1 00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:04,437 [***] 2 00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:08,508 Chris, how many times do I have to tell you 3 00:00:08,541 --> 00:00:10,810 to quit leaving this damn yo-yo on the floor? 4 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,645 What are you trying to do, kill me? 5 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,180 I forgot where I left it. 6 00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:16,082 Well, will you remember when I fall 7 00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:17,684 down the steps and break my neck? 8 00:00:17,717 --> 00:00:20,320 NARRATOR: Sometimes it felt like all my mother did 9 00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:22,155 was yell at everybody. [DOOR SLAMS] 10 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:23,390 Tonya, close the door! 11 00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:25,692 You trying to freeze the whole house? 12 00:00:25,725 --> 00:00:27,327 Drew, turn that mess down! 13 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,796 You trying to make everybody in the house go deaf? 14 00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:32,565 And get your feet off my table. 15 00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:33,700 Julius! 16 00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:35,268 Pick up your drawers! 17 00:00:35,301 --> 00:00:37,303 Do I have to do everything around here? 18 00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:41,274 NARRATOR: And when I say my mother yelled at everybody, I mean everybody. 19 00:00:41,307 --> 00:00:43,276 Rochelle, what did I tell me? 20 00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:45,178 Are you trying to drive me crazy? 21 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:46,579 NARRATOR: But there was one person 22 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:48,748 who always put my mother in a good mood. 23 00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,650 Daddy! 24 00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:53,520 NARRATOR: My mother loved her daddy, and we did too. 25 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,621 Oh, where's Mama? 26 00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:56,389 Oh, I left her at the hair dresser. 27 00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,158 Where are them grandkids of mine? 28 00:00:58,191 --> 00:00:59,793 Where they at? Hey! 29 00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:02,595 NARRATOR: My grandfather was a great storyteller. 30 00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,330 And he didn't think I was playing 31 00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:07,200 when I smacked him in the head with that brick. 32 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,468 Until this day, 33 00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:10,870 when I go in there, my food is free. 34 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,405 [ALL LAUGH] 35 00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:14,174 Oh, man, do you have any more good jokes? 36 00:01:14,207 --> 00:01:15,475 Do I got any more good jokes? 37 00:01:15,508 --> 00:01:17,577 Come on, now! Knock, knock. 38 00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:19,813 Who's there? Pass me them pork chops. 39 00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:21,348 Pass me them pork chops who? 40 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:23,283 No, pass me them pork chops right there. 41 00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,485 [ALL LAUGH] He got you! 42 00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:28,455 I ain't playing with you. 43 00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:30,357 What's the rest of the joke, Grandpa? 44 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:32,192 Ooh! Okay, knock, knock. 45 00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:33,259 Who's there? 46 00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:35,161 Oh, Lordy. 47 00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:38,598 Oh, Lordy who? [ALL LAUGHING] 48 00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:40,700 I'm dying. 49 00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:41,901 I'm dying who? 50 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:46,773 I'm...having a heart... 51 00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:48,208 You're having a heart who? 52 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:50,944 Daddy? [ALL LAUGHING] 53 00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:52,412 ROCHELLE Daddy. 54 00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:54,914 Daddy? 55 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,784 NARRATOR: I never did find out who was there. 56 00:01:57,817 --> 00:01:59,753 [***] 57 00:02:05,558 --> 00:02:08,728 * Aw, make it funky now 58 00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:35,522 NARRATOR: My grandfather passing away was the first time 59 00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,824 I had to deal with a death in the family. 60 00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:39,426 I didn't know how to react, 61 00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:41,261 and I guess my mother didn't, either, 62 00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:42,796 because instead of doing this... 63 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:45,665 Damn. Damn. Damn! 64 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,434 [CRYING] 65 00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:48,868 NARRATOR: ...she did this... 66 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,603 Good morning, everybody. 67 00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:52,839 NARRATOR: I hadn't seen my mother that happy 68 00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:54,407 since Lionel Richie went solo. 69 00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:56,409 I can't believe Gene is gone. 70 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,545 I can't believe he never finished that joke. 71 00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:00,480 I'm never eating pork chops again. 72 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,582 I can't believe he died sitting right here. 73 00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:05,418 Everybody has to die someplace. 74 00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:06,920 Now eat your eggs. 75 00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,488 TONYA: I hate eggs. 76 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:10,290 Can I have some toast? 77 00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:12,559 Sure, Tonya. No problem. 78 00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:15,362 Hey, Mom, uh, do I have to go to school today? 79 00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:16,830 NARRATOR: Usually, the only death 80 00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,299 that could keep us out of school was our own. 81 00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:21,334 Not if you don't want to. Cool. 82 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,837 Chris, do you want to stay home from school today? 83 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,505 No, I have a quiz. 84 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,340 Oh. 85 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,442 Can I stay home too? Sure. 86 00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:31,344 NARRATOR: I didn't know what was wrong 87 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,846 with my mother, but at that moment, 88 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,281 all I could think of doing was this... 89 00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:38,618 Snap out of it, woman! 