1
00:00:01,662 --> 00:00:05,063
Kids, in the spring of 2011,
Zoey and I broke up.
2
00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:06,381
But the good news:
3
00:00:06,382 --> 00:00:07,682
Goliath National Bank
4
00:00:07,683 --> 00:00:10,084
was finally ready
to demolish The Arcadian
5
00:00:10,085 --> 00:00:12,120
and build the new headquarters
I'd designed for them.
6
00:00:12,121 --> 00:00:13,838
Ho!
7
00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:16,257
The only problem was--
I kept butting heads
8
00:00:16,258 --> 00:00:19,327
with my project supervisor
on one very important issue.
9
00:00:19,328 --> 00:00:21,396
I want to press the button
to blow up The Arcadian!
10
00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:23,198
I want to press it!
I want to press it!
11
00:00:23,199 --> 00:00:24,432
I want to press it!
12
00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:25,934
Guys, I dated
you both,
13
00:00:25,935 --> 00:00:27,635
and neither of you
is good at pressing
14
00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:29,604
or even finding
the button.
15
00:00:29,605 --> 00:00:30,805
After some awkward
pawing around,
16
00:00:30,806 --> 00:00:32,657
that building's going
to fake an implosion,
17
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:35,877
say, "Baby, that was great""
and go to sleep.
18
00:00:36,545 --> 00:00:38,413
She means you.
She means you.
19
00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:40,165
I want to press it.
I want to press it!
20
00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:41,950
I'm gonna press it!
I'm gonna press it!
21
00:00:41,951 --> 00:00:43,518
It's just a button, okay?
22
00:00:43,519 --> 00:00:45,587
Can we just talk about
something else, please?
23
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:49,357
Well, I ran into Zoey yesterday.
24
00:00:49,358 --> 00:00:50,592
Oh.
Oh.
25
00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:52,494
That's the first time
since the breakup.
26
00:00:52,495 --> 00:00:54,162
How's she doing?
27
00:00:54,163 --> 00:00:55,597
I'm still unemployed,
28
00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:57,599
so I had to get
a couple roommates.
29
00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:00,718
Saving money.
Making new friends.
30
00:01:00,719 --> 00:01:02,370
No downside.
31
00:01:02,371 --> 00:01:03,805
They're all 22 and sell drugs.
32
00:01:03,806 --> 00:01:06,107
Which means they're
not taking them.
33
00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:09,143
So, that's a win.
34
00:01:09,979 --> 00:01:11,512
Well, I can tell
you're really busy
35
00:01:11,513 --> 00:01:13,698
so I should...
I'll let you go.
36
00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:15,450
Hey.
37
00:01:15,451 --> 00:01:17,402
You want to get coffee
sometime?
38
00:01:17,403 --> 00:01:20,154
You know that "coffee" is code for
"I want to get back together" right?
39
00:01:20,155 --> 00:01:21,456
Well, at first I wasn't sure,
40
00:01:21,457 --> 00:01:24,125
but then she said something
that got me thinking.
41
00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:25,560
I want to get back together.
42
00:01:25,561 --> 00:01:27,362
Oh!
Oh!
43
00:01:27,363 --> 00:01:28,663
Don't worry, we're not.
44
00:01:28,664 --> 00:01:30,598
I just, I feel bad Zoey's
having such a hard time.
45
00:01:30,599 --> 00:01:34,502
You know what might...
make you feel better, buddy?
46
00:01:34,503 --> 00:01:35,737
I'm not letting you
press the button.
47
00:01:35,738 --> 00:01:37,105
I want to press
the button!
48
00:01:37,106 --> 00:01:38,640
You're not pressing the
button! It's my button!
49
00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:40,341
Sadly, that's all you need
to know about my summer.
50
00:01:40,342 --> 00:01:42,343
Now, around this time,
Uncle Marshall
51
00:01:42,344 --> 00:01:44,879
was still having a tough time
finding a job.
52
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,748
He's out printing out a
whole new batch of résumés
53
00:01:46,749 --> 00:01:49,517
because he misspelled the phrase
"detail-oriented."
