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OLDER TED: Kids, the thing about
New Year's Eve is that it sucks.
2
00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:20,750
Sure it looks great on TV,
3
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,981
But in reality,
it's always just a big letdown,
4
00:00:23,089 --> 00:00:26,456
But in 2005,
I attempted to do the impossible;
5
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to give my friends a great New Year's Eve,
6
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I had an idea of how to do it, too,
7
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,730
and all it cost was
half my Christmas bonus,
8
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Yeah, that's right. A limo.
9
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:55,514
- ROBIN: Oh, man, Ted, this is great.
- Okay, people, let's talk strategy.
10
00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:58,783
Last New Year's,
we went our separate ways, and it sucked.
11
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This year, we party together, or not at all.
12
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Now, I sifted through
your party submissions,
13
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- and I narrowed them down to these five.
- Question.
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Yes, Barney,
your submissions were received,
15
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and no, we will not be attending
any parties in your pants.
16
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(ALL EXCLAIM)
17
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But you enjoyed the e-vite, right?
That was an actual picture of my pants.
18
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Yeah.
19
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We will hit all five parties before midnight,
20
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and then narrow them down to one,
21
00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:23,044
the most awesome party
in New York City,
22
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and that is where we will ring,
nay, rock in the new year.
23
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All right, and party number one,
that's where we get to meet Marybeth?
24
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- Marybeth?
- Oh, she works in my office.
25
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She seems like she might be into me.
26
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She's always finding reasons to hug me.
So tonight, we'll see...
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(CLEARING THROAT)
28
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People often ask me,
"Barney, how is it that you're so psyched
29
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- "so much of the time?"
- By who? Who asks you that?
30
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(LAUGHING)
31
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And the answer is right here.
32
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My own, personal, get-psyched mix.
33
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Now, people often think
a good mix should rise and fall,
34
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but people are wrong.
It should be all rise, baby.
35
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Now, prepare yourselves
for an audio journey
36
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into the white-hot center of adrenaline.
37
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Bam.
38
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(YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME
PLAYING ON STEREO)
39
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- It's working.
- I'm definitely getting psyched.
40
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God. I'm reaching dangerous
levels of psychage.
41
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Must do robot.
42
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- Let's do this!
- Yes! Let's!
43
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Oh, driver?
44
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Hello!
45
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:31,981
Hey, Ranjit!
46
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Dude, you're driving a limo now.
That's awesome.
47
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I've moved up in the world.
48
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How do you guys know each other?
49
00:02:38,858 --> 00:02:42,123
Oh, we rode in his cab one time.
It's a long story.
50
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:43,352
Hey, what are we waiting for?
51
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:45,658
We got five parties to hit,
and three hours to do it.
52
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Oh, I wish I could come with you guys,
53
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,135
but Derek should be coming by
any minute to pick me up.
54
00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:53,763
OLDER TED; Oh, yeah, Robin was spending
New Year's with her boyfriend Derek,
55
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:58,007
Derek, He was, like, rich,
successful, handsome,
56
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I hated that guy,
57
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Oh, I'll miss you guys. Have fun.
58
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- ROBIN: Bye.
- Happy New Year.
59
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- Bye.
- Here we go.
60
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- Oh, this kind of sucks.
- Okay, nobody get down.
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We knew this going in.
We're a man down.
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That just means were gonna have to party
that much harder.
63
00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:18,989
Ranjit. Party number one.
64
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- Party number one!
- Party number one!
65
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I can't believe we're leaving a party
that had pigs in blankets.
66
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If you think we can beat that,
you got some brass ones.
67
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Hey, we've got four more parties to hit.
68
00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:37,815
If party number one turns out to be
the best, we'll just limo on back to it.
69
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:41,511
We didn't really get a chance to meet.
I'm Lily, and this is my fiancé, Marshall.
70
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Hi. Marybeth.
It's so great to meet you guys.
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- Oh, well, my word.
- Oh, hey. Well, you're friendly.
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(NATALYA LAUGHING)
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(IN RUSSIAN ACCENT)
Hello, American party friends of Barney's.
