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00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:03,300
Kids, in my early
days of being a professor,
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00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:04,800
I had one simple goal:
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00:00:04,900 --> 00:00:06,900
give a lecture that
changes someone's life.
4
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,600
Then one afternoon in 2010,
I achieved that goal.
5
00:00:10,674 --> 00:00:12,258
Unfinished.
6
00:00:12,259 --> 00:00:15,378
Of all the words you could use
to describe La Sagrada Familia...
7
00:00:15,379 --> 00:00:18,314
Brown, pointy, weird...
8
00:00:18,915 --> 00:00:21,316
The one that really seems
to stick is "unfinished."
9
00:00:21,317 --> 00:00:22,402
Why?
10
00:00:22,403 --> 00:00:27,407
Because on June 7, 1926,
the architect Antoni Gaudi...
11
00:00:27,408 --> 00:00:31,527
Whose beard was also brown,
pointy, weird and unfinished...
12
00:00:32,463 --> 00:00:35,131
...was run over by a bus.
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00:00:35,132 --> 00:00:39,802
And so, his greatest masterpiece
would remain forever...
14
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,457
But first,
let's back up a few days.
15
00:00:44,558 --> 00:00:47,443
Ted, look across the bar.
16
00:00:47,444 --> 00:00:49,962
Three chicks:
one hot, one kind of hot
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00:00:49,963 --> 00:00:51,998
and one who I'm assuming
is really funny.
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00:00:51,999 --> 00:00:53,182
We ride!
19
00:00:56,070 --> 00:00:56,903
What's wrong?
20
00:00:56,904 --> 00:00:57,954
I don't know.
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Got a burger coming.
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00:01:00,157 --> 00:01:01,324
Bro, I told you,
23
00:01:01,325 --> 00:01:03,860
if you ever need a wingman,
I'm your guy.
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00:01:03,861 --> 00:01:06,496
Yeah, I'm not going to go
through that again.
25
00:01:06,497 --> 00:01:08,247
Hi.
26
00:01:08,248 --> 00:01:09,832
Barney Stinson.
27
00:01:09,833 --> 00:01:12,418
And I'm Marshall,
Barney's wingman.
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00:01:16,173 --> 00:01:18,091
Thank you for your time.
29
00:01:19,460 --> 00:01:21,894
Fine. I'll have a three-way
with hot and kind of hot
30
00:01:21,895 --> 00:01:23,012
while Giggles works the camera.
31
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I ride!
32
00:01:25,399 --> 00:01:26,849
So, get this:
33
00:01:26,850 --> 00:01:28,935
Last night, I was watching TV,
and it turns out,
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00:01:28,936 --> 00:01:30,436
some random satellite channel
35
00:01:30,437 --> 00:01:33,122
picks up a certain
local Chicago newscast.
36
00:01:33,123 --> 00:01:36,659
And now, the 11:00
News with Don Frank.
37
00:01:37,611 --> 00:01:39,245
Oh, man, it's
bad enough
38
00:01:39,246 --> 00:01:40,913
to have to go through
a horrible breakup,
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00:01:40,914 --> 00:01:43,082
but then have that
person pop up on your TV?
40
00:01:43,083 --> 00:01:44,333
Are you okay?
41
00:01:44,334 --> 00:01:46,536
Well, I'll admit, at first,
I felt a little weird.
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00:01:46,537 --> 00:01:49,422
But after the initial shock,
I realized something:
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00:01:49,423 --> 00:01:51,290
I've moved on.
44
00:01:53,127 --> 00:01:56,462
Finished with that.
45
00:01:57,631 --> 00:02:00,249
It was a peaceful
moment of closure.
46
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:01,217
That's great.
47
00:02:01,218 --> 00:02:03,469
- Good on you.
- Yeah, thank you.
48
00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:04,587
Where's the
poop, Robin?
49
00:02:04,588 --> 00:02:05,822
Excuse me?
50
00:02:05,823 --> 00:02:08,474
When I was a kid, I
had a dog named Bean.
51
00:02:08,475 --> 00:02:11,360
Whenever he made the face
that you're making right now,
52
00:02:11,361 --> 00:02:14,831
you just knew he pooped
somewhere in the house.
53
00:02:15,783 --> 00:02:17,433
Where's the poop, Robin?
54
00:02:17,434 --> 00:02:19,535
I don't know what you're talking
about. Where's the poop, Robin?
55
00:02:19,536 --> 00:02:21,154
There's no poop.
Where's the poop?
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00:02:21,155 --> 00:02:22,438
Okay.
57
00:02:22,439 --> 00:02:24,957
So it wasn't entirely
a peaceful moment of closure.
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00:02:24,958 --> 00:02:27,627
Hey, Don, here's
some breaking news:
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00:02:27,628 --> 00:02:31,280
there's a zit breaking out
on your forehead.
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00:02:34,117 --> 00:02:35,635
Finished with that.
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00:02:39,006 --> 00:02:42,091
Look, I'm not proud,
but Don left so quickly
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00:02:42,092 --> 00:02:44,510
that I never got the chance
to have that final showdown.
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00:02:44,511 --> 00:02:48,964
So yelling at him, even on TV,
felt kind of good.
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00:02:48,965 --> 00:02:50,266
And you know what?
