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[***]
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NARRATOR:
Of all the things in school
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that could affect
your life forever,
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making friends, taking tests,
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the one thing
that could really affect it
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was your school picture.
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If your picture looked good,
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everybody thought
you were cool,
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and every girl wanted one.
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I got one!
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Ladies, ladies, please.
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I'm signing as fast as I can.
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Chris only has one hand.
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NARRATOR:
When you took a bad picture, it
was like giving out subpoenas.
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Hey, I got some
yearbook pictures.
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Five by sevens,
five by sevens.
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Wallet size.
Hey, I'll frame it up for you.
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I will frame it up for you.
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NARRATOR:
So this year I had to prepare,
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and the first thing I had to do
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was find the right outfit.
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I really wanted to look good.
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The problem was, my mother
wanted me to look good too.
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Chris,
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I got your outfit
for picture day.
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NARRATOR:
Only thing missing
was a hat with a propeller.
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[***]
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* Aw, make it funky now
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Oh, Chris, you look sharp.
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I look stupid.
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How come I have to wear
Drew's old stuff?
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Oh, baby, I had to buy
Drew a new pair of pants
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and Tonya a new pair of shoes
for their school pictures.
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What's wrong?
You look fine.
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NARRATOR:
My father thought
any clothes were good clothes
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Well, that's 'cause
he didn't have matching socks
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till he was 29.
I look like an idiot.
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Baby, you do not look
like an idiot to me.
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NARRATOR:
That'd be great if I was two.
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Well, can I please
wear something else?
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Long as I don't
have to pay for it.
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Just find
something to wear
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and I'll take
a look at it, okay?
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I don't have
anything special.
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When I was a kid,
we didn't need special clothes.
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Just having clothes was special.
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NARRATOR:
The only way I was gonna get
my mother to spend money on me
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was if not doing it
would embarrass her.
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Mom, I'm the only black kid
in the whole school.
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They already think
I'm a crack baby.
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Wearing this sweater, they'll
probably think I'm on welfare.
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Who said we were on welfare?
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Be home from school
on time tomorrow.
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We're gonna
go shopping.
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I thought you said
we didn't have the money.
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Oh, I'll get it.
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Or they'll think
that we on welfare.
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NARRATOR:
If people thought
we were homeless,
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I could've got
some leather socks.
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When my mother couldn't get
any business to hire her,
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she would start
her own business from home.
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The secret to success
in selling Yvonne cosmetics
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is in attitude.
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Now, when I started
selling Yvonne,
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I was like
a lot of you.
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I was raising my kids,
doing housework
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and wondering
where I went wrong. But since,
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I've divorced my husband,
my kids moved in with my mother,
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and just last month
I won an award:
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the Yvonne yellow
Buick Riviera.
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Wait. So how can
we make money again?
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Well, you do like me.
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You sell your products
to women like yourself,
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then they sell them
to women like them.
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Now, isn't that
the pyramid scheme?
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Oh, no. Of course not.
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We use the triangulated
vertical integration model,
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or TVI for short.
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TVIs work from
the bottom up.
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This is your business, ladies.
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There is no one
below you.
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So that means
we're at the top.
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No, you're at the bottom.
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But that's as high
as you can go.
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Count me in.
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Me too.
Yeah, girl.
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We're gonna make some money.
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NARRATOR:
While my mother
was keeping it together,
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Tonya was tearing things apart.
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You broke my car?
It fell.
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It didn't just fall.
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What were you doing
in here anyway?
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I was trying to see if my doll
could ride in it.
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It's a model car.
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Nobody's supposed to fit in it.
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It's just a stupid car,
Drew.
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Say you're sorry.
I ain't saying nothing.
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NARRATOR:
Drew was a pretty nice guy,
but if you crossed him,
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it was a whole different game.
It's all right.
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NARRATOR:
Translation:
You done messed up.
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What's all this?
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Yvonne cosmetics.
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I'm gonna be a sales rep.
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You're not working
from home again, are you?
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NARRATOR:
My father hated
when my mother
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went into business
for herself.
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I know it's January, sir,
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but candy corn is not just
for Halloween anymore.
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NARRATOR:
She ran up the phone bill.
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She put my father to work.
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What you mean you got to
put it together yourself?
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Shh! What size
shoe you wear?
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NARRATOR:
And she was always eating.
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Well, Supperware
is just like Tupperware,
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except it's for us.
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How much does
all of this cost?
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$75.
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Where'd you get $75?
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From our savings account.
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How are we supposed to save
if you keep taking money out?
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I need money to buy a new outfit
for Chris's picture day.
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But if you don't think
that I can do it, then fine.
