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00:00:01,604 --> 00:00:03,677
It was saturday night
in New York City,
2
00:00:03,700 --> 00:00:06,134
and the young metropolit
was out on the town,
3
00:00:06,164 --> 00:00:09,595
living the kind of crazy lifestyle
you can only find in the Big Apple.
4
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:11,393
- 97.
- 97.
5
00:00:11,442 --> 00:00:12,726
- 98.
- 98.
6
00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:14,752
- 99.
- 99.
7
00:00:15,186 --> 00:00:16,792
100!
8
00:00:18,003 --> 00:00:21,104
A hundred? We only got to 82
on our honeymoon.
9
00:00:22,362 --> 00:00:24,695
So, Robin?
I've got a guy for you.
10
00:00:24,772 --> 00:00:27,886
- He's cute. He's funny. He's smart.
- What's his "but"?
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00:00:28,218 --> 00:00:28,999
What do you mean?
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00:00:29,026 --> 00:00:30,221
When someone wants
to set you up,
13
00:00:30,245 --> 00:00:32,222
they always tell you
their good qualities first, but
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then they leave out
their huge flaw.
15
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She's totally hot
and really fun.
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But she has a dead tooth.
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00:00:38,461 --> 00:00:41,439
She's super-hot,
and she's so successful.
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00:00:41,472 --> 00:00:44,619
But she has a pug that
she pushes around in a stroller
19
00:00:44,913 --> 00:00:47,737
She's so cute,
and she's so smart.
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00:00:47,774 --> 00:00:50,557
But her last boyfriend had
to get a restraining order against her,
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and then his cat and new vacuum
cleaner both went missing.
22
00:00:54,174 --> 00:00:55,589
Wow!
Set it up!
23
00:00:56,094 --> 00:00:57,959
I'm still convinced
she killed my turtle.
24
00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:00,957
Hey, you know what?
Not every setup has a "but. "
25
00:01:00,992 --> 00:01:03,657
What about, um, Jamie, that girl
that Lily set you up with?
26
00:01:03,682 --> 00:01:04,579
She was really nice.
27
00:01:04,604 --> 00:01:06,487
If memory serves me,
she had a huge "but. "
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Her huge butt.
29
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Nailed it!
30
00:01:10,041 --> 00:01:11,679
Well, there's nothing wrong
with this guy.
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00:01:11,702 --> 00:01:13,967
He's really nice,
and he's really cute...
32
00:01:13,992 --> 00:01:14,979
But?
33
00:01:15,381 --> 00:01:16,789
Fine.
34
00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,007
But he has a kid.
35
00:01:18,442 --> 00:01:21,629
Aha! There it is! Robin's not
going out with a guy with a kid.
36
00:01:21,693 --> 00:01:24,088
But the guy is really great,
and his kid's sweet.
37
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- He's in my class.
- It doesn't matter. Robin hates kids.
38
00:01:27,204 --> 00:01:28,726
I don't hate kids.
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00:01:28,743 --> 00:01:31,766
You told me even when you
were a kid, you hated kids.
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00:01:32,201 --> 00:01:34,837
Robin, will you watch
cartoons with me?
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00:01:34,872 --> 00:01:36,486
I go to school all week.
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00:01:36,562 --> 00:01:38,669
Can't I just have
five minutes to myself
43
00:01:38,704 --> 00:01:41,118
to read Highlights
and drink my juice?
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00:01:43,072 --> 00:01:46,249
Okay, yes, kids are not my favorite
thing in the world,
45
00:01:46,282 --> 00:01:48,627
- but I like them.
- Well, you don't want to have them.
46
00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:50,038
I like sports cars,
47
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but it doesn't mean I want to
push a Ferrari through my vagina.
48
00:01:53,144 --> 00:01:53,958
Shotgun.
49
00:01:55,294 --> 00:01:57,839
You can't blame us for thinking
that the kid would be a problem.
50
00:01:57,863 --> 00:01:59,607
I mean, if we were friends
with Garfield,
51
00:01:59,634 --> 00:02:01,306
we wouldn't set him up
on a date with Mondays.
52
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,658
You know what? The kid
is not a problem.
53
00:02:04,684 --> 00:02:05,508
I want to meet
this guy.
54
00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:07,756
- Okay. That's awesome!
- Yeah.
55
00:02:08,013 --> 00:02:10,017
Hey, what's my "but"?
56
00:02:10,054 --> 00:02:13,208
You know, I'm a...
I'm really nice, but...
57
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But she's afraid of commitment.
58
00:02:15,062 --> 00:02:16,598
But she's a gun nut.
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But she's Canadian.
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00:02:18,183 --> 00:02:20,029
But she didn't like
Field of Dreams.
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- I can't think of...