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00:02:50,267 --> 00:02:53,186
Now I truly am over him.
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00:02:53,187 --> 00:02:54,821
That's great.
Thank you.
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00:02:54,822 --> 00:02:55,855
Good on you.
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00:02:55,856 --> 00:02:57,156
Where's the
poop, Robin?
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00:02:57,157 --> 00:02:58,524
Damn it!
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00:02:58,525 --> 00:03:01,744
Okay, in the process
of truly getting over him,
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00:03:01,745 --> 00:03:04,030
I may have called him
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00:03:04,031 --> 00:03:07,633
and left an...
indelicate voice mail.
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00:03:07,634 --> 00:03:09,886
I am gonna kill you.
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00:03:09,887 --> 00:03:13,289
I'm gonna fly to Chicago,
kill you,
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00:03:13,290 --> 00:03:18,060
put your stupid face
on a deep dish pizza and eat it.
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00:03:18,061 --> 00:03:20,213
And then maybe
catch a Bears game.
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00:03:20,214 --> 00:03:24,600
But mostly the killing
and eating your face thing.
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00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:25,834
Give me your phone.
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00:03:25,835 --> 00:03:27,470
We're deleting
Don's number.
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00:03:27,471 --> 00:03:28,771
Don't worry.
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00:03:28,772 --> 00:03:30,339
I am never doing that again.
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00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:31,574
It was a one-time thing.
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00:03:31,575 --> 00:03:32,558
Prove it.
84
00:03:32,559 --> 00:03:33,559
Delete contact.
85
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,147
There. Deleted.
86
00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:41,984
Back already.
87
00:03:41,985 --> 00:03:44,070
How was flying solo?
88
00:03:44,071 --> 00:03:48,958
And by "solo," I mean
so low that you got shot down.
89
00:03:49,693 --> 00:03:51,327
Look, I didn't get shot down.
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00:03:51,328 --> 00:03:53,596
Trust me, I'll get the yes.
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00:03:53,597 --> 00:03:57,917
Barney Stinson
always gets the yes.
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00:03:57,918 --> 00:03:59,252
This is all
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00:03:59,253 --> 00:04:00,253
part of the plan.
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00:04:00,254 --> 00:04:01,504
After initial contact,
95
00:04:01,505 --> 00:04:03,472
I'm now in the ignoring phase.
96
00:04:03,473 --> 00:04:05,992
Barney, why can't you just
take a girl out to dinner
97
00:04:05,993 --> 00:04:07,193
like a normal person?
98
00:04:07,194 --> 00:04:11,847
Golden rule: I do not
buy dinner to get the yes.
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00:04:11,848 --> 00:04:14,617
Dinner's a very
intimate activity.
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00:04:14,618 --> 00:04:15,735
It requires
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00:04:15,736 --> 00:04:18,571
a level of connection
and eye contact
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00:04:18,572 --> 00:04:19,789
that sex just doesn't.
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00:04:20,524 --> 00:04:21,774
Call me old-fashioned,
104
00:04:21,775 --> 00:04:24,660
but I need to have sex
with a girl at least three times
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00:04:24,661 --> 00:04:27,029
before I'll even consider
having dinner with her.
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00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:29,115
The next day,
at the university,
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00:04:29,116 --> 00:04:30,082
I had a surprise visitor.
108
00:04:30,083 --> 00:04:31,900
What are you
doing here?
109
00:04:31,901 --> 00:04:33,336
Oh, God!
110
00:04:33,337 --> 00:04:34,787
You're dating
one of my students.
111
00:04:34,788 --> 00:04:36,422
It's Rachel, isn't it?
112
00:04:36,423 --> 00:04:38,341
Barney, I know
she wears provocative sweaters,
113
00:04:38,342 --> 00:04:39,375
but she's 19!
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00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:41,510
Now I'm gonna have to hear
115
00:04:41,511 --> 00:04:42,795
all about it, right?
116
00:04:42,796 --> 00:04:44,714
Go on, tell me every detail.
117
00:04:44,715 --> 00:04:46,632
No, you pent-up old perv.
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00:04:46,633 --> 00:04:48,250
I brought you
a present.
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00:04:50,103 --> 00:04:52,355
Recognize this?
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00:04:52,356 --> 00:04:53,889
It's my building.
121
00:04:53,890 --> 00:04:56,759
Kids, you may remember that,
a few years earlier,
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00:04:56,760 --> 00:05:00,112
I was chosen to design
the new Manhattan headquarters
123
00:05:00,113 --> 00:05:01,447
for Goliath National Bank.
124
00:05:01,448 --> 00:05:04,200
It was the opportunity
every architect dreams about.
125
00:05:04,201 --> 00:05:07,286
And when the project
was ultimately scrapped...
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00:05:07,287 --> 00:05:08,955
it broke my heart.
127
00:05:08,956 --> 00:05:12,708
Do you remember how awesome
it was to be co-workers...
128
00:05:12,709 --> 00:05:15,494
Nay, bro-workers?
129
00:05:15,495 --> 00:05:17,446
Wait a minute.
Y-You don't mean...
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00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:20,416
Ted Mosby, it's back on.
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00:05:20,417 --> 00:05:23,302
We're gonna build
your building.
