1
00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:09,000
Psst. In here!
2
00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:16,400
I'm safe.
Not quite.
3
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,300
The amulet, please,
Mr. Stinson.
4
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,700
Why?
5
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,300
Help! Help!
The kid.
6
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,700
Help!
Hang on, kid.
7
00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:50,900
Grab my tie.
8
00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:53,200
But you're not supposed
to take the tie off.
9
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,700
You lost a bet with your
friends Lily and Marshall
10
00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:58,300
which requires you to wear
the tie for a full year.
11
00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:01,900
If it means saving your life,
I think they'll understand!
12
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:03,400
They sound like nice people!
13
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:04,500
Yeah, they are.
14
00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:06,500
Grab that...
15
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:10,200
Come on.
16
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,000
That's it.
17
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,700
Thanks, Mister.
18
00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:19,200
How can I repay you?
19
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:22,100
You can stay in school,
that's how.
20
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,300
No!
21
00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:27,400
True story.
22
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,200
But golly, I'm just gonna miss
23
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,900
the heck out of
that ducky tie. I really am.
24
00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:34,900
Look what I just found
in the trash.
25
00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:37,100
No!
26
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:49,900
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
27
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,800
Kids, you haven't truly
lived until somewhere,
28
00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:00,300
somebody puts a sign up because
of something you did.
29
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:01,400
For instance...
30
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,400
Have you guys seen that sign
out front that says
31
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,300
"Absolutely No
Boogie-Boarding"?
32
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,900
What's that all about?
33
00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:09,400
Oh, that's a great story.
You got time for it?
34
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:13,400
Well, I'm supposed to go to
my mom's birthday party, so...
35
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,600
please make it as
long as you can.
36
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,600
Well, it happened
a few months ago.
37
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,400
The night of the hurricane...
38
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,800
Kids, it was August 26, 2011,
39
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:25,500
and Hurricane Irene was
barreling towards New York.
40
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:27,300
Guys, guys, guys.
41
00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:29,000
This storm is serious.
42
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,300
Luckily, you are friends
with a former Boy Scout.
43
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:32,700
And a Boy Scout is always what?
44
00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:34,000
Unpopular?
Beaten up?
45
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,300
Going to the movies
with his mom?
46
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:37,200
A Boy Scout is always prepared.
47
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,000
Prepared to spend lunch
in his locker?
48
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,300
Prepared to die a virgin?
49
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:41,700
Prepared to paint
his sister's nails?
50
00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:43,600
Prepared for emergencies!
51
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,000
That's why a week ago,
52
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,800
when Irene was just
a tropical depression-
53
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,700
You're a tropical depression.
54
00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:50,500
This guy got us...
55
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,300
a disaster backpack,
56
00:02:52,300 --> 00:02:55,100
and a rental car that seats
five, parked right outside.
57
00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:56,900
We're gonna drive up
to my place in Westchester
58
00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:58,000
where we'll all be safe.
59
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,800
Boy Scouted!
You're welcome.
60
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,200
Ted's right, we should go.
61
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:02,700
Hey, on the way out of the city,
62
00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:05,200
do you mind if we stop at my
place so I can get something?
63
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:09,000
Okay, what did you have to get?
64
00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:12,100
My drink on.
We're not going anywhere.
65
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:13,600
What? No!
66
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,700
We don't have time for this!
We gotta get going!
67
00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:17,700
Ted, I'm older than you.
Yeah.
68
00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:19,000
And taller.
Just older.
69
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,800
And when you reach my age,
and height,
70
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,200
you'll see that things like this
hurricane are no big deal.
71
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,800
They're going to close
the bridges.
72
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,000
You guys, we got
to get out of here.
73
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,000
I'm afraid I'm with
blondie on this one.
74
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,900
This storm is nothing.
I'm from Vancouver.
75
00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:32,800
You know what we call
this in the Couv?
76
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,300
Barbecue weather.
77
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:36,500
Yeah, I'm with these guys.
78
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:38,900
Drinking beer in front
of Barney's giant TV
79
00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:40,400
beats sitting in the car
80
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,700
listening to
Memoires of a Geisha.
81
00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:44,200
Come on, we're at the best part.
82
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:47,500
Oh, it's my mom,
checking to see if I'm okay.
