1 00:00:01,449 --> 00:00:06,072 TED: And so, due to one architectural oversight, 2 00:00:03,664 --> 00:00:05,465 the Toledo Bridge Disaster of 1906 3 00:00:06,396 --> 00:00:08,900 claimed the lives of 75 people. 4 00:00:08,901 --> 00:00:12,104 Now, I hate to stop while I'm on a roll, 5 00:00:12,105 --> 00:00:14,542 but happy Halloween, ya crazies! 6 00:00:14,543 --> 00:00:16,010 (class cheering) 7 00:00:16,011 --> 00:00:17,644 Hey, Professor Brosby, 8 00:00:17,645 --> 00:00:19,480 you gonna come get beers with us later? 9 00:00:19,481 --> 00:00:20,749 Nah, I got a thing. 10 00:00:20,750 --> 00:00:22,950 But you kids have fun trick or treating. 11 00:00:22,951 --> 00:00:24,118 This is a treat. 12 00:00:24,119 --> 00:00:26,521 You're the coolest, Professor Mosby. 13 00:00:26,522 --> 00:00:27,722 Well, hot dog. 14 00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:29,690 (class laughs) LILY: Did it hurt? 15 00:00:29,691 --> 00:00:30,691 What? 16 00:00:30,692 --> 00:00:32,125 Getting that kid's nose 17 00:00:32,126 --> 00:00:34,427 surgically removed from your ass. 18 00:00:34,428 --> 00:00:38,364 It's not her nose that's in my ass, Lily, it's her heart. 19 00:00:38,365 --> 00:00:40,565 My class loves me; I-I'm really making 20 00:00:40,566 --> 00:00:42,500 an impression on those guys. 21 00:00:43,937 --> 00:00:45,971 I'd like to make impression on those guys. 22 00:00:45,972 --> 00:00:48,708 Man, I love the office Halloween party. 23 00:00:48,709 --> 00:00:51,912 It is so much sluttier than the office Christmas party. 24 00:00:51,913 --> 00:00:53,448 Though not as freaky 25 00:00:53,449 --> 00:00:55,851 as the office President's Day Rave. 26 00:00:55,852 --> 00:00:58,955 Or the office Tu B'Shvat Pajama Jammy-Jam. 27 00:00:59,724 --> 00:01:01,390 Hey, guys. Hey, Boss. 28 00:01:01,391 --> 00:01:03,027 Hey, Randy. Uh, you want a beer? 29 00:01:03,028 --> 00:01:04,761 Oh, no, thank you. I brew my own. 30 00:01:04,762 --> 00:01:05,762 At the risk of bragging, 31 00:01:05,763 --> 00:01:08,299 my Hazelnut Pilsner won fourth prize 32 00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:09,767 at the Weehawken Retirement Home 33 00:01:09,768 --> 00:01:12,303 Clam Bake and Wheelchair Maintenance Picnic. 34 00:01:12,304 --> 00:01:15,239 I wouldn't consider any part of that bragging. 35 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,774 Hey, it just occurred to me, is your friend-- 36 00:01:17,775 --> 00:01:19,509 what's her name?-- Garbin, Flabin... 37 00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:21,044 Robin? Robin. That's it, yeah. 38 00:01:21,045 --> 00:01:23,346 Is she gonna be here? Oh, not that I really care. 39 00:01:23,347 --> 00:01:24,981 Robin has another party to go to. 40 00:01:24,982 --> 00:01:26,482 No! Damn it! 41 00:01:26,483 --> 00:01:28,185 I'm leaving. 42 00:01:28,186 --> 00:01:29,353 But she might stop by later. 43 00:01:29,354 --> 00:01:31,588 I guess I can hang out a little longer. 44 00:01:37,729 --> 00:01:40,331 So, anyone going to see the Halloween parade? 45 00:01:40,332 --> 00:01:43,400 NARRATOR: Oh, we were big fans of New York's annual Halloween parade. 46 00:01:43,401 --> 00:01:45,068 I don't mean the one that takes place 47 00:01:45,069 --> 00:01:46,636 Halloween night in the Village. 48 00:01:46,637 --> 00:01:49,005 I mean the one that takes place the morning of November 1st-- 49 00:01:49,006 --> 00:01:52,509 the Annual Post Halloween Walk of Shame Parade. 50 00:01:52,510 --> 00:01:54,277 Look at them heading home 51 00:01:54,278 --> 00:01:56,846 after their dirty, filthy hookups. 52 00:01:56,847 --> 00:02:00,182 (shudders) Looks like that bee got busy. 53 00:02:00,183 --> 00:02:01,684 (chuckles) 54 00:02:01,685 --> 00:02:04,453 Looks like that French maid didn't turn down somebody's bed. 55 00:02:04,454 --> 00:02:07,924 Oh, looks like Pocahontas has a couple of wounded knees. 56 00:02:07,925 --> 00:02:09,759 Come on, Marshall. That's a line. 57 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,761 No, it's because of the... We get it. 58 00:02:11,762 --> 00:02:13,630 Does it get any better than this? 59 00:02:13,631 --> 00:02:15,766 Uh, yes. 60 00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:17,635 Yes, it does. 61 00:02:19,137 --> 00:02:20,270 (sighs) 62 00:02:20,271 --> 00:02:22,072 Crap. 63 00:02:22,073 --> 00:02:26,144 ♪ How I Met Your Mother 6x07 ♪ Canning Randy Original Air Date on November 1, 2010 64 00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:30,148 -- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 65 00:02:37,906 --> 00:02:41,476 There she is-- Florence Night-In-Bed-With-A-Stranger. 