1
00:00:02,030 --> 00:00:04,520
My name is Earl.
2
00:00:06,830 --> 00:00:09,000
[Earl Narrating]
I got a chance to seeJoy and Darnell...
3
00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:11,800
after they went into Witness Protection,
but Randy hadn't...
4
00:00:11,910 --> 00:00:13,810
and he was really missing his friend.
5
00:00:13,910 --> 00:00:15,810
Hey, Earl.
6
00:00:15,910 --> 00:00:18,570
Hey, Scarecrow Crabman.
7
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,580
[Earl Narrating]
As the days went by...
8
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:22,650
I tried to keep
a brave front up for Randy...
9
00:00:22,750 --> 00:00:26,210
but when he wasn't around,
I found myself missing everybody too.
10
00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:28,290
[Knocking]
11
00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,330
I'm looking for Darnell Turner.
12
00:00:32,430 --> 00:00:34,260
Sorry, but he's not-
13
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,230
I don't know anyone named Darnell Turner.
14
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:40,600
Isn't that Darnell Turner?
15
00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:42,670
Who, this?
16
00:00:42,770 --> 00:00:44,670
Uh, got me.
17
00:00:44,770 --> 00:00:46,670
Uh, this was here when we moved in.
18
00:00:46,770 --> 00:00:49,940
The previous tenant probably left it behind.
19
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:53,040
- Isn't that you?
- Wow. Yeah.
20
00:00:53,150 --> 00:00:55,810
Yeah. He does kinda look like me.
21
00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,910
- But if he calls that mess a mustache-
- [Chuckles]
22
00:00:59,020 --> 00:01:01,010
- Still, crazy world.
- [Glass Shatters]
23
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,060
My mistake. Thank you for your time.
24
00:01:06,490 --> 00:01:09,050
Look. This isn't the first time
I've been cuffed to something...
25
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,220
so if you're trying to freak me out-
26
00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:14,200
There's a bomb in the briefcase
attached to your wrist.
27
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:18,500
If you don't want your neighbors
to pick up pieces of you out of their azaleas...
28
00:01:18,610 --> 00:01:20,770
you'll tell me where Darnell Turner is.
29
00:01:24,010 --> 00:01:25,980
What are azaleas?
30
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:29,640
[Earl Narrating]
While I was imagining myself as azalea fertilizer...
31
00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:32,340
Darnell was coming home to a surprise ofhis own.
32
00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:35,480
[Gunshots]
33
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,330
[Gunshots Continue]
34
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,330
Oh, hey, baby. I didn't hear you come in.
35
00:01:46,430 --> 00:01:50,630
Boys, I know shootin' hookers is fun,
but it's too loud. Headphones on.
36
00:01:50,740 --> 00:01:52,670
So, when did the boys get an Xbox?
37
00:01:52,770 --> 00:01:57,180
I'm sorry, Darnell, but I had to get it for 'em.
38
00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,750
They're not making any friends
based on their personalities.
39
00:01:59,850 --> 00:02:03,340
I mean, you've seen that routine they got
worked out where they pick each other's noses.
40
00:02:03,450 --> 00:02:06,280
It's our bad for laughing so hard
the first time they did it.
41
00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:08,290
But you know we can't afford luxury items.
42
00:02:08,390 --> 00:02:10,650
We can't afford not to fit in.
43
00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:15,020
Look. You just worry about selling more insurances
and leave everything else to me.
44
00:02:15,130 --> 00:02:17,790
I'll try, baby. What's for dinner?
45
00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:20,030
Oh, we already ate.
46
00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:28,030
I miss us eating dinner as a family.
47
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:32,410
You think this is easy on me?
I'm working my butt off.
48
00:02:32,510 --> 00:02:34,500
I had to come up with
three different disguises...
49
00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:37,210
to make people think
we got a maid, a nanny and a gardener.
50
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,880
Now, if you'll excuse me,
time for Carlos to mow the lawn.
51
00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:47,350
I'm telling you.
