1
00:00:03,803 --> 00:00:07,398
[Earl] I do think being a sunburned guy
is a good costume for Halloween.
2
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,737
- We can't both do the same thing.
- Come on.
3
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:13,574
Two sunburned guys
is way funnier than one.
4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,944
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
5
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:17,949
Come on. Do it with me.
6
00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:22,954
[Together]
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
7
00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:24,956
Maybe you're right.
8
00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:29,290
[Together]
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
9
00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:31,296
Oh, perfect timing.
10
00:00:31,398 --> 00:00:35,232
I can't figure out how to get this
coffin lid on right. Can y'all help me?
11
00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,701
Joy, we're not stupid.
12
00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:39,704
What's gonna pop out
of there and scare us?
13
00:00:39,806 --> 00:00:42,366
Nothin'. Nothin'.
14
00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:45,876
How about we just
stand back over here...
15
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:48,072
and you show us how the lid works?
16
00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:50,206
- [Shouting]
- [Shouting]
17
00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:52,876
[Laughing]
18
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,387
[Exhales]
Hey, Earl.
19
00:00:56,489 --> 00:00:59,083
Hey, Crabman.
20
00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:04,062
I told you that was a bad idea, Joy.
21
00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:06,496
Oh, don't worry.
The kids won't punch that hard.
22
00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:08,624
Is this why you called us over here?
23
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,727
Course not. If I just wanted
to see you scream like a little bitch...
24
00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:13,806
I'd make you sit
through Pumpkinhead again.
25
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,671
You're here because you need
to give the boys a good Halloween.
26
00:01:16,776 --> 00:01:19,472
[Earl Narrating]
Joy was talking about number 94 on my list-
27
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:21,843
ruined Dodge and Earl Junior's Halloween.
28
00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:24,416
I thought you were taking
the kids trick-or-treatin'.
29
00:01:24,517 --> 00:01:27,418
[Slurred]
Oh, you wanted me to go with them?
30
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,420
[Crowd Chanting]
Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight...
31
00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:34,016
fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight,
fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight-
32
00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:35,594
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
33
00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:39,153
You need to throw a Halloween party for the boys
and everybody else in this neighborhood...
34
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,460
who spent all night looking for 'em,
not to mention me.
35
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:44,935
My hands were shakin' so bad, I could
barely put my makeup on for the news crew.
36
00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:48,371
Fine. I'll throw a party.
But you gotta admit, you loved it...
37
00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:51,035
when they let you drive the speedboat
when they were draggin' the lake.
38
00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:54,307
I had that thing hummin'.
39
00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:56,974
My name is Earl.
40
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,685
Hey, Darnell, Willie let me
borrow his glass eye...
41
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,688
for Dodge and EarlJunior's party.
42
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,281
I thought we could float it
in the witches'pot...
43
00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:09,054
but I can't find any of
that spooky ice to go with it.
44
00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:12,859
We tried pouring hot water over regular ice,
but you know what happened?
45
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,400
- It melted?
- You tried that too, huh?
46
00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:18,494
[Catalina Speaking Spanish]
47
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,700
Who's that with Catalina?
48
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,970
That's her nephew. Oscar.
49
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:27,842
"Oh-scar"- Like Oscar, but with an "O."
50
00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:30,211
Her sister sent him
to America for a vacation.
51
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,876
He arrived yesterday.
52
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,724
I swear I didn't order this.
53
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,726
Wait. Are you a dishwasher?
54
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,388
- No.
- Yeah, we didn't order this.
55
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,397
The really sad part is...
56
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:49,297
the waybill said "bananas,
magazines and little boy."
57
00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:52,200
I can't help but think someone
at Customs wasn't doing their job.
58
00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:55,365
I wish I had a little brother.
Thanks, Earl.
59
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:59,206
Randy, you know it's on my list-
cost Randy a little brother.
60
00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:02,145
- How'd you do that?
- Dad made Mom get fixed...
61
00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:05,740
after he caught Earl playing a game
of"Watch Randy in the washing machine."
62
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:09,413
I swallowed a lot of bleach.
That's why I can't taste salt.
63
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,719
I put it on the gentle cycle.
You never tell that part of the story.
64
00:03:12,825 --> 00:03:14,918
Well, if you're interested
in getting a brother...
65
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,588
you could try the local office
of Big Bros, Little Bros.
66
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,597
Oh, yeah. I've seen their sign.
