1
00:00:02,299 --> 00:00:04,467
Kids, this is a story of landmarks.
2
00:00:04,918 --> 00:00:06,652
There are certain moments in
life when you have to decide
3
00:00:06,653 --> 00:00:08,921
which things you can stand
to see torn down,
4
00:00:08,922 --> 00:00:11,824
and which things you have
to preserve, no matter what.
5
00:00:11,825 --> 00:00:14,059
Such a moment came
for all of us
6
00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:17,630
in May of 2011,
at a special meeting of the
7
00:00:17,631 --> 00:00:19,231
New York City Landmarks
Preservation Commission,
8
00:00:19,232 --> 00:00:20,265
where the fate of The Arcadian
9
00:00:20,266 --> 00:00:21,767
would be decided
once and for all.
10
00:00:21,768 --> 00:00:25,237
A symbol of strength
and constancy,
11
00:00:25,238 --> 00:00:26,705
the stone lion of The Arcadian
12
00:00:26,706 --> 00:00:29,441
has watched over
New Yorkers for generations.
13
00:00:29,442 --> 00:00:30,609
So remember:
14
00:00:30,610 --> 00:00:34,079
if the lion head stonework
is regal,
15
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:38,217
then tearing it down
should be illegal.
16
00:00:38,918 --> 00:00:40,085
Well...
17
00:00:40,086 --> 00:00:42,054
Did you like that?
All right, uh...
18
00:00:42,055 --> 00:00:45,257
We must make sure
the lion is always there.
19
00:00:45,258 --> 00:00:49,962
Destroy The Arcadian?
Oh, no, don't you dare.
20
00:00:53,016 --> 00:00:54,800
Yeah? Yeah? Okay.
21
00:00:54,801 --> 00:00:56,168
Try this one on for size...
22
00:00:56,169 --> 00:00:59,705
If you want New York's history
at your beck and call...
23
00:00:59,706 --> 00:01:01,674
All right, thank you,
Mr. Eriksen.
24
00:01:01,675 --> 00:01:02,992
I just have...
25
00:01:05,612 --> 00:01:08,864
We will now hear from the architect
26
00:01:08,865 --> 00:01:10,616
of the proposed GNB Tower,
27
00:01:10,617 --> 00:01:13,118
Ted Mosby.
28
00:01:14,254 --> 00:01:15,888
Now, uh,
29
00:01:15,889 --> 00:01:18,590
Mr. Mosby, let's just
cut right to the chase.
30
00:01:18,591 --> 00:01:21,260
Do you think The Arcadian
should be a landmark?
31
00:01:32,054 --> 00:01:35,390
Okay, it's killing me. What
rhymes with "beck and call?"
32
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,576
Wrecking ball.
33
00:01:37,577 --> 00:01:39,445
Don't go swinging
no wrecking ball.
34
00:01:39,446 --> 00:01:42,197
Ah...
35
00:01:42,198 --> 00:01:44,016
Thank you.
36
00:01:44,181 --> 00:01:48,181
♪ How I Met Your Mother 6x23 ♪
Landmarks
Original Air Date on May 9, 2011
37
00:01:48,206 --> 00:01:52,206
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
38
00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,098
Mr. Mosby,
39
00:02:00,099 --> 00:02:02,701
do you think The Arcadian
should be a landmark?
40
00:02:02,702 --> 00:02:04,035
It's not a difficult question.
41
00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:06,171
Actually, it was
a difficult question.
42
00:02:06,172 --> 00:02:08,573
Of course, had he asked me
a few days earlier,
43
00:02:08,574 --> 00:02:10,508
I would have
immediately said...
44
00:02:10,509 --> 00:02:13,395
"Yes. The Arcadian
should be a landmark."
45
00:02:13,396 --> 00:02:15,780
And then the crowd
"Oh, my God!
46
00:02:15,781 --> 00:02:17,115
"Did he really
just say that?
47
00:02:17,116 --> 00:02:18,383
"Oh, heavens!
48
00:02:18,384 --> 00:02:19,618
"Oh, my stars!
49
00:02:19,619 --> 00:02:21,486
I must clutch
my pearls!"
50
00:02:21,487 --> 00:02:24,723
So these things are generally
attended by old Southern ladies?
51
00:02:24,724 --> 00:02:26,791
Almost exclusively.
But here's my point:
52
00:02:26,792 --> 00:02:30,495
If they ask GNB's chief
architect-- aka me--
53
00:02:30,496 --> 00:02:33,665
if The Arcadian should be a
landmark, and I say "yes"?
54
00:02:36,602 --> 00:02:38,937
That, no, that wasn't The
Arcadian being destroyed;
55
00:02:38,938 --> 00:02:41,089
that was GNB's hopes of
destroying The Arcadian.