- You don't have a "but. "
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Sync: MiniBen
Proofreading: Flovap
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00:02:26,751 --> 00:02:30,097
Transcript: Raceman
Resync: kabbage
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00:02:30,503 --> 00:02:32,968
How I met your mother
3x02- We're Not From Here
65
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:35,976
for the " Have You Met Team"
for www. forom. com
66
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:40,767
Okay.
I've got it.
67
00:02:40,863 --> 00:02:42,626
Here. Put on this eye patch.
68
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,298
- Why?
- The ultimate ice-breaker.
69
00:02:46,764 --> 00:02:49,788
A bunch of cobras got loose
in Central Park.
70
00:02:49,854 --> 00:02:52,146
You and I are jogging...
71
00:02:52,424 --> 00:02:54,839
training for the Death Valley
Iron Man.
72
00:02:54,862 --> 00:02:56,659
No big deal.
We do it every year.
73
00:02:56,934 --> 00:02:58,048
Suddenly,
74
00:02:58,093 --> 00:03:00,057
we see these
snake bastards
75
00:03:00,094 --> 00:03:04,658
sneaking towards a little baby.
Not on our watch.
76
00:03:04,701 --> 00:03:10,747
You grab the kid, I strangle
six cobras with my bare hands.
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00:03:10,862 --> 00:03:13,898
Women of New York,
one at a time, please.
78
00:03:15,582 --> 00:03:17,136
So what are the eye patches for?
79
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,996
- We got bit.
- On the eye?
80
00:03:20,662 --> 00:03:21,497
Yes.
81
00:03:22,183 --> 00:03:23,437
Both of us?
82
00:03:23,524 --> 00:03:26,719
They're different eyes.
I don't know see why this bumps you!
83
00:03:27,402 --> 00:03:28,477
Patch up!
84
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,239
So Robin went on a date
with George,
85
00:03:31,314 --> 00:03:33,606
the guy with the kid,
and afterwards...
86
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,327
Okay, here's the thing.
87
00:03:35,373 --> 00:03:38,796
George is a great guy.
We had a wonderful date.
88
00:03:38,933 --> 00:03:40,237
But?
89
00:03:40,313 --> 00:03:42,466
Great. I can't
wait to meet him.
90
00:03:43,003 --> 00:03:44,218
"Can't wait to meet him"?
91
00:03:44,503 --> 00:03:47,117
Why did I say that?
I don't want to meet his kid.
92
00:03:47,234 --> 00:03:49,367
Well, you knew
you'd meet him sooner or later.
93
00:03:49,402 --> 00:03:51,376
Oh. I was just hoping
for later, like
94
00:03:51,421 --> 00:03:54,638
in 20 years when I'm a cougar
and he's as hot as his dad.
95
00:03:55,004 --> 00:03:57,358
Robin, what's the big deal?
He's just a kid.
96
00:03:57,394 --> 00:03:59,137
He's not going to bite.
97
00:03:59,752 --> 00:04:01,667
He may bite.
We're working on biting.
98
00:04:02,911 --> 00:04:06,096
Why is this kid around anyway?
Shouldn't he be with his mom?
99
00:04:06,142 --> 00:04:07,909
I mean, what kind of lawyer
does this guy have
100
00:04:07,941 --> 00:04:09,958
if he has to take care
of the kid all the time?
101
00:04:10,753 --> 00:04:12,536
A good one.
He won full custody.
102
00:04:12,584 --> 00:04:14,909
He won?! He won?
103
00:04:15,814 --> 00:04:18,046
Oh, God, getting the kid
is winning, isn't it?
104
00:04:20,144 --> 00:04:21,898
Don't tell anyone I said that.
105
00:04:23,071 --> 00:04:25,298
I'm going out
buying eye patches.
106
00:04:25,324 --> 00:04:27,159
What are you doing
to help score chicks?
107
00:04:27,213 --> 00:04:28,576
Okay, I'm going to let you in
on a little secret.
108
00:04:28,592 --> 00:04:31,079
People with real game
don't need eye patches.
109
00:04:32,964 --> 00:04:35,978
Theodore.
No, no, no.
110
00:04:36,064 --> 00:04:39,348
You can't spell "game"
without "me",
111
00:04:39,723 --> 00:04:41,918
and "me" has the best game.
112
00:04:41,973 --> 00:04:45,207
Yeah, well, I got so much game,
I'm Cornish game hen.
113
00:04:45,262 --> 00:04:48,308
Oh, yeah? I'm the New York State
gaming commissioner.
114
00:04:48,362 --> 00:04:50,018
Well, I'm The Game.
Well-crafted,
115
00:04:50,051 --> 00:04:52,937
keep-you-guessing thriller starring
Michael Douglas and Sean Penn.
