1
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:19,884
OLDER TED; It was May of 2006
in New York City, and life was good,
2
00:00:19,986 --> 00:00:22,477
But everything was about to change,
3
00:00:22,989 --> 00:00:25,423
So what do you think?
4
00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:28,754
Robin again?
5
00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:34,724
Ted, the universe clearly does not want
you and Robin to be together.
6
00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:37,769
Don't piss off the universe.
The universe will slap you.
7
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,031
Don't you think the universe
8
00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:41,369
has more important things
to worry about than my dating life?
9
00:00:41,474 --> 00:00:45,535
Unless your dating life is the glue
holding the entire universe together.
10
00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:48,808
Whoa, chills. Anybody else get chills?
11
00:00:49,949 --> 00:00:53,146
Look, I realize we've been
down this road before,
12
00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:57,519
but the fact is, whatever I do,
it all keeps coming back to Robin.
13
00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:59,990
So I gotta do this.
14
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,393
- What the hell?
- That wasn't me.
15
00:01:04,497 --> 00:01:06,328
That was the universe.
16
00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:09,459
OLDER TED; The funny thing was,
at that very moment,
17
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,696
the universe was working
on something,
18
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,033
A storm,
19
00:01:13,139 --> 00:01:17,098
So Tropical Storm Willie
is gonna be with us at least until Monday.
20
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:19,804
It's gonna rain cats and dogs, folks.
21
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,778
So don't step in a poodle.
22
00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:24,372
- Sandy, Robin?
- Thanks, Lou.
23
00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:25,508
Boy, too bad.
24
00:01:25,618 --> 00:01:28,485
Our big Metro News 1 camping trip
was gonna be this weekend.
25
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:31,580
Yeah, but camping out in the rain?
No fun. Muddy. Yuck.
26
00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:33,283
Guess we'll have to take a rain check.
27
00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:35,554
And we'll check in
with you tomorrow, New York.
28
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,152
Have a great night.
29
00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:39,058
MAN: And we're clear.
30
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:43,158
Bummer. I was hoping to finally have sex
with you this weekend, Scherbatsky.
31
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:46,261
Well, I'd give you the
"I don't date co-workers" speech again,
32
00:01:46,372 --> 00:01:49,273
but, God, you must have
that son-of-a-bitch memorized by now.
33
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:52,367
Shame, though.
It was a pretty hot show tonight.
34
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:55,573
The rhythmic give and take
of our improvised banter there at the end
35
00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:57,206
really got my freak juice flowing.
36
00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:58,612
(LAUGHS)
37
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,076
Dude, he is right.
38
00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:02,450
How many times do you have
to watch this crash and burn
39
00:02:02,555 --> 00:02:05,752
- before you say, "Enough"?
- One more. One more time.
40
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,225
One more big, beautiful, stupid,
romantic gesture
41
00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:10,956
and then, whatever she says,
yes or no, that's it.
42
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:12,463
If it's yes, great.
43
00:02:12,565 --> 00:02:15,762
If it's no,
then I am done going after Robin forever.
44
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,997
So what's this big, beautiful,
romantic gesture?
45
00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:21,204
I am going to make her
46
00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:23,940
a mix CD.
47
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:26,843
No, I'm kidding. I got a plan.
48
00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:28,937
Lily, I'm gonna need the spare key
to Robin's apartment.
49
00:02:29,048 --> 00:02:30,481
I see where this is going.
50
00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:32,483
Ted, waiting naked in a girl's bed
51
00:02:32,585 --> 00:02:35,418
wearing whipped cream undies
does not work.
52
00:02:35,788 --> 00:02:38,780
Usually. The setting,
Martha's Vineyard, 1999.
53
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:42,851
The characters, yours truly
and a raven-haired au pair by the...
54
00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:44,322
Universe.
55
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:47,331
So this plan you speak of.
56
00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:50,358
Remember the first night
Robin and I went out?
57
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:54,031
TED; I stole a blue French horn for her,
and it almost worked,
58
00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:58,335
Yeah, dude, that was awesome.
But how are you ever gonna top that?
59
00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:07,083
She should be here any second. So...
60
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:10,045
We're pretty hungry.
When do we get our pizza?
61
00:03:10,156 --> 00:03:11,282
Enough with the...
62
00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:13,825
We'll go get pizza later, all right?
