1 00:00:01,169 --> 00:00:03,671 You know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things... 2 00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:06,674 and then wonders why his life sucks? 3 00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:11,112 Well, that was me. Every time somethin' good happened to me, 4 00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:13,247 somethin' bad was always waitin' around the corner. 5 00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:17,085 Karma. 6 00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:19,220 That's when I realized I had to change. 7 00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:23,391 So I made a list of everything bad I've ever done, 8 00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:26,360 and, one by one, I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes. 9 00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:28,329 I'm just tryin' to be a better person. 10 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:31,199 My name is Earl. 11 00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:35,703 [ Earl Narrating ] It was nice to see Joy so happy to be with her kids. 12 00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:37,705 That's because they were leavin' her alone for a week, 13 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:40,341 goin' with Crab Man to stay at his mom's. 14 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,843 Thank you, babies. You boys leavin' for a whole week... 15 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,546 is the best Mother's Day gift a mom could ask for. 16 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:48,582 Here's some extra spending money. Can you empty it out now? 17 00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:51,452 I need the jar for Mr. Turtle so I don't have to buy him a seat on the bus. 18 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:54,522 Oh, yeah. Here you go. 19 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,492 Bye, boys. 20 00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:00,661 We promise not to call, Mommy. 21 00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,464 Oh, wouldn't answer if you did. 22 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,766 [ Earl Narrating ] Turns out Joy's idea of a great Mother's Day... 23 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,768 was havin' a week of not bein' a mother. 24 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:11,572 And who could blame her? Being a mom is hard. 25 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:14,308 Who the hell thinks it's all right to put Mr. Turtle in the toilet? 26 00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:17,278 Who the hell thinks it's okay to paint a peanut-butter- and-jelly mural on my wall? 27 00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:19,280 Who the hell-- 28 00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:21,315 [ Gagging ] 29 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:27,721 Damn it. Who keeps putting Mr. Turtle in the toilet? 30 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:32,793 -I didn't know it was Mother's Day tomorrow. Did you? -No, I forgot. 31 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:35,129 You gonna do somethin' for your mom, Catalina? 32 00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:37,831 - My mother is dead. - I'm sorry. 33 00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:40,201 Oh, it's okay. It was either her or me. 34 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:44,605 [ Earl Narrating ] I felt bad we forgot about Mother's Day, 35 00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:48,876 'cause this wasn't the first time we had to scramble at the last minute to get a gift. 36 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:52,146 Back when we were kids, all we had to do was wait for someone... 37 00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:54,915 smaller, weaker and more prepared for Mother's Day. 38 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,518 Let go of me! We knew we'd find somethin' good... 39 00:01:57,551 --> 00:02:00,221 'cause Kenny's backpack was the same place we did our Christmas shoppin'. 40 00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:05,326 [ Gasps ] Oh. Did you wrap this? 41 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:09,763 It's so pretty. I hate to tear it up. Let's save that for another day. 42 00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,601 [ Gasps ] Oh, my. 43 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,836 Oh, Carl, look what the boys made. 44 00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,239 It's a little coupon book. 45 00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:22,576 "Clean the house for Mom. Do the dishes for Mom. 46 00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:24,712 Breakfast in bed for Mom." 47 00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:27,581 Oh. You know, I'm gonna use this one right now. [ Giggles ] 48 00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:36,957 I like marmalade on my toast. 49 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,894 [ Earl Narrating ] Stolen coupons sure made Mom happy, 50 00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:44,565 until she realized we'd never let her cash any of 'em in. 51 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:47,335 - Those little jerks aren't comin' back, are they? - Nope. 52 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,677 What are you doin'? I'm puttin' Mom on the list. 53 00:02:56,710 --> 00:03:00,681 [ Sighs ] Number 266-- never gave Mom a good Mother's Day. 54 00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:04,918 Can I write this one, Earl? I wanna practice cursive again. 55 00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:08,422 If you do something for your mom, won't you have to see your dad? 56 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,524 - I thought he hates you. - He does. 57 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,993 But I won't have to deal with Dad. Tomorrow's all about Mom. 58 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:16,264 [ Earl Narrating ] Meanwhile, Joy was preparing to enjoy her Mother's Day. 59 00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,832 Here. Just keep bringing me drinks. 