116
00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:59,056
You're here
and not in stall two.
117
00:04:59,551 --> 00:05:01,097
Yeah. So?
118
00:05:01,142 --> 00:05:03,327
I may have made some
119
00:05:03,383 --> 00:05:07,558
wildly inappropriate homoerotic comments
to a gentleman wearing your shoes.
120
00:05:08,893 --> 00:05:10,757
- Okay, Marshall?
- Yes.
121
00:05:11,482 --> 00:05:13,258
Which one of us has more game?
122
00:05:14,182 --> 00:05:16,087
Neither of you guys
has any game, right?
123
00:05:16,112 --> 00:05:18,199
Or else you'd be married
like me.
124
00:05:19,201 --> 00:05:19,936
What?
125
00:05:19,961 --> 00:05:23,687
If dating is the game,
then marriage is winning the game.
126
00:05:24,403 --> 00:05:26,516
Yeah. If you're playing
in the women's league.
127
00:05:27,033 --> 00:05:29,529
You're joking.
I have mad game, brah.
128
00:05:30,972 --> 00:05:35,046
One: we agreed not
to ever say "brah" anymore.
129
00:05:35,083 --> 00:05:38,207
It was a good week,
we had a lot of fun, but it's over.
130
00:05:38,574 --> 00:05:41,848
Two: you've been with Lily
for 11 years.
131
00:05:41,882 --> 00:05:43,907
Your idea
of good game is
132
00:05:43,954 --> 00:05:46,376
slapping on a Dr. Seuss hat and flashing
133
00:05:46,377 --> 00:05:48,799
two tickets to a Spin Doctors concert.
134
00:05:48,852 --> 00:05:51,478
Yeah, I hate to say it, buddy, but, uh,
you're kind of irrelevant.
135
00:05:51,512 --> 00:05:53,117
What? I am not irrelevant.
136
00:05:53,171 --> 00:05:55,839
I know tons of stuff.
I can help you guys.
137
00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:57,858
I don't want to be left out.
138
00:05:58,021 --> 00:06:00,129
Ted, you do not have
more game than me.
139
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:03,999
By sheer numbers alone, I win.
Come on, dude. You've seen my list.
140
00:06:04,002 --> 00:06:05,317
You guys want to hear one of my lines?
141
00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:08,898
First of all, I did not ask to see
that list, and I am still horrified.
142
00:06:09,224 --> 00:06:12,396
And true game
is about quality, not quantity,
143
00:06:12,434 --> 00:06:15,297
and a quality girl would pick me
over you any day.
144
00:06:15,354 --> 00:06:16,566
Are you a model?
145
00:06:16,618 --> 00:06:19,569
That one's good because
it's flattering. To the girl.
146
00:06:21,326 --> 00:06:26,221
Ted, I challenge you
to a picking up girls Olympiad.
147
00:06:26,265 --> 00:06:28,002
- Fine.
- There will be 26 events
148
00:06:28,035 --> 00:06:30,089
spread out over 11 weeks.
149
00:06:30,124 --> 00:06:34,279
We will travel to a neutral city where
a panel of international judges...
150
00:06:34,314 --> 00:06:35,161
Or we could just choose a girl,
151
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,308
and the first one to seal the deal wins?
152
00:06:36,343 --> 00:06:37,457
That's good, too.
153
00:06:39,353 --> 00:06:40,787
How about her?
154
00:06:41,064 --> 00:06:42,139
You're on.
155
00:06:42,992 --> 00:06:46,056
Before we start, why don't we jot down
a few basic ground rules?
156
00:06:46,094 --> 00:06:49,106
Okay, great. Rule #1:
no eye patches or props of any...
157
00:06:51,804 --> 00:06:55,057
One time, I was with this girl,
and I tried that model line,
158
00:06:55,102 --> 00:06:57,588
and I totally got
some over-the-shirt boob action
159
00:06:57,623 --> 00:06:59,618
in the "Just Say No" assembly.
160
00:06:59,693 --> 00:07:01,936
Man, just stop.
You're bumming everybody out.
161
00:07:05,823 --> 00:07:10,417
Rule number two:
this bet is for one million dollars.
162
00:07:11,012 --> 00:07:12,577
- I win.
- How?
163
00:07:12,634 --> 00:07:16,146
Oh, I slept with her.
About a year ago. I just forgot.
164
00:07:16,223 --> 00:07:19,686
Oh, well, that doesn't count.
The bet started the moment we shook.
165
00:07:20,553 --> 00:07:22,518
But I can't sleep
with her again. She hates me.
166
00:07:22,593 --> 00:07:26,036
Oh. Interesting. Look who just took
a commanding lead.
167
00:07:26,092 --> 00:07:28,007
Now with you out of the picture,
I can take my sweet time.