Just stay...
63
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:15,292
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
64
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:23,432
(CLEARS THROAT)
65
00:03:25,905 --> 00:03:27,133
(SIGHING)
66
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,434
ROBIN: Damn it.
67
00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:34,739
(PHONE RINGING)
68
00:03:34,847 --> 00:03:36,314
- Hello?
- Hey, Lily.
69
00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:40,216
I'm locked out of my apartment.
I need to come pick up my extra key.
70
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:41,617
Extra key?
71
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,115
Do I have an extra key to your apartment?
72
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,487
Yes, I gave it to you.
73
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:49,494
Oh, right. That key. Yeah, I lost it.
74
00:03:50,196 --> 00:03:52,096
Great. Now I gotta go to the locksmith.
75
00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:53,495
No. Wait.
76
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,364
Maybe you should just knock.
77
00:03:56,469 --> 00:03:57,629
Knock?
78
00:03:57,937 --> 00:03:59,632
Lily, my dogs aren't that well-trained.
79
00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:00,831
(DOOR OPENING)
80
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:04,700
(ROBIN CHA TTERING ON PHONE)
81
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,208
Hello, Lily, This is Janet Kagen,
82
00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:10,077
at the Russell House Art Foundation
here in San Francisco,
83
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:12,674
I'm pleased to inform you
that we've accepted your application
84
00:04:12,785 --> 00:04:14,047
for our summer fellowship,
85
00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:16,485
We look forward to hearing from you,
Bye-bye,
86
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:19,456
Robin, I gotta go. Just knock, okay?
87
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,422
Summer fellowship?
88
00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:26,056
Just knock. Okay.
89
00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:35,601
- Hi.
- Hi.
90
00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:43,944
(GASPS)
91
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:49,486
Robin. I've sort of said this already.
92
00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:53,855
I mean, I've half-said it.
I've tried to say it and I've said it badly.
93
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,155
So this is me, just saying it.
94
00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:58,189
With strings.
95
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:03,064
I'm crazy about you.
I think we should be together.
96
00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:05,328
What do you say?
97
00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:18,016
- What do you say?
- Yes. No. I don't know.
98
00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:20,078
Those are the three options.
99
00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:22,051
- Ted, this is so...
- I know.
100
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,022
I mean, I come home,
I was gonna watch Jeopardy,
101
00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:27,649
and there's a string quartet,
102
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,560
and I have to pee.
103
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,490
Oh, I'm sorry.
104
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,763
- Well, go ahead, we'll wait.
- Great.
105
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:50,677
Yeah, 'cause when we talked earlier,
you said there'd be pizza.
106
00:05:50,783 --> 00:05:54,412
No, I said I'd get you a pizza afterwards.
107
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,249
Look, could we talk about this later?
108
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,223
- I'm sort of professing my love here.
- Sure.
109
00:06:01,627 --> 00:06:03,754
We're not getting any pizza.
110
00:06:05,631 --> 00:06:08,464
Okay. Let's talk.
111
00:06:08,901 --> 00:06:09,959
Okay.
112
00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:16,266
Hey, you guys wanna take five? All right.
113
00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:20,174
Thanks, guys, we just need a minute.
Sort of a big life decision.
114
00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:23,874
Love the blue instruments, though.
Kind of an inside joke.
115
00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:25,177
Thanks.
116
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,948
- You're crazy.
- Right. Come on.
117
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,456
It's not that I haven't thought about this.
118
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,856
You know that I have.
But let's look at this, okay?
119
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,758
We only just started being friends again.
120
00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:39,458
I know. But come on.
121
00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:43,825
And... And we want different things.
That's still there. That's not going away.
122
00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:46,200
I mean, what if we do this
and it doesn't work out
123
00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:47,670
and I'd lose you as a friend?
124
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:50,041
I gotta think about this.
125
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,304
Okay, fine. Think about it on the plane.
126
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,970
Let's go to Paris for the weekend.
I'm serious.
127
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,138
(EXCLAIMS)
128
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:58,479
- I'm kidding. I'm serious.
- I can't go to Paris. I'm going camping.
129
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:01,018
- Well, I thought that thing was canceled.
- Well, it's back on.
130
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,588
- Since when?
- Since like an hour ago.
131
00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:07,382
Sending the storm
back out into the Atlantic.
