1
00:00:02,702 --> 00:00:05,305
[***]
2
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,210
Mama, can we get these?
3
00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:12,379
No, we've already got
peanut butter and jelly.
4
00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:14,814
Ma, I hate that stuff.
It tastes like concrete.
5
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,649
Ring it up, please.
6
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,585
CHRIS ROCK:
When I was a kid,
my dad would try
7
00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:20,587
to save money
any way he could,
8
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:23,223
so when my mother went
shopping, he had one rule:
9
00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:24,424
No name brands.
10
00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:30,196
So instead of Fruit Loops,
Cheerios or Frosted Flakes,
11
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:31,464
we got...
12
00:00:32,899 --> 00:00:35,268
"Cereal"?
What is this stuff?
13
00:00:35,301 --> 00:00:37,837
Is it oats? Is it flakes?
14
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,472
Is there a prize inside?
15
00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:42,442
The prize is
you don't starve to death.
16
00:00:42,475 --> 00:00:43,643
Ring it up.
17
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:45,812
And instead of Oreos,
Ginger Snaps
18
00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:49,449
or Chips Ahoy, we got...
19
00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:50,316
"Cookie"?
20
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:51,718
That's right, Cookie.
21
00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:53,720
Not Cookies, Cookie.
22
00:00:53,753 --> 00:00:57,557
A big bag
with one cookie in it.
23
00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:59,893
Ooh, Mama,
can I have some cookie?
24
00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:01,594
Yeah, but only two bites.
25
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:05,331
Don't suck out all the chips
like you did last time.
26
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:06,866
When it came to soap,
27
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:10,470
instead of Zest, Dial or Coast,
we got...
28
00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:13,873
Camay?
Do you have a problem with that?
29
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,508
Ring it up.
30
00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:17,777
My mother could save money
a lot of places,
31
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:19,612
but not on her ass.
32
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:22,215
[***]
33
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:30,457
* Aw, make it funky now
34
00:01:54,247 --> 00:01:56,549
Partner science projects
are due Friday,
35
00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,485
so decide who you want
to work with,
36
00:01:58,518 --> 00:02:00,620
sign the sheet
as it comes around.
37
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,491
Back off! One at a time.
38
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:06,426
Quietly.
39
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,762
Hey, Greg. You want to do
a project together?
40
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:12,232
I don't know. I had a couple
ideas I was already working on.
41
00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:13,733
CHRIS ROCK:
I wanted to work with Greg
42
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:16,503
because my last science project
didn't go so well.
43
00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:17,771
[BOTH GRUNTING]
44
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,239
Chris!
45
00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:20,674
[SCREAMING]
46
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:23,743
Would you get these
damn ants out of here!
47
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:26,646
James Brown stole that whole
"ants in my pants" idea
48
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,248
from my father.
49
00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:29,582
[GRUNTING]
50
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,653
Come on, man. Who else
will partner with me?
51
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:36,256
It's not that I don't
want to be your partner.
52
00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:38,425
It's just... I take my science
very seriously.
53
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:41,528
Yeah, but, you know,
we could still have fun.
54
00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:44,831
We're talking about science,
Chris, so you gotta decide.
55
00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:47,334
Do you want to have fun,
or you want to win?
56
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,302
Hell, I just wanted to pass.
57
00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:58,712
JULIUS:
Rochelle!
Rochelle!
58
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:01,681
I'm in here, baby!
59
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:04,918
You are never gonna believe
what happened.
60
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:06,453
What?
61
00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:08,688
Hah!
62
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:13,760
Bah-yah! Ha-ha! That's
$200 worth of food stamps.
63
00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,829
Where did you get
food stamps from?
64
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,297
I found them.
65
00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:18,565
From the time he was a kid
66
00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:20,000
to the time he was an adult,
67
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,302
my father loved to find money.
68
00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:26,439
Mom! Mom! Mom!
I found a quarter.
69
00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:27,741
I love you, quarter.
70
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:30,710
I'm gonna keep you
and name you Bernard.
71
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,312
[WOMAN GRUNTS]
72
00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:33,913
It's a boy!