168
00:07:28,034 --> 00:07:29,897
- Ted, she's leaving.
- Get out of my way.
169
00:07:32,764 --> 00:07:35,577
By the look of those shoes, here
comes your bathroom buddy.
170
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,338
Look who's got game.
171
00:07:46,922 --> 00:07:48,418
So, you're a big
kids person, huh?
172
00:07:48,464 --> 00:07:50,296
Only the biggest ever.
173
00:07:50,364 --> 00:07:52,768
I think kids are
so great,
174
00:07:52,923 --> 00:07:55,027
especially, um, the little ones.
175
00:07:55,091 --> 00:07:59,198
You know, uh... pudgy,
can't sit up, don't have teeth yet.
176
00:07:59,883 --> 00:08:01,947
- You mean babies?
- Yeah, I like that kind.
177
00:08:02,933 --> 00:08:06,019
- Well, Doug's almost six, so...
- Oh, six is great.
178
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,279
Oh, you are going to love six.
179
00:08:07,551 --> 00:08:10,597
Six is when they, uh,
they really start to, um...
180
00:08:12,433 --> 00:08:13,567
I hate kids.
181
00:08:13,944 --> 00:08:14,849
Excuse me. What?
182
00:08:14,902 --> 00:08:18,778
I mean, I don't hate kids.
I'm-I'm just not a kid person.
183
00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:21,259
I mean, yeah, it's cute that
their shoes are real little,
184
00:08:21,302 --> 00:08:23,148
but beyond that,
what's the draw?
185
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,147
You must think I'm nuts.
186
00:08:26,181 --> 00:08:29,127
What? No, no, no. I...
So you don't like kids, so what?
187
00:08:29,443 --> 00:08:32,049
And I'm not looking
for a mother for Doug.
188
00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:34,667
Uh, why don't we just hold off
on you meeting him?
189
00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:37,027
Yeah.
Let's take things slow.
190
00:08:37,181 --> 00:08:39,609
And kids, that's exactly
what she did.
191
00:08:40,011 --> 00:08:43,907
Then, on a totally different day that
was definitely not the next morning,
192
00:08:43,994 --> 00:08:46,897
Aunt Robin had to face
her worst fear.
193
00:08:51,252 --> 00:08:53,108
- Hey, what's up?
- It's here, Lily.
194
00:08:53,513 --> 00:08:55,037
It's looking at me.
195
00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:57,326
The kid. What do I do?
196
00:08:57,374 --> 00:08:59,486
Just talk to him.
You can do this, Robin.
197
00:08:59,553 --> 00:09:01,129
Who are you?
198
00:09:01,364 --> 00:09:04,539
- Um, I'm Robin.
- That's a bird's name.
199
00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:07,847
Ah, no, it's not.
It's actually a type of bird.
200
00:09:07,902 --> 00:09:11,438
My friend Patrick has a parakeet
named Robin, so there.
201
00:09:11,623 --> 00:09:14,486
- Do you want to talk in Morse code?
- Dude, I'm-I'm just reading my paper,
202
00:09:14,631 --> 00:09:15,796
- so...
- Beep.
203
00:09:15,872 --> 00:09:17,509
Beep-beep-beep.
204
00:09:17,872 --> 00:09:22,538
Beep. Beep.
Beep...!
205
00:09:22,702 --> 00:09:25,358
I'm starving.
Will you make me cereal?
206
00:09:26,553 --> 00:09:27,349
Sure.
207
00:09:27,694 --> 00:09:29,729
What are you doing?
You're supposed to pour the milk first.
208
00:09:29,753 --> 00:09:32,878
What?! No, you pour the cereal first so
you know how much milk you need.
209
00:09:32,914 --> 00:09:34,607
It tastes better milk first!
210
00:09:34,673 --> 00:09:37,088
It all tastes the same
once it's in the bowl.
211
00:09:37,502 --> 00:09:39,528
Why are you wearing
my dad's pants?
212
00:09:39,693 --> 00:09:40,967
Milk first it is.
213
00:09:43,123 --> 00:09:44,308
What are you reading?
214
00:09:44,633 --> 00:09:46,429
The business section.
215
00:09:46,501 --> 00:09:49,808
The Fed's going to lower rates again
to bail out these sub-prime lenders.
216
00:09:49,863 --> 00:09:51,328
Bunch of idiots.
217
00:09:51,384 --> 00:09:54,159
Ms. Aldrin says it's not nice
to call people names.
218
00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:57,466
Well, maybe if they weren't such idiot
I wouldn't have to call them that.
219
00:09:58,462 --> 00:09:59,929
That's what I said.
220
00:10:00,084 --> 00:10:01,107
You're pretty cool.