132
00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:10,257
So it's blue skies this weekend.
133
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:13,029
- Sandy, Robin?
- Thanks, Lou.
134
00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:16,693
But that blue sky
isn't without at least one cloud.
135
00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:19,471
I'm sorry to announce
that one week from today
136
00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:21,870
I will be leaving Metro News 1,
137
00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:24,774
It has been an honor
to bring you the news each night,
138
00:07:24,877 --> 00:07:27,471
and read the paper to you each morning.
139
00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:30,640
I will always treasure it.
Good night, New York.
140
00:07:31,317 --> 00:07:32,750
MAN: And we're clear.
141
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:36,282
- You're leaving?
- There. I quit my job.
142
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:39,286
We're not co-workers.
Will you please have dinner with me?
143
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:40,654
(EXCLAIMS)
144
00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:43,054
I'm joking. I got offered a job at CNN.
145
00:07:43,162 --> 00:07:46,393
- Oh, congratulations.
- Congratulations, yourself.
146
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:49,297
- What do you mean?
- Well, Joe asked me
147
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:52,337
who I thought should replace me
as lead anchor.
148
00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:53,632
I told him you.
149
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:57,171
They're announcing it next week.
Act surprised.
150
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,711
Wow. Thanks.
151
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:03,541
And, yes.
152
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,913
- Yes, what?
- Yes, let's go get dinner.
153
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,450
How about this weekend
on the camping trip?
154
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:11,853
I roast a mean weenie.
155
00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:17,893
You're kidding me. No way.
Don't go on this thing.
156
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:20,659
Ted, I have to go.
It's a company camping trip.
157
00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:23,963
Really? Because it also kind of
sounds like a date with Sandy
158
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:25,128
and his weenie.
159
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,398
(LAUGHS)
160
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:30,169
- I mean, is this not a date?
- I don't know.
161
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:33,973
- So, what, you actually like this guy now?
- I don't know.
162
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,710
- Are you gonna hook up with him?
- I don't know.
163
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,647
- Yes, you do.
- No, Ted, I don't.
164
00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:40,616
And you know what? That's okay.
165
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,655
I don't plan out every second of my life,
like you do.
166
00:08:43,756 --> 00:08:45,383
- I don't plan out every...
- Oh, really?
167
00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:47,152
What is all of this?
168
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:51,094
I mean, why can't you just say,
"Hey, Robin, let's go get some sushi?"
169
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:56,134
No, it has to be a string quartet,
and Paris, and flowers, and chocolates,
170
00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:58,396
and "Let's spend
the rest of our lives together."
171
00:08:58,504 --> 00:09:01,496
(EXCLAIMS) Don't you think
we're a little past sushi at this point?
172
00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:04,641
God, you are so terrified of anything real.
173
00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:08,680
It's like you're floating out in space.
Touch the ground, Robin.
174
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:11,644
Live in the world, make a mistake.
Make this mistake.
175
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:13,412
I need to think about this.
176
00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:14,781
Fine.
177
00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:17,050
No. I'm sorry,
178
00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,953
I can't do this anymore. I need an answer.
179
00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:25,619
If you want me to say yes right now,
I can't do that.
180
00:09:26,465 --> 00:09:29,593
Well, if it's not yes then it's a no.
181
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:34,572
Then I guess it's not meant to be.
182
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:41,111
- Nice try, buddy.
- Good hustle out there.
183
00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:44,908
Look at the bright side.
At least you got some closure.
184
00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:48,214
She's made her choice,
and you can finally move on.
185
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:49,982
Screw that. This ain't over.
186
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:51,623
(BARNEY AND LILY EXCLAIMING)
187
00:09:51,724 --> 00:09:54,249
You sat here, in this very booth,
and you said...
188
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,693
I don't care what I said.
This is gonna happen.
189
00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:00,391
She can't say it's not meant to be.
It is meant to be.
190
00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:02,694
And you know why?
'Cause I mean it to be.
191
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:05,160
(STAMMERING)
192
00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:08,771
- Unpause?
- Unpause.
193
00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:10,273
OLDER TED; Let's pause,
194
00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:13,906
See, Marshall and Lily had a rule
that at any point during a fight,
195
00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:17,813
they could pause and take a break,
Their fights often lasted for days,
196
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:20,283
- A painting fellowship?