66 00:02:42,271 --> 00:02:44,439 So, who's the lucky patient? 67 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:45,774 I don't want to talk about it. 68 00:02:45,775 --> 00:02:47,242 Please tell me you're not hooking up 69 00:02:47,243 --> 00:02:48,811 with one of your co-anchors again. 70 00:02:48,812 --> 00:02:50,379 My co-anchor's a woman. Please tell me you are hooking up 71 00:02:50,380 --> 00:02:51,714 with one of your co-anchors again. 72 00:02:51,715 --> 00:02:53,583 (laughing) NARRATOR: Robin had always believed 73 00:02:53,584 --> 00:02:55,151 that the key to success 74 00:02:55,152 --> 00:02:56,886 was intelligence, hard work and professionalism. 75 00:02:56,887 --> 00:02:59,088 Her new co-anchor Becky had a different philosophy. 76 00:02:59,089 --> 00:03:02,224 (techno music playing) Boats! Boats! Boats! 77 00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:04,226 ANNOUNCER: It's the Farhampton Boat Show! 78 00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:07,730 Boats! Boats! Boats! 79 00:03:07,731 --> 00:03:09,198 Remember 5th, 6th and 7th 80 00:03:09,199 --> 00:03:10,866 at the Farhampton Civic Center. 81 00:03:10,867 --> 00:03:12,167 Boats! Boats! Boats! 82 00:03:12,168 --> 00:03:13,635 Come on down. 83 00:03:13,636 --> 00:03:16,004 B-B-B-Boats! 84 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,874 You did a commercial? 85 00:03:18,875 --> 00:03:20,176 Why not? 86 00:03:20,177 --> 00:03:21,210 You're a journalist! 87 00:03:21,211 --> 00:03:23,045 Don't you want to be taken seriously? 88 00:03:23,046 --> 00:03:24,480 No. I'm cute. 89 00:03:24,481 --> 00:03:26,082 Okay, well, if you really think 90 00:03:26,083 --> 00:03:27,950 this is going to help your image. 91 00:03:27,951 --> 00:03:30,920 Hi, Becky. Boats, boats, boats! 92 00:03:31,988 --> 00:03:35,090 Robin, a little help here? 93 00:03:35,091 --> 00:03:36,792 Aw... Oh... Robin, 94 00:03:36,793 --> 00:03:38,994 you gotta not worry so much about being liked. 95 00:03:38,995 --> 00:03:40,430 Oh, easy for you to say. 96 00:03:40,431 --> 00:03:42,031 Everybody loves you at your job. 97 00:03:42,032 --> 00:03:44,066 Mm. That was true of my teaching job. 98 00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:46,603 But I was also designing the new headquarters 99 00:03:46,604 --> 00:03:48,438 for Goliath National Bank, and well... 100 00:03:48,439 --> 00:03:51,842 Ted Mosby, we don't like you! 101 00:03:51,843 --> 00:03:53,577 What do you have to say for yourself, 102 00:03:53,578 --> 00:03:55,145 tearing down a beautiful, old building 103 00:03:55,146 --> 00:03:57,281 just to put up a stupid band headquarters? 104 00:03:57,282 --> 00:03:58,482 Hmm... 105 00:03:58,483 --> 00:03:59,883 Boo... 106 00:03:59,884 --> 00:04:01,285 freakin'... 107 00:04:01,286 --> 00:04:02,553 hoo. 108 00:04:02,554 --> 00:04:04,888 Boo freakin' hoo? That's it? 109 00:04:05,557 --> 00:04:06,724 The Arcadian 110 00:04:06,725 --> 00:04:08,792 is an architecturally significant... 111 00:04:08,793 --> 00:04:10,628 Architecturally significant?! 112 00:04:10,629 --> 00:04:12,797 Zoey, you're very pretty. 113 00:04:12,798 --> 00:04:14,098 Your hair smells great. 114 00:04:14,099 --> 00:04:16,100 Shampoo. You should try it sometime. 115 00:04:16,101 --> 00:04:18,769 You don't know the first thing about architecture. 116 00:04:18,770 --> 00:04:21,105 Key Ted Mosby's car. 117 00:04:21,106 --> 00:04:22,573 Go on. 118 00:04:22,574 --> 00:04:23,974 I'm a professor, okay? 119 00:04:23,975 --> 00:04:26,744 I teach this stuff at one of the best colleges in the country. 120 00:04:26,745 --> 00:04:28,846 I don't go down to your place of non-employment 121 00:04:28,847 --> 00:04:31,015 and lecture you about how your little protest 122 00:04:31,016 --> 00:04:32,716 is a misguided waste of time, 123 00:04:32,717 --> 00:04:34,618 except whoops, I just did. 124 00:04:34,619 --> 00:04:35,919 Ha-burn. 125 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,489 Oh, good, the eggs are here. Well, I should head up. 126 00:04:38,490 --> 00:04:40,524 NARRATOR: No, GNB was not popular. 127 00:04:40,525 --> 00:04:42,626 That's why every year they produced a feel-good video 128 00:04:42,627 --> 00:04:44,028 to improve the bank's image. 