67
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:23,362
I always thought it was a hip-hop
clothing store with a huge range of sizes.
68
00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:26,597
No, they match up needy young boys
with older, mostly unmarried men...
69
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,606
Iooking to take someone
under their wing.
70
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,541
Surprisingly enough,
usually it works out just fine.
71
00:03:31,644 --> 00:03:34,636
[Earl Narrating] So me and Randy
cleaned up, put on our Sunday clothes...
72
00:03:34,747 --> 00:03:36,806
and went down to
Big Bros, Little Bros.
73
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:39,316
So, tell me a little bit
about yourself, Randy.
74
00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:42,616
Well, I'm 31 and I live in a motel.
75
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:46,385
I have three pairs of pants
and five shirts...
76
00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:50,121
and, uh, that pretty much
sums me up, yeah.
77
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,960
Oh, and this is my brother, Earl.
We're very close.
78
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:56,331
- We even sleep in the same bed.
- B-But not in a weird way.
79
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,768
Just in a "there's only one bed" way.
80
00:03:58,871 --> 00:04:00,839
[Randy]
Yeah, and we sleep facin'out...
81
00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:04,000
so if anything touches,
it's our butts and not our wieners.
82
00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:08,837
[Earl Narrating] Since there were
way more little bros than big bros...
83
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:11,246
the counselor tried
to give Randy a shot.
84
00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:13,842
Ooh- Hah!
85
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:18,754
You guys, this kid is a part
of our hot potato game too.
86
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,653
Now just because he's gonna be
sittin' in this chair...
87
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,662
for the rest of his natural life...
88
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:27,028
with those bright white shoes
that'll never get dirty...
89
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:30,762
doesn't make him any
different from me or you.
90
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:33,236
Go ahead. Throw him the ball.
91
00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:37,105
- There you go. Way to include everyone.
- [Boy] Yeah.
92
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:41,977
- Now, who wants to play kickball?
- [Boys Cheering]
93
00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:44,948
Wait for me.
94
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:46,985
[Earl Narrating]
I was startin'to have my doubts...
95
00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:48,986
about whether Randy
would be a good Big Brother.
96
00:04:49,088 --> 00:04:51,921
Duck, duck, duck, duck-
Goose.
97
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:56,359
- You're still "it."
- But the people at the program
didn't have any doubts at all.
98
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:58,692
They were sure.
99
00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:01,866
I was actually kind of relieved Randy
didn't get accepted as a big brother...
100
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,095
but I could never tell him that.
101
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:07,195
They screwed up, man. They don't know
what an awesome big brother is...
102
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,207
because an awesome
big brother is you.
103
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,800
I don't know where I went wrong.
104
00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:15,312
You didn't, Randy. You were perfect.
Those people are stupid.
105
00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:17,815
A little brother doesn't
have to be a person.
106
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:20,215
Maybe you could get a pet.
107
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,084
W-W-Well, n-not a pet.
Maybe a- a plant.
108
00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:26,090
I hate plants! Plants suck!
109
00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:28,888
I'm sorry, plants! I'm just mad!
110
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,553
Earl, could you give me a hand?
111
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:34,190
There's a customer at Club Chubby
who thinks he's hilarious.
112
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,894
None of the other strippers
will help me get it off.
113
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,164
They're just jealous 'cause they never get fives.
114
00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:43,470
Do they get little brothers? 'Cause then
they should stop bitchin' and shut the hell up!
115
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:46,272
I'm sorry, other strippers.
I'm just mad!
116
00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:49,644
- What's wrong with him?
- Randy wanted a little brother...
117
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:53,344
but we couldn't find one,
so now we've moved on to plants.
118
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:56,513
What about Oscar?
He could use a male influence in his life.
119
00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:59,420
When he was a baby, his dad
left to join The Rebels.
120
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:01,857
They're a very popular
singing group in my country.
121
00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:04,293
Yeah, I've seen their tapes
on sale at the car wash.
122
00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,797
- But-
- He could really use a good male role model.
123
00:06:06,899 --> 00:06:11,029
Well, I'm no male model,
but I'd be a darned good big brother.
124
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:14,470
- What do you think, Earl?
- Yeah.
125
00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:16,974
Oscar is, uh, definitely an option.
126
00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:19,670
We'll keep him in mind
if it doesn't work out with the plant.
127
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,770
No, I said I hated plants.
128
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:25,282
Wait a minute. You don't think
I can be a big brother, do you?