221
00:10:02,374 --> 00:10:03,239
You, too.
222
00:10:04,612 --> 00:10:06,869
Meanwhile, Stacey and I
had started dating.
223
00:10:07,324 --> 00:10:09,228
Oh, Stacey was the girl
from the bar.
224
00:10:09,364 --> 00:10:12,648
Anyway, I was close to winning the bet
when something unexpected happened.
225
00:10:12,882 --> 00:10:14,787
I started
to really like her.
226
00:10:14,992 --> 00:10:16,617
Well, have fun in yoga.
227
00:10:16,712 --> 00:10:18,447
She's strengthening her core.
228
00:10:18,472 --> 00:10:19,838
I think
that's going to be good.
229
00:10:20,443 --> 00:10:21,658
Yeah? All right.
230
00:10:21,904 --> 00:10:24,516
After a while,
crocodile.
231
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,518
You see this?
232
00:10:26,904 --> 00:10:28,058
Game face.
233
00:10:28,134 --> 00:10:29,268
Whatever, Ted.
234
00:10:29,302 --> 00:10:33,726
Oh. Get this. She plays bass
in a reggae band.
235
00:10:33,782 --> 00:10:37,129
They're having a show
this Friday. How cool is that?
236
00:10:37,193 --> 00:10:38,707
Oh, does she know that one song?
237
00:10:38,782 --> 00:10:41,567
Mm-mm, chaka, mm-mm, chaka.
238
00:10:41,831 --> 00:10:43,118
What's that song called?
239
00:10:43,173 --> 00:10:45,588
Oh, right.
It's called every reggae song.
240
00:10:45,982 --> 00:10:47,877
- I am not irrelevant.
- What?
241
00:10:48,013 --> 00:10:49,298
I ran the numbers.
242
00:10:49,404 --> 00:10:51,979
If Lily and I have sex
twice a week,
243
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:54,387
which let's be honest, we all
know is being conservative,
244
00:10:54,424 --> 00:10:56,876
and we've been together
for ten years,
245
00:10:56,912 --> 00:11:00,398
plus 17 more times
on the honeymoon,
246
00:11:00,914 --> 00:11:02,809
minus the two-week drought when
I said the checker at the grocery store
247
00:11:02,814 --> 00:11:05,237
reminded me of a young Lily,
248
00:11:05,243 --> 00:11:07,997
then we have had sex
a total of...
249
00:11:08,231 --> 00:11:10,099
- wait for it...
- Nice.
250
00:11:10,184 --> 00:11:13,638
1, 053-1/2 times.
251
00:11:13,784 --> 00:11:15,558
My mom called once.
252
00:11:15,773 --> 00:11:18,268
But that's more times
than Barney has ever had sex,
253
00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:21,119
and to your point, Ted,
Lily is a quality girl.
254
00:11:21,171 --> 00:11:23,366
I win.
Lawyered.
255
00:11:26,551 --> 00:11:27,558
Doesn't count.
256
00:11:28,201 --> 00:11:30,378
- It totally counts.
- You're right. It does count.
257
00:11:30,431 --> 00:11:34,006
It counts as one.
You've had sex once. How was it?
258
00:11:36,381 --> 00:11:38,097
I still matter.
259
00:11:40,493 --> 00:11:43,079
Okay, Ted, go win the bet.
260
00:11:43,213 --> 00:11:45,747
You have my blessing.
She's a wonderful girl.
261
00:11:45,951 --> 00:11:47,057
I should know.
262
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,697
Oh, okay.
Ok, I see what you're doing.
263
00:11:50,871 --> 00:11:54,158
We've never shared a woman,
have we, Ted? Isn't that funny?
264
00:11:54,272 --> 00:11:56,547
You're with her now.
I was with her a year ago.
265
00:11:56,591 --> 00:12:00,146
You figure, for her,
that's like 200 showers ago.
266
00:12:00,294 --> 00:12:03,139
You've got to ask yourself, Ted,
"Is 200 enough?"
267
00:12:03,821 --> 00:12:05,378
You know what?
268
00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:06,479
I don't mind.
269
00:12:06,562 --> 00:12:08,429
No, of course you don't mind.
270
00:12:08,503 --> 00:12:11,057
Just like the second guy to climb
Mount Everest didn't mind
271
00:12:11,073 --> 00:12:15,046
getting all the way to the top only
to find Sir Edmund Hillary's flagpole
272
00:12:15,053 --> 00:12:17,216
thrust into its supple peak.
273
00:12:17,722 --> 00:12:19,071
No, I'm sure when you're with her,
274
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,816
I'll be the furthest
thing from your mind.
275
00:12:21,143 --> 00:12:23,598
Kissing what I've already kissed,
276
00:12:23,671 --> 00:12:26,117
nuzzling what I've already nuzzled,
277
00:12:26,472 --> 00:12:30,636
going... on what
I've already gone on.
