1 00:00:03,590 --> 00:00:07,150 Earl, I need you to drive over toJoy's and punch her in the face. 2 00:00:07,260 --> 00:00:09,630 I don't think that's a good idea, Randy. 3 00:00:09,730 --> 00:00:12,560 Are you sayin' that because it's a great idea? 4 00:00:13,670 --> 00:00:16,660 - She did it again, didn't she? - Uh-huh. 5 00:00:16,770 --> 00:00:18,670 And it was a real fancy bird. 6 00:00:21,410 --> 00:00:24,570 [Earl Narrating] Randy had invested a lot ofhis time and my money... 7 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:27,170 into the Crab Shack claw machine. 8 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,720 - I won a horse! - Who won a horse? 9 00:00:29,820 --> 00:00:32,580 - # Mattie told Hattie # - But thanks toJoy, he didn't have much to show for it. 10 00:00:32,690 --> 00:00:35,550 #About a thing she saw # 11 00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:38,420 - I won a spider! - I will take that. Thank you. 12 00:00:38,530 --> 00:00:43,190 #And a woolyjaw Wooly bully # 13 00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:46,600 I won a bird dressed up for a wedding. You're not gettin' it. 14 00:00:46,700 --> 00:00:48,930 - # Wooly bully # - Catch. 15 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,770 - # Wooly bully # - [Joy Laughing] 16 00:00:51,870 --> 00:00:53,900 #Woolly bully Watch it now, watch it # 17 00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:56,880 - # You got it You got it ## - [Crying] 18 00:00:57,950 --> 00:00:59,850 Randy, you're 32 years old. 19 00:00:59,950 --> 00:01:02,180 I can't protect you from your bullies forever. 20 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,310 You need to learn to stick up for yourself. Joy's not goin' anywhere. 21 00:01:05,420 --> 00:01:07,580 - She's part of our lives. - Man! 22 00:01:07,690 --> 00:01:10,210 I'm always gonna regret givin' her that Heimlich. 23 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,420 I mean, first she sued me, and now this? 24 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:14,860 Look, I know I go overboard lookin' out for you... 25 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:16,860 but I'm not doin' it anymore. 26 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:20,020 And while we're at it, I'm not kissin' your boo-boos anymore either. 27 00:01:20,130 --> 00:01:22,500 - It's gettin' awkward. - Even when we're alone? 28 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,800 Especially when we're alone. 29 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:29,570 You know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things... 30 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:32,370 and then wonders why his life sucks? 31 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:35,940 Well, that was me. Every time somethin'good happened to me... 32 00:01:36,050 --> 00:01:38,520 somethin'bad was always waitin' around the corner. 33 00:01:40,690 --> 00:01:41,980 Karma. 34 00:01:42,090 --> 00:01:44,390 That's when I realized I had to change. 35 00:01:45,830 --> 00:01:48,290 So I made a list of everything bad I've ever done... 36 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,360 and, one by one, I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes. 37 00:01:51,470 --> 00:01:53,430 I'm just tryin'to be a better person. 38 00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:56,160 My name is Earl. 39 00:01:58,510 --> 00:02:00,410 [Earl Narrating] While Randy was bummed... 40 00:02:00,510 --> 00:02:03,840 becauseJoy kept takin' his claw machine toys, I was kinda happy... 41 00:02:03,940 --> 00:02:06,110 - 'cause it reminded me of something on my list. - [Randy] Hmmm. 42 00:02:10,220 --> 00:02:13,740 Hmmm. 43 00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:16,620 Randy, this tantrum is gettin' out of control. 44 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,990 Here we go. Number 32- bullied Wally Panzer. 45 00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:23,000 [Earl Narrating] When I was in the eighth grade... 46 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:26,830 my parents made a last-ditch effort to fix me- Catholic school. 47 00:02:26,930 --> 00:02:30,200 I knew that the new kid at school usually got picked on... 48 00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:32,330 unless there was someone lower on the totem pole than him... 49 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,310 so I decided to make that happen. 50 00:02:35,410 --> 00:02:37,310 [Grunts] 51 00:02:40,650 --> 00:02:42,310 [Screaming] 52 00:02:42,420 --> 00:02:45,390 That kid loves butterflies. 