129 00:04:44,029 --> 00:04:46,129 GNB ANNOUNCER: What makes Goliath National Bank 130 00:04:46,130 --> 00:04:47,564 different from other big banks? 131 00:04:47,565 --> 00:04:49,632 Here at GNB, we care. 132 00:04:49,633 --> 00:04:53,236 I care about our precious Earth. 133 00:04:54,071 --> 00:04:57,840 I care about old people. 134 00:04:57,841 --> 00:05:01,276 I care about high-yield offshore investments. 135 00:05:01,277 --> 00:05:02,811 And so does Tugboat here. 136 00:05:02,812 --> 00:05:04,979 Isn't that right, Tugboat? Yeah. 137 00:05:05,814 --> 00:05:08,082 Okay, get that camera out of my face 138 00:05:08,083 --> 00:05:10,317 before I flip you like a cheese omelet. 139 00:05:10,318 --> 00:05:11,786 All you have to do is say 140 00:05:11,787 --> 00:05:15,323 "I care about making dreams come true." 141 00:05:15,324 --> 00:05:18,093 First of all, that line makes me sound like a hooker 142 00:05:18,094 --> 00:05:20,796 and saying it makes me feel like a hooker, so. 143 00:05:20,797 --> 00:05:22,298 Everyone is in this video. 144 00:05:22,299 --> 00:05:24,434 Randy's in the video. 145 00:05:24,435 --> 00:05:26,937 I don't want to brag, but in 29 takes, 146 00:05:26,938 --> 00:05:28,438 I only threw up thrice. 147 00:05:28,439 --> 00:05:31,909 Wait. Randy, did you send the Hermanson contracts downtown? 148 00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:33,010 I did. 149 00:05:33,011 --> 00:05:34,578 I sent them downtown. 150 00:05:34,579 --> 00:05:35,980 Why are you saying it like that? 151 00:05:35,981 --> 00:05:37,581 They never arrived at the downtown office. 152 00:05:37,582 --> 00:05:38,782 They... 153 00:05:38,783 --> 00:05:41,085 Well, just to make sure we're on the same page, 154 00:05:41,086 --> 00:05:42,353 is "send them downtown" 155 00:05:42,354 --> 00:05:44,721 not an expression for shredding a document? 156 00:05:45,523 --> 00:05:46,656 You shredded them?! 157 00:05:46,657 --> 00:05:48,391 Yeah. I sent them downtown. 158 00:05:48,392 --> 00:05:50,093 You know, down into the shredder. 159 00:05:50,094 --> 00:05:51,394 You-you feed the paper 160 00:05:51,395 --> 00:05:52,495 in a downwards fashion, 161 00:05:52,496 --> 00:05:54,163 so that's where the expression comes from. 162 00:05:54,164 --> 00:05:55,264 That's not an expression! 163 00:05:55,265 --> 00:05:56,699 That has never been an expression! 164 00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:57,867 Okay, I can fix this. 165 00:05:57,868 --> 00:05:59,502 I am all over this project. 166 00:06:02,106 --> 00:06:03,840 I'll say this: 167 00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:05,810 There is no quit in that guy. 168 00:06:05,811 --> 00:06:07,011 You should fire him. 169 00:06:07,012 --> 00:06:08,880 Okay, that, that right there. 170 00:06:08,881 --> 00:06:11,182 That attitude is exactly why I won't be in your video. 171 00:06:11,183 --> 00:06:12,951 Because GNB doesn't care. 172 00:06:12,952 --> 00:06:14,986 They hand out pink slips like they're hors d'oevres. 173 00:06:14,987 --> 00:06:17,255 Just last week, I was talking to Arthur... 174 00:06:17,256 --> 00:06:20,391 Oh, whoa, you're wearing a green tie now. 175 00:06:20,392 --> 00:06:22,359 I'm wearing a green tie. 176 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:23,627 (elevator bell dings) 177 00:06:23,628 --> 00:06:25,996 GNB treats people like they're disposable, 178 00:06:25,997 --> 00:06:28,031 and I will not be a part of that. 179 00:06:28,032 --> 00:06:32,234 Marshall Eriksen does not fire people, period. 180 00:06:32,235 --> 00:06:34,135 Uh, just want you to know, 181 00:06:34,136 --> 00:06:36,872 we are making good progress on this new project. 182 00:06:36,873 --> 00:06:37,840 (phone rings) 183 00:06:37,841 --> 00:06:39,241 Oh, you gentlemen keep talking, 184 00:06:39,242 --> 00:06:40,976 I will answer that. 185 00:06:40,977 --> 00:06:42,577 Marshall Eriksen's office. 186 00:06:42,578 --> 00:06:44,079 Yeah, I can get that for you. 187 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:45,580 Just a second. 188 00:06:48,118 --> 00:06:50,820 Uh... bank. The "B" stands for bank. 189 00:06:50,821 --> 00:06:52,921 Okay, Mother, I'll see you tonight. 190 00:06:52,922 --> 00:06:55,624 Oh, yikes. I'd better get Mr. Messy a napkin. 191 00:06:58,729 --> 00:07:03,099 (loud clattering) 192 00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:05,768 Period. 