I don't know who you're talkin' about.
52
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,390
Hey, Earl.
Me and fake Darnell had a blast.
53
00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:54,400
We played darts.
I let him drive the El Camino.
54
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:56,400
He scratched the back fender.
55
00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:59,230
- Tell me where Darnell is.
- Look.
56
00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:02,400
He-He doesn't know where Darnell is. I swear.
Just leave my brother alone.
57
00:03:02,510 --> 00:03:04,910
It would kill me if anything happened to him.
58
00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:07,540
That's good to know.
59
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,550
I know I always make you say you love me
before we go to sleep...
60
00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:18,420
but if someone's threatening
to torture or even kill the thing you love...
61
00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:20,390
that's when you can keep it to yourself.
62
00:03:20,490 --> 00:03:23,760
All right, fellas. You got about five minutes
before this bomb goes off.
63
00:03:23,860 --> 00:03:28,030
Okay. You-You let my brother go,
and I'll tell you what I know.
64
00:03:28,140 --> 00:03:29,860
- Fair enough.
- No!
65
00:03:29,970 --> 00:03:31,940
Think aboutJoy, Darnell and the kids.
66
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,200
You can blow us up. We're not afraid.
67
00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:37,400
[Whispers]
Don't worry. I got a plan.
68
00:03:37,510 --> 00:03:40,210
Hey. Call me if you want to live.
69
00:03:40,310 --> 00:03:42,210
I'm on speed dial two.
70
00:03:45,290 --> 00:03:48,220
[Dog Barking]
71
00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,620
- Okay, Randy. What's your plan?
- All we have to do...
72
00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:54,660
is open up the bomb, say "I hope this works,"
close our eyes and cut the blue wire.
73
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,790
I've seen it a million times on TV.
It's easy.
74
00:03:58,330 --> 00:04:00,530
[Beeping]
75
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:04,460
What do we do now, Randy?
76
00:04:04,570 --> 00:04:06,440
I think that we go to commercial.
77
00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:08,910
- I'm calling Thomas.
- I need a beer.
78
00:04:10,210 --> 00:04:12,370
- Damn it, Randy. Now what do we do?
- I don't know.
79
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,780
- I can't reach the phone!
- We're ready to talk!
80
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,720
- Thomas, we're ready to talk!
We're ready to talk, Thomas!
- I can't reach the phone!
81
00:04:18,820 --> 00:04:21,950
[Woman On Radio]
#The girl from Ipanema goes walking #
82
00:04:22,060 --> 00:04:25,680
- # And when she passes, each one she passes #
- [Shouting Continues, Faint]
83
00:04:25,790 --> 00:04:28,280
#Goes ahhh ##
84
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,260
There are a few things
I need to get off my chest before we die.
85
00:04:31,370 --> 00:04:35,060
First, your teeth are not whiter than mine.
86
00:04:35,170 --> 00:04:37,070
[Bomb Beeping]
87
00:04:37,170 --> 00:04:40,830
All right. That's it.
Is there anything you need to say to me?
88
00:04:40,940 --> 00:04:44,000
And if it's that your teeth are whiter than mine,
we have a big problem.
89
00:04:44,110 --> 00:04:45,910
Randy, we're not gonna die.
90
00:04:46,010 --> 00:04:48,500
We just need to knock this pole down.
91
00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:51,550
Come on. Push.
[Grunting]
92
00:04:51,650 --> 00:04:56,450
We need something heavy,
something with a lot of weight. How about, uh-
93
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,250
- Ow! Jerk!
- Sorry. I'm just trying to-
94
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,660
Ow! Jackass!
95
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,990
Ow!
96
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:07,360
- Ow!
- Ow!
97
00:05:07,470 --> 00:05:09,460
- Ow!
- Ow!
98
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:13,370
- Ow!
- Ow!
99
00:05:13,470 --> 00:05:15,440
- Ow!
- Ow!
100
00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:17,810
Hold on. Wait. Wait. Wait.