54
00:01:49,518 --> 00:01:51,436
And when he gets back home,
55
00:01:51,437 --> 00:01:53,221
he is going to find
his favorite soup
56
00:01:53,222 --> 00:01:54,255
there waiting for him.
57
00:01:54,256 --> 00:01:56,357
Oh, that's sweet, Lil,
58
00:01:56,358 --> 00:01:58,443
but didn't you guys get
food poisoning here one time?
59
00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:00,695
Three times.
60
00:02:00,696 --> 00:02:02,397
But they're really nice
about it.
61
00:02:02,398 --> 00:02:05,967
Their policy is, "Get sick,
get a free gallon of soup""
62
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:13,174
And so, Lily dropped off
Marshall's surprise soup
63
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,408
and headed back to work
64
00:02:14,409 --> 00:02:17,045
to introduce the new class pet.
65
00:02:17,046 --> 00:02:18,980
This is Mr. Buttons 2.
66
00:02:18,981 --> 00:02:20,315
Now, after
what happened
67
00:02:20,316 --> 00:02:23,885
to Mr. Buttons 1,
we have to be very gentle
68
00:02:23,886 --> 00:02:26,054
with...
69
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:32,777
Marshall!
70
00:03:08,864 --> 00:03:11,399
Don't eat the soup!
71
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:15,370
Oh, thank God.
72
00:03:15,371 --> 00:03:18,539
This was about to be
my third bowl.
73
00:03:19,675 --> 00:03:21,843
Why shouldn't I eat the soup?
74
00:03:27,016 --> 00:03:30,518
Why shouldn't I eat the soup?
75
00:03:30,653 --> 00:03:34,653
♪ How I Met Your Mother 6x24 ♪
Challenge Accepted
Original Air Date on May 16, 2011
76
00:03:34,678 --> 00:03:38,678
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
77
00:03:44,117 --> 00:03:45,418
Hey, Mr. Architect,
78
00:03:45,419 --> 00:03:47,387
big day for you
tomorrow, huh?
79
00:03:47,388 --> 00:03:50,890
Yeah. Getting to stand next
to me while I press the button.
80
00:03:50,891 --> 00:03:54,344
That is going to be legend...--
wait for it-- ...dary adjacent.
81
00:03:54,345 --> 00:03:57,864
Legendary adjacent!
82
00:03:57,865 --> 00:03:59,565
You okay?
83
00:03:59,566 --> 00:04:01,734
Yeah... no.
84
00:04:01,735 --> 00:04:04,671
This morning I was
talking to the foreman.
85
00:04:04,672 --> 00:04:06,689
Hey, hotshot.
86
00:04:06,690 --> 00:04:09,409
You know, Rod, um, I'm
loving that nickname,
87
00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:10,309
and I can tell
88
00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:12,144
it's totally affectionate,
89
00:04:12,145 --> 00:04:14,614
but, uh, I'd prefer Ted.
90
00:04:14,615 --> 00:04:17,650
Yeah, but you're
such a hotshot,
91
00:04:17,651 --> 00:04:19,986
I figured I'd just
call you hotshot.
92
00:04:20,671 --> 00:04:22,005
Pick one.
93
00:04:22,006 --> 00:04:23,690
And make sure you like it.
94
00:04:23,691 --> 00:04:25,675
There's going to be
50,000 of these
95
00:04:25,676 --> 00:04:28,361
in your big, hotshot
building, hotshot.
96
00:04:28,362 --> 00:04:31,798
50,000 lightbulbs!
97
00:04:31,799 --> 00:04:33,366
What if this one's too bright?
98
00:04:33,367 --> 00:04:34,934
What if this one flickers
99
00:04:34,935 --> 00:04:36,636
and gives everyone
a weird headache?
100
00:04:36,637 --> 00:04:38,438
Do you know
how many people
101
00:04:38,439 --> 00:04:40,473
it takes to change
50,000 lightbulbs?
102
00:04:40,474 --> 00:04:42,175
Are these people Irish,
Polish, blondes--
103
00:04:42,176 --> 00:04:43,643
what are we dealing with here?
104
00:04:43,644 --> 00:04:46,045
There's just-- there's so
many decisions to be made.