193 00:07:05,769 --> 00:07:07,670 Just tell me who you slept with! 194 00:07:07,671 --> 00:07:09,572 Lily, I don't want to get into it, okay? 195 00:07:09,573 --> 00:07:11,975 Aha, it's someone we know. 196 00:07:11,976 --> 00:07:13,977 If it was some ding dong we didn't know, 197 00:07:13,978 --> 00:07:15,178 you'd just give me his name. 198 00:07:15,179 --> 00:07:18,648 Fine. It's Bill Pepper. 199 00:07:18,649 --> 00:07:19,883 Bill Pepper? 200 00:07:19,884 --> 00:07:21,184 Mm-hmm. 201 00:07:21,185 --> 00:07:23,353 Kind of a coincidence there happens 202 00:07:23,354 --> 00:07:25,655 to be a bill and a pepper shaker here on the table. 203 00:07:25,656 --> 00:07:29,793 (gasps) Any chance you and Bill had a three-way with Fork Napkin? 204 00:07:29,794 --> 00:07:30,960 Oh... 205 00:07:30,961 --> 00:07:33,330 It's someone we know! 206 00:07:33,331 --> 00:07:36,633 So, I'm assuming you all read the chapters 207 00:07:36,634 --> 00:07:38,169 on the Greek Revival architecture. 208 00:07:38,170 --> 00:07:39,103 Any questions? 209 00:07:39,104 --> 00:07:41,271 Yes. How do you sleep at night? 210 00:07:44,399 --> 00:07:46,733 What are you doing here? It was recently made clear to me 211 00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,835 that I don't know the first thing about architecture, 212 00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,804 so here I am. 213 00:07:52,854 --> 00:07:55,323 Very well, then, let's get started. 214 00:07:55,377 --> 00:07:56,511 (clears throat) 215 00:07:56,512 --> 00:07:58,613 Some examples of Greek Revival architecture... 216 00:07:58,614 --> 00:07:59,581 Ooh! Ooh! 217 00:07:59,582 --> 00:08:02,318 Is The Arcadian Greek Revival? 218 00:08:02,319 --> 00:08:04,420 No. 219 00:08:04,421 --> 00:08:06,890 What's The Arcadian? 220 00:08:06,891 --> 00:08:09,159 Oh, it's just this beautiful, old building 221 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,428 that Professor Mosby wants to tear down. 222 00:08:11,429 --> 00:08:12,563 BETTY: What?! No, 223 00:08:12,564 --> 00:08:14,531 Professor Mosby loves old buildings. 224 00:08:14,532 --> 00:08:16,467 He wouldn't do that. Right, Ted? 225 00:08:18,303 --> 00:08:20,604 Getting back to Greek Revival... 226 00:08:21,672 --> 00:08:22,938 I lost them. 227 00:08:22,939 --> 00:08:24,707 Look, you're new at teaching. 228 00:08:24,708 --> 00:08:25,908 In my kindergarten class, 229 00:08:25,909 --> 00:08:28,577 I have had plenty of troublesome students. 230 00:08:28,578 --> 00:08:30,912 Like Johnny Marley... 231 00:08:30,913 --> 00:08:33,280 (boy shouting playfully) 232 00:08:34,349 --> 00:08:35,783 Johnny? 233 00:08:36,518 --> 00:08:38,019 Johnny! 234 00:08:38,020 --> 00:08:42,223 He and that little stuffed horsey raised all kinds of hell. 235 00:08:42,224 --> 00:08:45,593 But I have a simple method for shutting down troublemakers. 236 00:08:45,594 --> 00:08:48,763 You know that '98 Taurus that's always parked outside? 237 00:08:48,764 --> 00:08:50,898 The one with the really annoying alarm? 238 00:08:50,899 --> 00:09:00,307 (both mimicking long, complex car alarm blaring) 239 00:09:00,308 --> 00:09:02,343 We're familiar with it. 240 00:09:02,344 --> 00:09:05,312 Well, when a kid like Johnny acts up in my class... 241 00:09:05,313 --> 00:09:06,847 (kids laughing and shouting playfully) 242 00:09:06,848 --> 00:09:15,856 (mimicking long, complex car alarm blaring) 243 00:09:17,025 --> 00:09:19,159 Shuts them right up. TED: Lily, 244 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,495 my students are adults, and I treat them that way. 245 00:09:21,496 --> 00:09:24,197 I'll just give them more candy and make them a mix CD. 246 00:09:24,198 --> 00:09:25,766 Problem solved. 247 00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:27,768 Oh, baby, what's wrong? 248 00:09:28,637 --> 00:09:31,339 Something bad happened. 249 00:09:31,340 --> 00:09:34,242 (knocking) Randy, hey, have you seen the... 250 00:09:34,243 --> 00:09:35,643 Before you get to that, 251 00:09:35,644 --> 00:09:37,912 regarding the earlier project I was working on... 252 00:09:37,913 --> 00:09:39,347 Voilà! 253 00:09:39,348 --> 00:09:40,782 That's the Hermanson contract? 254 00:09:40,783 --> 00:09:42,350 The Hermanson contract? 255 00:09:42,351 --> 00:09:44,986 Oh, man, this is the Filbert contract. 256 00:09:44,987 --> 00:09:47,389 Damn it! No... 257 00:09:47,390 --> 00:09:49,691 Anyway, what's your thing? 258 00:09:49,692 --> 00:09:51,426 I need the Filbert contract! 