we gotta throw out
some junk.
57
00:02:08,083 --> 00:02:10,667
For example, look...
58
00:02:10,669 --> 00:02:12,035
my old Sasquatch binders
59
00:02:12,037 --> 00:02:14,120
that "I could never throw away"
60
00:02:14,122 --> 00:02:15,922
because
"I was gonna be the guy
61
00:02:15,924 --> 00:02:17,674
who proved the existence
of Bigfoot..."
62
00:02:17,676 --> 00:02:18,908
These are obviously
coming to Italy.
63
00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:20,126
But these handbags?
64
00:02:20,128 --> 00:02:21,211
Gonzo.
65
00:02:21,213 --> 00:02:22,512
No way!
66
00:02:22,514 --> 00:02:25,581
These have sentimental
meaning to me.
67
00:02:25,583 --> 00:02:27,383
Didn't you shop-lift these
in your 20s?
68
00:02:27,385 --> 00:02:29,936
Yes, and I get very nostalgic
for that time.
69
00:02:29,938 --> 00:02:33,256
You get older, you have kids,
you stop stealing, it's sad.
70
00:02:33,258 --> 00:02:34,274
Lily...
71
00:02:34,276 --> 00:02:35,758
we just don't have
room for these.
72
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,895
Oh, but you get to keep
your Bigfoot binders?
73
00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:42,431
Wait, why is this one
just December 1999?
74
00:02:42,433 --> 00:02:44,951
Oh. Y2K was coming.
75
00:02:44,953 --> 00:02:47,987
Lot of people took to the woods.
76
00:02:47,989 --> 00:02:49,739
Saw the truth.
77
00:02:49,741 --> 00:02:53,042
Okay, Marshall, we don't
have time to argue
78
00:02:53,044 --> 00:02:54,777
over what stays and what goes.
79
00:02:54,779 --> 00:02:56,880
Ooh, you know who
we gotta bring in?
80
00:02:56,882 --> 00:02:59,833
Okay, I agree he is
good at this stuff,
81
00:02:59,835 --> 00:03:01,835
but he just gets so cocky.
82
00:03:01,837 --> 00:03:03,119
No, he doesn't.
83
00:03:06,456 --> 00:03:08,942
So I heard you guys have
a bit of a...
84
00:03:08,944 --> 00:03:11,511
packing situation.
85
00:03:11,513 --> 00:03:13,796
I acknowledge now
this was a mistake.
86
00:03:13,798 --> 00:03:17,100
Look, I came here to chew
bubblegum and pack boxes.
87
00:03:17,102 --> 00:03:19,819
And I'm all out of bubble...
88
00:03:19,821 --> 00:03:21,971
Oh, my God.... Oh, my God.
89
00:03:21,973 --> 00:03:24,440
I swallowed it.
90
00:03:24,442 --> 00:03:25,975
Is that bad?
91
00:03:25,977 --> 00:03:27,494
Okay, thank you.
92
00:03:27,496 --> 00:03:29,245
Well, Dr. Goldsmith says
I should be fine.
93
00:03:29,247 --> 00:03:31,080
I just have to look for it
in my stool.
94
00:03:31,866 --> 00:03:34,450
So as I was saying...
95
00:03:34,452 --> 00:03:36,519
I heard you guys have
a bit of a...
96
00:03:36,521 --> 00:03:39,172
packing situation.
97
00:03:39,259 --> 00:03:43,259
♪ How I Met Your Mother 8x23 ♪
Something Old
Original Air Date on May 6, 2013
98
00:03:43,284 --> 00:03:48,284
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
99
00:03:51,969 --> 00:03:53,803
Now, as you know,
100
00:03:53,805 --> 00:03:57,040
I'm a bit of a legend
when it comes to packing.
101
00:03:57,042 --> 00:03:58,725
We know.
We know.
102
00:03:58,727 --> 00:04:00,443
Tales are still told
103
00:04:00,445 --> 00:04:03,029
of the time I traveled
all through Spain...
104
00:04:04,514 --> 00:04:06,733
...for two weeks...