53 00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:47,720 And he hates when they die. 54 00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:50,450 Wally Panzer? More like Wally Pansy. 55 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,720 [Earl Narrating] And once I smelled blood in the water... 56 00:02:52,830 --> 00:02:54,920 I didn't let up. 57 00:02:55,030 --> 00:02:57,360 - [Laughing] - Hey, everyone, look. 58 00:02:57,460 --> 00:02:59,400 It's Pants-less Pansy. 59 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,230 [Earl Narrating] But, like most things in life, I pushed it too far. 60 00:03:02,340 --> 00:03:04,430 - [Chanting] Pansy! Pansy! Pansy! - Even though I got kicked out... 61 00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:06,440 my legacy lived on. 62 00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:09,840 Wally wasn't hard to find since if you hadn't left Camden by grade school... 63 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:12,430 odds are you weren't leaving Camden at all. 64 00:03:12,550 --> 00:03:15,670 Okay, the way I remember it, this guy was pretty delicate as a kid... 65 00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:17,680 so try to be as friendly as possible. 66 00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:19,680 I don't want to spook him. 67 00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:29,490 - What do you want? - Uh, are you, uh, Wally Panzer? 68 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,000 Yeah. Who are you? 69 00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:35,830 - Cliff. - You here about my ad in The PennySaver? 70 00:03:35,940 --> 00:03:37,770 - Mm-hmm. - Awesome. 71 00:03:37,870 --> 00:03:40,530 I hope you're ready for some pain. 72 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,840 I'm gonna get my belt. 73 00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:45,540 Man, you must be scared. You forgot your name. 74 00:03:45,650 --> 00:03:48,580 I didn't forget my name, Randy. I just don't want him to know who I am. 75 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,780 Why is he gettin' his belt? 76 00:03:51,890 --> 00:03:54,350 That's what Dad used to say. Are we gonna get spanked? 77 00:03:54,450 --> 00:03:56,250 I guess it depends on what's in his ad. 78 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,190 Why don't you just tell him why you're here? 79 00:03:58,290 --> 00:04:00,990 Because if I tell him who I am, he'll probably kill me. 80 00:04:01,090 --> 00:04:03,290 I'm gonna have to try to cross him off the list... 81 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,300 without him ever knowin' who I am. 82 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,700 We're just gonna have to take our chances with the ad. 83 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:12,030 - What if his ad is sex? - I hope it's not sex. 84 00:04:13,140 --> 00:04:15,300 All right. You guys ready to pump? 85 00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:20,310 Oh, God. He does want to have sex with us. 86 00:04:20,410 --> 00:04:23,320 "Us"? You. Cliff answered the ad. 87 00:04:23,420 --> 00:04:25,080 Come on. Let's hit the gym. 88 00:04:25,190 --> 00:04:28,450 Ahhh. We're gonna work out together. 89 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:32,360 Awesome. I hope this gym has group showers like the ones we had at school. 90 00:04:32,460 --> 00:04:35,090 I want to show everybody I have hair now. 91 00:04:35,230 --> 00:04:39,170 [Earl Narrating] I wasn't sure how karma was gonna feel about me lyin'... 92 00:04:39,270 --> 00:04:42,170 but it turns out karma already had a plan in motion- 93 00:04:43,270 --> 00:04:45,070 to torture me the way I tortured Wally. 94 00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:47,070 What the hell'd you do that for? 95 00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:49,070 To get us pumped! 96 00:04:49,180 --> 00:04:51,340 Come on, Cliff. Hit me back. 97 00:04:52,410 --> 00:04:54,350 Go ahead. 98 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,310 Good. [Grunts] 99 00:04:59,420 --> 00:05:03,450 Wally was so hard-core, he'd already broken three partners before me. 100 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,460 Come on, Cliff. Push it. 101 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,990 You can do it. Two more. It's all you. 102 00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:11,690 How about a little less me and- [Spits] a little more you? 103 00:05:14,030 --> 00:05:16,700 - Here we go. - [Groans] 104 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,430 It slipped. I'll get it. 105 00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:23,740 - Come on. - What do you say we take a quick break? 