UPSTATE NEW YORK 1974
♪ Said the night wind to the little lamb ♪
♪ Do you see what I see? ♪
DON'T COUNT ON IT
Thad, I said no toys at Grandfather's.
But it's Christmas.
Stop it!
- Hey! Dad! - Hey!
Thad, you can't go crying to other people all the time.
A man needs to know when to stand up for himself.
Dear Magic-isn't-real Ball,
will Thad ever be a man?
Ouch.
Outlook not so good.
You broke it.
Dad?
Sid?
Someone help me!
Help!
Hello?
Thaddeus Sivana.
Who are you?
How do you know my name?
I am the last of the consul of wizards.
Sworn to protect realms from the Seven Deadly Sins.
For years have passed
and I have grown weak.
That is why I seek a champion to inherit my magic.
You want me to do magic?
With this,
all of my powers will become yours.
But first,
you must demonstrate that you're pure of heart
and strong in spirit.
He lies.
Don't be his champion.
We can give you power.
Search the eye.
Your father thinks you're weak.
Show him your power.
No!
What happened?
Only the purest of hearts can resist their temptations.
But you, you will never be worthy.
♪ Do you know what I know? ♪
Wait.
I've telling you, I swear!
Put me back in!
- Put me back in! - Thad!
Calm down.
Hey! I'm gonna kill you, you little punk!
Thad...
I... I was just there.
This man... this wizard...
He took me to a castle and...
Stop. Stop. Stop it!
You miserable, whiny, little shit!
You coulda killed us! Do you understand that?
♪ Said the king to the people everywhere ♪
♪ Listen to what I say! ♪
♪ He will bring us ♪
♪ Goodness and light! ♪
Dad?
Dad!
Dad?
You're okay.
You're gonna be okay.
You did this.
You did this!
No. Dad...
FIND US
Your magic grows weak.
Soon you won't be able to contain us.
Seeking spells!
Find me one soul who's worthy!
No matter how long it takes.
PHILADELPHIA PRESENT DAY
♪ Oh, it's the real thing ♪
♪ Hey! ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ All my life, I've said I've said it ♪
♪ I'm gonna be one of the greats ♪
♪ Oh, it's the real thing ♪
Holy moley!
The boys in blue!
I'm sure glad to see you.
I called as soon as I saw.
They're in there.
You stay here.
Police!
I saw 'em hide back in there.
- Police, comin' in! - Police!
- There's nobody here. It's a closet. - What do you mean?
You really bought that, huh?
♪ Oh, it's the real thing ♪
Hey, no, no, no!
Stop, stop, stop, stop!
Open this up right now, kid!
That's a federal offense, kid! You can't do that!
Don't go in that car.
Come on, open the door, please.
Please, please, come on!
Open this door, right now!
Come on!
Very good, very funny.
Very funny. That's great.
That's hilarious, yeah.
Uh, dispatch, we need backup
at the Lower One shopping center, please.
Dispatch, cancel that request.
Some kid stole our walkie-talkies.
"Walkie-talkies"? How old are you?
No, no, no, no. That's my lunch, kid!
Miss Batson, I, uh... I-I've been looking for you.
Ugh... No. Gosh.
It's me, it's Billy.
Ugh... okay.
I want the tiger.
I know, honey, I know.
But Mom's not exactly going pro here.
We got one!
But I wanted a tiger!
Oh, but this is the real prize, baby.
See?
You can use that your whole life.
You'll always find your way.
I can't find my way.
Mom?
Mom!
Hey.
Who are you with, bud?
Yeah, he says it's Billy Batson.
Don't worry, kid.
I'm sure she'll come looking before too long, okay?
They always do.
Mom, I'm home.
Yes?
Yeah, uh...
Is this Rachel Batson?
Who's asking?
Um...
Yeah, see, the thing is...
I think you're my mom.
You sure about that?
Sorry to bother you.
You just had to take my lunch, huh?
You save me any fries?
Foster home in Pittsburgh
reported you missing two weeks ago.
You sending me back?
No.
They don't want you.
Harsh.
You laugh,
but you've run from foster homes in six counties, Mr. Batson.
From good people... who want you,
all in pursuit of someone who arguably does not.
It's time someone looked you in the eye
and told it to you straight.
I don't need parents to play make-believe with.
I got a mom.
Yes.
You're some detective.
73 Batsons,
between the ages of 28-40,
and you've crossed out every one.
She's still out there.
I know it.
There's a couple outside, Mr. Batson.
They run a group home.
I can take care of myself.
When you're 18.
Until then,
I won't have you living on the streets
looking for someone who never looked for you.
Give these people a chance.
'Cause that's what they're giving you.
You're out of options.
All right, let's get the spiel.
Just stay with me and Rosa, we get it.
We were foster kids back in the day.
Ooh, back in the dark ages.
Girl!
I'm young at heart.
Got my finger on the pulse.
Yeah, that's a reference to his blood pressure because he's old.
Billy, do you have any food allergies?
Oh, wish you did. Darla's cookin'.
- Oy, guerito! - What?
We know how overwhelming it can all be.
New house, new faces.
All up in your face.
Just... take it at your own speed.
Hello?
We're home!
That's what happens when you suck!
So much for the welcome party.
Yeah, that thing growing out of the couch would be Eugene.
Is that him?
Oh, my gosh! Billy!
Whoa, slow down, slow down!
Welcome home!
- And that's Darla. - I'm Darla.
Big hugger.
I noticed.
Die! Die! Die!
He doesn't mean that. It's the game.
Hey.
No sodas after dark, remember?
Whoa. When did it get dark?
Oh, the poster. I made you one. Come look!
Oh, no!
Sorry, Pedro must've been working out.
He was supposed to be at school.
Oh.
Here.
Yes.
Exactly why your Math Department is so uniquely suited for me.
I can't, I can't even... with Eugene right now.
Sorry. Mary. Hi.
College interview.
- I'm Billy. - What am I most excited about?
Oh.
What a great question. I was hoping you'd ask.
Mention you're a foster kid. Colleges eat that up.
What I'm most excited about
is the campus experience.
As a foster child, I'm a big believer
in finding family and friends in the most
unlikely of places.
Oh, I'm gonna miss that girl so much!
It's Caltech, it's a very prestigious school.
And also all the way in California.
But we don't have to talk about that right now.
It's a tough subject for me.
Do you like vegan food?
- Mm-mm. - 'Cause, see, I love animals.
Oh, no! The tofurkey!
Oh, no, we may have to eat a real turkey!
- Is that? - It's okay. Come, I'll show you your room.
It's a bit of a madhouse, I know, but,
it's fun!
Watch the bumps there.
Pedro, mi amor, hola.
