1
00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,929
<i> My dreams are all dead and buried </i>

2
00:00:11,639 --> 00:00:15,803
<i> Sometimes I wish the sun
would just explode </i>

3
00:00:16,944 --> 00:00:20,937
<i> When God comes
and calls me to His kingdom </i>

4
00:00:21,749 --> 00:00:25,480
<i> I'll take all you sons of bitches
when I go </i>

5
00:00:29,156 --> 00:00:30,589
- My turn.
- Hell, no.

6
00:00:30,624 --> 00:00:33,787
- Man, let me drive that thing. Come on!
- Do not touch the trim!

7
00:00:36,731 --> 00:00:40,633
Early's tenure as CEO
of Dan Halen Sheetrock International...

8
00:00:40,668 --> 00:00:44,604
had not been long,
but it had been distinguished.

9
00:00:44,638 --> 00:00:49,507
By drunkenness, hair-trigger violence,
and a total lack of performance.

10
00:00:49,543 --> 00:00:52,011
I would call it
a steady decline in performance...

11
00:00:52,046 --> 00:00:56,346
but that would imply
that he performed at one point in time.

12
00:00:56,383 --> 00:00:59,352
In fact, he had not.
He was drunk.

13
00:00:59,386 --> 00:01:03,152
Herd Thinner is the name of the brand.
I can't change that.

14
00:01:03,190 --> 00:01:06,318
What would you have me call it?
It's a highly toxic gel.

15
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:07,349
Hi.

16
00:01:07,394 --> 00:01:10,124
I know it looks like toothpaste.
It's supposed to.

17
00:01:10,164 --> 00:01:12,428
No, I'm saying, "Wipe, moron."

18
00:01:12,466 --> 00:01:13,433
Hold on there.

19
00:01:21,542 --> 00:01:24,807
Well, now, looky here.
Hot damn it! It's the weekend!

20
00:01:24,845 --> 00:01:26,779
- See you Tuesday.
- It is Tuesday.

21
00:01:28,415 --> 00:01:30,440
But in the mountains of North Georgia...

22
00:01:30,484 --> 00:01:35,046
even a CEO's meager salary
is not enough to raise a family.

23
00:01:35,089 --> 00:01:39,355
Sometimes people need a second job
to make trucks meet.

24
00:01:39,393 --> 00:01:40,860
Toodly do!

25
00:01:41,829 --> 00:01:43,023
Them hippies show up?

26
00:01:43,063 --> 00:01:45,759
They're out back.
Why do they come up here every week?

27
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,030
Here you go, boy.
I bought you a veggie game.

28
00:01:48,068 --> 00:01:49,126
- You did?
- Hell, no.

29
00:01:49,170 --> 00:01:51,536
Wash them trucks.
But you leave the boat to me.

30
00:01:51,572 --> 00:01:54,905
Don't you touch that sonbitchin' boat.
A boat is not a toy.

31
00:01:54,942 --> 00:01:57,035
Thank you.
The boat is mine.

32
00:01:58,712 --> 00:02:00,304
The boat is mine!

33
00:02:00,881 --> 00:02:03,145
Dude, I'm scared.

34
00:02:03,184 --> 00:02:06,676
- I think that thing moved.
- Chill, Troy.

35
00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:10,053
This guy's cool. Just stay calm.
He totally won't shoot.

36
00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:16,791
Gentlemen, Evan,
how might I assistify you?

37
00:02:16,831 --> 00:02:21,734
To be of assistification to you?
Assistalort hepignate.

38
00:02:21,769 --> 00:02:24,738
We were told, like,
by, like, my big brother.

39
00:02:24,772 --> 00:02:31,405
- Bro is like you might be able to, like...
- You want to bang yourself a goat?

40
00:02:33,214 --> 00:02:35,876
Because the goat's dead
but we can still do this thing.

41
00:02:35,916 --> 00:02:38,680
- I'll give you a deal on it.
- He wants to.

42
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,280
No, seriously.
We just want to buy weed.

43
00:02:42,323 --> 00:02:45,292
Hell. I got to read my walk-ins better.
All right, boys.

44
00:02:45,326 --> 00:02:49,626
You see that smoke over there
coming off that bald-headed sonbitch?

45
00:02:49,663 --> 00:02:53,759
That's where you pick the good stuff.
Go on. Take your boyfriend with you.

