1
00:00:02,635 --> 00:00:04,237
[FUNK BEAT PLAYING]
2
00:00:04,270 --> 00:00:08,074
[SPORTS ANNOUNCER SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY OVER TV]
3
00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:09,342
Chris,
look at your sister.
4
00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:10,410
What happened to her?
5
00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:11,745
You weren't watching her,
6
00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:13,213
that's what happened to her.
7
00:00:13,246 --> 00:00:15,281
I told you I wanted a cookie.
8
00:00:15,315 --> 00:00:17,217
Mom, I just sat down
for a minute.
9
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:19,319
Do you know
what can happen in a minute?
10
00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:24,724
Now, go get your sister
washed up now.
11
00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:27,093
[SPORTS ANNOUNCER CONTINUES
INDISTINCTLY]
12
00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:28,428
Come on, Tonya.
13
00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:30,163
NARRATOR:
Thanks to Drew and Tonya,
14
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,498
I was taking care of kids
15
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,400
until I was taking care
of my own kids.
16
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,135
Chris, get me
some potato chips.
17
00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:36,670
Chris, help me
with my homework.
18
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,138
Chris, find
my doll.
19
00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:39,572
Make me a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich.
20
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:41,408
Make me Kool-Aid.
Strap up my shoe.
21
00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:43,176
Chris, I'm going
to take a shower.
22
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,177
Watch the kids.
23
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,179
Chris, tie my shoe!
24
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:48,114
Chris, I'm going
to pick up my Porgy's.
25
00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,315
Watch the kids!
26
00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:51,518
Chris, help!
My head is stuck!
27
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,586
Chris, I'm going to eat
some peanuts.
28
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:54,654
Watch the kids.
29
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:57,123
I'm going to get
my mustache waxed.
30
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:58,625
Watch the kids.
31
00:00:58,658 --> 00:00:59,693
Chris!
Chris!
32
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,628
Chris!
Chris!
33
00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:02,729
Chris!
Chris!
34
00:01:02,762 --> 00:01:05,098
[***]
35
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:13,139
* Aww, make it funky now
36
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,832
[SPORTS ANNOUNCER SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY OVER TV]
37
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:40,667
Whoa!
Whoa!
38
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:43,203
NARRATOR:
The one thing that
Drew and I did together
39
00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:45,672
was watch basketball games
andRockymovies.
40
00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,607
Tonight was basketball.
41
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,876
Whoa! See that shot?
Whoa!
42
00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:53,446
NARRATOR:
But since we only had one TV,
we had to share with Tonya,
43
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,482
and Tonya always got her way.
44
00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:58,218
Mama said I can watch
Three's Company.
45
00:01:58,251 --> 00:02:00,286
We're watching the game.
I don't care.
46
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:03,757
[REMOTE CONTROL CLICKS]
[***]
47
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:04,724
Move.
48
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,530
* Ooh, so you say
49
00:02:10,563 --> 00:02:11,865
Mm.
50
00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,933
Oh, hey, baby.
51
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,201
How was work?
52
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,336
Hard.
53
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,205
You know,
I was thinking
54
00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:22,275
that maybe we should go out,
you know?
55
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,244
Have dinner...
56
00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:26,212
relax a little.
57
00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:27,547
Why would I go out to relax,
58
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,649
when I can relax at home
for free?
59
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:32,519
NARRATOR:
That was my father's
rationale for everything.
60
00:02:32,552 --> 00:02:34,654
Twenty dollars
to get in the club?
61
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:37,357
We can dance at home
for free.
62
00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:39,526
I just wanted to
do something nice.
63
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:40,794
That's all.
64
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,462
I think staying home
is nice.
65
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,963
Well, you're not here
all day.
66
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,432
Well, why don't I
stay home,
67
00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:47,334
and you can go out
and work two jobs?
68
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,703
[SPEAKING IN MUFFLED
SLOW-MOTION]
I'm sorry.
69
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:52,939
NARRATOR:
Where's a time machine
where you could just go back
70
00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:54,507
and shut up?
