1 00:00:01,689 --> 00:00:04,008 Kids, I'll never forget the first time 2 00:00:04,011 --> 00:00:05,678 I told your mother I loved her. 3 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:07,696 It was a rainy day in New York. 4 00:00:07,698 --> 00:00:09,048 We just had a horrible lunch. 5 00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:11,016 The movie we wanted to see was sold out, 6 00:00:11,018 --> 00:00:12,101 and I just looked at her 7 00:00:12,103 --> 00:00:15,003 and said, "I love you." 8 00:00:15,005 --> 00:00:16,422 It was a big deal for me. 9 00:00:16,424 --> 00:00:19,024 I hadn't said that to a girl since... 10 00:00:19,026 --> 00:00:20,810 I love you, Robin. 11 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:23,362 I'm serious. 12 00:00:24,514 --> 00:00:27,316 Do you remember why we broke up in the first place? 13 00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:28,617 We asked each other, "Where do you want 14 00:00:28,619 --> 00:00:29,769 to be in five years?" 15 00:00:29,771 --> 00:00:32,988 And our answers were just too different. 16 00:00:32,990 --> 00:00:34,356 Well, it's five years later, 17 00:00:34,358 --> 00:00:37,543 and where are we? 18 00:00:37,545 --> 00:00:39,378 Standing on the roof 19 00:00:39,380 --> 00:00:42,197 where I kissed you for the first time. 20 00:00:43,467 --> 00:00:46,302 I know this is a lot to process, 21 00:00:46,304 --> 00:00:48,471 so no pressure here. 22 00:00:48,473 --> 00:00:52,057 Just... what do you think? 23 00:00:53,093 --> 00:00:54,543 You know what? You're exhausted, it's late. 24 00:00:54,545 --> 00:00:55,544 Let's just go to sleep. 25 00:00:55,546 --> 00:00:56,712 Well, good night. 26 00:01:00,517 --> 00:01:01,984 What the hell was that? 27 00:01:01,986 --> 00:01:03,486 Okay, I can fix this. 28 00:01:03,488 --> 00:01:07,706 I-I was just temporarily insane because of my Lyme disease, 29 00:01:07,708 --> 00:01:12,711 which I got on a camping trip that I didn't tell her about 30 00:01:12,713 --> 00:01:17,750 because... I go camping in secret. 31 00:01:17,752 --> 00:01:19,585 Perfect. 32 00:01:19,587 --> 00:01:21,670 Or I could say, "I'm sorry, we're great as friends. 33 00:01:21,672 --> 00:01:23,289 Let's just forget I ever said anything." 34 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:24,290 Yeah, that's probably better. 35 00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:26,375 Okay, here goes. 36 00:01:29,245 --> 00:01:32,247 I go camping in secret. 37 00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:39,360 ♪ How I Met Your Mother 7x17 ♪ No Pressure Original Air Date on February 20, 2012 38 00:01:39,361 --> 00:01:42,861 == sync, corrected by elderman == 39 00:01:52,184 --> 00:01:54,902 Wow, Ted, I... wow, okay. 40 00:01:54,904 --> 00:01:56,289 You got to give me a minute here. 41 00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,156 Yeah, of course. 42 00:01:58,158 --> 00:02:01,209 Okay, um, we need to t-talk about this. 43 00:02:01,211 --> 00:02:04,579 This time yesterday, I was in Vermont 44 00:02:04,581 --> 00:02:06,048 engaged to another man. 45 00:02:06,050 --> 00:02:10,052 I mean, it's been 24 hours of emotional mayhem, 46 00:02:10,054 --> 00:02:12,087 and, and the day is still not over. 47 00:02:12,089 --> 00:02:13,588 I mean, I swear to God, 48 00:02:13,590 --> 00:02:15,307 if there's any more surprises, I'm gonna hit someone! 49 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:18,960 ... comrade. 50 00:02:19,795 --> 00:02:21,096 That means, 51 00:02:21,098 --> 00:02:22,981 "Hello, coworker." 52 00:02:22,983 --> 00:02:24,966 You ready for our trip to Mother Russia? 53 00:02:24,968 --> 00:02:27,869 Oh, yeah, Aunt Robin was thrilled World Wide News 54 00:02:27,871 --> 00:02:29,821 asked her to go to Moscow to cover Maslenitsa. 55 00:02:29,823 --> 00:02:31,356 She was less thrilled to discover 56 00:02:31,358 --> 00:02:34,242 Maslenitsa is the city's annual butter festival. 