105
00:04:07,851 --> 00:04:09,786
...with everything I needed
106
00:04:09,788 --> 00:04:13,623
efficiently packed into
a hands-free belt satchel.
107
00:04:13,625 --> 00:04:15,524
The locals called me...
108
00:04:22,132 --> 00:04:25,051
Yeah, it's not a "hands-free
belt satchel," Ted.
109
00:04:25,053 --> 00:04:26,052
It's a fanny pack.
110
00:04:26,054 --> 00:04:27,837
It's not a fanny pack.
111
00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:30,924
In Spanish,
El Ganso con la Riñonera
112
00:04:30,926 --> 00:04:32,759
means "Fanny Pack Dork."
113
00:04:32,761 --> 00:04:33,927
No, it doesn't.
114
00:04:33,929 --> 00:04:36,379
It means "Packer of Great Skill
and Merit."
115
00:04:36,381 --> 00:04:37,597
I looked it up.
116
00:04:37,599 --> 00:04:39,766
It means"Fanny Pack Dork."
117
00:04:39,768 --> 00:04:42,718
And as a Packer
of Great Skill and Merit,
118
00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:46,239
I will tell you how to pack
with Tetris-like precision.
119
00:04:46,241 --> 00:04:48,775
We get it, you pack
a lot in your fanny.
120
00:04:48,777 --> 00:04:50,443
Obvious yet delightful.
121
00:04:50,445 --> 00:04:51,494
Okay.
122
00:04:51,496 --> 00:04:52,979
I got a big interview at 3:00
123
00:04:52,981 --> 00:04:54,414
about possibly designing
another building.
124
00:04:54,416 --> 00:04:57,233
Until then,
if you abide by my rulings,
125
00:04:57,235 --> 00:04:59,402
I will tell you
what goes to Italy
126
00:04:59,404 --> 00:05:02,922
and what goes in...
The Triangle.
127
00:05:02,924 --> 00:05:05,675
Kids, as you know,
"The Bermuda Triangle"
128
00:05:05,677 --> 00:05:07,410
was the name we gave
to the curb
129
00:05:07,412 --> 00:05:08,544
right outside our apartment,
130
00:05:08,546 --> 00:05:11,297
which possessed
the magical ability
131
00:05:11,299 --> 00:05:13,600
to make any item disappear.
132
00:05:13,602 --> 00:05:14,801
Instantly.
133
00:05:14,803 --> 00:05:16,919
The biggest rule for
de-cluttering is,
134
00:05:16,921 --> 00:05:19,973
"Have you used it
in the last year?"
135
00:05:19,975 --> 00:05:22,642
If not... Triangle.
136
00:05:23,611 --> 00:05:26,396
Have you used this jump rope
in the last year?
137
00:05:26,398 --> 00:05:27,398
Are you kidding?
138
00:05:27,399 --> 00:05:29,282
I hop threads
every morning, son!
139
00:05:29,284 --> 00:05:31,484
Do three in a row
and you can keep it.
140
00:05:34,338 --> 00:05:35,405
Well-played, Mosby.
141
00:05:35,407 --> 00:05:37,790
Next!
142
00:05:39,326 --> 00:05:41,077
Have you used it
in the last year?
143
00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:44,297
Gee, I can't remember.
144
00:05:47,584 --> 00:05:49,002
Are you trying to bribe me?
145
00:05:50,054 --> 00:05:51,504
I don't know what
you're talking about.
146
00:05:51,506 --> 00:05:52,605
Take it.
147
00:05:52,607 --> 00:05:53,690
Triangle!
148
00:05:54,792 --> 00:05:55,958
Next!
149
00:05:59,314 --> 00:06:02,148
Wow, you're a natural...
Dad.
150
00:06:02,983 --> 00:06:04,484
You know, I love Robin.
151
00:06:04,486 --> 00:06:06,169
And her sister's okay, I guess.
152
00:06:06,171 --> 00:06:09,656
But there's something nice
about finally having...
153
00:06:09,658 --> 00:06:10,857
a son.
154
00:06:10,859 --> 00:06:12,659
A s...
155
00:06:13,477 --> 00:06:15,311
I...