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00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:40,199
This is awesome... You're
designing our new headquarters.
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00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:42,484
Now, there will be
voices that tell you
134
00:05:42,485 --> 00:05:44,636
a hockey rink on
the roof is unfeasible.
135
00:05:44,637 --> 00:05:47,100
You've got to shut
those voices out.
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00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,900
Actually, I think
I'm gonna say no.
137
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,493
No? Are you kidding me?
138
00:05:51,494 --> 00:05:53,495
But designing a building
in New York City
139
00:05:53,496 --> 00:05:54,946
is your lifelong dream.
140
00:05:54,947 --> 00:05:57,599
I do not want
to work for GNB again.
141
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:58,833
Those guys are evil.
142
00:05:58,834 --> 00:05:59,901
No offense, Marshall.
143
00:05:59,902 --> 00:06:01,870
Dude, none taken.
144
00:06:01,871 --> 00:06:06,257
Yes, GNB is,
the Empire from Star Wars.
145
00:06:06,258 --> 00:06:09,127
But the Death Star's gonna
get built either way.
146
00:06:09,128 --> 00:06:11,429
And don't you think
the architect of the Death Star
147
00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:14,082
is pretty psyched to have that
thing on his space resume?
148
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,249
I mean, yes,
149
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,918
his design was flawed
in the sense
150
00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:19,020
that a single bullet
fired into a particular vent
151
00:06:19,021 --> 00:06:20,638
would explode the whole thing.
152
00:06:20,639 --> 00:06:22,474
For all we know,
that was the contractor's fault.
153
00:06:22,475 --> 00:06:24,726
But that won't happen on
your watch... you know why?
154
00:06:24,727 --> 00:06:25,810
Because you're Ted Mosby!
155
00:06:25,811 --> 00:06:28,146
And you are gonna design
the most beautiful,
156
00:06:28,147 --> 00:06:30,698
ventless, Rebel-proof building
in Manhattan,
157
00:06:30,699 --> 00:06:33,318
with clearly marked
emergency stops
158
00:06:33,319 --> 00:06:35,436
for every trash compactor
on the detention level.
159
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,906
Look, I know this is
hard to understand,
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00:06:37,907 --> 00:06:41,843
but right now, I have a quiet,
simple, happy little life.
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00:06:41,844 --> 00:06:43,495
And I like it that way.
162
00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:46,114
I know what my answer has to be.
163
00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:47,549
I can't take
the job, Barney.
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00:06:47,550 --> 00:06:49,217
I'm done with that life.
165
00:06:49,218 --> 00:06:50,284
No hard feelings?
166
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:52,170
Of course not.
167
00:06:52,171 --> 00:06:54,288
All right.
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00:06:56,008 --> 00:06:58,059
Hey, Professor Mosby.
Hey, Rachel.
169
00:07:00,312 --> 00:07:02,480
And I thought that was
the end of the story.
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00:07:02,481 --> 00:07:03,565
But then that night...
171
00:07:03,566 --> 00:07:04,516
I'm telling you,
172
00:07:04,517 --> 00:07:06,401
no architect would ever design
173
00:07:06,402 --> 00:07:09,104
a giant exposed vent right over
a Death Star's core reactor.
174
00:07:09,105 --> 00:07:10,304
That's Space
Architecture 101.
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00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,323
It had to be the contractor.
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00:07:12,324 --> 00:07:13,575
Barney, back me up.
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00:07:14,827 --> 00:07:16,027
Barney.
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00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:18,913
Dude, this is important.
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00:07:18,914 --> 00:07:20,098
I need another drink.
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00:07:20,099 --> 00:07:21,533
Marshall, you want anything?
181
00:07:22,084 --> 00:07:23,985
No, I'm fine.
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00:07:25,838 --> 00:07:28,273
Okay, I get that he's mad at me
for turning down the job,
183
00:07:28,274 --> 00:07:29,557
but acting like
I'm not even here?
184
00:07:29,558 --> 00:07:31,826
Wait, you turned down the job?
When?
185
00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:32,660
This morning.
186
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:35,096
That's so weird.
187
00:07:35,097 --> 00:07:37,682
Just, like, an hour ago,
when we were leaving work...
188
00:07:37,683 --> 00:07:39,834
So, you still think
Ted's gonna take the job?
189
00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:41,436
Please.
190
00:07:41,437 --> 00:07:42,654
I'll get the yes.
191
00:07:42,655 --> 00:07:46,891
Barney Stinson
always gets the yes.
192
00:07:49,728 --> 00:07:51,946
Am I wrong or is that
exactly what Barney says
193
00:07:51,947 --> 00:07:53,765
when he's putting the moves
on a girl?
194
00:07:53,766 --> 00:07:55,016
Exactly. I mean,
it's almost like
195
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:56,234
he's putting the moves on you.
196
00:07:56,235 --> 00:07:57,535
Yeah, more like the opposite.
197
00:07:57,536 --> 00:08:00,355
He's been ignoring me all night.
198
00:08:03,375 --> 00:08:05,176
Barney wants me
to take the job so bad
199
00:08:05,177 --> 00:08:06,361
he's putting the moves on me?
200
00:08:06,362 --> 00:08:08,863
I hope that's his end game.
201
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:09,881
Actually, I don't.
