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Previously on Weeds...
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I'm gonna do that. With weed.
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Put it in a fancy box.
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Sell it for a lot of money.
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Hi. I'm Maxeen, the artist.
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We're polyamorous.
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And I don't want to leave her alone.
8
00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:21,310
Hey, Charles.
9
00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:24,240
If you're receiving this call,
that means two things.
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00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,827
One, I am dead.
And two,
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you're invited to my funeral.
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Wednesday, Edenwald Cemetery, 1 PM.
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You have done nothing but make
my life here thoroughly unpleasant.
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Picking on the weakest...
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That's why I do those things, feelings.
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- Roll up your window.
- What?
17
00:00:42,904 --> 00:00:44,714
Oh, my God. We're getting mugged
by Sarah Palin.
18
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We're being jacked.
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Fuck you!
20
00:00:48,534 --> 00:00:49,781
You okay?
21
00:00:50,721 --> 00:00:53,126
You said you wanted to teach Silas
a lesson.
22
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- You didn't.
- My boys did.
23
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You need to send it all back.
24
00:00:56,451 --> 00:00:59,051
Silas was never involved
in the Pouncy House.
25
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His mother just wanted the competition gone
and you did that for her.
26
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That's our database.
27
00:01:04,032 --> 00:01:05,981
You and mom can go fuck yourselves.
28
00:01:06,101 --> 00:01:10,826
Nancy only cares about her business
and herself. And one other thing.
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How's my baby boy?
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I'm glad you called.
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You're doing the right thing, by the way.
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Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Hey, Nance. See you got my text.
34
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I'm just emailing myself
a few files.
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00:01:52,848 --> 00:01:54,144
I'm loving your new office.
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Mom sent armed hitmen to jack my weed.
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Silas, she's your mother.
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My mother --
my mother...
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will not let me be
my own person.
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Why do you need her permission
for that?
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Because! She --
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No, I don't.
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I don't need
her permission. But...
44
00:02:16,081 --> 00:02:18,715
She...
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00:02:18,749 --> 00:02:20,717
Um...
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You fucked up.
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Fuck!
I fucked up.
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Okay, deep breaths.
49
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Look...
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Jill's a vaguely reasonable
adult, right?
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I'm sure she and Nancy
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00:02:32,895 --> 00:02:35,196
can come to a vaguely
peaceful understanding.
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Talk it out, you know?
Like sisters.
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No fucking way!
Go fuck yourself!
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Take off my fucking shoes!
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You look ridiculous.
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Lumbering ass.
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You lumber!
And you're an ass!
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Well, you can kiss my ass,
drug dealer.
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Sign the fucking custody papers
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so I can go to
that High Line Park
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and watch people screw
in the hotel windows.
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That's pathetic!
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Yeah, maybe, a little.
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But the point is,
I win, you lose,
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thanks to your angry offspring.
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Oh, I like the little green
boxes, by the way.
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That's a nice touch.
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Thanks.
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Oh, I ordered deli.
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I mean, you can't not
when you're in New York, right?
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Oh, by all means, eat up.
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At least that way I know
my dresses are safe.
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Leaving your doors open
in the big, bad city.
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Aren't we feeling all safe
and secure.
76
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Are we being
home-invasion robbed?
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Who the fuck are you?
I'm her sister.
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Should have known by the shoes.
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They're mine.
I'm keeping them.
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No, you're not!
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Where the fuck are my drugs?
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Holy shit.
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You got it all back.
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The fuck I did.
Uh, wait a minute.
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You were supposed to
get them all back.
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Can you please...
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Just tell him to stop waving
that thing in my face?
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Maybe aim
at the stomach, Pierre,
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so she goes slow.
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"Pierre."
Seriously?
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My mama's a francophile, bitch.
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Bonjour.
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You know why she's here?
94
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She's blackmailing me
to get custody of my son!
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Nancy Botwin,
I don't give a shit
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00:04:02,482 --> 00:04:04,883
about your drama no more.