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00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,402
- Oh, no.
- So, Barney, who's your new friend?
75
00:03:59,505 --> 00:04:03,305
- Natalya.
- Oh, friendly.
76
00:04:04,677 --> 00:04:07,510
- So, where are you from, Natalya?
- She... Who knows?
77
00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:10,777
The former
Soviet Republic of Drunk-off-her-ass-istan?
78
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Super drunk fantastic, huh?
79
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(MUMBLING)
80
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Isn't she awesome?
81
00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:20,220
- How are your feet doing, baby?
- Oh, okay.
82
00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:24,194
I love these shoes, but
the pain-to-hotness ratio is pretty steep.
83
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:26,595
Can we swing by the apartment
so I can change?
84
00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:28,496
Come on, Lily.
We have a tightly scheduled evening
85
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:31,695
of awesomeness ahead of us.
I need you to power through the pain.
86
00:04:31,804 --> 00:04:35,035
Okay, Ted, but these dogs
are really barking.
87
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:38,139
It's true. I can hear them.
What's that, little boys? What's that?
88
00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:40,178
You wanna go for a rock?
89
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:42,875
(YELLING)
90
00:04:42,982 --> 00:04:47,385
- Ranjit, party number two!
- Party number two!
91
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(ALL CHEERING)
92
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,623
- Party number two, not so good.
- No, let's go back to party number one.
93
00:04:57,730 --> 00:05:01,564
TED: No, no turning back.
Ranjit, party number three.
94
00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:03,863
- Party number three!
- Yeah!
95
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:07,902
Oh, wait, wait, wait!
We have to turn around. We left Natalya.
96
00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:12,100
- Barney, none of us really liked her.
- What?
97
00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:15,442
- Sorry.
- Oh, very nice, Lily.
98
00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:18,073
You know, she is a guest in this country.
99
00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:20,879
So, while you may choose
to turn your back on her,
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00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:24,150
I choose to turn my front on her. What up.
101
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:29,425
- I'm sorry about Barney.
- No, I'm having a great time.
102
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I'm really glad
that you asked me out tonight.
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Me, too. Just a sec.
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00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,567
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
105
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:41,607
- Hey, Robin.
- Ted, Derek stood me up.
106
00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:45,271
OLDER TED; Derek, Now we had
a tight schedule to keep that night,
107
00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:48,347
and I was already on a date
with another girl,
108
00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:49,846
But it was Robin,
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Ranjit, turn it around.
110
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Hi. Oh, God, I am so sorry about this.
111
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:06,626
You guys had your schedule,
and I screwed it all up.
112
00:06:06,799 --> 00:06:09,962
No. This is perfect. It's meant to be.
We're all back together.
113
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:11,459
What happened?
114
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:14,404
Oh, Derek's stuck in Connecticut
closing some deal.
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00:06:14,507 --> 00:06:16,168
Who works on New Year's Eve?
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00:06:16,342 --> 00:06:17,775
(COUGHING)
117
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Okay, now I feel worse.
118
00:06:20,646 --> 00:06:24,480
I was really looking forward to this night.
This sucks.
119
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- Oh, dude, not now!
- What? She needs to get psyched!
120
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- Barney!
- Fine.
121
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Maybe I should just go home.
122
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Barney!
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My finger slipped.
124
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Look, Robin. You're not going home.
Come on, it's New Year's Eve.
125
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Look, so your date fell through, so what?
What do you need a date for?
126
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Someone to kiss at midnight? Fine.
I'll kiss you at a little bit after midnight.
127
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- Hi, I'm Robin.
- Marybeth.
128
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:57,683
Oh, wow, you're friendly.
129
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:01,549
I haven't eaten dinner yet.
Is there anything to eat in this thing?
130
00:07:01,654 --> 00:07:03,178
That's it. I know what you're jonesing for.
131
00:07:03,289 --> 00:07:07,988
- Ranjit, take us to Gray's Papaya.
- Oh, yes, Ted, you rock.
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(STAMMERING) We couldn't
go back for Natalya, a human being,
133
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- but we do have time for hot dogs?
