1 00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:05,439 [ Male Announcer ] Previously on My Name Is Earl. 2 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:10,511 In a world where friends are hard to find and even harder to keep, 3 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:14,115 and even harder than that to keep if you can find them, 4 00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:17,051 there was an innocent mustached prisoner, 5 00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:19,553 his unmustached guard brother, 6 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:23,857 locked in a no-holds-barred battle to decide who's in charge. 7 00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:27,595 Face it, Randy, you only took this job 'cause you couldn't exist out there without me. 8 00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:30,131 Or maybe I knew you couldn't exist in here without me. 9 00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:33,467 Or maybe you're gettin' defensive and sayin' everything I say back at me. 10 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:36,170 Or maybe you're just sayin' what I'm gonna say before I say it. 11 00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,506 What? I don't know. Why don't you tell me? 12 00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:42,510 [ Announcer ] And a pregnant ex-wife who will stop at nothing... 13 00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:46,514 to get her sister's surrogated biracial baby out of her womb. 14 00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:52,986 Now a renegade criminal is on the loose with nothing to lose. 15 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:58,459 And an angry warden must answer to himself and his governor wife. 16 00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:01,829 I know what I'm doing. I'm a grown man! [ Grunts ] 17 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,898 [ Announcer ] Now, in order to protect his job, 18 00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:09,170 the warden must find someone just crazy enough to attempt the impossible. 19 00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:11,038 Because you're both gonna go out there, 20 00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:13,974 you're gonna get Frank and you're gonna bring him back here! 21 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:17,445 [ Announcer ] A secret mission that no one can find out about. 22 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:21,882 No troopers, no press. And the governor can never hear about this. 23 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:25,018 [ Announcer ] A difficult mission made mission impossible. 24 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:29,190 - Before we go, which one of us is in charge? - Would you two figure it out? 25 00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:31,492 [ Announcer ] Two feuding brothers, 26 00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:34,828 one escaped convict, zero chances to fail. 27 00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:46,174 Damn it, Randy, the warden's my best chance of gettin' out of here early. 28 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,376 Why would you take a bunch of convicts for ice cream? 29 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,778 They get ice cream in the prison cafeteria. 30 00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:55,216 I didn't want 'em to taste the ice cream, Earl. I wanted 'em to taste the freedom. 31 00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:57,651 Okay, look, we have 46 hours. 32 00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:00,988 Frank couldn't have gotten that far. Where's the ice cream store? 33 00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:04,758 It's the one next to the train station and that costume store, 34 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,894 near the bong shop where they make the fake I.D.'s. 35 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,364 We just have to look for a guy who could be dressed as anything... 36 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:12,833 and who's anywhere a train might go. 37 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:21,108 Last Tuesday, a bunch of prisoners put a tiny bird in your food, and you ate it. 38 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:24,011 [ Gasps ] Wasn't gonna say anything, but now I want you to suffer. 39 00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,447 [ Earl Narrating ] Me and Randy were just beginning our journey... 40 00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:30,218 and Joy was tryin' to end hers by giving birth to her half-sister's overdue baby. 41 00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:33,654 Whichever one of you pregnant bitches thinks you're goin' next, you are wrong. 42 00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:36,290 I need to get some drugs to kick-start this delivery! 43 00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:38,959 You promised your sister you'd deliver naturally. 44 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:41,329 You want their little one coming into this world dripping with lies? 45 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,096 Darnell, you know my word doesn't mean anything. 46 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:46,267 If it did, you and I wouldn't have been humping when I was still married to Earl. 47 00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:48,469 In that case, the shame was part of the rush. 48 00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:51,539 But without illicit sex, shame is just shame. 49 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:54,475 Whatever. Excuse me! [ Pounds On Desk ] 50 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:57,778 Hey, last name's Turner. I need to see a doctor, pronto. 51 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,383 Dr. Pronto to reception, please. Dr. Pronto. 52 00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:08,422 You gotta be kiddin' me. 53 00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:11,959 You know what? If somebody shows up, I'll take 'em. 54 00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:16,497 [ Earl Narrating ] While Joy was tryin' to push out one child, 55 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:18,366 Darnell had asked Catalina to watch their other two. 56 00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:21,669 You can hang out in here. Don't be scared. No one died in this room. 57 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:24,505 They made it to the stairway. It smells. 