202
00:08:09,882 --> 00:08:11,633
I like you two together.
203
00:08:11,634 --> 00:08:12,667
I don't buy it.
204
00:08:12,668 --> 00:08:14,252
That's crazy, even for Barney.
205
00:08:14,253 --> 00:08:15,336
Okay, well, think about it.
206
00:08:15,337 --> 00:08:16,971
We've seen his moves
countless times.
207
00:08:16,972 --> 00:08:19,641
What does he do after
he's done ignoring a girl?
208
00:08:19,642 --> 00:08:21,643
Chrissy, I love
your glasses.
209
00:08:21,644 --> 00:08:22,677
Really?
210
00:08:22,678 --> 00:08:23,878
They totally
pull focus up
211
00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,947
from that whole chin
situation you got going on.
212
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,099
To Chrissy.
213
00:08:28,701 --> 00:08:30,068
The backhanded compliment
214
00:08:30,069 --> 00:08:32,604
to lower her self-esteem...
a proven winner.
215
00:08:32,605 --> 00:08:33,605
But Barney hasn't done...
216
00:08:33,606 --> 00:08:35,607
Ted, I admire your loyalty.
217
00:08:35,608 --> 00:08:38,359
You've had
that hairstyle forever.
218
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,994
You don't care
that it's out of fashion
219
00:08:39,995 --> 00:08:41,880
or that it's been co-opted
by the lesbian community.
220
00:08:41,881 --> 00:08:43,064
You stick with it.
221
00:08:43,866 --> 00:08:44,832
To Ted.
222
00:08:45,668 --> 00:08:47,568
Hey, Lily!
223
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:51,405
Don't "Hey, Lily" me.
224
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:54,325
I smelled poop all the way
from the hallway.
225
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:55,927
Oh, no, not this again.
226
00:08:55,928 --> 00:08:57,295
Where's the poop, Robin?
227
00:08:57,296 --> 00:09:00,048
Okay, I left Don
another message.
228
00:09:00,933 --> 00:09:02,250
"This just in"
229
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:03,685
is what I'm gonna say
230
00:09:03,686 --> 00:09:05,920
when I'm stabbing you.
231
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,355
But that's impossible.
232
00:09:07,356 --> 00:09:08,589
You deleted
his number.
233
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:09,557
I tried to.
234
00:09:09,558 --> 00:09:10,692
But then this thing popped up
235
00:09:10,693 --> 00:09:12,426
on my phone that said,
"Are you sure?"
236
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:13,611
And I wasn't sure.
237
00:09:13,612 --> 00:09:15,113
I can't lie to my phone.
238
00:09:15,114 --> 00:09:18,399
Oh, sweetie,
I totally understand.
239
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:19,484
Delete it!
240
00:09:19,485 --> 00:09:20,985
It's not that easy, okay?
241
00:09:20,986 --> 00:09:22,436
You're not just
deleting a number,
242
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,572
you're deleting
a part of your life.
243
00:09:24,573 --> 00:09:25,606
You know, all those
244
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:27,125
memories, all those experiences.
245
00:09:27,126 --> 00:09:30,044
It's like you're admitting
they're gone forever.
246
00:09:30,045 --> 00:09:31,963
I know, sweetie.
247
00:09:31,964 --> 00:09:33,131
I know.
248
00:09:33,132 --> 00:09:34,382
Delete it!
249
00:09:34,383 --> 00:09:36,000
Okay, if it's that easy,
250
00:09:36,001 --> 00:09:37,952
I'm gonna delete one of
your numbers from your phone,
251
00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:38,836
see how you like it.
252
00:09:38,837 --> 00:09:39,887
My "plezh."
253
00:09:39,888 --> 00:09:41,806
If you can find
a number in there
254
00:09:41,807 --> 00:09:44,125
that I don't call regularly,
I'll gladly delete it.
255
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,727
Super Kicks Karate.
256
00:09:45,728 --> 00:09:46,761
No, not that one.
257
00:09:46,762 --> 00:09:48,396
That's my dojo.
258
00:09:48,397 --> 00:09:49,897
You have a dojo?
259
00:09:49,898 --> 00:09:52,934
I took an introductory
karate class.
260
00:09:54,570 --> 00:09:56,070
Ops, wrong room.
261
00:09:56,071 --> 00:09:59,157
Where do the grown-ups go
for the real karate class?
262
00:09:59,158 --> 00:10:00,942
What's the matter, lady?
263
00:10:00,943 --> 00:10:02,143
You scared?
264
00:10:03,162 --> 00:10:04,195
Of you? Please.
265
00:10:04,196 --> 00:10:05,913
I'm a kindergarten teacher.
266
00:10:05,914 --> 00:10:07,966
I hated kindergarten.
267
00:10:07,967 --> 00:10:09,701
All three times.
268
00:10:12,004 --> 00:10:14,872
But I'm totally gonna
sign up for more lessons.
269
00:10:14,873 --> 00:10:17,425
How long ago
did you take that class?
270
00:10:17,426 --> 00:10:18,492
I don't know.
271
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:19,927
It was around the time
272
00:10:19,928 --> 00:10:23,431
when everyone was going,
"Wassuuuuuuup!"
