1
00:00:02,692 --> 00:00:04,743
Kids, Einstein was right.
2
00:00:04,847 --> 00:00:06,847
Time moves at different speeds.
3
00:00:06,849 --> 00:00:09,633
To Barney, the previous night
raced by in a blur.
4
00:00:11,736 --> 00:00:13,170
But then, all of a sudden,
5
00:00:13,172 --> 00:00:15,789
time stopped.
6
00:00:15,791 --> 00:00:17,991
This might be the worst
thing I've ever done.
7
00:00:17,993 --> 00:00:19,609
Hey, now,
8
00:00:19,611 --> 00:00:22,345
you weren't at the top of your
game, but it was still pretty...
9
00:00:22,347 --> 00:00:23,680
Oh, my God!
10
00:00:23,682 --> 00:00:25,065
I just cheated
on Kevin.
11
00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:26,984
He is the nicest guy ever.
12
00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:28,986
I'm a terrible person.
13
00:00:28,988 --> 00:00:30,153
It's okay.
14
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:31,455
We both cheated.
15
00:00:31,457 --> 00:00:34,458
What's that saying about
two wrongs making a right?
16
00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:36,126
"Two wrongs don't make a right"?
17
00:00:36,128 --> 00:00:38,829
No, that's not it.
18
00:00:38,831 --> 00:00:40,464
Oh, my God.
19
00:00:40,466 --> 00:00:41,915
I just cheated on Nora.
20
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,700
How could I do this to her?
What are we gonna do?
21
00:00:43,702 --> 00:00:44,584
I don't know.
22
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,086
Well...
23
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:49,089
Can I ask you, did
this mean anything?
24
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,557
Of course it did.
25
00:00:51,309 --> 00:00:52,759
Of course it didn't.
26
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,378
Which one are you looking for?
I could see it going either way.
27
00:00:55,380 --> 00:00:57,397
It meant nothing.
It meant nothing!
28
00:00:57,399 --> 00:00:58,765
How could you say
it meant nothing?!
29
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,100
Of course it meant something!
30
00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:02,019
No, it didn't! It can't.
31
00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:06,823
Okay? You're with Nora,
and I'm with Kevin and...
32
00:01:06,825 --> 00:01:08,108
I have to go.
33
00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,409
Wait, what are
we gonna tell them?
34
00:01:09,411 --> 00:01:10,410
Nothing.
35
00:01:10,412 --> 00:01:12,612
God! We made a
horrible mistake.
36
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,064
But it-it is over now.
37
00:01:14,066 --> 00:01:16,700
There's no reason to hurt more
people by talking about it.
38
00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:20,037
You're asking me to lie?
39
00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:22,372
That's... fine.
40
00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:23,457
Damn it.
41
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:25,208
Nora and I have that work cruise
tomorrow night.
42
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,510
We're all supposed
to go together.
43
00:01:26,512 --> 00:01:30,380
Okay, I know this is thinking
way, way out of the box,
44
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,133
but what if-- and hear me out--
45
00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:34,634
we don't go?
46
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,219
No.
47
00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:39,089
I just want this whole night
to fade into history,
48
00:01:39,091 --> 00:01:41,558
so we have to act like
it never happened.
49
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:42,759
We should go.
50
00:01:42,761 --> 00:01:44,761
I mean, it's a three-hour
boat ride--
51
00:01:44,763 --> 00:01:45,862
what could happen?
52
00:01:45,864 --> 00:01:49,403
I'm sure that's what Gilligan.
53
00:01:49,404 --> 00:01:53,404
♪ How I Met Your Mother 7x10 ♪
Tick Tick Tick
Original Air Date on November 14, 2011
54
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:57,405
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
55
00:02:05,319 --> 00:02:07,220
Groovapalooza!
56
00:02:07,338 --> 00:02:10,022
All the smug hippie bands from
the '90s in one big concert
57
00:02:11,682 --> 00:02:13,116
Ah, even the tickets
58
00:02:13,118 --> 00:02:14,734
smell like cloves
and mediocrity.
59
00:02:14,736 --> 00:02:16,552
Ah, to really
take us back,
60
00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:20,356
I scored us bag
of, yes, mari...
61
00:02:20,358 --> 00:02:22,625
Kids, we used to do something
before concerts
62
00:02:22,627 --> 00:02:23,960
to enjoy them more.