71
00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:56,509
I did not mean-- I'm not
trying to take anything away
72
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:58,311
from what you do here.
That's okay.
73
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,246
If you don't want to go out,
you don't have to.
74
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,548
No, look--
It's okay, no.
75
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:02,716
Enough said.
76
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:05,685
It's over. Over.
77
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,688
NARRATOR:
There are two things
my father knew for sure:
78
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,557
He knew he knew nothing
for sure,
79
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:12,425
and he knew
this wasn't over.
80
00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:14,561
[***]
81
00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:18,898
KIDS:
Hey, Dad.
82
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,533
Hey, guys.
83
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,302
Y'all eating already?
84
00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:23,470
KIDS:
Mm-hmm.
85
00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:25,572
Where's your mother?
86
00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,007
KIDS:
In the kitchen.
87
00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:32,278
Hey, babe.
88
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,447
What's for dinner?
89
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,349
Well, the kids
are having chicken.
90
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,284
What about me?
91
00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:39,486
Well, you got two jobs.
92
00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:40,987
You could take
your two-job money
93
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,655
and go buy you
a two-job meal.
94
00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:47,761
I'm sorry, baby.
95
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:52,032
If you want to go out,
we can go out.
96
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,971
Thank you, baby, oh!
97
00:03:58,004 --> 00:03:59,472
I'll call
Sheila's babysitter
98
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,074
and tell her
she can come tomorrow.
99
00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:02,676
Why do we got to
pay a babysitter
100
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:04,511
when Chris'll do it for free?
101
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:06,579
No, he does it during
the day, not at night.
102
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:08,348
Rochelle, we don't
really need...
103
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:10,650
Do you want me
to make you some chicken?
104
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:15,522
Okay, well, I'm gonna
call Sheila's babysitter.
105
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,391
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
106
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:19,893
Hi, I'm Yvette.
107
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,561
Oh, okay,
come on in.
108
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,498
Okay, so I have
some chicken
109
00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:27,434
baking in the oven.
Just take it out
110
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:28,702
in about
20 minutes.
111
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,637
Chris and Drew
are gonna watch the game.
112
00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:32,739
What am I gonna do
while Chris and Drew
113
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:33,973
are watching the game?
114
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,508
Well,
you can hang with me.
115
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:37,410
I'll show you
how to do French braids.
116
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,678
Okay.
[CHUCKLES]
117
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,880
Yvette, I left the number
to the restaurant
118
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:42,382
by the phone.
119
00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:44,651
Now, call me if anything
goes wrong, okay?
120
00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:46,386
Everything's
gonna be fine.
121
00:04:46,419 --> 00:04:48,922
Chris, I don't want
that girl calling us.
122
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,657
So if there's
a problem...
123
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:51,758
handle it.
124
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,626
Me and your mother
don't go out often,
125
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,862
so I don't want
nothing to spoil it.
126
00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:57,364
Here.
127
00:04:57,397 --> 00:05:00,066
Whoa, what's this?
That's emergency money.
128
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,503
NARRATOR:
My father believed there's
nothing $10 couldn't fix.
129
00:05:03,536 --> 00:05:04,938
What if something
costs $11?
130
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,106
Talk them down to 10.
131
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,841
Got it.
132
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,577
Okay, you guys be good.
All right, Chris.
133
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:12,445
Call me if you need
anything, okay?
134
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,014
YVETTE: Okay.
Okay, bye, y'all.
135
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,615
Bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye, Dad.
136
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,418
JULIUS: Bye, sweetie.
Take your time and have fun.
137
00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:26,426
Welcome to Pastures
and Shores.
138
00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:27,660
May I take your order?
139
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:31,097
Okay, I'll have
the all-you-can-eat
140
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:33,433
shrimp and sirloin combo,
well done,
141
00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:35,435
order of coleslaw
and a Coke.
142
00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:36,836
And you, sir?
JULIUS: I'll have
143
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:40,140
the ultimate surf and turf
and a large Coke.