278
00:12:31,772 --> 00:12:36,117
Barney, I'm not afraid
of catching your cooties, 'kay?
279
00:12:36,201 --> 00:12:38,588
Really?
Ted's not afraid of cooties?
280
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,757
Okay, well, then I guess
you'd have no problem
281
00:12:40,813 --> 00:12:43,487
- having a sip of my gin and tonic.
- Fine.
282
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:51,409
And I only stirred that
with my pinky.
283
00:12:53,944 --> 00:12:55,819
Guess who loves Robin.
284
00:12:56,462 --> 00:12:59,208
Kids. Kids love Robin.
285
00:12:59,271 --> 00:13:01,338
Doug thinks I'm pretty cool.
286
00:13:01,433 --> 00:13:05,609
Really, that's great!
You and George, all thanks to me.
287
00:13:05,684 --> 00:13:07,719
Yeah, I'm going to have
to break up with him.
288
00:13:08,463 --> 00:13:10,638
- What?
- Well, it's just...
289
00:13:10,722 --> 00:13:12,916
it's getting a little bit
too serious with the kid.
290
00:13:13,321 --> 00:13:15,646
You know, it's just not
what I'm looking for.
291
00:13:15,874 --> 00:13:18,858
So better I break it off now
before he gets too attached.
292
00:13:19,824 --> 00:13:20,549
What?
293
00:13:21,054 --> 00:13:23,007
I hate to tell you, but...
294
00:13:23,862 --> 00:13:25,386
too late.
295
00:13:28,181 --> 00:13:29,999
He drew it in class today.
296
00:13:30,112 --> 00:13:31,966
Oh, crap.
297
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,376
There's no way
that's a picture of me.
298
00:13:39,449 --> 00:13:43,035
That woman has on hoop earrings.
I don't even own hoop earrings.
299
00:13:43,461 --> 00:13:46,105
I have one pair and they're gold.
Those are fruit loops.
300
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,174
You are so in denial right now
301
00:13:48,212 --> 00:13:51,017
and you're doing what you always
do in relationships:
302
00:13:51,092 --> 00:13:53,854
the second you get close
to a guy, you want to bail.
303
00:13:54,672 --> 00:13:57,254
Okay, granted, he's six,
but the point stands.
304
00:13:58,350 --> 00:14:00,127
Well, we'll ask the guys.
305
00:14:00,542 --> 00:14:01,794
They'll tell you that's not me.
306
00:14:01,889 --> 00:14:03,165
That's totally you.
307
00:14:03,212 --> 00:14:05,165
Wh... you guys are crazy.
308
00:14:05,232 --> 00:14:06,695
Hey, who drew
the picture of Robin?
309
00:14:06,781 --> 00:14:08,637
- It's not me.
- You're joking, right?
310
00:14:08,690 --> 00:14:11,097
- It's not me!
- "My new mommy. "
311
00:14:11,239 --> 00:14:12,734
Kind of has
a nice ring to it.
312
00:14:12,899 --> 00:14:14,845
Hey, now that you're a mom,
are you going to start wearing
313
00:14:14,869 --> 00:14:17,466
those totally awesome jeans
that go right up to your boobs?
314
00:14:18,239 --> 00:14:19,876
Do you guys really
think this is me?
315
00:14:20,042 --> 00:14:21,385
Honey, it's you.
316
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,147
And if you're going
to break up with George,
317
00:14:23,201 --> 00:14:25,106
you have to break up
with his kid, too.
318
00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:27,796
- Really?
- Yeah, you can't just abandon him.
319
00:14:27,852 --> 00:14:29,257
You have to talk to him.
320
00:14:29,821 --> 00:14:32,525
Come on, Robin, you know
it's the right thing to do.
321
00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:34,014
Oh, man.
322
00:14:34,732 --> 00:14:36,754
Doug was right:
You are a pain in the ass.
323
00:14:38,741 --> 00:14:41,094
So I had a really
nice time tonight.
324
00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:43,055
- Me, too.
- Yeah?
325
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:50,474
Hey, Ted, pucker up all you want,
but I was here first.
326
00:15:00,001 --> 00:15:03,087
From this spot, I also launched
an expedition
327
00:15:03,149 --> 00:15:06,176
to those two large ridges
down there.
328
00:15:18,681 --> 00:15:19,614
Ted?
329
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,026
Something wrong?
330
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,386
- Hey, Doug.
- Are you here to see my dad?
331
00:15:28,442 --> 00:15:29,775
He's taking a shower.
332
00:15:29,919 --> 00:15:32,106
Actually, I came to see you.
333
00:15:32,329 --> 00:15:34,294
I wrote a poem.