101
00:05:17,910 --> 00:05:20,970
[Beeping Continues]
102
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:24,980
We're brothers.
Let's not turn on each other in...
103
00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:27,710
what could be the last few moments of our lives.
104
00:05:27,820 --> 00:05:28,880
You're right.
105
00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:32,490
- Ow!
- That one was just to make us even.
106
00:05:32,590 --> 00:05:34,320
Fair enough.
107
00:05:34,430 --> 00:05:38,360
Well, I guess this is good-bye, Brother.
108
00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:40,870
I can't say good-bye. Hug me.
109
00:05:40,970 --> 00:05:43,600
Maybe then,
after the explosion, our bits will be mixed up...
110
00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:45,900
and God will have to take us to heaven together.
111
00:05:47,070 --> 00:05:48,970
[Both Screaming]
112
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:52,010
[Beeping]
113
00:05:59,820 --> 00:06:02,690
- [Screaming Continues]
- [Beeping Continues]
114
00:06:06,630 --> 00:06:08,530
- [Beeping Stops]
- [Screaming]
115
00:06:08,630 --> 00:06:12,000
Randy!
It didn't go off. We're alive.
116
00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:14,830
Huh. One of the blue wires must have got loose.
117
00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:17,600
- Randy.
- It's not broken.
118
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:21,300
It's not a real bomb.
119
00:06:21,410 --> 00:06:25,540
I thought by handcuffing you to fake explosives
you'd give up Darnell's location.
120
00:06:25,650 --> 00:06:29,210
Hmm. You didn't crack.
121
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,250
Yeah. You guys would make good soldiers.
122
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:35,010
That's what the guy in the Wal-Mart parking lot
is always telling us.
123
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,850
Yeah. He says that because we-
124
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,860
Sneak attack!
125
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,360
- [Blow Lands]
- [Earl] Ow!
126
00:06:42,460 --> 00:06:46,020
Gentlemen,
let's just be done with the violence.
127
00:06:46,130 --> 00:06:50,700
- What do you say?
- Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Sure.
128
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:55,260
Good. I'd hate to have to kill
a couple of my son's friends.
129
00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:59,140
Wait. You're-You're Darnell's dad?
130
00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:01,480
Tell us some embarrassing stories about him.
131
00:07:01,580 --> 00:07:05,070
- Wait. How-How do we know you're not lying?
- Ah.
132
00:07:08,890 --> 00:07:10,820
Can't you see the resemblance?
133
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:15,260
D-Darnell always told us his dad died
in the American-Canadian War.
134
00:07:18,330 --> 00:07:21,430
No. And you guys ought to read more.
135
00:07:21,540 --> 00:07:25,060
I'm not surprised Darnell
didn't tell you about me.
136
00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:27,400
I wasn't a great dad.
137
00:07:27,510 --> 00:07:29,500
[Earl Narrating]
Darnell's dad wasn't much of a father...
138
00:07:29,610 --> 00:07:32,480
but he was one of the best
covert government agents...
139
00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:35,280
which meant having drinks after work
with the boys had a whole different meaning.
140
00:07:35,380 --> 00:07:37,280
To Communism!
141
00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:45,280
So he didn't have much time
for day-to-day parenting.
142
00:07:45,390 --> 00:07:48,490
[Whispers] It's your son. He fell down
some stairs and broke his arm.
143
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:52,090
[Whispers] Tell him this telephone number
is for emergencies only.
144
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,100
[Crowd Cheering]
145
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,100
[Crowd Screaming]
146
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,900
[Earl Narrating] In fact, sometimes he nearly
forgot he had a family at all.
147
00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:02,840
Wait a second.
148
00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:06,380
- What day is it today?
- Uh, I think it's the 14th.
149
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,110
Oh, crap!
150
00:08:08,220 --> 00:08:10,480
Run out to Walgreens and get me
a belated birthday card.
151
00:08:10,580 --> 00:08:12,520
We're in Angola.
I don't know where Walgreens is.
152
00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:15,650
- Hey. Where's Walgreens?