57 00:02:34,244 --> 00:02:36,745 Even worse, she'd spend an entire week with all those 58 00:02:36,747 --> 00:02:40,399 buttery Russians and her archenemy Patrice. 59 00:02:40,401 --> 00:02:44,853 Uh, our flight leaves at 9:00 p.m., not a.m. 60 00:02:44,855 --> 00:02:47,539 God... Patrice! 61 00:02:47,541 --> 00:02:49,657 But, Robin, the schedule says 9:00 a.m. 62 00:02:49,659 --> 00:02:51,376 and my ticket says 9:00 a.m. 63 00:02:51,378 --> 00:02:53,512 and all the e-mail reminders said 9:00 a.m. 64 00:02:53,514 --> 00:02:55,380 and our boss in the car downstairs said... 65 00:02:55,382 --> 00:02:56,681 Okay, Patrice, I get it! 66 00:02:56,683 --> 00:02:57,849 Oh, no! 67 00:02:57,851 --> 00:02:59,468 Pair of pants coming in hot! 68 00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:00,685 Noise-canceling headphones. 69 00:03:00,687 --> 00:03:02,137 Oh, I don't need 'em. 70 00:03:02,139 --> 00:03:04,222 It's a ten-hour flight and your sitting next to Patrice. 71 00:03:04,224 --> 00:03:06,674 Oh, God, where's my cough syrup? 72 00:03:06,676 --> 00:03:07,793 You're gonna make it. 73 00:03:07,795 --> 00:03:09,010 I'll bring your bag down. 74 00:03:09,012 --> 00:03:10,695 Where are my shoes? Where are my shoes?! 75 00:03:10,697 --> 00:03:12,280 Don't worry. It's fine. 76 00:03:12,282 --> 00:03:13,482 And look, about all this... Just go. 77 00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:14,849 Good-bye. Bye. 78 00:03:17,670 --> 00:03:19,788 Why didn't I kiss her? 79 00:03:22,358 --> 00:03:24,659 We'll continue this when I get back. 80 00:03:34,220 --> 00:03:35,387 Hello. 81 00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:36,671 I know it's early, 82 00:03:36,673 --> 00:03:38,590 but can you meet me at the bar right now, alone? 83 00:03:38,592 --> 00:03:40,041 I'm on my way. 84 00:03:40,043 --> 00:03:41,560 I got to meet Ted at the bar. 85 00:03:41,562 --> 00:03:43,094 It's 7:00 a.m. 86 00:03:43,096 --> 00:03:47,098 Man, Ted really needs to work on his boundaries. 87 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:49,217 Shh, guys, seriously. 88 00:03:50,854 --> 00:03:52,487 Why are you in our bed? 89 00:03:52,489 --> 00:03:55,740 I took the drunk train and got stuck out here. 90 00:03:55,742 --> 00:03:58,226 Oh, God, I am so hungover. 91 00:03:58,228 --> 00:04:01,029 Oh, God, Lily's not wearing a bra! 92 00:04:01,031 --> 00:04:02,447 Shh! 93 00:04:02,449 --> 00:04:04,533 Bye, baby. 94 00:04:06,235 --> 00:04:07,836 Do you think...? 95 00:04:07,838 --> 00:04:09,588 Okay, I already know I don't want to hear this. 96 00:04:09,590 --> 00:04:11,423 Do you think that if we did it... 97 00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:13,241 Yeah, I was right. I don't want to hear this. 98 00:04:13,243 --> 00:04:15,260 ...and I did a really good job... 99 00:04:15,262 --> 00:04:16,511 Please leave. 100 00:04:16,513 --> 00:04:20,415 ...that I could turn that into my baby? 101 00:04:20,417 --> 00:04:22,750 I think I'm gonna throw up. 102 00:04:22,752 --> 00:04:25,470 Morning sickness? No. 103 00:04:27,607 --> 00:04:29,074 It's crazy, right? 104 00:04:29,076 --> 00:04:30,225 Are you shocked? 105 00:04:30,227 --> 00:04:32,477 No, I'm not shocked. You're in love with Robin. 106 00:04:32,479 --> 00:04:33,778 Do you remember back 107 00:04:33,780 --> 00:04:35,930 at Christmas when she was upset, you didn't even know why, 108 00:04:35,932 --> 00:04:38,400 and you spent eight hours setting up Christmas lights 109 00:04:38,402 --> 00:04:40,268 in the apartment just to cheer her up. 110 00:04:40,270 --> 00:04:42,437 That was a platonic friend thing. A platonic friend thing? 111 00:04:42,439 --> 00:04:45,156 Really? Ted, let me ask you a question. 