56
00:02:41,090 --> 00:02:42,311
I'm sorry, I should
have been more clear.
57
00:02:42,312 --> 00:02:43,142
Yeah.
58
00:02:43,150 --> 00:02:45,050
The Arcadian's gonna
be all like...
59
00:02:45,745 --> 00:02:47,712
Nice.
60
00:02:47,713 --> 00:02:49,314
I have a message from Barney.
61
00:02:49,315 --> 00:02:50,815
Things between Barney
62
00:02:50,816 --> 00:02:53,885
and the rest of us
had gotten a little frosty.
63
00:02:53,886 --> 00:02:55,553
First this happened.
64
00:02:55,554 --> 00:02:59,291
Meet the new lawyer I hired
to help save The Arcadian.
65
00:03:00,225 --> 00:03:01,426
And then this happened.
66
00:03:01,427 --> 00:03:03,328
What kind of dirtbag
67
00:03:03,329 --> 00:03:06,264
doesn't stand by his best
friends, but instead,
68
00:03:06,265 --> 00:03:08,967
sides with some
self-righteous bitch
69
00:03:08,968 --> 00:03:11,153
with a pointless cause
and a megaphone?!
70
00:03:11,237 --> 00:03:13,171
Dude!
That's my girlfriend.
71
00:03:13,572 --> 00:03:15,206
And ya know what?
72
00:03:15,207 --> 00:03:18,143
I'm on her side now, too.
73
00:03:18,144 --> 00:03:19,844
Which led to this happening.
74
00:03:19,845 --> 00:03:21,846
Message from Barney?
That's my cue to leave.
75
00:03:21,847 --> 00:03:23,231
Good night, guys.
76
00:03:23,232 --> 00:03:25,517
- I love you.
- Mmm. Love you, too.
77
00:03:25,518 --> 00:03:26,985
Good night.
Good night.
78
00:03:26,986 --> 00:03:28,153
All right,
what's the message?
79
00:03:28,154 --> 00:03:29,421
'Cause if it's another
hypothetical
80
00:03:29,422 --> 00:03:32,023
yet eerily accurate
drawing of my boobs...
81
00:03:32,024 --> 00:03:35,393
Yeah, I have that, too.
82
00:03:36,262 --> 00:03:37,796
Damn it.
83
00:03:37,797 --> 00:03:40,565
All right, here's the message.
84
00:03:40,566 --> 00:03:43,134
"Oh, hey, guys.
Didn't see you there.
85
00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:45,770
"I was too busy
feelin' fine and..."
86
00:03:45,771 --> 00:03:47,739
Really?
87
00:03:51,010 --> 00:03:54,245
"Feelin' fine
and gettin' some 'jine."
88
00:03:55,348 --> 00:03:57,515
"You may have
noticed the giant plate
89
00:03:57,516 --> 00:03:59,467
"of hot wings in front of me.
90
00:03:59,468 --> 00:04:01,419
"I know how much
you love hot wings.
91
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:03,121
"Too bad someone
bribed the kitchen
92
00:04:03,122 --> 00:04:05,056
"to take them
off the menu tonight.
93
00:04:05,057 --> 00:04:06,341
"So, if you want some,
94
00:04:06,342 --> 00:04:09,728
"you're going to have
to come back to GNB.
95
00:04:09,729 --> 00:04:11,162
"But hurry, this offer
96
00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:13,631
will be gone lickety-split."
97
00:04:18,004 --> 00:04:20,071
"Do evil laugh."
98
00:04:20,072 --> 00:04:21,373
Oh, um...
99
00:04:25,811 --> 00:04:26,995
So, what are you turds up to?
100
00:04:26,996 --> 00:04:30,015
Oh, we've got the big
LPC meeting in two days.
101
00:04:30,016 --> 00:04:31,649
I have my whole
presentation worked out.
102
00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:34,052
I just need to find a
good rhyme to end on.
103
00:04:34,053 --> 00:04:35,120
Why does it need to rhyme?
104
00:04:35,121 --> 00:04:36,120
Mm.
105
00:04:36,121 --> 00:04:38,690
If you end an argument
with a rhyme,
106
00:04:38,984 --> 00:04:40,924
it's convincing all the time.
Yeah.
107
00:04:40,926 --> 00:04:42,327
It's why in
our apartment:
108
00:04:42,328 --> 00:04:44,329
If you're a-hopin'
to score,
109
00:04:44,330 --> 00:04:46,231
don't leave your socks
on the floor.
110
00:04:46,232 --> 00:04:48,066
And she hasn't since.
No.
111
00:04:48,067 --> 00:04:50,068
Okay, okay.
A couple of things.
112
00:04:50,069 --> 00:04:51,703
Lily, how'd I do?
Nailed it.
113
00:04:52,722 --> 00:04:54,039
Secondly, Ted,
114
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,990
I'm sorry I said
mean things about Zoey.