60 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:22,670 But make sure I have enough money to grab myself a Kit Kat and chalupa on the way home. 61 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,273 [ Earl Narrating ] The next morning, we snuck into my parents' house... 62 00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:28,709 to surprise Mom with a Mother's Day breakfast in bed. 63 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:35,449 [ Rattling ] Shh! 64 00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:38,719 What we didn't know at the time was my parents heard someone breakin' in, 65 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:41,955 and Dad was tryin' to remember the combination to his gun safe. 66 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:45,426 Try your birthday again. I already tried my birthday, Kay. 67 00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,495 When's our anniversary? 68 00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:49,597 You don't know our anniversary? [ Sighs ] 69 00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:52,566 This is exactly what I meant the other day when I was talkin' about... 70 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,935 how you live in this Carl bubble, and the rest of the world-- 71 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:58,472 Now, Kay? Really? We're gonna do this now? 72 00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:00,574 May 3. Oh. 73 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:04,712 [ Clattering ] No. When's your birthday? 74 00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:09,249 [ Whispering ] I can't wait to see her face. 75 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:14,054 - [ Screams ] - Happy Mother-- [ Groans ] 76 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,856 - [ Dishes Shatter ] - Oh. 77 00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:20,561 Hey, Randy. Hey, Dad. 78 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:24,031 [ Earl Narrating ] After we explained we were there to give Mom a good Mother's Day, 79 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:27,768 she was thrilled. Look what I found. 80 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,837 I can't believe you still have this. 81 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:31,905 These coupons are, like, 20 years old. 82 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:36,644 "Participate in Hands Across America with Mom." 83 00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:40,414 [ Earl Narrating ] And so we spent the day doin' what we should've done a long time ago-- 84 00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:43,016 let Mom cash in all her coupons. 85 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:46,387 Like "Plant flowers with Mom." 86 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,889 Hey, look, Earl. Somebody buried a pair of shoes. 87 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:52,793 Randy, hold on-- Yuck! It's a cat skeleton. 88 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:56,430 I should name him Crackers after our cat that used to sleep in the street. 89 00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:58,532 [ Earl Narrating ] "Take a portrait with Mom." 90 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:03,937 [ Shutter Clicking ] 91 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:07,408 We even did the coupons that seemed a little strange now that we were adults. 92 00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,643 Like "Take a bath without bein' asked." 93 00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:12,546 This is fun, Earl. I miss bein' a kid. 94 00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:15,683 You sure there's not room in there for both of us if you just kind of move over-- 95 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,585 I'm sure, Randy. 96 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:22,423 [ Projector Whirring ] 97 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,458 [ Earl Narrating ] Our day was goin' great. 98 00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:27,961 And so far, I had managed to avoid dealin' with Dad-- 99 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:31,499 until Mom cashed in her "Watch home movies" coupon. 100 00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,601 Hey, Earl, it's that ramp you built for our bikes. 101 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:37,438 Out of the leaf from my mahogany dining table. 102 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:39,673 Aw. 103 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,842 Oh, look. Thanksgiving. 104 00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:44,545 - Oh, I should've gotten a smaller bird. - [ Sighs ] 105 00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,880 Look. There's that old car that you bought. 106 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:49,550 [ Carl Chuckles ] Look at me smiling. 107 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:52,119 I had absolutely no idea that my 11-year-old son... 108 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:55,789 would drive that car into the lake only two months later. 109 00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:59,627 Oh, watching these movies, it just amazes me... 110 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:02,696 how you always had a way of ruining everything. 111 00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:05,098 Dad, I didn't ruin everything, okay? 112 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,837 And that was the end of our home movies. 113 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:14,508 Come on, Dad. We're just tryin' to have a good time here. 114 00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:17,745 I'm sorry, Mom. I wanted this to be a perfect day. 115 00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:20,881 I just-- I just wish you two could get along. 116 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:24,518 You know what you should do? You should do somethin' on that list for your father. 117 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:27,621 - Yeah, I-- Mom, I've tried to. He-- - Well, try again. 