1 00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:05,138 [***] 2 00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:06,673 NARRATOR: Of all the things in school 3 00:00:06,706 --> 00:00:08,708 that could affect your life forever, 4 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,443 making friends, taking tests, 5 00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:12,445 the one thing that could really affect it 6 00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:14,280 was your school picture. 7 00:00:14,314 --> 00:00:15,648 If your picture looked good, 8 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:18,084 everybody thought you were cool, 9 00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:19,686 and every girl wanted one. 10 00:00:19,719 --> 00:00:21,554 I got one! 11 00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:22,789 Ladies, ladies, please. 12 00:00:22,822 --> 00:00:24,290 I'm signing as fast as I can. 13 00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:26,359 Chris only has one hand. 14 00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:29,396 NARRATOR: When you took a bad picture, it was like giving out subpoenas. 15 00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:31,164 Hey, I got some yearbook pictures. 16 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:32,532 Five by sevens, five by sevens. 17 00:00:32,565 --> 00:00:35,301 Wallet size. Hey, I'll frame it up for you. 18 00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,504 I will frame it up for you. 19 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,472 NARRATOR: So this year I had to prepare, 20 00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:41,341 and the first thing I had to do 21 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,276 was find the right outfit. 22 00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:45,178 I really wanted to look good. 23 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:48,448 The problem was, my mother wanted me to look good too. 24 00:00:48,481 --> 00:00:49,582 Chris, 25 00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:52,652 I got your outfit for picture day. 26 00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:55,622 NARRATOR: Only thing missing was a hat with a propeller. 27 00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:57,624 [***] 28 00:01:03,496 --> 00:01:06,700 * Aw, make it funky now 29 00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,760 Oh, Chris, you look sharp. 30 00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:36,296 I look stupid. 31 00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:38,431 How come I have to wear Drew's old stuff? 32 00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:40,633 Oh, baby, I had to buy Drew a new pair of pants 33 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,470 and Tonya a new pair of shoes for their school pictures. 34 00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:45,605 What's wrong? You look fine. 35 00:01:45,638 --> 00:01:48,408 NARRATOR: My father thought any clothes were good clothes 36 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,477 Well, that's 'cause he didn't have matching socks 37 00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:52,612 till he was 29. I look like an idiot. 38 00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:55,315 Baby, you do not look like an idiot to me. 39 00:01:55,348 --> 00:01:58,618 NARRATOR: That'd be great if I was two. 40 00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:00,587 Well, can I please wear something else? 41 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,389 Long as I don't have to pay for it. 42 00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:03,623 Just find something to wear 43 00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:05,358 and I'll take a look at it, okay? 44 00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:06,760 I don't have anything special. 45 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,362 When I was a kid, we didn't need special clothes. 46 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,398 Just having clothes was special. 47 00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:14,834 NARRATOR: The only way I was gonna get my mother to spend money on me 48 00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:17,237 was if not doing it would embarrass her. 49 00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:19,572 Mom, I'm the only black kid in the whole school. 50 00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:21,508 They already think I'm a crack baby. 51 00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:24,477 Wearing this sweater, they'll probably think I'm on welfare. 52 00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:26,579 Who said we were on welfare? 53 00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:28,915 Be home from school on time tomorrow. 54 00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:30,517 We're gonna go shopping. 55 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:32,719 I thought you said we didn't have the money. 56 00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:33,987 Oh, I'll get it. 57 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,789 Or they'll think that we on welfare. 58 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,757 NARRATOR: If people thought we were homeless, 59 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,726 I could've got some leather socks. 60 00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:41,795 When my mother couldn't get any business to hire her, 61 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,863 she would start her own business from home. 62 00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:47,701 The secret to success in selling Yvonne cosmetics 63 00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,235 is in attitude. 64 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:50,837 Now, when I started selling Yvonne, 65 00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,572 I was like a lot of you. 66 00:02:52,605 --> 00:02:55,475 I was raising my kids, doing housework 67 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:59,012 and wondering where I went wrong. But since, 68 00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:02,449 I've divorced my husband, my kids moved in with my mother, 69 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:05,018 and just last month I won an award: 70 00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:08,555 the Yvonne yellow Buick Riviera. 71 00:03:08,588 --> 00:03:11,524 Wait. So how can we make money again? 72 00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:12,859 Well, you do like me. 73 00:03:12,892 --> 00:03:15,428 You sell your products to women like yourself, 74 00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:17,764 then they sell them to women like them. 75 00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:19,966 Now, isn't that the pyramid scheme? 76 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,968 Oh, no. Of course not. 77 00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:25,739 We use the triangulated vertical integration model, 78 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:27,907 or TVI for short. 79 00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,543 TVIs work from the bottom up. 80 00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:33,046 This is your business, ladies. 81 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:35,281 There is no one below you. 82 00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:36,916 So that means we're at the top. 83 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,952 No, you're at the bottom. 