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NARRATOR:
Translation: How come
you're always putting me down?
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It's not that. I--
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I just don't want all these
women hanging out over here,
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running their mouth, eating
our food and wasting your time.
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It's not gonna be
a waste of time.
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All right.
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NARRATOR:
Meanwhile, Drew
was getting revenge,
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and Tonya couldn't tell how.
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What are you
doing in my room?
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Are you gonna say sorry? Okay.
No.
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NARRATOR:
That's the same thing
Martha Stewart said
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before they sent her to jail.
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[***]
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What happened
to your hair?
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I wanted to try
something new for picture day.
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Man, you should try again.
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Come on, man,
it's like Billy Idol.
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It's just hair gel.
Yeah, but on picture day,
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aren't you supposed
to look like...
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I don't know... You?
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It was either this
or Boy George.
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Boy George? Man, the girls
would have been all over you.
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What about for your picture?
You do anything special?
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My mom's taking me shopping
for a new outfit.
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Get out. What are you gonna get?
I don't know.
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Anything that does not have
a big red fire truck on it.
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Nice hair. You waiting
for a white wedding?
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[BOYS LAUGHING]
Those guys are losers.
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NARRATOR:
You should have seen Greg
on picture day
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after he started listening
to ZZ Top.
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Irwin's was our
neighborhood clothing store.
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Before rappers
had clothing lines,
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you can get an outfit
for under $40.
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Welcome to Irwin's.
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Thank you. Uh, we're
looking for an outfit.
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With the right outfit,
you can beat any charge.
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I'm not charged with anything.
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We're just looking for an outfit
for his school pictures.
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Oh, oh. Okay, good.
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Stay in school, kid.
It'll keep you out of jail.
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NARRATOR:
Yeah, that
and not breaking the law.
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Come here. You know what
good clothes look like? Please.
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[***]
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It's okay.
You don't like that?
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Mom.
No.
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Put it back.
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NARRATOR:
To find the perfect outfit
for picture day,
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I tried out all kinds of looks.
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The Isaac Hayes look.
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The Don King look.
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The Rerun.
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[LAUGHING]
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Boy, get in there.
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Thurston Howell III.
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And finally, the
"Please, Mama, can I have it?"
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We got Chris a new outfit
for his school picture.
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It's so cool. I have
a suede-front shirt.
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You got Chris a suede shirt?
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I don't even
have suede shoes.
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How much does
a suede shirt cost?
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Don't worry, Julius. I'll pay
for it out of my Yvonne money.
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You sold all
that stuff already?
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I'm having a party tomorrow.
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You're having a party?
Wish I was having a party.
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So Tonya, I was trying to put
your outfit together
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for your school picture, and I
was only able to find one shoe.
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Where's your other shoe?
Huh?
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00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:06,586
Your shoes. Your brand-new
pair of shoes.
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One is missing.
Where's the other one?
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Wish I could afford
to lose a shoe.
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Drew took it.
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No, I didn't.
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NARRATOR:
The only way Tonya
could tell on Drew
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was if she told on herself.
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So she had a choice to make,
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and it kinda made her
feel like this...
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You're a low-down
lying Yankee.
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Prove it.
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[NEIGHING]
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00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,347
Why would Drew take your shoe?
I don't know.
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00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,149
Wish I could afford
to not know stuff.
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Well, you need to stop lying
on people and find your shoe.
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NARRATOR:
It was only
a few times at my school
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that I actually felt good.
Now, the day I showed up
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00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:49,195
in a suede-front shirt,
that was one of them.
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Yo, what's that?
Suede.
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NARRATOR:
Greg's look went
from Billy Idol
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00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,969
to his other idol, Pat Riley.
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BOY:
Hey, Chris.
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00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,741
Hey, Huggy Bear.
Nice shirt. When you get done,
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00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,710
you can make some
hushpuppies out of it.
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00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:05,812
He's just jealous.
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00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:08,948
NARRATOR:
I had never had another kid
feel jealous of me before.
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00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:13,653
It felt kind of cool.
And then this happened.
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00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,121
My clothes are gone.
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Oh, man, they're taking
pictures next period.
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00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,259
Don't you think I know that?
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* Everybody hates Chris
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What's wrong, Scatman?
Where'd you put my clothes?
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00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:35,041
I don't know what
you're talking about.
223
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,876
You do know
what I'm talking about.
224
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,111
You stole my clothes.
225
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,779
Did you see me
steal your clothes?
226
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,181
Maybe you lost them.
227
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,917
Well, maybe your mama
lost them.
What?
228
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:47,654
That shirt cost $35,
and I want it back.
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I don't have it, Nipsy.