156
00:06:15,313 --> 00:06:16,513
Cristalli twins, nine o'clock!
157
00:06:19,584 --> 00:06:21,650
Now make like your mommy's
ovum and split!
158
00:06:22,654 --> 00:06:25,038
Solid biology joke, B-dawg.
159
00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:26,372
Woof, woof!
160
00:06:27,459 --> 00:06:28,758
Now, I'll admit,
161
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:29,792
to the untrained eye,
162
00:06:29,794 --> 00:06:31,177
a few of my packing rulings
163
00:06:31,179 --> 00:06:32,261
may have seemed arbitrary.
164
00:06:32,263 --> 00:06:35,014
Let's Go Italy? Triangle.
165
00:06:35,799 --> 00:06:36,999
Triangle...
166
00:06:37,001 --> 00:06:38,167
let's go Italy.
167
00:06:39,470 --> 00:06:42,638
A gorilla suit and a blonde wig.
168
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,557
Have you used either of these
in the last year?
169
00:06:48,897 --> 00:06:50,730
Please, Queen Kong...
170
00:06:50,732 --> 00:06:52,348
be gentle.
171
00:06:54,569 --> 00:06:55,952
Nope, haven't used those.
172
00:06:55,954 --> 00:06:57,434
I don't think those
even belong to us.
173
00:06:58,572 --> 00:07:00,406
Okay, here's an easy one.
174
00:07:00,408 --> 00:07:03,960
A leaky, ten-year-old
beanbag chair
175
00:07:03,962 --> 00:07:06,129
covered in beer, bong water
176
00:07:06,131 --> 00:07:09,582
and fossilized Cool Ranch
Dorito fingerprints.
177
00:07:09,584 --> 00:07:10,633
Italy.
178
00:07:10,635 --> 00:07:13,002
Vieni ancora per Fudge Grande?
179
00:07:13,004 --> 00:07:15,555
Guys, this chair
has been here forever.
180
00:07:15,557 --> 00:07:16,839
You gotta take it with you.
181
00:07:16,841 --> 00:07:18,424
- Italy.
- Ted...
182
00:07:18,426 --> 00:07:20,709
Italy doesn't need something
that is wrinkled,
183
00:07:20,711 --> 00:07:22,228
red and leaky,
184
00:07:22,230 --> 00:07:24,597
and smells like booze
and narcotics.
185
00:07:24,599 --> 00:07:27,400
They've already got former Prime
Minister Silvio Berlusconi.
186
00:07:28,686 --> 00:07:30,236
I don't know who that is.
187
00:07:30,238 --> 00:07:32,688
All rulings are final.
188
00:07:32,690 --> 00:07:35,992
Okay, why are things that
we like getting "Triangled"
189
00:07:35,994 --> 00:07:38,728
and crap you like sneaks through?
Like what?
190
00:07:38,730 --> 00:07:40,997
That old 50-pound
karaoke machine.
191
00:07:40,999 --> 00:07:42,081
Come on!
192
00:07:42,083 --> 00:07:43,699
We sang in the New Year in '02
193
00:07:43,701 --> 00:07:44,867
on this thing, remember?
194
00:07:44,869 --> 00:07:46,786
We were Destiny's Child!
195
00:07:49,256 --> 00:07:50,506
And since I was Beyonce ,
196
00:07:50,508 --> 00:07:52,575
I'm pretty sure
I get final say here, so...
197
00:07:52,577 --> 00:07:54,710
Oh, we were not your
backup singers, bitch,
198
00:07:54,712 --> 00:07:55,878
we were a group.
199
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,381
I'm sorry, are you guys
married to Jay-Z,
200
00:07:58,383 --> 00:08:00,466
or am I married to Jay-Z?
201
00:08:01,135 --> 00:08:02,385
Italy.
202
00:08:04,722 --> 00:08:06,722
Wow.
203
00:08:06,724 --> 00:08:08,808
The way you used that kid
having an asthma attack
204
00:08:08,810 --> 00:08:09,809
as a human shield?
205
00:08:09,811 --> 00:08:11,477
That took my breath away.