73
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:35,415
I found a dollar!
74
00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:36,916
That's not even my mother.
75
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,786
[BABY CRYING]
76
00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:40,954
[CHUCKLES]
77
00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:43,356
Look at this. Wha...?
78
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,724
What's wrong?
79
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:47,660
Julius, you know I hate
using food stamps.
80
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,429
My mother hated
using food stamps
81
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:50,997
because she was a ghetto snob.
82
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:54,834
And sometimes using food stamps
could be a little embarrassing.
83
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,438
That'll be 79 cent.
84
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:03,343
Ten, 20, 30, 40, 50...
85
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:06,613
My mother would have felt
better just robbing the place.
86
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:10,950
Does anybody have change
for a 50-cent bill?
87
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,652
Rochelle, money is money.
88
00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:14,888
Cash, food stamps--
What's the difference?
89
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:17,490
Because I don't want to
have to curse nobody out.
90
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:19,426
What?!
Julius...
91
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:20,827
when I pull out food stamps,
92
00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:23,697
people look at me
like I ain't got no husband.
93
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:26,366
They talk to me
like I ain't got no sense.
94
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:28,068
They treat me
like I ain't got no class.
95
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:32,005
And if somebody treats me like
that, I'm gonna curse them out!
96
00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:34,507
Two hundred dollars
is $200.
97
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:36,576
Either you're gonna shop
with it, or I am.
98
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,812
And you don't want me
to go shopping.
99
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,847
My father figured out
that the only food
100
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,617
cheaper than generic food
was damaged food.
101
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,623
Fine.
102
00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:53,059
Since we got the extra cash,
can you give me $20,
103
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:56,629
so I could get my hair done?
Can you do it yourself?
104
00:04:56,663 --> 00:05:00,100
Sure, baby, you go ahead.
You look good.
105
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:05,071
It's all good. $200, man!
106
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,407
Oh! Thank you, Lord.
107
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,577
At school, I felt like I was
trying to do a science project
108
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:12,812
and Greg was trying to win
the Nobel Prize.
109
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:15,782
I was thinking about doing
something on the periodic table.
110
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,785
We can chart each element and
show how it affected society.
111
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,687
I was thinking
we could make a volcano
112
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,656
with vinegar and baking soda.
No, I did that in third grade.
113
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:26,826
My third-grade science project
was watching a banana rot.
114
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:29,996
Hey, why don't we do a whole
thing on plate tectonics?
115
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,598
I thought "Plate Tectonics" was
116
00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:33,533
the original name
of the Wu Tang Clan.
117
00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:35,568
We can diagram
the continental shift
118
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:36,970
and show
how mountain ranges form
119
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,639
and show how the shape
of the Earth has changed.
120
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,908
So I guess making
a robot out of soup cans
121
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:43,810
ain't gonna get it.
No.
122
00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:48,815
As much as it hurt my mother
to shop with food stamps,
123
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:52,118
there were two words
that made it all worthwhile...
124
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,587
Name brands.
125
00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,756
[***]
126
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:32,158
That's my mom, ghetto snob.
127
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:34,661
[***]
128
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,838
[CROWD CHEERING]
129
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,625
That'll be $95.33.
130
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,193
This store is highway robbery.
131
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:09,596
Rochelle! Girl!
132
00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:10,797
ROCHELLE & SHEILA:
Hey!
133
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,599
I didn't know
you shopped here.
134
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,701
I-- I come here all the time.
135
00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:17,537
Uh, Mama, you dropped your-- Ow!
136
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,039
So, um...
137
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:21,941
what are you doing here?
Two for one. Ha-ha!
138
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,044
Okay.
You know I like to save money.
139
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,945
Yeah, you know, you gotta...
140
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:27,947
know what to do with your money.
Uh-huh.
141
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,049
Yeah.
Yeah.
142
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:32,852
$95.33.
Hm?
143
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,754
$95.33.
144
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:38,024
Oh, okay...
Girl, I wasn't listening.
145
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,193
You'd think she'd pay
with food stamps.