46
00:02:53,801 --> 00:02:57,430
- Would you mind taking a quick survey?
- That thing moved.

47
00:02:58,973 --> 00:03:00,668
I thought that was a scarecrow.

48
00:03:00,708 --> 00:03:03,074
No, no.
That there is the Research Department.

49
00:03:03,110 --> 00:03:05,601
- Television...
- Shut up, Research Department!

50
00:03:06,747 --> 00:03:10,774
- Where am I?
- Holy...! Is that a still?

51
00:03:10,818 --> 00:03:13,446
- Troy, shut up, dude, man.
- That's all right, Evan.

52
00:03:13,487 --> 00:03:14,545
Troy's a curious one.

53
00:03:14,588 --> 00:03:17,614
Now, allow me to explain
the contamination process.

54
00:03:17,658 --> 00:03:20,252
Pine cones go in here...

55
00:03:20,294 --> 00:03:23,627
party liquors come out
here and proceed to here.

56
00:03:23,664 --> 00:03:26,758
Fights begin,
fingerprints is took, days is lost...

57
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,735
bail is made, court dates are ignored,
cycle is repeated.

58
00:03:29,770 --> 00:03:33,866
- Dude, can I get that?
- Yeah, go on with it.

59
00:03:33,908 --> 00:03:36,570
This will put some fuzz
on your chewing gum.

60
00:03:36,610 --> 00:03:39,101
- Do it, man.
- Troy. Stepping up.

61
00:03:39,146 --> 00:03:41,478
- Do it. Do it. Do it, man.
- Yeah, come on, boy.

62
00:03:41,515 --> 00:03:43,483
- Drink, drink, drink.
- Hit it, son.

63
00:03:45,252 --> 00:03:47,743
Oh, man. I'm blind.

64
00:03:47,788 --> 00:03:50,552
- This is awesome.
- Hook me up, then, dude.

65
00:03:50,591 --> 00:03:54,789
- How long can I ride this train?
- I'd say about four... ever.

66
00:03:54,828 --> 00:03:55,920
Dude.

67
00:03:55,963 --> 00:03:58,659
Mind yourself, now,
or you're gonna wake up next to that.

68
00:03:58,699 --> 00:03:59,961
Hi.

69
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,867
<i>All stuck up together
by the dried fluids of amore.</i>

70
00:04:02,903 --> 00:04:04,029
I like butt cheeks.

71
00:04:04,071 --> 00:04:07,632
Yeah. It's happened
to the best of us. A lot.

72
00:04:07,675 --> 00:04:10,735
Dude, we have got to bring
some of this back to the house.

73
00:04:10,778 --> 00:04:14,942
- Gordo and Wolfman will go ballistic.
- Uh-uh-uh, son.

74
00:04:16,450 --> 00:04:18,714
Did you need money, or...

75
00:04:18,752 --> 00:04:22,085
How about them costly
puka beads you're wearing?

76
00:04:22,122 --> 00:04:24,784
- All right. Sweet.
- This is awesome!

77
00:04:24,825 --> 00:04:26,952
Touch fists, let's go.
Let's put it up.

78
00:04:26,994 --> 00:04:31,897
- Leave me hanging. Touch fists.
- I put my fist in the beehive.

79
00:04:31,932 --> 00:04:33,194
- Russell!
- Yes'm?

80
00:04:33,233 --> 00:04:35,758
Go ahead and fill up
these oil jugs for these boys.

81
00:04:35,803 --> 00:04:36,997
With pine-cone liquor?

82
00:04:37,037 --> 00:04:39,665
- Hell, no.
- I'm driving. Where's your dad's car?

83
00:04:39,707 --> 00:04:41,174
Pee pee in them jugs.

84
00:04:42,176 --> 00:04:43,643
Hell!

85
00:04:43,677 --> 00:04:47,238
That's the office. I can't believe
I got to go in on a Wednesday.

86
00:04:47,281 --> 00:04:49,875
Them people
can't wipe their ass without me.

87
00:05:01,895 --> 00:05:04,955
Howdy doody, Donna?
Nice ass this morning.

88
00:05:04,999 --> 00:05:08,162
- Yeah. You wearing panties?
- Actually I need to get off here.

89
00:05:08,202 --> 00:05:12,002
Steve, big dog. Here's the pot
I've been growing on my property.

90
00:05:12,039 --> 00:05:15,531
See if this don't help
with your wife bitching and all that mess.

