1 00:00:02,635 --> 00:00:04,237 [FUNK BEAT PLAYING] 2 00:00:04,270 --> 00:00:08,074 [SPORTS ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER TV] 3 00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:09,342 Chris, look at your sister. 4 00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:10,410 What happened to her? 5 00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:11,745 You weren't watching her, 6 00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:13,213 that's what happened to her. 7 00:00:13,246 --> 00:00:15,281 I told you I wanted a cookie. 8 00:00:15,315 --> 00:00:17,217 Mom, I just sat down for a minute. 9 00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:19,319 Do you know what can happen in a minute? 10 00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:24,724 Now, go get your sister washed up now. 11 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:27,093 [SPORTS ANNOUNCER CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY] 12 00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:28,428 Come on, Tonya. 13 00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:30,163 NARRATOR: Thanks to Drew and Tonya, 14 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,498 I was taking care of kids 15 00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,400 until I was taking care of my own kids. 16 00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:35,135 Chris, get me some potato chips. 17 00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:36,670 Chris, help me with my homework. 18 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,138 Chris, find my doll. 19 00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:39,572 Make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 20 00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:41,408 Make me Kool-Aid. Strap up my shoe. 21 00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:43,176 Chris, I'm going to take a shower. 22 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,177 Watch the kids. 23 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,179 Chris, tie my shoe! 24 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:48,114 Chris, I'm going to pick up my Porgy's. 25 00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,315 Watch the kids! 26 00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:51,518 Chris, help! My head is stuck! 27 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,586 Chris, I'm going to eat some peanuts. 28 00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:54,654 Watch the kids. 29 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:57,123 I'm going to get my mustache waxed. 30 00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:58,625 Watch the kids. 31 00:00:58,658 --> 00:00:59,693 Chris! Chris! 32 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,628 Chris! Chris! 33 00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:02,729 Chris! Chris! 34 00:01:02,762 --> 00:01:05,098 [***] 35 00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:13,139 * Aww, make it funky now 36 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,832 [SPORTS ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER TV] 37 00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:40,667 Whoa! Whoa! 38 00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:43,203 NARRATOR: The one thing that Drew and I did together 39 00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:45,672 was watch basketball games andRockymovies. 40 00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,607 Tonight was basketball. 41 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,876 Whoa! See that shot? Whoa! 42 00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:53,446 NARRATOR: But since we only had one TV, we had to share with Tonya, 43 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,482 and Tonya always got her way. 44 00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:58,218 Mama said I can watch Three's Company. 45 00:01:58,251 --> 00:02:00,286 We're watching the game. I don't care. 46 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:03,757 [REMOTE CONTROL CLICKS] [***] 47 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:04,724 Move. 48 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,530 * Ooh, so you say 49 00:02:10,563 --> 00:02:11,865 Mm. 50 00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,933 Oh, hey, baby. 51 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,201 How was work? 52 00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,336 Hard. 53 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,205 You know, I was thinking 54 00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:22,275 that maybe we should go out, you know? 55 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,244 Have dinner... 56 00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:26,212 relax a little. 57 00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:27,547 Why would I go out to relax, 58 00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,649 when I can relax at home for free? 59 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:32,519 NARRATOR: That was my father's rationale for everything. 60 00:02:32,552 --> 00:02:34,654 Twenty dollars to get in the club? 61 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:37,357 We can dance at home for free. 62 00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:39,526 I just wanted to do something nice. 63 00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:40,794 That's all. 64 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,462 I think staying home is nice. 65 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,963 Well, you're not here all day. 66 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,432 Well, why don't I stay home, 67 00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:47,334 and you can go out and work two jobs? 68 00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,703 [SPEAKING IN MUFFLED SLOW-MOTION] I'm sorry. 69 00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:52,939 NARRATOR: Where's a time machine where you could just go back 70 00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:54,507 and shut up? 71 00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:56,509 I did not mean-- I'm not trying to take anything away 72 00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:58,311 from what you do here. That's okay. 73 00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,246 If you don't want to go out, you don't have to. 74 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,548 No, look-- It's okay, no. 75 00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:02,716 Enough said. 76 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:05,685 It's over. Over. 77 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,688 NARRATOR: There are two things my father knew for sure: 78 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,557 He knew he knew nothing for sure, 79 00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:12,425 and he knew this wasn't over. 80 00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:14,561 [***] 81 00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:18,898 KIDS: Hey, Dad. 82 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,533 Hey, guys. 83 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,302 Y'all eating already? 