259 00:09:51,427 --> 00:09:53,595 No!! 260 00:09:55,364 --> 00:09:57,833 Well, I'll do what I can. 261 00:09:57,834 --> 00:10:02,138 But in my experience, twice shredded is fairly permanent. 262 00:10:02,139 --> 00:10:05,576 Sorry, Randy, but... 263 00:10:05,577 --> 00:10:07,644 this just isn't working out. 264 00:10:07,645 --> 00:10:10,581 Marshall popped his cherry! (popping) Oh! 265 00:10:10,582 --> 00:10:13,751 Come on, Marshall, you have to admit, the guy was a disaster. 266 00:10:13,752 --> 00:10:16,154 I mean, it reflected badly on the company. 267 00:10:16,155 --> 00:10:18,523 He was an embarrassment. 268 00:10:18,524 --> 00:10:19,891 A huge embarrassment. 269 00:10:19,892 --> 00:10:22,394 (pounds table) You slept with Randy! 270 00:10:22,395 --> 00:10:23,562 What?! 271 00:10:23,563 --> 00:10:26,431 Why, it's elementary, my dear Scherbatson. 272 00:10:26,432 --> 00:10:29,134 LILY: Your co-host is getting super-popular 273 00:10:29,135 --> 00:10:31,003 because of her stupid commercial, 274 00:10:31,004 --> 00:10:32,471 "Boats! Boats! Boats!" 275 00:10:32,472 --> 00:10:35,374 So, when you arrived at the GNB party after we left, 276 00:10:35,375 --> 00:10:38,510 you were feeling vulnerable and drunk. 277 00:10:38,511 --> 00:10:42,414 Then, from across the not-so-crowded conference room, 278 00:10:42,415 --> 00:10:44,450 your eyes met. 279 00:10:48,888 --> 00:10:50,689 And as we all remember... 280 00:10:50,690 --> 00:10:52,057 Randy has a unique condition. 281 00:10:52,058 --> 00:10:55,428 Yeah, your nose is bleeding like a faucet. 282 00:10:55,429 --> 00:10:58,131 Oh, God, this happens every time I get an erection. 283 00:10:58,132 --> 00:10:59,465 I am so sorry. 284 00:11:02,436 --> 00:11:03,770 That's... 285 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,308 ...exactly what happened. 286 00:11:07,309 --> 00:11:08,309 BARNEY: See, Marshall, 287 00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:10,577 if getting fired is an execution, 288 00:11:10,578 --> 00:11:12,947 at least the guy had a last meal. 289 00:11:12,948 --> 00:11:14,115 I promise you, 290 00:11:14,116 --> 00:11:15,950 tomorrow you'll feel a lot better. 291 00:11:17,486 --> 00:11:19,720 Randy, hey, what's going on? 292 00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:22,188 I just wanted to say no hard feelings. 293 00:11:22,189 --> 00:11:24,224 (sighs) Thank you. 294 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,192 So where you headed now? 295 00:11:29,029 --> 00:11:30,796 Downtown. 296 00:11:33,967 --> 00:11:35,501 No!! 297 00:11:35,502 --> 00:11:36,569 (gasps) 298 00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,404 It's okay, baby. 299 00:11:38,405 --> 00:11:39,840 It wasn't okay. 300 00:11:39,841 --> 00:11:41,141 So the next morning... 301 00:11:41,142 --> 00:11:43,577 Arthur, I'm here because I made a mistake. 302 00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:45,012 I fired Randy yesterday. 303 00:11:45,013 --> 00:11:46,080 That was a mistake. 304 00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,749 You should have fired him a year ago. 305 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:50,686 No, sir, that is what's wrong with this company. 306 00:11:50,687 --> 00:11:52,788 How can we say "GNB Cares," 307 00:11:52,789 --> 00:11:55,424 and then turn around and treat someone like that? 308 00:11:55,425 --> 00:11:57,092 I mean, sure, he made a few mistakes, 309 00:11:57,093 --> 00:11:58,427 but everybody makes mistakes. 310 00:11:58,428 --> 00:12:00,629 Like, like Tugboat here. 311 00:12:00,630 --> 00:12:03,132 Aw. I bet you he's made some mistakes. 312 00:12:03,133 --> 00:12:05,667 And you didn't fire Tugboat, did you? 313 00:12:05,668 --> 00:12:08,103 No, I got him fixed, and he calmed down. 314 00:12:08,104 --> 00:12:10,172 Exactly-- kind of. 315 00:12:10,173 --> 00:12:11,641 Randy doesn't need to be fired. 316 00:12:11,642 --> 00:12:13,242 He needs to be fixed. 