Say hi to Billy.
Don't take it personally. He's like that with everyone.
Freddy.
This is Billy Batson.
Make sure you make him feel at home, okay?
Maybe don't say anything too weird?
Oh, one weird thing is
you know the Romans used to brush their teeth with their urine?
Apparently, it-it works.
Yup, um...
Oh, it's, uh... it's a long way down.
Trust me, I speak from experience.
Victor pushed me.
They seem nice, but don't buy it.
It gets real Game of Thrones around here.
What?
Dude, I'm... just messin' around.
It's um, it's terminal cancer, I...
I have three months.
Kidding, again!
You look at me and you're, like, "Why so dark?"
"You're a disabled foster kid, you've got it all." Right?
Oh, yeah, that's the, uh, the old batarang.
I mean, it's a replica, but...
Feel how sharp.
Could kill you in your sleep with that thing.
You ever a Supes guy?
Yeah, me too.
Behold, the holy grail.
One nine millimeter round shot at Superman himself.
It's legit.
Probably worth, I dunno, $5-600, maybe more.
What's in the bag?
Hey.
Hey, it's all good. It's good to maintain boundaries.
You don't gotta talk so much, you know.
I mean, this place is great. You're gonna love it.
Dinner!
All hands on deck!
Sweet.
Thank you for this family.
Thank you for this day.
Thank you for this food.
Even if it's not steak fillet.
Big school. 2,000 students, you might think,
"Wow, so many strangers."
But not if you think of them as
possible for each friend then,
"Oh, so many friends."
The principal, her name's Shirley. She's the best.
Next.
This is our security scanner.
Like in an airport. It's totally safe.
I know what it is.
Does she always do this?
Silence makes me uncomfortable.
She's almost never uncomfortable.
Have a good first day, big brother.
Look, you don't have to hug me all the time.
We're not actually brother and sister, so.
I'm sorry.
- Hey. - Hey.
I-I didn't mean to make her...
I was overwhelmed, honestly.
He said I must be pure of heart.
He called himself a wizard.
Just like a...
a wizard from Harry Potter, some...
But y-you're saying that other people have experienced this?
In a sense, yes.
Do you remember what he said to you?
He tested me.
There were these statues.
Their eyes, it's like they were looking at me,
making me think things.
Like, horrible things.
And do these approximate what you saw?
Yes. That's exactly how I remember it.
I-I don't understand. How do you know...?
Recurring imagery has proven very common
in cases of mass hysteria.
"Mass hysteria"?
I know.
The term's a bit theatrical.
But take UFO sightings, for example.
Lights in the sky, flying saucers.
Isolated incidents of people who do not know each other...
Symbols.
Ask her about the symbols.
Sorry, Ms. Kwan.
But as an example of recurring imagery,
maybe you recall seeing
these symbols before the alleged abduction?
Don't remember any symbols, no.
I think I caught it on video. There was something, um...
I remember the numbers on my alarm clock, they kept
shifting.
Video?
Show me the video.
Uh, Ms. Kwan, this is Dr. Sivana.
Um, one moment, I can send it.
Hello?
Oh, my God! Who's there?
Hello?
What's going on? What's happening?
I'm-I'm going to call the police.
Then this blinding light all around me.
And I felt like I was getting pulled down...
Like a temple carved inside a mountain...
Exactly what you'd expect from a guy who call himself a wizard.
...brought there to save the world.
Dr. Sivana!
I appreciate your enthusiasm.
But you're funding my project.
And when I'm interviewing, I don't wanna be interrupted.
56 reported abductions.
- I never saw it. - Saw what?
Doctor, what is all this?
All these years...
I was convinced
I had the incorrect sequence.
Or perhaps...
the wrong symbols to open the door.
But on that woman's alarm clock,
the seven symbols.
The sequence
repeating itself
seven times.
That's the difference.
Is this some sort of joke?
It may seem that way to you.
Because we're not, in actuality,
studying mass hysteria.
What all these people have seen,
every single one of them,
is absolutely real.
An alarm clock malfunctions,
and your first thought is it's proof of a wizard?
Come on, Dr. Sivana.
You can't believe any of this is real.
Why, yes.
Yes, I do.
I've been waiting for this moment
for so long.
And now, here we are.
You don't remember me, do you?
I remember you.
You were a boy.
Now, you dare intrude in my kingdom.
Do you know what it's like for a child to be told,
"You'll never be good enough"?
No, you don't.
What you said to me all those years ago
made me realize who I really was.
And you know something?
I am not pure of heart.
The wizard is too weak to stop us.
No.
No!
You never found your champion.
But we found ours.
You are the true champion.
They're using you.
You're nothing to them but a means of escape.
Through you, they'll spread the poison to everything they touch!
Make mankind turn into them.
You seek a pure soul, old man.
But no one's worthy.
Flight or invisibility?
If you could have one superpower,
flight or invisibility, what would you pick?
Everybody chooses flight. You know why?
So they can fly away from this conversation?
No, 'cause heroes fly.
Who doesn't want people to think they're a hero, right?
But-But invisibility, no way, I mean, that's perfect.
Spying around on people who don't even know you're there.
Sneaking around everywhere.
It's a total villain power, right?
Then they did this study, and this is a real thing.
They asked people the same question,
You know, what power do you want? But this time,
they made it so the answers were anonymous.
And-And most people, since they knew that it was secret,
said invisibility.
And I think that's 'cause most people
don't feel like heroes on the inside, deep down.
You're gonna run away.
I mean, you stole my Superman bullet.
Dude, I get it, I get it.
You've been screwed over way too many times.
You don't trust anyone.
But that's the thing about invisibility.
You handle it by yourself.
I didn't steal your dumb bullet.
Hey, how was it today?
That good, huh?
Whoa!
Oh, my God! Freddy!
You okay?
What the hell?
What is wrong with you two?
- No way that's gonna buff out. - You gonna pay for that thing?
For the dent you made almost hitting me?
Yeah, sure, um, do you guys take these?
Brett, stop!
Don't touch my brother!
What, you need your fake family to stand up for you?
- Stand up for yourself, man. - Yeah, huh?
Here, stand up. Stand up for yourself.
What are you gonna do? Go home, cry to mommy?
Oh, yeah, you don't have a mommy.
Stop hurting him!
Hey!
Man, sorry about that.
That wasn't fair, but,
then again, you don't play fair, so.
Back off, assbags, I know how to use these things!
Oh!
Hey!
Freddy, you okay?
Nowhere to run!
- Go, go, go! - Grab him!
Get out of the way!
Whoa!
No, no, no, no!
You're dead, kid!
Yeah, you think you're funny?
I know where you go to school, right!
Next stop, 30th Street Station.