97
00:04:04,918 --> 00:04:06,718
Get my drugs.
98
00:04:06,753 --> 00:04:09,554
Bring them to the hospital
by 5:00 tonight,
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or I will hunt you down
and kill you.
100
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And I won't look back.
101
00:04:15,427 --> 00:04:17,329
You know I'm good for it.
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I had no idea
your life was this exciting.
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I feel sick. Fuck.
104
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I didn't think this through.
105
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Well, well...
106
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Well, that's what we do.
We fuck up.
107
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Then we try to fix it.
Then we fuck up some more.
108
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And we do it the most
with our family,
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'cause that's the safest place
to practice.
110
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But that's the shit
that makes you a man.
111
00:04:46,195 --> 00:04:47,495
That and your haftorah.
112
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So, I...don't know
what I'm gonna do.
113
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What am I supposed to do?
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Want to go to a funeral
with me?
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Where are we going?
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Queens.
117
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The drugs are in Queens?
118
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Will you shut up?
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You want me out of your hair,
you know what to do.
120
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And you're gonna do it
one way or another.
121
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I'm not bullshitting.
I took photos.
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That angry black lady --
she'll testify for me.
123
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She hates your ass.
124
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Pierre's on my side, too.
I can feel it.
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If you don't sign,
I will send you back to jail.
126
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So, then I'll get
custody anyway.
127
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That's exactly what you want.
128
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Another 14 years of motherhood
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so you can have an extension
on your lame excuse
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for not living.
131
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I happen to like my life.
Thank you.
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I mean, I might not have
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black people
barging into my house
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and holding me at gunpoint
every day...
135
00:05:48,726 --> 00:05:50,993
I'll bet you don't even know
a black person.
136
00:05:51,027 --> 00:05:53,129
Oh, and you can really count
on those two
137
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as being your friends.
138
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You're a coward.
139
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You've always been a coward.
140
00:06:00,270 --> 00:06:03,172
Cowards have a funny way
of being awarded custody.
141
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Hold my hand.
142
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Hold my hand.
You know I hate the dark.
143
00:06:09,213 --> 00:06:11,047
Okay.
Talk to me. Talk to me.
144
00:06:11,081 --> 00:06:12,849
Uh, this is the part
where the lights go out,
145
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and then they come back on,
146
00:06:14,819 --> 00:06:18,155
and we'll still be ourselves,
but we've switched bodies.
147
00:06:18,190 --> 00:06:21,826
Ha ha ha.
Freaky Wednesday.
148
00:06:21,861 --> 00:06:23,662
Yeah.
149
00:06:23,696 --> 00:06:25,764
Clearly, you would have been
the big winner here.
150
00:06:25,798 --> 00:06:27,366
Fuck you, bug eyes.
151
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,901
Fuck you, mustache.
152
00:06:33,573 --> 00:06:35,708
Vehement Capital.
Please hold.
153
00:06:37,177 --> 00:06:38,811
Whit,
what the hell's going on?
154
00:06:38,845 --> 00:06:41,713
Doug, check your fly.
155
00:06:43,649 --> 00:06:45,483
You didn't answer your phone.
156
00:06:45,518 --> 00:06:47,452
A Deutsche exec vacationing
in Bali
157
00:06:47,487 --> 00:06:48,987
bumped into Foster Klein.
158
00:06:49,021 --> 00:06:50,989
Literally.
159
00:06:51,023 --> 00:06:52,657
Klein was drunk and slurring
160
00:06:52,691 --> 00:06:54,392
and talking about
his "fuck you" money.
161
00:06:54,427 --> 00:06:57,295
Now word on the street is that
Vehement must be toxic.
162
00:06:57,330 --> 00:07:00,298
What asshole disappears
on a tourist island?
163
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:02,100
We got to reach out
to our investors,
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00:07:02,134 --> 00:07:03,635
restore their confidence.