129
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,411
[High-pitched Voice]
No. No, no, no, no, Randy.
130
00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:30,455
Are you crazy?
131
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,956
Of course I think you'd be
a good big brother.
132
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:37,655
- You're talkin' in the high-pitched lyin' voice.
- No, I'm not.
133
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:40,995
Then tell me in your normal
voice you think I can do this.
134
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:43,000
[High-pitched Voice]
Randy, are you crazy?
135
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:45,400
[Laughing, Babbling]
136
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:49,270
I'll do it.
137
00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:51,605
[Earl Narrating]
I was worried about Randy taking care of Oscar...
138
00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,111
but I had my hands full
of important party business.
139
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:58,479
How are they gonna play
"Pin the Tail on the Mummy"
if the first pin they stick in makes her pop?
140
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:02,611
- That's not realistic.
- Realistic? Mummies don't have tails.
141
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:05,691
How do you know? Were you alive
back then? Are you Brendan Fraser?
142
00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:08,192
Get me a mummy I can stick a damn pin in.
143
00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:13,193
Well, leave this one.
I know two-ply when I see it.
144
00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:15,961
Darnell will be thrilled.
145
00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:21,172
- Hey, Earl.
- How's it goin'?
146
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,936
Well, Oscar lost a finger
on the Ferris wheel.
147
00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:26,603
- Randy, what the-
- I'm just kiddin'.
148
00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:30,944
He's fine, 'cause I'm a great big brother,
no matter what you think.
149
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:33,541
We got that bandage
from a car wreck we passed.
150
00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:35,848
- I'm going to the rest room.
- You gonna drop a dos?
151
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,794
Randy-
152
00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:52,837
I saw it, Earl. I'll take care of it.
153
00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:56,972
[Earl Narrating]
Randy waited for Oscar to finish his dos...
154
00:07:57,076 --> 00:08:00,477
then took him somewhere
a little more private to have their talk.
155
00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:10,778
Oscar, Earl and me
saw you steal those tips...
156
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:12,790
and stealin's wrong.
157
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:15,417
Now, I want you to go back there...
158
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:17,655
return the money and apologize...
159
00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:19,731
and you'll feel better
about yourself.
160
00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:25,126
Whew! Yeah, huge relief.
161
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,900
That was a doozy,
but we got through it, little bro.
162
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,669
Now, how about we just head
back to the Crab Shack and-
163
00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:33,108
- Don't tell me what to do.
- What?
164
00:08:33,212 --> 00:08:37,376
[Speaking Foreign Language]
165
00:08:37,483 --> 00:08:40,213
- What are you doin'?
- [Foreign Language]
166
00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:43,186
- [Shuddering]
- [Oscar Chanting]
167
00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:50,921
Satan.
168
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,834
[Exhales]
169
00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:59,504
Randy, check it out.
170
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:02,403
Me and Magnum P.I. Made
a sign for the El Camino.
171
00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:06,137
Pretty cool sign. If you don't want it
shredded by Satan, I'd leave it out here.
172
00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:09,237
- What?
- Oscar got upset about the stealin' thing...
173
00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:12,317
and now he's just a little bit
completely possessed.
174
00:09:12,418 --> 00:09:16,286
Randy, calm down. He's probably just
tryin' to get out of trouble for stealin'.
175
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,085
Hey, Oscar, we need to-
176
00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,391
Come on out, Oscar.
177
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:26,397
Actin' possessed doesn't scare me.
178
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,990
I got a cousin with Tourette's
who's really religious.
179
00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:31,001
It's very similar.
180
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:35,833
- [Gasps]
- Randy, it was just the wind.
181
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:37,876
Come on, Oscar.
182
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:50,312
- [Electricity Crackling]
- [Water Dripping]
183
00:09:56,395 --> 00:09:58,920
Look, you're not gonna freak me out.
184
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,474
[Voices Whispering]
185
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:15,872
[Yells]
186
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:18,348
- Holy Moses!
- [Yelps]
187
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:25,856
Oh, my God, Earl. Those are voodoo dolls
of you and a fat guy with stains on his shirt.
188
00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:31,056
[Yells]
189
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:34,598
Cute.
190
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:37,294
Look, Oscar, you need to return
the money you stole...
191
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:39,303
and quit tryin' to freak me out.
192
00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:41,873
There's nothin' you can do
that I haven't done be-
193
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,704
Oh, God! Never did that.