Do you want to hear it?
334
00:15:34,442 --> 00:15:35,645
Sure. Why not?
335
00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:37,826
"To my new mommy.
336
00:15:39,871 --> 00:15:41,236
"You are pretty.
337
00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:42,537
"You are nice.
338
00:15:42,851 --> 00:15:46,314
- And you smell like daisies. "
- Aw, that is so sweet.
339
00:15:46,522 --> 00:15:47,874
Even though it
doesn't rhyme.
340
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:51,195
Look, uh, Doug.
341
00:15:51,422 --> 00:15:53,774
There's no good way
to say this, uh...
342
00:15:53,879 --> 00:15:55,906
Aunt Robin didn't know
what to say.
343
00:15:56,110 --> 00:15:58,386
This kid has never been
dumped before.
344
00:15:58,781 --> 00:16:00,226
But then she realized...
345
00:16:00,319 --> 00:16:02,676
this kid had never
been dumped before.
346
00:16:03,032 --> 00:16:05,036
She could use every cliché
in the book.
347
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:06,505
We need to talk.
348
00:16:07,241 --> 00:16:10,686
I just think, um, we both could use
some space right now.
349
00:16:10,742 --> 00:16:12,677
It's not you. It's me.
350
00:16:12,742 --> 00:16:15,767
Look, I know this hurts,
but you deserve someone better.
351
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,367
I'm just really trying to focus
on my career right now.
352
00:16:19,452 --> 00:16:21,044
You know?
353
00:16:21,090 --> 00:16:22,877
I just hope we can
still be friends.
354
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:30,525
Hi.
355
00:16:30,701 --> 00:16:32,775
I'm Brooke. I'm here
for my date with George.
356
00:16:33,109 --> 00:16:35,406
You must be
the babysitter.
357
00:16:40,612 --> 00:16:44,204
I had so much coffee earlier. I need
to run to the loo, but hey, Dougie.
358
00:16:48,519 --> 00:16:49,594
What the hell was that?
359
00:16:50,459 --> 00:16:52,155
That was my new mom.
360
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:55,894
So...
this picture is not of me?
361
00:16:56,052 --> 00:16:58,136
- Why would I draw a picture of you?
- Wha...?
362
00:16:59,639 --> 00:17:01,705
How many dates has she been on
with your dad?
363
00:17:01,731 --> 00:17:02,435
Two.
364
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:05,114
I've been on, like, five
and you like her better?
365
00:17:05,182 --> 00:17:06,795
We just really connected.
366
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,295
And what about me?
367
00:17:08,339 --> 00:17:12,074
You think I just go around pouring
cereal for every boy in town?
368
00:17:12,681 --> 00:17:14,756
Why are you getting
so upset, Roberta?
369
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,304
Robin. My name is Robin.
370
00:17:17,842 --> 00:17:19,444
Like the bird, remember?
371
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:20,734
Whatever.
372
00:17:22,251 --> 00:17:23,964
So that's it, huh?
373
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:27,766
- Look, you're great, but...
- Yeah.
374
00:17:28,249 --> 00:17:29,697
There's always a "but. "
375
00:17:30,729 --> 00:17:33,467
Well, I couldn't do it.
I broke up with her.
376
00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:36,394
Thanks a lot, by the way.
A beautiful, sexy girl
377
00:17:36,419 --> 00:17:38,745
and all I could think about
was you being there first.
378
00:17:39,201 --> 00:17:41,546
You were stuck in my head
like a Chumbawamba song.
379
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,275
Which Chumbawamba song?
380
00:17:46,471 --> 00:17:49,267
Well, what an interesting
turn of events.
381
00:17:49,330 --> 00:17:51,586
It looks like I'm going to win.
382
00:17:51,649 --> 00:17:53,295
What do you mean "win"?
You couldn't even talk to her.
383
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:54,945
You tried
and you got slapped.
384
00:17:55,062 --> 00:17:56,086
That's what you think happened.
385
00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,647
Okay, great, rule #1:
no eye patches or props of any ki...
386
00:18:00,071 --> 00:18:02,196
Here's the deal: my friend just got
dumped, so he's a little shy,
387
00:18:02,229 --> 00:18:03,786
but he'd love to buy you
a drink and get to know you.
388
00:18:03,809 --> 00:18:05,816
The problem is, he thinks a pretty girl
like you won't go for a guy like him.
389
00:18:05,830 --> 00:18:08,584
So would you slap me across the face so he can
see you're not into guys who'd feed you lines?
390
00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:10,054
What do you say? For my friend?
391
00:18:10,121 --> 00:18:11,585
You are so sweet.
392
00:18:12,982 --> 00:18:16,044
So now, whatever nice things
Ted does for her, in her mind,
393
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:17,985
I'm the guy who's even
nicer than him.