Change for the Regional Rail Line.
Hello?
What's going on?
Help!
Holy moley.
Hello?
What the hell?
Who-Who's doing this?!
Hi, um...
I was supposed to get off at 30th.
Billy Batson.
How'd you know my name?
I am the last of the consul of wizards.
Keeper of the Rock of Eternity.
Oh.
You're
that guy.
Listen, I don't have any money.
Do not patronize me, boy!
You are standing in the source of all magic.
The Rock of Eternity.
Seven foes, seven wizards.
But long ago, we chose a champion.
And we chose recklessly.
He used his power for revenge.
Releasing the Seven Deadly Sins into the world.
Millions of lives were lost.
Entire civilizations erased from existence.
That is why I vowed never to pass on my magic
until I find one truly good person.
Strong in spirit.
Pure in heart.
Look, man, maybe this is magic.
I-I don't know, but,
the people you're looking for, good, pure people...
I'm not one of them.
I-I don't know if anyone is, really.
You, Billy Batson, are all I have.
All the world has.
Lay your hands on this staff.
Gross.
And say my name so my powers may flow through you.
I open my heart to you, Billy Batson.
And in so doing, choose you as champion.
Thanks. Don't scream at me, mister, but
I really gotta get going.
My brothers and sisters were slain by the sins.
Their thrones lie empty!
My magic must be passed on.
Now...
Speak my name!
I-I don't know your name, sir.
We just met.
My name is...
Shazam.
Wait, for real?
- Say it! - Okay.
Jeez.
Should I say it?
Like,
Shazam?
Yes!
Carry my name
and with it, you carry all of my powers.
The wisdom of Solomon!
The strength of Hercules!
The stamina of Atlas!
The power of Zeus!
The courage of Achilles!
And speed of Mercury!
What happened to me? Why am I...?
W-W-What did you do to me? What did you do to my voice?
You have been transformed to your full potential, Billy Batson.
With your heart, unlock your greatest power.
The thrones of our brothers and sisters await!
Huh! Oh!
Get me outta here!
Dope!
My brother, I applaud your choices today.
Gold shoes, gold belt, white cape!
It shouldn't work, but, hot damn, it does!
Yes, officer, I'm aware he's run away in the past, I...
23 times?
Guy's got no social media presence.
At all.
The guy's a ghost.
You know guys, I'm happy to look for Billy.
More than happy.
Then you gotta wash the dishes, that's what's more important.
What are you gonna do, Freddy? Run after him? Ha-ha-ha!
Very funny!
No, wait, don't scream.
Uh, Victor! Victor! Victor!
It's me! It's Billy! It's Billy!
You asked me, "Flight or invisibility?"
I thought that was stupid, but now I look like this
and I need your help!
Meet me back here after lights out?
What's up, bud? You all right?
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm just...
I'm really... sad.
Because Billy's gone.
And you know,
maybe it's my fault. Maybe I did it.
Uh, you know, maybe I-I snore.
Hey, hey, hey. Not your fault, son, all right?
We'll find him, 'kay?
You don't snore that bad.
But you kinda smell.
Oh, oh, oh, my God!
Hey, stop right there.
How do I know you're not a supervillain using telepathic abilities
to make me believe that you're Billy, huh?
All I have to do is press dial on this thing.
No, no, I have proof, I have proof, here.
Look, I lied, okay? I took your bullet.
- Oop! No, no, no! No! - No! No!
Stupid adult hands!
But you saw it. You saw it, right?
Look, Freddy, I swear it's me, okay?
Look, I know we're not really close friends or anything,
but you're the only person that I know
that knows anything about this Caped Crusader stuff.
- That's Batman. - What?
Forget it.
Can I...?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh!
Oh, my God!
It's crazy, right?
What are your superpowers?
Superpowers? Dude, I don't even know how to pee in this thing!
Okay, c-can you fly?
Okay, let's do this.
How do we do this?
Just, um, just like Superman it.
Pkkwwff.
Pkkwf.
Obviously, you have to jump.
Come on.
How is that even obvious?
Okay.
Try, uh, t-to believe that you can fly.
Okay, I read this deep dive in the pyramid studies of superpowers
and in 6 out of 10, belief is the key.
Belief, belief, belief. Okay, okay.
I believe I can fly. I believe I...
I believe I can fly.
I...
Did you believe?
Yeah.
You wanna try invisibility?
How do I do...?
You... Forget it. You know. Okay, okay, okay.
Oh, my God! It worked!
Where'd you go?
I'm right here. You can't see me?
Where?
I'm invisible!
I'm right here. I'm over here.
I'm invisible!
Hey! Nice outfit, dipshit!
I-I might have
been testing invisibility and super intelligence at the same time.
Freeman, I'm gonna come over there and beat you.
Oh, my God!
The lightning, it was staring us right in the face the whole time!
Literally!
Okay, okay.
Billy, we gotta give you a lightning-themed superhero name.
Yeah.
Oh, right.
Hey, you, back...
off.
Hyperspeed, check!
I... I'm sorry-I'm so sorry.
I thought you were the one who was screaming.
I doused him with pepper spray.
Smart move.
Yeah, hey, get up, mister mugger guy!
Give the old lady her purse back.
Um, I'm your age.
And he didn't get a chance to take it 'cause I didn't let him take it.
Good, yeah, good. You're really on top of this stuff.
And that should teach you that old ladies,
regular-aged ladies like yourself
don't need your protecting.
Right? So get off, bro.
I'm sorry, who are you?
His name is Thundercrack!
Hero to the people.
With the power and speed of lightning all in one.
Dude, that sounds like a butt thing.
- Mr. Philadelphia! - That's a cream cheese thing, dude!
Powerboy, 'cause he's got all the powers.
'Cause sometimes pepper spray can't protect against evil.
Powerboy, do you know this child?
Like, like a teeny little bit.
I don't really know...
Yeah, he's, like, my manager. He's like a miniature manager.
- I'm his manager. - And uh, you know.
Powerboy's not gonna work either, okay? So work on something else...
Hey, hey, hey...
Electricity manipulation, hyperspeed, super strength!
Dude, you're stacked!
You're as cool as Superman! Almost.
I didn't see you or what's happened here.
I don't wanna know. Just don't hurt me.
- Oh, no, no, I'm not gonna hurt you. - Thank you for your kind donation.
No, no, no, but if you need any more help,
just look for the superhero that still can't fly.
Forget flying, man, we just made 73 bucks!
73 bucks?
Come on!
Hey, wait a minute.
I just got an idea.
I'd like to purchase some of your finest beer, please.
I don't know about this. I mean, we don't have a fake ID.
Freddy, would you relax?
Look at me, I am the fake ID.