91
00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:19,808
- Not here, man.
- Pine-cone liquor? Nobody?

92
00:05:21,115 --> 00:05:24,642
Well, then,
how about a fried possum pecker?

93
00:05:31,658 --> 00:05:33,353
I need to get off here at three.

94
00:05:37,264 --> 00:05:40,062
Don't forget, y'all.
Softball Thursday night.

95
00:05:41,035 --> 00:05:44,994
Come on. Work, work.
Come on. What is the deal with this?

96
00:05:45,039 --> 00:05:48,770
Step aside, Glen. You got
a Error 43 - Replace Toner Cartridge.

97
00:05:49,843 --> 00:05:51,834
Looks like the magenta.

98
00:05:51,879 --> 00:05:53,574
Damn. This is gonna hurt.

99
00:05:58,118 --> 00:05:59,210
Stand clear!

100
00:06:02,089 --> 00:06:03,681
Hurry now. Hurry.

101
00:06:03,724 --> 00:06:08,093
Take out there sexual harassment manual
and hit me in my groin.

102
00:06:08,128 --> 00:06:09,618
- You're sure about that?
- Hurry.

103
00:06:09,663 --> 00:06:11,858
- Hard?
- Faster, damn it. Faster.

104
00:06:11,899 --> 00:06:16,097
- All right, all right. Here.
- Don't stop, don't stop!

105
00:06:17,137 --> 00:06:18,434
Now flog my ass.

106
00:06:21,909 --> 00:06:25,504
Now, now you're ... with me.
Nice one.

107
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:28,580
See if that sonbitch will fax now.

108
00:06:28,615 --> 00:06:32,107
It never was able to fax.
It's a coffeemaker.

109
00:06:33,153 --> 00:06:34,916
You dumb ass, you can't fax coffee.

110
00:06:34,955 --> 00:06:38,413
Coffee don't fax worth a damn.
Every time the rain hits it, it'll run.

111
00:06:38,459 --> 00:06:40,825
Damn.
You're a dumb sonbitch.

112
00:06:40,861 --> 00:06:43,329
- What do you mean, where did I get 'em?
- Early.

113
00:06:43,363 --> 00:06:46,389
Some fool left them out.
I'd offer you one, but they're mine.

114
00:06:46,433 --> 00:06:51,370
Early, it has come to my attention
that during employment hours...

115
00:06:51,405 --> 00:06:55,808
you have been distributing and consuming
certain arboreal alcoholic libation.

116
00:06:58,045 --> 00:06:59,774
You know, you've been drinking.

117
00:07:02,349 --> 00:07:04,579
Liquid in your mouth?

118
00:07:06,053 --> 00:07:07,748
- Alcohol?
- Sure, I'll have one.

119
00:07:07,788 --> 00:07:11,884
No, you won't.
What you will do is answer this question.

120
00:07:11,925 --> 00:07:14,155
How does it taste?

121
00:07:14,194 --> 00:07:17,095
Like the untamed wilditude of nature...

122
00:07:17,131 --> 00:07:20,760
erupting in the space
where your brain used to live.

123
00:07:21,435 --> 00:07:22,834
Take a sip, you'll see.

124
00:07:22,870 --> 00:07:27,068
- But not for long.
- Let me show you something, Early.

125
00:07:27,107 --> 00:07:29,302
Close your eyes.

126
00:07:29,343 --> 00:07:31,311
Now open them.

127
00:07:31,345 --> 00:07:34,246
Oh, hell!
I'm exposed. Nudified.

128
00:07:34,581 --> 00:07:38,017
That's right.
I stripped you of your dignity.

129
00:07:38,051 --> 00:07:41,316
What if the rest of the world
were as blind as you just were?

130
00:07:41,355 --> 00:07:43,050
I reckon you could take my stuff.

131
00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:45,558
No, no, no.
I would never think of doing that.

132
00:07:45,592 --> 00:07:48,755
But you thought of it, so we'll do it.
How much of this can we make?

133
00:07:50,998 --> 00:07:52,625
Well, how is it?

134
00:07:54,902 --> 00:07:57,769
Very warm, robust...

135
00:07:57,804 --> 00:08:01,296
with just a buttery high note
of all-weather coolant...

136
00:08:01,341 --> 00:08:03,832
and there we go.

137
00:08:03,877 --> 00:08:05,970
Darkness. Wait a minute!