206
00:08:11,479 --> 00:08:13,262
Yeah.
Okay, next,
207
00:08:13,264 --> 00:08:14,981
I'll be point guy
and you lay down cover.
208
00:08:14,983 --> 00:08:16,432
So I'm...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...
209
00:08:16,434 --> 00:08:18,434
are you suggesting that
I will not be point guy?
210
00:08:19,454 --> 00:08:21,120
Look,
if Michael Jordan's healthy,
211
00:08:21,122 --> 00:08:23,372
you don't let Scottie Pippen
run the offense.
212
00:08:24,241 --> 00:08:26,442
Oh, you're from Canada, right.
213
00:08:26,444 --> 00:08:28,044
If... how do I put this?
214
00:08:28,046 --> 00:08:30,580
If Wayne Gretzky's healthy,
you don't let...
215
00:08:30,582 --> 00:08:32,081
uh...
216
00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:33,616
François...
217
00:08:33,618 --> 00:08:37,970
What I'm saying is: hockey
is stupid and I'm point guy.
218
00:08:37,972 --> 00:08:40,256
Well, I'm point guy
or I'm off the team.
219
00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:43,176
Gah! You are the most stubborn
human being I have ever met!
220
00:08:43,178 --> 00:08:44,227
You better get used to it...
221
00:08:44,229 --> 00:08:45,429
you're marrying a Scherbatsky.
222
00:08:45,430 --> 00:08:47,980
Your daughter is not
even a fraction
223
00:08:47,982 --> 00:08:52,134
as obstinate, stubborn
and... insane as you are!
224
00:08:52,136 --> 00:08:55,605
Where are you,
you son of a bitch?!
225
00:08:56,473 --> 00:08:58,074
Look away, kids,
she's about to pee.
226
00:08:58,076 --> 00:08:59,025
What...?
227
00:08:59,027 --> 00:09:00,610
I am not some animal.
228
00:09:00,612 --> 00:09:02,245
I peed 20 minutes ago
229
00:09:02,247 --> 00:09:04,580
and I buried it neatly
because I am a lady!
230
00:09:09,412 --> 00:09:12,451
Ted, we haven't used this chair
in the last year.
231
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:14,919
Ergo, Triangle.
232
00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:16,671
Yeah, I guess I see your point.
233
00:09:16,673 --> 00:09:19,340
I mean, if you haven't used it
in the last year...
234
00:09:19,342 --> 00:09:20,792
Oh!
235
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:21,759
Using it!
236
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:22,760
Italy!
237
00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:24,095
Triangle!
238
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,630
Italy.
239
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:26,914
Triangle!
Triangle!
240
00:09:26,916 --> 00:09:27,915
Italy.
241
00:09:27,917 --> 00:09:28,916
Okay, stop!
242
00:09:28,918 --> 00:09:30,018
Every time he lands,
243
00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:32,270
that chair farts out
ten-year-old Dorito dust.
244
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,489
Yeah, it's the chair.
245
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:37,442
Guys, trust me: you're gonna
want this chair in Italy.
246
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:39,944
I... it'll feel like home.
247
00:09:40,796 --> 00:09:41,863
All right, buddy.
248
00:09:41,865 --> 00:09:44,315
You win. Italy.
249
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,034
Really?
Yeah.
250
00:09:46,036 --> 00:09:47,618
We asked you to be
the judge here
251
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,620
and we gotta trust your opinion.
252
00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:50,605
She's right.
253
00:09:50,607 --> 00:09:51,939
And with all the traveling
254
00:09:51,941 --> 00:09:53,241
that we'll be doing...
255
00:09:53,243 --> 00:09:55,376
we could probably use
a couple of your...
256
00:09:55,378 --> 00:09:57,328
hands-free belt satchels.
257
00:09:58,213 --> 00:09:59,613
You said they were lame.
258
00:09:59,615 --> 00:10:01,165
I hate to admit it,
259
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:04,118
but they actually sound useful.
260
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,554
Could you buy us a couple?
261
00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:10,141
Two hands-free belt satchels,
coming right up.