58 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:27,308 What are we gonna do in here? 59 00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,443 I don't know. I'm not very good with kids. 60 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:33,847 No offense, but you guys freak me out with your tiny hands and teeth falling out all the time. 61 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,252 Do you know any games? 62 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:42,155 When I was a little girl, we used to play a game called "Hide and Don't Peek." 63 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,358 How do you play? 64 00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:48,028 An armed gunman takes your family hostage while you run and hide, 65 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:51,064 and then you pray the guerrillas leave before they find you. 66 00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:53,166 And how do you win? 67 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,969 By pulling the bodies on top of you and lying very, very still. 68 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:03,777 [ Earl Narrating ] It felt good to be outside the prison walls, but not too good. 69 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:06,780 Really, are these necessary? It's prison policy. 70 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,916 Oh, like taking convicts for ice cream. 71 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:13,186 No, that's not prison policy. Haven't you learned anything from what I did? 72 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:16,023 What's this? It's a search dog. 73 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,058 I had him sniff Frank's bed. 74 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:21,662 Randy, the warden doesn't want word to get out that we're chasing an escaped convict. 75 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:26,033 Don't you think a guy in a prison guard uniform with a search dog is kinda obvious? 76 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:29,437 Don't you think a guy in a prisoner uniform with handcuffs is kinda obvious? 77 00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:32,573 [ Scoffs ] Glass houses, Earl. Glass houses. 78 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:36,310 We're not takin' the stupid dog, Randy. I already found out where Frank's headed. 79 00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,312 [ Earl Narrating ] After I'd left the warden's, 80 00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:40,881 I went to find Frank's old stealin' buddy. 81 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,983 Paco, I didn't know you knew how to write music. 82 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:47,321 Turns out it's easy. It's just dots and lines. 83 00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:51,359 When I get out of here, I'm gonna find someone to play it for me. 84 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:54,595 I can't wait to hear what it sounds like. 85 00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:58,999 So, uh, maybe you haven't heard, but Frank escaped. 86 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:02,770 Damn it! Frank escaped? He gonna get all the money that we hid in the trailer. 87 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,272 Wait, you guys hid money in our trailer? 88 00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:07,675 Uh, no. 89 00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:11,779 - Thanks, Paco. - Damn. 90 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:15,148 I hope this song is a sad song. 91 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:18,185 [ Barking ] Give me the keys and uncuff me so I can drive. 92 00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,153 I'm drivin'. I'm in charge. 93 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:23,056 Randy, you're not in charge. Plus, your foot's too big. 94 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:26,694 When you drive, your shoe hits the gas and the brake at the same time. It's terrifying. 95 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,196 I'm driving. I'm the cop. You're not a cop. 96 00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:33,333 If I'm not a cop, how come when I pull up at the Home "Dee-pot" all those guys run away? 97 00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:36,069 You mean, like your dog just did? [ Barking In Distance ] 98 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:43,076 Damn it. All right, then, I'll just have to pick up his scent on my own. 99 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:46,514 [ Sniffs ] Ew! Frank stinks. 100 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,682 How do dogs do this? 101 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,086 [ Sniffing ] 102 00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:59,993 This is kinda small. Oh, whatever. 103 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:03,731 All I need is gravity, a bucket and a Wet-Nap. Let's do this thing. 104 00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,569 [ Both Gasp ] 105 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,305 Oh, my God. 106 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:16,610 Look at this place. This must be where pregnant brides come on their honeymoon. 107 00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:19,880 And here's some extra services available for a nominal fee. 108 00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:24,652 "Volcanic mud mask, aromatherapy, eucalyptus wrap." 109 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:28,021 That sounds delicious. 110 00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:30,491 Is the feminine face peel just for the ladies... 111 00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,860 or can the gentlemen purchase that as well? 112 00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:35,996 - Who pays for all these nominals? - Since you're just a surrogate, 113 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,166 it would be Mr. and Mrs. Ray-Ray and Liberty Washington. 114 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:42,002 Good. Then bring us some of those eucalyptus things. 