317 00:12:13,243 --> 00:12:16,546 Marshall, we do some pretty bad things around here, but I... 318 00:12:16,547 --> 00:12:18,815 No, sir, I'm saying instead of getting rid of someone 319 00:12:18,816 --> 00:12:22,019 when they screw up, we should... we should help them. 320 00:12:22,787 --> 00:12:24,888 We should nurture them. 321 00:12:24,889 --> 00:12:26,357 Oh... 322 00:12:29,161 --> 00:12:31,296 I changed the ice pack on his crotch 323 00:12:31,297 --> 00:12:33,064 every hour for three days. 324 00:12:33,065 --> 00:12:39,303 Wow, Eriksen, if you want to un-fire Randy, I support you, 325 00:12:39,304 --> 00:12:41,604 because to come in here and say what you just said, 326 00:12:41,605 --> 00:12:44,040 well, you've got a couple things that Tugboat doesn't. 327 00:12:45,175 --> 00:12:47,843 (angry shouting) 328 00:12:47,844 --> 00:12:51,447 Guys, Prof Rock is a really good mix, okay? 329 00:12:51,448 --> 00:12:53,749 A piece of New York history is being torn down, 330 00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:57,086 and all you could say was "Boo freakin' hoo"? 331 00:12:57,087 --> 00:12:58,188 Boo... freakin'... 332 00:12:58,189 --> 00:13:00,057 I may have mentioned our conversation 333 00:13:00,058 --> 00:13:01,892 over a session of hacky sack. 334 00:13:01,893 --> 00:13:03,861 The one day I miss the sack circle, 335 00:13:03,862 --> 00:13:05,763 you guys sub her in? 336 00:13:05,764 --> 00:13:06,964 Why'd you miss? 337 00:13:06,965 --> 00:13:09,334 Too busy tearing down the Statue of Liberty? 338 00:13:09,335 --> 00:13:14,440 No. I was returning a hot dog costume that you all enjoyed. 339 00:13:14,441 --> 00:13:15,440 (angry shouting) 340 00:13:15,441 --> 00:13:18,110 They were all turning against me, 341 00:13:18,111 --> 00:13:20,111 so I figured, what the hell. 342 00:13:20,112 --> 00:13:22,280 (shouting continues) 343 00:13:24,950 --> 00:13:34,225 (mimicking long, complex car alarm blaring) 344 00:13:34,226 --> 00:13:35,193 And did it work? 345 00:13:35,194 --> 00:13:36,327 Like gangbusters. 346 00:13:36,328 --> 00:13:37,262 We're buddies again. 347 00:13:37,263 --> 00:13:38,964 After class, we hacked a little sack 348 00:13:38,965 --> 00:13:41,100 to the thumpin' strains of my Prof Rock CD. 349 00:13:41,101 --> 00:13:43,436 And no, none of them had heard the Pixies B-side. 350 00:13:43,437 --> 00:13:45,739 Actually, none of them had heard of the Pixies. 351 00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:47,007 Or a B-side. 352 00:13:47,008 --> 00:13:48,776 Hey, guys. 353 00:13:48,777 --> 00:13:50,344 Uh-oh. I know that smile. 354 00:13:50,345 --> 00:13:52,480 Lily, there's no easy way to say this. 355 00:13:52,481 --> 00:13:53,715 Marshall's dead. 356 00:13:53,716 --> 00:13:55,283 Randy murdered him. 357 00:13:55,284 --> 00:13:58,086 No. I know why Randy is smiling. 358 00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,555 You're smiling because of Robin. 359 00:14:00,556 --> 00:14:03,659 Robin? Like how I think about her when I'm in the shower? 360 00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:05,127 I'm trying to eat here, buddy. 361 00:14:05,128 --> 00:14:08,397 No. Because you slept with her on Halloween. 362 00:14:08,398 --> 00:14:10,298 What? No. 363 00:14:10,299 --> 00:14:13,668 I went home, had a shower an-and went to bed. 364 00:14:13,669 --> 00:14:14,736 You didn't sleep with her? 365 00:14:14,737 --> 00:14:16,271 No. 366 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,472 Even in the shower, 367 00:14:17,473 --> 00:14:19,307 the farthest we ever get is hugging. 368 00:14:19,308 --> 00:14:21,843 So why are you smiling? 369 00:14:21,844 --> 00:14:23,378 I'll tell you why. 370 00:14:23,379 --> 00:14:25,648 This just isn't working out. 371 00:14:25,649 --> 00:14:28,383 RANDY: I'm fired. Great. 372 00:14:28,384 --> 00:14:32,221 This is the candle kiosk at the mall all over again. 373 00:14:32,222 --> 00:14:33,589 Wait a minute. 374 00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:35,658 I can get a severance check. 375 00:14:35,659 --> 00:14:37,561 If I don't shred it, 376 00:14:37,562 --> 00:14:40,631 I can use that money to start my own brewery. 377 00:14:40,632 --> 00:14:43,234 Imagine a beer with my name on it. 378 00:14:43,235 --> 00:14:47,305 Randy Wharmpiss, this is the best day of your life. 379 00:14:48,909 --> 00:14:50,776 Thanks to that severance check, 380 00:14:50,777 --> 00:14:52,945 this time next year, you'll all be enjoying 381 00:14:52,946 --> 00:14:54,647 a frothy mug of Wharmpiss. 382 00:14:54,648 --> 00:14:56,615 MARSHALL: Randy, great news! 383 00:14:56,616 --> 00:14:58,083 You're not fired! 384 00:15:00,554 --> 00:15:05,357 (wailing): No...! 385 00:15:05,358 --> 00:15:08,727 Good morning, everybody... 386 00:15:11,931 --> 00:15:13,566 Where's my class? 387 00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:16,034 (angry shouting) 388 00:15:16,035 --> 00:15:17,436 Hello, Professor. 