63
00:02:23,962 --> 00:02:26,696
And that thing was to...
eat a sandwich.
64
00:02:26,698 --> 00:02:28,381
...nated steak subs.
65
00:02:28,383 --> 00:02:29,799
Oh, yeah!
66
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:34,137
Well, as future parents,
we'll pass on the sandwiches.
67
00:02:34,139 --> 00:02:36,222
How could you even suggest
such a thing, Ted?!
68
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:38,307
I better
get my 60 bucks back.
69
00:02:38,309 --> 00:02:39,726
No sandwich?
70
00:02:39,728 --> 00:02:41,761
Marshall, it's a palooza.
71
00:02:41,763 --> 00:02:43,813
We've eaten sandwiches
at every palooza.
72
00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:45,765
Lollapalooza, Funkapalooza...
73
00:02:45,767 --> 00:02:48,434
Gender-diversity-awareness-
palooza, junior year.
74
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:50,737
Yeah, there were
some real bitches there.
75
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,072
Okay, quick,
76
00:02:53,074 --> 00:02:55,491
before Lily gets here,
let's fire this up.
77
00:02:55,493 --> 00:02:58,227
No way. I promised Lily
that I would be responsible.
78
00:02:58,229 --> 00:02:59,662
You're not getting
your 60 bucks back.
79
00:02:59,664 --> 00:03:01,447
Give me that.
80
00:03:09,958 --> 00:03:11,424
Hey, how you
holding up?
81
00:03:11,426 --> 00:03:14,043
Well, I'm about to be
trapped on boat all night
82
00:03:14,045 --> 00:03:16,629
with the guy I cheated on,
the guy I cheated with
83
00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:19,081
and the girl that the guy
I cheated with cheated on.
84
00:03:19,083 --> 00:03:20,383
So, not super.
85
00:03:20,385 --> 00:03:21,584
Hi, Sandy.
86
00:03:21,586 --> 00:03:22,802
You're welcome.
87
00:03:22,804 --> 00:03:24,854
I did not say "Thank you."
88
00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:26,755
Oh, you're too kind.
89
00:03:26,757 --> 00:03:28,524
Too kind.
90
00:03:28,526 --> 00:03:30,309
Excuse me, I
should really try
91
00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:32,061
to have sex with
that new intern.
92
00:03:32,063 --> 00:03:35,198
Robin's boss, Sandy Rivers
hosted this cruise every year,
93
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,567
mostly to hit on
the new employees.
94
00:03:37,569 --> 00:03:40,987
And he'd found a clever way
to never spend a cent.
95
00:03:40,989 --> 00:03:42,438
Up next, another four deaths
96
00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,441
in Arizona's record-breaking
heat wave.
97
00:03:45,443 --> 00:03:47,877
You want real
record-breaking heat?
98
00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:52,715
Try Kristoff's Jalapeño
Coconut Vodka martini.
99
00:03:52,717 --> 00:03:56,419
Muy caliente!
100
00:03:56,421 --> 00:03:57,753
Okay, Nora and Kevin
101
00:03:57,755 --> 00:03:59,505
are gonna be here any minute.
102
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,591
I thought I could handle this,
but I can't.
103
00:04:01,593 --> 00:04:03,009
Okay, um, here's the plan.
104
00:04:03,011 --> 00:04:05,311
We'll grab one of the
lifeboats, get back to shore,
105
00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:06,896
destroy the tape
of us doing it...
106
00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:08,064
There's a tape of us doing it?
107
00:04:08,066 --> 00:04:09,599
...and we'll start
a new life together.
108
00:04:09,601 --> 00:04:12,902
Somewhere simple and homey,
like Vermont or Dubai.
109
00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:14,937
Wait, is that what you want?
110
00:04:14,939 --> 00:04:17,073
For us to be together?
111
00:04:17,075 --> 00:04:18,140
Hey, Robin.
112
00:04:18,142 --> 00:04:20,193
Oh, God, I really
can't do this.
113
00:04:20,195 --> 00:04:22,528
Don't worry. Just follow my lead
and keep cool.
114
00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:23,779
Hey, guys!
115
00:04:23,781 --> 00:04:25,698
They know!
116
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:28,984
Oh, no.
117
00:04:28,986 --> 00:04:33,589
I think that sandwich was
laced with other stuff.