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We gone see about that.
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NARRATOR:
I knew Caruso would never
give me back my clothes
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00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:57,097
unless I proved I was willing
to do what I needed to do.
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00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,265
So I told on him.
He stole my clothes.
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00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,234
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
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00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,236
NARRATOR:
Mrs. Malone was the school's
assistant principal.
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00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,072
She was promoted to the
position after proving the only
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00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,842
thing she hated more than kids
was working with kids.
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00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,377
Stop it. Both of you.
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00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,112
I don't have time for this.
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00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,681
If you stole his clothes,
give them back now.
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00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,850
I didn't.
242
00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:19,452
See?
243
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,321
Told you.
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00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,690
I don't like liars,
young man.
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Lie to me again,
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00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,360
that's detention.
NARRATOR:I wonder what
247
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:29,996
I would have gotten
if I'd stomped on her big toe.
248
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,866
[STUDENTS CHATTERING
INDISTINCTLY]
249
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,701
I can't take
my pictures in this.
250
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:37,971
You might not have to.
Come on.
251
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:40,306
NARRATOR:
My mother was good
at buying stuff,
252
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,275
but she was never
any good at selling.
253
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:45,445
Okay, ladies, can I have
your attention, please?
254
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,848
NARRATOR:
These women are worse than
pigeons in Central Park.
255
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,483
Wait, 'cause
that's the last one.
256
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,719
Ladies, can I have
your attention, please?
257
00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:54,988
I think I'm going to stick
with these right here.
258
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:57,323
Um, ladies, how about
we all have a seat?
259
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,259
Here, in here, please.
260
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:00,727
Take a seat.
Thank you.
261
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,162
Please, be seated.
262
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:06,266
Okay, I would like to tell you
about the benefits
263
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:09,135
of buying and selling
Yvonne cosmetics.
264
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,804
Ooh, what is that?
265
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:14,174
Oh, this is a light skin-blemish
cream. It removes--
266
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:17,911
No, no, no, I'm talking
about the sauce on these wings.
267
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:20,747
Oh, those are honey barbecue.
268
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,882
Yes. So, um...
269
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:25,018
Ooh, these are good.
270
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:26,152
I mean, good.
271
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,054
Thank you very much,
I appreciate that.
272
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,390
So getting back
to the cosmetic line,
273
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:33,226
what we need to do, ladies,
is position ourselves--
274
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:35,462
What's your name again?
275
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,030
My name is Rochelle.
276
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,765
Rochelle.
With Yvonne cosmetics,
277
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:40,100
you need to
position yourself
278
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,002
in order to...
You know what?
279
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:45,105
Mmm. I am late. I have got
to go pick up my sister's son.
280
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,106
I am so...
281
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:48,775
Ooh, but this is really nice.
It really was.
282
00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:50,210
But wait, I didn't
explain to you
283
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,312
the marketing strategy
for Yvonne cosmetics.
284
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:55,048
You know what, we-we'll come
back again next time.
285
00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:57,083
All right, then. You know,
I'm sorry. You know what?
286
00:11:57,117 --> 00:12:00,120
I got to go too. I know,
I know, I'm so sorry.
287
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,788
I gotta go.
It's getting late.
288
00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:03,256
You so sweet.
God bless
289
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:05,959
your little heart, you're just
as cute as you can be.
290
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:08,795
I, uh... You too? I...
291
00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:10,563
This was great.
292
00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:13,033
Let us know when
you want to do it again.
293
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,070
NARRATOR:
They ran out of there like
294
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,805
Keith Sweat tickets
were on sale.
295
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:20,874
How y'all just going to--?
[DOOR CLOSES]
296
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,475
[***]
297
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,244
Spent all this money!
298
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,580
They ate all this?
299
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,983
If you say,
"I told you so,"
300
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:32,052
they might be the last words
you ever say.
301
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,853
That's not what
I was going to say.
302
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,822
Oh, it's not?
No.
303
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,824
Oh.
304
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:39,359
Well, what were you
going to say?
305
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,461
You need to get it
together.
306
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:44,197
What?
I put $75 into this,
307
00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:46,866
so as far as I'm concerned,
that makes us partners.
308
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,234
And I want my money back.
309
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,904
You think people are just
going to buy this junk?
310
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,039
Look, I tried to
give my speech, Julius.
311
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:55,942
Nobody cares about that.
312
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:59,512
This is makeup,
it's not heat,
313
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:02,082
it's not lights,
it's not clothes.
314
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,351
I don't know how you're going
to sell this stuff.
315
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,119
But either you gonna
get my money,
316
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:07,554
or I'm gonna
get my money.