112 00:04:45,158 --> 00:04:46,908 Would you have done that for me? 113 00:04:46,910 --> 00:04:49,744 You probably would have. You're such a good friend, Ted. 114 00:04:49,746 --> 00:04:51,746 You, too, buddy. 115 00:04:51,748 --> 00:04:52,964 I'm going into the city. 116 00:04:54,083 --> 00:04:55,800 Just, while I'm gone, 117 00:04:55,802 --> 00:04:57,252 don't go snooping around in our stuff. 118 00:04:57,254 --> 00:05:00,222 I know you think we have a sex tape hidden somewhere, 119 00:05:00,224 --> 00:05:03,692 so I'll save you the trouble. We don't. Good-bye. 120 00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:07,462 Here's that moment from Barney's perspective. 121 00:05:09,299 --> 00:05:11,566 We have a sex tape hidden somewhere. 122 00:05:15,404 --> 00:05:18,890 Challenge accepted. 123 00:05:18,892 --> 00:05:21,109 Robin again? 124 00:05:21,111 --> 00:05:23,411 Why does everyone keep going after Robin? 125 00:05:23,413 --> 00:05:25,947 How come no one ever takes a run at me? 126 00:05:25,949 --> 00:05:27,315 Barney hits on you every day. 127 00:05:27,317 --> 00:05:29,251 Yeah, but he just wants to bang me. 128 00:05:29,253 --> 00:05:30,485 I want something real. 129 00:05:30,487 --> 00:05:32,454 I know, babe. 130 00:05:32,456 --> 00:05:34,422 Double A Cleaning. 131 00:05:34,424 --> 00:05:35,490 Consuela, it's Barney. 132 00:05:35,492 --> 00:05:37,825 I need you and the girls for the afternoon. 133 00:05:37,827 --> 00:05:39,427 Of course, right away, Mr. Barney. 134 00:05:39,429 --> 00:05:40,545 Are you at home now? 135 00:05:40,547 --> 00:05:42,180 No, I'm at a house on Long Island. 136 00:05:42,182 --> 00:05:43,381 I'll text you the details. 137 00:05:43,383 --> 00:05:45,934 It's a big job. The place has been ransacked. 138 00:05:45,936 --> 00:05:47,802 We'll get right on it. 139 00:05:47,804 --> 00:05:49,304 Thanks, Consuela, you're the best. 140 00:05:53,609 --> 00:05:55,393 Ted, I know you're ready to go 141 00:05:55,395 --> 00:05:57,178 with this whole you-and-Robin thing, 142 00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:58,613 but is she ready to go? 143 00:05:58,615 --> 00:06:01,700 Is she ready to go? Um... 144 00:06:05,237 --> 00:06:08,156 Mmm, we'll continue this... 145 00:06:08,158 --> 00:06:10,208 when I get back. 146 00:06:12,194 --> 00:06:14,629 So... 147 00:06:14,631 --> 00:06:16,531 Are you sure that it wasn't...? 148 00:06:19,868 --> 00:06:22,671 We'll continue this when I get back. 149 00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:24,306 Okay. 150 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,260 What?! No! 151 00:06:29,262 --> 00:06:32,013 Damn it, Lily, why are you rooting against me? 152 00:06:32,015 --> 00:06:33,348 I'm not rooting against you. 153 00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:34,099 Yes, you are. 154 00:06:34,101 --> 00:06:35,216 No, I'm not. 155 00:06:35,218 --> 00:06:36,501 Yes, she was. 156 00:06:36,503 --> 00:06:38,553 You see, at that very moment... 157 00:06:43,659 --> 00:06:46,611 "Long-term bets"? 158 00:06:56,038 --> 00:06:57,455 Hmm. 159 00:07:11,554 --> 00:07:15,807 My God! They're placing bets on our lives. 160 00:07:15,809 --> 00:07:19,027 And I'm sorry, Ted cannot pull off bald. 161 00:07:19,029 --> 00:07:20,812 You know Ted. I'm right about this. 162 00:07:23,933 --> 00:07:27,318 Ted, I'm your best friend. Why would I root against you? 163 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:31,489 Lily bets Marshall that Ted and Robin won't end up together. 164 00:07:31,491 --> 00:07:33,608 That's why. 165 00:07:36,650 --> 00:07:38,517 So, Lily was betting against me and Robin. 166 00:07:38,794 --> 00:07:39,810 I just didn't know it. 167 00:07:39,812 --> 00:07:42,096 Okay, you want to make it work with Robin? 168 00:07:42,098 --> 00:07:44,231 You need to stay on her radar. 