90 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:44,724 Well, everybody have a nice day. 91 00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,626 [HUMMING] 92 00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,831 That was weird. 93 00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:54,000 Man, your grandfather died? 94 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,301 That's rough. 95 00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:57,070 I had a parakeet that died once. 96 00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:58,405 I cried for three weeks. 97 00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,807 My mom is acting really strange. 98 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,075 You mean strange like... 99 00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:04,611 There's a TV in my head! 100 00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:05,945 Oh! Ow! 101 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,481 Please, just make it stop! 102 00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:11,951 NARRATOR: Even the crackheads would be scared of that. 103 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,087 No. 104 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,690 She's just really nice. 105 00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:19,926 [BELL RINGS] 106 00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:22,362 So were you guys close? Yeah. 107 00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:25,598 Chris, why don't you stand up and tell the rest of the class 108 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:28,435 what you're discussing with Gregory. 109 00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:31,938 My grandfather died. Chris, that's not funny. 110 00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:34,507 What are you gonna do when your grandfather dies for real? 111 00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:36,476 Just because you didn't study for a test 112 00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:38,712 doesn't mean you can go killing off your family. 113 00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:40,714 Who's next? Your father, your mother? 114 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:43,083 Why don't you kill your sister or your brother? 115 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,851 He's telling the truth. 116 00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:46,086 [***] 117 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,787 Oh. 118 00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:49,956 Oh, Chris... 119 00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:52,659 Wait...you believe him? 120 00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:54,527 Of course. And not me? 121 00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:56,696 Well, Chris, your grandfather died. 122 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,531 You might say anything. 123 00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,767 What are you even doing here? Bring me your paper. 124 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,802 Don't worry about the test. 125 00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:05,739 You're excused. 126 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,808 NARRATOR: In honor of my grandfather, 127 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,877 I should have hit her with a brick. 128 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,415 Hi, Mama. You look good. 129 00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:17,817 NARRATOR: And that's my grandmother, Maxine. 130 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:21,454 She was the only woman who could out-snob my mother. 131 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,556 Your hair smells funny. 132 00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,792 Are you still using that cheap perm? 133 00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:28,094 Dark and Lovely, hmm? 134 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,163 Look at mine. It's beautiful. 135 00:05:30,196 --> 00:05:32,132 It's beautiful, isn't it? 136 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,035 Good to see you too, Mama. 137 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:38,405 NARRATOR: That's my Aunt Charlotte, but we called her Grievey, 138 00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:40,006 because we only saw her at funerals. 139 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,842 No birthdays, no weddings. Just funerals. 140 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:45,745 Girl, I haven't seen you since Cheryl's funeral. 141 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,714 [SOBBING] 142 00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:49,649 I know, I know, I know... 143 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,551 Grievey, stop crying. Come on. 144 00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:53,119 Okay, okay, let me go. 145 00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,120 Grievey! 146 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,555 Come on, come on. 147 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,491 Come on. 148 00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,993 NARRATOR: That's Aunt Mousey. 149 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,562 We called her that because she talked like a mouse 150 00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:04,798 and she only spoke when spoken directly to. 151 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,966 Hi, Aunt Mousey. 152 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,034 How you doing? 153 00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:10,003 Fine. Huh? 154 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:13,473 NARRATOR: My Uncle Michael was almost 40 and never had a job. 155 00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:15,141 He put the "um" in "bum." 156 00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,210 Hey, sis, how you doing? 157 00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:19,479 Good. Y'all got something to eat? 158 00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:21,014 Yeah, we just-- 159 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,216 NARRATOR: I think he saw a job chasing him. 160 00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:24,684 Hey, Shaft. 161 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,687 That's too bad about your grandpa. 162 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,822 Sorry. 163 00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,056 Really? 164 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:31,658 Yeah. I mean... 165 00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:33,960 who's going to teach you how to tap dance now? 166 00:06:33,993 --> 00:06:38,598 NARRATOR: Later that day, he beat up a Chinese kid in my honor. 167 00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:39,799 Oh, here you are. 168 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,868 Hey, everybody. Hey, everybody. 169 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,236 Good to see you. 170 00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:44,804 I'm going to, uh, take 171 00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:47,140 Michael and Charlotte upstairs to get situated. 