118 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:33,661 You know what? I've got one coupon left, Earl, and it says "Mother's choice." 119 00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:37,798 Which means that I get to pick whatever I want, and I want you to do something for your dad. 120 00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:40,468 Mom, Dad hates me. 121 00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:43,604 Oh, hate's a strong word. Kay, I remembered the combination-- 122 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,574 3-14-89. It's the day Earl moved out. 123 00:06:57,585 --> 00:07:02,756 How about number 42-- cut holes in all of Dad's shirts to show his nipples. 124 00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:07,895 No, his nipples have drooped down like six inches, so that one kind of crosses itself off. 125 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:11,999 - Now I wait. - How long do you have to wait? 126 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,635 [ Traps Snapping ] Not long. 127 00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:19,773 All right, we gotta do one of these. I promised Mom. 128 00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:22,910 How about number 108-- lost Dad's Mustang. 129 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,982 He was pretty mad when he saw it in that home movie today. 130 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,685 Maybe I should do that one. 131 00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:34,855 [ Earl Narrating ] But that car didn't have to be dragged out of a lake... 132 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:37,057 like I told my dad all those years ago. 133 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:40,193 - I lost it another way. - [ Pounding ] 134 00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:43,664 [ Revs ] 135 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:50,203 Is that thing fast? You bet your ass it's fast. 136 00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:53,507 Fastest car in Camden County. 137 00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:56,644 - Bet my dad's Mustang's faster. - [ Scoffs ] 138 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,746 We've never seen him drive it, but he says it's really fast. 139 00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:00,914 Yeah, little man? 140 00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,751 You wanna put your money where your little mouth is, huh? 141 00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:08,722 Race for pink slips? Huh? Huh? You scared? 142 00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:11,825 You better be, 'cause I'm Billy Reed. 143 00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:14,027 You know how many girls I've had sex with? 144 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:18,599 Four. 145 00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:22,235 [ Earl Narrating ] That day I learned I had trouble backin' down from a challenge. 146 00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:25,072 Come on, Randy. Let's go get Dad's car. 147 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,708 See you at the drag strip, peewee. 148 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:31,779 Who was the fourth girl? 149 00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:36,183 I counted Tricia twice 'cause I got her with and without her back brace on. 150 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,786 [ Cheering ] 151 00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:42,122 [ Earl Narrating ] Less than an hour later, I was about to have my first drag race ever. 152 00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:46,226 Whoo! Jackie! Kick his ass, brother! 153 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,662 You shouldn't smoke. 154 00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:52,733 We watched a cartoon at school where an owl told us that it was really bad for you. 155 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:55,102 It killed the owl's father at the end of the cartoon. 156 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,537 Do I look like a damn owl to you? 157 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,008 Okay, Patty, we're ready! 158 00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,012 - [ Engine Revving ] - You ready, peewee? 159 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,814 Let's do this. 160 00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:11,551 [ Tires Squealing ] [ Cheering ] 161 00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:18,726 [ Earl Narrating ] As fast as that Mustang might've been, 162 00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:21,161 it didn't change the fact that at 11 years old... 163 00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:24,231 I didn't know how to get out of first gear. 164 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:28,602 [ Grunts ] [ Gears Grinding ] 165 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:31,905 At the time, the thought of my dad confronting Billy was humiliating, 166 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:34,775 so I lied and told him I drove his car into a lake. 167 00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,644 But now it was time to get it back. 168 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:46,353 Earl Hickey. All growed up. 169 00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:49,857 Yeah, listen, I need to get that Mustang back. How much do you want for it? 170 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:53,260 [ Scoffs ] I don't sell cars-- I race 'em. 171 00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,729 We race 'em. Whoo! 172 00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:58,866 Jack-- [ Coughing ] Jackie! 173 00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:00,801 [ Coughing Continues ] 174 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:06,039 That's just how that owl's dad coughed in the cartoon... 175 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:08,341 before he fell out of the air and broke his neck. 176 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,143 He's lucky he's not flying. 