115
00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:58,676
Are you really going to walk
away from this project
116
00:04:58,677 --> 00:04:59,878
just because you're mad at me?
117
00:04:59,879 --> 00:05:01,913
It's not because
I'm mad at you.
118
00:05:01,914 --> 00:05:04,182
Barney, The Arcadian
was designed
119
00:05:04,183 --> 00:05:05,717
by a guy named
John Clifford Larrabee.
120
00:05:05,718 --> 00:05:07,685
And even though he's been dead
for half a century,
121
00:05:07,686 --> 00:05:10,038
it's my duty,
architect to architect,
122
00:05:10,039 --> 00:05:11,156
to keep his work alive.
123
00:05:11,157 --> 00:05:14,059
Please tell me a little
part of you understands.
124
00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:16,261
I understand.
125
00:05:16,262 --> 00:05:19,731
Zoey has magic lady bits.
What?
126
00:05:19,732 --> 00:05:21,866
Zoey's lady bits...
127
00:05:21,867 --> 00:05:24,702
are magic, and that's
how she controls your mind.
128
00:05:24,703 --> 00:05:27,238
You see,
every few hundred millennia,
129
00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:29,340
lady bits leap forward...
I know
130
00:05:29,341 --> 00:05:30,575
you're only just
getting started,
131
00:05:30,576 --> 00:05:32,444
but this is
already gross.
132
00:05:32,445 --> 00:05:35,180
I once knew such a girl.
133
00:05:35,181 --> 00:05:37,549
It was last call.
134
00:05:37,550 --> 00:05:38,850
In this very bar.
135
00:05:42,488 --> 00:05:45,223
What...?!
136
00:05:45,224 --> 00:05:47,892
No...
137
00:05:47,893 --> 00:05:50,628
What?!
138
00:05:50,629 --> 00:05:52,797
No...
139
00:05:52,798 --> 00:05:55,366
What?!
140
00:05:55,367 --> 00:05:57,502
Um...
141
00:05:57,503 --> 00:06:01,706
thank you for, um, not using
a first name in that story.
142
00:06:03,943 --> 00:06:06,744
Barney, this is
about the building.
143
00:06:06,745 --> 00:06:08,980
Come on. This is so
about the girl.
144
00:06:08,981 --> 00:06:11,449
Okay, fine.
It's about the girl!
145
00:06:11,450 --> 00:06:13,551
I am doing this for Zoey!
146
00:06:13,552 --> 00:06:14,886
I'm in love with her.
147
00:06:14,887 --> 00:06:18,323
Look, I know it's early,
but there's a very good chance
148
00:06:18,324 --> 00:06:20,308
Zoey might be the mother
of my children.
149
00:06:20,309 --> 00:06:23,128
So, in addition to doing this
for John Clifford Larrabee,
150
00:06:23,129 --> 00:06:25,146
I'm also doing this
for Luke and Leia.
151
00:06:25,147 --> 00:06:28,066
Wait. She's gonna let you
name your kids Luke and Leia?
152
00:06:28,067 --> 00:06:30,034
Not if I knock down her favorite
building, she isn't.
153
00:06:30,035 --> 00:06:31,435
Barney, I'm sorry.
154
00:06:31,436 --> 00:06:33,822
Oh, you're not sorry now,
Ted Mosby.
155
00:06:33,823 --> 00:06:35,607
But you will be.
156
00:06:35,608 --> 00:06:39,711
You... will... be.
157
00:06:45,784 --> 00:06:47,268
That's how you do an evil laugh.
158
00:06:47,269 --> 00:06:49,053
Ciao for now.
159
00:06:50,256 --> 00:06:52,190
Now, kids, you remember Arthur Hobbs,
160
00:06:52,191 --> 00:06:54,559
Barney and Marshall's
old boss at GNB?
161
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,928
Well, Arthur was going through
a divorce and taking it
162
00:06:56,929 --> 00:06:58,196
kind of hard.
Hi, Arthur.
163
00:06:58,197 --> 00:07:00,698
Everything okay?
164
00:07:00,699 --> 00:07:02,433
No, everything's not okay.
165
00:07:02,434 --> 00:07:05,870
My stupid wife got
custody of Tugboat.
166
00:07:05,871 --> 00:07:07,272
God, I should have
kept her hidden
167
00:07:07,273 --> 00:07:09,274
in a cage in the basement.
168
00:07:09,275 --> 00:07:11,209
Isn't that animal cruelty?
169
00:07:11,210 --> 00:07:13,111
I'm talking about my wife.
170
00:07:13,112 --> 00:07:15,547
Oh. That's fine, then.
171
00:07:16,532 --> 00:07:20,258
So listen, you know Ted,
the architect?