105
00:04:46,046 --> 00:04:47,246
What if I make all
the wrong ones
106
00:04:47,247 --> 00:04:48,848
and my building
just sucks?
107
00:04:48,849 --> 00:04:49,816
Not possible.
108
00:04:49,817 --> 00:04:51,234
Your building is new.
109
00:04:51,235 --> 00:04:55,188
And I have one rule:
New is always better.
110
00:04:55,189 --> 00:04:56,589
You can't keep saying
you have one rule
111
00:04:56,590 --> 00:04:57,924
if they're always
different rules.
112
00:04:57,925 --> 00:05:01,027
Ah, but "new is always better"
is my oldest rule,
113
00:05:01,028 --> 00:05:02,929
which makes it the best.
114
00:05:03,831 --> 00:05:05,498
Hi, Marsh.
Oh, hey, buddy.
115
00:05:05,499 --> 00:05:06,899
Hey.
116
00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:08,167
Everything okay?
117
00:05:08,168 --> 00:05:10,903
Lily got food poisoning
from some soup.
118
00:05:11,939 --> 00:05:13,272
And then I ate the soup
119
00:05:13,273 --> 00:05:14,741
exactly three hours later.
120
00:05:14,742 --> 00:05:20,046
Which means I can see exactly
three hours into my future, and
121
00:05:20,047 --> 00:05:25,184
it... doesn't... look... good.
122
00:05:25,185 --> 00:05:27,353
I tried to be supportive.
123
00:05:27,354 --> 00:05:29,989
Oh, baby, can you
just hold me, please?
124
00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:31,991
Of course, baby.
125
00:05:35,929 --> 00:05:37,630
But it doesn't help it
that when Lily gets going;
126
00:05:37,631 --> 00:05:40,399
she sounds like a velociraptor
from Jurassic Park.
127
00:05:44,304 --> 00:05:47,039
But then I realized
128
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,909
a man can do a lot of living
in three hours.
129
00:05:49,910 --> 00:05:55,414
So, I'm out experiencing this
beautiful, crazy dance called life.
130
00:05:55,415 --> 00:05:56,549
Ah, my last meal.
131
00:05:56,550 --> 00:05:59,886
MacClaren's famous
jalapeño poppers.
132
00:05:59,887 --> 00:06:01,053
My doctor says
133
00:06:01,054 --> 00:06:02,889
I need to eat healthier,
so I figured
134
00:06:02,890 --> 00:06:04,974
the round-trip flight
these babies are about to take
135
00:06:04,975 --> 00:06:07,660
will land them permanently
on the no-fry list.
136
00:06:08,595 --> 00:06:10,363
Good-bye, my friend.
137
00:06:11,732 --> 00:06:14,100
It's been a hell of a ride.
138
00:06:15,819 --> 00:06:17,320
I have to...
139
00:06:20,507 --> 00:06:21,874
Hey, babe.
140
00:06:21,875 --> 00:06:24,777
The gang says
feel better.
141
00:06:24,778 --> 00:06:27,079
Mm. Thanks. Wait,
142
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:30,183
you didn't tell them
I had food poisoning, did you?
143
00:06:30,184 --> 00:06:31,751
Um, I...
144
00:06:31,752 --> 00:06:34,053
Marshall,
when it's stomach stuff,
145
00:06:34,054 --> 00:06:35,621
you just say
"under the weather,"
146
00:06:35,622 --> 00:06:38,558
or people start picturing you
doing unspeakable things.
147
00:06:38,559 --> 00:06:39,759
I know.
148
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:42,295
I just said that
you had the sniffles.
149
00:06:42,296 --> 00:06:45,314
No one is picturing
anything but little
150
00:06:45,315 --> 00:06:46,732
red-nosed you
151
00:06:46,733 --> 00:06:49,035
under a blankie
with some hot tea.
152
00:06:49,036 --> 00:06:51,971
I wonder what end it's coming
out of Lily right now.
153
00:06:51,972 --> 00:06:53,873
I bet it's her tushie.
154
00:06:53,874 --> 00:06:55,608
I bet it's both.
155
00:06:59,646 --> 00:07:02,415
Hey, speaking of explosions--
156
00:07:02,416 --> 00:07:03,483
enough already, Ted!