- What is Walgreens?
153
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,950
- Tell me where Walgreens is!
- [Sobbing] I don't know!
154
00:08:20,490 --> 00:08:23,900
So you were in the- the C.I.A. Or the F.B.I.?
155
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,970
Even more secretive than that.
156
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:28,300
Don't tell me. I.R.S.
157
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,670
PBS? TCBY?
158
00:08:30,770 --> 00:08:32,700
- Actually, well, see-
- B.Y.O.B.
159
00:08:32,810 --> 00:08:35,740
Son, you're gettin' on my last nerve.
160
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:40,040
So, b-because you're in
some secret organization...
161
00:08:40,150 --> 00:08:43,010
that's why Darnell has to be in
the Witness Protection Program?
162
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,880
Uh, it's complicated, but basically, yes.
163
00:08:45,990 --> 00:08:50,860
See, I wanna trust you,
but you did just handcuff us to a bomb.
164
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:55,550
A fake bomb.
When you gonna let it go?
165
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:59,430
Just-Just take the picture to Darnell.
He'll verify who I am.
166
00:08:59,530 --> 00:09:02,430
Look. Now, I just wanna get right by my son.
167
00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:06,030
No matter how difficult
our relationship has been in the past...
168
00:09:06,140 --> 00:09:10,700
every boy needs to know
that his father loves him.
169
00:09:10,810 --> 00:09:13,210
How do I know that's a real tear?
170
00:09:18,450 --> 00:09:20,420
Taste.
171
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,890
We're going.
172
00:09:29,030 --> 00:09:30,890
[Earl Narrating]
So we left Thomas at the trailer...
173
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,590
and took the picture
to find out if it really was Darnell's dad.
174
00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:37,860
You told me your daddy died in a Ferris wheel
accident. That's why you'll never ride 'em.
175
00:09:37,970 --> 00:09:40,770
I don't ride them because you refuse to obey
the "No Rocking" sign.
176
00:09:40,870 --> 00:09:43,740
Plus, I didn't wanna talk about my dad.
Two birds.
177
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,940
Darnell, I've missed you so much.
You gotta come back to Camden.
178
00:09:47,050 --> 00:09:49,780
You'll never believe it.
We've got a black president now.
179
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,110
Zip it, dummy. Darnell.
180
00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:54,120
The truth is, my father and I...
181
00:09:54,220 --> 00:09:56,650
have a long, complicated history
that I didn't want to delve into.
182
00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:01,390
[Earl Narrating] That's when Darnell told us
the story about his entire life as Harry Monroe.
183
00:10:01,490 --> 00:10:04,990
From an early age,
Thomas saw that his son was exceptional.
184
00:10:08,170 --> 00:10:10,100
So, like any good secret agent would...
185
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,400
he shipped his son off for spy training.
186
00:10:12,510 --> 00:10:13,770
[Shouts]
187
00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:19,340
Shaken. Stirred.
188
00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:24,980
And eventually, Darnell went from
special training to special ops.
189
00:10:33,890 --> 00:10:37,290
Dad. What a surprise.
It's been so long. How's everything at home?
190
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,200
All your grandparents are dead,
and we painted the kitchen.
191
00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:43,700
Here are your orders.
Your flight leaves in 45 minutes.
192
00:10:45,540 --> 00:10:47,470
## [Drum Beating]
193
00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:54,610
Hey. There's about to be
a Donkey Kong kill screen...
194
00:10:54,710 --> 00:10:56,610
in the game tent, if you're interested.
195
00:11:05,590 --> 00:11:07,860
[Earl Narrating]
Darnell was the agency's best...
196
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:11,190
until one day the agency asked him to go too far.
197
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:19,240
I wondered how long it would take the Americans
to send someone to kill me.
198
00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:21,810
Why is it you are so
threatened by a pediocracy?
199
00:11:21,910 --> 00:11:24,740
You're Wong Wa, king of the Opti nation?
200
00:11:27,180 --> 00:11:30,340
Oh, well.
