1
00:00:00,934 --> 00:00:03,637
My name is Earl.

2
00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:10,944
Wow. I can't believe
you're gettin' out today.

3
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:14,948
You could earn some time-off
certificates too if you did
good things for the warden.

4
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,884
I'm in here
for 20 years, Earl.

5
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:20,154
That would mean I'd have
to spend 10 straight years
doin' good things.

6
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:22,490
Who's got that kind of time?

7
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:26,327
Hey, Earl.
Frank and I, Paco,
made this for you,

8
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:29,363
so you don't forget
your time in here, huh?

9
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,466
Thanks, guys.

10
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,107
Don't tell me you're here
to pick up Earl too.

11
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:42,443
You don't even have a car.
What's he gonna do,
ride bitch on your donkey?

12
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:44,778
No, if he wanted to ride bitch,
he'd climb on your back.

13
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:47,448
You look sweaty.
Is that from cleanin'
or strippin'?

14
00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:51,685
Maybe if you had as many jobs
as you do illegitimate children,
you wouldn't live in a camper.

15
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:54,822
- No offense, Darnell.
- This is between
you two ladies.

16
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:58,092
Are you all here to watch
me and Earl do one of them
super-slow runnin' hugs...

17
00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:00,628
like they did in that movie,
Cherries of Fire?

18
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,530
I've been practicing.

19
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:14,074
That's sweet.
I wish our boys
would bond as brothers.

20
00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:16,344
They keep playin' this game
called "eye poke."

21
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:19,147
It's all fun until one of them
gets poked in the eye.

22
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:22,150
Hey, there he is.

23
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:25,586
[ Earl Narrating ] Finally,
it was the moment I'd been
workin' for all those months.

24
00:01:25,653 --> 00:01:27,421
I was gonna be free.

25
00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:30,124
Earl! Earl!
Earl! Earl!

26
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,160
Randy, calm down.
You're gonna piddle on the rug.

27
00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,495
Hey, guys.

28
00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:37,898
Hey, Ron. Open up.
I'm gettin' out today.

29
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:41,235
I brought you a caramel apple
because all the sweet stuff
is on the outside.

30
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:44,338
I've really been gettin'
into food metaphors lately.

31
00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:46,207
Life's changed
since you've been
on the inside.

32
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:51,812
Earl, we-- we got a problem.
You're not on the list
of prisoners gettin' out today.

33
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:54,282
What?
And I hate to kick you
when you're down,

34
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,617
but you're also not
on the extra pudding list.

35
00:01:57,885 --> 00:02:00,721
- What's the holdup?
- I gotta talk to the warden.

36
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,724
He's not
on the pudding list.

37
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:07,461
Earl, nobody loves pudding
more than me,

38
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,763
but you gotta pick your battles!

39
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:13,301
You shredded my certificates?
I thought you might
be cheesed off.

40
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:17,805
That's why I had 'em
shackle you. Look. I'm sorry,
but I'm not lettin' you out.

41
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:21,775
Now I know I should've
said something earlier,
but I tend to ignore problems.

42
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:24,278
You'd be surprised
how often they go away.

43
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,747
But we had a deal.
We shook on it, remember?

44
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:30,017
Both our hands were
a little damp, so they made
that farty noise and we giggled?

45
00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:34,855
I know. But all the help
you've been givin' me
has made me look so competent.

46
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:39,560
Even my wife is impressed.
She is talkin' about letting me
get my own bank account.

47
00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:42,530
I've done everything
you asked me to.
I'm supposed to go home today!

48
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,565
Oh, come on.
How about this
for a deal?

49
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:47,535
You scratch my back,
and...

50
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,704
my back won't itch.

51
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,773
Plus, I won't throw you
in solitary.

52
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,343
Deal?

53
00:02:57,545 --> 00:03:00,981
Okay, deal.
[ Yells ]

54
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:04,318
Deal with that.
[ Whimpering ]

55
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:07,521
What's the point of shackles
if he can do that?