144
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:42,842
[CASHIER TYPING]
145
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:45,011
[REGISTER DINGS]
That'll be 17.99.
146
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,614
Ooh. Wait, baby.
147
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:49,416
Are you sure
we can afford this?
148
00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:52,052
It's okay.
I have coupons.
149
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:55,555
NARRATOR:
If there was a coupon for
something, my father had it.
150
00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:57,557
Whoa, whoa,
whoa!
151
00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:59,092
What's this?
152
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:01,795
A coupon--
No tickets on Tuesday.
153
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,532
This doesn't include
the all-you-can-eat
154
00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:06,866
shrimp and sirloin combo.
155
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,468
Oh, you know what?
156
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:09,803
I'll just order
something else.
157
00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:11,471
I'll take the--
No, it's okay.
158
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,006
I want everything
to be perfect.
159
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,808
Get what you want.
160
00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:16,543
I'll pay for it.
161
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,485
Is there a problem?
162
00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:27,554
Can I have my coupon?
163
00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:30,824
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:
...to Irving inside,
and Irving gets the basket.
164
00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:33,493
NARRATOR:
Having a babysitter
in the house was great,
165
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:36,496
because the only kid
I had to worry about was me.
166
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:38,631
[PHONE RINGS]
167
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:42,469
I'll be right back.
168
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:44,137
ANNOUNCER:
Sixers beat the Knicks
five out of six.
169
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,905
No, I can't talk right now.
170
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,907
NARRATOR:
My mother would never hire
someone
171
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,609
she thought was irresponsible.
172
00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:51,211
But irresponsible people
never tell you
173
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:54,681
that they're irresponsible--
because they're irresponsible!
174
00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:58,918
Chris, I gotta go.
175
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,254
What do you mean, you gotta go?
I got something
176
00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:02,922
I gotta do.
You are doing something!
177
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,725
You stayed with your brother
and sister before, right?
178
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,660
Yeah, but that's only
during the day.
179
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:10,530
You'll be fine.
I'll be right back.
180
00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:14,801
NARRATOR:
At that moment, I wanted to
bust her right upside the head.
181
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,236
I'm hungry.
182
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,173
ROCHELLE:
Oh, our food, yeah.
183
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:21,274
Oh.
184
00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:22,676
Thank you.
185
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,077
JULIUS:
I am hungry.
186
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,512
Thank you.
187
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:27,647
Oh, wait, wait.
Uh, excuse me.
188
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,783
I ordered coleslaw,
but this is potato salad.
189
00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:30,917
I'll get the manager.
190
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,652
We don't want
the manager.
191
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:33,953
We want coleslaw.
192
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,022
I'll get the manager.
193
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:41,961
Is there a problem?
194
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:45,632
Uh, my wife ordered coleslaw
and got potato salad.
195
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,100
I'm sorry
for the misunderstanding,
196
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,169
but that meal comes with
potato salad.
197
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,870
But I ordered coleslaw.
198
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,572
But it comes with
potato salad.
199
00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:53,773
We'd be happy
to sell you
200
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,241
a side of coleslaw
for 79 cents,
201
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,243
you just have
to get back in line.
202
00:07:57,277 --> 00:08:00,246
NARRATOR:
Never go out on the day
they give out welfare checks.
203
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,016
You got a thousand paper cups
of coleslaw back there.
204
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:05,151
You can't take this back
and bring her one?
205
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,587
Know what? Never mind.
Just bring me a bowl--
206
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,756
I'll have some of his
coleslaw. Not a problem.
207
00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:11,191
No, no,
can't do that, ma'am.
208
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,792
We have a no-sharing policy.
209
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:15,729
So what
you're telling me
210
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:16,863
is that I can't have
211
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,264
some of my husband's
coleslaw?
212
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,033
That's what you're
saying to me?
213
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:23,003
[LAUGHS]
You could, but we would
have to ask you to leave.
214
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,638
Heh. You know...
You know what?
215
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:26,906
You know what?
I eat at home.
216
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,608
That's why I cook
my own meals.
217
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:29,642
I'll get you
coleslaw.