157
00:07:03,484 --> 00:07:04,784
That button's mine!
158
00:07:04,785 --> 00:07:06,385
Yeah, fine, okay.
159
00:07:06,386 --> 00:07:08,020
I got you this job, so I...
160
00:07:08,021 --> 00:07:09,021
Say what?
161
00:07:09,022 --> 00:07:10,339
Whatever.
162
00:07:10,340 --> 00:07:11,791
It's yours.
163
00:07:11,792 --> 00:07:13,125
I gotta run.
164
00:07:13,126 --> 00:07:14,660
You...
165
00:07:17,998 --> 00:07:19,332
Hello?
166
00:07:19,333 --> 00:07:21,234
Yes, it is.
167
00:07:22,186 --> 00:07:24,337
It's Bloom, Greenberg
and Associates.
168
00:07:24,338 --> 00:07:25,204
They want me to come interview.
169
00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:29,876
Yes, I know it's risky to go,
but this is the best
170
00:07:29,877 --> 00:07:31,377
environmental law firm
in New York.
171
00:07:31,378 --> 00:07:32,378
It's my dream job.
172
00:07:34,180 --> 00:07:36,181
That's a great idea, babe.
173
00:07:36,182 --> 00:07:37,700
I'll ask them.
174
00:07:37,701 --> 00:07:41,387
Hey, is it at all possible,
could I come in on Monday?
175
00:07:42,389 --> 00:07:44,790
Okay, I'll, I'll see you
at 5:00.
176
00:07:44,791 --> 00:07:45,992
Thank you.
177
00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:53,850
I love and believe in you, too,
baby.
178
00:07:53,851 --> 00:07:55,501
Why would Ted
179
00:07:55,502 --> 00:07:57,336
just give up the button
like that?
180
00:07:58,705 --> 00:08:01,107
And he forgot his phone.
181
00:08:01,108 --> 00:08:03,476
"See you in an hour."
182
00:08:03,477 --> 00:08:04,176
Who's that from?
183
00:08:04,177 --> 00:08:05,177
Zoey.
184
00:08:05,178 --> 00:08:07,113
They're meeting for coffee.
185
00:08:07,114 --> 00:08:10,383
Ted's getting back together
with her!
186
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:18,281
Why would Ted get back together
with Zoey? He's doing great.
187
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:20,590
After a breakup,
we all think we're doing great.
188
00:08:20,591 --> 00:08:23,771
Sometimes the tiniest trigger
can unravel you and send
189
00:08:23,780 --> 00:08:25,815
you crawling right back.
No,
190
00:08:25,830 --> 00:08:28,131
I refuse to believe that Ted
is getting back with Zoey
191
00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:29,166
because of lightbulbs.
192
00:08:29,167 --> 00:08:31,151
Uh, Ted's gone back for less.
193
00:08:35,106 --> 00:08:36,623
Hi, Natalie.
194
00:08:36,624 --> 00:08:38,809
You want to get coffee sometime?
195
00:08:42,830 --> 00:08:43,847
Bro.
196
00:08:43,848 --> 00:08:46,483
Ted, I only have one rule.
197
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:49,519
But I can't reach
the worst part.
198
00:08:50,421 --> 00:08:51,788
Hi, Karen.
199
00:08:51,789 --> 00:08:53,957
Want to get coffee sometime?
200
00:08:55,226 --> 00:08:57,794
Coming up next,
our two local pandas,
201
00:08:57,795 --> 00:09:00,364
Ming Ming and Bao Bao,
are expecting a baby.
202
00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:01,798
Robin, you want to get coffee
203
00:09:01,799 --> 00:09:03,817
sometime...?
204
00:09:03,818 --> 00:09:06,103
Get it together, bro.
205
00:09:06,104 --> 00:09:07,871
According
to my calculations,
206
00:09:07,872 --> 00:09:09,239
at 6:00 p.m.,
207
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,174
my body is gonna pay out
208
00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:13,777
like the most disgusting
slot machine in the world.
209
00:09:13,778 --> 00:09:16,413
That gives me two hours
to go do the interview
210
00:09:16,414 --> 00:09:17,948
and still get back in time.