172
00:07:20,386 --> 00:07:21,986
Yeah, I know your friend Ted.
So,
173
00:07:21,987 --> 00:07:24,289
if Ted stood up at
that big meeting tomorrow
174
00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:27,825
and said that he thought The
Arcadian should be a landmark...
175
00:07:27,826 --> 00:07:30,061
you wouldn't just fire him,
would you?
176
00:07:30,062 --> 00:07:32,997
Right?
177
00:07:32,998 --> 00:07:34,365
You wouldn't just...
178
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:35,500
You wouldn't just... yeah...
179
00:07:35,501 --> 00:07:37,669
No, Barney.
I wouldn't just fire him.
180
00:07:37,714 --> 00:07:39,915
I'd also fire you.
181
00:07:41,318 --> 00:07:42,818
Come again for Big Fudge?
182
00:07:47,421 --> 00:07:50,355
Can you believe that?!
I can't be unemployed, Robin!
183
00:07:50,394 --> 00:07:52,996
My job is my identity;
It's who I am.
184
00:07:52,997 --> 00:07:54,998
It gives me
the confidence I need
185
00:07:54,999 --> 00:07:57,401
to convince girls
I'm a fighter pilot.
186
00:07:57,402 --> 00:07:59,269
I-I don't understand.
187
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,071
Why would he fire you?
188
00:08:01,072 --> 00:08:02,372
I don't understand.
189
00:08:02,373 --> 00:08:03,573
Why would you fire me?
190
00:08:03,574 --> 00:08:05,942
Have you already forgotten
how Mosby got that job?
191
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:08,979
By being
the best architect available?
192
00:08:08,980 --> 00:08:10,580
No.
193
00:08:10,581 --> 00:08:13,583
By... being Latino?
194
00:08:13,584 --> 00:08:16,720
No. Let me refresh your memory.
195
00:08:16,721 --> 00:08:18,588
We were in this very room.
196
00:08:18,589 --> 00:08:20,624
Guys, I'm telling you,
197
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:24,795
if Ted Mosby isn't fantastic,
fire me.
198
00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:26,530
Damn it!
199
00:08:26,531 --> 00:08:27,931
I was kidding?
200
00:08:27,932 --> 00:08:29,266
I'm not kidding!
201
00:08:29,267 --> 00:08:31,201
Oh, by the way, Arthur,
202
00:08:31,202 --> 00:08:32,569
uh, how are things
with you and your wife?
203
00:08:32,570 --> 00:08:33,737
Really good.
204
00:08:33,738 --> 00:08:35,772
In fact, I just put
all my assets in her name.
205
00:08:35,773 --> 00:08:37,708
Smartest thing I've ever done.
206
00:08:37,709 --> 00:08:39,409
Damn it!
No,
207
00:08:39,410 --> 00:08:42,045
you'd better make sure Mosby
doesn't screw up tomorrow.
208
00:08:42,046 --> 00:08:44,014
Because either
that building is going down,
209
00:08:44,015 --> 00:08:46,350
or you're going down.
210
00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:47,784
They're going
211
00:08:47,785 --> 00:08:49,353
to fire him? That sucks.
He loves that job.
212
00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:52,589
And he's been doing it
for years.
213
00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:54,758
Okay, what does Barney
do at GNB?
214
00:08:54,759 --> 00:08:57,027
No idea.
He has a lot of keys.
215
00:08:57,028 --> 00:08:59,129
Okay, Ted, can you just please
think about this before you...
216
00:08:59,130 --> 00:09:00,263
There's nothing to think about.
217
00:09:00,264 --> 00:09:01,665
I-I can't lose Zoey.
218
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,433
That's the only thing
that matters to me right now.
219
00:09:03,434 --> 00:09:04,801
Okay, Ted...
220
00:09:04,802 --> 00:09:06,236
you know I love Zoey.
221
00:09:06,237 --> 00:09:08,872
But, look, sometimes...
222
00:09:08,873 --> 00:09:10,307
I go play chess in the park.
223
00:09:10,308 --> 00:09:12,275
And the key to chess...
224
00:09:12,276 --> 00:09:14,778
Okay, I play online.
225
00:09:14,779 --> 00:09:17,781
But the key to chess...
Okay, it's Angry Birds!
226
00:09:18,616 --> 00:09:20,117
But the key to Angry Birds
227
00:09:20,118 --> 00:09:23,487
is to always try to see
every possible outcome.
228
00:09:23,488 --> 00:09:25,555
And to... hit some pigs
with rocks or something.
229
00:09:25,556 --> 00:09:28,225
I don't know; I don't play.
I can't get it to download.
230
00:09:29,227 --> 00:09:31,728
The point is,
this thing with you and Zoey?
231
00:09:31,729 --> 00:09:34,464
I can see it going
three possible ways.