146
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:43,196
That cash was supposed
to last my mom a month.
147
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:46,566
Girl, you know what, you got
to buy the best for your family.
148
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,568
The best.
That's what I always say.
149
00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:50,804
There's nothing too expensive
for my family.
150
00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:52,205
SHEILA: Mm-mm.
Ooh.
151
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:53,606
Daddy gonna be mad.
152
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:54,774
[MUTTERS]
153
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,009
That look meant,
154
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,278
"Get with the program."
155
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,046
You look good, you look good.
Oh!
156
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,816
You look good too, girl.
Y'all get in the car.
157
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:05,919
Get in the car.
158
00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:08,722
Meanwhile, I turned down
Greg's project
159
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:11,257
on the Theory of Relativity.
160
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,992
Go!
161
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,060
[GLASS BREAKING]
162
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,862
Ooh!
MAN: I'm coming up there, boys!
163
00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:17,864
Go.
He turned down my project
164
00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:19,833
on how to make ice.
165
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:22,268
Finally, we decided
on something we both liked:
166
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,204
BOTH:
The solar system!
167
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,872
CHRIS:
This looks great.
168
00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:27,741
Mercury is closest
to the sun,
169
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:29,843
Venus is second, Earth is third.
170
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:32,746
And we have four moons
around Jupiter.
171
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,214
It's perfectly to scale.
172
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:37,751
Quit lying to yourself.
What's that supposed to mean?
173
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:39,853
If Earth was actually
this close to the sun,
174
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:43,656
we'd all be dead.
Greg, it's a science project.
175
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,658
It looks great.
We gotta do it over.
176
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,128
Do it over?
Do the whole universe over?
177
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:51,031
Are you crazy?
It looks great the way it is.
178
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:54,034
This isn't great, this sucks.
Look at this kid.
179
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,970
His project is a bug in Jell-O.
We're fine.
180
00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:58,938
I knew you didn't take science
as seriously as I do.
181
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:01,675
Einstein didn't take science
as seriously as you do.
182
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,743
I should've gotten
somebody else for a partner.
183
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,245
I can't turn this in.
People will think I'm an idiot.
184
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:07,647
What are you trying to say?
I said it once,
185
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,916
and I'm gonna say it again.
This sucks.
186
00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:11,918
If you want
to do something else...
187
00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:13,987
well, then do something else.
188
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,756
I'm not gonna let you
screw the whole thing up.
189
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,625
[BOTH GRUNTING]
190
00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:23,063
There's a reason you didn't
have a friend till I came along.
191
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,865
And there's a reason
you don't have a friend now.
192
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,935
It was like Andrew Ridgeley
leaving Wham!
193
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:33,873
* Everybody hates Chris
194
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:44,751
Rochelle, I thought I asked you
not to buy these name brands.
195
00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:46,319
Oh, well, honey,
I figured the kids...
196
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:49,923
You know what? Forget it.
I forgot you used food stamps.
197
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:52,659
Uh-huh. We used food stamps.
198
00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:54,694
Mama, you know we--
Tonya, why don't you
199
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,262
go get your daddy some syrup.
200
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,031
For his cereal?
201
00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:59,699
For his pancakes.
202
00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:07,007
Baby, you want some pancakes?
203
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,943
I didn't even know we had these.
Yeah.
204
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:11,811
Wow, Ma, this toast is good.
205
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:14,047
What'd you do different?
I bought fresh bread.
206
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,716
We usually got our bread
from the day-old bakery,
207
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,685
which was even cheaper
when we got it
208
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:20,720
from the three-day-old shelf.
209
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:25,759
That look says, "If you
couldn't whup me, I'd tell."
210
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,231
You know, I been thinking.
211
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:34,100
Since I found this money,
we got over $100 left
212
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,836
after we pay the light bill
and get your hair done.
213
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:39,239
Maybe we could splurge for once.
Splurge?
214
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:42,308
Yeah, I mean... $100.
215
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:43,710
I could take the day off.
216
00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:45,779
I could sleep till 9:00.
217
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,114
Hey, we could even go
to a movie for once.