84 00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:41,921 But that's as high as you can go. 85 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:43,890 Count me in. 86 00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:45,425 Me too. Yeah, girl. 87 00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:47,293 We're gonna make some money. 88 00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,562 NARRATOR: While my mother was keeping it together, 89 00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:51,297 Tonya was tearing things apart. 90 00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:53,667 You broke my car? It fell. 91 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:54,734 It didn't just fall. 92 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,469 What were you doing in here anyway? 93 00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:58,872 I was trying to see if my doll could ride in it. 94 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,006 It's a model car. 95 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,675 Nobody's supposed to fit in it. 96 00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:03,877 It's just a stupid car, Drew. 97 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,780 Say you're sorry. I ain't saying nothing. 98 00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:09,783 NARRATOR: Drew was a pretty nice guy, but if you crossed him, 99 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:12,585 it was a whole different game. It's all right. 100 00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:14,854 NARRATOR: Translation: You done messed up. 101 00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,427 What's all this? 102 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:22,028 Yvonne cosmetics. 103 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:23,596 I'm gonna be a sales rep. 104 00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:25,765 You're not working from home again, are you? 105 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:27,734 NARRATOR: My father hated when my mother 106 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,636 went into business for herself. 107 00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:31,604 I know it's January, sir, 108 00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:34,407 but candy corn is not just for Halloween anymore. 109 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,376 NARRATOR: She ran up the phone bill. 110 00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:37,777 She put my father to work. 111 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:40,413 What you mean you got to put it together yourself? 112 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,916 Shh! What size shoe you wear? 113 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,784 NARRATOR: And she was always eating. 114 00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:47,354 Well, Supperware is just like Tupperware, 115 00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:48,822 except it's for us. 116 00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:50,890 How much does all of this cost? 117 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,959 $75. 118 00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:54,661 Where'd you get $75? 119 00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:56,563 From our savings account. 120 00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:59,599 How are we supposed to save if you keep taking money out? 121 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:02,502 I need money to buy a new outfit for Chris's picture day. 122 00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:04,938 But if you don't think that I can do it, then fine. 123 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:08,141 NARRATOR: Translation: How come you're always putting me down? 124 00:05:08,174 --> 00:05:09,776 It's not that. I-- 125 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:12,579 I just don't want all these women hanging out over here, 126 00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:15,548 running their mouth, eating our food and wasting your time. 127 00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,684 It's not gonna be a waste of time. 128 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:19,119 All right. 129 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,621 NARRATOR: Meanwhile, Drew was getting revenge, 130 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,156 and Tonya couldn't tell how. 131 00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:24,824 What are you doing in my room? 132 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,460 Are you gonna say sorry? Okay. No. 133 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:30,096 NARRATOR: That's the same thing Martha Stewart said 134 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,865 before they sent her to jail. 135 00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:33,133 [***] 136 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,701 What happened to your hair? 137 00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:36,970 I wanted to try something new for picture day. 138 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,438 Man, you should try again. 139 00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:39,839 Come on, man, it's like Billy Idol. 140 00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:41,975 It's just hair gel. Yeah, but on picture day, 141 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,943 aren't you supposed to look like... 142 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,478 I don't know... You? 143 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,980 It was either this or Boy George. 144 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,816 Boy George? Man, the girls would have been all over you. 145 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,585 What about for your picture? You do anything special? 146 00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,788 My mom's taking me shopping for a new outfit. 147 00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,990 Get out. What are you gonna get? I don't know. 148 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,959 Anything that does not have a big red fire truck on it. 149 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,731 Nice hair. You waiting for a white wedding? 150 00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:06,766 [BOYS LAUGHING] Those guys are losers. 151 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,768 NARRATOR: You should have seen Greg on picture day 152 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,604 after he started listening to ZZ Top. 153 00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:13,940 Irwin's was our neighborhood clothing store. 154 00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:15,875 Before rappers had clothing lines, 155 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,878 you can get an outfit for under $40. 156 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:19,813 Welcome to Irwin's. 157 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:22,816 Thank you. Uh, we're looking for an outfit. 158 00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:25,618 With the right outfit, you can beat any charge. 159 00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:27,020 I'm not charged with anything. 160 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:30,690 We're just looking for an outfit for his school pictures. 