115 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:44,605 Extra mayo. Miracle Whip, if you got it. And could you hurry up? 116 00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:47,675 Because I want to eat before the nurse gets here with that inducing shot. 117 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,377 Mm-hmm. 118 00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:52,713 Can you believe this fancy menu? 119 00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:55,749 I swear, it's like I've died and gone to Chili's. 120 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,851 [ Earl Narrating ] Me and Randy were staking out Joy's trailer, 121 00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,220 waitin' for Frank to show up and get his money. 122 00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:03,457 And as luck would have it, I was spending my one day out of prison... 123 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:06,059 locked up in a small space with another man. 124 00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:10,464 Well, where are you? I'm at the American terminal, and I don't see you. 125 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:14,101 Nah, I haven't had dinner yet. I thought we'd pick somethin' up on our way into town. 126 00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,269 Randy, what are you doin'? 127 00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,438 Hang on. I got someone talkin' to me. 128 00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:22,175 I just wanted to see what it'd be like to have a cell phone. 129 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:27,881 Sorry. That was my brother. Yeah, he really is. 130 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,551 Uh, yeah, you're gonna have to find your own way home, 131 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:33,887 'cause my brother took a bunch of prisoners for ice cream, and then he lost one. 132 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,824 So we can't go anywhere 'cause he's a sucky guard. 133 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,159 You look so stupid right now. 134 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,798 [ Earl Narrating ] I was tryin' to get Randy to stop acting like a kid, 135 00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:48,401 and Dodge and Earl Junior were tryin' to get Catalina to start acting like one. 136 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:52,139 So you've never played Simon says? Nope. 137 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:54,141 Freeze tag? No. 138 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:58,979 Hot potato? Hot potatoes were rare, reserved for birthdays only. 139 00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:02,449 How about patty-cake? 140 00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:05,686 Is that where you go like this... 141 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:09,723 and then get hit in the face for playing games instead of working the coca fields? 142 00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:13,594 Just clap hands with me. Nothing bad is going to happen. 143 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,938 Randy, just give me the keys so I can uncuff myself. 144 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:29,076 I'm not supposed to uncuff a prisoner just because he asks. 145 00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,111 Says so in the manual. 146 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:34,447 Oh, really? Well, what does it say to do if a prisoner does this? 147 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:38,719 [ Horn Honking ] I don't know. I haven't read the whole thing yet. Stop it, Earl. 148 00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:40,721 Uncuff me and I will. 149 00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:44,024 You know I can't stand the sound of honking since I got attacked by those gooses. 150 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:46,093 Well, they're probably on their way here right now. 151 00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:49,797 Okay, I'll give you the key! Call 'em off! Call 'em off! [ Honking Stops ] 152 00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:59,339 I think they messed up on our "cruditray." It's just vegetables. 153 00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:01,408 That's what it's supposed to be. 154 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:03,977 Then they nailed it. This place is great. 155 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:07,280 If the pro-lifers knew what they were doin', they would just get everybody great insurance. 156 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:10,684 Oh, good, we didn't miss it! 157 00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,620 How did you know we were here? 158 00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:15,422 A volunteer from the hospital called to say our surrogate was admitted. 159 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,891 And they offered me a discount on a newborn photo shoot. 160 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:22,663 They can put in a backdrop later that makes the baby look like he's on the space shuttle. 161 00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:25,498 Space baby. That's tight. 162 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:29,603 Well, let's not dillydally. We gotta get you down to the water birthing tub. 163 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,805 Water what? 164 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,742 Why do you want me to give birth underwater? 165 00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:37,745 You didn't secretly impregnate me with some kind of fish baby, did you? 166 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,780 Oh, Joy, you're gonna love this. 167 00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:41,849 It's based on ancient wisdom and traditions. 168 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,752 It goes all the way back to the '70s. 169 00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:48,689 - Where's the mama in a hurry? - What the hell is that? 170 00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:52,092 It's just my insulin. You know I'm epileptic. 171 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:56,263 You're inducing. Are you kiddin' me? You're not in labor. 