56
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:11,659
You can't do this.
I'm supposed to be free.

57
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:15,128
Look, I'll let you out
of solitary when you
agree to help me.

58
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:20,801
- [ Guard ] Hey, get in there!
- Well, what good are shackles
if he can do that?

59
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:24,472
Man, we haven't stood
outside a prison
this long...

60
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:27,508
since we went tailgatin'
at that guy's execution.

61
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:30,578
- Hey, for the record,
I was protesting.
- Whatever.

62
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:34,282
This is clearly
not happening.
Let's just get outta here.

63
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:38,552
Wait. You guys can't go.
We were gonna build
a human pyramid for Earl.

64
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:42,189
Now it's just gonna be
two people kneelin' next
to each other in a parking lot.

65
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:45,293
- That doesn't say
"Welcome home."
- [ Engine Starts ]

66
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:46,994
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna have to go too.

67
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:50,063
If I don't get a seat on
the bus, I'm gonna have to
stand and hold the pole.

68
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,399
It just feels like work.

69
00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:54,335
He's gonna hate
this pyramid.

70
00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:06,647
[ Earl Narrating ]
The point of
solitary confinement...

71
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:09,350
is to break down
a prisoner's mental state...

72
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,652
by keepin' him alone in a box
24 hours a day.

73
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:15,022
Fortunately, state law said
that each week I had the right
to a weekly prayer service.

74
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:19,660
- Please kneel.
- Unfortunately, the warden
found a way around that law.

75
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:21,662
[ Priest ]
...is of vanity.
Amen.

76
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:25,232
I was also allowed
a daily shower...

77
00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:27,435
and an hour of exercise.

78
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:36,276
- [ Roars ]
- Charging.

79
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:39,380
After a while,
I decided it was better
to just stay in my cell...

80
00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:41,281
and find other ways
to fill my time.

81
00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:43,484
And... reverse.

82
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,888
Double time.

83
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:55,128
I tried to keep my sanity
by developin' new hobbies.
Three words.

84
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:58,031
Movie.
First word:

85
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,970
"Eyes." Uh, "owl."

86
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,406
Uh, uh, "s-sleep"--

87
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:08,308
Uh, uh--
[ Stammering ]
"Sleepless"--

88
00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:11,545
Sleepless in Seattle!
But that didn't work.

89
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:16,216
And after a few weeks,
my mind just took off
on its own.

90
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:20,421
Don't want it! You're just
tryin' to fatten me up
for Thanksgiving!

91
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:23,290
Well, nobody eats
Earl J. Turkey!

92
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:26,360
Gobble, gobble, gobble.
Geek, geek.
Gobble, gobble, gobble.

93
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:28,429
[ Scatting Classical March ]
* Brump, brump
brump-bump-bump *

94
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:31,932
* Brump, brump, brump-bump-bump,
Brump, brump
brump-bump-bump **

95
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,968
Hey, flutes, just once,
could you wait for my cue?

96
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:38,472
** [ Man Gibbering ]
[ No Audible Dialogue ]

97
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:41,409
** [ Gibbering Continues ]

98
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,983
Cuckoo!

99
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,085
Gobble, gobble, gobble.

100
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,588
Gobble?

101
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:06,266
You ready to play ball?
Yeah, but you might
have to carry me.

102
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:09,336
I've traded my legs in
for magic beans.

103
00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:13,073
[ Whispering ]
I've disguised them as legs.

104
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:15,108
Shh.

105
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:24,217
Hey! You broke
just in time.

106
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,654
I need help gettin'
this place ready
for Christmas.

107
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,691
Hey, just because the prisoners
can't be with their families
for the holidays or get gifts...

108
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:34,795
or have the big Christmas dinner
doesn't mean they shouldn't have
Christmas spirit.

109
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:38,599
I-It's Christmas already?
Yeah--
Christmas 2010.

110
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,870
[ Laughs ]
Oh, I'm just kiddin'!