169 00:07:44,233 --> 00:07:46,183 Call her right now. 170 00:07:46,185 --> 00:07:47,651 She's on the plane. Her phone's off. 171 00:07:47,653 --> 00:07:49,403 Oh, my God! 172 00:07:49,405 --> 00:07:52,323 How adorable would it be if when the plane lands, 173 00:07:52,325 --> 00:07:53,440 she turns on her phone 174 00:07:53,442 --> 00:07:56,360 and her mailbox is full of messages from you?! 175 00:07:57,780 --> 00:08:00,424 Ted, don't leave her any voice mails. 176 00:08:00,449 --> 00:08:00,999 Why not? 177 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,483 Because... Because you need to go to Russia. 178 00:08:03,485 --> 00:08:04,868 With love! 179 00:08:04,870 --> 00:08:06,120 Surprise her. 180 00:08:06,122 --> 00:08:08,122 Make the-- in no way creepy-- 181 00:08:08,124 --> 00:08:12,993 grand romantic gesture that we all know Robin loves. 182 00:08:12,995 --> 00:08:14,962 Oh! 183 00:08:14,964 --> 00:08:17,431 So I just walk up to her in Red Square 184 00:08:17,433 --> 00:08:18,666 with a dozen roses? 185 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,301 Or float down to her 186 00:08:21,303 --> 00:08:23,053 in my hot air balloon 187 00:08:23,055 --> 00:08:25,356 with ten dozen roses! 188 00:08:25,358 --> 00:08:28,508 Yes, that's perfect! 189 00:08:28,510 --> 00:08:29,727 Not like this, Lily. 190 00:08:29,729 --> 00:08:31,344 Not like this. 191 00:08:31,346 --> 00:08:34,681 If you'll excuse me, I've got some sonnets to write. 192 00:08:34,683 --> 00:08:37,184 Stay put, Ted. You're gonna want to hear this. 193 00:08:38,987 --> 00:08:40,788 Guys, what's this? 194 00:08:40,790 --> 00:08:42,856 And Marshall and Lily explained. 195 00:08:42,858 --> 00:08:44,842 It all started ten years earlier. 196 00:08:44,844 --> 00:08:46,677 They had been looking for a new hobby 197 00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:48,412 they could do as a couple. 198 00:08:48,414 --> 00:08:51,031 I already missed the beginner's lesson. 199 00:08:51,033 --> 00:08:52,633 Maybe I shouldn't even go. 200 00:08:53,835 --> 00:08:55,052 Ah, screw it. 201 00:08:55,054 --> 00:08:57,471 I've seen the Olympics. I know what I'm doing. 202 00:08:57,473 --> 00:08:59,673 I'm going skiing, bitches! 203 00:09:12,388 --> 00:09:13,854 He's gonna break his leg. 204 00:09:13,856 --> 00:09:15,322 He's not gonna break his leg. 205 00:09:15,324 --> 00:09:16,907 20 bucks says he does. 206 00:09:20,528 --> 00:09:22,546 "Lily bets Marshall 207 00:09:22,548 --> 00:09:26,450 that Ted will break his leg skiing." 208 00:09:30,872 --> 00:09:33,023 You would be amazed. 209 00:09:33,025 --> 00:09:36,026 People fall off ski lifts all the time. 210 00:09:36,028 --> 00:09:38,745 Well, I gotta hit the head. 211 00:09:43,968 --> 00:09:48,021 Well, he didn't break his leg. 212 00:09:48,023 --> 00:09:50,257 Yeah, I gotta say that, um, 213 00:09:50,259 --> 00:09:53,644 making money off this bet just makes me feel... 214 00:09:53,646 --> 00:09:55,245 More alive than you've felt in years? 215 00:09:55,247 --> 00:09:57,264 Yes! New hobby! 216 00:09:58,934 --> 00:10:01,785 We need a cash box, some glitter and some glue! 217 00:10:01,787 --> 00:10:04,321 You've been betting on us? 218 00:10:04,323 --> 00:10:06,240 Like we're a couple of hobos 219 00:10:06,242 --> 00:10:07,791 fighting over a sandwich 220 00:10:07,793 --> 00:10:10,277 in some psycho preppy kid's backyard? 221 00:10:10,279 --> 00:10:12,663 No, this is just what happens in marriage. 222 00:10:12,665 --> 00:10:13,630 You get bored. 223 00:10:13,632 --> 00:10:15,332 You run out of things to do. 224 00:10:15,334 --> 00:10:16,783 We were making models. 225 00:10:16,785 --> 00:10:18,502 You single people are out there 226 00:10:18,504 --> 00:10:20,921 with the drinking and the sleeping around... 227 00:10:20,923 --> 00:10:22,256 Model airplanes. 228 00:10:22,258 --> 00:10:24,457 The grinding and the bumping 229 00:10:24,459 --> 00:10:26,293 and the hot sweaty bodies. 230 00:10:26,295 --> 00:10:28,628 ...with little propellers that spin. 231 00:10:28,630 --> 00:10:30,564 Oh, this one looks interesting. 