83
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:48,900
Hey, Mom.
84
00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:51,400
Ooh, Mommy!
It's dwizzling out!
85
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,200
I'm so scared!
86
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,400
Bikini weather.
87
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,400
Marshall, you're with me, right?
88
00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,000
Sorry, old friend.
89
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,900
But I can't afford
to tempt fate.
90
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,300
Oh right, I was being
really weird.
91
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:06,700
I should explain.
92
00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:08,300
Last summer I quit my job.
93
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:10,100
And then, a week before
the hurricane...
94
00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:14,500
Huh, my medical
insurance just expired.
95
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:18,200
That gives me two uninsured weeks
before I'm added to your plan.
96
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:19,800
It's no biggie.
97
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,100
Ow!
Paper cut.
98
00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:28,100
Death is all around us.
99
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:30,200
So for the next two weeks
100
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:33,300
he was basically a really
clingy Edgar Allan Poe.
101
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:36,400
The Grim Reaper beckons.
102
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:41,100
I feel his icy grip
around my throat,
103
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:43,600
the breath of his hounds
at my heels,
104
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:50,300
the unrelenting rat-tat-tat of
his scythe on my chamber door.
105
00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:53,400
And you, with your
blithe request,
106
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,800
you only hasten
his inevitable triumph.
107
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,900
Is that what you desire?
108
00:04:57,900 --> 00:05:00,100
Is that what you desire, Lily?
109
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,900
I just wanted you
to get us some bagels.
110
00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:04,900
Bagels?!
111
00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:08,200
Do you have any idea
112
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:11,600
what could happen to me
whilst getting bagels?!
113
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:21,200
What the...?!
No, not like this!
114
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,100
Fine. I'll go get the bagels.
115
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:24,400
No!
116
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:25,800
Why not?
117
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,800
And remember, not too
much cream cheese.
118
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,800
Half a shmear, max.
119
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,600
Thanks, baby.
120
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,300
No! No! Not like this!
121
00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:39,800
Okay, now you're just
being ridiculous.
122
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,600
Well, life is ridiculous, Lily!
123
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,200
People get run over by buses
124
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:47,200
and hit in the nuts by
skateboards, bitten by babies.
125
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,500
Nobody wakes up and says,
"Today I'm gonna star
126
00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:50,800
in a YouTube video."
127
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,900
You've said that at
least a dozen times.
128
00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:55,900
Lily, for the next two weeks
129
00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:59,300
you must be by my side
protecting me.
130
00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:01,300
Why, what's gonna happen?
131
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:04,500
Answer: a hurricane.
132
00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,500
Just let me take off the tie!
Please!
133
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,500
I have to wear this at work.
134
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:10,900
Do you have any idea
what that's like?
135
00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:14,800
If the SEC pursues charges,
it's going to be all our asses.
136
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:19,100
Nobody takes this
more seriously than I do.
137
00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:22,000
Please, can I take it off?
138
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:26,900
You... may... knot.
139
00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:28,600
With a "K."
140
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:30,400
A little tie pun.
141
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,200
This is far from over.
142
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:36,000
You have a price, Eriksen,
and I will find it.
143
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:41,300
When the end of day is nigh,
I'll have taken off this tie.
144
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:45,100
I'm going to like the way
I look, I guarantee it.
145
00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:48,200
So boogie-boarding...
146
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,400
Boogie-boarding. So I was trying
to get these guys to leave.
147
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,400
Hey, Nerdlinger,
148
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,100
what's with the safety boner?
149
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:55,500
I mean, come on.
150
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:58,700
The disaster kit, the car,
the ladies' rain boots-
151
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:00,400
Uh, they're men's.
152
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,200
Pink is just easier to
spot from the rescue chopper.
153
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,600
Look, forgive me for caring
about you guys,
154
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,300
but you're my best friends
in the world
155
00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:09,100
and I just want to make sure
you're okay.
156
00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:14,400
Ah. Ted, you are
a giant whining bummer.
157
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:15,400
Barney...
158
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:16,500
Come on, Ted,
159
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:19,800
this storm is not a big deal.
160
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,900
This storm is a big deal.
161
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,400
Let's replay
that harrowing footage
162
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,200
of Irene touching
down in North Carolina.