At least I lived longer than my father.
201
00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:32,510
Fire when ready.
202
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,090
- You were successful?
- No.
203
00:11:40,190 --> 00:11:43,320
There must be some kind of mistake.
He's a nine-year-old kid.
204
00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:47,490
No. He's a nine-year-old socialist who wants to
nationalize the diamond mines.
205
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:52,160
He saw a Veggie Tales about sharing,
and it's turned his head all around.
206
00:11:52,270 --> 00:11:54,760
[Earl Narrating] Thinking about
the little boy made Darnell start to question...
207
00:11:54,870 --> 00:11:56,870
all he had given up for the agency...
208
00:11:56,980 --> 00:12:01,570
which made him question why the agency
was asking him to do all this to begin with.
209
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,580
And even though he wasn't in the navy...
210
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,680
Darnell testified before something called
a "sub committee"...
211
00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:10,090
and nearly brought down
his father's entire agency.
212
00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:13,720
My father never forgave me for testifying.
The whole agency wanted me dead.
213
00:12:13,830 --> 00:12:15,920
That's why I had to go into Witness Protection.
214
00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:19,190
So your dad turned you into a trained assassin.
215
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:22,230
My dad would make me hold
the flashlight when he'd work under the sink.
216
00:12:22,340 --> 00:12:26,200
Sometimes dads suck, but you gotta get past it.
217
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:29,540
Look. He even gave me
a belated birthday card for you.
218
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,240
Oh, no.
219
00:12:32,350 --> 00:12:34,280
- [Beeping]
- Oh, no.
220
00:12:34,380 --> 00:12:37,110
- Wh-What's the big deal?
- Wake up. He didn't like the card.
221
00:12:44,190 --> 00:12:46,280
Hello, Dad.
222
00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:47,590
Hello, Son.
223
00:12:47,690 --> 00:12:49,790
Let's do this.
224
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:52,090
[Shouts]
225
00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,800
[Earl Narrating]
Darnell hadn't seen his father in years, and...
226
00:12:59,910 --> 00:13:02,310
it wasn't the happiest of reunions.
227
00:13:02,410 --> 00:13:04,600
Stop blocking. I'm your father.
228
00:13:04,710 --> 00:13:07,680
You weren't a father. If you were a father,
you would've coached my archery team...
229
00:13:07,780 --> 00:13:11,480
or taught me falconry
or at least given me a hug once in a while.
230
00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:16,750
I knew what kind of life lay ahead of you...
231
00:13:16,860 --> 00:13:20,020
and I didn't want you
to be soft like your brother.
232
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,850
- What brother?
- That's not important.
233
00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:32,860
You robbed me of a childhood
and apparently of a brother.
234
00:13:39,950 --> 00:13:42,740
Oh. Hey. This is a waste of time.
235
00:13:42,850 --> 00:13:46,290
I trained you too well.
Neither one of us is gonna land a punch.
236
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:48,820
You're right.
237
00:13:49,490 --> 00:13:50,550
[Groans]
238
00:13:50,660 --> 00:13:52,990
I learned some things in the streets.
239
00:13:53,090 --> 00:13:55,990
I'm getting too old for this crap.
240
00:13:56,100 --> 00:14:00,560
Look. If I can find you,
so can anyone at the agency.
241
00:14:00,670 --> 00:14:04,540
Your two friends-
they're brave, but they're idiots.
242
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:08,660
The tall one can't even tell the difference
between a tear and saline solution.
243
00:14:08,780 --> 00:14:11,440
- What do you want?
- I want to give you a chance...
244
00:14:11,540 --> 00:14:13,570
to make up for what you did to the agency.
245
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,980
So you can stop running.
You can go back to living your life again.
246
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:20,480
- What would I have to do?
- One last mission.
247
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:23,720
- And then I'm out? No strings attached?
- Yes.
248
00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:27,990
- Uncle Sam has agreed to wipe the slate clean.
- Uncle Sam the government...