Everything from the register! Go! Go!
Now! Come on!
I don't have much time! Let's go! Move!
I want it all! Hurry!
This is your chance.
Oh! I... okay.
Come on, come on, let's do this!
Gentlemen!
Why use guns when we can handle this like real men?
Billy, look out!
Bullet immunity. You have bullet immunity!
I'm bulletproof.
Today is December 8th,
and this is video proof of authenticity.
Shoot him again.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, here.
Go, both of you, come on. Go to town.
W-W-W-Wait!
We still don't know if the suit is bulletproof or if you are.
Shoot him in the face.
Shoot me in the... in the face?
It kinda tickles.
You're dead.
- Sorry about your window. - Have a good night.
But you're welcome for not getting robbed!
Come on!
Let's get outta here!
Hey.
- To fighting bad guys. - Yup.
That tastes like actual vomit.
You know,
habanero jerky, if you eat enough of it,
it could burn a hole in your stomach.
- Worth it. - Yeah.
Probably not you though. Probably got stomach superpowers.
Probably.
Oh, hey, what's up? I'm a superhero.
Yeah, his name is, uh,
Captain Sparkle Fingers.
No it's not. No it's not! It's not my name!
Hey, we should hang out. We're like, the same age.
Ho! po-po. I'm out.
Hey, wait up!
I mean, it's a pretty sick view.
I totally get why Rocky was training so hard to get up here.
I like you like this. This is so cool.
I mean, no offense, but like,
Like, at first, you were kinda like the opposite of how
of how Darla is.
A dick?
Your words, not mine.
But yeah.
All right, well, I feel like every criminal
was either on drugs or asleep by now.
Wanna head home?
Looking like this?
Yeah. I mean,
usually we'd have a lair to go back to, but
that's long term.
Right now you have a bunk bed.
Just scares me thinking of him out there all alone.
This is what he does, Rosa.
Difference is when they find him,
we'll be the first to take him back.
With open arms.
Didn't even make it two days. Not even two days.
Baby, we did our fair share of running off back then.
At least, I did.
Even Mary did it, twice.
That second time she ran off,
you said something that I'll never forget.
You said,
"It's not a home till you call it a home.
"It's something you choose."
All we can do is give him a place full of love.
Whether he chooses to call it a home,
that's up to him.
Gonna help me with this tree?
This tree's so sad.
H-Hello?
Just got done in the bathroom.
Oh, okay, Freddy, sweetie, goodnight!
- Night. - Night.
Freddy, who was that?
It's Billy, he's just really tired and he has laryngitis.
- What? Laryngitis? - I'm just kidding! I'm just kidding.
He's really, really tired and he wants to go beddy bye.
- Beddy bye? What's beddy bye? - Just hide, hide.
Billy, you're back! Let us see you!
We're so worried about you.
I told you this was a bad idea!
Freddy?
Hey, what happened to the stairs?
Hey, covering her mouth like you're gonna kidnap her
is not gonna make her less scared, okay?
Darla, it's me, it's Billy.
I know I don't look like me. A wizard made me look like this.
Maybe don't start with wizard,
it's just gonna make her more confused.
Some old guy brought me to a temple
and he made me say "Shazam"...
Rosa!
Verbally-triggered body manipulation properties!
You can switch by saying "Shazam!"
Baby, was that you? Are you okay?
Um...
I-I was screwing in a bulb.
Listen to me, Darla. You cannot tell anybody about this, all right?
But it's Billy, he's a hero.
But if a supervillain finds out that he's a hero,
that endangers us, okay?
A hero's loved ones are, like, a perfect bad guy target.
I-Is she good at keeping secrets?
Moderate.
- No. - Oh, God.
Okay, listen to me.
You cannot tell a single soul about this all right? Please.
Why? What if it's people we trust?
'Cause good sisters don't tell secrets.
- I'm a good sister. - Yeah, you are.
You know what would make you an even better sister?
Is when you fix the- the doorknob for us.
Sweet dreams.
Sweet dreams, goodnight.
Good night.
Hello, sir, how may I help you?
Hi, sir.
Sir, you can't go in there.
Excuse me! You cannot go in there!
Sorry I'm late.
Thad, this is for board members only.
I'm aware of that, Father.
Now...
That night, in the car...
I swore to you I saw something
but you never believed me.
So much easier to blame me, wasn't it?
And say that if I hadn't screamed that night,
you'd still have your legs.
Well, now, I have proof.
That's enough, Thad.
Dear Sid.
You think?
You know, even before the accident,
you belittled me.
Don't make me throw you out of here, Thad.
You don't need to make a scene.
Oh, brother...
The scene
has only just begun.
Ask that if you can throw me out.
What?
Ask the ball if you're man enough to throw me out of this room.
Let me spoil it for you.
Outlook...
not so good.
I've come here during the season of giving
to give you...
what you deserve.
Oh, my God!
No! No!
No!
Help!
Somebody!
Help me!
You can't go crying to other people all the time.
What sin best befits you, Father? Hmm?
I'll give you anything.
Money...
The company? You want the company?
There it is.
Greed.
Do you honestly think
all this
material you've accumulated
amounts to actual power?
This... is power.
More than you ever had.
More than anyone has.
There is one more powerful.
The wizard found his champion.
Kill the champion
before he learns his true potential.
Or he will defeat you.
Show me where to find him.
Oh, Greed...
you can have him.
No.
No!
Family is more than just a word.
This is family.
Uh, Burke?
Where's the truck?
I can hear it.
- Oh, my God! - My truck!
- Are you kidding?
You know, guys...
I don't think that's gonna buff out.
Making the cripple kid do the dirty work, wow.
I'm a better lookout. I can play innocent.
And I can't?
Your face gives off a very strong vibe
of someone who's hatching schemes.
- M-My face? This face? - Yeah!
Okay.
You boys got a hall pass?
Oh, us? Yeah. Always.
You.
You look like you're up to somethin'.
Me? Up to something? No. Never.
I'm not up to something.
Our dad's picking us up.
He, uh, he got held up at the... the business
office.
The business office, huh?
Sure, kid.
Look.
Parents or guardians must appear physically
to check out students.
Gotcha.
Okay, well, uh, you hear that, Dad?
- Hey. - Shazam!
Oh, hey, there, son!
Oh, hey, there, other son that I also have that's related
to that son I just passed in the hallway.
I'm so sorry I'm late, I got held up
at the business office.
Doing all the work stuff.
This is the-the security guard all the kids admire so much.
Oh.
That's the other one. This one sucks.
This is... that's not funny.
I gotta talk to him about that. I apologize.
Anyway, this is me appearing physically
to check my sons out of school.
So, thank you so much for keeping them safe,
Detective Moron.