194
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,745
[Groans]
195
00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:51,906
- Hey, Catalina.
- !Ay!
196
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:03,091
I'll just be a minute.
197
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:09,601
Catalina, we need to talk
about your freaky little nephew.
198
00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:13,229
- Sorry, Nick. We'll be out in a second.
- [Muffled] That's okay.
199
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:16,069
- Oscar is a little cutie, isn't he?
- He sucks.
200
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:20,441
He's got Randy convinced he knows voodoo,
and he blew dust in my eyes. It's still burning.
201
00:11:20,546 --> 00:11:23,640
You told him what to do, didn't you?
He hates that.
202
00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:26,547
By the way, it wasn't dust.
It's the ground bones of a graveyard sparrow.
203
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:29,416
They say it blinds you
to the dangers that lie ahead.
204
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,581
It's also a great exfoliant.
205
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,955
Look, I gotta go throw
a party forJoy's kids.
206
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,858
I don't have time for this.
You need to take your freak back.
207
00:11:36,962 --> 00:11:39,396
- No. I'm his big brother.
- You're not actin' like it.
208
00:11:39,498 --> 00:11:42,592
- You can't take care of him.
- That's what you said about the goldfish.
209
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,136
- You ate the goldfish.
- You dared me.
210
00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:47,671
Oscar can't stay with me.
Every time I tell him what to do...
211
00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:50,139
he channels my dead grandmother
and she tells me what to do.
212
00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:52,938
- I can't live like that.
- Well, then box him up and send him home.
213
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,070
You said you'd take him, so he's yours.
214
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:58,548
[Nick Groaning]
215
00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:01,651
[Earl Narrating] I didn't think a crazy
little kid should be at the motel alone...
216
00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:04,951
and Randy didn't want to be left alone
with a crazy little kid at the motel...
217
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,957
so we all headed over toJoy's.
218
00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,894
Great decorations, Crabman.
219
00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:13,658
That dead body in the front of
the trailer park looks real.
220
00:12:13,766 --> 00:12:16,792
- What dead body?
- The one the kids are jumpin' on.
221
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,597
I'll be right back.
222
00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:24,203
- Who are you supposed to be?
- Barbie. Can't you tell?
223
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,437
Taped my nipples down
so my boobies are smooth.
224
00:12:27,713 --> 00:12:29,840
Hey! It ain't goody bag time.
225
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:32,110
Don't tell me what to do.
226
00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:35,187
Look, maybe kids talk back from Guatelatucky
or wherever you're from...
227
00:12:35,287 --> 00:12:38,848
but you must be el pollo loco
if you think you can sass me like that.
228
00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,926
[Speaking Foreign Language]
229
00:12:43,295 --> 00:12:45,525
Uh-oh. Earl-
230
00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:47,496
- Earl!
- What the hell?
231
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,431
Ow!
232
00:12:49,535 --> 00:12:52,197
Oh, my God. I've seen this before.
233
00:12:52,304 --> 00:12:55,171
He's doin' voodoo. He's evil.
234
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:57,174
He's evil! He's evil!
235
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:59,870
[Earl Narrating]Joy had seen
these signs before with her babysitter.
236
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:03,039
[Chanting Foreign Language]
237
00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:21,097
- What the hell?
- Never again, child...
238
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:24,499
will you steal cigarettes
out of my pocketbook.
239
00:13:24,603 --> 00:13:26,901
You are cursed.
240
00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:30,908
You will become pregnant
before you are married.
241
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:36,040
Oh, snap.
242
00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:39,016
He's full of voodoo.
243
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:41,586
You get him outta here
before it starts rainin' blood...
244
00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:44,679
- or he forces us to eat jerk chicken.
- Joy, he's just a kid.
245
00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:48,453
As was The Omen, Exorcist,
and all them Children of the Corn.
246
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,495
The devil likes 'em young.
247
00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:53,156
Probably gets in through
that soft spot on their skull.
248
00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,358
Come on, Oscar. Let's go.
249
00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:01,831
And you can forget crossin'
the boys off your list.
250
00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:03,841
Your freak child ruined the party.
251
00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:06,878
I'll see you Halloween '09, dummy!
252
00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:10,642
- Drop it, Earl.
- No, I'm not gonna drop it, Randy.
253
00:14:10,749 --> 00:14:13,479
He's messin' with people's heads
with all that fake voodoo...
254
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,520
and now he's messin' with my list.