106 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,470 So I figured if I got big and strong... 107 00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:29,520 my bully would leave me alone. 108 00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:33,050 How long do I have to bounce on this thing before I look like you guys? 109 00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:35,820 You wanna really get ripped, you gotta work with some free weights. 110 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,950 Good. 'Cause I don't have any money. 111 00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:41,050 Don't worry, man. We'll buff you out. 112 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,360 [Chuckles] So, uh, how big is your bully? 113 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:48,630 About this tall... 114 00:05:48,740 --> 00:05:50,670 this wide and... 115 00:05:50,770 --> 00:05:52,670 about a 32 "C." 116 00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,800 Wait. Your bully's a girl? 117 00:05:56,910 --> 00:05:58,970 Really tough girl- 118 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,340 32 "C." 119 00:06:01,450 --> 00:06:03,850 Dude, if your bully's a girl, it's not about how big you are. 120 00:06:03,950 --> 00:06:05,850 It's about confidence. 121 00:06:07,590 --> 00:06:12,680 What you need is 100% pure shark adrenaline. It'll turn you into a beast. 122 00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:16,490 You'll destroy everyone and everything that gets in your way. 123 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,430 Especially baby seals. 124 00:06:19,530 --> 00:06:22,930 Mmm, man. What I wouldn't give for a baby seal right now. 125 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,900 - [Grunts] - Cool. So what's it taste like? 126 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:29,240 Uh, the drugs, not the baby seal. I know what those taste like. 127 00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:31,940 Oh, you don't drink this. You inject it into your scrotum. 128 00:06:33,050 --> 00:06:34,710 Yeah. 129 00:06:38,020 --> 00:06:40,280 [Screaming] Oh, my God! 130 00:06:40,390 --> 00:06:42,550 That's my scrotum? 131 00:06:42,660 --> 00:06:44,950 [Screams] 132 00:06:47,630 --> 00:06:49,620 [Groaning] 133 00:07:06,580 --> 00:07:08,480 [Earl] Mr. Camden, huh? 134 00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:10,550 Pretty big deal. 135 00:07:10,650 --> 00:07:13,280 I was there when Mr. Camden 1998 cut the ribbon... 136 00:07:13,390 --> 00:07:16,050 at the opening ceremony of the new welfare office. 137 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,150 Me and my brother were third in line. 138 00:07:18,260 --> 00:07:20,620 Ah, the Mr. Camden competition is stupid. 139 00:07:20,730 --> 00:07:22,750 Stupid? Really? 140 00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:24,960 Look at all this stuff you can win. 141 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:28,330 You could get a month's worth of somethin' called DVD rentals... 142 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,930 an office-quality paper shredder... 143 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,370 and a gift certificate for all you can eat sushi... 144 00:07:33,470 --> 00:07:36,840 from Sensei Yum Yum's. 145 00:07:36,940 --> 00:07:39,470 Okay, fine. Yes, of course I wanna win. 146 00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:41,480 It's always been a dream of mine. 147 00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:43,570 But there's just some stuff I'm not willin' to do. 148 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,880 [Earl Narrating] Wally told me competin'in Mr. Camden... 149 00:07:45,990 --> 00:07:48,820 - involved a lot of things other than just muscles. - [Crowd Cheering] 150 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:52,320 You were expected to shave everything that wasn't covered by tiny pants... 151 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,330 have a head-to-toe tan... 152 00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:56,730 and oil yourselflike a catcher's mitt... 153 00:07:56,830 --> 00:07:59,300 and Wally wasn't into that stuff. 154 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:03,170 [Roaring] 155 00:08:03,270 --> 00:08:05,700 I don't care if that contest comes with a talking pet monkey. 156 00:08:05,810 --> 00:08:08,040 It ain't worth turnin' myself into a pansy. 157 00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:12,640 I knew something was wrong, 'cause no man would turn down a talking pet monkey. 