163
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:32,400
We gotta get out of here!
164
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,600
Go, go! Come on,
come on!
165
00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:38,400
Please let me take it off!
No.
166
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,000
$5,000?
No.
167
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:40,800
Is he serious?
168
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:42,000
$10,000?
169
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,300
No.
Dudes, take the money.
170
00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:44,700
$20,000?
No.
171
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:46,700
Yes. I'll let you slap me in the face
172
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,600
as hard as you can.
You have my attention.
173
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,100
Kids, you remember Marshall
and Barney's slap bet.
174
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:54,000
A few years earlier,
Barney lost a bet to Marshall.
175
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,800
His penalty was five slaps
delivered anyplace, anytime.
176
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:01,000
So far, Marshall had slapped
Barney four times.
177
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,100
Which meant he only had
one slap left.
178
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:05,100
What do you say, Marshall?
179
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:07,900
Are you going to seize
this slap-ortunity
180
00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:09,800
or let it slap
through your fingers?
181
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,700
Don't let him
tempt you, Marshall.
182
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,600
I don't know, Lily. I mean
we have a baby on the way.
183
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,200
An extra slap could
really come in handy.
184
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,500
No! No!
185
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:20,600
This is crazy.
186
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,800
You having to wear that tie
for another ten months
187
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,700
is all the satisfaction I need.
188
00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:26,900
Plus,
189
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:28,700
I still have one slap left,
190
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:32,200
and that feels good. But if
you didn't have that slap left-
191
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,900
if say, I were to get you
to slap me tonight-
192
00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:38,800
I suppose that
would change everything.
193
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,400
I suppose it would.
194
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:47,600
Le jeu commence.
195
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:52,600
Je m'appelle Marshall.
196
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,400
So boogie-boarding...
Boogie-boarding.
197
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,200
So I was trying to get
these guys to leave,
198
00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,600
but there was
one little problem.
199
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:00,800
Come on, let's go.
200
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:01,900
I'm staying.
201
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,800
What?!
Barney?!
202
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,600
Hey, hey, it's going to get
pretty crazy out there.
203
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,700
And if some hot woman gets
all her clothes blown off,
204
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:09,200
and I'm not up here
to videotape it
205
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,100
and put it up on the Internet,
who will, FEMA?
206
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,400
Come on, open your eyes.
207
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,100
No, no, you are coming with us.
208
00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:17,300
We leave no man behind.
209
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:18,900
Hey, Mom.
210
00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:21,500
Uh, yeah, the boots
were a big hit.
211
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,500
You know, I better pee.
212
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:26,700
But when Lily and I get back,
we're all leaving.
213
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,400
Wait, I have to go
pee with you?
214
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,900
You want me to go
to the "bathroom,"
215
00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:34,300
the most dangerous room
in the house by myself?
216
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:36,500
Do you have any idea
what could happen?
217
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:40,400
Ow! My eye!
218
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,800
I'm blind!
219
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,200
No, no!
Not like this!
220
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,200
I don't think
we're seeing eye to eye
221
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,200
about the likelihood
of that happening.
222
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,600
Hey, it's my dad.
223
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,900
My dad's calling me.
224
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:59,300
Hey, do you know where...?
Ted got his boots?
225
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:01,000
Yeah. They're fabulous.
I totally want a pair.
226
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,800
Okay, Dad, I will. Thanks.
227
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:07,000
Guys, Dad says this hurricane is
a bigger deal than you thought.
228
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,100
I'm taking charge.
We are getting out of here.
229
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:12,100
Okay, what is with
everybody's parents calling
230
00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:13,600
to check up on them?
231
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,700
It's just a little rain.
232
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:17,300
Lawn-mowing weather.
233
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,400
Bocce weather.
234
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,800
Wow. You're really bummed
235
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,200
that your dad's
not worried about you.
236
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,400
What?!
237
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,300
Eh... What would my
dad be worried about?
238
00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:29,400
That I'm not wearing
enough sunblock?
239
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,700
House-painting weather.
240
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:33,900
Ted, you're back.
241
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,700
I've changed my mind.
I'm in. Let's go.
242
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:37,400
Yeah, I changed my mind, too.