161 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,493 Oh, oh. Okay, good. 162 00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:35,962 Stay in school, kid. It'll keep you out of jail. 163 00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:38,098 NARRATOR: Yeah, that and not breaking the law. 164 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:41,634 Come here. You know what good clothes look like? Please. 165 00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:43,103 [***] 166 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,804 It's okay. You don't like that? 167 00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:48,775 Mom. No. 168 00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:51,077 Put it back. 169 00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,813 NARRATOR: To find the perfect outfit for picture day, 170 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:56,049 I tried out all kinds of looks. 171 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,218 The Isaac Hayes look. 172 00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:04,791 The Don King look. 173 00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:10,563 The Rerun. 174 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,735 [LAUGHING] 175 00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:19,239 Boy, get in there. 176 00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:23,576 Thurston Howell III. 177 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:31,951 And finally, the "Please, Mama, can I have it?" 178 00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:39,092 We got Chris a new outfit for his school picture. 179 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:42,195 It's so cool. I have a suede-front shirt. 180 00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:43,697 You got Chris a suede shirt? 181 00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:44,998 I don't even have suede shoes. 182 00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:46,966 How much does a suede shirt cost? 183 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,235 Don't worry, Julius. I'll pay for it out of my Yvonne money. 184 00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:50,804 You sold all that stuff already? 185 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:52,238 I'm having a party tomorrow. 186 00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:55,008 You're having a party? Wish I was having a party. 187 00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:57,577 So Tonya, I was trying to put your outfit together 188 00:07:57,610 --> 00:08:00,814 for your school picture, and I was only able to find one shoe. 189 00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:03,583 Where's your other shoe? Huh? 190 00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:06,586 Your shoes. Your brand-new pair of shoes. 191 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:08,321 One is missing. Where's the other one? 192 00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:10,290 Wish I could afford to lose a shoe. 193 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:13,126 Drew took it. 194 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,128 No, I didn't. 195 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,630 NARRATOR: The only way Tonya could tell on Drew 196 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,265 was if she told on herself. 197 00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:20,900 So she had a choice to make, 198 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,803 and it kinda made her feel like this... 199 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,306 You're a low-down lying Yankee. 200 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,941 Prove it. 201 00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:31,978 [NEIGHING] 202 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,347 Why would Drew take your shoe? I don't know. 203 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,149 Wish I could afford to not know stuff. 204 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:39,552 Well, you need to stop lying on people and find your shoe. 205 00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:43,957 NARRATOR: It was only a few times at my school 206 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:46,893 that I actually felt good. Now, the day I showed up 207 00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:49,195 in a suede-front shirt, that was one of them. 208 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,364 Yo, what's that? Suede. 209 00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:53,800 NARRATOR: Greg's look went from Billy Idol 210 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,969 to his other idol, Pat Riley. 211 00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,172 BOY: Hey, Chris. 212 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,741 Hey, Huggy Bear. Nice shirt. When you get done, 213 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,710 you can make some hushpuppies out of it. 214 00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:05,812 He's just jealous. 215 00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:08,948 NARRATOR: I had never had another kid feel jealous of me before. 216 00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:13,653 It felt kind of cool. And then this happened. 217 00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,121 My clothes are gone. 218 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,657 Oh, man, they're taking pictures next period. 219 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,259 Don't you think I know that? 220 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:23,797 * Everybody hates Chris 221 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:33,106 What's wrong, Scatman? Where'd you put my clothes? 222 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:35,041 I don't know what you're talking about. 223 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,876 You do know what I'm talking about. 224 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,111 You stole my clothes. 225 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,779 Did you see me steal your clothes? 226 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,181 Maybe you lost them. 227 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,917 Well, maybe your mama lost them. What? 228 00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:47,654 That shirt cost $35, and I want it back. 229 00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:48,888 I don't have it, Nipsy. 230 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,824 We gone see about that. 231 00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:53,693 NARRATOR: I knew Caruso would never give me back my clothes 232 00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:57,097 unless I proved I was willing to do what I needed to do. 233 00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,265 So I told on him. He stole my clothes. 234 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,234 No, I didn't. Yes, you did. 235 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,236 NARRATOR: Mrs. Malone was the school's assistant principal. 