218
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,111
Is there anything else?
219
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,612
Enjoy your meal.
220
00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:34,581
What the hell--
Does he think he's Mr. T?
221
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:36,282
Why is he acting like that?
It's okay.
222
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,151
This is our night,
it's our night.
223
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,853
You're right.
224
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:40,854
Oh, man.
225
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,189
What's that?
226
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,324
It's my baby.
227
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,092
You can't bring
that baby here.
228
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,661
Would you be quiet,
and let me handle this?
229
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,030
You can't bring
that baby here.
230
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,798
It'll just be
for a little while.
231
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:54,167
Did you bring something back
to eat? I'm hungry.
232
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:58,138
I forgot your mother put some
chicken in the oven for you.
233
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,778
I'm gonna run and get you guys
something to eat.
234
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:05,879
Watch the baby, okay?
235
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:07,213
You can't leave
your baby here.
236
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,149
Why not?
Because you're
babysitting.
237
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:11,651
I'm just going down
to Lincoln Fried Chicken.
238
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,319
What if he gets hungry?
Or throws up?
239
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:14,688
He won't-- It'll be fine.
240
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,022
I'll be right back.
241
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,791
NARRATOR:
At that moment, I was sure
242
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:19,793
of two things:
I wasn't gonna be fine,
243
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,861
and she wasn't gonna be
right back.
244
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:25,265
* Everybody hates Chris
245
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,367
[BABY GURGLING]
246
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:34,874
[***]
247
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:37,043
What's this?
248
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,979
Why didn't they just
give you a cup of coleslaw?
249
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,047
It's this big.
250
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,982
It'll be here
in a few minutes.
251
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,284
[SIGHS]
252
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:45,919
Where you going?
I'm going to check
253
00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:48,288
on the kids.
The kids are fine...
254
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,956
I'm just going to check, okay?
255
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,036
DREW:
Whoa-- A behind the back,
off the backboard dunk!
256
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:04,871
Chris, man,
you're missing it!
257
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:05,739
Come on!
258
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,073
Shh, would you be quiet?
259
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,142
Stop yelling
and turn the TV down.
260
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,344
You think she's coming back?
She better.
261
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:13,713
[PHONE RINGING]
262
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:23,823
Hello.
263
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,892
Hey, baby, how's it going?
264
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,060
CHRIS:
Good.
265
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:28,361
[BABY COOING]
266
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:29,729
Is that a baby?
267
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,831
No, it's the TV.
[CONTINUES COOING]
268
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,233
Oh. Well, where's Yvette?
269
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:34,968
She's in the bathroom.
270
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:37,404
Okay. We'll be home
in a little while, all right?
271
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:38,838
Okay.
272
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,140
Okay, love you.
All right, bye.
273
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,075
NARRATOR:
I know you're thinking:
274
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:44,411
"Why didn't I just tell
my mother what was going on?"
275
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:47,714
Well, I figured
it couldn't get any worse.
276
00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:49,115
Hi, um, is Yvette here?
277
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,985
She just left.
And who are you?
278
00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:54,854
I'm Mario.
Is that my baby?
279
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,891
I don't know, is it?
280
00:10:57,924 --> 00:11:00,226
I know.
He takes after his mom.
281
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,996
NARRATOR:
We didn't know
if it was his baby, either.
282
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:05,832
But trust me, there ain't
no black man picking up a baby
283
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:08,201
that ain't his.
284
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:10,470
What's he doing here?
Where did she go?
285
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,138
She went to get us
something to eat.
286
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,841
She's babysitting us.
My boy...
287
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:16,276
TONYA:
Where you think
you're going?
288
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:18,511
You can't just leave
with somebody's baby.
289
00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:20,013
Look,
when she comes back,
290
00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:21,948
tell her I'll be over
my mother's house.
291
00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:23,917
DREW:
Whoa! Chris,
you should've seen it!
292
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:26,152
Bernard King hit a shot
from the top of the key,
293
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:29,022
stole it and hit another one
right before the half!
294
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:30,724
I'm hungry.