317
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,356
Now, how are you going
to get your money?
318
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:12,025
I don't know,
but I'm gonna get my money.
319
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:13,927
You've got
to be kidding me.
320
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,995
What choice do you have?
321
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,998
My mother spent $35
on a new shirt for me to wear.
322
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:22,402
I can't take a picture
in lost and found clothes.
323
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:25,872
What'd you spend
on the pictures, $15?
324
00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:27,507
Oh, she's gonna kill me.
325
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,142
You'd better take
this picture.
326
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:31,411
At least she'll have something
to remember you by.
327
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,413
NARRATOR:
The only thing Greg
was worse at
328
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,315
than fighting
was cheering people up.
329
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,417
It's not suede,
but it's not bad.
330
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:39,919
NARRATOR:
If I had known kids
were losing clothes this cool,
331
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:42,622
I would never have gone
shopping in the first place.
332
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,190
Thank you. Thank you.
333
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,159
All right, go ahead
and take a spot
334
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:48,294
back by the girl in the pink
in the back row.
335
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,330
And you can sit
right here, buddy.
336
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,533
NARRATOR:
This looks like
the educated Wu Tang Clan.
337
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,668
All right,
338
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,603
smile.
One, two...
339
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:58,171
WOMAN:
Hold on one second.
340
00:13:58,204 --> 00:14:00,607
Chris, will you step
into the hallway?
341
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,242
Go ahead. We'll wait.
342
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,048
What's going on?
343
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:10,183
He stole my shoes.
That's my sweater.
344
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,018
That's my shirt.
Those are my pants.
345
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,554
NARRATOR:
How the hell did he get home
with no pants?
346
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,557
I didn't steal them. I got them
from the lost and found.
347
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,659
Did you lose them?
No.
348
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,227
Then you can't find them.
349
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:27,233
You'd better find something
to wear.
350
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,703
You can't take a picture
in your underwear.
351
00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:31,538
[WHIMPERS]
352
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:34,674
NARRATOR:
I guess nobody ever
told Prince that.
353
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:37,010
[ALL MURMURING]
354
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,315
Where'd you get that?
355
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,150
Drama department.
356
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,353
I felt better
in my underwear.
357
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,488
Just stay back here.
Nobody will notice you.
358
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:51,057
Hey, kid, can you kind
of slide over some?
359
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:52,659
Who, me?
Yeah, you.
360
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:54,961
[***]
361
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:56,262
Nah, it's no good.
362
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,064
You know what?
Just come up front.
363
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,432
I'd rather stay back here.
364
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:01,501
Come on. Your mother
will be able to see you
365
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:04,004
and you won't be lost
in the back row.
366
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:07,374
NARRATOR:
My day was going bad, but my
mother's was going worse.
367
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,610
Ladies? Ladies, can I--?
Can I please get your attention?
368
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:13,313
Ooh, Rochelle,
this was just great.
369
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:17,050
Um, I gotta go,
but, uh, let me know
370
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,518
when you're gonna do this--
371
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:21,154
Oh, no, no, no, no!
You are not leaving! Sit down!
372
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:23,656
Oh!
You too. Sit down.
373
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:26,393
We do not appreciate
being talked to like this.
374
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,594
Shut up!
375
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:30,030
Now I brought you here
to sell some Evonne,
376
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:33,233
and by damn it, I'm going
to sell some Evonne.
377
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:37,737
Rochelle, that is not the way
we sellYvonne.
378
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,707
Be quiet.
379
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,542
Now let me ask y'all a question.
380
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,678
Why are you here?
381
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,681
To buy and sell Yvonne? No.
382
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:51,217
You're here because
you can't get a man.
383
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:54,354
We're here because
we don't need a man.
384
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:57,290
Didn't I tell you
to be quiet?
385
00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:58,291
What?
386
00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:00,560
Now, I know y'all say
y'all don't want a man,
387
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,529
and I know you say
you don't need a man,
388
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,431
but the truth is,
you can't get a man.
389
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,332
NARRATOR:
What you talking about, Willis?
390
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:07,500
Look at her.
391
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,336
You don't think
she don't want a man?
392
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:12,205
Why do you think
she wears all this makeup?
393
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:15,575
Believe or not,
the heifer's 62 years old.
394
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:16,743
[ALL GASP]
395
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:18,645
But she looks good.
396
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:22,315
And if you want to look
like this when you're 62,
397
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:26,152
I suggest that you purchase
some Yvonne.
398
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:28,688
WOMAN: Get your wallet.
Come on, baby. Please come.
399
00:16:28,722 --> 00:16:31,591
Come here 'cause I saw the
dry scalp from across the room.