232
00:09:34,465 --> 00:09:36,032
There's the first scenario.
233
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:37,601
The chairman asks you...
234
00:09:37,602 --> 00:09:39,525
Do you think The Arcadian
should be a landmark?
235
00:09:39,526 --> 00:09:40,871
You say...
No.
236
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,449
And Zoey dumps you on the spot.
237
00:09:42,557 --> 00:09:45,175
We're done here.
238
00:09:45,176 --> 00:09:46,877
There's the second scenario.
239
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,445
The chairman asks you...
240
00:09:48,446 --> 00:09:50,289
Do you think The Arcadian
should be a landmark?
241
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,770
You say...
Yes
242
00:09:51,782 --> 00:09:53,854
And you're happy
for, like, a second,
243
00:09:53,985 --> 00:09:56,153
until you realize the building
you helped save
244
00:09:56,154 --> 00:09:57,454
has just become a monument
245
00:09:57,455 --> 00:09:58,889
to everything
this woman made you give up,
246
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,157
and you resent her for it,
247
00:10:00,158 --> 00:10:03,193
so much so, in fact,
that you dump her.
248
00:10:03,194 --> 00:10:04,394
We're done here.
249
00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:06,268
You said there was
a third scenario.
250
00:10:06,293 --> 00:10:07,431
Right.
251
00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:08,865
The chairman asks you...
252
00:10:08,866 --> 00:10:11,301
Do you think The Arcadian
should be a landmark?
253
00:10:11,302 --> 00:10:13,386
But before you can answer...
254
00:10:13,387 --> 00:10:15,722
You're hit in the neck with
a blow dart fired by the ninja
255
00:10:15,723 --> 00:10:18,275
Zoey's ex-husband hired
to assassinate you.
256
00:10:21,546 --> 00:10:23,513
That one's less likely.
257
00:10:24,115 --> 00:10:26,216
What I'm saying...
258
00:10:26,217 --> 00:10:28,552
what I hate saying...
259
00:10:28,553 --> 00:10:31,054
is this.
260
00:10:31,055 --> 00:10:32,989
You and Zoey are gonna break up.
261
00:10:32,990 --> 00:10:35,425
But you can still
save your career
262
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:36,760
and Barney's.
263
00:10:37,728 --> 00:10:39,129
Okay, first of all,
264
00:10:39,130 --> 00:10:40,931
no ninja's getting a jump on me.
265
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:44,301
I have the reflexes
of a jungle...
266
00:10:44,302 --> 00:10:45,769
Tree?
267
00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:48,472
Second of all,
268
00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:50,574
I don't care that the odds
are stacked against us.
269
00:10:50,575 --> 00:10:52,709
I'd rather try
to make this work with Zoey
270
00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:55,812
than spend the rest of my life
alone playing Angry Birds,
271
00:10:55,813 --> 00:10:56,980
which, by the way, I've shown
you how to download,
272
00:10:56,981 --> 00:10:59,149
like, 20 times.
I've got to say,
273
00:10:59,150 --> 00:11:00,584
I'm with Ted on this.
274
00:11:00,585 --> 00:11:01,818
Thank you.
I mean, yes,
275
00:11:01,819 --> 00:11:04,137
this is a huge,
divisive issue for them.
276
00:11:04,138 --> 00:11:06,089
Which means
no matter what happens,
277
00:11:06,090 --> 00:11:08,325
there's gonna be
a lot of resentment.
278
00:11:08,326 --> 00:11:09,593
Probably lasting
279
00:11:09,594 --> 00:11:11,127
for years...
280
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:15,499
infecting every single moment of
the rest of their relationship.
281
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:18,401
So, in conclusion,
I'm with Robin on this.
282
00:11:18,402 --> 00:11:20,170
Thank you.
283
00:11:20,171 --> 00:11:21,738
That night,
284
00:11:21,739 --> 00:11:23,974
as I slept soundly...
285
00:11:31,549 --> 00:11:33,683
Barney, what are you doing?
286
00:11:33,684 --> 00:11:35,852
Who is this Barney?
287
00:11:35,853 --> 00:11:38,138
My name is
John Clifford Larrabee,
288
00:11:38,139 --> 00:11:40,190
architect of The Arcadian.
289
00:11:40,191 --> 00:11:41,191
And I am
290
00:11:41,192 --> 00:11:42,425
visiting you
291
00:11:42,426 --> 00:11:45,128
in a dream...
292
00:11:45,129 --> 00:11:47,330
Really? 'Cause it feels
more like my insane friend
293
00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:49,599
renting a costume
and breaking into my apartment
294
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,067
in the middle of the night
295
00:11:51,068 --> 00:11:53,770
for what I wish
I could say was the first time.
296
00:11:53,771 --> 00:11:55,272
Look, it's a dream, it is.