232 00:10:30,566 --> 00:10:32,632 Lily, I thought you said you wanted to. 233 00:10:32,634 --> 00:10:33,851 It was your idea. 234 00:10:33,853 --> 00:10:37,237 I starved myself for a week to get camera-ready. 235 00:10:37,239 --> 00:10:39,039 You had a bear claw for breakfast. 236 00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:41,241 Yeah, a bear claw. 237 00:10:41,243 --> 00:10:43,476 I-I changed my mind. 238 00:10:43,478 --> 00:10:47,480 I-I just don't want Barney to see us doing it. 239 00:10:47,482 --> 00:10:49,283 Barney is never gonna see this. 240 00:10:49,285 --> 00:10:51,484 Oh, come on. It's Barney. 241 00:10:51,486 --> 00:10:54,338 Eventually, somehow he's gonna see it. 242 00:10:54,340 --> 00:10:55,522 Want to bet? 243 00:10:55,524 --> 00:11:00,377 So there really is a sex tape. 244 00:11:06,968 --> 00:11:10,437 Anyhoozles, just... long-term bets, 245 00:11:10,439 --> 00:11:12,272 just a silly thing we do. 246 00:11:12,274 --> 00:11:13,506 What about you, Ted? 247 00:11:13,508 --> 00:11:15,675 Your hair's looking good. 248 00:11:15,677 --> 00:11:18,228 "Lily bets Marshall that Ted and Robin 249 00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:19,780 won't end up together." 250 00:11:21,015 --> 00:11:22,950 Wow. 251 00:11:22,952 --> 00:11:25,569 So now it's becoming clear why... 252 00:11:25,571 --> 00:11:28,121 you've been trying to sabotage my future happiness. 253 00:11:28,123 --> 00:11:29,540 To win a bet. 254 00:11:29,542 --> 00:11:30,707 Come on, Ted. 255 00:11:30,709 --> 00:11:32,826 We made that bet so long ago. 256 00:11:32,828 --> 00:11:36,747 And boy, it's been a real nail-biter. 257 00:11:36,749 --> 00:11:39,216 Ted and Stella got engaged. 258 00:11:39,218 --> 00:11:40,384 Pay up. 259 00:11:40,386 --> 00:11:41,869 Not yet. 260 00:11:41,871 --> 00:11:43,870 We are driving to the wedding. 261 00:11:43,872 --> 00:11:45,205 Pay up. 262 00:11:45,207 --> 00:11:47,207 Not yet. 263 00:11:48,376 --> 00:11:51,011 We are at the wedding. 264 00:11:51,013 --> 00:11:52,045 Pay up. 265 00:11:52,047 --> 00:11:53,713 Not yet. 266 00:11:56,434 --> 00:11:58,835 Damn it. 267 00:11:58,837 --> 00:12:00,687 I can't believe you guys! 268 00:12:00,689 --> 00:12:01,939 I got left at the alter, 269 00:12:01,941 --> 00:12:03,774 and all you cared about was some stupid bet? 270 00:12:03,776 --> 00:12:06,526 I never stopped rooting for you, but I... 271 00:12:06,528 --> 00:12:08,528 Ted, I'm not rooting against you. 272 00:12:08,530 --> 00:12:10,864 I just don't think Robin's the girl you marry. 273 00:12:10,866 --> 00:12:13,533 That's why I made the stupid bet to begin with. 274 00:12:13,535 --> 00:12:15,669 I mean, yes, it's five years later, 275 00:12:15,671 --> 00:12:17,537 and you haven't settled down with anyone else, 276 00:12:17,539 --> 00:12:20,524 but you haven't settled down with Robin, either. 277 00:12:21,259 --> 00:12:22,876 There must be a reason for that. 278 00:12:22,878 --> 00:12:24,761 What's standing in the way? 279 00:12:32,220 --> 00:12:33,437 God... 280 00:12:33,439 --> 00:12:36,523 if you help me find this sex tape, 281 00:12:36,525 --> 00:12:38,859 I am going to make some changes in my life. 282 00:12:38,861 --> 00:12:41,361 I am going to stop sleeping around, 283 00:12:41,363 --> 00:12:44,147 quit drinking so much, no more shenanigans. 284 00:12:44,149 --> 00:12:46,817 I am going to devote my entire life 285 00:12:46,819 --> 00:12:50,537 to doing good deeds, and praising your name. 286 00:12:50,539 --> 00:12:52,772 Is this what you're looking for, Mr. Barney? 287 00:12:54,409 --> 00:12:56,126 Never mind, bro. Found it. 288 00:12:58,129 --> 00:12:59,880 I found it! 289 00:12:59,882 --> 00:13:03,083 Sweet glory hallelujah, I found it, Ted. 290 00:13:03,085 --> 00:13:05,452 You're the only idiot I know who still owns a VCR, 291 00:13:05,454 --> 00:13:07,120 so you are the lucky winner of the 292 00:13:07,122 --> 00:13:09,622 "Who gets to sit next to me and watch our best friends 293 00:13:09,624 --> 00:13:11,725 go bananas all over each other"" sweepstakes. 