177 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:15,048 That's a sweet El Camino you rode up in. 178 00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,718 You want that Mustang back, I'll give you a rematch. 179 00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:21,088 The 'Stang verses your Camino. Mano "Y" mano. 180 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,223 I don't want to race, Billy. 181 00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,959 Besides, the Mustang looks like it hasn't been started in years. 182 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:29,797 Hey, Earl, there's a long, skinny dog lyin' down in the backseat. 183 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:32,265 Oh, wait. He's standing up. He just doesn't have any legs. 184 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,736 Maybe it's a snake. Do snakes have hair? 185 00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:38,706 They do when they're ferrets. You scared? 186 00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:44,044 Is that it, growed up Earl? You scared I'll take another car off you? Huh? 187 00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:48,115 You scared? You should be, 'cause I'm Billy Reed. 188 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:52,119 [ Chuckles ] You know how many girls I've had sex with? 189 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,321 Five. 190 00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:58,826 Randy, get in the car. We'll see you at the drag strip. 191 00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:03,831 Ed, put the tires on the Mustang, get that hairy snake out of the backseat. 192 00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:08,001 - We got ourselves a race. - [ Cheering ] 193 00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:11,905 [ Earl Narrating ] Less than an hour later, I was about to have my second drag race ever. 194 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:14,307 And with her kids still out of town, Joy hadn't stopped partying. 195 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:17,444 [ Slurred ] Hey, dummy. 196 00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:22,115 I heard y'all was out here racin', so I fit it in to my Mother's Day week schedule. 197 00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:25,418 This is so the police don't know I'm out here drinkin'. 198 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:27,855 [ Kisses ] 199 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,126 - [ Engine Starts ] - Let's do this! 200 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:36,296 [ Earl Narrating ] And although the cars had a lot of miles on 'em by now, 201 00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:39,099 Patty had even more. All right, let's get this show on the road! 202 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:42,269 I got an appointment with a guy who likes to suck on my feet. 203 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:45,138 First car to pass the blue mailbox wins! Let's do this! 204 00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,407 Whoo, Jackie! 205 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,843 Whoo! Who's Jackie? 206 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:51,979 [ Shouts ] 207 00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:57,350 [ Cheering ] 208 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,927 [ Earl Narrating ] We were neck and neck until we got both cars up to about 30. 209 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,196 [ Engines Sputter ] Then they quit on us. 210 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,932 Oh! 211 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,536 [ Backfires ] 212 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:20,007 Ed! Get up here and push! 213 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:23,844 - Go, Ed! go! - Randy, come on and push! Come on! 214 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,781 Go, Ed! [ Earl ] So the race turned out to be... 215 00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:30,550 less about horsepower and more about brother power. 216 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,553 - Come on, Randy! You can do it! - Come on, Ed! 217 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:37,257 - Push! - [ Coughing ] 218 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,226 You got it, Randy! We're almost there! 219 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,494 [ Coughing Continues ] 220 00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:46,867 - I told you to give up those cigarettes, Ed! - [ Coughing Continues ] 221 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:51,872 - [ Cheering ] - [ Earl Narrating ] And I had more brother power. 222 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:54,341 We did it, Randy! [ Panting ] 223 00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:57,077 Yeah, Randy! 224 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,847 I won, Billy! The car is mine. 225 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:04,151 Fine. You get the car. But it was a close race. I still got my dignity. 226 00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:08,956 Hey, Billy! Is it okay if I cancel your appointment to suck my feet? 227 00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,124 I'm just not feelin' it anymore. 228 00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:18,531 [ Earl Narrating ] After over 20 years of lyin' to my dad about what happened to his car, 229 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:21,068 it was time to tell him the truth. 230 00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:28,141 It's not Mother's Day anymore, Earl. Come back next year. 231 00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:31,444 No, w-w-wait, Dad. I'm here for you. Look. 232 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:34,214 I didn't lose your car in a lake. 233 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,583 I lost it in a race, but I just won it back. 234 00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,585 Now I can cross you off my list like Mom wanted. 235 00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:41,354 - My car? - Yeah, your Mustang. 