118
00:04:33,591 --> 00:04:35,091
Like, hard meats.
119
00:04:35,093 --> 00:04:36,051
What do you mean?
120
00:04:36,393 --> 00:04:40,113
Well, usually after a sandwich,
I feel paranoid. But I'm not.
121
00:04:41,432 --> 00:04:42,932
Why am I not
feeling paranoid?!
122
00:04:42,934 --> 00:04:44,934
What do you mean?
Calm down, dude!
123
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,769
We'll be fine.
124
00:04:46,771 --> 00:04:48,971
Lily's gonna know.
125
00:04:48,973 --> 00:04:51,340
Listen to me.
126
00:04:51,342 --> 00:04:55,027
Whatever we were just
talking about...
127
00:04:55,029 --> 00:04:56,979
we'll be fine.
128
00:04:56,981 --> 00:04:58,981
You're right, she
won't find out.
129
00:04:58,983 --> 00:04:59,949
Hey, guy
130
00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:02,285
She knows!
131
00:05:02,287 --> 00:05:03,452
Good evening.
132
00:05:03,454 --> 00:05:06,289
A special welcome
our four new interns:
133
00:05:06,291 --> 00:05:08,708
Erika... and so on.
134
00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:10,910
One safety matter:
life preservers are
135
00:05:10,912 --> 00:05:13,162
on the side rails,
in case anyone falls overboard.
136
00:05:13,164 --> 00:05:16,198
That's it.
Have a good night.
137
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,583
Don't drink too much.
138
00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:18,885
Or do.
139
00:05:21,138 --> 00:05:23,205
Beautiful night,
huh, gang?
140
00:05:23,207 --> 00:05:25,558
Yeah, Robin and I
were just cheating--
141
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,977
chatting about
how warm it is.
142
00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:30,546
I'm breaking a
trust-- sweat
143
00:05:30,548 --> 00:05:31,564
in here.
144
00:05:33,184 --> 00:05:35,985
And I thought
we'd be cuckold.
145
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:38,070
I know why you're
so nervous, Barney.
146
00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:39,555
You do?
147
00:05:39,557 --> 00:05:41,941
You're meeting Nora's parents
tomorrow night, right?
148
00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:44,827
That's it!
That's it!
149
00:05:44,829 --> 00:05:45,661
Let's dance!
150
00:05:45,663 --> 00:05:47,413
Bah!
Whoo!
151
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:53,452
Lily has no idea I'm high.
152
00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:54,870
You're high?
153
00:05:54,872 --> 00:05:57,573
I'm sorry.
154
00:05:59,876 --> 00:06:03,045
Lily has no idea I'm high.
155
00:06:03,047 --> 00:06:04,797
Okay, well, if
your pregnant wife
156
00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:07,133
has to sit here
sober all night,
157
00:06:07,135 --> 00:06:10,019
she's gonna need
some of them nachos.
158
00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:11,721
You got it.
159
00:06:11,723 --> 00:06:13,222
Hey, dude, fork over
some of them nach...
160
00:06:13,224 --> 00:06:14,390
No, not his.
161
00:06:14,392 --> 00:06:15,924
My own.
162
00:06:15,926 --> 00:06:17,693
Ah. Smart.
163
00:06:17,695 --> 00:06:19,312
Come on, Ted.
164
00:06:19,314 --> 00:06:20,646
What?
165
00:06:24,568 --> 00:06:29,739
And thus began the most
harrowing journey of our lives.
166
00:06:29,741 --> 00:06:32,792
To this day,
Robin and Barney swear
167
00:06:32,794 --> 00:06:34,577
this is the song
they danced to that night.