- Yeah, we like hot dogs.
134
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:17,560
No. No! We are already behind schedule.
135
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:19,900
Ted, come on, we have
an hour-and-a-half before midnight,
136
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:24,500
- and I don't wanna be kissing Ranjit.
- You don't know what you're missing.
137
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:28,847
- Come on. It's only a 20-minute detour.
- Which is exactly how much time I need.
138
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:31,644
- Ranjit, stop the car.
- Stopping the car.
139
00:07:31,984 --> 00:07:34,976
- Wait, baby, what are you doing?
- No, I'm going home.
140
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- What? No!
- No, you can't, Lily!
141
00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:39,255
I can't stay in these heels any longer,
I just can't.
142
00:07:39,358 --> 00:07:40,757
There's a cab over there,
143
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I'll just run back to the apartment
and change shoes.
144
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:44,495
But hot dogs.
145
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:47,828
Oh, I know, baby, I'd love to go,
but it's two against one.
146
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- Okay, I'll go with you.
- No, baby.
147
00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:54,768
Baby, you go with them,
and I'll meet you at party number three.
148
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:57,637
- Are you sure?
- Lf I don't see you, Happy New...
149
00:07:57,743 --> 00:08:00,906
Don't say that. We'll find each other.
150
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:05,950
- We'll find each other.
- I know we will.
151
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:08,744
MARSHALL: Bye, Lil.
152
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,152
- Bye.
- Bye.
153
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,314
Hell of a woman.
154
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:17,494
Let's go get some hot dogs!
155
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:26,134
- Ranjit, party number three.
- Party number three.
156
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:30,107
- Oh yeah!
- Look at us, riding around in a limo,
157
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:32,870
eating hot dogs.
It's like we're the President.
158
00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:37,343
- Hey, I bet you're feeling better now.
- Oh, so much better.
159
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,748
Guys, is that Moby?
160
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,612
I think that that's Moby.
161
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,984
OLDER TED; Now, kids, Moby was
a popular recording artist
162
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,389
when I was young,
163
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:51,460
- No way.
- That's totally Moby. That's awesome.
164
00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:54,089
Should I say something?
I should say something, right?
165
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,168
TED: Moby. Hey, Moby!
166
00:08:57,503 --> 00:09:00,495
Oh, my God, he's coming over.
Everybody be cool. Everybody be cool.
167
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:02,972
- Hey.
- Hello.
168
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,769
What's up? You going somewhere?
169
00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:09,013
Yeah, I'm just going
to this party downtown.
170
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,141
You want a ride?
171
00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:14,011
Sure.
172
00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:19,549
Welcome.
173
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,159
(GIGGLING)
174
00:09:22,261 --> 00:09:25,458
- Wow. You're friendly.
- Big fan.
175
00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:27,155
I'm Barney Stinson.
176
00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:30,261
So, what about this party?
177
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:33,437
Oh, it's just a New Year's thing
with some friends.
178
00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:35,507
Wow. That sounds awesome.
179
00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:42,047
- You guys wanna come?
- Yeah, we'd love to.
180
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:44,346
- All right.
- Ted.
181
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:48,418
- Sidebar.
- Moby, switch up, will you?
182
00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:54,590
Yeah, what's up?
183
00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:57,618
- What about Lily?
- Call her.
184
00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,595
I've been trying to call her.
I can't get through.
185
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:01,997
- All the circuits are jammed.
- That's New Year's Eve for you.
186
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:04,729
Well, look, we'll just swing by
Moby's party, and then, afterwards...
187
00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:08,273
No, I can't. Lily's waiting. I gotta find her.
188
00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:13,838
- Okay, I'll meet you at party number three.
- But... Come on. Moby's party.
189
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:17,211
Moby's party. Moby's...
190
00:10:19,218 --> 00:10:23,120
- Ranjit, Moby's party.
- Moby's party.
191
00:10:26,859 --> 00:10:28,554
This is a cool mix.
192
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:32,055
You know, people think
a great mix has to rise and fall.