294 00:13:11,727 --> 00:13:14,811 To the outdated viewing device! 295 00:13:14,813 --> 00:13:16,763 And then I realized why Robin and I 296 00:13:16,765 --> 00:13:19,232 hadn't gotten back together in the last five years. 297 00:13:19,234 --> 00:13:21,485 Oh, my God. 298 00:13:21,487 --> 00:13:23,337 Robin's in love with you. 299 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,809 I can't believe I didn't see it before. 300 00:13:31,909 --> 00:13:33,509 Robin is in love with you. 301 00:13:33,511 --> 00:13:35,945 No, she's not. Trust me. 302 00:13:35,947 --> 00:13:37,413 Yes, she is. 303 00:13:37,415 --> 00:13:39,598 Something happened between you guys. 304 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,250 That's why you broke up with Nora. 305 00:13:41,252 --> 00:13:44,103 That night, I saw you in her room, 306 00:13:44,105 --> 00:13:46,722 there were rose petals, candles... 307 00:13:46,724 --> 00:13:48,524 You saw that? 308 00:13:48,526 --> 00:13:50,643 Well, then, maybe you also saw 309 00:13:50,645 --> 00:13:53,646 those rose petals and candles going into a garbage bag. 310 00:13:53,648 --> 00:13:55,865 And then Barney told me everything. 311 00:13:55,867 --> 00:13:58,484 How he and Robin hooked up. 312 00:13:58,486 --> 00:14:01,570 How he broke up with Nora to be with her. 313 00:14:01,572 --> 00:14:04,657 How he thought she would do the same for him. 314 00:14:04,659 --> 00:14:07,410 How she broke his heart. 315 00:14:10,997 --> 00:14:12,965 She chose Kevin. 316 00:14:12,967 --> 00:14:15,468 It hurt, but... 317 00:14:15,470 --> 00:14:17,086 I guess they're in love. 318 00:14:17,088 --> 00:14:18,521 They broke up last night. 319 00:14:18,523 --> 00:14:20,673 Bummer. 320 00:14:20,675 --> 00:14:23,976 Anyway, let's make our own bets about this sex tape. 321 00:14:23,978 --> 00:14:26,429 I've got Marshall with a surprise piercing 322 00:14:26,431 --> 00:14:27,897 at five-to-one odds, 323 00:14:27,899 --> 00:14:30,566 Lily with a landing strip, ten-to-one, 324 00:14:30,568 --> 00:14:32,435 Marshall with a landing strip, even money. 325 00:14:32,437 --> 00:14:34,937 I don't believe this. 326 00:14:34,939 --> 00:14:36,439 You were in love with Robin, 327 00:14:36,441 --> 00:14:38,657 you find out she's single, and your reaction is "Bummer"? 328 00:14:38,659 --> 00:14:39,775 What do you want me to say, Ted? 329 00:14:39,777 --> 00:14:42,445 Whatever I thought was there, 330 00:14:42,447 --> 00:14:45,231 she thought differently. 331 00:14:45,233 --> 00:14:48,117 So... no, I don't care that Robin is single again. 332 00:14:48,119 --> 00:14:52,004 So if Robin started dating someone else, you wouldn't mind? 333 00:14:52,006 --> 00:14:53,089 Nope. 334 00:14:53,091 --> 00:14:55,758 Even if that somebody else was me? 335 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:59,845 Even if that somebody else was you. 336 00:14:59,847 --> 00:15:01,697 Really? Really. 337 00:15:01,699 --> 00:15:03,866 Hey, bros before hos, right? 338 00:15:04,768 --> 00:15:06,502 No matter how mad she made me, 339 00:15:06,504 --> 00:15:09,121 Robin's still my bro. 340 00:15:09,123 --> 00:15:11,040 And if, uh, you make her happy, 341 00:15:11,042 --> 00:15:13,675 then that makes me happy. 342 00:15:13,677 --> 00:15:17,229 Barney, you've really grown up, you know that? 343 00:15:17,231 --> 00:15:18,697 Thanks. 344 00:15:18,699 --> 00:15:21,283 Now let's watch our two best friends have sex on tape. 345 00:15:21,285 --> 00:15:22,868 I'll make the popcorn. 346 00:15:24,122 --> 00:15:25,204 Don't watch that tape! 347 00:15:25,206 --> 00:15:27,123 Watch that tape! 348 00:15:27,125 --> 00:15:28,690 Well, sorry, I just really want to win the bet. 349 00:15:28,692 --> 00:15:30,359 And here we go. 350 00:15:30,361 --> 00:15:32,795 O-okay. Okay, fine, Barney. 