168
00:06:34,579 --> 00:06:39,131
♪ You fooled around
on your baby ♪
169
00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:42,618
♪ Now the least you could do
is to tell her the truth ♪
170
00:06:42,620 --> 00:06:44,253
♪ Yes, you in the suit ♪
171
00:06:44,255 --> 00:06:47,173
♪ Or that secret
will eat up your soul ♪
172
00:06:47,175 --> 00:06:50,726
♪ Girl, the guilt's
gonna drive you crazy ♪
173
00:06:50,728 --> 00:06:52,511
♪ Crazy ♪
174
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,814
♪ You can't live with this lie,
Kevin's such a nice guy ♪
175
00:06:54,816 --> 00:06:56,682
♪ Gotta tell him tonight ♪
176
00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:58,801
♪ Tell them right here
on this boat ♪
177
00:06:58,803 --> 00:07:03,105
♪ You're like scum round
the edge of a toilet bowl ♪
178
00:07:03,107 --> 00:07:05,324
♪ Flush ♪
179
00:07:05,326 --> 00:07:09,144
♪ What the hell is in the place
where you should have a soul? ♪
180
00:07:09,146 --> 00:07:10,079
♪ Slut ♪
181
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:11,530
♪ You did these two wrong ♪
182
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,032
♪ Don't wt too long ♪
183
00:07:13,034 --> 00:07:14,617
♪ In fact, you know what? ♪
184
00:07:14,619 --> 00:07:18,671
♪ Tell them
right during this song ♪
185
00:07:18,673 --> 00:07:20,956
♪ Tell ', tell 'em,
tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em ♪
186
00:07:20,958 --> 00:07:22,758
I'll wait.
187
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,044
♪ Tell 'em, tell 'em,
tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em ♪
188
00:07:25,046 --> 00:07:28,264
Oh, come on, seriously,
you're not gonna tell them?
189
00:07:28,266 --> 00:07:30,599
We have to tell them.
Right now.
190
00:07:30,601 --> 00:07:33,269
♪ Sure, act like
it was your idea. ♪
191
00:07:33,271 --> 00:07:34,503
Seriously, you guys suck.
192
00:07:39,306 --> 00:07:42,091
Marshall and I were still
in line to get Lily's nachos.
193
00:07:42,438 --> 00:07:44,882
Dude, we've been
waiting forever.
194
00:07:46,394 --> 00:07:49,206
Even worse, this is the
line for the ladies room.
195
00:07:51,530 --> 00:07:54,816
I can't believe that our
last Groovapalooza was,
196
00:07:54,818 --> 00:07:56,534
what, 12 years ago?
197
00:07:56,536 --> 00:07:58,486
I mean, time is
going by so fast.
198
00:07:58,488 --> 00:08:00,688
I know, it's crazy.
199
00:08:00,690 --> 00:08:03,157
In, like, an eye blink,
200
00:08:03,159 --> 00:08:07,545
this hand will be, like,
an old man's hand.
201
00:08:07,547 --> 00:08:11,499
I recognize the clichéd nature
of what I'm about to say,
202
00:08:11,501 --> 00:08:13,584
but... whoa!
203
00:08:13,586 --> 00:08:14,752
Yeah.
204
00:08:14,754 --> 00:08:17,422
312?
205
00:08:17,424 --> 00:08:19,006
That's our gate.
206
00:08:19,008 --> 00:08:22,176
Dude, we just walked around
the entire arena.
207
00:08:22,178 --> 00:08:24,178
We've been walking
for, like, an hour
208
00:08:24,180 --> 00:08:25,847
and we still haven't
found the nachos.
209
00:08:25,849 --> 00:08:28,266
I bet Lily
is so upset.
210
00:08:28,268 --> 00:08:31,903
Yo, you want
my nachos, bro?
211
00:08:31,905 --> 00:08:33,988
Thank you.
212
00:08:33,990 --> 00:08:37,408
My husband's been gone an hour
looking for these.
213
00:08:37,410 --> 00:08:40,912
If he can't even do that,
how can I trust him as a father?
214
00:08:40,914 --> 00:08:43,781
You can't, bro.
You can't.
215
00:08:43,783 --> 00:08:47,001
I like your long goatee.
216
00:08:47,003 --> 00:08:48,836
Marshall can't even
grow a beard.
217
00:08:48,838 --> 00:08:50,455
Oh, that's sad.
218
00:08:50,457 --> 00:08:53,758
'Cause one's ability to grow
facial hair directly correlates
219
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,494
with one's ability
to be a good father.
220
00:08:56,496 --> 00:09:00,631
I know it does.
I know it does.
221
00:09:05,004 --> 00:09:06,437
Oh.
222
00:09:06,439 --> 00:09:07,889
Excuse me, sir.
223
00:09:07,891 --> 00:09:09,673
Do you know
where the nachos are?
224
00:09:13,613 --> 00:09:15,279
Marshall!
225
00:09:15,281 --> 00:09:17,181
Over here.
I found the nacho line.
226
00:09:17,183 --> 00:09:19,317
Oh.