172 00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:49,009 Are you okay, Mousey? Fine. 173 00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,677 Okay. 174 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:53,546 Um, come on, upstairs, follow me. 175 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,782 Julius, shouldn't you be at work already? 176 00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:57,217 Hey, you know, I'm on my way. 177 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,651 Oh. 178 00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:00,220 I just came by to say hi real quick. 179 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,554 How are you? 180 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:02,922 Well as can be expected. 181 00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,658 You know, Gene and I were married for 40 years. 182 00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,927 I hope Rochelle and me make it that far. 183 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,562 The way she keeps this house, 184 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,231 I'm surprised you haven't left already. 185 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,967 NARRATOR: My grandmother always criticized everything 186 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,503 my mother did. Mama, you like my coat? 187 00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:17,637 It's all leather. 188 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,573 Oh...feels rubbery. 189 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,942 Feel mine. 190 00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:25,512 Italian leather. 191 00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:27,814 NARRATOR: At home, even though my mother seemed 192 00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:30,850 to be keeping it together, the house was falling apart. 193 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,919 Rochelle, can you change the channel? 194 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,789 Sure, no problem. 195 00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:39,125 NARRATOR: They were treating her like she was me! 196 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,861 Rochelle, you going to help me pick out this casket, 197 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,596 or do I have to do it by myself? 198 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,532 Sure, Mama, I'll help you in a minute. 199 00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:47,534 Oh, Chellie, get me a glass of iced tea. 200 00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:48,668 Sure, Mama. 201 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,272 [SNIFFLING] 202 00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:57,277 Tea for Mom...turtles. 203 00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,580 [OBJECT THUDS] 204 00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:02,682 Damn it! What? 205 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,852 NARRATOR: You ever had the feeling you're about to get smacked 206 00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:07,620 upside the head with a yo-yo? 207 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,556 Here, baby. Be more careful. 208 00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:11,257 You're not mad? 209 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,727 No. Why would I be mad? 210 00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,296 Here, Mama. 211 00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:21,301 Ooh! 212 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,069 This tea tastes funny. 213 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:24,637 What kind is it? 214 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:25,739 I think it's Lipton. 215 00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,274 Mm-mm, tastes like Nestea. 216 00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,110 It's Lipton. 217 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,578 [***] 218 00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:32,712 Ick. 219 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,016 Hey. 220 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,684 Hey. 221 00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:39,019 Want a turtle? 222 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,021 NARRATOR: My mother offering me a turtle? 223 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,790 In her world, that's a cry for help. 224 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,925 Mm, no thanks. 225 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,627 Mm. 226 00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:50,030 You okay, Ma? 227 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,664 I'm fine. 228 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,900 You sure you don't want a turtle? 229 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:57,303 [***] 230 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,072 Mmm... 231 00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,674 What was that for? 232 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,642 I just wanted to let you know that I love you. 233 00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:05,111 NARRATOR: Since my father was working extra hours 234 00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,013 and my mother wasn't being herself, 235 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:10,817 I decided to pick up the slack the best way I knew how. 236 00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:13,620 Tonya, you go make up your bed. 237 00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:14,921 Drew, you clean up in here. 238 00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:17,624 Sitting in here playing cards... 239 00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:20,660 NARRATOR: This was gonna be harder than I thought. 240 00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,062 [***] 241 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,329 Turn that mess down! 242 00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:25,799 You trying to make everyone in the house deaf? 243 00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:28,635 Take your feet off the table. 244 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,905 Rochelle, tomorrow, we're going 245 00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:34,207 to the funeral home to pick out a casket. 246 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,809 Please dress presentably. 247 00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:37,944 I don't want him to think that we can't afford 248 00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:39,346 a decent casket. Sure, Mama. 249 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,247 You okay, baby? You need to sit down? 250 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,049 Oh, no, I'm fine. 251 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,317 NARRATOR: As bad as she felt, I didn't know 252 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:45,952 it was about to get worse. 253 00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:47,420 Mm! 254 00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:48,955 Rochelle, can't you make 255 00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:50,890 a decent glass of iced tea? 256 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,425 Well, can't you leave her alone? 