211
00:09:17,949 --> 00:09:20,450
Oh, but, baby, what if
you hit the jackpot early?
212
00:09:20,451 --> 00:09:22,319
Don't worry.
213
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,222
I'll be prepared.
214
00:09:41,673 --> 00:09:44,074
I'm talking your ear off, sorry.
215
00:09:44,075 --> 00:09:46,410
Is there anything
I can do for you, sweetie?
216
00:09:47,895 --> 00:09:51,698
Can... I... borrow...
217
00:09:51,699 --> 00:09:54,184
an adult diaper?
218
00:09:56,521 --> 00:09:58,071
We've got to stop Ted.
Where are they meeting?
219
00:09:58,072 --> 00:10:01,258
Okay, Zoey wrote, "Meet me
at 6:00, where it all began,
220
00:10:01,259 --> 00:10:03,694
where you gave me the orchid
at the intersection."
221
00:10:03,695 --> 00:10:05,912
Well, that's good.
All we have to do is think back
222
00:10:05,913 --> 00:10:08,265
to the time Ted told us
about his first date with Zoey.
223
00:10:08,266 --> 00:10:10,267
Amazing first
date with Zoey!
224
00:10:10,268 --> 00:10:11,868
We met at the
intersection.
225
00:10:15,039 --> 00:10:17,441
Aw, that's sweet.
226
00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:19,142
You weren't listening either?
227
00:10:19,143 --> 00:10:20,410
I was in a coma.
228
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:23,080
I mean, who pays attention
to that sappy romantic crap?
229
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:25,015
Lily!
230
00:10:25,016 --> 00:10:27,517
Yeah, I wasn't
listening, either.
231
00:10:27,518 --> 00:10:30,220
Ted really can go on
about a bitch.
232
00:10:30,221 --> 00:10:32,489
Great. He could be anywhere.
233
00:10:32,490 --> 00:10:34,057
We're flat out of clues.
234
00:10:34,058 --> 00:10:35,776
Hey, wait. Ted left a message.
235
00:10:35,777 --> 00:10:38,128
I could hear it 'cause
I was in the bathroom...
236
00:10:38,129 --> 00:10:40,230
blowing my nose--
I have the sniffles.
237
00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:43,834
Hey, Lily,
hope you're feeling better.
238
00:10:43,835 --> 00:10:46,069
Marshall told us you're
exploding from both ends
239
00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:48,105
like a busted fire hydrant.
240
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:49,106
Damn it, Marshall.
241
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,640
Anyway, listen, I was going to
242
00:10:50,641 --> 00:10:52,676
get back together with Zoey
today,
243
00:10:52,677 --> 00:10:55,312
but I came to my senses
on the way out here, so...
244
00:10:55,313 --> 00:10:56,713
False alarm.
245
00:10:57,682 --> 00:10:59,015
Oh, crap.
246
00:10:59,016 --> 00:11:00,851
Just stepped in some gum.
247
00:11:00,852 --> 00:11:02,652
I'm getting back together
with Zoey!
248
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,322
Okay, we're never
gonna find him.
249
00:11:05,323 --> 00:11:06,606
Wait, wait, wait.
250
00:11:06,607 --> 00:11:09,259
That's was a subway announcement
in the background.
251
00:11:09,260 --> 00:11:10,460
I speak conductor.
252
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:11,928
Hey, Lily, hope
you're feeling better.
253
00:11:11,929 --> 00:11:13,930
Marshall told us...
Got it.
254
00:11:13,931 --> 00:11:16,166
Ted's at...
255
00:11:20,988 --> 00:11:23,206
Oh...
256
00:11:24,575 --> 00:11:26,510
Ted's at Smith
and Ninth Street.
257
00:11:26,511 --> 00:11:27,661
That's the intersection.
258
00:11:27,662 --> 00:11:29,079
That's in Brooklyn. How are we
259
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:30,280
ever gonna get there in time?
260
00:11:30,281 --> 00:11:31,781
Way ahead of ya.
261
00:11:33,418 --> 00:11:35,419
Hello!
262
00:11:37,588 --> 00:11:40,640
Marshall. Jake Bloom.