165
00:07:03,669 --> 00:07:05,103
Or else we're looking
at a massive sell-off.
166
00:07:05,138 --> 00:07:07,606
I mean, I'm talking
about fire sale.
167
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:08,774
End of days.
168
00:07:08,808 --> 00:07:10,575
We got to put something
out there.
169
00:07:10,610 --> 00:07:12,578
Something big,
something beautiful
170
00:07:12,612 --> 00:07:14,779
before the Journal
nails our ankles
171
00:07:14,814 --> 00:07:16,582
to a couple of Jesus sticks.
172
00:07:16,616 --> 00:07:19,384
Jolene, can I have a word
with you in my office?
173
00:07:23,889 --> 00:07:26,758
All right, Chicken Littles!
Listen up!
174
00:07:28,494 --> 00:07:30,462
Now, I know you've all heard
some rumors.
175
00:07:30,496 --> 00:07:33,164
Rest assured, you got nothing
to worry about.
176
00:07:33,198 --> 00:07:35,833
People, listen,
we are all over this.
177
00:07:35,867 --> 00:07:38,336
Okay? So get back to work.
Come on.
178
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:39,937
Bring in the money!
179
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,509
You shut up.
180
00:07:44,543 --> 00:07:46,044
Stay the fuck out of the way.
181
00:07:46,078 --> 00:07:47,679
I swear to God, I'll have them
182
00:07:47,713 --> 00:07:48,747
stuff a grenade up your ass
and pull the pin.
183
00:07:48,781 --> 00:07:50,515
Is he cute?
Totally.
184
00:07:50,549 --> 00:07:52,350
He has the biggest...
185
00:07:52,385 --> 00:07:53,819
That's not him, though.
Hi.
186
00:07:53,853 --> 00:07:55,654
Is Demetri here?
187
00:07:55,689 --> 00:07:56,889
Demetri?
188
00:07:56,923 --> 00:07:59,125
Demetri!
189
00:07:59,159 --> 00:08:02,228
Uh...Where is he?
190
00:08:02,262 --> 00:08:03,296
Where's all the stuff?
191
00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:05,899
He's in the...brig.
192
00:08:08,436 --> 00:08:12,139
What happened?
Seriously?
193
00:08:12,174 --> 00:08:14,575
Oh, you're the assholes
who jacked the pot.
194
00:08:14,609 --> 00:08:17,044
She called you an asshole.
Asshole!
195
00:08:20,515 --> 00:08:22,983
Um...
Aah.
196
00:08:24,552 --> 00:08:26,086
Look, I really hate
to interrupt
197
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:27,220
your little
hookah dinner party,
198
00:08:27,255 --> 00:08:29,022
but I really just
need to grab my pot...
199
00:08:29,056 --> 00:08:30,190
and go.
200
00:08:30,224 --> 00:08:31,825
So, if you'll just tell me
where it is,
201
00:08:31,859 --> 00:08:33,259
I'll get it
and I'll get out of your hair.
202
00:08:33,294 --> 00:08:34,561
Do her.
Don't do her.
203
00:08:34,595 --> 00:08:35,729
Oh, yeah.
204
00:08:42,102 --> 00:08:44,336
Do her.
Don't do her.
205
00:08:44,370 --> 00:08:47,439
Oh, no.
I lost the rape contest.
206
00:08:47,473 --> 00:08:50,941
Do her...
207
00:08:50,976 --> 00:08:52,576
Don't do her.
208
00:08:52,611 --> 00:08:56,080
No. No, no, no, no.
209
00:08:56,114 --> 00:08:59,417
Do her...
210
00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:00,852
Do her.
211
00:09:00,886 --> 00:09:01,853
Yeah!
212
00:09:03,823 --> 00:09:06,624
That's good.
213
00:09:17,170 --> 00:09:19,204
She's never gonna forgive me.
214
00:09:19,239 --> 00:09:22,308
First things first,
you need to apologize.