172 00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:59,667 I'm gonna get inside your hippy tub and against everything I believe in, 173 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:03,503 let this baby swim out of me and hopefully pop to the surface like a cork. 174 00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,739 Or a witch baby. And in return, 175 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:09,743 you're gonna let this man nurse give me a shot so we can get this over with. 176 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:13,446 - Don't give her the shot. - My body, my choice! 177 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,382 I'm gettin' this thing out of me. 178 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,317 [ Muttering ] 179 00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:23,657 Now gimme that shot or gimme a fishin' pole with a jar of baby food on the end of it. 180 00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:27,494 [ Earl Narrating ] There was somethin' that wannabe doctor was not aware of. 181 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:31,732 Liberty was better known as Lady Liberty of BLOW-- Black Ladies of Wrestling. 182 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,736 [ Screaming ] 183 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,713 I think you dropped something. 184 00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:47,781 Damn it, Darnell, you bogarted my inducing drugs. 185 00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,750 You're not taking any drugs. 186 00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:53,754 Fine. Darnell, grab all the shampoos and shower caps out of the bathroom. 187 00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:56,089 We're gettin' outta here. 188 00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:04,865 Do you have any literature on the effects of oxytocin on the male gender? 189 00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:09,569 No. But if you survive and want to write something up, I bet you could get it published. 190 00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:12,405 [ Sighs ] Oh. 191 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,674 [ Earl Narrating ] Joy was havin' trouble bein' a surrogate parent-- 192 00:11:14,742 --> 00:11:16,744 ** [ Radio: Rock ] but Catalina was findin' it quite enjoyable. 193 00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,813 In fact, the kids had finally taught her how to be a kid herself. 194 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,816 - ** [ Stops ] - I did it! I won a game! Whoo! 195 00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:26,286 [ Earl Narrating ] Somebody else will have to teach her how to be a good sport. 196 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,955 Suck on that, white one! 197 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,724 [ Earl Narrating ] And the kids' names. Whoo! 198 00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:34,427 ** [ Over P.A.: "Turkey in the Straw" ] 199 00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:38,298 All right. 200 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:41,068 I'm gonna get ice cream. No, you're not. 201 00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,236 Yeah, I am. 202 00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:48,708 Earl, stop or I'll shoot. 203 00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:53,981 What are you gonna do, shoot me with that stupid beanbag gun? Ooh, I'm really scared-- Aah! 204 00:11:56,750 --> 00:12:01,054 [ Laughs ] I got the beanbag. What are you gonna do now, genius? 205 00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,811 [ Radio Chatter, Indistinct ] 206 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:26,279 Bye, Bob. 207 00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:29,282 I don't know why the ice cream guy has all those pictures up. 208 00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:31,985 All he's got are Creamsicles and pot. 209 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:41,128 Oh, God. What is it now? 210 00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:44,064 Randy, I can't keep up with your emotions. 211 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,266 You were right all along. 212 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:51,104 [ Sobs ] I'm not a good prison guard. I'm not good at so many things. 213 00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:54,107 I'm not a good speller. I'm not a good athlete. 214 00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:56,409 I'm not the brother with the good butt. 215 00:12:56,476 --> 00:13:00,113 I should never be in charge. [ Sniffles ] 216 00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:05,152 Well, not in charge of people. 217 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:09,122 But of... toys. Maybe animals. 218 00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,525 What about the dog that got away? 219 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,864 Okay. Well, toys. 220 00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:21,034 [ Earl Narrating ] I tried to think of other stuff, but I ran out of time. 221 00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:27,007 - Randy, there's Frank. - Great. The reason I feel so stupid in the first place. 222 00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:30,410 And let me guess. He's not gonna trip over that rock that always gets me. 223 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:34,081 Nope. Walked right over it like The Fonz. 224 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,284 Randy, let's go. 225 00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:45,993 - Hey, Frank. - Oh, hey, Earl. 226 00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:48,261 You use your dumb brother to escape too? 227 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,597 [ Clanking ] 228 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:54,701 Oh, hey, Randy. Where you been? I've been lookin' for you. 229 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:58,338 I'm not ready to talk to you yet. Frank, I gotta take you back. 230 00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:02,375 I know you're lookin' for Paco's money in that heater, but it's over. 231 00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,912 Huh? No, I was actually lookin' for my gun. 232 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,552 [ Earl Narrating ] The only thing more frustratin' to Joy than not bein' in labor... 