Great to meet you.
263
00:11:40,641 --> 00:11:41,758
Hello, hi.
264
00:11:41,759 --> 00:11:43,860
Hey. Oh, I'm sorry
about the stench.
265
00:11:43,861 --> 00:11:46,129
We're suing a factory
that's been dumping raw sewage
266
00:11:46,130 --> 00:11:47,230
into a local marshland.
267
00:11:47,231 --> 00:11:49,966
Yeah, ten minutes ago,
I was knee-deep
268
00:11:49,967 --> 00:11:52,169
in liquefied human feces.
269
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:55,172
And that was just
on the F train.
270
00:11:57,074 --> 00:11:59,509
I can't believe Ted's getting
back together with Zoey.
271
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:01,478
I know. They're
a total train wreck.
272
00:12:01,479 --> 00:12:02,779
Unmitigated disaster.
273
00:12:02,780 --> 00:12:03,847
Worst couple ever.
274
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,049
Yeah, almost as bad as us.
275
00:12:06,050 --> 00:12:08,952
We were a mess.
276
00:12:10,121 --> 00:12:13,323
Do you remember how awful
I looked by the end?
277
00:12:13,324 --> 00:12:14,624
My hair was falling out,
278
00:12:14,625 --> 00:12:17,827
my skin was gray,
my back was hunched.
279
00:12:17,828 --> 00:12:19,713
What about me? I got so fat,
280
00:12:19,714 --> 00:12:22,799
at the end of a date,
you'd unhook my bra.
281
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,136
You were the only boyfriend
I ever motorboated.
282
00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:29,606
Thank God we're not
sentimental saps
283
00:12:29,607 --> 00:12:31,842
who panic
and get back together.
284
00:12:31,843 --> 00:12:32,809
Seriously,
285
00:12:32,810 --> 00:12:34,811
why would people do that?
286
00:12:36,898 --> 00:12:39,065
I guess I get it.
287
00:12:39,066 --> 00:12:40,317
What do you mean?
288
00:12:40,318 --> 00:12:45,422
Well, no matter how bad
things got...
289
00:12:45,423 --> 00:12:48,291
Ted really did love Zoey
for a minute there.
290
00:12:48,292 --> 00:12:50,260
Didn't he?
291
00:12:54,465 --> 00:12:57,234
Yeah... he did.
292
00:12:58,202 --> 00:13:03,340
And... she loved him, too.
293
00:13:03,341 --> 00:13:05,342
Didn't she?
294
00:13:06,844 --> 00:13:09,412
Yeah, she did.
295
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:17,120
Smith and Ninth Street.
296
00:13:17,121 --> 00:13:19,272
So, let me show you some
297
00:13:19,273 --> 00:13:21,691
of the gut-wrenching
environmental atrocities
298
00:13:21,692 --> 00:13:25,195
that we were working
to stop, okay?
299
00:13:25,196 --> 00:13:28,031
Here, pop quiz.
300
00:13:28,032 --> 00:13:30,033
What is that?
301
00:13:30,034 --> 00:13:31,835
That's a seal.
302
00:13:31,836 --> 00:13:34,905
Bingo! Yes, a bloated
seal corpse
303
00:13:34,906 --> 00:13:36,806
rotting in industrial waste.
304
00:13:36,807 --> 00:13:38,008
Mm-hmm.
305
00:13:38,009 --> 00:13:39,976
Now, wait till you see
what we found
306
00:13:39,977 --> 00:13:42,262
when we cut him open.
307
00:13:43,598 --> 00:13:45,515
Okay, where the hell
are they?
308
00:13:45,516 --> 00:13:46,600
Maybe this isn't
the intersection.
309
00:13:46,601 --> 00:13:48,268
Well, maybe it is
and we're too late.
310
00:13:48,269 --> 00:13:50,270
Man, I wish we'd gone
to Brooklyn sooner.
311
00:13:50,271 --> 00:13:52,088
I know, right?
312
00:13:52,089 --> 00:13:54,057
Ever since the Trader Joe's
opened up,
313
00:13:54,058 --> 00:13:56,560
Brooklyn is so... whatever.