215
00:09:22,342 --> 00:09:24,811
The good lord and creator
made us fallible creatures.
216
00:09:24,845 --> 00:09:26,413
And who knows?
Maybe it'll all be fine.
217
00:09:26,447 --> 00:09:27,681
Maybe she won't lose Stevie.
218
00:09:27,715 --> 00:09:29,082
She'll probably lose Stevie.
219
00:09:29,117 --> 00:09:31,418
But she'd kill Jill first.
220
00:09:31,452 --> 00:09:33,920
Maybe she'd have Shane do it.
221
00:09:33,955 --> 00:09:35,756
Actually, it's good we're here.
222
00:09:35,790 --> 00:09:38,058
This is a good alibi.
Make sure people see us.
223
00:09:40,361 --> 00:09:42,996
Death, yes.
I get it.
224
00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:44,531
Bravo.
225
00:09:50,604 --> 00:09:52,772
Today we are gathered
226
00:09:52,806 --> 00:09:56,342
to celebrate the life
of Charles Van Der Elst.
227
00:09:56,377 --> 00:09:57,977
Our delight.
228
00:09:58,011 --> 00:10:00,812
Wait. What if I dig up dirt
on aunt Jill?
229
00:10:00,847 --> 00:10:02,247
Then it'd be a fair fight.
230
00:10:02,281 --> 00:10:03,948
Unless Jill's
a heroin smuggler,
231
00:10:03,982 --> 00:10:05,816
it's never gonna be
a fair fight.
232
00:10:05,851 --> 00:10:08,952
Maybe I should leave town.
233
00:10:08,987 --> 00:10:13,490
...Humble, devoted to family
and home.
234
00:10:13,524 --> 00:10:15,992
Oh, that's her.
But he was a man
235
00:10:16,027 --> 00:10:18,462
devoted to higher
social beliefs.
236
00:10:18,496 --> 00:10:19,663
Who?
237
00:10:19,697 --> 00:10:20,997
Maxeen!
238
00:10:21,032 --> 00:10:22,799
Of course she's up there
239
00:10:22,834 --> 00:10:26,002
dancing some surrealist
masked death dance.
240
00:10:26,037 --> 00:10:29,473
Huh.
She's put on a little weight.
241
00:10:29,507 --> 00:10:30,807
She's pregnant.
242
00:10:30,842 --> 00:10:31,976
What?
243
00:10:32,010 --> 00:10:33,677
Some guy named Lanny.
244
00:10:33,712 --> 00:10:36,847
They're raising the kid
with Charles' daughter,
245
00:10:36,881 --> 00:10:40,384
the daughter's lover,
and their adopted African child.
246
00:10:40,418 --> 00:10:43,621
That is delightfully
unconventional.
247
00:10:43,655 --> 00:10:45,723
Hey.
It's a family, right?
248
00:10:45,757 --> 00:10:48,292
Yes, it is.
249
00:10:48,326 --> 00:10:50,828
H-how exactly do you know
all this?
250
00:10:50,862 --> 00:10:52,129
I'm her therapist.
251
00:10:52,163 --> 00:10:54,364
...A lean man, strong.
252
00:10:54,399 --> 00:10:56,233
Is she the one that got away?
253
00:10:56,267 --> 00:10:57,735
Mnh-mnh.
254
00:10:57,769 --> 00:10:59,737
...A man in harmony
with his beliefs.
255
00:10:59,771 --> 00:11:00,938
Charles was.
256
00:11:00,972 --> 00:11:03,406
He had it figured out.
257
00:11:03,441 --> 00:11:05,375
The only thing
that was important to him
258
00:11:05,410 --> 00:11:07,578
was the happiness
of the people he loved.
259
00:11:07,613 --> 00:11:10,481
And he had a mini fridge
right by the bed.
260
00:11:10,516 --> 00:11:11,916
Man was a visionary.
261
00:11:11,950 --> 00:11:13,685
Or a possible diabetic.