273
00:10:24,383 --> 00:10:26,167
How do you even remember that?
274
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:28,770
Wassuuuuuup...!
275
00:10:28,771 --> 00:10:31,889
Lily, this is a number
that you will never dial again.
276
00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:32,724
I might.
No, no.
277
00:10:32,725 --> 00:10:34,058
But you keep it in your phone
278
00:10:34,059 --> 00:10:35,810
because it reminds you
of a version of yourself
279
00:10:35,811 --> 00:10:38,396
that you could be, even if
it's a version of yourself
280
00:10:38,397 --> 00:10:39,614
that you'll never become.
281
00:10:39,615 --> 00:10:40,848
And that's okay.
282
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,200
No, it's not.
283
00:10:42,201 --> 00:10:43,318
Okay, you know what?
284
00:10:43,319 --> 00:10:45,320
There, gone.
285
00:10:45,321 --> 00:10:46,537
Your move,
Scherbatsky.
286
00:10:47,790 --> 00:10:49,874
I finally know
what your kind goes through.
287
00:10:49,875 --> 00:10:51,409
I get it now.
288
00:10:51,410 --> 00:10:53,694
For the last time,
I don't care how big it was,
289
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:55,529
it is not the same
as giving birth.
290
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:57,498
No!
291
00:10:57,499 --> 00:10:59,467
Barney's been
"putting the moves" on Ted.
292
00:10:59,468 --> 00:11:02,136
Oh, that sucks.
293
00:11:02,137 --> 00:11:04,422
Although I like
you two together.
294
00:11:04,423 --> 00:11:07,141
No, he's been doing it to try
to get Ted to design
295
00:11:07,142 --> 00:11:09,260
the new GNB Tower.
296
00:11:09,261 --> 00:11:10,544
Which moves
are we talking about?
297
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,613
Did he do the thing where
he brags on himself
298
00:11:12,614 --> 00:11:13,731
in the form of a complaint?
299
00:11:13,732 --> 00:11:15,099
Man, every time
300
00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:17,151
I take out my business card
301
00:11:17,152 --> 00:11:20,388
and women see the GNB logo,
they throw themselves at me.
302
00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:21,606
I miss the chase.
303
00:11:21,607 --> 00:11:23,241
It sucks!
304
00:11:23,242 --> 00:11:24,542
Man, the courtside
Knicks seats
305
00:11:24,543 --> 00:11:28,529
that are available to all
upper level GNB employees
306
00:11:28,530 --> 00:11:30,081
are too close to the action.
307
00:11:30,082 --> 00:11:31,749
I keep getting sweat on my suit.
308
00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:33,034
It sucks!
309
00:11:33,035 --> 00:11:34,168
Man,
310
00:11:34,169 --> 00:11:36,904
GNB's benefits package
is so comprehensive
311
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,474
it gives me the freedom to see
any doctor I want.
312
00:11:39,475 --> 00:11:41,259
It sucks!
313
00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:42,410
He did.
314
00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:44,095
And the intense eye contact
thing?
315
00:11:44,096 --> 00:11:45,630
So, Ted,
316
00:11:45,631 --> 00:11:49,133
would you like to split
some jalapeno poppers?
317
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:55,440
Okay.
318
00:11:55,441 --> 00:11:56,590
Yep.
319
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,643
And the thing where he
establishs intimacy
320
00:11:58,644 --> 00:12:00,311
through physical contact?
321
00:12:00,312 --> 00:12:02,480
You know why jalapeño poppers
are so good?
322
00:12:02,481 --> 00:12:04,031
It's the cream cheese.
323
00:12:04,032 --> 00:12:06,951
That is so true.
324
00:12:06,952 --> 00:12:08,202
Yeah...
325
00:12:08,203 --> 00:12:10,905
Cream cheese has
a mild flav-flavor
326
00:12:10,906 --> 00:12:15,042
so it... it balances out
the spiciness of the jal...
327
00:12:15,043 --> 00:12:17,278
the spiciness of the...
328
00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:19,547
Dude!
329
00:12:20,416 --> 00:12:21,799
So at any point in this
330
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,784
did you say, "Barney,
I know what you're doing,
331
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,186
"and it's not going to work.
332
00:12:25,187 --> 00:12:26,671
I am not taking that job"?
333
00:12:26,672 --> 00:12:29,690
Well, I mean, not
exactly in those...
334
00:12:29,691 --> 00:12:31,092
You're loving this.
335
00:12:31,093 --> 00:12:32,126
No.
336
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,361
You are.
337
00:12:33,362 --> 00:12:35,629
You're loving the attention.
338
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:38,483
It's nice to be wanted, okay?
339
00:12:38,484 --> 00:12:41,686
And, yes, this is a new vest.
Thank you all for noticing.
340
00:12:41,687 --> 00:12:43,037
Oh, that's right, you didn't.
341
00:12:43,038 --> 00:12:44,238
Barney did!
342
00:12:44,239 --> 00:12:45,640
Oh, Teddy,
343
00:12:45,641 --> 00:12:47,641
you are so going
to spread your legs
344
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:49,477
and design that building.
345
00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:51,696
I am not that kind
of architect.
346
00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:57,651
So get this... Robin never
deleted Don's number.
347
00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:58,703
Wait...