158 00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:15,940 Then I realized- Me callin' Wally a pansy when we were kids... 159 00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:18,310 was stoppin'him from trying to be Mr. Camden. 160 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,280 Randy, you're not gonna believe what just happened. 161 00:08:22,390 --> 00:08:23,820 I was just gonna say the same thing. 162 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,020 I know how I can cross Wally off my list. 163 00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:29,620 I'm gonna help him get over his fear so he can win the Mr. Camden competition. 164 00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:31,990 See ya later, buddy. 165 00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:34,500 I just got a shot in my balls. 166 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,500 Look, I've been thinkin'. 167 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:40,600 You're the biggest, strongest guy I've ever seen. You should be Mr. Camden. 168 00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:45,040 It just makes sense, like how the biggest, strongest peanut became Mr. Peanut. 169 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:47,880 - What? - It's true. Don't you ever read the jar? 170 00:08:47,980 --> 00:08:51,680 Cliff, dudes like me and you- We don't do all that pansy stuff. 171 00:08:51,790 --> 00:08:54,220 We wear flannel. We have body hair. 172 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,350 We really like soups that are so hearty, you eat them with a fork. 173 00:08:57,460 --> 00:09:00,650 Are you kiddin'? I'm totally gonna do all that bodybuilder stuff... 174 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,660 as soon as I'm ripped like you. 175 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,530 Why do you think I was lookin' for a training partner? 176 00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:07,530 I don't know, Cliff. 177 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,630 Come on. W-We'll do it together. 178 00:09:09,740 --> 00:09:14,230 Two men shavin', tannin', oilin' each other up. 179 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,710 We won't talk about it. We'll just do it. 180 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,220 All right. 181 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,690 If a man's man like you can do it, then I guess I can too. 182 00:09:28,790 --> 00:09:31,850 Hot damn. I'm gonna be Mr. Camden. 183 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,220 Let's get psyched. 184 00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:36,450 [Groans] 185 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,860 Good. Good. 186 00:09:38,970 --> 00:09:43,630 Uh, could we work out some kinda signal before you do that? 187 00:09:43,740 --> 00:09:45,760 [Earl Narrating] Just like Marcus and Kyle had promised... 188 00:09:45,870 --> 00:09:48,900 that shark adrenaline was starting to affect Randy's attitude. 189 00:09:52,210 --> 00:09:54,270 Hand over the floppy puppy. 190 00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:57,610 - You're not gettin' my floppy puppy. - Gimme the floppy puppy. 191 00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,910 No. Mine! [Guttural Voice] Mine! 192 00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:02,960 Kill her. Kill her. I know a guy who can make any death look like a suicide. 193 00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:05,390 [Snarls] 194 00:10:05,490 --> 00:10:08,720 - [Growling] - Fine! Keep the stupid dog. 195 00:10:09,830 --> 00:10:11,760 Big baby. 196 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,830 I did it! Victory. 197 00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:18,000 I got my floppy puppy. 198 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:21,070 But I had to burn through my week's supply of that shark adrenaline. 199 00:10:21,170 --> 00:10:24,410 - I'm gonna need more. - Well, Kyle should be back from- 200 00:10:24,510 --> 00:10:25,840 [Guttural Voice] Now. 201 00:10:25,950 --> 00:10:28,070 [Earl Narrating] To help Wally win the Mr. Camden title... 202 00:10:28,180 --> 00:10:30,910 I was gonna have to do some things that made me uncomfortable- 203 00:10:31,020 --> 00:10:32,920 smooth, but uncomfortable. 204 00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:35,510 I don't know. This doesn't feel right. 205 00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:38,560 Come on. It's perfectly manly to do this. 206 00:10:38,660 --> 00:10:41,020 And these lady razors are exactly like the men's. 207 00:10:41,130 --> 00:10:43,430 They'rejust a little more flexible... 