233 00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:15,122 was the fact that her husband suddenly was. 234 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:18,158 I gotta stop walking. My contractions are two minutes apart. 235 00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:20,127 Hurts bein' a woman, don't it, Darnell? 236 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:23,596 I'm not sure what's about to happen, but I know it's gonna need to happen over water. 237 00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:26,733 Ooh, that was a bad one. 238 00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,801 Hey, Earl. Hey, Crabman. 239 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,838 What the hell is goin' on? Did you break out? 240 00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:34,474 Not exactly. But he did. 241 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,244 - Sorry. - All right, everyone, just chill out. 242 00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:40,513 Damn, my horoscope was right. You better put that gun down. 243 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,549 If you kill a hot blonde nine months pregnant... 244 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,018 with her biracial half-sister's biracial baby, 245 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:48,288 Nancy Grace will convict you in the media before the first commercial break. 246 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,723 You have to kill somebody, kill Earl or Randy first. 247 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,592 What? I deserve it. 248 00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:55,295 I just want to find my money. You, come on. 249 00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:57,597 - Help me pull the stove out. - I can't. 250 00:14:57,664 --> 00:15:00,500 If I strain too hard, I'm afraid I'll give birth to pooptuplets. 251 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,903 Here comes another wave. Ohh! You can kill him third. 252 00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:06,573 I don't want to kill anyone. I just want my money, all right? 253 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,608 Now you, preggers. Come on. Help me move this thing. 254 00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:11,611 [ Groans ] Joy, the cops are on their way. 255 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:14,081 They're gonna help me get my property back. 256 00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,049 - Whoa! Y-Y-You called the cops? - You called the cops? 257 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:19,586 Damn. My horoscope was right. Hey, Earl. 258 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,688 Hey, Ray-Ray. Hey, Ray-Ray. Check it out. 259 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,890 We're chained to the refrigerator. Can you believe it? 260 00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:28,161 Okay, everyone shut up while me and the fat chick move this thing before the cops get here. 261 00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:29,729 Oh, snap! [ Water Dripping ] 262 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,999 I'm sorry. Pregnant chick. But seriously-- pull, bitch, pull! 263 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:34,267 No, my water just broke! 264 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:37,737 Oh, that's nasty! Oh, that soaked right through to the sock. 265 00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:40,573 - Oh, we gotta get her to a hospital! - Uh, nobody's goin' anywhere. 266 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:44,144 Ray-Ray, I'm freakin' out! Get me a sedative from my purse! 267 00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:46,513 - Can I get a handful of those too? - I'd like one. 268 00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:49,282 - Yeah, that sounds good. - Can I have one too? Actually, you know what? 269 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:52,385 Hold onto it for me till later. I kinda need to stay sharp now. 270 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,821 Oh, hell, no. If I can't have drugs, neither can y'all. 271 00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:57,424 - [ Siren Wailing ] - Oh, crap. 272 00:15:57,490 --> 00:16:00,327 The cops are here. I-I have placentas on my feet. 273 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:03,163 You know what? This ain't my day. I-I'm out. 274 00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,999 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Frank, Frank. Don't turn yourself in. 275 00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:08,801 What are you doin', Earl? The warden said no cops. 276 00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:12,505 You're doin' a good job, buddy. You've got a gun. You've got us all held hostage. 277 00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:15,042 You can't quit now. You haven't even found your money yet. 278 00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:19,012 Oh, what are you doing? If he wants to turn himself in, just-- Ow! 279 00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,314 Oh, God! Shut up, Darnell! 280 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:24,317 You stole my drugs! You are not stealin' my limelight! 281 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:27,454 I believe in you, Frank. Just believe in yourself. 282 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:32,025 Okay. Yeah, thanks for the pep talk, Earl. You know, people-- 283 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:36,263 people don't realize that hostage situations are stressful on both sides of the gun. 284 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:41,601 People don't realize that. You know what? You're right. I-I-I am good at this. 285 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:45,205 And you know what else? I do have something goin' on for me. 286 00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:48,808 Yeah. You two, tank tops. Go ditch the cops. 287 00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:51,178 Go on. 288 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:54,181 Yeah, you see? Now we doin' it. 289 00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:56,149 [ Radio Chatter, Indistinct ] 290 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,485 I'm here about a stolen baby. 291 00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:01,554 - She's about to give it back. - Yeah, so it's kind of a mute point now. 292 00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:05,392 Moot point. You said "mute" with a "U." The word's moot. M-O-O-T. 293 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:08,561 No, I think it's mute point. Like there's no point talkin' about it anymore, so it's mute. 294 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:12,699 - Trust me, it's moot. - No, he's right. Mute makes sense. 