262
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:12,260
Oh, and don't worry,
I'll get cool colors
263
00:10:12,262 --> 00:10:13,678
so you guys don't look like
264
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,264
whatever the Spanish term really
is for "Fanny Pack Dork."
265
00:10:22,438 --> 00:10:26,991
Men, it's us... versus them.
266
00:10:28,193 --> 00:10:30,695
Our actions here today
267
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:32,613
will echo through eternity...
268
00:10:32,615 --> 00:10:34,499
Stand up straight, Kaden!
269
00:10:35,484 --> 00:10:38,819
I only have one rule,
you worthless maggots:
270
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:41,789
We all respect each other.
271
00:10:42,841 --> 00:10:43,841
I only have one rule:
272
00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:46,177
For every three tens you bang,
273
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,762
throw a bone to a five.
274
00:10:47,764 --> 00:10:50,081
They're grateful and
hard-working and let's face it,
275
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,699
sometimes you just want
to lay there.
276
00:10:51,701 --> 00:10:53,851
What's that got to do
with Laser Tag?
277
00:10:57,005 --> 00:11:00,191
Everything!
278
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:01,392
...and we will prevail,
279
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,561
even if it takes all night!
280
00:11:04,279 --> 00:11:05,146
Tanner.
281
00:11:05,148 --> 00:11:07,198
I have to be home by 4:00.
282
00:11:10,686 --> 00:11:13,037
Anyone else have
any scheduling issues?
283
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:14,922
You can take down anyone
on their team...
284
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,408
but I want the big man
for myself.
285
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,660
What's your beef with oldie?
286
00:11:19,662 --> 00:11:22,046
He's...
287
00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:23,214
my father.
288
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:24,215
Father-in-law.
289
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,533
Shut up, Kai.
290
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:32,640
Wait a second...
291
00:11:32,642 --> 00:11:35,259
We get it, you pack
a lot in your fanny.
292
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:37,895
Obvious yet delightful.
293
00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:39,430
Oh, no!
294
00:11:44,736 --> 00:11:47,905
No!
295
00:11:49,224 --> 00:11:51,359
El Ganso!
El Ganso!
296
00:11:51,361 --> 00:11:52,577
Liars!
297
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:54,195
You sent me on a fool's errand.
298
00:11:54,197 --> 00:11:55,530
Okay, to be fair,
299
00:11:55,532 --> 00:11:58,232
buying a fanny pack is
inherently a fool's errand.
300
00:11:58,234 --> 00:12:00,368
Hands-free belt satchels.
301
00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:02,703
And just for that,
I will not move from this chair
302
00:12:02,705 --> 00:12:04,005
until you agree to keep it!
303
00:12:04,007 --> 00:12:05,790
Ted, unlike that chair,
304
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:08,092
you, sir, are full of beans.
305
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:09,743
You have a job interview
in half an hour.
306
00:12:11,746 --> 00:12:12,713
Screw the interview.
307
00:12:12,715 --> 00:12:13,798
I'm staying.
308
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:18,269
And because the forecast
calls for rain...
309
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,388
This... is a raincoat.
310
00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:31,115
Go for Barney.
311
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:33,484
Hey. Um...
312
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:34,785
I'm having an issue.
313
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:36,070
Now, listen, Robin...
314
00:12:36,072 --> 00:12:38,072
is this urgent or can we talk
about it later?
315
00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:40,908
Nah, it's stupid.
316
00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:43,494
Have fun.
317
00:12:45,381 --> 00:12:46,998
So long, losers!
318
00:12:50,052 --> 00:12:51,002
Um...
319
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,920
Look, can you guys
help me down?
320
00:12:52,922 --> 00:12:54,589
I... um...
321
00:12:54,591 --> 00:12:57,091
Ted, if this chair really
means that much to you,
322
00:12:57,093 --> 00:12:58,893
why don't you just
take it for yourself?
323
00:12:58,895 --> 00:13:01,462
No, it's important
that you keep it.
324
00:13:01,464 --> 00:13:02,563
Why?
325
00:13:02,565 --> 00:13:04,465
This is the first thing
we bought
326
00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:05,900
when we moved here
after college.