111
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:47,841
What, did you lose
your sense of humor in there?
[ Chuckles ]

112
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,744
Do you wanna lie down?
Do you wanna go stand
in the yard?

113
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:54,014
I wish I could
give you more options,
but ya are in prison.

114
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:57,017
Not for long.
What?

115
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,522
It's time to bust
outta this place.

116
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,427
[ Earl Narrating ]
I knew breakin' out of prison
was gonna be hard,

117
00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:09,497
so I got
the old gang back together.

118
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,599
Sure. Sure, I'll help you
think of a way to escape.

119
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:15,603
As long as you guys don't
sic a dog on me and drag me
back in like last time.

120
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:17,471
Frank, again,
we're sorry about that.

121
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:21,141
Nah, I'm just kiddin'.
I'm over it. Look, I really
don't know how to break out,

122
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:24,177
but if you want a list
of stuff that doesn't work,
I'm your guy.

123
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,279
[ Earl Narrating ]
Frank had a lot to teach us.

124
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:29,683
Things like: if you're gonna
disguise yourself
as an infirmary nurse,

125
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,619
make sure you don't
look too pretty.

126
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:34,622
Female!
[ Yells ]

127
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:38,492
[ Grunts, Yelping ]

128
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:42,763
[ Earl Narrating ] Also, don't
try to sneak out when they
throw away the old mattresses.

129
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:45,999
[ Man Yelping ]
Got one.

130
00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:53,273
[ Man ] * We gotta get out
of this place *
[ Laughing Loudly, Whoops ]

131
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:56,810
[ Earl Narrating ] Or,
if you do get over the fence,
don't take time to celebrate.

132
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:59,212
[ Whoops ]

133
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:02,816
We knew what didn't work.
Now we had to find
a plan that did.

134
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:08,155
So, while I was stuck doin'
the warden's errands, I kept
my eyes open for weak spots.

135
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:11,659
- I looked for loose drains.
- [ Water Gurgling In Distance ]

136
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:16,396
I even checked to see
if the fire alarm could create
a useful distraction.

137
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:20,534
* If it's the last thing
we ever do *
But that wasn't gonna work.

138
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:23,737
* We gotta get out
of this place *

139
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:26,473
* Girl, there's a better life *

140
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:29,843
* For me and you *
Finally, I found
a little opening.

141
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:32,512
Now I had to figure out
where that opening led.

142
00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:35,215
* I know it, baby
You know it too **

143
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:37,818
It wasn't hard to find
the prison blueprints.

144
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,920
The warden got lost so much,
he had 'em laminated...

145
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:42,556
so he could take 'em with him
on the way to the bathroom.

146
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:47,127
The problem was gonna be
getting 'em back to the barracks
without anyone noticin'.

147
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:52,365
So if we go into that air duct,
we'll have a direct path--
[ Laughing ]

148
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:55,769
from that storage closet
to the loading dock,
and then, boom, we're outside.

149
00:08:57,504 --> 00:09:00,340
Yeah, but gettin'
to the loading dock
is only half the battle.

150
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:03,677
We still have to get through
the front gate.
And then they search everything.

151
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,579
And I mean everything,
even coffins.

152
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:08,448
You know, I once spent
seven hours spooning
a dead guy for nothin'.

153
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:11,652
Well, if we can't
get past the front gate,
we're back to square one.

154
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:14,788
But, Earl, they don't
search everyone.

155
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:18,859
[ Earl Narrating ] While Randy
sometimes just says things to be
a part of the conversation,

156
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:22,062
this time he knew
what he was talkin' about.

157
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:25,933
Let 'em through.
I frisked a nun one time.
Got the runs for two weeks.

158
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:29,169
Could've been God.
Could've been a bad meatball.

159
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,104
Can't take any chances.

160
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:37,010
[ Earl Narrating ]
And since the prison had a mass
every Wednesday, I had a plan.

161
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,279
The other guys
thought it was a good one.