138
00:08:08,715 --> 00:08:11,548
- Is this brake fluid?
- Brake fluid? No. Steering.

139
00:08:11,585 --> 00:08:14,486
I said hairspray, sonbitch.
What are you? Blind?

140
00:08:14,521 --> 00:08:17,251
- I am blind.
- You been drinking the product, ain't you?

141
00:08:17,291 --> 00:08:21,318
- I am so sorry. Is good.
- It's damn good.

142
00:08:21,361 --> 00:08:26,298
But it needs a name. Something sexy,
inviting, and sophisticated.

143
00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:27,800
Glug.

144
00:08:27,834 --> 00:08:32,828
Yes! Erupt into a bev-rage
this summer with Glug.

145
00:08:32,873 --> 00:08:35,671
That's the slogan. We'll add
the word "dawg" for the blacks.

146
00:08:35,709 --> 00:08:38,735
They like that word,
like they're friends with the product.

147
00:08:41,415 --> 00:08:45,408
And so Dan Halen flooded
the market with Early's Glug.

148
00:08:47,187 --> 00:08:50,156
Welcome, y'all.
Come on in and get your Glug on.

149
00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:53,489
Leave your money on the counter.
I trust you.

150
00:08:53,527 --> 00:08:56,257
And the region was cast in darkness.

151
00:08:56,296 --> 00:08:59,732
Affordable, refreshing,
brain-suffocating darkness.

152
00:08:59,766 --> 00:09:02,963
Russell, get the hell in my hands
where I can see you.

153
00:09:03,003 --> 00:09:07,235
What did I tell you
about drinking underneath the age?

154
00:09:07,274 --> 00:09:10,038
You said if I could afford
and bring back enough for you...

155
00:09:10,077 --> 00:09:13,569
you don't care what I do, and it's my body
and I can kill it however I want to.

156
00:09:13,614 --> 00:09:16,014
And America's about freedom.

157
00:09:16,049 --> 00:09:19,815
Son, there's every chance in the world
I was drunk when I said that?

158
00:09:19,853 --> 00:09:21,582
It's your welfare I care about.

159
00:09:22,856 --> 00:09:25,484
You know that check?
Did that come today?

160
00:09:25,525 --> 00:09:28,323
- I ain't seen the mail.
- I knew you been drinking.

161
00:09:28,362 --> 00:09:29,727
Don't hurt me, Rusty!

162
00:09:29,763 --> 00:09:32,231
- Get back here.
- Is that Rusty?

163
00:09:34,001 --> 00:09:36,765
- Get your Glug on.
- Get the stuff.

164
00:09:36,803 --> 00:09:39,533
Cash your Glug points
for hats, coolers...

165
00:09:39,573 --> 00:09:42,201
canes, seeing-eye dogs,
books on tape.

166
00:09:42,242 --> 00:09:46,269
The audio phone book, A-L,
as read by Dan Halen.

167
00:09:46,313 --> 00:09:50,443
Chapter one. Residents.
Abarado, Thomas C.

168
00:09:50,484 --> 00:09:56,787
Klondike, 58272 area code
678-555-0112.

169
00:09:56,823 --> 00:10:00,054
Entry number two,
Avarao, Janine.

170
00:10:00,093 --> 00:10:04,257
Highway 172, 678-555...

171
00:10:04,298 --> 00:10:08,098
And a Glug grand prize
for a trip for two to Hawaii.

172
00:10:08,135 --> 00:10:10,763
That's right.
You can't see it, but you'll buy it.

173
00:10:10,804 --> 00:10:12,237
Yeah, you'll buy anything!

174
00:10:12,272 --> 00:10:14,706
Let's go ahead and cut that last line.

175
00:10:14,741 --> 00:10:17,608
And make sure
my leggings are pressed.

176
00:10:17,644 --> 00:10:22,513
For tomorrow, all those that mocked me
will feel my wrath.

177
00:10:37,264 --> 00:10:38,595
How was that?

178
00:10:39,733 --> 00:10:42,258
- Was that a strike?
- It's still in your hand!

179
00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:48,003
Go on, mate. Hurl the sphere,
and I will shock the world.

180
00:10:54,581 --> 00:10:57,641
- Did I strike him out again?
- Ball Four.

181
00:10:57,684 --> 00:11:02,280
Yes. Rack another one
up for the walk master.

182
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:10,000
Subtitles by
BloodLogic