351 00:15:32,797 --> 00:15:34,964 Watch our dirty little home movie, but be forewarned, 352 00:15:34,966 --> 00:15:37,299 at about the one minute mark, 353 00:15:37,301 --> 00:15:39,168 you're going to see me make this face. 354 00:15:41,221 --> 00:15:43,139 Oh, God, that's the face you made 355 00:15:43,141 --> 00:15:44,473 the day we rode motorcycles. Yeah. 356 00:15:44,475 --> 00:15:45,925 Yeah. You really want to see that? 357 00:15:45,927 --> 00:15:48,644 A-and do you want to hear me go, uh... 358 00:15:52,483 --> 00:15:55,217 It can't sound like that. It can't. 359 00:15:55,219 --> 00:15:56,986 I know that noise, I've heard it through the walls. 360 00:15:56,988 --> 00:15:58,571 I thought the neighbors had a sick cat. 361 00:15:58,573 --> 00:15:59,738 Okay, but, Barney, just remember, 362 00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:01,690 you'll also be seeing a lot of this: 363 00:16:01,692 --> 00:16:04,026 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 364 00:16:04,028 --> 00:16:05,744 It's this, but I'm not pregnant. 365 00:16:05,746 --> 00:16:09,081 My skin is loose, like an elephant. 366 00:16:09,083 --> 00:16:11,367 My boobs are perky and plump. 367 00:16:11,369 --> 00:16:13,452 I slobber like a confused old dog. 368 00:16:13,454 --> 00:16:15,788 I slap my own ass. I slap my own ass! 369 00:16:20,343 --> 00:16:22,744 Barney... 370 00:16:22,746 --> 00:16:24,013 that was my VCR. 371 00:16:24,015 --> 00:16:26,131 Ted... 372 00:16:26,133 --> 00:16:28,350 it was a VCR. 373 00:16:32,022 --> 00:16:34,023 A week later, I picked Robin up at the airport. 374 00:16:35,025 --> 00:16:37,276 ♪ 375 00:16:40,530 --> 00:16:43,315 ♪ 376 00:16:43,317 --> 00:16:46,235 And took her out to dinner at her favorite restaurant. 377 00:16:48,104 --> 00:16:51,273 And by the end of the night, one thing had become clear: 378 00:16:51,275 --> 00:16:53,626 It's not going to happen, is it? 379 00:16:55,162 --> 00:16:56,378 I'm sorry. 380 00:16:58,965 --> 00:17:00,466 It's because of Barney. 381 00:17:00,468 --> 00:17:01,934 What? 382 00:17:01,936 --> 00:17:03,469 No. 383 00:17:03,471 --> 00:17:04,920 Barney and I... we... 384 00:17:04,922 --> 00:17:08,057 No. No. It's just... 385 00:17:08,059 --> 00:17:11,410 You know, things have just been so crazy lately. 386 00:17:12,295 --> 00:17:15,965 Everything in my life is... unstable. 387 00:17:15,967 --> 00:17:19,151 I mean, you're one of the few things that I can count on. 388 00:17:20,237 --> 00:17:23,805 And... I really don't want to mess that up. 389 00:17:24,807 --> 00:17:28,027 We-we... we still have our deal, right? 390 00:17:28,029 --> 00:17:31,647 If we're both still... single when we're 40? 391 00:17:31,649 --> 00:17:33,815 Yeah. Yeah. 392 00:17:36,453 --> 00:17:38,621 No. Look... I'm sorry. 393 00:17:38,623 --> 00:17:40,623 I-I can't do that anymore. 394 00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,342 As long as the door is even a little bit open, 395 00:17:43,344 --> 00:17:45,628 I have this feeling that I'll just be... 396 00:17:45,630 --> 00:17:49,265 waiting around to see if I win the lottery when you turn 40. 397 00:17:50,433 --> 00:17:53,052 I think you know how you feel about me now, 398 00:17:53,054 --> 00:17:56,956 and... I don't think time's going to change that. 399 00:17:58,007 --> 00:18:00,842 Just tell me. 400 00:18:00,844 --> 00:18:02,611 Do you love me? 401 00:18:08,451 --> 00:18:10,636 No. 402 00:18:18,245 --> 00:18:19,962 I'm sorry. 403 00:18:19,964 --> 00:18:21,830 We're great as friends. 404 00:18:21,832 --> 00:18:22,998 Let's just... 405 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,700 Let's just forget I ever said anything. 