262
00:11:13,719 --> 00:11:15,654
I prefer to believe visionary.
263
00:11:15,688 --> 00:11:17,889
Sounds a lot like you.
264
00:11:17,924 --> 00:11:20,560
My blood sugar's --
Oh, I see what you mean, yeah.
265
00:11:20,594 --> 00:11:22,062
Well...
266
00:11:22,096 --> 00:11:24,564
A lot of good it's doing me.
267
00:11:24,599 --> 00:11:27,401
'Cause my family's --
our family's...
268
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:31,072
Breaking apart.
269
00:11:31,106 --> 00:11:35,643
...For he was deeply tanned.
270
00:11:35,678 --> 00:11:37,112
I would not do you.
271
00:11:37,146 --> 00:11:38,379
Okay.
272
00:11:38,414 --> 00:11:41,850
I would not do you.
273
00:11:41,884 --> 00:11:44,586
I would definitely...
274
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:45,920
not do you.
275
00:11:45,954 --> 00:11:47,354
This game sucks.
276
00:11:47,389 --> 00:11:48,890
You know what else sucks,
277
00:11:48,924 --> 00:11:50,158
is that you told me
he'd be back at 5:00,
278
00:11:50,192 --> 00:11:51,592
and I'm still waiting.
279
00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:53,728
5 to 10.
Okay. I'll keep waiting.
280
00:11:53,762 --> 00:11:55,329
Years.
He got busted.
281
00:11:55,363 --> 00:11:57,932
Stealing, like,
cases of lobster tails.
282
00:11:57,966 --> 00:11:59,701
Did they take the weed?
283
00:11:59,735 --> 00:12:03,537
Does it look like
they took the weed?!
284
00:12:03,572 --> 00:12:05,472
He asked us to clear out
the apartment
285
00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:07,107
in case the place got searched.
286
00:12:07,142 --> 00:12:10,277
Okay, fine,
um...could you...
287
00:12:10,311 --> 00:12:12,779
Give me the weed, and then
I'll clear that out for you?
288
00:12:12,813 --> 00:12:14,381
Nah, that's not gonna work.
289
00:12:14,415 --> 00:12:15,982
'Cause we're still smoking it.
290
00:12:16,017 --> 00:12:17,317
And we don't know
who the fuck you are.
291
00:12:17,351 --> 00:12:18,752
And we still want to do you.
292
00:12:18,786 --> 00:12:20,120
Which one?
293
00:12:20,154 --> 00:12:22,556
It's my weed!
He had you jack it for me.
294
00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:25,058
He told us to jack it
for his partner.
295
00:12:25,093 --> 00:12:26,627
That's me.
I'm his partner.
296
00:12:26,661 --> 00:12:28,929
You're a girl.
She could be a girl cop.
297
00:12:28,963 --> 00:12:30,431
Girl cops only give tickets.
298
00:12:30,465 --> 00:12:31,532
Charlie's Angels were girl cops.
299
00:12:31,566 --> 00:12:33,100
No.
They were detectives.
300
00:12:33,134 --> 00:12:34,601
The guy talking to them
from the box was a cop.
301
00:12:34,636 --> 00:12:36,537
All right.
All right, look.
302
00:12:36,571 --> 00:12:38,439
Girls cops, I'm sorry, we're
still gonna have to fuck you up.
303
00:12:38,473 --> 00:12:40,941
Barry, get the nunchucks.
304
00:12:40,976 --> 00:12:42,743
You guys have no idea
who you're dealing with.
305
00:12:42,777 --> 00:12:45,045
My sister is married
to the king
306
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,914
of a Mexican crime gang.
307
00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:50,651
She was in jail!
308
00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:53,354
She's killed [scoffs] what?
How many men, Nance?
309
00:12:53,388 --> 00:12:54,888
Jill, shut the fuck up.
310
00:12:54,923 --> 00:12:56,390
They don't believe me.
311
00:12:56,425 --> 00:12:58,592
Show them your trashy
jail tattoo.