84 00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:23,470 KIDS: Mm-hmm. 85 00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:25,572 Where's your mother? 86 00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,007 KIDS: In the kitchen. 87 00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:32,278 Hey, babe. 88 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,447 What's for dinner? 89 00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,349 Well, the kids are having chicken. 90 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,284 What about me? 91 00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:39,486 Well, you got two jobs. 92 00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:40,987 You could take your two-job money 93 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,655 and go buy you a two-job meal. 94 00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:47,761 I'm sorry, baby. 95 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:52,032 If you want to go out, we can go out. 96 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,971 Thank you, baby, oh! 97 00:03:58,004 --> 00:03:59,472 I'll call Sheila's babysitter 98 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,074 and tell her she can come tomorrow. 99 00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:02,676 Why do we got to pay a babysitter 100 00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:04,511 when Chris'll do it for free? 101 00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:06,579 No, he does it during the day, not at night. 102 00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:08,348 Rochelle, we don't really need... 103 00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:10,650 Do you want me to make you some chicken? 104 00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:15,522 Okay, well, I'm gonna call Sheila's babysitter. 105 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,391 [DOORBELL BUZZES] 106 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:19,893 Hi, I'm Yvette. 107 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,561 Oh, okay, come on in. 108 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,498 Okay, so I have some chicken 109 00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:27,434 baking in the oven. Just take it out 110 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:28,702 in about 20 minutes. 111 00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,637 Chris and Drew are gonna watch the game. 112 00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:32,739 What am I gonna do while Chris and Drew 113 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:33,973 are watching the game? 114 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,508 Well, you can hang with me. 115 00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:37,410 I'll show you how to do French braids. 116 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,678 Okay. [CHUCKLES] 117 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,880 Yvette, I left the number to the restaurant 118 00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:42,382 by the phone. 119 00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:44,651 Now, call me if anything goes wrong, okay? 120 00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:46,386 Everything's gonna be fine. 121 00:04:46,419 --> 00:04:48,922 Chris, I don't want that girl calling us. 122 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,657 So if there's a problem... 123 00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:51,758 handle it. 124 00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,626 Me and your mother don't go out often, 125 00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,862 so I don't want nothing to spoil it. 126 00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:57,364 Here. 127 00:04:57,397 --> 00:05:00,066 Whoa, what's this? That's emergency money. 128 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,503 NARRATOR: My father believed there's nothing $10 couldn't fix. 129 00:05:03,536 --> 00:05:04,938 What if something costs $11? 130 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,106 Talk them down to 10. 131 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,841 Got it. 132 00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,577 Okay, you guys be good. All right, Chris. 133 00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:12,445 Call me if you need anything, okay? 134 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,014 YVETTE: Okay. Okay, bye, y'all. 135 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,615 Bye. Bye-bye. Bye, Dad. 136 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,418 JULIUS: Bye, sweetie. Take your time and have fun. 137 00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:26,426 Welcome to Pastures and Shores. 138 00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:27,660 May I take your order? 139 00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:31,097 Okay, I'll have the all-you-can-eat 140 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:33,433 shrimp and sirloin combo, well done, 141 00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:35,435 order of coleslaw and a Coke. 142 00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:36,836 And you, sir? JULIUS: I'll have 143 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:40,140 the ultimate surf and turf and a large Coke. 144 00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:42,842 [CASHIER TYPING] 145 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:45,011 [REGISTER DINGS] That'll be 17.99. 146 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,614 Ooh. Wait, baby. 147 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:49,416 Are you sure we can afford this? 148 00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:52,052 It's okay. I have coupons. 149 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:55,555 NARRATOR: If there was a coupon for something, my father had it. 150 00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:57,557 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 151 00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:59,092 What's this? 152 00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:01,795 A coupon-- No tickets on Tuesday. 153 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,532 This doesn't include the all-you-can-eat 154 00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:06,866 shrimp and sirloin combo. 