406 00:18:31,759 --> 00:18:33,642 Bar. Alone. Now. 407 00:18:33,644 --> 00:18:35,094 It's just a bump in the road. 408 00:18:35,096 --> 00:18:36,729 You guys are meant to be together. 409 00:18:36,731 --> 00:18:38,097 You can't give up. 410 00:18:38,099 --> 00:18:39,381 You... i-it can still happen. 411 00:18:39,383 --> 00:18:40,482 No. Marshall... 412 00:18:40,484 --> 00:18:42,101 What about the hot air balloon thing, 413 00:18:42,103 --> 00:18:43,852 with the ten dozen roses? 414 00:18:43,854 --> 00:18:45,654 And how's the sonnet coming, buddy? Dude. 415 00:18:45,656 --> 00:18:48,073 You bet on the wrong horse. Let it go. 416 00:18:48,858 --> 00:18:50,559 Believe it or not, 417 00:18:50,561 --> 00:18:52,277 I'm happy about this. I'm... 418 00:18:52,279 --> 00:18:54,330 I can finally move on. 419 00:18:55,332 --> 00:18:56,832 This is a good thing. 420 00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:59,001 Really. 421 00:19:04,257 --> 00:19:05,407 Hey, Robin. 422 00:19:05,409 --> 00:19:06,875 Oh, hey. Hey. 423 00:19:06,877 --> 00:19:09,077 Hey. Uh, look, before I forget, here's Lily's hairdryer. 424 00:19:09,079 --> 00:19:11,597 I borrowed it, like, a million years ago. 425 00:19:11,599 --> 00:19:13,098 Yeah, you can keep that. 426 00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:14,433 Um... Hey, listen, 427 00:19:14,435 --> 00:19:16,084 Ted told me what happened with you guys, 428 00:19:16,086 --> 00:19:17,853 and he says that he's at peace with it. 429 00:19:17,855 --> 00:19:19,588 Oh, really? 430 00:19:19,590 --> 00:19:21,140 That's good. 431 00:19:22,559 --> 00:19:23,925 He's lying, Robin. 432 00:19:23,927 --> 00:19:27,312 He's trying to be strong, but it's killing him, 433 00:19:27,314 --> 00:19:30,232 and so, as his best friend, 434 00:19:30,234 --> 00:19:32,201 I have to say something that... 435 00:19:32,203 --> 00:19:34,536 he loves you just way too much to say. 436 00:19:35,772 --> 00:19:38,223 You gotta move out. 437 00:19:40,109 --> 00:19:42,378 I know. 438 00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:45,748 ♪ And all of the ghouls come out to play ♪ 439 00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:50,386 ♪ And every demon wants his pound of flesh ♪ 440 00:19:50,388 --> 00:19:54,456 ♪ But I like to keep some things to myself ♪ 441 00:19:54,458 --> 00:19:58,677 ♪ I like to keep my issues strong ♪ 442 00:19:58,679 --> 00:20:03,532 ♪ It's always darkest before the dawn ♪ 443 00:20:03,534 --> 00:20:08,353 ♪ And I've been a fool and I've been blind ♪ 444 00:20:08,355 --> 00:20:12,241 ♪ I can never leave the past behind ♪ 445 00:20:12,243 --> 00:20:14,326 ♪ I can see no way 446 00:20:14,328 --> 00:20:17,996 ♪ I can see no way ♪ 447 00:20:17,998 --> 00:20:20,733 ♪ I'm always dragging that horse around ♪ 448 00:20:23,003 --> 00:20:26,371 In my own crazy way, I was kind of happy. 449 00:20:26,373 --> 00:20:29,675 For the first time in years, there was no little part of me 450 00:20:29,677 --> 00:20:32,160 clinging to the dream of being with Robin. 451 00:20:32,162 --> 00:20:34,763 Which meant, for the first time in years, 452 00:20:34,765 --> 00:20:36,381 the world was wide open. 453 00:20:36,383 --> 00:20:38,250 Because, kids... 454 00:20:38,252 --> 00:20:40,335 when a door closes, 455 00:20:40,337 --> 00:20:42,938 well... 456 00:20:42,940 --> 00:20:44,973 ♪ Shake it out, shake it out 457 00:20:44,975 --> 00:20:46,942 ...you know the rest. 458 00:20:46,944 --> 00:20:49,111 ♪ And it's hard to dance 459 00:20:49,113 --> 00:20:50,946 ♪ With a devil on your back 460 00:20:50,948 --> 00:20:52,815 ♪ So shake him off 461 00:20:52,817 --> 00:20:56,318 ♪ Oh, whoa... 462 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,320 - For Ted's sake, - I hate to say this, 463 00:20:58,322 --> 00:21:01,043 but... pay up. 464 00:21:03,593 --> 00:21:04,793 Not yet. 465 00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:09,031 == sync, corrected by elderman ==