162
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:42,082
I think this escape
is the one that's
gonna work.

163
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:45,252
Well, I always say that,
but this time
I really mean it.

164
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:48,622
Yeah, and just in case
we need a little insurance--
[ Clears Throat ]

165
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:51,692
I made a zip gun.

166
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,662
But I only have
one bullet,

167
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:57,631
so hopefully all the guards'll
be standing in a line
at some point.

168
00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:00,868
[ Yelps ]
Geez! Man!

169
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,336
[ Man In Distance ]
Hey, what's up?

170
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,773
[ Earl Narrating ]
After Frank melted down
all my bedsprings,

171
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,941
we had another bullet.

172
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:10,811
And, before we knew it,
it was Wednesday--
time to break out.

173
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,781
You're cheating.

174
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:17,885
What? No one calls me a cheater.
Now I'm gonna push you.

175
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:21,488
That's it. Knock it off.

176
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:24,491
You and you...

177
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:27,227
and you are comin' with me.

178
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,629
[ Earl Narrating ]
Things were in motion
inside the prison,

179
00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:32,365
but we still needed some help
on the outside.

180
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:35,535
Luckily, my friends
were so mad about
the warden screwin' me over,

181
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,537
they were willin' to help.

182
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:39,539
I need a ride
to Planned Parenthood...

183
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:42,976
or some spiritual guidance
on whether or not
to keep my baby.

184
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:53,086
- Where's Father Tadone?
- He called in sick.

185
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:56,757
- Where's Sister Bernadette?
- She called in sick too.

186
00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:58,926
We're a little suspicious
ourselves.

187
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:14,207
[ Narrating ] Usually, when a
guard leads you down a deserted
hallway, it's a bad thing.

188
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,143
Today it wasn't.

189
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:22,049
This is it. I'll see you
on the outside, Randy.

190
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:25,252
You just called me "Randy."
I'm nervous.

191
00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:27,988
Not everyone's made out of steel
like you, Randy.

192
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:30,457
Damn it.
[ Pats Shoulder ]

193
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:34,127
[ Earl Narrating ]
From that moment on,
there was no turnin' back.

194
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,997
- [ Rat Squeaking ]
- Everything was workin' out,

195
00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:40,768
but we still had to get into
the air vent that would lead
to the loading dock.

196
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:43,470
There it is.
Is everyone here?

197
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,639
Yep.
Yep.

198
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:51,178
-Yep.
-Randy, what are you doin' here?
You're gonna get in trouble.

199
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:54,414
Why? I'm allowed to go home.
They never said what route
I had to take.

200
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:57,250
- ** [ Gospel Organ Flourishes ]
- Shh. They're startin' up.
Let's go.

201
00:11:57,317 --> 00:12:01,789
- Brothers and...
brothers dressed as sisters--
- [ Giggling ]

202
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:07,294
God's up there thinkin',
"Sure, I am all-powerful,

203
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:11,564
but I could still use
a little encouragement."

204
00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:15,068
- [ Prisoners Affirming ]
- [ Tambourine Rattling ]

205
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:20,107
And if you give the Lord just
one little tiny "hey," he'll
give you 100 "hos" in return.

206
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,610
** [ Organ Continues ]

207
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:26,446
[ Chanting ]
* When I say Holy, you say Ghost
Holy *
* Ghost *

208
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,015
* Holy *
* Ghost *

209
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,549
* When I say butter
you say toast *

210
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,284
- * Butter, butter *
- * Toast, toast *

211
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,486
* When I say Springer
you say host *

212
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:35,622
- * Springer, Springer *
- * Host, host **

213
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:39,492
[ Earl Narrating ] Now that
things were loud, we could
make some noise of our own.

214
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,529
* Oh, Jesus, you're so fine
You're so fine
you blow my mind *

215
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,432
* Hey, Jesus, hey, Jesus *
* Hey, hey
Sing it with me **

216
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,600
** [ Chanting Continues
In Distance ]

217
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,669
Yeah!