- I was never gonna take it.
197
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:23,014
- In California?
- I was never gonna take it.
198
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,955
Ted, she is going on that camping trip.
199
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:27,923
Dude, barring some act of God,
200
00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:30,257
Robin's gonna be
with Sandy this weekend.
201
00:10:32,264 --> 00:10:33,356
Fine.
202
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:38,136
If an act of God is what it takes,
then an act of God it is.
203
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:40,797
What are you talking about?
204
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:44,875
I'm gonna make it rain.
205
00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:51,174
I can't let Robin go camping with this guy.
206
00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:55,083
So how do I keep that from happening?
Simple. I make it rain.
207
00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:58,918
Ted, do you want me to slap you again?
'Cause I kind of enjoyed it the first time.
208
00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:01,290
I might be crazy right now.
No, you know what?
209
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,919
I am definitely crazy right now.
But I have a plan.
210
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:05,725
That girl you used
to go out with, Penelope.
211
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,356
Wasn't she getting her PhD
in Native American culture?
212
00:11:08,467 --> 00:11:10,094
- Yeah.
- Are you still in touch with her?
213
00:11:10,202 --> 00:11:12,363
Sure. I mean,
even though we stopped having sex,
214
00:11:12,471 --> 00:11:14,803
we still get together like once a month
to chat and catch up,
215
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,499
and of course I'm not in touch with her!
216
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,668
Well, you're gonna
need to get in touch with her.
217
00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:21,542
She's gonna teach me
how to do a rain dance.
218
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,583
- Did you just say a rain dance?
- Yes.
219
00:11:26,218 --> 00:11:28,015
- A rain dance?
- Yes.
220
00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:31,784
- A dance to make it rain.
- Yes.
221
00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:40,359
(MUTTERING ANGRILY)
222
00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:42,195
- No, we are not!
- Yes, we are!
223
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:44,394
Ted, you're forcing me
to be the voice of reason.
224
00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:46,835
And it's not a good look for me!
225
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:50,174
- Why the hell should I help you?
- Come on.
226
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:54,508
I know it didn't work out between us,
but we did have a relationship.
227
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:58,210
We had sex twice in your car
and then you dumped me.
228
00:11:58,317 --> 00:12:00,410
How is that a relationship?
229
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,048
Twice?
230
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,151
Barney, there is no way I am...
231
00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:05,450
(MAN SHUSHING)
232
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:06,752
Seriously, come on.
233
00:12:08,594 --> 00:12:11,495
Penelope, I really need
to make it rain this weekend.
234
00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:12,655
Why?
235
00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:14,459
There's this girl...
236
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,762
(SCOFFS) "There's this girl?"
237
00:12:16,869 --> 00:12:20,635
You know, the traditional rain dance
is a sacred prayer to nature.
238
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,470
I don't think the Great Spirit
looks too kindly on white dudes
239
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,237
who co-opt it to get laid.
240
00:12:25,344 --> 00:12:27,175
Penelope, this is the girl I love.
241
00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:30,680
If it doesn't rain this weekend,
she's gonna end up with the wrong guy.
242
00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:31,943
Please.
243
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:37,845
- This wrong guy, is he a huge jackass?
- Absolutely.
244
00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:39,390
- Kind of like Barney?
- Kind of.
245
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,050
- Hey.
- You hit on my mom.
246
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,559
We weren't exclusive.
247
00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:46,223
I'm in.
248
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,926
OLDER TED; And so the three of us
headed to the roof of my building,
249
00:12:49,034 --> 00:12:50,092
Okay.
250
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,796
Crouch down and bend over a little bit.
251
00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:55,339
Wow, it took five shots of tequila
to get you in that position.
252
00:12:56,175 --> 00:12:58,006
I will throw you off this roof.
253
00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:00,971
So much of your mom in you.
254
00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:06,241
And she's been throwing up ever since.
255
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:08,343
So how'd she manage
to eat so much chocolate?
256
00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:12,414
Remember that guy, Ted,
that I was telling you about?
257
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:15,460
Well, I came home
and I found him waiting in my apartment
258
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,791
with a string quartet and roses
and chocolates...
259
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:20,195
Oh, that's so sweet.
260
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:24,734
Okay, yes, it's sweet in theory.