312
00:12:58,627 --> 00:12:59,760
Ow. Quit it!
313
00:12:59,794 --> 00:13:01,562
That doesn't look Mexican.
314
00:13:01,596 --> 00:13:03,998
No, that looks like the one
on that chick from the video.
315
00:13:04,032 --> 00:13:06,033
Video?
Video?
316
00:13:06,068 --> 00:13:08,536
Holy shit.
She's the chick from the video.
317
00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:11,672
The one with the traffic-sign
thing on her ass, too, right?
318
00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:13,474
That son of a bitch.
319
00:13:13,509 --> 00:13:15,476
Another quality choice
of lover, Nance.
320
00:13:15,511 --> 00:13:17,579
Do you guys have that video,
by the way?
321
00:13:17,613 --> 00:13:20,382
Sorry we didn't believe you.
We couldn't see your face.
322
00:13:20,416 --> 00:13:22,184
I could have swore
you were Chinese.
323
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:24,152
All dark hair and skinny.
324
00:13:24,187 --> 00:13:25,888
Yeah.
Can I have my pot now?
325
00:13:25,922 --> 00:13:27,622
If you are who you say you are,
326
00:13:27,657 --> 00:13:30,158
we would...need to see your ass.
327
00:13:30,193 --> 00:13:31,493
Mm-hmm.
328
00:13:31,527 --> 00:13:33,828
To be sure.
Yep.
329
00:13:36,365 --> 00:13:37,599
Oh.
330
00:13:39,602 --> 00:13:41,702
All class.
331
00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:42,970
There it is.
332
00:13:43,005 --> 00:13:44,471
Oh, definitely do her.
333
00:13:44,506 --> 00:13:46,840
Can I have my pot now, please?
334
00:13:46,874 --> 00:13:48,641
It's right behind you
in the gorilla.
335
00:13:56,050 --> 00:13:57,350
God bless you.
336
00:13:57,385 --> 00:13:58,852
What is that stench?
337
00:13:58,886 --> 00:14:02,356
It's Drakkar Noir.
It's to cover the smell.
338
00:14:02,390 --> 00:14:05,527
Oh, it's giving me flashbacks
to seventh grade.
339
00:14:05,561 --> 00:14:08,897
Jeremy Black...
played with my nipples...
340
00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:11,333
in Ilyse Horowitz's closet.
341
00:14:11,368 --> 00:14:13,369
I am so stoned.
342
00:14:22,012 --> 00:14:24,647
You're still keeping up
appearances, huh, Botwin?
343
00:14:24,682 --> 00:14:27,717
"Dostoevsky and the Principles
of Criminal Liability."
344
00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:32,755
You look like shit.
Do I?
345
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,524
Yeah, I had a pretty rough
night. I couldn't sleep.
346
00:14:35,558 --> 00:14:37,627
A lot of dark thoughts
clawing at me.
347
00:14:37,661 --> 00:14:41,063
One point, I got up
and starting beating the shit
348
00:14:41,098 --> 00:14:42,432
out of a radiator.
349
00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:44,901
But that didn't work
really good.
350
00:14:44,935 --> 00:14:46,436
Misplaced aggression.
351
00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:48,471
Well, what...happened?
352
00:14:48,506 --> 00:14:51,174
Was it about Billy?
Billy?
353
00:14:51,209 --> 00:14:56,813
You know, that was a brilliant
fucking move on your part,
354
00:14:56,847 --> 00:14:58,948
softening me up like that,
355
00:14:58,983 --> 00:15:00,617
using my own son
to distract me.
356
00:15:00,651 --> 00:15:02,252
Which worked...
357
00:15:02,286 --> 00:15:05,455
long enough for him to let me
know how much of an asshole
358
00:15:05,489 --> 00:15:06,756
he thinks that I am.
359
00:15:06,790 --> 00:15:10,526
I know what you did, kid.