227
00:09:23,655 --> 00:09:24,989
So, how'd it go with Kevin?
228
00:09:24,991 --> 00:09:27,492
Well, I was just about
to tell him...
229
00:09:27,494 --> 00:09:28,960
ok, Kevin...
230
00:09:28,962 --> 00:09:31,462
Erika, I've been meaning
to speak with you all night.
231
00:09:31,464 --> 00:09:32,863
Really?
What about
232
00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:35,216
About me bending your hard
little body over the railing
233
00:09:35,218 --> 00:09:37,368
of this boat
and copulating furiously
234
00:09:37,370 --> 00:09:40,004
while I admire
the New York City skyline.
235
00:09:40,006 --> 00:09:43,174
Or, if you're feeling dirty,
we can always face Jersey.
236
00:09:43,176 --> 00:09:44,392
Thoughts?
237
00:09:46,011 --> 00:09:48,095
Jalapeño!
238
00:09:48,097 --> 00:09:49,880
And just a hint of coconut.
239
00:09:52,851 --> 00:09:55,269
Kevin hit his head,
he might have a concussion.
240
00:09:55,271 --> 00:09:58,022
So obviously
I couldn't tell him.
241
00:09:58,024 --> 00:09:59,273
What about you?
242
00:09:59,275 --> 00:10:01,892
Something even worse
happened to her.
243
00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:04,946
I got a tiny spot of wine
on my sleeve.
244
00:10:07,366 --> 00:10:09,367
I couldn't pile on.
245
00:10:09,369 --> 00:10:11,168
I'm not a monster.
246
00:10:12,037 --> 00:10:13,337
Where are they?
247
00:10:13,339 --> 00:10:15,590
Come on, forget
the nachos.
248
00:10:15,592 --> 00:10:17,908
Everyone here
is having fun.
249
00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:19,844
Look, even these guys.
250
00:10:19,846 --> 00:10:21,512
Check it out.
251
00:10:21,514 --> 00:10:25,666
Wow, music really does
bring people together.
252
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:27,852
Ted? Ted!
253
00:10:27,854 --> 00:10:30,021
Creepy guitar guy
is following us.
254
00:10:37,697 --> 00:10:39,146
We did a whole nother lap.
255
00:10:39,148 --> 00:10:41,482
Oh, man, we missed like,
half the concert now.
256
00:10:41,484 --> 00:10:42,566
Come on, let's just go
back to our seats.
257
00:10:42,591 --> 00:10:43,791
Ted, Ted, Ted.
258
00:10:43,936 --> 00:10:45,736
The nacho line
was right here all along.
259
00:10:47,423 --> 00:10:50,541
So stupid.
260
00:10:50,543 --> 00:10:53,411
As soon as we dock,
I'm taking Kevin to the E.R.
261
00:10:53,413 --> 00:10:57,298
God, wish last night
never happened.
262
00:10:59,669 --> 00:11:01,586
I don't.
263
00:11:01,588 --> 00:11:04,005
What do you mean?
264
00:11:04,007 --> 00:11:05,640
What if this whole thing,
265
00:11:05,642 --> 00:11:09,176
it isn't the story of how we
both made a horrible mistake
266
00:11:09,178 --> 00:11:11,062
and ruined our relationships,
267
00:11:11,064 --> 00:11:16,300
what if it's actually the story
of how we got back together?
268
00:11:16,302 --> 00:11:19,270
Okay, I'm gonna ask you
one last time.
269
00:11:19,272 --> 00:11:21,572
Is this what you want?
270
00:11:21,574 --> 00:11:23,240
It's what we both want!
271
00:11:23,242 --> 00:11:26,160
Why else are we rushing
to tell them what we did?
272
00:11:26,162 --> 00:11:28,746
On a boat!
That is a terrible idea!
273
00:11:28,748 --> 00:11:31,482
Barney, we tried this
and we failed.
274
00:11:31,484 --> 00:11:33,200
Why try again?
275
00:11:33,202 --> 00:11:35,252
Because I haven't stopped
thinking about you
276
00:11:35,254 --> 00:11:37,321
and you haven't stopped
thinking about me.
277
00:11:39,791 --> 00:11:41,509
It's such a mess.
278
00:11:41,511 --> 00:11:43,160
Why...
279
00:11:43,162 --> 00:11:45,262
Why do you even like me?