But isn't it also kind of crazy?
261
00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:27,772
I mean, a string quartet in my living room.
262
00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:30,273
- Who does that?
- Nobody does that.
263
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:34,005
- Exactly.
- No, honey. Nobody does that.
264
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:38,912
But I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic.
265
00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:40,542
I'm gonna put my hand up your dog now.
266
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,878
(WHIMPERING)
267
00:13:43,722 --> 00:13:46,213
So you're saying
you would forbid me from going.
268
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,952
Forbid? Who said forbid?
269
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:51,496
I was just reminding you that there's this
wedding coming up in a couple of months,
270
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:53,155
and I was kind of hoping
you'd save the date.
271
00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,563
Look for me,
I'll be the guy in the awesome suit.
272
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,296
I mean, come on, Lily,
it's what you've always wanted.
273
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,838
Yeah, but there's a lot of things
I've always wanted
274
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:02,669
and I haven't done any of them.
275
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:08,446
I'm sorry. I just need to do this
before settling down forever.
276
00:14:08,814 --> 00:14:09,872
So now we've gone
277
00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:12,712
from "I was never gonna do it"
to "I need to do this."
278
00:14:12,818 --> 00:14:14,843
Did I leave the room at some point?
When did that happen?
279
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:16,888
Oh, maybe when you said
you wouldn't let me do it.
280
00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:18,456
I never said that!
281
00:14:18,557 --> 00:14:20,286
You know, if you're having
these kind of doubts now,
282
00:14:20,392 --> 00:14:21,620
what's gonna change in three months?
283
00:14:21,727 --> 00:14:22,819
Maybe we just shouldn't get married
at all.
284
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:24,953
Maybe not.
285
00:14:27,099 --> 00:14:28,566
- Pause.
- Pause.
286
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:31,726
- So are you just like starving?
- Totally.
287
00:14:31,837 --> 00:14:32,895
Red Lobster?
288
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,100
Oh, lobster, lobster, lobster,
you are delicious.
289
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:40,838
Oh, God, I love butter sauce.
There's nothing bad about it.
290
00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:43,312
Say something bad about butter sauce,
I dare you.
291
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:44,973
I wouldn't dare.
292
00:14:45,684 --> 00:14:47,151
Marshall, no.
293
00:14:47,419 --> 00:14:51,048
We're on pause.
There's no crying in pause land.
294
00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:52,953
Pause land is a magical place
295
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:56,289
with popcorn shrimp mounds
and butter sauce rivers.
296
00:14:57,997 --> 00:14:59,225
Damn it!
297
00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:15,474
Ted, this is funny.
298
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,647
Still funny.
299
00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:20,985
Still... And now it's sad.
300
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:25,085
Hey, Penelope,
you sure I'm doing this right?
301
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:26,555
I think so.
302
00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:30,093
Does it look anything
like a real rain dance?
303
00:15:30,362 --> 00:15:31,727
I think so.
304
00:15:32,364 --> 00:15:37,131
Hey, Penelope, have you ever actually seen
a rain dance performed?
305
00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:39,094
No.
306
00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:43,674
- No?
- I've read extensively on the subject.
307
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,336
First-hand accounts,
theoretical criticisms, anthropological...
308
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,936
Have you ever seen a rain dance?
309
00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:51,914
I've seen a film strip.
310
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:53,945
Terrific. Look, I should run.
311
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:56,954
I'm getting brain surgery from some guy
who's seen a couple episodes of ER,
312
00:15:57,856 --> 00:15:59,153
I can't believe this.
313
00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:02,227
We've been up here for the past hour
making complete asses of ourselves.
314
00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:04,057
What do you mean "we," white man?
315
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,829
How did we get here?
316
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,235
A couple of days ago,
the biggest problem in my life was,
317
00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:16,433
"Did Ted eat the last pudding snack pack
in the fridge?"
318
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:19,477
- Think there's still one left.
- Dibs.
319
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,583
- Unpause?
- Unpause.
320
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:29,852
Look, I know this sucks.
321
00:16:30,422 --> 00:16:33,084
It's just something I'm going through.
322
00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:37,891
I'm not asking you to understand it.
I'm not asking you to be happy about it.
323
00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:40,395
I'm just asking you to support it.
324
00:16:43,202 --> 00:16:45,329
Look, I want to, Lily, okay?