348
00:12:59,838 --> 00:13:01,255
Oh, everyone thinks
it's so easy.
349
00:13:01,256 --> 00:13:02,373
Give me your phone.
350
00:13:02,374 --> 00:13:03,541
Let's delete
one of yours.
351
00:13:03,542 --> 00:13:04,792
Okay.
352
00:13:04,793 --> 00:13:06,160
No problem.
353
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:08,212
If you can find a number
that I don't need
354
00:13:08,213 --> 00:13:09,931
or shouldn't have in here,
be my guest,
355
00:13:09,932 --> 00:13:11,516
but good luck.
356
00:13:11,517 --> 00:13:13,384
I keep my phone tight.
357
00:13:13,385 --> 00:13:15,386
Edwin.
Oh, no, not that one.
358
00:13:15,387 --> 00:13:18,222
That's the booker for the club
that my band plays at.
359
00:13:18,223 --> 00:13:20,258
You know, my all-lawyer
funk band... you remember...
360
00:13:20,259 --> 00:13:23,060
The Funk, the Whole Funk
and Nothing but the Funk.
361
00:13:23,061 --> 00:13:27,815
* Your witness lied
so your case is sunk, hah! *
362
00:13:27,816 --> 00:13:31,702
* I sentence you
to a life of funk *
363
00:13:31,703 --> 00:13:33,621
* Counselors,
how do you plead? *
364
00:13:33,622 --> 00:13:35,490
* Funky. *
365
00:13:35,491 --> 00:13:38,025
Kick it.
366
00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:43,965
You guys played one gig
four years ago.
367
00:13:43,966 --> 00:13:45,416
I'm deleting it.
368
00:13:45,417 --> 00:13:47,752
No, no, we're gonna... we're
gonna play another gig again.
369
00:13:47,753 --> 00:13:48,970
Probably really soon.
370
00:13:48,971 --> 00:13:51,205
It's just we all got
super busy, and...
371
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:55,309
We're not going to play
another gig again, are we?
372
00:13:55,310 --> 00:13:57,061
Probably not, baby.
373
00:13:57,062 --> 00:13:59,347
See, it's hard to hit
that delete button, isn't it?
374
00:13:59,348 --> 00:14:01,983
Well, it's just that without
that number in my phone,
375
00:14:01,984 --> 00:14:03,384
I'm just a corporate lawyer
376
00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:06,404
working 60 very un-funky hours
a week.
377
00:14:06,405 --> 00:14:08,022
Sorry, Marshall.
378
00:14:08,023 --> 00:14:10,658
But if I have to, you have to.
379
00:14:16,832 --> 00:14:18,966
Okay. Your turn.
380
00:14:31,930 --> 00:14:33,381
Barney, I gotta
tell you something.
381
00:14:33,382 --> 00:14:35,216
Oh, that reminds me.
382
00:14:35,217 --> 00:14:37,935
I got you a little airplane.
383
00:14:37,936 --> 00:14:40,805
It represents the spirit
of adventure.
384
00:14:40,806 --> 00:14:42,640
Do you like it, Ted?
385
00:14:43,442 --> 00:14:45,343
Do you?
386
00:14:45,344 --> 00:14:46,394
Stop it.
387
00:14:46,395 --> 00:14:47,695
Stop looking at me
388
00:14:47,696 --> 00:14:50,398
like I'm the only person
in the world who matters.
389
00:14:50,399 --> 00:14:52,650
I'm not designing the GNB Tower.
390
00:14:52,651 --> 00:14:53,868
Yeah, I know.
391
00:14:53,869 --> 00:14:54,969
You turned it down.
392
00:14:54,970 --> 00:14:56,103
We hired someone else.
393
00:14:59,825 --> 00:15:01,075
Can you believe it?
394
00:15:01,076 --> 00:15:02,943
He's resorting
to the oldest move in the book.
395
00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:05,129
The classic, "pretend to take
the offer off the table
396
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:06,380
so I'll want it more."
397
00:15:06,381 --> 00:15:07,548
It's so obvious, right?
398
00:15:07,549 --> 00:15:09,450
As if that's going to make me
be like,
399
00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:11,836
"Oh, God, I never
should have said no."
400
00:15:11,837 --> 00:15:13,354
It's not a move, dude.
401
00:15:13,355 --> 00:15:16,691
I executed the paperwork for
the new architect this morning.
402
00:15:16,692 --> 00:15:18,976
Barney wasn't lying.
403
00:15:19,811 --> 00:15:22,415
Oh, God, I never should
have said no!
404
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:28,500
Come on, GNB didn't really
hire a new architect.
405
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:29,993
This is just one
of Barney's moves.
406
00:15:29,994 --> 00:15:31,227
It's not a move, dude.
407
00:15:31,228 --> 00:15:32,812
The senior partners
were getting impatient.
408
00:15:32,813 --> 00:15:35,465
I thought you didn't
even want the job.
409
00:15:35,466 --> 00:15:36,348
I didn't!
410
00:15:36,768 --> 00:15:40,886
I don't!
I don't. I don't!
411
00:15:40,887 --> 00:15:43,138
- Okay, I'll do it!
- What?
412
00:15:43,139 --> 00:15:45,024
Ted, it's too late.