193
00:10:32,164 --> 00:10:35,691
- I think it should be all rise.
- Yes. Moby.
194
00:10:36,035 --> 00:10:39,835
Yeah, it should start high, get higher.
This mix is my pride and joy.
195
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:44,205
- I never leave home without it.
- That's how I feel about Janice here.
196
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:53,474
So, then I said, your motorcycle
was like that when I got here.
197
00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:55,186
(GIGGLING)
198
00:11:00,626 --> 00:11:03,652
- You're not Moby, are you?
- Who?
199
00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:09,124
- Moby. The recording artist, Moby.
- No.
200
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:13,262
But when we said, "Hey, Moby,"
you said, "Yeah."
201
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:15,500
I thought you said, "Tony."
202
00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:19,102
- So, your name is Tony?
- No.
203
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:25,214
Oh, hey, we're here. All right.
You guys gonna come in?
204
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,350
- No.
- You sure?
205
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:32,622
Come on, it's gonna get nuts in there.
It's this dude who owes me money.
206
00:11:33,826 --> 00:11:36,294
No, we're good. We're good.
207
00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:38,453
Happy New Year, Not Moby.
208
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:46,297
Oh, hey, hey. Be safe.
209
00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:49,867
(EXHALES)
210
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,837
- Why did we think that guy was Moby?
- I don't know.
211
00:11:52,945 --> 00:11:56,608
I see a short, bald hipster,
my mind goes straight to Moby.
212
00:11:56,782 --> 00:11:58,545
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
213
00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:02,314
That's Marshall's phone.
214
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:03,455
Hey...
215
00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:09,457
- (IN DEEP VOICE) Hello.
- Oh, Marshall. Thank God I got through!
216
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:13,221
- Hey, sexy.
- Barney, where's Marshall?
217
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,227
He left his phone in the limo.
He's out looking for you.
218
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:18,929
- What? Where?
- Party number three.
219
00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:21,765
Well, I'm here at party number three and...
220
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:25,176
Oh, my God,
guess who just walked in? Moby.
221
00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:27,370
Moby? She's upstairs.
222
00:12:28,547 --> 00:12:31,880
Lily, you have to get out of there
this instant. That's not Moby!
223
00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:36,353
Oh, no, I know Moby, and that's...
Does he have a gun?
224
00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:37,714
Run!
225
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:42,455
Oh, my God.
Not Moby's party is party number four.
226
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,654
What are the odds?
227
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,420
(GASPING FRANTICALLY)
228
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:48,155
Who was that guy?
229
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,167
Well, we know it's not Moby,
and it's not Tony.
230
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,396
- Ranjit! Drive!
- Where to?
231
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:53,995
- Party number three!
- Party number three!
232
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,801
Party number three.
233
00:12:57,409 --> 00:12:59,570
No, but I was just at party number three.
234
00:12:59,678 --> 00:13:03,170
No, no, no. You were at party number four.
You must have looked at the list wrong.
235
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,046
Well, after that
rather unpsyching experience,
236
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:08,143
you know what it's time for?
237
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:11,985
It's time to, what? That's right. Re-psych.
238
00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:15,816
Re...
239
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:19,161
Where's the...
240
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:26,060
Oh, my God, Not Moby took my
get-psyched mix!
241
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:30,473
Barney, Barney, what the hell!
Barney, it's not worth it. Let it go.
242
00:13:30,709 --> 00:13:33,007
We need to get back on schedule.
243
00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:34,101
(TIRE BURSTING)
244
00:13:34,213 --> 00:13:35,771
Oh, nuts.
245
00:13:41,787 --> 00:13:44,017
Ranjit, you sure I can't help?
246
00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:49,857
No. I am pissed.
Ted, I don't want you to see me pissed.
247
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,062
Okay.
248
00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:57,057
Okay, not a problem.
He'll jack it up, slap on a tire,
249
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,660
we'll be at party number three in no time.
250
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:02,866
I wish Marshall would call.
Guess the circuits are jammed.
251
00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:04,704
Yeah, you know
why all the circuits are jammed?