You can't come.
243
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:38,800
Everybody else,
we're moving out.
244
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,200
That's harsh.
245
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,500
You know what else is harsh?
Ultraviolet light.
246
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:45,400
I fell asleep in the tanning bed
this week
247
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,600
and I think I got a sunburn
on my cheek.
248
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,100
It's so sensitive.
249
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:52,700
It's like a big, red bull's-eye.
250
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:54,000
Ouchie.
251
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,400
Did you take my blush
out of my purse?
252
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:59,200
So, boogie-boarding.
253
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,700
Boogie-boarding.
254
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:02,100
Oh, come on, Ted,
255
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:03,500
you can't just leave him here.
256
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:04,700
Uh, yeah, I can.
257
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:06,900
You called me a giant
whining bummer.
258
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,400
You're not allowed in my car.
259
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,000
You don't get to find out
if the geisha finds love.
260
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,200
This is about principle.
261
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,100
Hey, Ted.
I'm ready to go.
262
00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:19,100
And you must be "Principle."
263
00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:21,900
Ah, on a separate note,
guys, this is Maya.
264
00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:23,400
I just met her out in the hall.
265
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:24,700
We have a lot in common,
266
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:26,500
such as our mutual love
of country music,
267
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:28,100
NASCAR and Jeff Foxworthy.
Just go with it.
268
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:29,900
She needed a ride
out of the city,
269
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:32,000
and we have an extra seat
in the car, so...
270
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,400
Okay, let's hit it!
271
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,700
Wow.
272
00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:36,300
It's come to this.
273
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:37,800
You could help a friend,
274
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,700
but instead, you're choosing
the hot girl in
275
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,000
the tight tank top.
276
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,000
Your training is complete!
277
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,300
I'm so proud of this kid!
278
00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:48,800
But seriously,
the storm's coming in,
279
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,300
so dump the hoochie
and wheels up.
280
00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:51,800
You promised me a seat.
281
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:52,800
Oh, for God's sake.
282
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,400
You two both go.
I'll stay here.
283
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,000
What? Lily, no!
Shotgun!
284
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,500
You're staying. Then
Lily can come! Wha...?
285
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,200
No, no, no, I'll stay here.
Why?
286
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,200
I just want
some time away from you!
287
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:06,600
What?
288
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,800
Marshall, I'm sorry. I love you,
289
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:12,100
but I haven't had a second alone
in weeks!
290
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,800
It's summer vacation!
291
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,300
All I want to do is
sit in the bathtub
292
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:18,500
and read a book, but now...
293
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:21,700
Baby, I forgot to bring a book.
294
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:25,600
Do you mind reading
yours out loud?
295
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,100
Hey, it's been no picnic
for me either.
296
00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:29,600
You don't even do the voices.
297
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,900
Blocked number.
298
00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:34,700
Hello?
299
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:38,100
RJ? It's your father.
300
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:40,500
Daddy?
301
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:42,500
I love you.
302
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,100
It means so much
that you called.
303
00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:47,200
Ha! I knew that you
wanted him to call. Busted!
304
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,000
That was you?
305
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,600
I really think
you should slap him.
306
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:52,600
You should slap him!
307
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:53,300
Slap him.
Slap him.
308
00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:55,300
Two cheeks, no waiting.
309
00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:58,200
Good, 'cause I really
think I'm gonna slap him!
310
00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,000
So, boog -boarding?
311
00:12:59,000 --> 00:12:59,800
Boogie-boarding.
312
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,200
Come on, Ted.
313
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,400
You're gonna give some
random floozy a ride,
314
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:04,500
but not take Barney?
315
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,100
Floozy?!
316
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,400
If she's going, I'm not going!
317
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,800
Lily, you're staying.
Let's go.
318
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,200
If Lily's staying,
then I'm staying!
319
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,600
Then I'm going.
Then I'm going.
320
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,700
You can't go, Marshall,
'cause I'm going.
321
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:16,100
If Barney's going, I'm
not going! Then I can go.
322
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:17,400
Then I'm staying.
Then I'm staying.
323
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,400
Then I'm going.
324
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,500
Then I'm not going.
325
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:21,700
Okay, you know what?
I'm going.
326
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,800
This storm's been on Doppler
radar for a week.