♪ Don't stop me now ♪
It's Moran.
♪ Don't stop me now ♪
- Ready? - Algebra!
♪ 'Cause I'm havin' a good time ♪
Science!
♪ I'm a shooting star ♪
♪ Leaping through the sky ♪ English!
♪ Like a tiger ♪
♪ Defying the laws of gravity ♪ Ho!
♪ I'm a racing car passing by ♪
♪ Like Lady Godiva ♪
♪ I'm gonna go, go, go ♪
♪ There's no stopping me ♪ Strength Test 1
♪ I'm burnin' through the sky, yeah ♪ Oh!
♪ Two hundred degrees ♪
♪ That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit ♪
♪ I'm traveling at the speed of light ♪
♪ I wanna make a supersonic man out of you ♪
Flight Test 2
♪ Don't stop me now ♪
♪ I'm having such a good time ♪
♪ I'm havin' a ball ♪
♪ Don't stop me now ♪ You okay?
♪ If you wanna have a good time ♪
♪ Just give me a call ♪
♪ Don't stop me now ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm having a good time ♪
♪ I don't want to stop at all ♪
Laser Eyes Test 1
♪ I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars ♪
♪ On a collision course ♪
♪ I am a satellite ♪
♪ I'm out of control ♪ Teleportation Test 1
♪ I am a sex machine ready to reload ♪
♪ Like an atom bomb ♪
♪ About to oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, explode ♪
♪ I'm burnin' through the sky, yeah ♪
♪ Two hundred degrees ♪
♪ That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit ♪
♪ I'm travelin' at the speed of light ♪
I'm so... Stop!
♪ I wanna make a supersonic woman of you ♪
♪ Don't stop me, don't stop me, don't stop me ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪
♪ Don't stop me, don't stop me Ooh ooh ooh ♪
♪ I like it ♪
♪ Have a good time, good time ♪
♪ Don't stop me, don't stop me Ooh ooh ooh ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪
♪ Don't stop me, don't stop me Have a good time, good time ♪
♪ Don't stop me, don't stop me Oh! ♪
More powerful than a locomotive.
Locomo...? What are you? An old prospector?
Can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Single bound.
I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, people! Hi!
Your phone's charged.
You know what? You really need like a,
like a mic-drop catchphrase after you do somethin' cool.
I've been thinkin' about that.
I was thinking, what about, what about this,
"That's why you don't mess with electricity."
Catchphrases, obviously, aren't one of your superpowers.
And your phone's charged.
Well, you think you could do better?
What the hell?
Let there be light.
Come on!
♪ Just give me a call ♪
♪ Don't stop me now ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm having a good time ♪
How do I? Never mind.
Shazam!
♪ I don't want to stop at all ♪
Shazam!
♪ Alright ♪
What'd you see? What'd you see? Were there boobies?
You see nipples?
Why aren't you talking?
We're gonna need more money.
Wow, you were in there for, like, five minutes.
Dude, they were very convincing.
♪ That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit ♪
♪ I'm travelin' at the speed of light ♪
That's money... nice, nice...
Go, go, go.
♪ If you wanna have a good time ♪
No!
Stop, no!
- I'm not even looking. - Stop. Stop.
I'm not even looking.
Oh!
- Oh, and done! - What?
Finished him!
A lair?
Yes.
And obviously, we're gonna have to be
making this purchase anonymously.
Obviously.
And um, if you have a location,
like, on a cliff, like a castle-esque type thing.
Overlooking some water.
Over some water, seas below it.
- Rough, you know. - Like waterfall, so you can, like...
Waterfall! Yeah, if you have water... Yeah.
Look, Maximum... Voltage, is it?
You can call me Max.
Look, Max.
Why don't you just
start with how many bedrooms you're looking for?
- One. - Seven.
- One? - Seven?
What? Am I runnin' a foster home now?
See the one where he throws the football into space?
So dope.
Hey, you know, you guys gotta wonder who's filming those, right?
I mean, that's bravery in and of itself.
I mean, is it though?
Yeah. I'd actually argue maybe even more brave.
Holding a camera?
Staring in the face of danger.
Like some weirdo fanboy.
Hey, Freeman.
I-I wouldn't do that if I were you.
What, is your bestie gonna hit us with a wheelchair this time?
No, maybe not him but I have another best friend.
Who might hunt you down and destroy both of you.
- Okay, Freddy. - You may have heard of him.
Uh, uh, the Human Powerstorm.
Frequency Flinger, Sir-Zaps-A-Lot.
Yeah, he's a man of many names.
You know the Red Cyclone? You?
Huh. My ass, you do.
Oh, we're a lot closer than you think.
Maybe even at this very moment.
Prove it.
I will tomorrow. Tomorrow he's gonna come to lunch and...
R-Right, Billy?
Oh, yeah, and then Superman's
gonna be bringing us dessert, right?
Tomorrow, at lunch. You'll see.
And when he doesn't show, then
we'll kick your ass.
So wait, my identity's a secret
so no one I know can get hurt.
Except when it makes you look cool, then
then it's all good.
Billy, it's not like they're supervillains
they're just super douchebags.
So you're breaking your own rule?
Got it.
This thing is as much as mine as it is yours.
I'm starting to think you think it's all your thing.
Billy, you're still gonna do it, though, right?
I mean, what would a good brother do?
All hands on deck!
Thank you for this family. Thank you for this day.
Thank you for this food.
Sorry Billy's hand's on vacay.
Big news in Philly. They found a costumed hero.
He's doing good.
Yeah, but is he, though?
Oooh, controversy.
Into it.
Share with us your perspective, Eugene.
Just saying, he's what? Charging people's phones?
So what? I can charge a phone... with a plug.
Preach.
Pedro, any thoughts?
Costume's stupid?
Big white cape like, he's getting married or something.
What if he didn't get to pick his costume?
Ever think about that?
You're a specialist, Freddy. What do you think?
Yeah, Freddy, let's
manage to see the positive.
Okay, well, I think it looks like
he doesn't have gratitude for what he's been given.
Very specific. All right.
Maybe to this superhero,
gratitude doesn't mean having to be clingy.
"Clingy", wow, interesting take.
You know, maybe sometimes a superhero just
wants a little me time.
You know, me time can also be construed as
pushing away his family.
Family. Is that what they are now?
It's a classic symptom of superhero syndrome
coined by German psychologist
Heinrich de Von... German something, where
superpowers become an all-consuming narcotic.
Son, we're still eating dinner.
What he needs is a sidekick.
Name one cool sidekick.
Darla, why are you so quiet over there, baby?
You're never at a loss for words.
I'm eating.
Why am I still doing this?