252
00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:07,745
'Cause everyone's calling their loved ones.
Everyone around the world.
253
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,712
Everyone except Barney.
254
00:14:10,282 --> 00:14:11,613
(ROBIN LAUGHING)
255
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:15,748
Oh, sure. Laugh. Laugh for Barney Stinson.
256
00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:17,813
Laugh for the sad clown
257
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:22,257
trapped on his whirling carousel of suits,
and cigars,
258
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:26,127
and bimbos, and booze.
Round and round it goes.
259
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:29,424
And where's it all heading? Nowhere.
260
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:34,002
Is this just 'cause
you lost your get-psyched mix?
261
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,831
I'm sorry.
Am I not allowed to have a pensive side?
262
00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:41,675
No. No, not tonight. Not in the limo.
We gotta stay psyched.
263
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:46,444
Ted went to a lot of trouble
to make this an awesome New Year's.
264
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:52,184
(SINGING YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME)
265
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,162
(RANJIT SINGING)
266
00:15:00,799 --> 00:15:02,323
I'm gonna get some air.
267
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,744
It'll be fine, we'll be out of here in a jiff.
268
00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:16,007
Ted, I'm gonna head out.
269
00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:18,413
My roommates are having a party
not far from here.
270
00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:19,609
What? No!
271
00:15:19,718 --> 00:15:22,050
Look, I know this night isn't turning out
the way I planned, but we...
272
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:24,384
How long have you been in love
with Robin?
273
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:29,591
I'm not in love... We're just friends.
Where are you getting that from?
274
00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:32,425
Ted, it's okay. I'm fine.
275
00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:37,268
- And I can tell that she's into you, too.
- That's ridiculous.
276
00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:41,772
- Wait, really?
- Happy New Year, Ted.
277
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:02,525
I can't believe
Marybeth left before midnight.
278
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,994
Oh, she just had to make an appearance
at this other party.
279
00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:06,462
It's no big deal.
280
00:16:06,565 --> 00:16:09,261
The first time I rode in a limo, I was five.
281
00:16:09,368 --> 00:16:12,269
I was on the way
to my grandfather's funeral.
282
00:16:12,504 --> 00:16:14,802
I suppose, in a way, I still am.
283
00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:19,405
Okay, wow, it's getting weird in here.
I'm gonna call Marshall.
284
00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:22,412
- But he left his phone.
- Marshall!
285
00:16:23,615 --> 00:16:25,378
Marshall!
286
00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:29,148
- I'm sorry about your girl.
- Sorry about your guy.
287
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:32,852
Well, at least we both have someone
to kiss at midnight.
288
00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:37,589
Did you forget about our little deal?
Because I did not.
289
00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:40,922
I did not, too.
290
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,697
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
291
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:48,331
Derek. Hi, how's work?
292
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,032
Give you some privacy.
293
00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:51,904
LILY: Marshall!
294
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:56,146
- Hey.
- Hey.
295
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,382
- Hey.
- Hey.
296
00:17:05,324 --> 00:17:07,053
Marshall!
297
00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:08,250
Okay, how's this for a plan?
298
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,590
We start walking now,
we get to party number three by 12:45,
299
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,596
we celebrate the new year
in Central Standard time.
300
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:13,824
Marshall!
301
00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:16,127
- Give it a rest, Ted.
- Give what a rest?
302
00:17:16,235 --> 00:17:18,760
Trying to turn this night
into anything more than what it is,
303
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,031
which is New Year's Eve,
304
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:23,700
which is the single biggest letdown
of a night, every single year.
305
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,306
- Marshall!
- Come on! Come on,
306
00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:28,880
we can still turn this thing around.
We've still got 10 minutes.
307
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:32,678
Stop trying to chase down
some magical, perfect New Year's, Ted.
308
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,412
It doesn't exist.
309
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:38,980
- Marshall!
- MARSHALL: Lily!
310
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,988
- Holy crap.
- Marshall!
311
00:17:44,096 --> 00:17:45,688
(MARSHALL YELLING)
312
00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:54,697
I knew I'd catch up
with you guys eventually.