155 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,468 Oh, you know what? 156 00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:09,803 I'll just order something else. 157 00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:11,471 I'll take the-- No, it's okay. 158 00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,006 I want everything to be perfect. 159 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,808 Get what you want. 160 00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:16,543 I'll pay for it. 161 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,485 Is there a problem? 162 00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:27,554 Can I have my coupon? 163 00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:30,824 ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: ...to Irving inside, and Irving gets the basket. 164 00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:33,493 NARRATOR: Having a babysitter in the house was great, 165 00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:36,496 because the only kid I had to worry about was me. 166 00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:38,631 [PHONE RINGS] 167 00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:42,469 I'll be right back. 168 00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:44,137 ANNOUNCER: Sixers beat the Knicks five out of six. 169 00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,905 No, I can't talk right now. 170 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,907 NARRATOR: My mother would never hire someone 171 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,609 she thought was irresponsible. 172 00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:51,211 But irresponsible people never tell you 173 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:54,681 that they're irresponsible-- because they're irresponsible! 174 00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:58,918 Chris, I gotta go. 175 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,254 What do you mean, you gotta go? I got something 176 00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:02,922 I gotta do. You are doing something! 177 00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,725 You stayed with your brother and sister before, right? 178 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,660 Yeah, but that's only during the day. 179 00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:10,530 You'll be fine. I'll be right back. 180 00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:14,801 NARRATOR: At that moment, I wanted to bust her right upside the head. 181 00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,236 I'm hungry. 182 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,173 ROCHELLE: Oh, our food, yeah. 183 00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:21,274 Oh. 184 00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:22,676 Thank you. 185 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,077 JULIUS: I am hungry. 186 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,512 Thank you. 187 00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:27,647 Oh, wait, wait. Uh, excuse me. 188 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,783 I ordered coleslaw, but this is potato salad. 189 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:30,917 I'll get the manager. 190 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,652 We don't want the manager. 191 00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:33,953 We want coleslaw. 192 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,022 I'll get the manager. 193 00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:41,961 Is there a problem? 194 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:45,632 Uh, my wife ordered coleslaw and got potato salad. 195 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,100 I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, 196 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,169 but that meal comes with potato salad. 197 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,870 But I ordered coleslaw. 198 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,572 But it comes with potato salad. 199 00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:53,773 We'd be happy to sell you 200 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,241 a side of coleslaw for 79 cents, 201 00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,243 you just have to get back in line. 202 00:07:57,277 --> 00:08:00,246 NARRATOR: Never go out on the day they give out welfare checks. 203 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,016 You got a thousand paper cups of coleslaw back there. 204 00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:05,151 You can't take this back and bring her one? 205 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,587 Know what? Never mind. Just bring me a bowl-- 206 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,756 I'll have some of his coleslaw. Not a problem. 207 00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:11,191 No, no, can't do that, ma'am. 208 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,792 We have a no-sharing policy. 209 00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:15,729 So what you're telling me 210 00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:16,863 is that I can't have 211 00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,264 some of my husband's coleslaw? 212 00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,033 That's what you're saying to me? 213 00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:23,003 [LAUGHS] You could, but we would have to ask you to leave. 214 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,638 Heh. You know... You know what? 215 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:26,906 You know what? I eat at home. 216 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,608 That's why I cook my own meals. 217 00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:29,642 I'll get you coleslaw. 218 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,111 Is there anything else? 219 00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,612 Enjoy your meal. 220 00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:34,581 What the hell-- Does he think he's Mr. T? 221 00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:36,282 Why is he acting like that? It's okay. 222 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,151 This is our night, it's our night. 223 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,853 You're right. 224 00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:40,854 Oh, man. 225 00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,189 What's that? 226 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,324 It's my baby. 227 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,092 You can't bring that baby here. 228 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,661 Would you be quiet, and let me handle this? 229 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,030 You can't bring that baby here. 230 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,798 It'll just be for a little while. 