297
00:11:55,273 --> 00:11:57,474
So just... okay?
298
00:11:59,277 --> 00:12:00,944
Theodore...
299
00:12:00,945 --> 00:12:02,679
heed my words:
300
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:06,283
do not try to save
The Arcadian.
301
00:12:06,284 --> 00:12:07,584
Barney, there's condoms
in the drawer.
302
00:12:07,585 --> 00:12:08,835
Just take them and get out.
303
00:12:08,836 --> 00:12:11,054
I am not
304
00:12:11,055 --> 00:12:12,339
Barney...
305
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:15,358
Whoa! Lighting change!
306
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:20,063
Theodore, you know The Arcadian
is a badly built,
307
00:12:20,064 --> 00:12:22,966
architecturally unimportant
rat's nest
308
00:12:22,967 --> 00:12:25,769
designed by an overpaid,
plagiarizing ether addict
309
00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:27,437
with two thumbs.
310
00:12:27,438 --> 00:12:29,406
This guy.
311
00:12:29,407 --> 00:12:31,841
Okay, yes,
it's-it's a terrible building,
312
00:12:31,842 --> 00:12:34,978
but... does that mean
we have to knock it down?
313
00:12:34,979 --> 00:12:37,147
I mean, it's
not bothering anyone.
314
00:12:37,148 --> 00:12:39,416
Just anyone who lives in it.
315
00:12:39,417 --> 00:12:41,318
Or looks at it.
316
00:12:41,319 --> 00:12:42,986
Or smells it.
317
00:12:42,987 --> 00:12:46,489
New York is never finished,
Theodore.
318
00:12:46,490 --> 00:12:47,958
She's a lady
319
00:12:47,959 --> 00:12:50,994
only a handful of architects
ever get to dance with.
320
00:12:50,995 --> 00:12:52,362
Do not miss
321
00:12:52,363 --> 00:12:54,331
your turn.
322
00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:59,269
The Arcadian has to go,
doesn't it?
323
00:12:59,270 --> 00:13:00,470
Indeed.
324
00:13:00,471 --> 00:13:04,007
You realize this kind of
screws up my personal life.
325
00:13:04,008 --> 00:13:06,509
Mo' buildings, mo' problems.
326
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,514
This is a dream, right?
327
00:13:11,515 --> 00:13:14,150
Because, Barney, I swear to God,
if that's you...
328
00:13:18,489 --> 00:13:22,292
Mommy's got
Magic Lady Bits, Ted.
329
00:13:22,293 --> 00:13:24,961
Dream! Dream!
330
00:13:24,962 --> 00:13:26,730
It was just a dream.
331
00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:36,706
♪ ♪
332
00:13:45,916 --> 00:13:48,952
Hey. I know it's late,
but, uh...
333
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,221
you want to meet up?
334
00:13:52,023 --> 00:13:53,490
Hello, Mr. Lion.
335
00:13:53,491 --> 00:13:55,125
"Look on my works,
336
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:58,828
ye mighty, and despair"
337
00:13:58,829 --> 00:14:02,966
Hey, I met you right...
338
00:14:06,437 --> 00:14:07,654
...here.
339
00:14:07,655 --> 00:14:09,356
Right. And I mistook you
340
00:14:09,357 --> 00:14:11,157
for a prostitute right...
341
00:14:11,158 --> 00:14:13,109
here.
342
00:14:13,110 --> 00:14:14,778
As far as you know,
I still could be one.
343
00:14:14,779 --> 00:14:15,812
Ah.
And you,
344
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:18,198
my good man, have
run up quite a tab.
345
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:25,321
Worth every penny.
346
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,758
All right...
347
00:14:28,759 --> 00:14:30,210
this was fun.
348
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,798
I'm gonna take this cab.
349
00:14:34,799 --> 00:14:36,499
Big day tomorrow.
350
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,468
We need to get some sleep.
351
00:14:42,890 --> 00:14:45,241
And yet...
352
00:14:45,242 --> 00:14:48,011
No, we should get some sleep.
353
00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:50,146
But this was fun.
354
00:14:50,147 --> 00:14:51,514
Yeah.
355
00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:53,349
It's nice getting one last look
356
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,385
to remember what
we're trying to save.
357
00:14:55,386 --> 00:14:58,722
Exactly.
358
00:14:59,557 --> 00:15:00,757
You okay?
359
00:15:00,758 --> 00:15:02,625
Yeah. Good night.
360
00:15:02,626 --> 00:15:07,397
Mr. Mosby, I'm going
to ask you one last time.
361
00:15:07,398 --> 00:15:09,999
Should The Arcadian
be a landmark?
362
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:14,471
No, it shouldn't be a landmark.
363
00:15:15,406 --> 00:15:16,439
There are a lot
364
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,141
of important buildings
in New York.