389 00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:20,573 Ha-boom. 390 00:15:23,588 --> 00:15:25,481 I got you your job back, Randy. 391 00:15:25,581 --> 00:15:27,014 I thought that you'd be happy. 392 00:15:27,015 --> 00:15:28,515 But I don't belong here. 393 00:15:28,516 --> 00:15:31,351 I'm born to be a brewer! A... a hopsmeister! 394 00:15:31,352 --> 00:15:33,453 Well, then quit. No one's stopping you. 395 00:15:33,454 --> 00:15:35,621 I-I can't. I need my severance check. 396 00:15:35,622 --> 00:15:38,024 Well, I'm sorry Randy, but that's called fraud. 397 00:15:38,025 --> 00:15:39,458 It's not fraud. 398 00:15:39,459 --> 00:15:40,826 I'm just asking you to get me 399 00:15:40,827 --> 00:15:42,194 a lot of money to not work here 400 00:15:42,195 --> 00:15:43,595 and not tell anyone about it. 401 00:15:43,596 --> 00:15:46,097 Even if I wanted to fire you, after my talk with Arthur... 402 00:15:46,098 --> 00:15:48,600 Oh, come on, Arthur can't remember that. 403 00:15:48,601 --> 00:15:51,169 Marshall, what a memorable talk we had yesterday. 404 00:15:51,170 --> 00:15:55,607 Randy, on behalf of everyone at GNB, both in and out of prison, 405 00:15:55,608 --> 00:15:57,142 we're sorry. 406 00:15:57,143 --> 00:15:58,610 And I want to assure you 407 00:15:58,611 --> 00:16:00,078 you will never be fired again. 408 00:16:00,079 --> 00:16:02,514 You're going to work here until you die, huh? 409 00:16:02,515 --> 00:16:03,515 Huh? 410 00:16:03,516 --> 00:16:04,916 Green tie? 411 00:16:04,917 --> 00:16:06,218 (clears throat) 412 00:16:06,219 --> 00:16:07,653 Nice choice. 413 00:16:07,654 --> 00:16:09,354 Thanks. It brings out my eyes. 414 00:16:09,355 --> 00:16:11,857 Yeah. I'll bring out your eyes. 415 00:16:13,359 --> 00:16:14,626 Listen, Randy, I'm sorry, 416 00:16:14,627 --> 00:16:16,394 but I broke my own moral code once 417 00:16:16,395 --> 00:16:18,029 and I felt evil. 418 00:16:18,030 --> 00:16:19,797 I will not let GNB change me. 419 00:16:19,798 --> 00:16:23,900 I will never fire anyone again ever. 420 00:16:23,901 --> 00:16:25,736 Oh, we'll see about that. 421 00:16:30,275 --> 00:16:31,241 Anyhoo, while I got you-- 422 00:16:31,242 --> 00:16:32,709 big smile. 423 00:16:32,710 --> 00:16:34,845 "We care about making dreams come true," 424 00:16:34,846 --> 00:16:36,280 in three, two... 425 00:16:36,281 --> 00:16:38,082 No! 426 00:16:38,083 --> 00:16:39,150 What are you doing? 427 00:16:39,151 --> 00:16:41,652 Oh, are you unhappy with my performance? 428 00:16:41,653 --> 00:16:43,954 Well, I guess I'm fired, then. I'd better turn in my I.D. 429 00:16:43,955 --> 00:16:46,957 No, it's actually, um, nice 430 00:16:46,958 --> 00:16:48,760 having some of this clutter off my desk. 431 00:16:48,761 --> 00:16:50,227 So thank you, Randy. 432 00:16:54,767 --> 00:16:56,935 And there's more. 433 00:16:58,205 --> 00:17:00,206 I don't know what I'm going to use this for, 434 00:17:00,207 --> 00:17:01,307 but it's great stuff. 435 00:17:01,308 --> 00:17:02,742 Now am I fired? 436 00:17:04,010 --> 00:17:07,647 I've been meaning to clean out that file cabinet for ages. 437 00:17:07,648 --> 00:17:08,915 I'm not even here. 438 00:17:08,916 --> 00:17:10,484 Randy, the coffee. 439 00:17:11,085 --> 00:17:12,953 Oh! Okay. 440 00:17:12,954 --> 00:17:14,622 Okay. 441 00:17:15,357 --> 00:17:17,057 Thank you, Randy. 442 00:17:17,058 --> 00:17:19,394 I've been meaning to cut back on my caffeine. 443 00:17:19,395 --> 00:17:21,596 Here, try this, but really go for it. 444 00:17:21,597 --> 00:17:23,265 Remember, this guy ruined your life. 445 00:17:29,706 --> 00:17:32,207 That's just the pick-me-up I needed. 446 00:17:33,276 --> 00:17:36,745 Speaking of pickups, can we try the first one again? 447 00:17:36,746 --> 00:17:39,181 (phone ringing) 448 00:17:39,182 --> 00:17:40,181 Hello. 449 00:17:40,182 --> 00:17:41,583 It didn't work. They hate me. 450 00:17:41,584 --> 00:17:43,651 How do I get them to like me again? 451 00:17:43,652 --> 00:17:44,785 You don't. 452 00:17:44,786 --> 00:17:46,320 Ted, you're their teacher. 453 00:17:46,321 --> 00:17:48,389 The only people that like their teachers... 454 00:17:48,390 --> 00:17:49,423 I like my teachers. 455 00:17:49,424 --> 00:17:51,024 ...are dorks. 456 00:17:51,025 --> 00:17:52,626 Except for you, Miles. 457 00:17:55,264 --> 00:17:57,933 Ted, you just have to learn to embrace their hatred. 