413
00:15:45,025 --> 00:15:46,141
I'll design it for half
414
00:15:46,142 --> 00:15:47,776
of what you're paying
the other architect.
415
00:15:47,777 --> 00:15:50,646
And you know I will do stuff
they would never do.
416
00:15:50,647 --> 00:15:52,865
Lobby stuff.
417
00:15:52,866 --> 00:15:54,116
Wow, half?
418
00:15:54,117 --> 00:15:55,985
Ted,
419
00:15:55,986 --> 00:15:57,769
of behalf of Goliath
National Bank...
420
00:15:57,770 --> 00:15:58,954
Okay, it's a move.
421
00:15:58,955 --> 00:16:00,572
- What?
- Dude!
422
00:16:00,573 --> 00:16:01,991
There is no other architect.
423
00:16:01,992 --> 00:16:03,459
I'm sorry, I'm sorry I lied.
424
00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:04,776
I was being Barney's wingman,
425
00:16:04,777 --> 00:16:06,578
and I never get to be
the wingman.
426
00:16:06,579 --> 00:16:08,113
You guys lied to me?
427
00:16:08,114 --> 00:16:09,498
You're the world's
worst wingman.
428
00:16:09,499 --> 00:16:12,217
You know what? I'm out of here.
429
00:16:12,218 --> 00:16:14,119
I can do better.
Take me back.
430
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,671
You son of a bitch!
431
00:16:15,672 --> 00:16:18,173
Look, I can't do business
with people who lie to me.
432
00:16:18,174 --> 00:16:21,176
We only lied to you to make you
realize that you want this job.
433
00:16:21,177 --> 00:16:22,344
No, I don't.
434
00:16:22,345 --> 00:16:24,096
I mean, I know I said I did,
435
00:16:24,097 --> 00:16:26,231
but that's only
because I fell for the same
436
00:16:26,232 --> 00:16:28,100
creepy, pickup artist voodoo
of yours
437
00:16:28,101 --> 00:16:29,184
that countless women...
438
00:16:29,185 --> 00:16:30,302
236.
439
00:16:30,303 --> 00:16:31,520
...before me fell for.
440
00:16:31,521 --> 00:16:32,738
Wow, respect.
441
00:16:32,739 --> 00:16:37,693
No... Ted...
you want to do this, okay?
442
00:16:37,694 --> 00:16:39,528
You're just scared
of getting hurt again.
443
00:16:39,529 --> 00:16:41,497
But you can't let fear
steal your funk.
444
00:16:41,498 --> 00:16:43,749
That is good.
There is a song in there.
445
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:45,067
Excuse me.
446
00:16:46,786 --> 00:16:48,537
Come on, Ted!
447
00:16:48,538 --> 00:16:49,788
This is your dream.
448
00:16:49,789 --> 00:16:52,824
No, it's not. Not anymore.
And you know what?
449
00:16:52,825 --> 00:16:56,295
Letting go of that dream was
the best decision I ever made.
450
00:16:56,296 --> 00:16:57,429
You guys actually think
451
00:16:57,430 --> 00:16:59,481
I have some lingering itch
to be an architect?
452
00:16:59,482 --> 00:17:01,433
Work 20 hours
a day and weekends?
453
00:17:01,434 --> 00:17:04,937
To get ulcers and pull my hair
out and worry and doubt myself
454
00:17:04,938 --> 00:17:06,638
and then at the end of it all,
455
00:17:06,639 --> 00:17:08,440
have the rug pulled out
from under me?
456
00:17:08,441 --> 00:17:10,109
I love being a professor, okay?
457
00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:12,311
All that stupid crap
they tell you
458
00:17:12,312 --> 00:17:13,779
about how fulfilling
teaching is?
459
00:17:13,780 --> 00:17:15,114
It's all true.
460
00:17:15,115 --> 00:17:18,183
I'm happy, and I'm not
letting go of that.
461
00:17:18,184 --> 00:17:19,735
My answer's no.
462
00:17:23,740 --> 00:17:25,958
Hey, guys.
463
00:17:25,959 --> 00:17:27,359
Where's the poop, Robin?
464
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:28,627
How do you do that?
465
00:17:28,628 --> 00:17:31,046
You are like a bomb-sniffing
dog, except with poop.
466
00:17:31,047 --> 00:17:32,581
You are a poop-sniffing dog.
467
00:17:32,582 --> 00:17:34,616
I think that's
just called a dog.
468
00:17:34,617 --> 00:17:36,418
Where's the poop, Robin?
469
00:17:36,419 --> 00:17:39,338
Fine. I called Don again.
470
00:17:40,507 --> 00:17:43,092
Hey, Don!
It's Robin again.
471
00:17:43,093 --> 00:17:45,177
Look, I am sorry
for all the calls.
472
00:17:45,178 --> 00:17:46,812
It's just,
I saw you on the news,
473
00:17:46,813 --> 00:17:48,931
and it made me a little crazy
for a minute.
474
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,385
I guess I wasn't as
over our breakup as I thought.
475
00:17:53,386 --> 00:17:55,254
But I want to say,
476
00:17:55,255 --> 00:17:57,389
from the bottom of my heart,
477
00:17:57,390 --> 00:17:59,108
I am going to kill you.