231 00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:54,167 Did you bring something back to eat? I'm hungry. 232 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:58,138 I forgot your mother put some chicken in the oven for you. 233 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,778 I'm gonna run and get you guys something to eat. 234 00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:05,879 Watch the baby, okay? 235 00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:07,213 You can't leave your baby here. 236 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,149 Why not? Because you're babysitting. 237 00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:11,651 I'm just going down to Lincoln Fried Chicken. 238 00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,319 What if he gets hungry? Or throws up? 239 00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:14,688 He won't-- It'll be fine. 240 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,022 I'll be right back. 241 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,791 NARRATOR: At that moment, I was sure 242 00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:19,793 of two things: I wasn't gonna be fine, 243 00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,861 and she wasn't gonna be right back. 244 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:25,265 * Everybody hates Chris 245 00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,367 [BABY GURGLING] 246 00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:34,874 [***] 247 00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:37,043 What's this? 248 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,979 Why didn't they just give you a cup of coleslaw? 249 00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,047 It's this big. 250 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,982 It'll be here in a few minutes. 251 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,284 [SIGHS] 252 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:45,919 Where you going? I'm going to check 253 00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:48,288 on the kids. The kids are fine... 254 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,956 I'm just going to check, okay? 255 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,036 DREW: Whoa-- A behind the back, off the backboard dunk! 256 00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:04,871 Chris, man, you're missing it! 257 00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:05,739 Come on! 258 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,073 Shh, would you be quiet? 259 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,142 Stop yelling and turn the TV down. 260 00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,344 You think she's coming back? She better. 261 00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:13,713 [PHONE RINGING] 262 00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:23,823 Hello. 263 00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,892 Hey, baby, how's it going? 264 00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,060 CHRIS: Good. 265 00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:28,361 [BABY COOING] 266 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:29,729 Is that a baby? 267 00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,831 No, it's the TV. [CONTINUES COOING] 268 00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,233 Oh. Well, where's Yvette? 269 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:34,968 She's in the bathroom. 270 00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:37,404 Okay. We'll be home in a little while, all right? 271 00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:38,838 Okay. 272 00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,140 Okay, love you. All right, bye. 273 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,075 NARRATOR: I know you're thinking: 274 00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:44,411 "Why didn't I just tell my mother what was going on?" 275 00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:47,714 Well, I figured it couldn't get any worse. 276 00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:49,115 Hi, um, is Yvette here? 277 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,985 She just left. And who are you? 278 00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:54,854 I'm Mario. Is that my baby? 279 00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,891 I don't know, is it? 280 00:10:57,924 --> 00:11:00,226 I know. He takes after his mom. 281 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,996 NARRATOR: We didn't know if it was his baby, either. 282 00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:05,832 But trust me, there ain't no black man picking up a baby 283 00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:08,201 that ain't his. 284 00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:10,470 What's he doing here? Where did she go? 285 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,138 She went to get us something to eat. 286 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,841 She's babysitting us. My boy... 287 00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:16,276 TONYA: Where you think you're going? 288 00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:18,511 You can't just leave with somebody's baby. 289 00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:20,013 Look, when she comes back, 290 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:21,948 tell her I'll be over my mother's house. 291 00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:23,917 DREW: Whoa! Chris, you should've seen it! 292 00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:26,152 Bernard King hit a shot from the top of the key, 293 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:29,022 stole it and hit another one right before the half! 294 00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:30,724 I'm hungry. 295 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,497 NARRATOR: Sometimes my father would be so focused 296 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,065 on everything going right, 297 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,867 he didn't realize he was the reason 298 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,168 it was going wrong. 299 00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:44,170 It's okay. 300 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:47,107 Your coleslaw will be here any minute. 301 00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,509 Why do you make such a big deal out of nothing? 302 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,444 Because I spent good money on this. 303 00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:53,046 I expect it to be good. 304 00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:55,448 Well, is it about the money or is it about me? 305 00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,017 Why would you even ask me that? 306 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,818 We have been waiting 30 minutes 307 00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,820 for a Dixie Cup full of coleslaw. 