255
00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:19,216
Because of him, I can't cross off
Joy's kids until next Halloween.
256
00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:21,384
Karma's not gonna like that.
257
00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:23,961
How come when you talk
about voodoo it's always fake...
258
00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:27,624
but then you run around scared
of this silly made-up magic you call karma?
259
00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:30,065
'Cause karma's real.
I've seen it work.
260
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:32,797
I haven't seen proof
that voodoo can do anything.
261
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,042
Earl, Earl, Earl.
That's the Randy doll.
262
00:14:40,145 --> 00:14:42,306
- He's got a Randy doll.
- It's just a doll, Randy.
263
00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:44,712
[Speaking Foreign Language]
264
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:50,380
- What's he doin'? I don't like it. I don't like it!
- Nothin' gonna happen. It's fake.
265
00:14:50,489 --> 00:14:52,548
Nothin's happenin', Oscar. Give it up.
266
00:14:52,658 --> 00:14:56,424
I'm putting a curse on your brother that'll
make him scared, nervous and uneasy.
267
00:14:56,528 --> 00:14:58,428
My God, it's workin'!
268
00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:01,897
- I am scared, nervous and uneasy.
- Randy, it's not voodoo.
269
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:05,164
It's just power of suggestion.
He's messin' with your mind.
270
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:08,934
Then it shouldn't matter if I do this.
[Kissing Sounds]
271
00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:11,669
Oh, God! Voodoo's makin' us gay!
272
00:15:11,777 --> 00:15:14,610
You better kiss, or I'll make
these dolls do something worse.
273
00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:18,274
Put your tongue in my mouth,
Earl. I don't want to do somethin' worse!
274
00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:20,818
Randy, he's just messin'
with your mind. It's not real.
275
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,820
Then how come I'm tryin' to kiss you?
276
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,083
- [Grunts]
- I would love to have a
leisurely conversation with you...
277
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:27,158
where I say, "Hey, Earl"
and you say, "Hey, Crabman"...
278
00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:29,659
and we go on from there,
but there's no time for that.
279
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,753
- You all gotta get out of here.
- Why?
280
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:34,833
Joy's worried about what Randy's young protege's
gonna do with that hair he yanked off her...
281
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,164
so she's formed a witch-hunt posse,
and they're headed this way.
282
00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:41,672
[Earl Narrating]
Since the mob was on their way to the motel...
283
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,674
we doubled back to buy some time.
284
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:47,212
Also, Darnell had some stuff
in the trailer to help us get away.
285
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:53,813
Why do you already have fake passports
with our pictures on 'em?
286
00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:58,015
I was trained to think three steps ahead.
I saw this comin' last December.
287
00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,715
What do these pills do?
288
00:15:59,825 --> 00:16:01,622
They're cyanide.
They'll kill you in 30 seconds.
289
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,627
[Spits]
What?
290
00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:06,789
Just kidding, buddy. I saw you take yours.
It's a multi-vitamin.
291
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:09,697
It's important to keep your immune system
up when you're on the run.
292
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,703
[People Shouting]
293
00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:17,803
[Clamoring]
294
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:21,346
Crap. Someone at the motel
must've tipped 'em off.
295
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,719
Earl and Randy are your friends.
296
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:33,087
And that little boy hasn't hurt anyone.
Now let them go in peace.
297
00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:36,389
That little voodoo-rican freak
cast a spell on my husband!
298
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,486
[Shouting]
299
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,800
Sorry, baby, but it's
for your own good.
300
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:46,200
Reverend, sprinkle some
of that holy water on him.
301
00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:48,273
Keep it off his hair.
You know black people.
302
00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:51,400
It gets all crazy when it gets wet.
303
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:55,002
We're screwed-
unless we give 'em Oscar.
304
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:57,082
[Earl Narrating]
Oscar was in a bad spot...
305
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:59,616
and for the first time,
he really needed a big brother.
306
00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:01,879
We're not given' 'em Oscar.
307
00:17:01,987 --> 00:17:05,115
- Look at 'em, Randy.
- We're not sending him out there.
308
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:09,126
Don't worry, buddy.
Everything's gonna be all right.
309
00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:13,494
Oscar's my little brother, and I'm gonna stand
by him the way a big brother's supposed to...
310
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,533
the way you always have for me.
311
00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:19,536
Besides, you know I've always wanted
to fight 30 people at once.
312
00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:25,568
[Yelling]
313
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:32,576
You got one hell
of a big brother, kid.