208 00:10:43,530 --> 00:10:45,260 to move with the contours of our legs. 209 00:10:52,570 --> 00:10:54,470 - Okay. - [Earl Narrating] It looked like I had Wally... 210 00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:57,040 on the road to becoming Mr. Camden. 211 00:10:57,140 --> 00:11:00,310 I just didn't know trouble was comin'around the corner. 212 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:04,010 [Gasps] 213 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,350 Bros! What the hell? 214 00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:10,690 Relax, Randy. We're just shavin' for the competition. 215 00:11:10,790 --> 00:11:13,850 What are you competin' for, who gets to be on the bottom? Pansies. 216 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,290 What's he talkin' about? 217 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,870 Tell him, Cliff. We're not pansies. 218 00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:22,990 "Cliff"? You still stickin' with that name? 219 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:25,000 You haven't told him who you really are? 220 00:11:25,110 --> 00:11:27,070 Wh-Wh-What are you talkin' about, Randy? 221 00:11:27,170 --> 00:11:30,200 L-I am who I am. I'm Cliff. 222 00:11:30,310 --> 00:11:32,970 Man, I don't know which one of you is a bigger pansy- 223 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,140 Wally for actually bein' a pansy... 224 00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:38,410 or you for bein' too afraid to tell him your real name... 225 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:41,450 Earl. 226 00:11:42,990 --> 00:11:45,890 - Wait a minute. Earl? - [Door Closes] 227 00:11:45,990 --> 00:11:47,890 Pansy? 228 00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:53,670 Earl Hickey? 229 00:11:53,770 --> 00:11:56,600 [Stammering] I guess Cliff is more-more of a nickname. 230 00:11:56,700 --> 00:11:58,600 But-But look, I can explain. 231 00:11:58,710 --> 00:12:01,870 I always dreamed I'd run into you again, Earl Hickey. 232 00:12:01,980 --> 00:12:05,040 L-I dream about stuff too. 233 00:12:05,150 --> 00:12:07,840 [Squeals] 234 00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:11,780 I'm glad you're here. You can clean up my splatter, lady legs. 235 00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:13,880 - Randy, what the hell has gotten into you? - Shark adrenaline. 236 00:12:13,990 --> 00:12:16,420 - That's what's gotten into me, and I love it. - [Pounding] 237 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:19,190 - [Screams] - [Growling] 238 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:25,930 - [Screaming] - Damn it, Earl. Open this door. 239 00:12:26,030 --> 00:12:28,400 Well, just, uh-Just give me a second. 240 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,400 Let me at least get my jeans on. 241 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,400 I don't wanna die in my underpants. 242 00:12:32,510 --> 00:12:35,630 Unlock it, Earl. Take your medicine like a man. 243 00:12:35,740 --> 00:12:39,110 [High-pitched Voice] No way. What? You pee blue. 244 00:12:39,210 --> 00:12:41,870 Aaah! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 245 00:12:41,980 --> 00:12:43,880 - Aaah! - [Clattering] 246 00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:47,610 [Groans] I'm really sorry. I got a list. 247 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,550 - [Grunts] - It's a karma list. It's really hard to explain. 248 00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:53,650 - I was just trying to help. - By making me look like a pansy? 249 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:55,390 - [Squealing] No! - [Grunts] 250 00:13:04,270 --> 00:13:06,470 Hey, fella, you wanna party? 251 00:13:06,570 --> 00:13:08,510 I'm not sharin' mine. 252 00:13:09,610 --> 00:13:11,700 What the hell are you doin; jerk? 253 00:13:11,810 --> 00:13:13,840 This was my favorite wall. 254 00:13:13,950 --> 00:13:16,250 Randy, no, no, no, no, no. 255 00:13:16,350 --> 00:13:19,150 [Earl Narrating] I wanted to get things under control before they got too crazy. 256 00:13:23,090 --> 00:13:24,780 #Keep your eyes on the road # 257 00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:27,360 - # Your hands upon the wheel # - [Roars] 258 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:32,960 #Keep your eyes on the road # 259 00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:36,520 #Your hands upon the wheel # 260 00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:41,330 - You take back what you said. - # We're goin'to the roadhouse # 261 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:46,610 - [Groans] - # We're gonna have a real good time # 262 00:13:46,710 --> 00:13:50,650 Aaah! Thanks. You just released more shark juice from my scrote. 