458 00:17:57,934 --> 00:18:00,603 Because behind that hatred lies fear. 459 00:18:00,604 --> 00:18:01,704 And you can use 460 00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:04,841 use that fear, like I did with Johnny Marley. 461 00:18:04,842 --> 00:18:06,309 Was there more to that story? 462 00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:08,411 A little bit. 463 00:18:20,756 --> 00:18:25,994 (sustained screaming) 464 00:18:25,995 --> 00:18:28,829 Lily, you're a psychopath. 465 00:18:28,830 --> 00:18:30,031 A little bit. 466 00:18:30,032 --> 00:18:32,600 Oh, a panda! 467 00:18:34,870 --> 00:18:36,837 I thought about Lily's advice. 468 00:18:36,838 --> 00:18:40,942 And I figured fear was worth a try. 469 00:18:40,943 --> 00:18:42,877 Well, Professor Mosby, 470 00:18:42,878 --> 00:18:44,479 is there anything you want to say to us? 471 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:48,884 Anyone not in class tomorrow gets an "F." 472 00:18:51,555 --> 00:18:53,355 You said that? 473 00:18:53,356 --> 00:18:55,024 Well, technically, they'd get an incomplete, 474 00:18:55,025 --> 00:18:57,627 but I thought "F" had a nice, scary ring to it. 475 00:18:57,628 --> 00:18:58,695 Right? Yeah. 476 00:18:58,696 --> 00:18:59,896 Hey, guys. Hey. 477 00:18:59,897 --> 00:19:01,097 Robin, who'd you sleep with? 478 00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:02,766 I told you-- Randy. 479 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,568 He was a machine. 480 00:19:04,569 --> 00:19:06,937 Where's the poop, Robin? 481 00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:08,071 (sighs) 482 00:19:08,072 --> 00:19:10,907 Fine. I didn't sleep with anyone. 483 00:19:10,908 --> 00:19:13,242 The thing is, ever since Becky did that commercial, 484 00:19:13,243 --> 00:19:15,077 everyone at work loves her. 485 00:19:15,078 --> 00:19:18,180 So, the day after Halloween, I was in a commercial. 486 00:19:18,181 --> 00:19:20,215 What... Why didn't you tell us? 487 00:19:21,450 --> 00:19:23,818 ANNOUNCER: Bladder trouble-- it's embarrassing, 488 00:19:23,819 --> 00:19:27,021 it's uncomfortable, and it can affect anyone. 489 00:19:27,022 --> 00:19:29,757 I'm going to the bathroom right now. 490 00:19:29,758 --> 00:19:32,026 Neat and discreet adult diapers 491 00:19:32,027 --> 00:19:33,294 for anyone. 492 00:19:33,295 --> 00:19:34,496 Say... 493 00:19:34,497 --> 00:19:37,333 "Ah..." 494 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,505 (laughing) (Ted laughing) 495 00:19:42,506 --> 00:19:45,876 Wow! I can't wait to see it. 496 00:19:45,877 --> 00:19:47,044 Well, hopefully you never will. 497 00:19:47,045 --> 00:19:49,045 They said that they might not even use it. 498 00:19:49,046 --> 00:19:50,513 TED: It ran for seven years. 499 00:19:53,050 --> 00:19:54,584 Okay, you win. 500 00:19:54,585 --> 00:19:57,687 Maybe trashing your office was a mistake. 501 00:19:57,688 --> 00:20:00,824 It's just, uh, as long as I can remember, 502 00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,126 making beer has been my dream. 503 00:20:04,261 --> 00:20:06,162 Wharmpiss? 504 00:20:07,798 --> 00:20:10,066 I know it sounds dumb 505 00:20:10,067 --> 00:20:12,836 to someone who's already achieved his dream-- 506 00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:14,805 big-time lawyer at a huge corporation. 507 00:20:14,806 --> 00:20:17,208 You think working here is my dream? 508 00:20:17,209 --> 00:20:18,409 Of course. 509 00:20:19,244 --> 00:20:21,913 Anyways, I'll clean this stuff up. 510 00:20:21,914 --> 00:20:24,549 Have someone get that dead squirrel out of your desk. 511 00:20:26,886 --> 00:20:28,620 Randy. 512 00:20:29,888 --> 00:20:31,956 This is delicious. 513 00:20:33,225 --> 00:20:35,526 You're fired. 514 00:20:37,228 --> 00:20:38,595 Kids, the next morning-- 515 00:20:38,596 --> 00:20:43,765 my class had the highest attendance it had ever had. 516 00:20:43,766 --> 00:20:45,767 And not long after that, 517 00:20:45,768 --> 00:20:48,337 Randy used his severance money to start a little brewery. 518 00:20:48,338 --> 00:20:52,607 Now you can have a Wharmpiss at every bar in America. 519 00:20:52,608 --> 00:20:53,642 And all because... 520 00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:57,412 I care about making dreams come true. 521 00:20:57,413 --> 00:20:59,581 You got what you need? 522 00:20:59,582 --> 00:21:01,549 BARNEY: Yep. That's a wrap. 523 00:21:01,550 --> 00:21:04,920 -- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for www.addic7ed.com -- access.wgbh.org