257 00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:53,927 It's iced tea! 258 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,096 If you're thirsty, well, then you drink it! 259 00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,664 If you're not, don't! 260 00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:59,866 NARRATOR: I might be joining my grandfather 261 00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:02,068 sooner than I thought. Are you gonna sit there 262 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,970 and let that boy talk to me like that? 263 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,805 Boy, don't you know I'll knock you 264 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,240 into another family? 265 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,709 Who are you? 266 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,378 You don't want to know. 267 00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:16,049 * Everybody hates Chris 268 00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,391 Hey, man. 269 00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:25,959 Hey. 270 00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:27,227 Chris... 271 00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,730 you know you're going to have to apologize to your grandmother. 272 00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,999 How come? She's the one who's been mean to Mom. 273 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:36,036 She's hurting, Chris, and your mother is too. 274 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,138 I know you're trying to protect your mother, 275 00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:41,441 but trust me, you do not want to get between the two of them. 276 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,476 You ain't gonna win that one. 277 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:45,078 I'm already going to one funeral. 278 00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:46,813 I ain't trying to go to another. 279 00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:48,882 Well, then what do I do? 280 00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:51,851 Do what I do: nothing. 281 00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:53,153 Things will work out. 282 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:54,754 All right? 283 00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,923 Apologize. 284 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,062 NARRATOR: You can't really believe 285 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,197 you're getting married until you buy that tux. 286 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,332 And you can't really believe somebody is dead 287 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:08,401 until you've got to buy them a casket. 288 00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:11,738 Now, we have several models. 289 00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:14,107 This one right over here, 290 00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:15,775 top of the line. 291 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,744 Made of mahogany, huh? 292 00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:20,280 Has silk lining 293 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,882 over goose-down bedding... 294 00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,751 and a night light. 295 00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:27,754 NARRATOR: I guess that's in case the dead want to read. 296 00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,489 Well, Mama, what about the blue one? 297 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,957 Oh, the blue one is nice. 298 00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:32,892 I don't like it. She don't like that one. 299 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,461 It's a coffin, not an Oldsmobile. 300 00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,329 I like that one. 301 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,430 Good taste. 302 00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:38,998 Uh, Maxine, 303 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,001 that costs a lot of money. 304 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,435 Now, we got payment plans. 305 00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:45,105 Well, can we put it in my father-in-law's name? 306 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,273 Well...no. 307 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,441 I didn't think so. 308 00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:49,809 Okay, Mama, 309 00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,544 whatever you want. Oh, okay. 310 00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,113 Um, Rochelle, 311 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,848 even if we split this five ways, 312 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,082 that's still a lot of money. 313 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:57,851 Who's talking about splitting it? 314 00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,053 Well, I just assumed we'd all chip in. 315 00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:01,821 I mean, it is your husband. 316 00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:03,823 Julius, I want to help out. 317 00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:05,992 What's this? It's a baseball card. 318 00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:08,228 Al Oliver. He played in Pittsburgh. 319 00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,163 Lifetime 330 hitter. 320 00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:13,333 That card is going to be worth thousands of dollars someday. 321 00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,534 How much is it worth now? 322 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,902 About a dollar. 323 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,938 I got $40 saved up. 324 00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:20,407 What about you, Aunt Mousey? 325 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,242 I have some quarters. 326 00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,844 NARRATOR: Too bad he won't be playing Asteroids. 327 00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,479 Mama, I just don't think 328 00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,548 that we can afford this right now. 329 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,083 Why not? 330 00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:32,085 Baby, you always bragging 331 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,421 about how your husband has two jobs. 332 00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,356 I do not. 333 00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,925 I do not need this. My man has two jobs. 334 00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,160 My husband has two jobs. 335 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:41,895 I don't need to be here right now. 336 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,831 I do not need this! My man has two jobs, okay? 337 00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:48,535 My husband deserves to be buried with dignity. 338 00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,937 Now, who are you to deny me that? 339 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:53,273 Mama, we're not trying to deny you-- 340 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:54,607 --dignity, I mean-- 341 00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,109 You only die once. 342 00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:57,977 [SOBBING] 343 00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:01,581 You owe it to your father to let him go in style. 