295
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,497
NARRATOR:
Sometimes my father
would be so focused
296
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,065
on everything going right,
297
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,867
he didn't realize
he was the reason
298
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,168
it was going wrong.
299
00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:44,170
It's okay.
300
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:47,107
Your coleslaw will be here
any minute.
301
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,509
Why do you make
such a big deal out of nothing?
302
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,444
Because I spent good money
on this.
303
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:53,046
I expect it to be good.
304
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:55,448
Well, is it about the money
or is it about me?
305
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,017
Why would you
even ask me that?
306
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,818
We have been waiting
30 minutes
307
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,820
for a Dixie Cup
full of coleslaw.
308
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,088
Think about it.
309
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:04,224
Never mind.
310
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,092
Oh, finally!
311
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:14,200
Enjoy your coleslaw.
312
00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:19,239
I'm sorry.
313
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,808
I don't get to take you out
as much as I'd like.
314
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,009
It's okay, baby.
315
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:25,145
I just want everything
to be right.
316
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:28,481
But as long as I'm with you,
everything's perfect.
317
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,050
I love you--
[DOORS SWING OPEN]
318
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,051
MAN:
Everybody down!
319
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,385
Get down!
Now!
320
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,187
Damn it!
321
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,590
Hey.
Hey.
322
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:40,326
NARRATOR:
Isn't it funny how
irresponsible people think
323
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,362
they can change the world
with chicken?
324
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,864
Chris, man, this is the
best game I ever seen.
325
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:45,965
You gotta come watch.
326
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,300
Chris,
where's the baby?
327
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,102
His father took him.
328
00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:50,837
You gave my baby
to a stranger?
329
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:52,339
No, to his father.
330
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:53,840
That could be anybody.
331
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,076
He asked for you
at the door.
332
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,544
And the baby said
"Da-Da."
333
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:58,611
Who else could it be?
334
00:12:58,645 --> 00:12:59,612
I don't know!
335
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:00,613
Where'd they go?
336
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:02,148
To his mother's house.
337
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,985
I know--
You'll be right back.
338
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,188
[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY ON TV]
339
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:10,190
Whoo! Yeah!
340
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,225
NARRATOR:
As bad as things were going,
341
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:14,961
I could always count on
one person to make things go
342
00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:16,596
from bad to worse.
343
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,932
[PHONE RINGING]
344
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,167
Hello?
345
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,902
Hello? I'm looking
for my parents.
346
00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,537
They're having dinner
there tonight.
347
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,139
I think you got
the wrong number.
348
00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:27,507
This ain't no restaurant.
349
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:28,875
Tonya,
what are you doing?
350
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:30,143
Hey! What are you doing?
351
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:32,245
I'm calling Mom.
I'm answering the phone!
352
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:34,147
Are you trying
to mess everything up?
353
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:36,416
You gonna mess everything up.
Just put the money in there!
354
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,318
Mom said call
if anything went wrong.
355
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,920
Something went wrong,
so I'm calling.
356
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:43,089
Tonya, no.
They're on a date.
357
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:45,225
If you call, you're
gonna mess everything up.
358
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:48,028
Then Mama will be mad at Dad,
Dad will be mad at me.
359
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,929
Just let me
handle this, okay?
360
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,231
All I know is
361
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,867
somebody better
French braid my hair.
362
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:57,337
Give me the money,
big man!
363
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,239
Just watch where
you point that thing.
364
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,174
ROBBER 1:
Don't tell me
where to watch.
365
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,143
I'll point this
wherever I want.
366
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,111
Julius,
just be quiet.
367
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:06,913
You better listen
to your girl.
368
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:08,648
Hey, that's not my girl,
that's my wife.
369
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,083
ROBBER 2:
Hey, man, come on,
370
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:11,618
just get the money
and let's go.
371
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,386
No, man over here
trying to be a hero.
372
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,921
ROBBER 2:
Hey, come on,
I got this.
373
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:16,122
I got this.
374
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:18,658
Chelle?
375
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:19,959
Huh?