236 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,072 She was promoted to the position after proving the only 237 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,842 thing she hated more than kids was working with kids. 238 00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,377 Stop it. Both of you. 239 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,112 I don't have time for this. 240 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,681 If you stole his clothes, give them back now. 241 00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,850 I didn't. 242 00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:19,452 See? 243 00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,321 Told you. 244 00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,690 I don't like liars, young man. 245 00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,258 Lie to me again, 246 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,360 that's detention. NARRATOR:I wonder what 247 00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:29,996 I would have gotten if I'd stomped on her big toe. 248 00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,866 [STUDENTS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 249 00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,701 I can't take my pictures in this. 250 00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:37,971 You might not have to. Come on. 251 00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:40,306 NARRATOR: My mother was good at buying stuff, 252 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,275 but she was never any good at selling. 253 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:45,445 Okay, ladies, can I have your attention, please? 254 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,848 NARRATOR: These women are worse than pigeons in Central Park. 255 00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,483 Wait, 'cause that's the last one. 256 00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,719 Ladies, can I have your attention, please? 257 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:54,988 I think I'm going to stick with these right here. 258 00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:57,323 Um, ladies, how about we all have a seat? 259 00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,259 Here, in here, please. 260 00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:00,727 Take a seat. Thank you. 261 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,162 Please, be seated. 262 00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:06,266 Okay, I would like to tell you about the benefits 263 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:09,135 of buying and selling Yvonne cosmetics. 264 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,804 Ooh, what is that? 265 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:14,174 Oh, this is a light skin-blemish cream. It removes-- 266 00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:17,911 No, no, no, I'm talking about the sauce on these wings. 267 00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:20,747 Oh, those are honey barbecue. 268 00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,882 Yes. So, um... 269 00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:25,018 Ooh, these are good. 270 00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:26,152 I mean, good. 271 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,054 Thank you very much, I appreciate that. 272 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,390 So getting back to the cosmetic line, 273 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:33,226 what we need to do, ladies, is position ourselves-- 274 00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:35,462 What's your name again? 275 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,030 My name is Rochelle. 276 00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,765 Rochelle. With Yvonne cosmetics, 277 00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:40,100 you need to position yourself 278 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,002 in order to... You know what? 279 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:45,105 Mmm. I am late. I have got to go pick up my sister's son. 280 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,106 I am so... 281 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:48,775 Ooh, but this is really nice. It really was. 282 00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:50,210 But wait, I didn't explain to you 283 00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,312 the marketing strategy for Yvonne cosmetics. 284 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:55,048 You know what, we-we'll come back again next time. 285 00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:57,083 All right, then. You know, I'm sorry. You know what? 286 00:11:57,117 --> 00:12:00,120 I got to go too. I know, I know, I'm so sorry. 287 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,788 I gotta go. It's getting late. 288 00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:03,256 You so sweet. God bless 289 00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:05,959 your little heart, you're just as cute as you can be. 290 00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:08,795 I, uh... You too? I... 291 00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:10,563 This was great. 292 00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:13,033 Let us know when you want to do it again. 293 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,070 NARRATOR: They ran out of there like 294 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,805 Keith Sweat tickets were on sale. 295 00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:20,874 How y'all just going to--? [DOOR CLOSES] 296 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,475 [***] 297 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,244 Spent all this money! 298 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,580 They ate all this? 299 00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,983 If you say, "I told you so," 300 00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:32,052 they might be the last words you ever say. 301 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,853 That's not what I was going to say. 302 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,822 Oh, it's not? No. 303 00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,824 Oh. 304 00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:39,359 Well, what were you going to say? 305 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,461 You need to get it together. 306 00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:44,197 What? I put $75 into this, 307 00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:46,866 so as far as I'm concerned, that makes us partners. 308 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,234 And I want my money back. 309 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,904 You think people are just going to buy this junk? 310 00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,039 Look, I tried to give my speech, Julius. 311 00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:55,942 Nobody cares about that. 312 00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:59,512 This is makeup, it's not heat, 313 00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:02,082 it's not lights, it's not clothes. 314 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,351 I don't know how you're going to sell this stuff. 315 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,119 But either you gonna get my money, 316 00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:07,554 or I'm gonna get my money. 317 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,356 Now, how are you going to get your money? 318 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:12,025 I don't know, but I'm gonna get my money. 319 00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:13,927 You've got to be kidding me. 320 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,995 What choice do you have? 321 00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,998 My mother spent $35 on a new shirt for me to wear. 322 00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:22,402 I can't take a picture in lost and found clothes. 