314
00:17:32,684 --> 00:17:35,118
[Earl Narrating] And as long as people
were defending their little brothers-
315
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,984
Come on, you punks!
Give me your best-
316
00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:45,497
It was a fairly one-sided fight.
By that, I mean...
317
00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:49,897
they stuck mostly to stompin'the left side
of my head and the left side of my rib cage.
318
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:52,732
#He's the tear in your eye
Being tempted by his lies #
319
00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:55,966
#He's the knife in your back
He's rage #
320
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,135
Remember, Reverend, if this goes bad,
I'll be your alibi, you be mine.
321
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:01,144
We were at the "liberry."
322
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,146
[Earl Narrating]
Didn't look good.
323
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:07,514
Me and Randy were stuck, and there was
nothin'left to stopJoy and her angry mob.
324
00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:09,553
Then I saw it.
325
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,623
- # Shout at the devil #
- [Groaning]
326
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:13,623
By standing up for Oscar...
327
00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:16,523
Randy had finally gotten to feel
what it's like to be a big brother.
328
00:18:16,628 --> 00:18:20,428
If I crossed him off the list,
maybe karma would save us.
329
00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:25,336
- # Shout, shout #
- # Shout at the devil ##
330
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:28,770
Oh, my God. He made a doll of me,
and she's got no boobies.
331
00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:30,637
[People Gasp]
332
00:18:30,742 --> 00:18:33,210
Please don't stab my doll.
Don't kill me.
333
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:36,145
Kill him. If he dies, he knows
where he's goin'.
334
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:39,046
I'm not gonna kill anyone.
The knife is to cut the pumpkin pie...
335
00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:42,518
for the Halloween party
your dolls are having.
336
00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,816
I just want you to stop
hurting my big brother...
337
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:47,391
and I want everyone to be happy.
338
00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:49,393
[Earl Narrating]
Karma's a powerful thing.
339
00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:53,226
Apparently seeing the good in me and Randy
made Oscar want to be good too.
340
00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:58,133
And lucky for Oscar, the power
of suggestion is also a powerful thing.
341
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,572
[Laughing, Chattering]
342
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:06,473
People must've liked seein'themselves
havin'fun at that doll party...
343
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:10,446
because before you knew it,
that was exactly what was happening.
344
00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:13,017
Turns out I wasn't gonna
have to wait until next year...
345
00:19:13,118 --> 00:19:15,450
to cross off Dodge
and Earl Junior after all.
346
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:17,886
This is the best
Halloween ever-
347
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,925
even if I can never
straighten my arm again.
348
00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:23,756
I'm gonna go ask Big Joe
to give it a pull.
349
00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:26,524
Well, karma got us
out of that one, huh?
350
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:29,465
- What?
- My list item. I crossed it off in time...
351
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:32,901
and karma made you stop freakin'
everybody out with your fake voodoo.
352
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:37,032
I didn't stop doing voodoo. I saved you guys
with voodoo. You would've gotten killed...
353
00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:40,578
if I didn't put a party spell
on these idiots to keep them from hurting you.
354
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:43,580
Party spell? Come on, you made
their dolls have a party...
355
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:45,650
'cause karma wanted you
to do somethin' good.
356
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:49,209
If you wanted to help us with voodoo,
you would've stuck pins in their dolls.
357
00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:51,915
I couldn't find any pins.
358
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:57,656
Yeah? Well, maybe karma didn't
want you to find any pins.
359
00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,924
[Earl Narrating]
Seein'everyone finally gettin'along...
360
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,227
I started to realize that
it didn't matter.
361
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:04,894
Call it karma, call it voodoo-
362
00:20:05,003 --> 00:20:06,903
Whatever works for you works...
363
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:09,473
and there was no use
arguin'about it anymore.
364
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:11,975
- Yeah.
- # I saw a werewolf with
a Chinese menu in his hand #
365
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:15,137
Good thing me and the minister
scared the devil outta that little freak.
366
00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:17,147
Reverend Hollingsworth
thinks I've got great leadership skills.
367
00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:19,740
Says that God wants me
to run for mayor.
368
00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:22,820
- Good for you.
- # Gonna get a big dish ofbeef chow mein #
369
00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:25,253
[Earl Narrating]
Like I said, there was no point arguing.
370
00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:29,760
#Ahhooooo
Werewolves of London #
371
00:20:29,861 --> 00:20:32,386
#Ahhooooo ##