327
00:13:05,902 --> 00:13:09,270
It was the only piece of
furniture we had for a week.
328
00:13:09,272 --> 00:13:10,655
And now you two are
329
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:12,156
moving to Italy.
330
00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:13,441
What if our friendship
doesn't pass
331
00:13:13,443 --> 00:13:15,776
the "Have you used it in a yea""
test?
332
00:13:15,778 --> 00:13:18,696
If you can throw
out this chair...
333
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:21,415
who's to say you can't
throw me out, too?
334
00:13:21,417 --> 00:13:22,917
That could never happen.
335
00:13:22,919 --> 00:13:25,002
You're not a chair,
you're our best friend.
336
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:27,872
You can say that,
but a lot can change in a year.
337
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:29,657
Buddy, I...
338
00:13:29,659 --> 00:13:30,925
Look, I know I'm being crazy.
339
00:13:30,927 --> 00:13:33,511
I just...
340
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:36,097
I just need a moment
with this chair.
341
00:13:36,099 --> 00:13:38,216
You know... to say good-bye.
342
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:40,885
We'll give you two
some space.
343
00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:47,608
Kids, you can't cling
to the past.
344
00:13:53,615 --> 00:13:57,902
Because no matter how tightly
you hold on...
345
00:13:58,853 --> 00:14:01,422
...it's already gone.
346
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:06,911
Hello?
347
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:08,129
Hi.
348
00:14:08,131 --> 00:14:11,332
I'm at the Central Park Carousel
and, um...
349
00:14:11,334 --> 00:14:13,718
I'm having a little bit
of an issue.
350
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,202
Uh, what kind of issue?
351
00:14:15,204 --> 00:14:18,089
Actually, it's a long story...
352
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,091
Um, Robin, listen,
I'm-I'm late for a big meeting.
353
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:21,225
Is it important?
354
00:14:22,544 --> 00:14:24,679
Nah, it's stupid.
355
00:14:24,681 --> 00:14:26,380
Good luck.
356
00:14:27,516 --> 00:14:29,650
All right, here's
the bottom line, cockroaches.
357
00:14:29,652 --> 00:14:31,402
There's no end in sight
358
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:34,255
and we've got no provisions.
359
00:14:34,257 --> 00:14:35,406
If it comes down to it,
360
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:38,826
I need a volunteer to let
the rest of us...
361
00:14:38,828 --> 00:14:39,860
eat him.
362
00:14:39,862 --> 00:14:41,895
Barney's team seems
way more fun.
363
00:14:41,897 --> 00:14:42,730
Nonsense.
364
00:14:42,732 --> 00:14:44,298
Candy for everyone!
365
00:14:45,535 --> 00:14:47,918
Okay, Team Animal House...
who wants to try a cigar?
366
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,420
Yeah!
Yay!
367
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,672
I'm not saying we're gonna start
with your face or anything,
368
00:14:51,674 --> 00:14:53,174
but is there seriously
no one here
369
00:14:53,176 --> 00:14:55,293
willing to give up
a hand or a foot?
370
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:56,627
We're outta here!
371
00:15:17,830 --> 00:15:19,855
Ted, why are you here?
372
00:15:19,856 --> 00:15:21,940
You had that meeting;
I told you not to come.
373
00:15:21,942 --> 00:15:23,775
You said, "Nah, it's stupid,"
374
00:15:23,777 --> 00:15:26,527
which is Robin-ese for,
"It's important."
375
00:15:26,529 --> 00:15:28,112
Everyone knows that.
376
00:15:30,148 --> 00:15:32,667
Well... not everyone.
377
00:15:33,702 --> 00:15:35,286
But you shouldn't have
skipped that meeting.
378
00:15:35,288 --> 00:15:36,487
Was it important?
379
00:15:36,489 --> 00:15:39,123
Nah, it's stupid.
380
00:15:40,009 --> 00:15:42,543
And yet, my future husband--
381
00:15:42,545 --> 00:15:45,329
who I sometimes fear
is troublingly similar
382
00:15:45,331 --> 00:15:48,182
to my emotionally
unavailable father--
383
00:15:48,184 --> 00:15:51,219
is off shooting laser guns
with, oh, yeah, you guessed it:
384
00:15:51,221 --> 00:15:53,354
my emotionally
unavailable father.