394
00:18:18,201 --> 00:18:19,357
So you never
slept with her?
395
00:18:19,451 --> 00:18:21,006
Not even at all.
396
00:18:21,362 --> 00:18:23,354
Wow, that's good.
397
00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:24,376
It gets better.
398
00:18:24,431 --> 00:18:25,836
Remember Ted's phone
conversation?
399
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:27,445
Well, have fun in yoga.
400
00:18:27,492 --> 00:18:28,185
Well...
401
00:18:30,132 --> 00:18:31,646
- I am...
- Sorry.
402
00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:33,184
Stacey, right?
403
00:18:33,249 --> 00:18:36,334
Yeah... oh, you're Ted's
friend from the bar, right?
404
00:18:36,461 --> 00:18:38,116
Wait, don't tell me
you go to yoga here, too.
405
00:18:38,149 --> 00:18:39,095
I do.
406
00:18:39,181 --> 00:18:42,554
She plays bass in a reggae band.
407
00:18:42,601 --> 00:18:44,737
... and then I'm going to head
out to a reggae concert.
408
00:18:44,759 --> 00:18:46,007
I'm a huge fan of reggae.
409
00:18:46,039 --> 00:18:47,087
Oh, my gosh!
410
00:18:47,152 --> 00:18:48,616
I play in a reggae band.
411
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:49,877
No way.
412
00:18:49,959 --> 00:18:51,364
I wonder why Ted didn't
tell me about that.
413
00:18:51,402 --> 00:18:53,765
Like I said,
I'm a huge reggae fan.
414
00:18:54,369 --> 00:18:56,076
Well... I should go inside.
415
00:18:56,372 --> 00:18:57,925
After a while, crocodile.
416
00:18:57,989 --> 00:18:59,566
- See you later, allig...
- See you later, allig...
417
00:18:59,971 --> 00:19:01,707
We are two peas.
418
00:19:02,311 --> 00:19:04,414
Wow, well, take care.
419
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,474
Um, namaste.
420
00:19:12,592 --> 00:19:14,554
You are a sociopath.
421
00:19:14,722 --> 00:19:16,017
And that was my yoga mat.
422
00:19:17,212 --> 00:19:19,545
So now with Ted out of the picture,
I'm going to swoop in
423
00:19:19,572 --> 00:19:20,677
and win the whole thing.
424
00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:21,374
Why?
425
00:19:21,390 --> 00:19:24,755
Parce que j'ai le jeu,
mes chiennes.
426
00:19:24,782 --> 00:19:25,937
Translation:
427
00:19:26,029 --> 00:19:28,726
"'Cause I got game, bitches. "
428
00:19:29,009 --> 00:19:31,117
No. No, this doesn't
prove anything because...
429
00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:32,044
Hold on a second.
430
00:19:32,970 --> 00:19:33,757
It's Stacey.
431
00:19:34,470 --> 00:19:35,974
Hey, Stace?
432
00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:37,666
What happened?
433
00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:40,334
He did not!
434
00:19:40,812 --> 00:19:42,494
Stay there.
I'll be right over.
435
00:19:46,302 --> 00:19:48,944
I should've just worn
that stupid eye patch.
436
00:19:50,791 --> 00:19:53,625
Oh, I can't believe you got
dumped by a six-year-old.
437
00:19:53,662 --> 00:19:55,507
Whatever.
He's a stupid-head.
438
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,617
I'm just...
I'm done with kids.
439
00:19:58,682 --> 00:20:01,514
Of course, Robin eventually
made her peace with kids.
440
00:20:01,670 --> 00:20:02,744
And as you guys know,
441
00:20:02,782 --> 00:20:05,396
she went on to appear in some
very important works of art:
442
00:20:05,842 --> 00:20:06,616
yours.
443
00:20:24,916 --> 00:20:25,631
Hey.
444
00:20:26,597 --> 00:20:28,142
You know, I really appreciate
445
00:20:28,164 --> 00:20:30,311
how cool you've been
about us taking things slow.
446
00:20:31,136 --> 00:20:32,671
Since Ted, you know, I...
447
00:20:32,855 --> 00:20:34,979
I don't really want
to get physical too fast.
448
00:20:35,344 --> 00:20:38,002
That's what makes you
so special, baby.
449
00:20:38,047 --> 00:20:41,291
Anyway, I am so psyched
to be playing Sunsplash tomorrow.
450
00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:43,590
We go on sometime
between 11:00 and 6:00,
451
00:20:43,606 --> 00:20:46,471
so you probably want to get there
before 9:00 just to be safe.
452
00:20:47,636 --> 00:20:50,112
Oh...
and it's gonna be muddy.