400
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:34,194
And you know what? You gotta
get this skin lighter here.
401
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,596
You know, it's always ashy.
No, let me tell you.
402
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:38,198
You gotta put it
on your hands.
403
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,667
Thank you so much.
It was great having you.
404
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,535
Girl, stop
stealing crackers.
405
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:44,104
Take care.
All right now.
406
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:45,605
All right, girl,
no more chicken.
407
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,741
All right, take care
of that little boy.
408
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,309
I have to tell you
409
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,411
I've never seen anything
like this in my life.
410
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,146
You know what
we should do next?
411
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,547
We should schedule
another party,
412
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,549
but this time,
let's do it at my house.
413
00:16:56,583 --> 00:17:00,253
Okay.
But-but, I still
want you to bring the chicken.
414
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:03,490
Well, you know what?
That sounds really good.
415
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,225
Great. When
do you want to do it?
416
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:08,061
On your 63rd birthday.
417
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,633
Hey, is that my money?
418
00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:17,637
This is your money.
This is my money.
419
00:17:17,671 --> 00:17:21,307
NARRATOR:
Women say that in divorce court
every day.
420
00:17:23,677 --> 00:17:26,112
You're blocking my light.
421
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,148
Drew, do you have my shoe?
422
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,283
I don't know what
you're talking about.
423
00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:32,485
Tonya, why you
in here fooling around?
424
00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:34,354
You have a picture
to take tomorrow.
425
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:37,490
You need to be looking
for the other shoe.
426
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,192
Now!
427
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,127
[***]
428
00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:42,462
I'm sorry.
429
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:45,131
What? I couldn't hear you.
What'd you say?
430
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:48,134
NARRATOR:
Drew was never the type
to take advantage of people,
431
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:51,504
but Tonya had it coming, so he
was gonna give it to her.
432
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,206
I said I'm sorry.
433
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,507
Sorry for what?
434
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:56,543
Come on, Drew, dang.
435
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,878
I don't know what
you're talking about, Tonya.
436
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:02,148
I'm sorry
for breaking your car,
437
00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:04,417
and I won't mess
with your stuff anymore.
438
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,353
And you'll stay out
of our room?
439
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:07,821
Yes.
440
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:08,855
Good.
441
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:12,292
Now give me my shoe back.
442
00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:13,927
I don't have your shoe.
443
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:17,597
NARRATOR:
All he wanted
was to see her crawl.
444
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:20,433
Tonya.
445
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:24,704
Here.
446
00:18:24,738 --> 00:18:26,806
Thanks.
447
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,410
NARRATOR:
Three hours later, Tonya set
his Voltron robot on fire.
448
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:35,515
Oh, Julius!
look at your baby girl.
449
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:38,485
She's so...
JULIUS: She looks so good!
450
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:39,753
[GASPS]
451
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,455
Look at my handsome man!
452
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:44,758
Oh, you are just too fine
for words.
453
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,459
Look at him, Julius.
454
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,962
Look at that, how cute he is.
Aw, man, so handsome.
455
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:50,897
Chris, where's
your pictures?
456
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:53,767
NARRATOR:
I hadn't told my mother
about the school picture.
457
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,636
But when they arrived,
I had no choice.
458
00:18:56,670 --> 00:18:59,939
Now, before you look
at the picture,
459
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,574
I have to tell you
something.
460
00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:02,842
What?
461
00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:05,412
Somebody stole my clothes.
462
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:07,213
Somebody stole your clothes?
463
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:10,283
Why in the world would somebody
steal your clothes, boy?
464
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:13,353
I got one!
465
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:15,889
Ladies, ladies, please,
I'm signing as fast as I can.
466
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,357
Doyle only has one hand.
467
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,360
I don't think
you're gonna like them.
468
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,929
Chris, even if I don't
like the pictures,
469
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,931
it's not the end
of the world.
470
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:27,334
You are a handsome
young man,
471
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,369
and I love you
either way, baby, okay?
472
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,604
It cannot be
that bad.
473
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:34,341
NARRATOR:
Every now and again,
my mother made me feel
474
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:36,576
like I wasn't the biggest nerd
in the world.
475
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,445
And for a moment,
I actually felt
476
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,947
like the picture didn't matter.
477
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:43,583
A lawn jockey?
478
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:46,786
You took your pictures
dressed as a lawn jockey?
479
00:19:46,820 --> 00:19:49,356
What, they've run out
of monkey suits?
480
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:54,627
* Everybody hates Chris
481
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:59,632
NARRATOR:
Stay tuned for scenes
from our next episode.
482
00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:03,603
[***]
483
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:08,375
* Aw, make it funky now