218
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,816
That was 1982.
219
00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:52,852
These days, $100
won't even buy you $20.
220
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,288
Um, maybe that's not
such a good idea.
221
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,790
Oh, yes it is.
222
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,825
Not every day you find
money like that.
223
00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,860
I know, but, you know,
maybe we should...
224
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:03,163
Come on.
You're getting your hair done.
225
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,398
Why can't I treat myself
to something?
226
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:06,900
I'm just saying, look,
227
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,102
we shouldn't
rush into anything, you know?
228
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:11,771
You know what, baby?
You're right.
229
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,841
See? I'm right.
You right. I hear you.
230
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:17,043
I'm gonna take a nap
231
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:19,079
and figure out
how to spend this money.
232
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:22,949
Some people counted sheep,
my father counted cheap.
233
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:25,185
Don't you have to go to work?
234
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,386
Not right now.
235
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:30,023
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
236
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:32,058
I'm gonna be over by
the electric company.
237
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:34,294
If you give me the money,
I can pay the light bill.
238
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:37,163
No, no, no. I'll do it.
239
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,232
You just lay down
and take a nap and rest.
240
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,234
I'll take care of it.
It's across the--
241
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:44,938
Shh!
Ha! Get...
242
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:46,339
Could you get me a pillow?
243
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,209
Sure, sure. Pillow for Julius.
244
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:52,278
Thank you, baby. Thank you.
Go ahead. Get some rest.
245
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:53,847
I hate to admit it,
246
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,348
but the first real breakup
I ever had
247
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:58,318
wasn't with a girl,
it was with Greg.
248
00:11:58,351 --> 00:11:59,853
Give me back Mercury.
249
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,254
Go ahead, you can have it.
250
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:02,856
But I brought Earth into this,
251
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,224
so it's rightfully mine.
252
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:08,795
Hey, where's my Earth?
It got burned up by the sun.
253
00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:11,031
You know what? I'm gonna
get another partner,
254
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,333
then we're gonna finish this
and slaughter you.
255
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,901
Well, I'm gonna get one too.
256
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:18,004
Go ahead.
I will!
257
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:19,205
Bye.
258
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,206
Shoot.
259
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:25,912
There's two more girls
I can scratch off my list.
260
00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:27,213
You know what?
261
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,349
Instead of spending
that money on ourselves,
262
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:32,552
why don't you, me and the kids
go to the movies on Friday?
263
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,087
Well, isn't that expensive?
264
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,056
We got it. It could be fun.
265
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,458
We could go seeRocky III
at the dollar show.
266
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,893
The kids love Rocky.
267
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,361
Usually, my mother would jump
268
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,029
at going to the movies,
269
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,231
because with three kids,
she never had time.
270
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,234
As a matter of fact,
here's the last movie she saw.
271
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,070
[***]
272
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:59,546
Movies are on TV
every Friday, you know?
273
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,181
There's no gum
on the floor,
274
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,183
no rats running
through the aisles.
275
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,985
You can go to the bathroom
as much as you like.
276
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:07,987
Ooh, as a matter of fact,
Friday night,
277
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,622
The Ghost and Mr. Chicken
is on.
278
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,524
Why would I need
to go to the movies?
279
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,126
Because you're always
complaining
280
00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:15,462
about how I never
take you to the movies.
281
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,063
Well, I'm tired, you know?
282
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:18,998
I just want to stay home.
283
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,135
Okay.
284
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,404
You never really
appreciate a friend
285
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,272
until you try
to find another one.
286
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,274
Did you seeKnight Rider
last night?
287
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:31,478
No. Did you see
the Celtics game?
288
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,480
No.
I didn't think so.
289
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,882
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
290
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:37,951
Si.
If I had known
291
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,886
there was a Puerto Rican kid
in the school,
292
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:43,323
I would've hung out
with him in the first place.
293
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,291
My mother
couldn't admit what she did,
294
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,527
so the only thing
left for her to do
295
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,396
was sell her food stamps.
296
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:51,064
Food stamps. I got food stamps.