376
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,161
Is that you?
377
00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:23,663
It's me, Ricky!
378
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,365
Remember? From Flatbush!
379
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:29,069
I'm sorry, I-I don't believe
I know who you are.
380
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,470
I used to be at the club
381
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:32,038
with Shine and them,
remember?
382
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,406
We used to pop lock.
383
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,976
[GRUNTS]
384
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,045
Remember?
385
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:40,947
[GASPS]
Ricky Edwards?
386
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:42,148
Donna's brother!
387
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,117
Yeah! Yeah!
How you been?
388
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:47,354
Oh, good till now.
How you been?
389
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,555
Oh, I'm hanging in there.
390
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:49,723
All right.
391
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:51,624
Hey, since you all
so tight,
392
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,226
why don't you
just let us slide?
393
00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:56,396
Hey, man, if it was up to me,
I would.
394
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,631
But my partner...crazy.
395
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:01,401
So you all going to have
to put something in the bag.
396
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,037
Why don't we pretend
we put something in the bag?
397
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,205
Because this ain't
no pretend robbery!
398
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,640
Julius, just give him
the money.
399
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:10,610
Um, can you just leave us
a little for the babysitter?
400
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:11,644
You know how it is.
401
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,380
You got kids?
402
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,948
Boy, I got three!
403
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,451
Two boys
and a girl!
404
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:19,986
Kids, they a blessing.
405
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:21,121
Yeah,
love of my life.
406
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,322
Dig. Look,
just give me 20.
407
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:24,090
Hurry up
before my man see you.
408
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:26,693
Give him, give him!
Hurry, before my partner sees.
409
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,764
Chelle...
It was good seeing you, girl.
410
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:32,198
Aw, you too, man.
411
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:34,668
Hey!
Don't tell nobody I did this.
412
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,037
[***]
413
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,507
Hello.
TONYA: Hi.
414
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:41,508
Is Yvette here?
415
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:42,542
Who are you?
416
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,010
I'm her mother.
417
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:45,278
I came to pick up
the baby.
418
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:47,614
His father took him.
Where's Yvette?
419
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:49,149
She said
she'll be right back.
420
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:52,018
Then again, she said that
30 minutes ago.
421
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:54,421
You mind if I come in
and wait for her?
422
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,389
Come in.
423
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,563
Is everybody okay?
424
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,432
No, we're not okay, man,
425
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,434
we just got robbed.
Julius...
426
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,402
NARRATOR:
After everything that happened,
427
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,604
you would expect
my mother's reaction
428
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,273
to be a little like this...
429
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,042
You are such a brave man.
430
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:18,545
Oh, baby, thank you
for taking me to dinner
431
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:21,047
and standing up
to those robbers.
432
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:22,816
Oh, baby,
I love you so much.
433
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:25,752
NARRATOR:
Instead, it went
a little something like this.
434
00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:28,254
Are you crazy?
435
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:30,790
What was you thinking, arguing
with a masked gunman?
436
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,625
You could have
been killed!
437
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:33,827
Do you think
I got married
438
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,495
to raise three kids
by myself?
439
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:38,465
The next time somebody
tries to rob us...
440
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,600
get robbed!
441
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,302
Let's go!
442
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:47,173
Here's a coupon for
a free meal
443
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,075
if you decide
to come back again.
444
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,211
Thanks, man.
Julius!
445
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,380
Take two.
Good luck.
446
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:59,586
[BASKETBALL GAME PLAYING
INDISTINCTLY ON TV]
447
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,456
What happened to
your hair?
448
00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,225
Yvette said she was
gonna teach me
449
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,659
how to French braid.
450
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,395
Does Yvette live with you?
451
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:09,362
Yes. Why?
452
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,197
My mama said
if I have a baby
453
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:12,665
before I get married,
454
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,134
she says
she's putting me out
455
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:15,802
because she ain't raising
no babies.
456
00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:18,238
You like raising babies?
No.
457
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,106
How come you
didn't put her out?
458
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,675
How old are you?
459
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,276
Nine.