323 00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:25,872 What'd you spend on the pictures, $15? 324 00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:27,507 Oh, she's gonna kill me. 325 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,142 You'd better take this picture. 326 00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:31,411 At least she'll have something to remember you by. 327 00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,413 NARRATOR: The only thing Greg was worse at 328 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,315 than fighting was cheering people up. 329 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,417 It's not suede, but it's not bad. 330 00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:39,919 NARRATOR: If I had known kids were losing clothes this cool, 331 00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:42,622 I would never have gone shopping in the first place. 332 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,190 Thank you. Thank you. 333 00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,159 All right, go ahead and take a spot 334 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:48,294 back by the girl in the pink in the back row. 335 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,330 And you can sit right here, buddy. 336 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,533 NARRATOR: This looks like the educated Wu Tang Clan. 337 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,668 All right, 338 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,603 smile. One, two... 339 00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:58,171 WOMAN: Hold on one second. 340 00:13:58,204 --> 00:14:00,607 Chris, will you step into the hallway? 341 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,242 Go ahead. We'll wait. 342 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,048 What's going on? 343 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:10,183 He stole my shoes. That's my sweater. 344 00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,018 That's my shirt. Those are my pants. 345 00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,554 NARRATOR: How the hell did he get home with no pants? 346 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,557 I didn't steal them. I got them from the lost and found. 347 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,659 Did you lose them? No. 348 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,227 Then you can't find them. 349 00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:27,233 You'd better find something to wear. 350 00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,703 You can't take a picture in your underwear. 351 00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:31,538 [WHIMPERS] 352 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:34,674 NARRATOR: I guess nobody ever told Prince that. 353 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:37,010 [ALL MURMURING] 354 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,315 Where'd you get that? 355 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,150 Drama department. 356 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,353 I felt better in my underwear. 357 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,488 Just stay back here. Nobody will notice you. 358 00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:51,057 Hey, kid, can you kind of slide over some? 359 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:52,659 Who, me? Yeah, you. 360 00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:54,961 [***] 361 00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:56,262 Nah, it's no good. 362 00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,064 You know what? Just come up front. 363 00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,432 I'd rather stay back here. 364 00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:01,501 Come on. Your mother will be able to see you 365 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:04,004 and you won't be lost in the back row. 366 00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:07,374 NARRATOR: My day was going bad, but my mother's was going worse. 367 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,610 Ladies? Ladies, can I--? Can I please get your attention? 368 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:13,313 Ooh, Rochelle, this was just great. 369 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:17,050 Um, I gotta go, but, uh, let me know 370 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,518 when you're gonna do this-- 371 00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:21,154 Oh, no, no, no, no! You are not leaving! Sit down! 372 00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:23,656 Oh! You too. Sit down. 373 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:26,393 We do not appreciate being talked to like this. 374 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,594 Shut up! 375 00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:30,030 Now I brought you here to sell some Evonne, 376 00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:33,233 and by damn it, I'm going to sell some Evonne. 377 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:37,737 Rochelle, that is not the way we sellYvonne. 378 00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,707 Be quiet. 379 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,542 Now let me ask y'all a question. 380 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,678 Why are you here? 381 00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,681 To buy and sell Yvonne? No. 382 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:51,217 You're here because you can't get a man. 383 00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:54,354 We're here because we don't need a man. 384 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:57,290 Didn't I tell you to be quiet? 385 00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:58,291 What? 386 00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:00,560 Now, I know y'all say y'all don't want a man, 387 00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,529 and I know you say you don't need a man, 388 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,431 but the truth is, you can't get a man. 389 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,332 NARRATOR: What you talking about, Willis? 390 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:07,500 Look at her. 391 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,336 You don't think she don't want a man? 392 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:12,205 Why do you think she wears all this makeup? 393 00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:15,575 Believe or not, the heifer's 62 years old. 394 00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:16,743 [ALL GASP] 395 00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:18,645 But she looks good. 396 00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:22,315 And if you want to look like this when you're 62, 397 00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:26,152 I suggest that you purchase some Yvonne. 398 00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:28,688 WOMAN: Get your wallet. Come on, baby. Please come. 399 00:16:28,722 --> 00:16:31,591 Come here 'cause I saw the dry scalp from across the room. 400 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:34,194 And you know what? You gotta get this skin lighter here. 401 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,596 You know, it's always ashy. No, let me tell you. 402 00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:38,198 You gotta put it on your hands. 