327
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,700
I'm the only one
who prepared for it.
328
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:27,800
And you all made fun of me.
So guess what?
329
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,800
This Boy Scout
is taking a hike. Good-bye!
330
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:36,000
Maya, real quick, did you think
there was anything here, or...
331
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,000
Oh, I have a boyfriend.
332
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,100
Good-bye!
333
00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:40,900
Um, Ted...?
334
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:43,400
The time for evacuation is over.
335
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,600
Everyone should now go inside
and be prepared
336
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,800
to stay inside until weather
conditions improve,
337
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:52,400
which won't likely be
until Sunday afternoon.
338
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,800
We're stuck here?
339
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,700
Okay, let's not panic.
340
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:03,900
You know what?
Let's panic.
341
00:14:10,700 --> 00:14:13,900
Hey, if we don't make it
through the night,
342
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:17,300
I want you guys to know,
and I really mean this...
343
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:21,600
I wish I had branched out
and made more friends in my 20s.
344
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,800
Well,
345
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,700
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
346
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,400
By myself, I guess.
347
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,700
Watch out for bears.
348
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:40,900
Since this might be the end,
I gotta confess something.
349
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:41,900
Can I?
350
00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:43,400
Might as well.
351
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:47,900
Barney and I have been doing
the wild thing...
352
00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:50,500
this whole time.
353
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:53,400
Except a brief period last year
when he was shacking up
354
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,100
with Marshall's mom.
355
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:58,700
But luckily, three-ways
were on the menu, so...
356
00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:01,700
Marshall, you know she didn't
say any of that, right?
357
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:05,200
I know, but I just want
to slap him so bad!
358
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,500
But that tie is so stupid!
But the slap would feel so good!
359
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:10,400
But he hates that tie so much!
360
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,600
Perhaps I can help.
361
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:16,400
Marshall, ask yourself this
question: why today?
362
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,000
He hasn't said anything about
that tie for weeks,
363
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,600
and yet, suddenly today,
364
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,500
he can't wear it another second?
365
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,300
No, there's a reason.
366
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:28,900
You've got something coming up.
367
00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:31,000
Something where you're
368
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:34,400
on display, vulnerable...
369
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,500
exposed.
370
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:38,700
It's not work-related.
371
00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:41,200
No, this is relationship stuff.
372
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,900
You're trying
to impress someone.
373
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:45,300
In the lie you told,
374
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:47,300
you said you were being chased
by two goons.
375
00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:48,600
So it's two people.
376
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,200
A couple, perhaps.
377
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,900
You're meeting
Nora's parents tomorrow!
378
00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:57,400
Wrong!
379
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,500
Wrong, wrong, wrong,
wrong, wrong!
380
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,800
It's in two days, and I really
want them to like me!
381
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,700
Oh-ho!
Therapisted!
382
00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:06,400
Shrinked? Shrunk?
383
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:07,600
We'll figure it out.
384
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,200
So, boogie-boarding.
385
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,500
Boogie-boarding.
386
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:14,400
Hey, Lily, can I talk
to you for just a second?
387
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:17,000
Come here.
388
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,300
Marshall, if I'm in here to
brush your teeth, I swear to...
389
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,000
I'm sorry
that I've been so needy lately.
390
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,300
I know that you need
some time alone.
391
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:29,200
So... I'll be in
the other room.
392
00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:32,300
You're not going anywhere.
393
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,800
Mmm...
Hey...
394
00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:41,000
And the funny thing is,
395
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,000
after that night,
we'll never be alone again.
396
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,200
You made that in my bathroom?
397
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,600
Whoops.
398
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,400
Wow, a hurricane baby.
399
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:54,200
Oh, man, Hurricane Eriksen would
be a sweet name.
400
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,100
It would be a crazy sweet name!
401
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:58,200
Thanks, Ted.
402
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,100
Anyway, the next day,
after the danger had passed...
403
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:03,500
It's closed.
404
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,500
Now what?
405
00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:07,500
A Boy Scout is always prepared.
406
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:09,500
Hey!
407
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:12,000
Nice!
408
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,200
To surviving the hurricane.
409
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,200
Yay!
410
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,300
I love you guys.
Love you.