308 00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,088 Think about it. 309 00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:04,224 Never mind. 310 00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,092 Oh, finally! 311 00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:14,200 Enjoy your coleslaw. 312 00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:19,239 I'm sorry. 313 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,808 I don't get to take you out as much as I'd like. 314 00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,009 It's okay, baby. 315 00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:25,145 I just want everything to be right. 316 00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:28,481 But as long as I'm with you, everything's perfect. 317 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,050 I love you-- [DOORS SWING OPEN] 318 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,051 MAN: Everybody down! 319 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,385 Get down! Now! 320 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,187 Damn it! 321 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,590 Hey. Hey. 322 00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:40,326 NARRATOR: Isn't it funny how irresponsible people think 323 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,362 they can change the world with chicken? 324 00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,864 Chris, man, this is the best game I ever seen. 325 00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:45,965 You gotta come watch. 326 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,300 Chris, where's the baby? 327 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,102 His father took him. 328 00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:50,837 You gave my baby to a stranger? 329 00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:52,339 No, to his father. 330 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:53,840 That could be anybody. 331 00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,076 He asked for you at the door. 332 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,544 And the baby said "Da-Da." 333 00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:58,611 Who else could it be? 334 00:12:58,645 --> 00:12:59,612 I don't know! 335 00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:00,613 Where'd they go? 336 00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:02,148 To his mother's house. 337 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,985 I know-- You'll be right back. 338 00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,188 [ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV] 339 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:10,190 Whoo! Yeah! 340 00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,225 NARRATOR: As bad as things were going, 341 00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:14,961 I could always count on one person to make things go 342 00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:16,596 from bad to worse. 343 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,932 [PHONE RINGING] 344 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,167 Hello? 345 00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,902 Hello? I'm looking for my parents. 346 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,537 They're having dinner there tonight. 347 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,139 I think you got the wrong number. 348 00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:27,507 This ain't no restaurant. 349 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:28,875 Tonya, what are you doing? 350 00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:30,143 Hey! What are you doing? 351 00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:32,245 I'm calling Mom. I'm answering the phone! 352 00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:34,147 Are you trying to mess everything up? 353 00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:36,416 You gonna mess everything up. Just put the money in there! 354 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,318 Mom said call if anything went wrong. 355 00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,920 Something went wrong, so I'm calling. 356 00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:43,089 Tonya, no. They're on a date. 357 00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:45,225 If you call, you're gonna mess everything up. 358 00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:48,028 Then Mama will be mad at Dad, Dad will be mad at me. 359 00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,929 Just let me handle this, okay? 360 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,231 All I know is 361 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,867 somebody better French braid my hair. 362 00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:57,337 Give me the money, big man! 363 00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,239 Just watch where you point that thing. 364 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,174 ROBBER 1: Don't tell me where to watch. 365 00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,143 I'll point this wherever I want. 366 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,111 Julius, just be quiet. 367 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:06,913 You better listen to your girl. 368 00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:08,648 Hey, that's not my girl, that's my wife. 369 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,083 ROBBER 2: Hey, man, come on, 370 00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:11,618 just get the money and let's go. 371 00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,386 No, man over here trying to be a hero. 372 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,921 ROBBER 2: Hey, come on, I got this. 373 00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:16,122 I got this. 374 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:18,658 Chelle? 375 00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:19,959 Huh? 376 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,161 Is that you? 377 00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:23,663 It's me, Ricky! 378 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,365 Remember? From Flatbush! 379 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:29,069 I'm sorry, I-I don't believe I know who you are. 380 00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,470 I used to be at the club 381 00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:32,038 with Shine and them, remember? 