297
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:53,433
What? I can't hear
what you're saying.
298
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:56,236
I said I got food stamps.
I got those food stamps.
299
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:59,339
Oh, whoop-de-damn-do.
I got food stamps too.
300
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:02,342
Excuse me.
301
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:03,643
Food stamps.
302
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,146
Come on, girl,
you know you need them.
303
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,149
I'm short on my light bill,
need to sell these food stamps.
304
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,918
Fifty cent on the dollar.
Oh, no, no. No, thank you.
305
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:13,687
Beat it, beat it.
Food stamps!
306
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,423
What?
Fifty cent on the dollar.
307
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:17,991
[ALL CLAMORING]
308
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,360
What the hell?
What the hell is going...?
309
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,428
All right, all right.
310
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,563
One at a time.
One at a time.
311
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,065
Damn it!
312
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,533
My mother finally
had to turn
313
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:29,602
to the one guy she thought
could help her, Risky.
314
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:32,939
Now, Risky specialized
in buying and selling things
315
00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:34,607
he wasn't supposed to have.
316
00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,009
Come on, Risky.
317
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,078
Man, this is $200 worth
of food stamps.
318
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,113
Two hundred dollars worth
of food stamps?
319
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:43,516
I'm trying to sell
$2000 worth of food stamps.
320
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:47,487
Want to buy an iron?
You take food stamps?
321
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,357
* Yeah, come on, come on
Come on *
322
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:53,326
* Yeah, that's right
That's right... *
323
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,229
Get out of my way.
No, you get out of my way.
324
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,198
Fight!
325
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,233
Like wars,
most fights are started
326
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:02,068
by people who won't get hit.
327
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:04,337
All right, then. Hold my books.
328
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:07,540
Holdmybooks.
Hold my sweater.
329
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,309
Hold my vest.
330
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,111
Hold my watch.
331
00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:13,346
Hold myStar Trekbracelet.
332
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,081
Hold my shoes.
333
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:17,417
* The game is over
Come on... *
334
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,453
[MUSIC STOPS]
335
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:23,156
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[CROWD GROANS DISAPPOINTEDLY]
336
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:25,458
"Hold my shoes"?
Where'd you get that?
337
00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:27,727
It was either that
or punch you in the face.
338
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,562
Seriously?
CHRIS: No.
339
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:32,298
What are we gonna do about
the science project?
340
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:33,400
I got an idea.
341
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:38,204
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
342
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:40,774
BOTH: What?
He said, "What about us?"
343
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,742
[BOTH SPEAK IN SPANISH]
344
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:43,743
Come on.
345
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,146
[***]
346
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,352
My mother decided
to hit the one place
347
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:55,155
where selling food stamps
would be easy.
348
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:57,323
Food stamps,
50 cent on the dollar.
349
00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:00,727
Food stamps, 50 cent
on the dollar.
350
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,129
Come on, Paco.
I'll take a nickel bag.
351
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,200
Risky?
352
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:09,602
Rochelle? What you doing?
You selling weed?
353
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:12,305
No, I'm not selling weed.
I'm selling food stamps.
354
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:14,174
Oh, well, who's selling weed?
355
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:17,344
Get your jelly bean head
out of here.
356
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:20,113
Did I just hear you say
you were selling food stamps?
357
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,449
I most certainly am not
selling food stamps.
358
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,683
Who said I was selling
food stamps?
359
00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:26,286
Rochelle! Ha-ha!
Hey, hey!
360
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,822
Hey, I didn't know you knew Pam.
Hi, Pam.
361
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,757
Hey.
We just met.
362
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,459
Yeah.
Girl, your hair looks good.
363
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,294
Thank you.
Pam is my hairdresser.
364
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,329
I just came from her shop.
Coincidence.
365
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,565
So, what about
those food stamps?
366
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:41,067
I'm not selling food stamps.
You selling food stamps?
367
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,502
No, no, no, no.
368
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:44,270
It looked like she was
selling food stamps.
369
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,272
Where's your shop?
Right up the block.
370
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,608
Okay, okay.
You could use a touch-up.