313
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:58,402
So much to tell. I couldn't find Lily
at party number three, so I walked.
314
00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:00,137
I walked to the next party on the list.
315
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:02,236
- Not Moby's party?
- Yes, Moby's party.
316
00:18:02,347 --> 00:18:03,644
Check it out, he signed my shirt.
317
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:09,348
And guess what I found?
318
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:13,255
Yeah, I heard it playing at the party,
so I swiped it.
319
00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:16,122
- I know. I know. Come on.
- Come on.
320
00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:17,456
Marshall.
321
00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:23,328
Baby, baby. I was so worried about you.
Why didn't you call me?
322
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:26,404
I tried, baby, all the circuits are jammed.
But, wait, there's more.
323
00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:29,303
After party number four, I figured
you guys went to party number five.
324
00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:32,377
And so I went there, too,
and it is awesome!
325
00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:34,776
I wanna cry. It is so awesome.
326
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,440
- We have to go there.
- How? We'll never get a cab.
327
00:18:37,549 --> 00:18:39,141
The flat's fixed.
328
00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:43,918
Let's do this! Come on! In! Go, go, go!
329
00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:45,617
- Go, go, go!
- Natalya?
330
00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:48,192
Yeah, it turns out she was asleep
in the front seat the whole time.
331
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,784
- Ranjit, why didn't you tell me?
- I didn't want to wake her.
332
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,193
She looked so peaceful.
333
00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:55,459
Party number five is 20 blocks away
and all the way across town.
334
00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:57,330
Ranjit, can you get us there
in eight minutes?
335
00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:58,801
I'll get you there in six.
336
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,173
(HORNS HONKING)
337
00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:05,970
I don't think I can do it.
338
00:19:06,111 --> 00:19:07,271
- No, come on.
- No, come on.
339
00:19:07,379 --> 00:19:09,108
- Move, you stupid taxi!
- Move...
340
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:11,375
- Three minutes! Come on!
- Come on!
341
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:12,711
(CORK POPPING)
342
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,753
Ranjit, put her in park.
343
00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:17,322
(EXCLAIMS)
344
00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:20,357
Dudes, I'm sure
party number five is awesome.
345
00:19:20,692 --> 00:19:24,253
But it's not the best party in New York,
'cause this is.
346
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,425
Right here.
347
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:28,425
- Cheers. Well said.
- LILY: Cheers.
348
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:30,058
- ROBIN: Cheers.
- Cheers.
349
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:33,661
OLDER TED; And just like that, we were
having the perfect New Year's Eve,
350
00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:38,471
Funny thing is, all night long
I'd been trying to chase something down
351
00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:41,011
that was right there in that limo,
352
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:42,547
(KNOCKING ON WINDOW)
353
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:47,282
Derek? Derek.
354
00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:51,054
- Hey.
- Hey. Come on in.
355
00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:54,785
Robin.
356
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:59,794
I cut my meeting short
because I wanted to see you at midnight.
357
00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:03,425
- I can't believe you made it.
- I made it, baby.
358
00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:09,004
I super love you, okay?
359
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,640
Here, you need a mint.
360
00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:13,974
ALL: Eight, seven,
361
00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:17,139
six, five, four,
362
00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:20,013
three, two, one!
363
00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:21,107
Happy New Year!
364
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,815
OLDER TED; You probably wanna feel bad
for your old man at this point in the story,
365
00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:27,949
Well, don't,
Not every night has a happy ending,
366
00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:31,624
But all of it's important,
All of it was leading somewhere,
367
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,488
Because suddenly, it was 2006,
368
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,896
And 2006 was a big one,
369
00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:39,161
Ted.
370
00:20:42,774 --> 00:20:45,208
What the hell, man?
I thought we had a deal.
371
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:51,808
What about your guy? It's midnight.
Go kiss him.
372
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:55,914
He kept me waiting.
I can keep him waiting.
373
00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:00,090
Well, a deal is a deal.
374
00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:13,928
Happy New Year.
375
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:17,431
Happy New Year.