Billy, you can't skip every day.
Not at your age.
I'm not your age anymore.
But I can go with you, we just gotta
trick the guard out, you know, and then...
Billy, where are you going?
You're still gonna have lunch with me, right?
Billy?
Sir-Zaps-A-Lot's still gonna eat in the cafeteria, right?
♪ Here we go now ♪
♪ Holla if ya hear me though ♪
♪ Come and feel me flow ♪
All right!
Did you check it?
People typically, like, give me a little money, you know, to...
You're a sweet couple, you guys have a good day.
Oh, my God.
Mary, Mary, are you okay?
How do you know my name?
Uh, how do I know your name, uh...
Uh, one of my superpowers is name-guessing.
Which is really weird, I bet.
Uh, it's not as cool as super strength or super speed
but it's really helpful when I meet new people.
Are you hurt?
No, I'm... I'm okay.
Thank you, um...
I just need a second to think.
This has been such a weird day.
Um, using my powers of super observation,
I see that you're holding a letter from a college
in your hand. Are you upset because you didn't get in?
I got in.
Uh... well, now my superpowers are failing me
and I'm very confused.
Yeah, me too.
I don't know. I know I should be excited 'cause this is my dream
and I worked really, really hard for this.
But it's like...
I don't know, leaving my family does not feel fun, you know?
Can I-Can I-Can I give you a little piece of advice?
Don't be worried about everybody else.
Always look out for number one.
- Gandhi said that. - I don't think he said that.
- Yeah, he did. - Gandhi did not say that.
- Somebody like Gandhi said that. - Take care of number one?
It was a really wi... It might have been Yoda.
- Listen. - I'm sorry, no.
Agree to disagree. The point is...
You do you, you know? You gotta look out for you.
And get as far away from this place as you can.
I don't know if I want to.
Of course you do. What are you gonna do?
You're gonna live in a group home for the rest of your life?
Look, families are for people who can't take care of themselves.
Okay? So.
And you know, y-you can take care of yourself, you know.
Also, look both ways when you cross the street.
I'll just call him.
It's ringing.
Red Cyclone! Hey! Hey, what's goin' on?
Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, it's Freddy, by the way.
Yeah, it's crazy. That is...
Great story.
He's not talking.
I was! I was!
We're friends. I know him. I do.
I know... I know...
Shit.
Come on, now.
♪ Hands. Lightning with my hands. ♪
♪ Lightning with my hands. ♪
Hey! Hey!
Hey, young man.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I'm in the middle of a show right now.
How can I help you?
I just wanna say thank you for showing up to lunch today.
Yeah, I got a little something called a suitcase wedgie, right?
I don't know if you've ever heard of it, but it's when
someone grabs your underwear like that
and hold you like a suitcase,
walks you down the hallway.
And this was my underwear.
Gross.
You said you'd come.
You said I will come, I never said I was...
I'm a superhero, dude.
Well, you're acting real heroic.
How much are people paying you today?
Listen, I have serious responsibilities now, okay?
But that's cool because I can carry that burden with my...
♪ hands. Lightning with my hands. ♪
Holy moley.
Don't move!
Nobody move!
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no. Stay, stay.
Stay. Stay. Stay.
Oh.
Oh, that looked like it hurts.
It's him!
It's the superhero guy!
Save us!
Come on.
Come...
What's he doing? What's going on?
What?
Oh, no. Oh, no, no. Please don't make me do this.
That is the worst idea ever!
Oho! Oh, I did it!
I did it!
I got the bus! I got the bus.
Nobody move in there!
I gotta put this thing down, I gotta put this thing down.
No, no, no, doggie, doggie, you have to move. Move!
Shoo! Shoo!
Please be a good dog. Good dog!
Ooh, you're being a bad dog.
Go! Go!
Please go. Please move.
Yes, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, no, no, my f...
I was in the neighborhood, you know, so I thought...
Thank you, thank you.
You know, it's kinda my fault, anyway.
So, it seems Philadelphia has gotten an early Christmas present
in the form of its very own superhero.
And we're out.
- Hey, thank you very much. - Oh, of course, yeah.
Dude! Dude, dude! Dude, did you see that?
Yeah, you electrocuted a bus and almost killed these people.
And then I caught it!
Freddy! I caught a bus with my bare hands, man!
I caught a bus like people catch fly balls, like...
Who does that? I do that.
Billy, you do nothing, you...
you take selfies and make people pay you.
You know what, forget it.
I can't really talk to you when you look like this.
You just wish it was you.
No shit.
You think?
I would kill to have what you have.
'Cause everything I do
is like, some-some desperate attempt
to get people to notice me.
To not feel sorry for me.
I mean, look at me. Look at me.
Do you even see me?
'Cause most people don't.
'Cause they don't want to.
And you don't either.
I mean, you think this is who you are?
I mean, Billy, you're 14.
And now you're no better than the Breyers.
All this power,
and all you did was turn into a showoff and a bully.
Whatever, kid.
I do what I want!
And I'm like mid-20s, probably.
Maybe even, like, 30.
Chosen one.
The so-called perfect man.
Pure of heart.
Flawless in every way.
What made you so worthy?
I'm sorry, can I help... can I help...?
D'you want a autograph or somethin'?
Give me your power.
Or die.
Oh, snap.
You're like a bad guy, right?
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Look, before this gets really stupid for you,
you should know that I'm basically invincible.
The weapons of man draw no blood from our kind.
This is the...
The only thing that extinguishes magic
is magic.
Time to transfer your power to me.
Oho, you did not see that one coming, did you, grandpa?
Them's street rules!
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I never should've punched you in the nuts like that.
That was totally my bad.
We can talk about this.
You grovel like a child.
That's because I am one. I-I'm a kid.
You don't want to hurt a kid, do you?
I believe I can fly!
I can fly!
Freddy said if I believe, I can fly!
Then I can fly, so I believe!
I believe, oh, please!
Okay! Superman!
Superman! What arm is it?!
Why am I not flying?!
Please, I don't wanna die!
Oh.
Whoa.
I'm floating!
I can fly!
Billy?
Freddy! I need your help!
You can fly?
Who's the other guy?
Santa!
So, like, what you and Mrs. Claus do in the summertime?
Well, in some ways,
Santa's always here for you.
Oh, help!
Help Santa!
Santa needs help!
Give us a shout if you need us.
I'm just gonna chill in here for a little while, if that's okay.
This is crazy!
This is crazy. You don't have to fight this guy.
This isn't your job. You can run, right?
Yes! You can run. Awesome.
Get back!
Just get... Get away!
I'm Batman. Get him, Batman!
Come on!
Sh... Shazam!
Billy!
Billy, where are you?
Billy!
Where are you, Billy?