236 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:45,158 Idiot, that car wasn't for me. That was going to be your car when you turned 16. 237 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:48,028 - What? - Yep. 238 00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:51,364 So I guess I'm not the one who should be on that list. 239 00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:55,302 "Lost my own car because I'm an idiot." 240 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:06,146 I can't believe I lost my own car. 241 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:10,550 Hey, look at this one, number 67-- ran over Crackers. 242 00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:13,420 Hey, what kind of crackers did you run over, saltines? 243 00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:15,388 I bet it made a crunchy sound. 244 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:23,296 [ Earl Narrating ] Findin' out the car I lost was supposed to be for me... 245 00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:25,632 put me in a situation I'd never faced before. 246 00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,435 I'm on my own list. What the hell am I supposed to do about this? 247 00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:31,038 Can't you just forgive yourself and cross it off? 248 00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:35,642 I don't want to forgive myself. My life would've been a lot better if I had that Mustang. 249 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:38,111 I wouldn't have lost my virginity in a public bus. 250 00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:40,613 And I wouldn't have had to watch. 251 00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:43,550 [ Slurred ] Hey, dummies. 252 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:48,621 What, are you guys-- Probably sittin' here sayin' stupid stuff? Doin' stupid stuff? 253 00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:51,491 [ Laughing ] 254 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,231 I'm gonna fix up that car. 255 00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,233 Really? Yeah. Why shouldn't I? 256 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,602 Everybody else on the list makes me do somethin' for them. 257 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:06,306 Why should I be any different? I'm gonna pay myself back. 258 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,275 Come on, Randy. 259 00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:16,016 Hey. Hold on. I'm gonna come too. Hold on. 260 00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:22,522 Maybe you should drive her home. I don't know. She might be okay. 261 00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:28,095 Damn it. Who threw their drink at me? 262 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,663 I'll drive her home. 263 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:33,500 [ Earl Narrating ] So while Randy got Joy home safe, 264 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:37,270 I went to my parents' house to fix up the car that should've been mine 20 years ago. 265 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:41,074 What the hell are you doing? 266 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,443 Mom said I could fix the car here. 267 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,413 I can't work on a car at the motel. 268 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,016 Every time you slide under, somebody tries to steal your shoes. 269 00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:52,319 - I told you I don't want the car. - I'm not doin' this for you. 270 00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:55,588 I-I-I lost myself a car. I owe myself a car. 271 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,458 - I'm doin' this for me. - Yeah, well, fixin' a car is a lot of work. 272 00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:01,594 So let me know when you give up, and I'll call the junkyard. 273 00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,265 [ Earl Narrating ] It was gonna be hard work. 274 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,968 But this was the list, so quittin' wasn't an option. 275 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:13,406 See? I told you. I drove just fine. 276 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,643 Oh, I drove. You were steering with a paper plate in the passenger seat, 277 00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:19,179 but you did get a couple of the turns right. 278 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,684 Randy, do you wanna spend the night tonight? 279 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:27,220 [ Earl Narrating ] It was an odd request. 280 00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:30,257 Randy had never thought of Joy in that way. 281 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:32,559 I'm lonely, Randy. 282 00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,727 I don't think I can go a whole week. 283 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,732 [ Earl Narrating ] So that night, Randy gave her what she needed. 284 00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:42,035 [ Banging ] 285 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:44,304 And much to Randy's surprise, 286 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:48,375 the next morning when Joy was sober, she was hungry for more. 287 00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:50,343 So much more that they didn't even notice... 288 00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:52,245 when Darnell and the kids came home early. 289 00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:54,181 Joy? 290 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,584 Hey, boys! Welcome home! 291 00:16:57,617 --> 00:17:00,753 Cool. A sheet fort. 292 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:03,056 - [ Together ] Cool! - Come get in! 293 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:07,227 [ Earl Narrating ] You see, what Joy couldn't go a week without was her kids. 294 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:11,464 Randy playing with that toy plane made her realize how much she missed bein' a mom. 295 00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:18,271 How much she missed someone innocent around to liven up the house. 