314
00:13:56,561 --> 00:13:59,062
Wait. Where'd
you get that?
315
00:13:59,063 --> 00:14:00,363
Across the street
316
00:14:00,364 --> 00:14:02,365
at the Intersection.
317
00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:09,806
So, uh, you guys... want
to buy some weed or...?
318
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,444
She's alone!
There's still time!
319
00:14:20,477 --> 00:14:21,894
But where the
hell is Ted?
320
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:22,946
Wait a minute.
321
00:14:22,947 --> 00:14:25,064
On their first date,
he brought her an orchid.
322
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:28,601
How much do you want to bet
he's gonna do it again?
323
00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:29,569
Brilliant. But wait,
324
00:14:29,570 --> 00:14:31,571
he had a huge
head start on us.
325
00:14:31,572 --> 00:14:33,139
There's no way
he's still in there
326
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:35,241
unless he spent a half an hour
picking out the perfect orchid.
327
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:36,476
Thanks, Julia!
328
00:14:38,279 --> 00:14:43,583
You know what? Let me see
the pink lady slipper again.
329
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:47,387
Now, do you know
what that is?
330
00:14:47,388 --> 00:14:50,990
A pile of rotting seagull
carcasses
331
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:53,826
covered in toxic sludge.
332
00:14:53,827 --> 00:14:56,763
Being eaten by rats. Exactly.
333
00:14:56,764 --> 00:14:58,197
Now this next slide...
334
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:01,701
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's my wife's water birth.
335
00:15:01,702 --> 00:15:04,070
I don't know how that got
in there.
336
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,776
Anyway, that's all my questions.
337
00:15:09,777 --> 00:15:12,545
Oh, my God, I made it!
338
00:15:12,546 --> 00:15:15,148
Now just shake his hand,
clench your very soul
339
00:15:15,149 --> 00:15:16,482
and run like hell!
340
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,820
Now, I like to set aside
20 minutes at the end
341
00:15:20,821 --> 00:15:22,388
of every interview
for your questions.
342
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:23,690
So don't hold back.
343
00:15:23,691 --> 00:15:26,459
Whatever you got inside there,
you just let 'er rip.
344
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,295
I can't do this anymore.
345
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:31,798
I'm just gonna tell him
the truth.
346
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,334
When it's stomach stuff,
347
00:15:34,335 --> 00:15:35,968
you just say
"under the weather"
348
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:39,505
or people start picturing you
doing unspeakable things.
349
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:42,975
I have food poisoning and I'm
about to start volcanoing
350
00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:45,345
toxic sludge out of both ends!
351
00:15:45,346 --> 00:15:46,646
Nailed it.
352
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:51,651
Thanks, Julia!
353
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,221
No, on second thought.
354
00:15:57,091 --> 00:15:59,742
Ooh! Come on.
What the hell?!
355
00:15:59,743 --> 00:16:01,294
You can't get back together
with Zoey just because
356
00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:02,462
you're freaking out
over a lightbulb.
357
00:16:02,463 --> 00:16:04,630
I'm not freaking out
over a lightbulb!
358
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,216
I'm freaking out over
50,000 lightbulbs!
359
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,202
I can't do this!
360
00:16:09,203 --> 00:16:11,838
I only got this job because
you gave it to me, Barney.
361
00:16:11,839 --> 00:16:14,707
I didn't earn it!
362
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:17,477
Look, Ted, the future is scary.
363
00:16:17,478 --> 00:16:19,846
But you can't just run back
to the past
364
00:16:19,847 --> 00:16:21,781
because it's familiar.
365
00:16:22,850 --> 00:16:24,917
Yes, it's tempting.
366
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:29,555
But... it's a mistake.
367
00:16:32,693 --> 00:16:33,893
You're right.
368
00:16:33,894 --> 00:16:37,430
Um, excuse me.
369
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:40,400
Can you give this to the blonde
sitting alone in there
370
00:16:40,401 --> 00:16:43,469
and tell her Ted's really sorry?
371
00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:46,973
Also... indirect sunlight.
372
00:16:46,974 --> 00:16:50,276
Don't overwater. Half a cup
a week is more than enough.
373
00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:03,990
No.