344 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,084 Fine! Fine! 345 00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:07,554 You do whatever the hell you want. 346 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:08,988 Mama... Come on! 347 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,190 Mama, I wasn't trying-- 348 00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,524 MICHAEL: I'm coming, Mama. 349 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:14,227 Rochelle, you wrong. 350 00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,163 Poor baby. 351 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,932 [CLEARS THROAT] 352 00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,601 We'll take the blue one. 353 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,570 My daddy liked blue. 354 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,306 [***] 355 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,381 I always hated that picture. 356 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:36,349 It made me look like I got smacked 357 00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:38,385 in the head with a brick. 358 00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,487 Oh, hi, Daddy. 359 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,055 You want a turtle? 360 00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:45,325 No, but how you doing? 361 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,526 I'm okay. 362 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,429 Mama's getting on my last nerve. 363 00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,164 Oh, she can do that. 364 00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:53,299 She used to get on my nerves too. 365 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,135 You know, just because I'm dead 366 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,637 doesn't mean you have to let her push you around. 367 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,339 And if she tries to do that, 368 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,574 you smack her in the head with that brick. 369 00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,677 [CHUCKLING] 370 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:07,213 [SIGHS] 371 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,186 NARRATOR: By the day of the funeral, 372 00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:15,555 there was still one thing left to fight over: 373 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,590 who gets to ride in the limo. 374 00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:20,226 [SCREAMING] 375 00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:27,067 Who are you, and what are you doing in here? 376 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:30,337 Hey, I'm Monay, this is Aisha, and this is Tiki. 377 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,472 We saw the limo so we had to hop in it. 378 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:34,207 Where y'all about to go? 379 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,475 A funeral. 380 00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:37,644 Oh, I'm sorry. 381 00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:38,945 Who died? 382 00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:40,447 My husband. 383 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,948 Oh. 384 00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:45,352 Okay, well, when y'all get back, 385 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,088 and if y'all not taking the limo... 386 00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,622 can we take it to the club? 387 00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,624 Okay. 388 00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:52,992 [GIGGLES] 389 00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:58,298 NARRATOR: The only thing more crowded than a limo before the funeral 390 00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:00,567 is your house after the funeral. 391 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,102 Hey, what are you doing here? 392 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:04,137 My dad dropped me off to pay my respects. 393 00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,239 Thanks, man. He had to go to work. 394 00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:08,641 Mama! Come look! 395 00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:10,643 Chris has got a white friend. 396 00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,379 Michael, close your mouth. 397 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:15,115 Stop acting like you never seen a white person before. 398 00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:16,983 Hi, honey. You hungry? 399 00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,284 You want something to eat? 400 00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,285 Sure. 401 00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:21,021 Well, come on. 402 00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,355 No, thank you. 403 00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:24,557 How about a slinky? Would you like a slinky? 404 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,326 [ALL CHATTERING] 405 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,194 I left a whole load of sloppies 406 00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:29,596 in the kitchen for you guys. 407 00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,264 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 408 00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:34,467 Chris, I got a new video game at the store. 409 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,136 Okay. 410 00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,171 Next time someone dies, let me know. 411 00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:40,106 I'll get you a good deal on a casket. 412 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,409 Man, what is your problem? 413 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,511 Sorry about your grandfather, Chris. 414 00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,546 NARRATOR: The one good thing about losing a family member 415 00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,581 is that you get lots of sympathy. 416 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,150 What are you doing? 417 00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:51,718 My grandfather died. 418 00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,353 Just because your grandfather died 419 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:56,022 doesn't mean you can go around hugging people. 420 00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,093 Sorry about your grandfather. 421 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:03,163 NARRATOR: At least somebody was getting some sympathy. 422 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:07,067 Who is that? I don't know. 423 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,169 Hey, little dude from across the street, 424 00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:10,337 here you go, man. 425 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:11,471 What's this? 426 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,306 I robbed your grandfather a few times. 427 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:15,075 I didn't know you knew him. 428 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,080 [SIGHS] 429 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:22,082 My turtles. 430 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,118 [***] 431 00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:37,130 Who ate my turtles? 