296 00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:27,080 Someone who needed her to take care of him. 297 00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:29,382 Someone to have fun with. 298 00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:33,586 Because no matter how far she sent her boys away, she was still a mom. 299 00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:36,523 There was no forgettin' it. And she didn't want to. 300 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:41,594 And the next morning, I was still making headway on the Mustang. 301 00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,830 At least I thought I was. 302 00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,304 You're putting a 1970 carburetor on a '65? 303 00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:53,340 It'll fit. Oh, sure, it'll fit. 304 00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:56,176 That size four dress'll fit your mother, but I wouldn't take her out in it. 305 00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:57,877 That's a matching numbers car there. 306 00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:01,281 Well, it's gonna have to work 'cause it's all I have. 307 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,362 Where is this from? 308 00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:17,730 1965. Just put it on there. 309 00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:22,869 Go on. 310 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:26,139 That's it. That's it. Easy. 311 00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:30,643 No, no, no, no. You gotta hold it down even so you don't cross the threads. 312 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:36,316 Go to the cabinet, get the throttle plate. We're gonna need that next. 313 00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:38,218 Go. You know what a throttle plate looks like, don't you? 314 00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:40,920 [ Grunts ] 315 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:45,625 [ Earl Narrating ] When I saw all those Mustang parts my father bought over 20 years ago, 316 00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:49,296 I realized this wasn't just a car my dad had planned on givin' me. 317 00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:52,199 It was a car he had planned on us rebuildin' together. 318 00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:54,133 [ Ratchet Clicking ] 319 00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,371 So that's what we did. 320 00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:01,641 Over the next couple days, we got talkin' less about car parts... 321 00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:04,744 and more about other things. So I was supposed to be named Carl? 322 00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:07,214 Yep, after me. 323 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:09,382 But on your birth certificate-- 324 00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:12,452 I've always sucked at cursive, so I put an extra loop on the "C." 325 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:16,556 So the "C" looked like an "E," and here you are-- Earl Hickey. 326 00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:19,659 [ Earl Narrating ] And before I knew it, I was havin' somethin' with my dad... 327 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:22,295 I never had before-- a conversation. 328 00:19:22,329 --> 00:19:25,898 And we kept on havin' 'em for the next two weeks, until the car was finished. 329 00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:31,638 Looks great, huh? It sure does. 330 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,740 [ Earl Narrating ] And then it came to me. 331 00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:37,744 What I had cheated myself out of, all those years ago, wasn't a car. 332 00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:41,214 It was a chance to have some quality time with my dad. 333 00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:44,784 And now that I got that, I could cross myself off my list. 334 00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:48,388 [ Sighs ] 335 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,930 Well, here you go. 336 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,902 Now, the paint's not totally dry, 337 00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:05,472 so don't let Randy slide across the hood like he always wants to. 338 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,776 Hmm. 339 00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,811 Maybe I should just keep it here. 340 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:14,914 Here? Why would you want to do that? 341 00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:18,885 Well, the motel's no place to store a nice car like this. 342 00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:21,554 Plus, you'd get to drive it too. 343 00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:31,030 Let's go take her for a ride. Mm-hmm. 344 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,833 [ Earl Narrating ] Some people might think... 345 00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:36,836 that leavin' that car with my dad was an unselfish act. 346 00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:39,272 But I wasn't doin' it for him. 347 00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:42,375 That car was the first good memory my dad and I had together, 348 00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:44,477 and I didn't want him to forget it. 349 00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:56,323 [ Sighs ] 350 00:20:56,356 --> 00:20:58,791 What the hell? 351 00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:01,694 Somebody put a damn snake-dog back here! [ Ferret Chittering ] 352 00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:03,730 Don't touch the ferret, Patty! [ Shouting ] 353 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,865 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Patty, don't touch the ferret!