280
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,934
I guess...
281
00:11:49,936 --> 00:11:53,854
'cause you're almost
as messed up as I.
282
00:11:57,676 --> 00:12:00,144
Well, there's the small issue
283
00:12:00,146 --> 00:12:02,113
that we're currently dating
other people.
284
00:12:02,115 --> 00:12:04,231
How about this?
285
00:12:04,233 --> 00:12:09,687
After we dock, let's each do
what we have to do,
286
00:12:09,689 --> 00:12:14,041
and then meet up at MacLaren's
at midnight and...
287
00:12:14,043 --> 00:12:16,293
talk about us.
288
00:12:18,914 --> 00:12:23,417
Don't forget
your mystery gift bags!
289
00:12:23,419 --> 00:12:25,336
They're condoms.
290
00:12:27,305 --> 00:12:29,807
We just went all the way
around again!
291
00:12:29,809 --> 00:12:31,008
Where the hell
are these nachos?!
292
00:12:31,010 --> 00:12:32,643
Who cares
about nachos?
293
00:12:32,645 --> 00:12:33,978
Oh, I love nachos, man!
294
00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:35,396
You gotta relax, man.
295
00:12:35,398 --> 00:12:38,432
You keep worrying about stuff
like nachos,
296
00:12:38,434 --> 00:12:40,234
you're gonna give yourself
a heart attack.
297
00:12:41,153 --> 00:12:43,104
- I'm going back in.
- Fine!
298
00:12:43,106 --> 00:12:46,190
Ha! Joke's on you!
299
00:12:46,192 --> 00:12:49,660
The nacho line was right here
all along!
300
00:12:55,167 --> 00:12:57,368
Robin and Barney
were finally off the boat.
301
00:12:57,370 --> 00:12:59,120
so they both assumed
it was going to be a lot easier
302
00:12:59,122 --> 00:13:01,422
to admit
what they had done.
303
00:13:01,424 --> 00:13:03,174
Kevin...
Me first.
304
00:13:03,176 --> 00:13:05,259
Look, I don't want
to make too much out
305
00:13:05,261 --> 00:13:07,411
of saying "I love you"
for the first time.
306
00:13:07,413 --> 00:13:09,079
Any way I can jump in
with my thing?
307
00:13:09,081 --> 00:13:12,383
Robin... I love you.
308
00:13:13,468 --> 00:13:15,252
Okay, Nora, lo...
309
00:13:15,254 --> 00:13:16,754
Mom! Dad!
310
00:13:16,756 --> 00:13:19,690
Hi, Nora, we
got in early!
311
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:24,028
Should've done it on the boat.
312
00:13:30,962 --> 00:13:31,911
Ah!
313
00:13:31,913 --> 00:13:34,381
Hey, where's your friend?
314
00:13:34,383 --> 00:13:38,602
We missed almost the entire show
because he put his stupid quest
315
00:13:38,604 --> 00:13:41,221
for nachos ahead of our
friendship, so I bolted.
316
00:13:41,223 --> 00:13:44,191
Well, I'm just a creepy old
guitar player,
317
00:13:44,193 --> 00:13:47,194
but isn't any time spent
with a friend a blessing?
318
00:13:47,196 --> 00:13:49,896
And if nachos is all you seek...
319
00:13:49,898 --> 00:13:52,149
take mine, brother.
320
00:13:52,151 --> 00:13:54,401
Wow!
321
00:13:54,403 --> 00:13:55,819
Thank you.
322
00:13:55,821 --> 00:13:58,271
It's a sign, bro.
323
00:13:58,273 --> 00:13:59,573
It is.
324
00:13:59,575 --> 00:14:01,541
It's a sign
I should go find Marshall!
325
00:14:03,212 --> 00:14:04,795
Marshall! Marshall!
326
00:14:08,049 --> 00:14:11,718
So, Barney, Nora's told us
so much about you,
327
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,203
but we want to know everything.
328
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,028
Uh, let's see. Suit, laser tag.
329
00:14:16,058 --> 00:14:17,808
I say "wait for it" a lot.
That's about it.
330
00:14:17,810 --> 00:14:18,975
You two must be exhausted.
331
00:14:18,977 --> 00:14:20,060
I'll make coffee.
332
00:14:21,596 --> 00:14:23,797
I'm so glad to see how happy
you both are.