263 00:13:50,750 --> 00:13:53,120 - [Groans] - No, no, no, no! No, Randy. 264 00:13:53,220 --> 00:13:55,380 - [Bellows] - [Screams] 265 00:13:55,490 --> 00:13:58,150 Randy, you gotta stop this before you get- 266 00:13:58,260 --> 00:14:01,790 [Grunts] Wally, hold on. I'm tryin' to- 267 00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:03,620 [Groaning] 268 00:14:03,730 --> 00:14:05,490 Cut it out, spaz! 269 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,830 - [Groans] - # Let it roll # 270 00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:10,960 #All night long # 271 00:14:11,070 --> 00:14:13,700 [Earl Narrating] It was no fun being in the middle of two monsters... 272 00:14:13,810 --> 00:14:17,240 - but they were monsters I had created. - Randy! 273 00:14:17,340 --> 00:14:20,310 I created one by telling him to stand up for himself... 274 00:14:20,410 --> 00:14:22,680 and the other by pushing him down. 275 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,220 [Groaning, Grunting] 276 00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:30,610 [Horn Honking] 277 00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:36,990 Sam, I'm goin' around back to grab some ice. You mind watching the bar for a second? 278 00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:43,740 [Snarling] 279 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,430 - # Well, I woke up this mornin'# - Who's a pansy now, huh? 280 00:14:46,540 --> 00:14:48,870 - # I got myself a beer# - Okay, come on. 281 00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:51,500 [Roars] 282 00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:54,580 #Well, I woke up this morning # 283 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,210 - # And I got myself a beer# - [Snarling] 284 00:15:00,220 --> 00:15:05,320 #The future's uncertain And the end is always near# 285 00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:07,720 [Grunting] 286 00:15:07,830 --> 00:15:11,730 #Let it roll, baby, roll # 287 00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:15,960 #Let it roll, baby, roll # 288 00:15:16,070 --> 00:15:20,030 #Let it roll, baby, roll # 289 00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:22,440 #Let it roll # 290 00:15:22,540 --> 00:15:24,170 Aaah! 291 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,640 - # All night long ## - What the- 292 00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,980 [Earl Narrating] There was only one thing that could distract Randy... 293 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,550 from fightin'with Wally- 294 00:15:34,950 --> 00:15:37,820 the return ofhis original bully, Joy. 295 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,790 She got my babies! 296 00:15:39,890 --> 00:15:42,420 [Grunting] 297 00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:57,780 Sam, may we have a word? 298 00:15:57,910 --> 00:16:00,280 [Earl Narrating] It took me 20 minutes to get into my car... 299 00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:04,210 but I knew I had to do whatever it took to stop Randy before he killed somebody... 300 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,310 and I wasn't the only one lookin'for him. 301 00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:08,750 Wally was also following the path of destruction. 302 00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:11,220 - Hey! Where's the guy who did this? - [Muffled] 303 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,950 I should have guessed that path of destruction would only lead to one place. 304 00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:17,720 So I told that teacher, "I'm glad my son's flunkin' Spanish. 305 00:16:17,830 --> 00:16:19,990 Frankly, I'd be disappointed if he wasn't." 306 00:16:21,270 --> 00:16:24,670 - Oh, God. - I want my claw machine toys. 307 00:16:24,770 --> 00:16:27,640 All of'em, including the ones you took today. 308 00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:30,640 Eugenia, call the police right now. I'm at- 309 00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:36,680 I'll get you a bag. 310 00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:42,010 [Earl Narrating] Randy was happy he got all ofhis toys- 311 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,280 - well, except for one. - [Squeaking] 312 00:16:47,190 --> 00:16:49,130 Give me that bird dressed for a wedding. 313 00:16:49,230 --> 00:16:52,960 - Hey, Uncle Randy. - I said I want my dressed-up birdie, punk. 314 00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:56,830 - But it's mine. Mommy got it for me yesterday. - Gimme that dressed-up birdie! 