371
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,343
I sure can.
372
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:53,079
Uh, um,
when's your next appointment?
373
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,548
Oh, she can take you now.
Really?
374
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,083
I just came to get lunch.
375
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:58,852
My next appointment
isn't for another hour.
376
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:00,320
See? There you go.
377
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,322
I'll see y'all later.
All right, girl.
378
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,791
You see that lady selling
food stamps, let me know.
379
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:06,192
Ha, will do.
380
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:09,095
Take care.
Looking good, girl.
381
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:11,097
Where's your shop?
Right up the street.
382
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:14,100
I'll hook you up right now.
All right.
383
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,202
I still wish Earth was
further from the sun.
384
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:18,204
You think we can win it?
Are you kidding?
385
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,606
If we can't beat
a bug in Jell-O,
386
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,107
I'll go to school
in your neighborhood.
387
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:22,575
You're right.
This looks great.
388
00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:25,378
Hey, Frank. I finished
our science project.
389
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:28,682
Hey, you can't do that!
What are you gonna do about it?
390
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:31,251
All the science in the world
is no match for a guy
391
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:35,255
who could smack the taste
out of your mouth.
392
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:37,657
Caruso couldn't spell
"solar system,"
393
00:17:37,691 --> 00:17:39,592
but since he could
kick both our asses,
394
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:42,495
that meant
the universe was his.
395
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:43,763
Yeah!
396
00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:46,299
At least we beat the Jell-O bug.
397
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,836
Wow, Mom, your hair looks great.
398
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,271
Thank you, baby.
399
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:52,706
Hey, Dad, can we get
Frosted Flakes
400
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:55,542
next time we go to the store?
I don't know.
401
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,344
Did you spend
all the food stamps?
402
00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:59,412
Hey, Mom, now that we
have fresh bread,
403
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,147
can we have French toast?
404
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:03,616
I've never had it when
the bread wasn't smashed.
405
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:06,419
Rochelle, I know you
don't wanna go to the movies,
406
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:07,787
but can you think about it?
407
00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:10,457
We're going to the movies?
Rocky III.
408
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,726
Oh!
If your mother wants to go.
409
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:15,662
Even though my mother cared
about what people thought,
410
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:19,899
she cared a little more
about what we thought.
411
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,935
I have a confession to make.
412
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,436
JULIUS:
What's wrong?
413
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,805
We don't have the money
to go to the movies.
414
00:18:25,839 --> 00:18:27,374
What are you talking about?
415
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:28,908
After your hair
and the light bill,
416
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,411
we should have
at least $30 left over.
417
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,513
I used it to buy groceries.
What?
418
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:36,616
I told you, I don't like
shopping with food stamps.
419
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,651
Sheila was in the store
when I was there
420
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,620
and I just got
a little embarrassed.
421
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:43,923
I didn't want her to think
we couldn't afford food.
422
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:49,295
You know what? Forget about it.
423
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:51,831
It's no big deal.
Money is money.
424
00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:55,268
We can still buy groceries
with food stamps.
425
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,836
You bought those name brands,
426
00:18:56,870 --> 00:19:00,807
so we gonna have to make it
stretch, so get generic.
427
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,742
We ain't got the food stamps.
428
00:19:02,776 --> 00:19:03,977
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
429
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:06,212
What?
I gave it to my hairdresser
430
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:07,614
to fix my perm.
431
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,216
That was $200 worth
of food stamps.
432
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,419
Baby, she only gave me
25 cents on the dollar.
433
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:13,620
What do you want me to do?
434
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,655
You couldn't
talk her up to 27 cent?
435
00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:20,226
You know what? Hey...
436
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,962
At least
you paid the light bill.
437
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,899
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
438
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,334
ROCHELLE:
Chris!
439
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:31,938
* Everybody hates Chris
440
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:33,373
CHRIS:
I didn't do anything.
441
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:36,543
ROCHELLE:
I know. I know.
442
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:41,381
Stay tuned for scenes
from our next episode.
443
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,350
[***]
444
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:47,654
* Aw, make it funky now