325
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:49,032
I really do. But I just can't.
326
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,642
- Why not?
- Because you're scaring the hell out of me.
327
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,302
That's why not.
328
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,340
What if you decide to go be a painter,
329
00:16:55,447 --> 00:16:57,574
and then you realize
I don't fit into your life anymore,
330
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,844
and three months becomes forever?
331
00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:02,420
Can you promise me that
that's not gonna happen?
332
00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:04,821
- Marshall...
- 'Cause if you can't promise me that,
333
00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:06,049
we should just break up right now.
334
00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:07,386
I'm not gonna wait around
for three months
335
00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:08,892
just to have my heart ripped out.
336
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,460
Marshall, I love you.
337
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,626
Can you promise me that
that's not gonna happen?
338
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:19,833
- Pause.
- No, Lily, we cannot pause this anymore.
339
00:17:19,938 --> 00:17:21,701
Can you promise me that
that's not gonna happen?
340
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:24,298
- Pause!
- Why do you want me to pause?
341
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:29,178
That's just a great use
of the pause function, baby.
342
00:17:29,281 --> 00:17:30,578
Thank you.
343
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:35,114
(GRUNTING)
344
00:17:36,688 --> 00:17:39,953
Hey, Ted, what you doing?
345
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,526
A rain dance.
346
00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:46,297
Dude, that's not a rain dance.
That's a fat kid with a bee in his pants.
347
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:49,890
Look, I highly doubt the Great Spirit's
a stickler for choreography.
348
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,902
It's the thought that counts.
349
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:54,199
She's leaving in half an hour.
350
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,465
(WHOOSHING)
351
00:17:56,575 --> 00:18:00,238
Dude, these are your awesome years,
you're wasting them on this girl.
352
00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:03,109
- This isn't gonna work.
- Yeah. I know that.
353
00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:06,378
- Well, then why are you doing it?
- Because I love her.
354
00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:07,747
I love her!
355
00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:09,718
I told her that the first night we went out,
356
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:12,416
and here it is, eight months later,
and nothing's changed.
357
00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:15,118
So, yes, I know this isn't gonna work.
358
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,390
But it has to work!
359
00:18:17,996 --> 00:18:19,861
(YELLING) Do you hear me, universe?
360
00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:22,023
This is Ted Mosby talking!
361
00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:24,462
Give me some rain!
362
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:26,999
Come on!
363
00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:29,501
Come on!
364
00:18:30,742 --> 00:18:32,801
Come on!
365
00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:34,674
(THUNDER CLAPPING)
366
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:37,614
Oh, come on!
367
00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:43,682
(LAUGHING JUBILANTLY)
368
00:18:50,996 --> 00:18:53,988
Pushing the front
back into the tri-state area,
369
00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:56,624
and giving Manhattan
one of its worst storms
370
00:18:56,735 --> 00:18:58,134
in over a decade,
371
00:18:58,237 --> 00:19:00,228
How about that? He did it.
372
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:24,122
Robin. Hey, Robin.
373
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,766
Oh, thank God you're here.
374
00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:34,805
My camping trip got rained out.
375
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:36,568
I know. I'm sorry.
376
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:39,309
- It's not your fault.
- Yeah, it is.
377
00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:40,905
Come down here.
378
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,947
It's pouring. You come up.
379
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:44,845
No, you have to come down here.
380
00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:47,746
- Why?
- Why?
381
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,879
Because I made it rain.
That's what I did today.
382
00:19:50,989 --> 00:19:54,857
And that's enough.
I've done my part, now get down here!
383
00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:58,427
I'm not dressed, Ted. You come up.
384
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:00,862
I'm not coming up there, Robin, I'm not.
385
00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:03,059
You have to come down here.
386
00:20:22,187 --> 00:20:24,052
- I was gonna...
- I know.
387
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,703
OLDER TED; And that's how Robin and I
ended up together,
388
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:48,746
Turns out all I had to do was make it rain,
389
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:51,979
As I rode home the next morning,
the city looked the same,
390
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,985
the people looked the same,
it all looked the same,
391
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,452
But it wasn't,
392
00:20:56,555 --> 00:20:59,388
In just one night, everything had changed,
393
00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:04,792
(ALTERNA TIVE ROCKSONG
PLAYING)