365
00:15:18,142 --> 00:15:19,943
The Arcadian isn't one of them.
366
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:25,749
E-Excuse me,
367
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,383
I have a question for Mr. Mosby.
368
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:28,768
If he doesn't think
369
00:15:28,769 --> 00:15:32,689
The Arcadian's worth saving,
then whose voice is this?
370
00:15:32,690 --> 00:15:35,291
The Arcadian should be a landmark.
371
00:15:35,292 --> 00:15:36,726
It should.
372
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:39,763
The lion head stonework
is iconic.
373
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:41,998
I hate working for GNB.
374
00:15:41,999 --> 00:15:43,233
They're a bunch of...
375
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:45,235
wieners and gonads.
376
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,270
Oh, heavens!
377
00:15:47,271 --> 00:15:48,972
My stars!
378
00:15:48,973 --> 00:15:50,874
Is that your voice, Mr. Mosby?
379
00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:57,881
Yeah, that's me.
380
00:16:02,654 --> 00:16:04,621
This is a nightmare.
I can't believe
381
00:16:04,652 --> 00:16:05,685
she kept that tape.
382
00:16:05,686 --> 00:16:06,653
The LPC's gonna
383
00:16:06,654 --> 00:16:08,321
come back with a decision
tomorrow,
384
00:16:08,322 --> 00:16:09,589
and based on today...
385
00:16:09,590 --> 00:16:11,357
They're gonna landmark
the hell out of that place.
386
00:16:11,358 --> 00:16:13,693
Yeah. We'll end up
out of a job,
387
00:16:13,694 --> 00:16:18,298
all thanks to some stupid,
only sort of awesome lion head.
388
00:16:18,299 --> 00:16:20,100
Better get used
to that lion head.
389
00:16:20,101 --> 00:16:24,037
As of tomorrow, it's gonna be
there till the end of times.
390
00:16:24,038 --> 00:16:26,873
And all because
of my sweet, sweet rhymes.
391
00:16:28,376 --> 00:16:30,644
What are we gonna do?
392
00:16:32,947 --> 00:16:36,216
We should buy a bar.
We should totally buy a bar!
393
00:16:36,217 --> 00:16:37,884
We should absolutely
totally buy a bar!
394
00:16:37,885 --> 00:16:39,553
It's really the only
sensible idea right now.
395
00:16:39,554 --> 00:16:40,854
Oh, oh, and ready?
396
00:16:40,855 --> 00:16:42,222
It's a theme bar.
397
00:16:42,223 --> 00:16:43,256
Mm!
398
00:16:43,257 --> 00:16:44,291
It's a courtroom.
399
00:16:44,292 --> 00:16:46,343
Yes!
Ah!
400
00:16:46,344 --> 00:16:49,529
Where the bartenders
wear sexy judges' robes.
401
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,164
I'll allow it!
402
00:16:51,165 --> 00:16:53,567
The only court where you
show up, then get served.
403
00:16:53,568 --> 00:16:54,567
Ho!
404
00:16:54,568 --> 00:16:56,837
You're judged by a jury
of your beers.
405
00:16:56,838 --> 00:16:57,754
That's not bad.
406
00:16:57,755 --> 00:16:58,772
Just stop it!
407
00:16:58,773 --> 00:16:59,840
No one's buying a bar.
408
00:16:59,841 --> 00:17:01,425
Right now we have
a little problem.
409
00:17:01,426 --> 00:17:03,243
Let's just think
of a solution.
410
00:17:03,244 --> 00:17:05,212
Lily, it's over.
411
00:17:05,213 --> 00:17:06,880
The good guys lost.
412
00:17:06,881 --> 00:17:09,549
I don't know, homegirl
is pretty diabolical.
413
00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:12,619
If there is a plan
that'll get us out of this,
414
00:17:12,620 --> 00:17:15,722
it's somewhere
inside this butter churn.
415
00:17:15,723 --> 00:17:17,858
She'll think of it.
416
00:17:17,859 --> 00:17:20,660
I'm just gonna sit here...
417
00:17:20,661 --> 00:17:22,612
and watch it happen.
418
00:17:24,999 --> 00:17:26,700
And she's got it!
419
00:17:26,701 --> 00:17:28,285
Lily, what's the plan?
420
00:17:28,286 --> 00:17:30,937
Oh, this ought to be good.
421
00:17:30,938 --> 00:17:33,073
And then Lily told us her plan.
422
00:17:33,074 --> 00:17:36,076
Oh, this is good!
423
00:17:36,077 --> 00:17:38,011
We have to find
Arthur right now.
424
00:17:40,498 --> 00:17:42,582
What is so difficult
about this?!
425
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:44,284
Tugboat figured this out
in, like, five minutes.
426
00:17:44,285 --> 00:17:46,019
This is bush league!