249
00:14:28,090 --> 00:14:31,000
or your freaky brother who used to pay me
a hundred dollars to rub his feet?
250
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:32,560
The government.
251
00:14:32,670 --> 00:14:36,070
[Sighs]
252
00:14:36,170 --> 00:14:40,200
[Earl Narrating] Darnell knew working
for the agency again could get him killed.
253
00:14:41,670 --> 00:14:46,270
But to Darnell,
eating TVdinners alone was no life at all.
254
00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:49,840
So he'd do anything
so they could be the family they used to be.
255
00:14:52,650 --> 00:14:56,050
- I'll do it.
- [Sighs]
256
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:06,860
Hey, Crabman!
257
00:15:06,970 --> 00:15:09,370
[Together]
Hey, Earl.
258
00:15:10,670 --> 00:15:13,730
Where am I? What's going on?
259
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,870
Helicopter. Secret mission.
260
00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:18,880
My father brought you along
to make sure I cooperate.
261
00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:22,040
He has trust issues.
I promise, no long-term harm will come to you...
262
00:15:22,150 --> 00:15:24,950
unless, of course, harm comes to me,
in which case, I doubt you'll survive.
263
00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:27,540
But I prefer to focus on the positive.
264
00:15:27,650 --> 00:15:29,550
Okay.
265
00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:32,990
I'm gonna give you a shot to knock you out,
so you don't see anything you're not supposed to.
266
00:15:33,090 --> 00:15:36,060
But if you need to cry, now would be a good time.
267
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,130
Thank you.
268
00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:43,900
Hello?
269
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:52,000
Oh. Hey, Pat.
270
00:15:54,580 --> 00:15:56,780
Thank you for taking the boys.
271
00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:00,790
I'll be happy to take yours
next week, if you want.
272
00:16:03,590 --> 00:16:06,790
[Door Opens, Closes]
273
00:16:06,890 --> 00:16:11,350
"Dear baby, sorry about
laying all this on you in written form."
274
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,770
Randy, they're gone.
275
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,880
Earl, don't move.
276
00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:25,950
Do not move.
277
00:16:27,550 --> 00:16:31,850
#There's a man who leads
a life of danger#
278
00:16:33,250 --> 00:16:36,280
- # To everyone he meets #
- Thank you for this artifact.
279
00:16:36,390 --> 00:16:39,450
P. Diddy will pay a pretty penny,
once I hammer it into the hood of a Bentley.
280
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,190
Here you will find the man you seek.
281
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:45,320
- # Another chance he takes #
- He's awake.
282
00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:50,330
#Odds are he won't live
to see tomorrow #
283
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:53,410
#Secret agent man #
284
00:16:53,510 --> 00:16:56,960
#Secret agent man #
285
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,870
- # They've given you a number#
- Don't worry. We'll get out of this.
286
00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:02,000
- # And taken away your name #
- Uh, it's cool.
287
00:17:07,990 --> 00:17:10,390
- # Beware of pretty faces #
- My contact lens popped out.
288
00:17:10,490 --> 00:17:12,460
#That you find #
289
00:17:13,830 --> 00:17:17,920
#Apretty face can hide
an evil mind #
290
00:17:18,030 --> 00:17:21,360
You don't tell me what I want,
I'll kill your wives one by one.
291
00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:23,370
- [All Whimpering]
- Starting with the hot one.
292
00:17:23,470 --> 00:17:25,840
Fakira! Okay, okay. I will tell you.
293
00:17:25,940 --> 00:17:28,500
The anthrax will be released
from the, uh, A.C. Duct...
294
00:17:28,610 --> 00:17:31,040
in the northwest corner of the building.
295
00:17:31,140 --> 00:17:33,940
#Secret agent man #
296
00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:37,540
#Secret agent man #
297
00:17:37,650 --> 00:17:39,620
- # They've given you a number##
- [Beeping]
298
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:43,620
[Earl] This might be a bad time,
but I need to use the bathroom.
299
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,690
You're wearing a diaper.