411
00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:20,000
I did finally make it up here
to the house later that week
412
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,100
only to find that
a falling oak tree had
413
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:23,700
landed in the living room.
414
00:17:23,700 --> 00:17:26,600
If we'd been here, it would
have crushed us like bugs.
415
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:29,000
You see, kids, there's no way
of knowing for sure
416
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,500
where the safest place is...
417
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:34,000
so the best you can hope for is
to have some good company.
418
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,300
Guys, how far do you think I can
boogie-board on this thing?
419
00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:37,800
So far!
420
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,700
Marshall, your insurance doesn't
kick in till tomorrow.
421
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:43,000
Yeah, well, you know what?
422
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,500
Life kicks in right now.
423
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:51,500
? ?
424
00:17:54,300 --> 00:17:55,900
Don't worry, he wasn't hurt...
425
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:57,700
the first time.
I have splints!
426
00:17:57,700 --> 00:18:00,000
The second time he went through
the front window of Maclaren's.
427
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,300
Hence the
"No Boogie-boarding" sign.
428
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:04,500
All right, guys, I gotta go.
429
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:07,200
Barney, good luck
with Nora's parents.
430
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,200
Bye.
Bye.
431
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,200
See you later.
432
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,200
All right. See you.
See ya.
433
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:13,500
Hey, Barney?
434
00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:14,400
Hmm?
435
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,500
Listen, um, we made a baby
436
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,100
in your bathroom.
437
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:19,600
So we owe you one.
438
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,800
So we say...
439
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,900
you can take off the ducky tie.
440
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,300
For three slaps.
441
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:31,200
Three slaps?
442
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,000
And to be clear,
this would add three slaps
443
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,700
to Marshall's existing one,
giving him four slaps in total.
444
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:38,500
Deal.
445
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:42,800
I'm free!
446
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:46,700
God, this feels so good!
447
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:49,400
This was a mistake!
448
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,800
I wanna put the tie back on!
449
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,000
I wanna put the tie back on!
450
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,600
Why do I have to be
Barney right now?
451
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,300
Three slaps remaining!
452
00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:59,600
Three slaps. Wow,
I like the sound of that.
453
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,400
I think I'll save
those bad boys,
454
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:02,800
you know, for a rainy day.
455
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,400
Okay.
The worst is over.
456
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:07,500
Ah!
457
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:10,100
Two slaps remaining!
458
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:12,900
It's all right.
459
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:14,900
Hey, it's all done...
460
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:16,200
for now.
461
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,000
I think I need to go home
462
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,200
and reevaluate how
I make life decisions.
463
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,500
Come on. I have
to go back to work.
464
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,600
Let's split a cab. Okay. Yeah.
465
00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:35,400
Did you ever tell those guys
about that other thing
466
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,800
that almost happened?
467
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,700
That other thing?
468
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:42,500
Oh, that. No. Did you?
469
00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:43,700
No.
470
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,900
Hey, I'm really sorry
about that phone call.
471
00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:47,900
Oh, it's fine.
472
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,400
No, it is so not fine.
I was a jerk.
473
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,400
And if you don't mind my
saying, your dad is
474
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,400
a complete idiot
for not calling.
475
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,100
He should never let a day go by
without calling you
476
00:19:58,100 --> 00:20:02,200
because when I let a day go by
without talking to you...
477
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:08,000
Um, that day's just no good.
478
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,700
Um, sorry.
479
00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:16,000
Um...
480
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,700
It's my dad.
481
00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:19,800
Wait, show me your hands.
482
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:20,800
My hands.
483
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,800
Hey, Dad!
484
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,500
That's what I've been saying!
485
00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:28,400
Golf weather!
486
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,100
Can you believe we almost...?
487
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:31,600
I know.
488
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:32,700
Good thing we didn't.
489
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:34,800
Yeah. I mean, not
long after that
490
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,200
you got together with Nora.
491
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:37,300
And you met Kevin.
492
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:38,400
Yeah.
Disaster averted.
493
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,700
Exactly.
494
00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:41,800
It would've ruined everything
if we'd been all...
495
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:42,800
ah-la-la-la...
496
00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:44,900
I know, right?
So dumb...
497
00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:47,400
La-la-la-la-la-la...