385
00:15:53,356 --> 00:15:54,722
Oh, come on, that's not fair.
386
00:15:54,724 --> 00:15:56,307
If you told Barney
that you needed him,
387
00:15:56,309 --> 00:15:57,525
he'd be here in a heartbeat.
388
00:15:57,527 --> 00:15:59,777
I didn't have to tell you.
389
00:15:59,779 --> 00:16:02,013
And you're here.
390
00:16:02,982 --> 00:16:04,849
You don't even know why.
391
00:16:06,852 --> 00:16:09,988
Seems like I'm here to dig.
392
00:16:22,034 --> 00:16:24,585
Looking for "D"s?
393
00:16:25,754 --> 00:16:28,706
Long story short,
I promised my future self
394
00:16:28,708 --> 00:16:31,542
the locket would be my
"something old" at my wedding.
395
00:16:32,811 --> 00:16:33,928
What?
396
00:16:34,563 --> 00:16:36,064
No, I just like that there was
397
00:16:36,066 --> 00:16:37,381
ever a version of you
398
00:16:37,383 --> 00:16:40,018
who imagined having a
"something old" at your wedding.
399
00:16:40,936 --> 00:16:43,321
Robin Scherbatsky--
you're a girl.
400
00:16:43,323 --> 00:16:44,555
Shut up. You're a girl.
401
00:16:44,557 --> 00:16:45,773
That's been established.
402
00:16:45,775 --> 00:16:48,693
The new information here
is that you're a girl.
403
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,164
Wait... is that...?
404
00:16:53,166 --> 00:16:55,366
Oh, my God, I found it.
405
00:16:58,504 --> 00:17:00,421
Okay...
406
00:17:00,423 --> 00:17:02,406
what's really going on
with this locket?
407
00:17:04,961 --> 00:17:06,427
I'm gonna admit something
that I couldn't admit
408
00:17:06,429 --> 00:17:07,795
until I found this.
409
00:17:09,098 --> 00:17:11,833
I've been having fears
about marrying Barney.
410
00:17:12,918 --> 00:17:14,302
I mean, in many ways,
411
00:17:14,304 --> 00:17:17,355
he's-he's grown up
into a mature, caring adult...
412
00:17:17,357 --> 00:17:20,191
I'm gonna shoot you
with your own gun.
413
00:17:22,696 --> 00:17:25,229
...but I still don't know
if he's ready for this.
414
00:17:26,315 --> 00:17:28,733
I still don't know if I am.
415
00:17:29,601 --> 00:17:31,786
But if I could find
this locket--
416
00:17:31,788 --> 00:17:34,438
if it was still here,
waiting for me--
417
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,290
that would mean
that the Universe
418
00:17:36,292 --> 00:17:37,792
wanted me to marry Barney.
419
00:17:37,794 --> 00:17:39,911
And that everything
was gonna be okay.
420
00:17:41,246 --> 00:17:43,881
And when it was gone,
it was like...
421
00:17:43,883 --> 00:17:47,552
every dot I-I ever had
about Barney,
422
00:17:47,554 --> 00:17:50,421
about myself, got dug up.
423
00:17:51,423 --> 00:17:53,091
But I found it.
424
00:17:54,176 --> 00:17:55,977
And everything's gonna be okay.
425
00:17:58,764 --> 00:18:00,898
Any last words?
426
00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:02,850
You know, seeing you
on the field of battle--
427
00:18:02,852 --> 00:18:06,104
ruthless, manipulative,
untrustworthy--
428
00:18:06,106 --> 00:18:09,240
you've got all the qualities
I would've wanted in a son.
429
00:18:10,642 --> 00:18:12,110
Now I say to you
430
00:18:12,112 --> 00:18:14,278
the last words
my father said to me:
431
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,497
"Shoot me already."
432
00:18:17,332 --> 00:18:20,985
Or we could keep playing,
if you want.