333
00:14:23,799 --> 00:14:26,966
When you meet
the right person,
334
00:14:26,968 --> 00:14:28,518
you know it.
335
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,303
You can't stop
thinking about them.
336
00:14:33,808 --> 00:14:35,325
They're your best friend...
337
00:14:37,655 --> 00:14:38,935
and your soul mate.
338
00:14:40,114 --> 00:14:43,366
You can't wait to spend the
rest of your life with them.
339
00:14:43,368 --> 00:14:47,137
No one and nothing else
can compare.
340
00:14:47,139 --> 00:14:50,540
Now, where the hell
is that coffee, eh?
341
00:14:54,462 --> 00:14:58,431
Look, Nora, there's something
I have to tell you.
342
00:15:05,057 --> 00:15:06,840
Heart attack.
343
00:15:06,842 --> 00:15:08,809
Oh, God, Ted was right.
I have to relax!
344
00:15:08,811 --> 00:15:09,893
Ted!
345
00:15:09,895 --> 00:15:11,478
- Marshall!
- Ted?
346
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,146
Ted!
Marshall!
347
00:15:13,148 --> 00:15:14,514
Oh, Ted! Oh, Ted!
348
00:15:14,516 --> 00:15:16,817
I'm so sorry! You were right.
349
00:15:16,819 --> 00:15:19,236
No, Marshall, you...
Yeah, I was right.
350
00:15:19,238 --> 00:15:20,487
But look, nachos!
351
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:24,107
Come on. Let's
go back inside.
352
00:15:25,744 --> 00:15:27,527
That's it.
353
00:15:27,529 --> 00:15:29,362
It's over.
354
00:15:29,364 --> 00:15:31,798
We missed the whole show.
355
00:15:33,534 --> 00:15:35,902
So...
356
00:15:35,904 --> 00:15:38,505
yup, I love you.
357
00:15:38,507 --> 00:15:41,141
Look, Kevin...
358
00:15:41,143 --> 00:15:44,511
there's something
I have to tell you.
359
00:15:44,513 --> 00:15:45,846
I cheated on you.
360
00:15:47,365 --> 00:15:51,151
I don't even know
how to react.
361
00:15:51,153 --> 00:15:53,219
I am so sorry.
362
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:57,390
I know I don't get
any second chances,
363
00:15:57,392 --> 00:16:00,861
but you will always be...
364
00:16:00,863 --> 00:16:03,163
Was this a one-time thing?
365
00:16:05,283 --> 00:16:08,251
Can you tell me
it didn't mean anything?
366
00:16:10,254 --> 00:16:12,172
No.
367
00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:24,584
I'm sorry, Ted.
368
00:16:24,586 --> 00:16:29,856
I still want to have fun,
369
00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:31,591
There's just not
enough time, you know?
370
00:16:31,593 --> 00:16:32,592
I know.
371
00:16:32,594 --> 00:16:36,930
It's all going by
so damn fast.
372
00:16:37,899 --> 00:16:39,282
Lily!
373
00:16:39,284 --> 00:16:42,235
Hey! Oh, Lily,
I'm so sorry
374
00:16:42,237 --> 00:16:44,738
that we ruined our night.
Yeah.
375
00:16:44,740 --> 00:16:46,122
What are you guys talking about?
376
00:16:46,124 --> 00:16:48,158
You've been gone less
than two minutes.
377
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,627
Kids, she was right.
378
00:16:54,298 --> 00:16:55,882
My hand.
379
00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:57,634
Whoa!
380
00:16:57,636 --> 00:16:59,118
Ah! concert!
381
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:00,804
Nachos! Ah!
382
00:17:02,757 --> 00:17:04,808
Music!
383
00:17:10,631 --> 00:17:12,131
- Time!
- Nachos!
384
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,135
Thank you!
385
00:17:16,137 --> 00:17:18,855
It's a sign, bro.
386
00:17:18,857 --> 00:17:20,440
Oh, oh...
387
00:17:20,442 --> 00:17:22,303
Heart attack!
Marshall!
388
00:17:22,328 --> 00:17:23,528
Marshall!
389
00:17:27,315 --> 00:17:29,165
Time...
390
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,373
Lily!
391
00:17:36,375 --> 00:17:38,708
Marshall, do you get
what this means?
392
00:17:38,710 --> 00:17:40,293
Life isn't moving
too fast.