295 00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:15,102 Moot? What's moot? 296 00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:19,572 [ Groans ] I didn't know it was possible, but I think my water just broke. 297 00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:22,442 - Short breaths, Darnell. - You need me to call an ambulance? 298 00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:24,877 Nah. He's just ridin' out some contractions. [ Joy Screams ] 299 00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:29,516 - What was that? - Oh, that's just his wife givin' birth to my baby. 300 00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:35,021 Look, brother, I don't know what's goin' on inside that trailer, 301 00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:39,726 but I suggest you do like I'm about to do and distance yourself from these people. 302 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,394 [ Mouths Word ] 303 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,667 Come on, Darnell. 304 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:53,340 Bingo! I got my money. Look out, whorehouses of Mexico. 305 00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:58,077 Cop's gone. Do I have permission to use the restroom now? 306 00:17:58,145 --> 00:18:00,613 I don't care what you do, homeslice, 'cause I'm about to go to the-- 307 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,849 I see fingers! 308 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,652 Gimme a towel, the coupon scissors and a chip clip. 309 00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:07,720 You better be fixin' to open a bag of Fritos, MacGyver. 310 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:11,458 I've done this before. I once performed a caesarean on my cat, Miss Kitty. 311 00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:14,127 Did the kittens live? Screw the kittens. Did mama cat make it? 312 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:17,096 I was nine. I did the best I could. What-- 313 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:24,537 [ Man ] * Keep pushin' Keep pushin' * 314 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:28,308 * Keep pushin' * * Keep pushin' on * 315 00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:34,113 * Keep pushin', Keep pushin' * * Keep pushin' on, yeah ** 316 00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:38,050 [ Joy Screaming ] 317 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,052 [ Baby Crying ] 318 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,489 She's so beautiful. 319 00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:51,464 [ Earl Narrating ] The birth of a child is a powerful thing. 320 00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:55,335 Even Frank was moved. 321 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:57,337 Wow. 322 00:18:57,404 --> 00:19:01,574 I-It's been months since I've seen a vagina that wasn't crudely drawn on my hand. 323 00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:08,948 [ Clicking ] 324 00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:12,018 Well, I should get going. 325 00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:14,521 Whoa, whoa! Frank. Frank! 326 00:19:22,329 --> 00:19:24,797 - Frank! - [ Barking ] 327 00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:35,708 [ Growling ] You were right, Randy. We did need the search dog. 328 00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:38,144 So I guess I am good at some stuff, huh, Earl? 329 00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:42,615 Like knowin' when to use a dog on a manhunt and breakin' freezer doors off refrigerators. 330 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,884 Yep. That was a real feat of strength. 331 00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:52,659 Oh, and you might not have seen this, but when Frank was wavin' his gun all around, 332 00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:55,662 I was standin' in front of you so he couldn't hit you with a bullet. 333 00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,997 Yeah, you're a real good bullet shield, Randy. 334 00:19:58,064 --> 00:20:03,603 So I guess it's okay that I'm not good at bein' in charge, because you are. 335 00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:07,907 Well, I'm only good 'cause I got you on my team. Thanks. 336 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:11,644 Earl. I lied about bein' your bullet shield. 337 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,813 I was only standin' in front of you on accident. 338 00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,983 I know, Randy. It's cool. 339 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,486 [ Engine Starts ] 340 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,356 [ Earl Narrating ] But just because someone follows... 341 00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,558 doesn't mean they don't have plenty to contribute. 342 00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,694 Whether they're little brothers... 343 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,196 or big sisters. 344 00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:32,332 What's this? 345 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:35,335 It's Frank's money. There's a couple thousand in there for Ray-Ray-Rayanne. 346 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:41,007 She's gonna need it for college. Or a boob job, in case she's not smart. 347 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,276 All right, kids, time to eat. 348 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,678 [ Earl Narrating ] And sometimes people don't want to stop contributing. 349 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:48,014 Wait. Five more minutes. We're in the middle of a game. 350 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,350 Okay, black one, your turn.