427
00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:47,287
Hey, Arthur!
428
00:17:47,288 --> 00:17:49,289
Oh, cute dog!
429
00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:52,092
No! Tugboat, my other dog,
that was a cute dog.
430
00:17:52,093 --> 00:17:55,595
This little disappointment is
nothing but a cheap facsimile.
431
00:17:55,596 --> 00:17:56,863
I said it!
432
00:17:56,864 --> 00:17:58,465
Yeah, my love is
reserved for dogs
433
00:17:58,466 --> 00:18:00,333
that go to the bathroom
on command
434
00:18:00,334 --> 00:18:02,335
instead of wasting my time!
435
00:18:02,336 --> 00:18:05,172
Listen, Arthur, Marshall's wife
436
00:18:05,173 --> 00:18:09,009
has an idea for how we can
save not saving The Arcadian.
437
00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:10,360
Oh, his wife has an idea.
438
00:18:10,361 --> 00:18:11,945
Let me tell you
about wives, okay?
439
00:18:11,946 --> 00:18:14,364
They leave you and take
your best friend with them.
440
00:18:14,365 --> 00:18:15,615
You're not Tugboat!
441
00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:18,185
You'll never be Tugboat!
442
00:18:19,253 --> 00:18:22,289
Uh...
443
00:18:22,290 --> 00:18:23,656
Hey, Arthur?
444
00:18:31,265 --> 00:18:34,851
I guess this one's
kind of cute or whatever.
445
00:18:35,903 --> 00:18:38,805
So... so what's the idea?
446
00:18:38,806 --> 00:18:41,775
Okay, first hear
my demands. One,
447
00:18:41,776 --> 00:18:44,177
Ted and Barney
keep their jobs.
448
00:18:44,178 --> 00:18:46,880
Two, when you guys do finally
blow up The Arcadian,
449
00:18:46,881 --> 00:18:48,982
one of them gets
to push the button.
450
00:18:48,983 --> 00:18:50,984
Dibs.
Dibs.
451
00:18:50,985 --> 00:18:52,903
Fine! What's the idea?
452
00:18:52,904 --> 00:18:54,754
Well...
Kids, for legal reasons,
453
00:18:54,755 --> 00:18:56,790
I have to skip
this part of the story
454
00:18:56,791 --> 00:18:58,525
and jump ahead
to the next night,
455
00:18:58,526 --> 00:19:00,026
as the Landmarks
Preservation Commission
456
00:19:00,027 --> 00:19:01,261
gave their verdict.
457
00:19:01,262 --> 00:19:02,262
Last night,
458
00:19:02,263 --> 00:19:03,930
this committee took a vote,
459
00:19:03,931 --> 00:19:07,567
and while we have all felt
from the very beginning that
460
00:19:07,568 --> 00:19:08,935
The Arcadian is,
461
00:19:08,936 --> 00:19:11,571
well, an eyesore...
462
00:19:11,572 --> 00:19:14,774
Mr. Mosby's surprising testimony
463
00:19:14,775 --> 00:19:16,843
about the lion's head
stonework
464
00:19:16,844 --> 00:19:19,779
left us no choice
but to declare it...
465
00:19:19,780 --> 00:19:21,514
a landmark.
466
00:19:25,186 --> 00:19:28,989
But then, something else
happened last night.
467
00:19:28,990 --> 00:19:31,024
That same lion's head
468
00:19:31,025 --> 00:19:32,225
stonework...
469
00:19:35,129 --> 00:19:36,096
...disappeared.
470
00:19:36,097 --> 00:19:38,665
So...
471
00:19:38,666 --> 00:19:41,368
that makes our job
a little easier.
472
00:19:41,369 --> 00:19:43,069
Motion denied.
473
00:19:52,813 --> 00:19:53,847
Zoey...
474
00:19:53,848 --> 00:19:55,081
Zoey!
475
00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:58,852
All right, what do you have
to say for yourself?
476
00:20:00,454 --> 00:20:01,855
I don't know.
477
00:20:01,856 --> 00:20:05,292
Sometimes... things
have to fall apart
478
00:20:05,293 --> 00:20:08,495
to make way for better things.
479
00:20:17,805 --> 00:20:19,139
We're done here.
480
00:20:19,140 --> 00:20:22,840
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
481
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,880
Okay, you don't have
to hold back anymore.
482
00:20:30,881 --> 00:20:33,494
You may now say what
you really think of Zoey.
483
00:20:34,205 --> 00:20:36,073
I don't know, she may have been
right about that lion's head.
484
00:20:36,112 --> 00:20:38,180
It gave The Arcadian
a regal elegance.
485
00:20:38,181 --> 00:20:40,916
Then again, it goes
really nice with my duvet.
486
00:20:42,819 --> 00:20:45,654
I hope I used the right screws.