393
00:17:40,295 --> 00:17:42,212
We-we still have time
for everything
394
00:17:42,214 --> 00:17:43,930
And we're not gonna miss
the concert!
395
00:17:45,466 --> 00:17:46,833
I'm freaking out right now.
396
00:17:46,835 --> 00:17:49,519
- We gotta get out of here.
- Yeah.
397
00:17:49,521 --> 00:17:51,972
Do you guys know where
the ladies' room is?
398
00:17:51,974 --> 00:17:54,307
- No idea.
- Haven't seen it.
399
00:17:57,011 --> 00:17:59,479
Hey! How's it going?
400
00:17:59,481 --> 00:18:02,232
Oh, not great.
Nora and I broke up.
401
00:18:02,234 --> 00:18:04,317
Oh, my God, what happened?
402
00:18:04,319 --> 00:18:07,320
I don't really feel like getting
into it, but...
403
00:18:07,322 --> 00:18:09,188
I think the worst part is over.
404
00:18:12,576 --> 00:18:14,694
- Hey.
- Hey.
405
00:18:14,696 --> 00:18:16,079
- Hey, Kev.
- What's up, Kev?
406
00:18:16,081 --> 00:18:17,380
How's it going, buddy?
407
00:18:17,382 --> 00:18:18,631
Hey, guys.
408
00:18:18,633 --> 00:18:20,834
There's something
I have to tell you.
409
00:18:20,836 --> 00:18:22,035
Then don't.
410
00:18:22,037 --> 00:18:23,586
What?
411
00:18:23,588 --> 00:18:25,922
If there's one thing I've
learned as a therapist,
412
00:18:25,924 --> 00:18:29,759
it's that just because something
needs to be told
413
00:18:29,761 --> 00:18:32,178
doesn't always mean
it needs to be heard.
414
00:18:32,180 --> 00:18:36,182
Kevin, I did something bad.
415
00:18:36,184 --> 00:18:38,351
We've all done bad things.
416
00:18:38,353 --> 00:18:40,320
Doesn't mean we're bad people.
417
00:18:41,422 --> 00:18:42,655
Look, I don't care
418
00:18:42,657 --> 00:18:44,441
about every detail
from your past,
419
00:18:44,443 --> 00:18:46,609
and I hope you don't care
about mine either.
420
00:18:46,611 --> 00:18:49,329
What I do care about is you,
421
00:18:49,331 --> 00:18:54,233
and that from tonight forward,
you're in this as much as I am.
422
00:18:55,786 --> 00:18:57,454
What do you think?
423
00:18:57,456 --> 00:19:01,257
I'm such a mess.
424
00:19:03,077 --> 00:19:05,762
Why do you even like me?
425
00:19:05,764 --> 00:19:06,913
Come her
426
00:19:08,082 --> 00:19:12,352
I am constantly amazed
by the things you say,
427
00:19:12,354 --> 00:19:15,388
entranced by the things you do,
428
00:19:15,390 --> 00:19:19,976
and unlike a certain Jalapeño
Coconut Vodka martini,
429
00:19:19,978 --> 00:19:22,261
you're easy on the eye
430
00:19:23,898 --> 00:19:25,865
And if we're together
long enough,
431
00:19:25,867 --> 00:19:30,120
I hope that one day you see
yourself the way I see you.
432
00:19:33,908 --> 00:19:36,493
That's a pretty good answer.
433
00:19:36,495 --> 00:19:39,079
Sometimes hours
can feel like minutes
434
00:19:39,081 --> 00:19:42,916
and sometimes a single second
can last a lifetime.
435
00:19:42,918 --> 00:19:47,670
For Barney, the second that
would never end was this one.
436
00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:08,141
Well, um, I should go.
437
00:20:08,143 --> 00:20:10,193
Tough night.
438
00:20:10,195 --> 00:20:11,244
I'm so sorry.
439
00:20:11,246 --> 00:20:13,279
Don't be. It's nothing.
440
00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:17,951
It feels good to be sober again.
441
00:20:17,953 --> 00:20:21,754
Man, how long have we been
sitting here, right?
442
00:20:21,756 --> 00:20:23,840
12 seconds and you're
in the wrong booth.
443
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:32,465
I should go to bed.
444
00:20:55,623 --> 00:20:59,623
== sync, corrected by elderman ==