460
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:25,111
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
461
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,813
I'll get it!
462
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:29,549
You mother's here.
463
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,355
Chris, this is the best game
I ever seen!
464
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,389
You gotta come watch!
465
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,695
How come you didn't tell me
you were babysitting?
466
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,296
Why are you in my business?
467
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:45,699
You live in my house,
you don't have any business.
468
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,367
I don't have
to live at your house.
469
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,635
I'll move in
with Mario.
470
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,136
You think
Mario's mother
471
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:51,838
wants to deal with you?
You need a job.
472
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:53,606
Why do you think
I'm babysitting?
473
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:54,674
You weren't even here.
474
00:17:54,708 --> 00:17:55,909
I was coming right back.
475
00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:57,544
Hey, hey!
That's enough.
476
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,546
Excuse me?
CHRIS: You gotta leave,
477
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,614
and take that baby with you.
Fine!
478
00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:03,149
Not you, her.
479
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,884
I don't know if that's
such a good idea.
480
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,419
CHRIS:
If my mom comes home
481
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:07,854
and finds out
what happened,
482
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,823
she's gonna ask me
why I didn't tell her.
483
00:18:09,856 --> 00:18:11,157
And I'm gonna say
484
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:12,559
because my dad
told me not to.
485
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,894
And then she's gonna
curse him out and kill me.
486
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,296
[SIGHS]
487
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:17,564
When are you
coming home?
488
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,567
As soon as his
mom and dad come back.
489
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,569
[BABY COOING]
490
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:27,474
Are you still
gonna teach me
491
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:28,875
how to French braid
my hair?
492
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,410
Yeah. Heh.
493
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,612
Oh, Chris, why don't you
go watch your game?
494
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:35,448
Three, two, one!
495
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:36,583
Oh, man!
496
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:40,320
That was a good game!
Heh, heh.
497
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:41,521
[CHANGES CHANNEL]
498
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:42,889
WOMAN 1 [ON TV]:
What are you doing here?
499
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,491
WOMAN 2 [ON TV]:
I came for the makeover!
500
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,393
Everything went okay?
Everything went so good.
501
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:47,594
We had so much fun.
502
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,262
ROCHELLE: Good!
YVETTE: They were good.
503
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,330
We should do it
again.
504
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,531
ROCHELLE:
For sure!
505
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,667
Maybe we could go
to a movie next time.
506
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,569
NARRATOR:
I wanted this to be
a good night for my parents.
507
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:59,806
and I didn't want my father to
think I couldn't handle things.
508
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,842
So I decided to keep
everything that happened...
509
00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:04,411
to myself.
510
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,646
JULIUS:
Yvette,
are you free next Friday?
511
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:07,881
No, no, no, no, no!
512
00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:09,382
She left us to go get a baby.
513
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:11,451
When she came back,
she burnt your chicken.
514
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,486
Then, this guy came
to the door asking for the baby.
515
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,622
His name was Mario
and was the baby's father.
516
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,323
When he left,
she came back,
517
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:18,491
and the baby wasn't here.
518
00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,427
She went
to get the baby back,
519
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,328
her mother came to the door
looking for her and the baby.
520
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:23,863
They had a fight
about where to live.
521
00:19:23,897 --> 00:19:26,633
She said she'd live at Mario's
house. Who is Mario?
522
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,435
When she came back,
she braided Tonya's hair.
523
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:30,270
Drew got to watch the game,
you guys came back.
524
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,372
She's trying to make it look
like everything
525
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,374
was all peachy and fine.
It's not!
526
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,776
[***]
527
00:19:36,810 --> 00:19:40,447
I told you we should have
let Chris babysit.
528
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,248
Girl, give me
my money back.
529
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:44,284
I'mma kick her ass.
530
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:45,919
Hold my wig.
[BELL RINGS]
531
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:51,524
* Everybody hates Chris
532
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:54,661
NARRATOR:
Stay tuned for scenes
from our next episode.
533
00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:59,265
[***]
534
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,969
* Aww, make it funky now