Billy, come on!
Billy.
- Where is he? - Um, supervillain.
Supervillain! Supervillain!
Worse.
Much worse.
Radioactive anthromorph.
Psychic energy manipulator.
I won't let you read my mind.
My mind is blank. You can't get in.
I don't need to read your mind.
Because you are going to tell me.
Where is he?
Oh, my God, are you okay?
You okay?
What happened? Are you hurt?
Come inside.
We need to have a talk.
Just don't be too hard on him, okay?
Running out on us. Lying.
Then I get a call from the school
telling me you've been cutting class.
Getting in fights.
Whoa, is that...?
What's Freddy doing with a superhero?
What's this superhero doing with Freddy?
You remember dinner?
When Billy and Freddy were arguing
like an old married couple like this?
When he rescued me, he knew I lived in a group home.
He knew my name. He called me Mary.
Wait.
Are you saying Billy's the Human Powerstorm?
Yes! You guys figured it out!
All on your own. I didn't help.
I didn't break any promises.
You knew?
I'm a good sister!
I mean, what were you thinking?
Then you bring Freddy into it.
Give him some space, guys. He's a little upset. Okay?
Billy?
You're him.
You're the hero.
Yeah, well, not anymore, so.
Why do you have my notebook?
Eugene finished you search.
Look, I'm not a hacker, okay?
But I have played Watchdogs and Uplink.
And maybe I did pick up a few skills
which maybe did get me into federal databases
most people can't get into, but...
Good for you, but I'm gonna go.
Your parents' names are Marilyn and C.C. Batson.
What?
You were born in Zumbrota, Minnesota.
They divorced when you were three.
Your mom moved here that year.
20 months later, you got lost.
You never found them 'cause your dad's been in prison
in Florida for 10 years.
And your mom's...
What?
Is she dead?
She's two subway stops away.
What?
You know, you didn't find her
because she reverted to her maiden name.
Hey, Billy! Billy!
Victor, get the keys.
Kids, stay here, in case Billy comes back.
Get inside. Let's go.
Wait. I thought we were running after Billy?
No, we're gonna wait here for now.
Billy?
Freddy?
Oh, how quaint.
Actually, I take that back.
What a shithole.
Just a second.
Hey, look, I'm late for work already, all right?
We don't need any magazines or whatever.
Oh, I'm not.
You probably don't recognize me, but
I found my way home.
Mom.
It's me.
Oh, God.
Is it?
Um, hang on.
Who's at the door?
It's um...
It's no one, Travis.
That wasn't Dad, was it?
No, I...
Listen, it's um...
It's really you, huh?
I didn't mean to run away.
You know that, right?
I let go but it was by accident, I...
Yeah, I know, I know.
I saw you.
What?
I saw you after.
So, it was never your fault.
I was 17.
And my dad, he kicked me out.
And your dad just...
decided not to be a part of anything.
And I was hurting and I was screwed up.
I wanted the tiger.
I know, I know, honey, but
Mom's not exactly going pro here, okay?
Billy?
Billy!
Jesus Christ, Billy, this isn't funny!
Here you go, buddy.
But it's just once I saw you with the police,
I realized that
they could do a better job taking care of you than I ever will.
But you're good, right?
I mean you landed on your feet.
'Cause, I mean, you look real good.
It's just...
Now is not a really good time for me, Billy.
All I wanted to do was
let you know I'm doing good, but...
I have to get back to my real family, so.
Here.
What's this?
Marilyn! What's going on out there?
You might need it more than me.
Freddy, you were right. Sorry I yelled at you.
Come home, Billy.
Come home.
Billy! Supervillain! Supervillain!
Shazam!
Who are you? What do you want?
What do I want?
I want...
That.
Whoa.
Kick his ass, Billy!
Oh, God.
Yes, Billy.
Try it, by all means.
Let them go and I'll come inside.
Oh, first you come inside,
then maybe I'll let them go.
Good boy.
'Cause that's all you are, isn't it?
How old are you?
- Basically, 15. - Hmm.
When I was a child,
the old man told me I wasn't good enough.
And here you are,
a coward.
Run from me?
And that wizard chooses you. You're not a hero.
But I'm gonna give you the opportunity to be one.
Give me the power of a champion.
No, don't do it, Billy!
Give me the power
and I'll let them go.
Darla, no.
Don't, don't go, Billy!
Don't go! Don't go, Billy!
No, no, I-I have to, I have to, it's...
It's what a good brother would do, right?
Billy.
I dedicated my life to getting here.
I scoured the earth.
No one believed me.
No one helped.
Not the wizard.
Not my family.
I only had myself.
I get it.
I get what that's like.
Feeling like you're all alone in the world.
Stand.
Feeling like there's that one thing, if you could just find it.
Then you'd finally be good enough.
Stand.
The champion's name.
Say it.
Look, no offense, mister,
but I don't think these things have your best interest at heart.
Don't listen to this child.
Take the staff.
Hold it and say the champion's name.
They're using you.
You have to see that. That they are using you.
Say your name.
His name...
is Captain Sparklefingers.
And we're gonna keep throwing things
at your big, fat, ugly ass head
until you let our brother go.
Boy, am I glad I didn't sell that batarang.
Pedro, is that a lamp?
- It's an ugly one. - Come on, come on, come on.
Guys, I appreciate the thought, I really do.
But I don't think your weapons are gonna help.
You can put 'em down now.
The door was right here.
Billy, how do we get out of here?
What, you think I know? I don't know.
This way!
Go, go, go, go, go with Darla. Good job, Darla!
Go, go, go, go!
Kids?
Why is this open?
Freddy?
Mary?
Freddy, Freddy, keep up.
Darla, stay in front.
We gotta hurry.
- Whoa. - Whoa.
So many doors.
One of these has to be a way out, right?
Yeah, I would hope so.
Not this one.
Okay, no more doors.
Nobody open any more doors.
Come on, Billy, what are we gonna do?
Darla, I don't know.
Billy, yes, you do, just-just think.
How'd you get out last time?
Well, uh, l-last time I thought about the subway
and I was on the subway.
Then Billy, look, think about the subway.
Think about any place except for here, okay?
Come on, come on, come on.
Why are you covering my eyes?
Really? This is the first place you think of? Wow!
You're welcome.
Why can't I see what's inside?
You are not old enough.
Old enough to know that was great music.
Not my thing.
Where's Freddy?
Yeah, you too, Sriracha, hey,
have a holly, jolly Christmas.
Freddy, what are you doing?
Ah, it's nice people.
- Nice pe...? Come on. - Is that glitter?
They have glitter. Can I get glitter?
- No, not from them. - Please?
Go, go, go, go! Everybody go!