218
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,271
[ Prisoners ]
* Hallelujah *

219
00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:56,076
- * Say hallelujah *
- * Hallelujah **

220
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:59,512
** [ Call And Response
Continues In Distance ]

221
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,681
Hallelujah.

222
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:03,884
[ Metal Creaking ]

223
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,120
[ Yelps ]

224
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:24,504
Put the phone down.
I should've gone
for the gun.

225
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:35,148
Oh, crap. What do I do?
This is huge.
Think, Hickey.

226
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:40,420
Ha-ha-ha!
Oh, that's what that does.

227
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,523
You were probably lookin'
for this one. It says "Alarm."

228
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:48,996
Randy! Everybody be still
and let me figure out
what to do with our hostage.

229
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:53,166
Hostage?
What happened to us?
We used to be friends.

230
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:56,136
You shredded my certificates
and threw me in solitary.

231
00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:58,738
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
I missed you.

232
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:02,876
I used to peek through the slot
and watch you sleep sometimes.
Shut up!

233
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:05,245
[ Earl Narrating ]
While I was trying
to come up with a new plan,

234
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:08,215
Joy and Darnell were still busy
executin' the old one.

235
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:11,051
And their next step
was gettin' rid of the guard.

236
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,359
[ Groans Softly ]

237
00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:22,562
Where the hell'd
you learn to do that?
It doesn't matter.

238
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:26,099
We have 14 minutes
and 36 seconds
before he wakes up.

239
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:30,770
Wait a second.
Did you use that on me
the other night...

240
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:33,440
when I was beggin'
for round two and then
mysteriously passed out?

241
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:36,209
- Sorry, baby.
I'm not a machine.
- [ Exhales ]

242
00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:41,114
Well, it's been 10 minutes.
Have you thought
of anything yet?

243
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:44,284
I almost had an idea,
but now I lost it.
Thanks a lot.

244
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:48,788
That happens to me all the time.
Maybe I could scare it back.

245
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:52,092
- No, that's hiccups.
- I stand on my head
and drink water.

246
00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:55,428
- That's neat. Try that, Earl.
- That's for hiccups too.

247
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,030
- Well, don't you
have hiccups?
- No.

248
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,299
What are we talkin'
about then?

249
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:01,901
Just thought of somethin'.
Take your clothes off.

250
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:03,603
[ Gasps ]

251
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,979
God, where the hell are they?
They should be here by now.

252
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,447
- I'm gonna go climb in the vent
and look for them.
- Really?

253
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,951
No one went in
to save my Uncle Clyde...

254
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:21,088
when he was unfairly
incarcerated for taking Licorice
from a candy store.

255
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,556
Licorice was his daughter.
He had every right to take her.

256
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:31,131
Be careful, baby.

257
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:38,871
- Hey, Frank, where's Earl?
- He and Randy
fell through the ceiling.

258
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:42,942
Poor kid tried flapping
his arms, but it just kept him
from protecting his face.

259
00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:46,213
Never leave a man behind.
Civilians.

260
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:51,651
I can't do it, Randy.
I just can't do it.

261
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,521
We can't pretend
you're the warden
if you have a mustache.

262
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:57,824
So what's the big deal?
Mustaches are so 20 years ago.

263
00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:00,227
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah. By the time
you get out of here,

264
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,362
they'll be 40 years ago.

265
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:05,465
Yeah? Well, you
might not even see
the next 40 years.

266
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:08,635
[ Earl Narrating ]
I'd been holdin' in my anger
for a long time,

267
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,171
- but in that moment,
somethin' just snapped.
- [ Metal Creaking ]

268
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:20,447
Don't move--
any of ya!

269
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:27,454
[ Tone Squealing ]
Ah! That's the fax.

270
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:43,770
- [ Frank Yells ]
- Oh, thank God.

271
00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:50,677
- Uh, excuse me. Where's
my husband and ex-husband?
- Uh, they're pretty screwed.