403 00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,667 Thank you so much. It was great having you. 404 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,535 Girl, stop stealing crackers. 405 00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:44,104 Take care. All right now. 406 00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:45,605 All right, girl, no more chicken. 407 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,741 All right, take care of that little boy. 408 00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,309 I have to tell you 409 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,411 I've never seen anything like this in my life. 410 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,146 You know what we should do next? 411 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,547 We should schedule another party, 412 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,549 but this time, let's do it at my house. 413 00:16:56,583 --> 00:17:00,253 Okay. But-but, I still want you to bring the chicken. 414 00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:03,490 Well, you know what? That sounds really good. 415 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,225 Great. When do you want to do it? 416 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:08,061 On your 63rd birthday. 417 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,633 Hey, is that my money? 418 00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:17,637 This is your money. This is my money. 419 00:17:17,671 --> 00:17:21,307 NARRATOR: Women say that in divorce court every day. 420 00:17:23,677 --> 00:17:26,112 You're blocking my light. 421 00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,148 Drew, do you have my shoe? 422 00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,283 I don't know what you're talking about. 423 00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:32,485 Tonya, why you in here fooling around? 424 00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:34,354 You have a picture to take tomorrow. 425 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:37,490 You need to be looking for the other shoe. 426 00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,192 Now! 427 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,127 [***] 428 00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:42,462 I'm sorry. 429 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:45,131 What? I couldn't hear you. What'd you say? 430 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:48,134 NARRATOR: Drew was never the type to take advantage of people, 431 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:51,504 but Tonya had it coming, so he was gonna give it to her. 432 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,206 I said I'm sorry. 433 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,507 Sorry for what? 434 00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:56,543 Come on, Drew, dang. 435 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,878 I don't know what you're talking about, Tonya. 436 00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:02,148 I'm sorry for breaking your car, 437 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:04,417 and I won't mess with your stuff anymore. 438 00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,353 And you'll stay out of our room? 439 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:07,821 Yes. 440 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:08,855 Good. 441 00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:12,292 Now give me my shoe back. 442 00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:13,927 I don't have your shoe. 443 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:17,597 NARRATOR: All he wanted was to see her crawl. 444 00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:20,433 Tonya. 445 00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:24,704 Here. 446 00:18:24,738 --> 00:18:26,806 Thanks. 447 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,410 NARRATOR: Three hours later, Tonya set his Voltron robot on fire. 448 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:35,515 Oh, Julius! look at your baby girl. 449 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:38,485 She's so... JULIUS: She looks so good! 450 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:39,753 [GASPS] 451 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,455 Look at my handsome man! 452 00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:44,758 Oh, you are just too fine for words. 453 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,459 Look at him, Julius. 454 00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,962 Look at that, how cute he is. Aw, man, so handsome. 455 00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:50,897 Chris, where's your pictures? 456 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:53,767 NARRATOR: I hadn't told my mother about the school picture. 457 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,636 But when they arrived, I had no choice. 458 00:18:56,670 --> 00:18:59,939 Now, before you look at the picture, 459 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,574 I have to tell you something. 460 00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:02,842 What? 461 00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:05,412 Somebody stole my clothes. 462 00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:07,213 Somebody stole your clothes? 463 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:10,283 Why in the world would somebody steal your clothes, boy? 464 00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:13,353 I got one! 465 00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:15,889 Ladies, ladies, please, I'm signing as fast as I can. 466 00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,357 Doyle only has one hand. 467 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,360 I don't think you're gonna like them. 468 00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,929 Chris, even if I don't like the pictures, 469 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,931 it's not the end of the world. 470 00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:27,334 You are a handsome young man, 471 00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,369 and I love you either way, baby, okay? 472 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,604 It cannot be that bad. 473 00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:34,341 NARRATOR: Every now and again, my mother made me feel 474 00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:36,576 like I wasn't the biggest nerd in the world. 475 00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,445 And for a moment, I actually felt 476 00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,947 like the picture didn't matter. 477 00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:43,583 A lawn jockey? 478 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:46,786 You took your pictures dressed as a lawn jockey? 479 00:19:46,820 --> 00:19:49,356 What, they've run out of monkey suits? 480 00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:54,627 * Everybody hates Chris 481 00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:59,632 NARRATOR: Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode. 482 00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:03,603 [***] 483 00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:08,375 * Aw, make it funky now