382 00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,406 We used to pop lock. 383 00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,976 [GRUNTS] 384 00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,045 Remember? 385 00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:40,947 [GASPS] Ricky Edwards? 386 00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:42,148 Donna's brother! 387 00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,117 Yeah! Yeah! How you been? 388 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:47,354 Oh, good till now. How you been? 389 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,555 Oh, I'm hanging in there. 390 00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:49,723 All right. 391 00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:51,624 Hey, since you all so tight, 392 00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,226 why don't you just let us slide? 393 00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:56,396 Hey, man, if it was up to me, I would. 394 00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,631 But my partner...crazy. 395 00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:01,401 So you all going to have to put something in the bag. 396 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,037 Why don't we pretend we put something in the bag? 397 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,205 Because this ain't no pretend robbery! 398 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,640 Julius, just give him the money. 399 00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:10,610 Um, can you just leave us a little for the babysitter? 400 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:11,644 You know how it is. 401 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,380 You got kids? 402 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,948 Boy, I got three! 403 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,451 Two boys and a girl! 404 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:19,986 Kids, they a blessing. 405 00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:21,121 Yeah, love of my life. 406 00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,322 Dig. Look, just give me 20. 407 00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:24,090 Hurry up before my man see you. 408 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:26,693 Give him, give him! Hurry, before my partner sees. 409 00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,764 Chelle... It was good seeing you, girl. 410 00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:32,198 Aw, you too, man. 411 00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:34,668 Hey! Don't tell nobody I did this. 412 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,037 [***] 413 00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,507 Hello. TONYA: Hi. 414 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:41,508 Is Yvette here? 415 00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:42,542 Who are you? 416 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,010 I'm her mother. 417 00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:45,278 I came to pick up the baby. 418 00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:47,614 His father took him. Where's Yvette? 419 00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:49,149 She said she'll be right back. 420 00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:52,018 Then again, she said that 30 minutes ago. 421 00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:54,421 You mind if I come in and wait for her? 422 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,389 Come in. 423 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,563 Is everybody okay? 424 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,432 No, we're not okay, man, 425 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,434 we just got robbed. Julius... 426 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,402 NARRATOR: After everything that happened, 427 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,604 you would expect my mother's reaction 428 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,273 to be a little like this... 429 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,042 You are such a brave man. 430 00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:18,545 Oh, baby, thank you for taking me to dinner 431 00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:21,047 and standing up to those robbers. 432 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:22,816 Oh, baby, I love you so much. 433 00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:25,752 NARRATOR: Instead, it went a little something like this. 434 00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:28,254 Are you crazy? 435 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:30,790 What was you thinking, arguing with a masked gunman? 436 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,625 You could have been killed! 437 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:33,827 Do you think I got married 438 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,495 to raise three kids by myself? 439 00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:38,465 The next time somebody tries to rob us... 440 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,600 get robbed! 441 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,302 Let's go! 442 00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:47,173 Here's a coupon for a free meal 443 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,075 if you decide to come back again. 444 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,211 Thanks, man. Julius! 445 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,380 Take two. Good luck. 446 00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:59,586 [BASKETBALL GAME PLAYING INDISTINCTLY ON TV] 447 00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,456 What happened to your hair? 448 00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,225 Yvette said she was gonna teach me 449 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,659 how to French braid. 450 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,395 Does Yvette live with you? 451 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:09,362 Yes. Why? 452 00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,197 My mama said if I have a baby 453 00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:12,665 before I get married, 454 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,134 she says she's putting me out 455 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:15,802 because she ain't raising no babies. 