272
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:53,246
But don't worry.
Me and Paco can still escape.
Let's go. You're driving.

273
00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:57,117
Hell, no. I'm wearin'
a nun dress and am thusly
powered by the wrath of God.

274
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:59,319
Damn, I'm even talkin' in Bible.

275
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:03,256
Uh, you know,
you're a strong woman,
and I admire that.

276
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:05,458
And I'm sorry
for what I'm about to do.

277
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:27,480
Holy crap.
You need to do
some groomin'.

278
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:30,217
Looks like a thimble
wearin' a clown wig
down there.

279
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:33,019
You know, Earl,
all you had to do
was play along.

280
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,688
You would have
been out of prison
in less than two years.

281
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:39,426
Now you're gonna
be stuck behind bars
for the rest of your life.

282
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:45,665
- Hey, Earl.
- Hey, Crabman.

283
00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:51,304
Richard Jammer?

284
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:55,508
[ Earl Narrating ] Turns out,
the warden had another life
before he married the governor.

285
00:17:57,444 --> 00:18:02,382
Hi. I'm the cable repairman.
I'm here to turn on your box.

286
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:07,154
Well, that's great,
'cause I'm tired of usin'
my rabbit ears.
[ Chuckles ]

287
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:11,158
[ Earl Narrating ]
And part of that life was
in Darnell's old apartment.

288
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,593
[ Man ]
Cut! Cut!
Who's this guy?

289
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:16,396
Hey, Harry, they're givin' us
500 bucks to film this in here.

290
00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:20,967
Okay.
Oh, but let me put a cover
over Mr. Parrot's cage.

291
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:23,636
I don't wanna have to hear him
talkin' about this all night.

292
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,973
Warden, you okay?
What's goin' on?

293
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:30,377
[ Earl Narrating ] What was
goin' on was the warden was
thinkin' about how his past...

294
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:33,613
could ruin his wife's career...
and his marriage.

295
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,582
Nothing. Just a drill.

296
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:39,386
You know, you fellas
could shave a few seconds
off your response time.

297
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:44,524
Uh, these gentlemen
are just installing,
uh, some skylights,

298
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:48,628
and as for my clothes, well,
you happened to have caught me
in a moment of self-pleasure.

299
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:52,599
I would appreciate
your discretion.
That will be all.

300
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,739
[ Door Closes ]
Earl.

301
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:03,009
Nobody needs to know
about what you did today, son,

302
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:06,213
as long as nobody finds out
what I did in the '80s and...

303
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:09,216
that little comeback
in the '90s.

304
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,884
Deal?
Yeah.
Whoo!

305
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,986
[ Gunshot ]
[ Earl Narrating ]
Didn't add up.

306
00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:17,156
What I deserved and what I got
were two separate things.

307
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:20,893
Still fine. Good hustle, though.

308
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,630
[ Alarm Buzzes ]
To keep me quiet, the warden
honored my certificates.

309
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:26,065
Of course, I was happy
to get out, but...

310
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:28,901
I couldn't shake
the feeling that somethin'
just didn't make sense.

311
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:32,939
All of us had done bad things,
but only two of us
were payin' for it.

312
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,774
Yeah! Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

313
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:37,176
[ Man ]
* Yet I swear
I see my reflection *

314
00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:40,647
- Catalina!
- [ Frank ]
Paco! Paco! No, no, no! Paco!

315
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,682
[ Paco Screaming ]

316
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,119
[ Siren Blares ]

317
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:50,022
Yeah.
* I see my light *

318
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:53,726
* Come shining *

319
00:19:55,462 --> 00:20:00,032
* From the west unto the east *
[ Earl Narrating ]
I didn't understand.

320
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:04,203
Karma should've been
kickin' my ass, and instead
it was rewardin' me.

321
00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:07,374
I couldn't explain it.
All I knew was--
* Any day now *

322
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:12,812
I was free.
* I shall be released **