315 00:16:56,940 --> 00:16:59,230 [Squeaks] 316 00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:01,470 [Earl Narrating] Though nothin'had stopped this monster so far- 317 00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:04,810 - [Sobbing] - there was one thing he wasn't prepared for. 318 00:17:04,910 --> 00:17:08,070 Even though the shark adrenaline had completely taken over his brain... 319 00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:11,210 there was still one thing that could get through to the old Randy: 320 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,720 The cry of a bullied child... 321 00:17:13,820 --> 00:17:16,620 especially since this time he was the bully. 322 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,320 Oh, my God. What am I doin'? 323 00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:21,330 But when I came around that corner... 324 00:17:21,430 --> 00:17:25,090 all I saw was a juiced-up maniac headin'right for a kid. 325 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,720 [Yelling, Groaning] 326 00:17:35,410 --> 00:17:37,670 Sorry, buddy, but- [Panting] 327 00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:40,770 You turned into a monster. 328 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,410 But it wasn't your fault though. 329 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,110 I pushed you to be a tough guy and stand up toJoy... 330 00:17:46,220 --> 00:17:48,150 but you're not a tough guy. 331 00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:51,250 You're a sweet, gentle, sensitive guy. 332 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,550 L- I shouldn't have made you change. 333 00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:58,530 Bein' sweet and sensitive is a good thing. Randy? 334 00:17:58,630 --> 00:18:02,470 [Earl Narrating] Randy didn't hear me since his brain was kinda swollen at the time... 335 00:18:02,570 --> 00:18:04,560 but my words did have an effect on someone. 336 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,610 You know what, Earl? 337 00:18:08,710 --> 00:18:10,970 I used to be sensitive too. 338 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:15,310 Wally had been sensitive, but I made him ashamed of it back when we were kids. 339 00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:17,650 I'm sorry, Wally. 340 00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:21,380 I should have never bullied that out of you. 341 00:18:21,490 --> 00:18:23,720 Something about what I said made Wally realize... 342 00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:26,450 that you might be able to change how you look on the outside- 343 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:30,150 - [Crowd Cheering, Clapping] - but you can't change who you are on the inside. 344 00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:33,760 No matter how big and strong Wally made his outer shell... 345 00:18:33,870 --> 00:18:37,830 he couldn't change the sweetness inside he was trying to protect. 346 00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:41,340 And Wally was finally ready to embrace both of those people- 347 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:46,170 the bodybuilder and the little kid who loved butterflies. 348 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,840 And, like a butterfly, Wally finally came out ofhis cocoon... 349 00:18:49,950 --> 00:18:52,540 and became the person he was meant to be. 350 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:06,050 [Grunts] 351 00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:21,810 [Grunts] 352 00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,560 [Exhales] 353 00:19:45,610 --> 00:19:48,300 [Grunts] 354 00:19:54,050 --> 00:19:56,840 - [Snorts] - Sorry again. 355 00:19:56,950 --> 00:19:58,850 For what? 356 00:19:58,950 --> 00:20:02,480 Oh, hittin' me with the car? That's okay. 357 00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:05,350 - Hey, Earl? - Yeah, Randy? 358 00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:08,480 Do you think kryptonite works on people who aren't Superman? 359 00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,830 I don't know. Probably not. 360 00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:18,660 - What about garlic? - That only works on vampires. 361 00:20:18,770 --> 00:20:22,070 - Apples? - Pretty sure that's only for doctors. 362 00:20:23,510 --> 00:20:26,670 - Who you tryin' to keep away? - Joy. 363 00:20:31,150 --> 00:20:34,380 - Try hummus. - Thanks, Earl. 364 00:20:34,490 --> 00:20:36,390 Good night, Randy. 365 00:20:36,490 --> 00:20:38,390 Good night, Earl.