478
00:17:59,109 --> 00:18:00,242
No... No, I'm not.
479
00:18:00,243 --> 00:18:02,528
I am happy for you.
480
00:18:02,529 --> 00:18:05,330
And that Asian slut
on your Facebook page.
481
00:18:05,331 --> 00:18:07,483
She's dead, too.
482
00:18:07,484 --> 00:18:09,952
I thought you
deleted his number.
483
00:18:09,953 --> 00:18:12,004
I did, but it turns
out, I memorized it.
484
00:18:12,005 --> 00:18:14,339
You can't delete contacts
from your brain, Lily.
485
00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:15,574
Well, you have to try.
486
00:18:15,575 --> 00:18:16,992
If you ever want
to have closure...
487
00:18:16,993 --> 00:18:18,594
I am never going
to have closure.
488
00:18:18,595 --> 00:18:20,929
Okay? Closure
doesn't exist.
489
00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:23,015
Okay, one day, Don and I
are moving in together,
490
00:18:23,016 --> 00:18:24,216
and the next
thing I know,
491
00:18:24,217 --> 00:18:26,084
he's on a plane
to Chicago.
492
00:18:26,085 --> 00:18:28,937
It just... ended.
493
00:18:28,938 --> 00:18:32,307
And no matter how much I try
to forget that it happened,
494
00:18:32,308 --> 00:18:34,776
it will have never
not happened.
495
00:18:34,777 --> 00:18:36,912
Don and I will always
be a loose end.
496
00:18:36,913 --> 00:18:38,730
We'll always be...
497
00:18:38,731 --> 00:18:41,066
Unfinished.
498
00:18:43,019 --> 00:18:45,637
Gaudi, to his credit,
never gave up on his dream,
499
00:18:45,638 --> 00:18:47,656
but that's not
usually how it goes.
500
00:18:47,657 --> 00:18:50,159
I mean, usually,
it isn't a speeding bus
501
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,462
that keeps the brown, pointy,
weird church from getting built.
502
00:18:53,463 --> 00:18:56,198
Most of the time,
it's just too difficult
503
00:18:56,199 --> 00:18:59,134
or too expensive,
or too scary.
504
00:18:59,135 --> 00:19:02,254
It's only once you've stopped
505
00:19:02,255 --> 00:19:05,757
that you realize how hard it is
to start again.
506
00:19:05,758 --> 00:19:09,628
So you force yourself
not to want it.
507
00:19:09,629 --> 00:19:11,230
But it's always there.
508
00:19:11,231 --> 00:19:14,016
And until you finish it,
it will always be...
509
00:19:14,017 --> 00:19:16,652
* You keep on searching *
510
00:19:16,653 --> 00:19:23,659
* While you're
waiting for that sound *
511
00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:25,160
* What you find *
512
00:19:25,161 --> 00:19:28,530
* Ain't what
you had in mind... *
513
00:19:31,584 --> 00:19:33,418
Hey, Barney.
Hey, Rachel.
514
00:19:33,419 --> 00:19:36,004
Rachel, why aren't
you in class?
515
00:19:36,005 --> 00:19:37,222
Why aren't you in class?
516
00:19:37,223 --> 00:19:40,209
Yeah, Ted.
Why aren't you in class?
517
00:19:44,964 --> 00:19:46,798
You son of a bitch.
518
00:19:48,101 --> 00:19:49,551
I'll call Marshall.
519
00:19:49,552 --> 00:19:50,969
We'll draw up the contract.
520
00:19:50,970 --> 00:19:52,221
Not so fast.
521
00:19:52,222 --> 00:19:53,838
I'm not that easy.
522
00:19:53,839 --> 00:19:56,642
And so I made Barney
break his golden rule.
523
00:19:56,643 --> 00:19:58,277
I made him take me
out to dinner
524
00:19:58,278 --> 00:20:02,731
before I finally gave him
the thing he always got.
525
00:20:02,732 --> 00:20:04,349
Yes.
526
00:20:05,385 --> 00:20:08,420
And even though
it didn't happen right away...
527
00:20:08,421 --> 00:20:11,856
And now, the 11:00
News with Don Frank.
528
00:20:15,378 --> 00:20:17,095
Bueno?
529
00:20:17,096 --> 00:20:18,914
Who is this?
530
00:20:18,915 --> 00:20:20,499
No hablo ingles.
531
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:21,900
Quien es?
532
00:20:21,901 --> 00:20:24,486
I'm sorry. Is this 917-456...
533
00:20:24,487 --> 00:20:26,555
I'm sorry, 465...
534
00:20:26,556 --> 00:20:28,123
No, wait.
535
00:20:29,792 --> 00:20:33,178
Robin finally
got some closure, too.
536
00:20:33,679 --> 00:20:36,097
Sorry. Wrong number.
537
00:20:39,885 --> 00:20:42,036
Finished with that.
538
00:20:52,914 --> 00:20:54,147
Hey, punk!
539
00:20:54,148 --> 00:20:55,498
Bit of advice.
540
00:20:55,499 --> 00:20:58,969
Next time you step on a
kindergarten teacher's neck,
541
00:20:58,970 --> 00:21:01,338
you better finish the job.
542
00:21:01,339 --> 00:21:02,839
I knew this day would come.