300
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,760
[Helicopter Blades Whirring]
301
00:17:54,670 --> 00:17:56,640
Crabman?
302
00:17:56,740 --> 00:17:58,430
[Together]
Hey, Earl.
303
00:17:58,540 --> 00:18:02,800
- Is it over?
- I'm sure you have a lot of questions.
304
00:18:02,910 --> 00:18:07,010
- Nope. Just the one. Is it over?
- Yeah. It's over.
305
00:18:07,110 --> 00:18:10,170
And we're sorry we had to
knock you out so many times.
306
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,950
Forty-five, to be exact.
You're gonna want to drink a lot of water today.
307
00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:16,420
W-W-Will there be any side effects?
308
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,620
Ge- Ge- Ge-
309
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:19,990
Just that.
310
00:18:20,090 --> 00:18:21,820
- [Thumping]
- [Whining]
311
00:18:21,930 --> 00:18:24,450
- Engine's failing!
- [Alarm Beeping]
312
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,560
[Coughing]
313
00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:28,400
We're goin' down!
314
00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:37,430
Not enough parachutes!
Earl, you get the first parachute...
315
00:18:37,540 --> 00:18:39,740
because you're a civilian-
316
00:18:39,850 --> 00:18:42,750
and more importantly, because you're a friend!
317
00:18:42,850 --> 00:18:44,340
Thanks, Crabman.
318
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:47,850
Just in case I never see you again,
I just wanna say-
319
00:18:47,950 --> 00:18:49,950
Ge- Ge-Ge-Ge-
320
00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:51,960
I feel the same way!
321
00:18:52,060 --> 00:18:55,120
[Screaming]
322
00:18:55,230 --> 00:18:57,660
[Screaming]
323
00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:04,000
Ah!
[Laughing] Whoo!
324
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:06,370
- Here. Take it.
- No!
325
00:19:06,470 --> 00:19:08,440
This is an order, Agent Monroe!
326
00:19:08,540 --> 00:19:10,440
You're no longer my commanding officer!
327
00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:13,770
- [Alarm Beeping]
- But I'm still your father, and I love you.
328
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:17,840
I've waited so long for you to say that.
I'm not leaving without a hug first!
329
00:19:17,950 --> 00:19:21,820
- There's no time!
- I'm not accepting that excuse anymore, Dad!
330
00:19:30,630 --> 00:19:32,530
Darnell speaks seven languages...
331
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,900
and has a black belt
in three styles of fighting that end in "do."
332
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,940
He's gonna be fine.
333
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:41,340
And Earl has a real nice smile
and can play "Wipe Out" on his stomach.
334
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,410
He's gonna be fine too.
335
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,670
We just gotta be strong.
336
00:19:47,780 --> 00:19:49,840
[Horn Honks]
337
00:19:56,590 --> 00:19:59,150
[Randy]
That's Earl!
338
00:20:03,260 --> 00:20:05,200
[Earl Narrating]
Everyone was safe.
339
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:09,700
And Crabman would never again have to
pretend to be anyone other than who he was-
340
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,070
a loving husband, a great father...
341
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,870
and one of the best friends I ever had.
342
00:20:14,970 --> 00:20:17,570
[Man On TV]
Coming up, it was a busy day in world news.
343
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,610
A theft in Cairo's Royal Egyptian Museum...
344
00:20:20,710 --> 00:20:23,380
the crash of a military helicopter
in the Bay of Bengal...
345
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:27,180
and a bomb containing enough anthrax
to kill everyone in Western France...
346
00:20:27,290 --> 00:20:29,410
mysteriously failed to detonate.
347
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,120
Now it's time to take a look at
last week's Camden school bus report.
348
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:33,890
Shh.
349
00:20:33,990 --> 00:20:35,890
Don't worry, I'll never say a-
350
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,120
[Grunting]
351
00:20:38,230 --> 00:20:41,100
[Clicking, Grunting]
352
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,860
[Gurgling]
353
00:20:47,310 --> 00:20:49,470
Let's eat.