360
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,095
You sat in my office
for six weeks
361
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:16,899
and acted like some
fucking eager protégée,
362
00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:18,500
gaining my trust,
363
00:15:18,535 --> 00:15:21,703
letting me feel that there was
still a glint of hope
364
00:15:21,737 --> 00:15:23,538
in this godforsaken,
cynical fucking planet.
365
00:15:23,573 --> 00:15:26,208
But then...then,
366
00:15:26,242 --> 00:15:30,379
you and your middle-class,
petty-criminal fucking mother
367
00:15:30,413 --> 00:15:35,016
pull a one-two punch
of such brilliant theatrics,
368
00:15:35,051 --> 00:15:38,152
such heights of
Shakespearean duplicity
369
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:41,022
that I go and take down
370
00:15:41,056 --> 00:15:44,258
a fucking low-level bunch
of college grads
371
00:15:44,292 --> 00:15:48,228
so you can protect your family's
fucking pot business!
372
00:15:49,797 --> 00:15:50,797
Hi.
373
00:15:50,831 --> 00:15:52,131
What the fuck do you want?!
374
00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:53,433
My paper --
375
00:15:53,468 --> 00:15:55,669
Get the fuck out of here!
Fucking asshole.
376
00:15:55,703 --> 00:15:58,238
I'm sorry.
377
00:15:58,272 --> 00:16:02,142
You're not sorry.
That's the problem.
378
00:16:02,177 --> 00:16:05,312
You got some internal valve
inside you, kid,
379
00:16:05,347 --> 00:16:06,815
and it's turned off.
380
00:16:06,849 --> 00:16:10,152
You're not sorry.
You're smug.
381
00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:12,154
Entitled.
382
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:14,522
You feel like
you're above the laws
383
00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,558
of human functioning society.
384
00:16:16,592 --> 00:16:18,459
Pouncy House was going down
anyway, right?
385
00:16:18,493 --> 00:16:20,294
We just expedited the process.
386
00:16:20,328 --> 00:16:25,199
You want to be some
fuckwit criminal, be my guest.
387
00:16:25,233 --> 00:16:27,233
But know this.
388
00:16:27,268 --> 00:16:30,636
I'm gonna make your life
a living hell.
389
00:16:30,671 --> 00:16:32,805
You and that equally smug,
390
00:16:32,839 --> 00:16:35,775
entitled fuckwit
mother of yours.
391
00:16:35,810 --> 00:16:36,776
She's not a fuckwit.
392
00:16:36,810 --> 00:16:38,244
She's a drug dealer!
393
00:16:38,278 --> 00:16:40,380
Who used the New York City
Police Department
394
00:16:40,414 --> 00:16:42,082
for her own personal muscle!
395
00:16:42,116 --> 00:16:43,950
It was my idea -- the bust --
not hers.
396
00:16:43,985 --> 00:16:46,186
Stop trying to protect her.
397
00:16:46,221 --> 00:16:48,456
Why don't you just
tell me what I can do,
398
00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:49,590
and I'll do it.
399
00:16:49,624 --> 00:16:52,760
No.
400
00:16:52,795 --> 00:16:54,762
You're done.
401
00:16:54,797 --> 00:16:57,365
I'm gonna march down
to that drug den
402
00:16:57,399 --> 00:16:59,367
you call a home,
403
00:16:59,401 --> 00:17:02,036
and I'm gonna slap cuffs
on Lady Botwin,
404
00:17:02,070 --> 00:17:04,037
so help me God.
405
00:17:04,072 --> 00:17:06,773
Wait! Wait, I can give you
something you want! Wait!!
406
00:17:06,807 --> 00:17:09,108
You got something I want?
407
00:17:09,143 --> 00:17:12,044
What the fuck do you have
that I want?
408
00:17:12,078 --> 00:17:15,514
You tell me what the fuck
you have that I want.
409
00:17:18,351 --> 00:17:21,753
It's a pancho.
And...