456 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:18,238 You like raising babies? No. 457 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,106 How come you didn't put her out? 458 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,675 How old are you? 459 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,276 Nine. 460 00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:25,111 [DOORBELL BUZZES] 461 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,813 I'll get it! 462 00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:29,549 You mother's here. 463 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,355 Chris, this is the best game I ever seen! 464 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,389 You gotta come watch! 465 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,695 How come you didn't tell me you were babysitting? 466 00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,296 Why are you in my business? 467 00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:45,699 You live in my house, you don't have any business. 468 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,367 I don't have to live at your house. 469 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,635 I'll move in with Mario. 470 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,136 You think Mario's mother 471 00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:51,838 wants to deal with you? You need a job. 472 00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:53,606 Why do you think I'm babysitting? 473 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:54,674 You weren't even here. 474 00:17:54,708 --> 00:17:55,909 I was coming right back. 475 00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:57,544 Hey, hey! That's enough. 476 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,546 Excuse me? CHRIS: You gotta leave, 477 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,614 and take that baby with you. Fine! 478 00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:03,149 Not you, her. 479 00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,884 I don't know if that's such a good idea. 480 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,419 CHRIS: If my mom comes home 481 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:07,854 and finds out what happened, 482 00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,823 she's gonna ask me why I didn't tell her. 483 00:18:09,856 --> 00:18:11,157 And I'm gonna say 484 00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:12,559 because my dad told me not to. 485 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,894 And then she's gonna curse him out and kill me. 486 00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,296 [SIGHS] 487 00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:17,564 When are you coming home? 488 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,567 As soon as his mom and dad come back. 489 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,569 [BABY COOING] 490 00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:27,474 Are you still gonna teach me 491 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:28,875 how to French braid my hair? 492 00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,410 Yeah. Heh. 493 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,612 Oh, Chris, why don't you go watch your game? 494 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:35,448 Three, two, one! 495 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:36,583 Oh, man! 496 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:40,320 That was a good game! Heh, heh. 497 00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:41,521 [CHANGES CHANNEL] 498 00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:42,889 WOMAN 1 [ON TV]: What are you doing here? 499 00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,491 WOMAN 2 [ON TV]: I came for the makeover! 500 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,393 Everything went okay? Everything went so good. 501 00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:47,594 We had so much fun. 502 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,262 ROCHELLE: Good! YVETTE: They were good. 503 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,330 We should do it again. 504 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,531 ROCHELLE: For sure! 505 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,667 Maybe we could go to a movie next time. 506 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,569 NARRATOR: I wanted this to be a good night for my parents. 507 00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:59,806 and I didn't want my father to think I couldn't handle things. 508 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,842 So I decided to keep everything that happened... 509 00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:04,411 to myself. 510 00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,646 JULIUS: Yvette, are you free next Friday? 511 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:07,881 No, no, no, no, no! 512 00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:09,382 She left us to go get a baby. 513 00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:11,451 When she came back, she burnt your chicken. 514 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,486 Then, this guy came to the door asking for the baby. 515 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,622 His name was Mario and was the baby's father. 516 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,323 When he left, she came back, 517 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:18,491 and the baby wasn't here. 518 00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:20,427 She went to get the baby back, 519 00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,328 her mother came to the door looking for her and the baby. 520 00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:23,863 They had a fight about where to live. 521 00:19:23,897 --> 00:19:26,633 She said she'd live at Mario's house. Who is Mario? 522 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,435 When she came back, she braided Tonya's hair. 523 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:30,270 Drew got to watch the game, you guys came back. 524 00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,372 She's trying to make it look like everything 525 00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,374 was all peachy and fine. It's not! 526 00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,776 [***] 527 00:19:36,810 --> 00:19:40,447 I told you we should have let Chris babysit. 528 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,248 Girl, give me my money back. 529 00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:44,284 I'mma kick her ass. 530 00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:45,919 Hold my wig. [BELL RINGS] 531 00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:51,524 * Everybody hates Chris 532 00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:54,661 NARRATOR: Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode. 533 00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:59,265 [***] 534 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,969 * Aww, make it funky now