433
00:18:20,987 --> 00:18:23,838
Nah, it's stupid.
434
00:18:24,623 --> 00:18:27,158
Okay, Team Animal House,
I got him!
435
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:28,292
Come on out!
436
00:18:28,294 --> 00:18:29,544
You're point guy, R-dawg.
437
00:18:29,546 --> 00:18:31,879
Woof, woof.
438
00:18:54,037 --> 00:18:56,353
Oh, thank God.
439
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:09,967
This is a sign
from the Universe.
440
00:19:09,969 --> 00:19:11,385
It's not a sign
from the Universe...
441
00:19:11,387 --> 00:19:12,386
Yes, it is!
442
00:19:12,388 --> 00:19:13,921
The-the locket is just gone
443
00:19:13,923 --> 00:19:15,973
and you're telling me
that doesn't mean anything?
444
00:19:15,975 --> 00:19:19,594
You know this is a bad omen,
Ted-- you're Universe Guy!
445
00:19:19,596 --> 00:19:20,928
And you're Skeptic Girl!
446
00:19:20,930 --> 00:19:22,313
You're-you're not supposed
to believe any of that.
447
00:19:22,315 --> 00:19:25,216
Well, maybe I've grown skeptical
of being skeptical.
448
00:19:26,018 --> 00:19:28,052
This is a sign.
449
00:19:28,054 --> 00:19:29,187
Look, it's not a sign.
450
00:19:29,189 --> 00:19:31,405
You're doing the right thing
marrying Barney.
451
00:19:31,407 --> 00:19:34,108
The Universe isn't
sending you some message.
452
00:19:37,329 --> 00:19:38,896
As we know from science,
453
00:19:38,898 --> 00:19:42,700
rain is liquid water
in the form of droplets
454
00:19:42,702 --> 00:19:45,069
which have condensed
from atmospheric vapor
455
00:19:45,071 --> 00:19:46,403
and then precipitated.
456
00:19:46,405 --> 00:19:47,338
It's not a sign.
457
00:19:47,340 --> 00:19:50,574
Ted, this is a sign
and you know it.
458
00:19:50,576 --> 00:19:54,178
I mean, the Universe is
screaming at me right now!
459
00:19:54,180 --> 00:19:55,880
How-how-how can you,
of all people,
460
00:19:55,882 --> 00:19:57,548
tell me to ignore that?
461
00:19:57,550 --> 00:20:01,085
Because maybe it's dumb to look
for "signs from the Universe."
462
00:20:01,087 --> 00:20:03,938
I mean, maybe the Universe
has better things to do.
463
00:20:03,940 --> 00:20:05,690
Dear God, I hope it does.
464
00:20:05,692 --> 00:20:07,424
Do you know how many
"signs" I've gotten
465
00:20:07,426 --> 00:20:09,527
that I should or shouldn't
be with someone?
466
00:20:09,529 --> 00:20:11,445
And where has it gotten me?
467
00:20:12,564 --> 00:20:13,981
Maybe there aren't any signs.
468
00:20:13,983 --> 00:20:16,901
Maybe... maybe a locket's
just a locket,
469
00:20:16,903 --> 00:20:19,487
a chair is just a chair.
470
00:20:19,489 --> 00:20:20,738
Maybe we don't have to
471
00:20:20,740 --> 00:20:24,125
give meaning
to every little thing.
472
00:20:24,127 --> 00:20:26,294
Maybe we don't...
473
00:20:26,296 --> 00:20:28,212
maybe we don't need the Universe
474
00:20:28,214 --> 00:20:30,614
to tell us what we really want.
475
00:20:30,616 --> 00:20:34,168
Maybe we already know that,
deep down.
476
00:20:34,170 --> 00:20:37,421
♪ Sharpen them with lies
477
00:20:41,009 --> 00:20:46,814
♪ And whatever's going down
478
00:20:50,269 --> 00:20:54,138
♪ Will follow you around
479
00:20:54,140 --> 00:20:55,690
♪ That's how you fight
loneliness... ♪
480
00:20:55,692 --> 00:21:00,692
== sync, corrected by elderman ==