432 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,199 Oh, is that what you call them things? 433 00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:41,334 I ate them, but they was nasty. 434 00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,269 What's in those things, anyway? 435 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:46,606 If you didn't like them, why did you eat them? 436 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:48,341 Mama, I am sick of you. 437 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:51,277 Ever since you got here, you have not stopped complaining. 438 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,679 Just because Daddy is dead 439 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:55,181 does not mean that you can come into my house 440 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:56,516 and tell everybody what to do. 441 00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,651 Michael, get your feet off of my damn couch 442 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:01,221 before I slap the jam out of your toes. 443 00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,822 Aunt Grievey, stop all that crying. 444 00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,290 You cried on Easter. 445 00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:05,825 You cried on Halloween. 446 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:08,161 You cried on Flag Day. 447 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,096 Get some Kleenex, wipe your nose, 448 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,831 'cause it ain't that damn sad. 449 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,566 [SOBBING] 450 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,502 And hang up my phone! 451 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,836 And Aunt Mousey, 452 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,538 take off your coat 453 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,206 and speak up. 454 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,308 You're over there peeping and squeaking. 455 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,678 [IMITATES SQUEAKING] You sound like a damn rat. 456 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:25,879 Use your words! 457 00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:28,181 You're damn near 60 years old! 458 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,716 And, Mama, the next time you want 459 00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:33,787 to eat my turtles, the least you could do is like them. 460 00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,121 [DOOR SLAMS] 461 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:37,424 NARRATOR: She's back! 462 00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:41,194 [***] 463 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:42,762 Hey. 464 00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:43,863 Hey, baby. 465 00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,131 How you doing? 466 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,499 I'm fine. 467 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,401 I brought you your turtles. 468 00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:50,637 Yay, turtles. Thank you. 469 00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:53,239 I'm proud of you for standing up to your mother. 470 00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:55,342 You had me worried there for a minute. 471 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,409 Why? 472 00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:59,612 I thought you were about to smack her with a brick. 473 00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:01,514 [BOTH LAUGH] 474 00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,616 It's so good seeing you, girl. 475 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,151 You take care. 476 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,619 You owe me some Kleenex. 477 00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:08,388 See you later, thanks for all the chicken and things. 478 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:11,491 All right, and stay out of them pretzels. Bye. 479 00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:12,826 So... 480 00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:14,260 [SIGHS] 481 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,429 Did he say anything before he died? 482 00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:17,797 Who, Daddy? 483 00:18:17,831 --> 00:18:19,399 No, Martin Luther King. 484 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,302 Yes, your father. Did he mention me? 485 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:25,238 No, he just asked for more pork chops. 486 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,408 NARRATOR: I know what you're thinking: "She should have lied." 487 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,744 But actually, the truth was better. 488 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,212 Figures. 489 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:35,281 I liked the flowers. 490 00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:38,418 You liked them? I guess so. 491 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:41,454 NARRATOR: I know that doesn't seem like much of an apology 492 00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,289 after everything that's happened, 493 00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,458 but here's what she really meant to say... 494 00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:48,661 Baby, I am so proud of you. 495 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:49,929 I know. 496 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,798 You are doing a wonderful job. 497 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,266 I know! 498 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,335 I wish my no-good son would stand up for me 499 00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:57,537 the way your son stood up for you. I know! 500 00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:01,207 And your father-- Oh, he would be so proud of you. 501 00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:02,542 I know! 502 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,644 Well, Mama, why are you so damn mean? 503 00:19:04,678 --> 00:19:06,212 I don't know. 504 00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:08,915 And baby, your hair, it don't stink. 505 00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:10,817 I know. 506 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:13,253 See you around. 507 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,855 Take care, Mama. 508 00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:18,191 [***] 509 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,261 That's all of it. 510 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:22,929 Oh, thank you, baby. 511 00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:25,765 I'm really going to miss him, Mom. 512 00:19:25,799 --> 00:19:29,235 Me too, Chris. Me too. 513 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:34,240 Chris, get in here and pick up this yo-yo! 514 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,975 My father died, for goodness sake, 515 00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:38,478 and now you're trying to kill me too! 516 00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:44,751 * Everybody hates Chris 517 00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:48,521 [***] 518 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:53,393 * Aw, make it funky now