374
00:17:05,726 --> 00:17:07,026
Hi.
375
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:10,613
And kids...
376
00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:12,765
that's how I met your mother.
377
00:17:12,766 --> 00:17:16,302
Psych. It was just some chick.
378
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,440
Hey, baby, how'd it go?
379
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:26,145
Lily, this year, this nasty
schoolyard bully of a year
380
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,314
will not stop punching me
in the face.
381
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,917
How did we kick off 2011?
382
00:17:30,918 --> 00:17:32,385
My dad died.
383
00:17:32,386 --> 00:17:34,754
And now after five months
of unemployment,
384
00:17:34,755 --> 00:17:36,322
I just blew my dream job.
385
00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:38,090
The good news is,
in a few seconds,
386
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,859
I'm gonna start heaving
my guts out
387
00:17:39,860 --> 00:17:41,727
because that's what life is
for me now;
388
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:45,131
just losing what's inside
until I'm just empty.
389
00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:46,599
Baby, come here.
390
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,402
I just want to shut my eyes
391
00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:51,103
for a few seconds
before it starts.
392
00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:04,984
And Marshall slept...
393
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,554
...all night.
394
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,000
Okay, hotshot.
395
00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:22,969
Mr. Stinson.
396
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:25,638
Who's gonna do the honors?
397
00:18:25,639 --> 00:18:27,874
He is.
398
00:18:27,875 --> 00:18:29,192
You sure?
399
00:18:29,193 --> 00:18:31,878
Yeah. You earned it.
400
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,848
All clear!
401
00:18:37,651 --> 00:18:41,687
Hey, new is
always better, right?
402
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:44,056
Always.
403
00:18:45,626 --> 00:18:47,693
Ten, nine,
404
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:48,828
eight...
405
00:18:48,829 --> 00:18:51,731
Lily, it's a miracle.
406
00:18:51,732 --> 00:18:54,700
I didn't get sick.
I didn't get sick.
407
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:58,087
I know, baby.
408
00:18:58,088 --> 00:19:00,506
I'm pregnant.
409
00:19:07,281 --> 00:19:08,514
...one!
410
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:26,265
♪ Let it roll across the floor ♪
411
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:32,038
♪ Through the hall
and out the door ♪
412
00:19:32,039 --> 00:19:34,709
♪ To the fountain of
perpetual birth ♪
413
00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:37,022
I'm proud of you
for giving Ted the button.
414
00:19:37,023 --> 00:19:38,774
It meant a lot.
415
00:19:38,775 --> 00:19:40,509
It's just a button.
416
00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:43,045
Can we talk about
something else, please?
417
00:19:49,852 --> 00:19:51,288
Nora.
Hi.
418
00:19:51,308 --> 00:19:52,575
How you been?
419
00:19:52,671 --> 00:19:54,372
Fine.
420
00:19:55,938 --> 00:19:57,439
Look, I don't
know why
421
00:19:57,479 --> 00:20:01,282
you would possibly say yes
to this, but would you want
422
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:04,051
to grab a cup of coffee with me
sometime?
423
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:07,121
20 minutes.
I was such a jerk to you.
424
00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:08,956
You can spend the entire time
calling me
425
00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:10,391
every dirty name in the book.
426
00:20:10,392 --> 00:20:11,959
I speak four languages.
427
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,194
I'm gonna need more
than 20 minutes.
428
00:20:15,530 --> 00:20:16,831
I'll call you.
429
00:20:17,632 --> 00:20:19,800
You look beautiful,
by the way.
430
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:21,803
And here I thought
it was too late for sundresses.
431
00:20:21,862 --> 00:20:24,030
It's never too late, Barney.
432
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,536
Challenge accepted.
433
00:20:42,252 --> 00:20:43,418
Best man?
434
00:20:43,419 --> 00:20:45,438
You're being summoned.
435
00:20:45,439 --> 00:20:47,289
Geez, what now?
436
00:20:50,227 --> 00:20:52,928
I heard the groom needed me.
437
00:20:55,870 --> 00:20:57,890
What do you think of this tie?
438
00:20:58,397 --> 00:21:02,397
== sync, corrected by elderman ==