Freddy, Freddy, Freddy.
One, two, three, hold onto me.
Carnival. Go, go, go. Mary, go.
Go. Come on, Pedro.
Come on.
Walk, just be cool, act naturally,
like kids naturally act in a carnival.
- He's not gonna look for you... - Is that him?
Oh, my God, guys.
Hey, Powerboy.
He's an impersonator, okay?
I'm an impersonator. I'm a fake version of myself.
Don't take pictures...
Shazam!
Hey, where'd he go?
Oh, man, oh, man, I just spit on a baby!
Yo, what is that?
Champion!
You don't deserve that name.
Hiding behind innocent people who will now die.
Because deep down, you're still just a scared, little boy.
Oh, no.
Run!
- What do we do? What do we do? - Hold on!
- To what? - The bar, you idiot!
Well, you wanted me to be a hero.
Are you kidding?
Okay, no. Old guy's up there
harboring multiple spiritual entities,
plus, I mean, he has the same powers as you,
plus, you know, a-and he knows what he's doing,
plus, you're my best friend, I don't want you to die.
If a superhero can't save his family,
he's not much of a hero.
That was a decent catchphrase.
Shazam!
Now let's try this again.
Or try that again.
Billy, look out!
Laser eyes?
Guys, he's got laser eyes!
Too bad your aim sucks balls!
His power matrix.
His what what?
When the demon guys leave his eye, he loses his powers.
That's why the batarang hurt him.
Hey, over here!
W-What are you doing?
Trust me. Divide and conquer.
We separate the sins from the eye, and he's just an old man.
Gather the mutts.
Here, take it. Take it, it's for you.
Hold it tight.
Close your eyes.
Everything's gonna be okay. Okay?
Okay.
Get up.
Shazam!
Playtime's over, boy.
Your friends can't help you anymore.
Hey!
Shazam!
Nice trick.
Catchy.
One simple word.
I have a better trick.
Four words.
Kill the little girl.
- No, please! - No!
Stop!
Billy, there's one more demon guy in his eye!
You gotta just rip it out of his face...
It's where he gets his power.
Reach for it.
I dare you.
Wise decision.
Hands on the staff.
Billy, don't do this. Billy!
- Billy! - Don't do it, Billy!
Say my name
so my power may flow through you.
I open my heart to you, Billy Batson.
And in so doing,
choose you as champion.
With your heart, unlock your greatest power.
The thrones of our brothers and sisters await!
All hands on deck.
Say my name.
Billy!
No, not my name. No.
Say the name that I say to turn into this guy.
Shazam!
Guys.
What's happening?
I can fly!
Guys.
Check out these guns.
No.
It's not possible!
Gee whiz, mister. Sorry I took your game.
You want it back?
Guys, I don't believe in violence,
but I think we should kick this guy's butt, like, really hard.
Guys, I think I can move really
fast.
Hyperspeed!
Check!
Billy!
The eye.
Look out!
Whoa!
What?
You almost exploded me!
Dude, I've studied the fighting techniques
of every single superhero.
What do you got?
Well, that's terrifying.
Enough games, boy.
You think a pack of children can...
Wait, what?!
You will beg for mercy
as I feast on your heart.
Slow...
Are you making some big, evil guy
speech right now or something?
You're like, a mile away from me right now.
There's cars and trucks...
I will have the world eating out of the palm of my hand...
All I see is mouth moving. I don't hear any...
Only I
have the power to unleash...
Oh, whatever, screw it.
Oh, my gosh, those people!
Hi!
I caught you!
I got it!
Oh, my God, I do got it.
You're not gonna believe this,
but you're actually the first villain I've ever fought.
It's, like, kind of a huge deal for me.
Somebody help!
Hadouken!
Hi!
Wow, it's really you.
My name is Darla and I've been really good!
What?
Oh, crap.
No, no, no, no. No, no!
Oh, my God!
I'm giving you suitcase wedgies!
So this is about your Seven Deadly Sins, right?
I mean, I've never been great at math, but uh...
The big, angry one, that's Wrath, yeah?
And then Gluttony, obvi.
Pride.
Greed and Sloth, Lust, who
I thought was gonna be way hotter, if I'm being honest.
But that's only six. Where's... Where's lucky number seven?
Where's little man? Where's Envy?
Is he just scared of me and my family 'cause we're so awesome?
'Cause I get that.
Like, the other sins, they get to come out and fight
'cause they're big and strong and scary.
But Envy,
he's just a runt.
And that's why all the other sins
never invite him out to play, man.
'Cause they all know who'd win.
And it's not weak,
worthless, ugly
Envy.
No!
Gotcha.
Shazam!
Ready to go round up your buddies?
No.
No!
Here's the thing about power.
What good's power
if you got nobody to share it with?
- Nice. - Ta-da.
That's disgusting.
Fatality.
I got the voice.
What's that?
I can have anything I've ever wanted?
Billy, no.
No, no, no, no!
- You should hear yourself. - That's not funny.
What, you think I'm gonna put a demon ball in my head?
That's disgusting.
- It's not funny. - Pretty funny. You got me going.
Uh, guys, guys.
What?
Oh, hey.
Oh, wow.
- Oh. - Oh.
All right, we did it!
- Whoo! - All right! Yeah!
Thank you!
We did it!
Yeah, you guys are all safe. There's no more danger.
You sure this is gonna work?
Told ya.
You guys know what this place is, right?
A dark, haunted cave with demon statues.
Well, yes, but also...
Lair!
We got a lair!
Lair.
- Lair. - We got a lair.
What's a lair?
And thanks to six superheroes,
citizens are back in their homes
safe again with their families.
And here with an eyewitness account of the events...
It was f***ing crazy, man!
Creatures from f***ing hell!
Lightning coming out of everyone's f***ing everything.
And that is not f***ing cool, man!
I'm tired of it.
♪ This will be ♪
♪ An everlasting love ♪
Guys,
all hands on deck.
Oh!
W-W-W-Wait!
Wait.
Thank you for this food.
Thank you for this day.
Thank you for this family.
I thought maybe this time I'd stay.
I mean, after all,
I'm home.
Nope.
Okay.
What are you doin'?
Waiting for your imaginary BFF to show up?
What are you guys doing here?
Well, we're having lunch with you.
But you guys have different lunch periods.
Well, we made a very special arrangement.
Darla, what's going on?
Why are you asking me?
Freddy Freeman!
This guy...
taught me everything I know about being a dope superhero.
True story, you should get some pointers
from him. What's goin' on,
my best bud... in the whole world?
And also new kids that I'm meeting for the first time
but seem very cool?
Uh... huh,
I invited another friend, I hope that's okay.
Huh!
subs by enwansix