410
00:17:21,788 --> 00:17:25,056
So, I hope all of this
makes up for the missing ounce.
411
00:17:25,091 --> 00:17:26,958
I'll also send you money
in the mail.
412
00:17:26,993 --> 00:17:29,160
And your car is being fixed
right now.
413
00:17:29,195 --> 00:17:31,630
And, Dean, I'm so sorry.
414
00:17:31,664 --> 00:17:33,431
It's okay.
415
00:17:33,466 --> 00:17:35,333
Just a few broken ribs...
416
00:17:35,368 --> 00:17:38,003
A slight concussion,
and some internal bleeding.
417
00:17:38,037 --> 00:17:39,772
While they were in there,
418
00:17:39,806 --> 00:17:41,741
they found a mass
behind my pancreas,
419
00:17:41,775 --> 00:17:43,242
which they think is benign.
420
00:17:43,277 --> 00:17:44,444
Fingers crossed.
421
00:17:46,313 --> 00:17:47,814
What is that smell?
422
00:17:47,848 --> 00:17:50,850
Drakkar Noir.
423
00:17:50,885 --> 00:17:53,186
Get out.
424
00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:56,122
Heylia, it was all
a big misunderstanding.
425
00:17:56,156 --> 00:17:58,791
None of it was Silas' fault.
Please don't cut him off.
426
00:17:58,825 --> 00:18:01,861
I learned that you and your son
are one and the same.
427
00:18:01,895 --> 00:18:04,497
And I want nothing to do
with either of you.
428
00:18:04,532 --> 00:18:06,399
No. No, not anymore.
He's on his own.
429
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:09,435
He's responsible for making
his own decisions,
430
00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:11,704
and he...he needs you.
431
00:18:11,738 --> 00:18:16,008
What he needs is to get out
of this damn, stank-ass city.
432
00:18:16,043 --> 00:18:19,445
Ain't a boy on this planet
that don't need something green.
433
00:18:19,479 --> 00:18:22,114
You should have seen him
working that field.
434
00:18:22,148 --> 00:18:25,150
The smile on his face...
435
00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:30,088
...was something you'll
probably never see again.
436
00:18:34,227 --> 00:18:35,895
We're having
our best year ever.
437
00:18:35,929 --> 00:18:37,596
And you're vouching for this?
438
00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:39,197
S.E.C. has looked
at the books.
439
00:18:39,232 --> 00:18:40,532
Vehement is solid.
440
00:18:40,566 --> 00:18:42,133
Record profits.
441
00:18:42,168 --> 00:18:44,302
Widening portfolios.
442
00:18:44,337 --> 00:18:46,471
And we got the thumbs up
from the S.E.C.
443
00:18:46,505 --> 00:18:48,039
What more do you want?
444
00:18:48,074 --> 00:18:50,008
All right, guys.
We'll get the word out.
445
00:18:50,042 --> 00:18:51,643
It should be in print tomorrow,
446
00:18:51,677 --> 00:18:53,478
online tonight.
Thank you, Wally.
447
00:18:53,512 --> 00:18:55,847
Bye, now.
448
00:18:55,881 --> 00:18:59,317
You keep this fucking ship
afloat, Jolene.
449
00:18:59,352 --> 00:19:01,119
I'm not a favor machine.
450
00:19:01,153 --> 00:19:02,920
Next time, think of something
451
00:19:02,955 --> 00:19:04,456
that doesn't involve me
sucking Journal cock.
452
00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:06,758
Won't happen again.
Thanks, boss.
453
00:19:09,696 --> 00:19:11,697
Let's go celebrate.
454
00:19:11,732 --> 00:19:14,000
There's a craft fair
at the Javits Center.
455
00:19:14,034 --> 00:19:15,835
We could grab dinner
afterwards.
456
00:19:17,405 --> 00:19:19,572
Well, whit and I were gonna
go hit some titty bars.
457
00:19:19,606 --> 00:19:21,174
But you go do your craft thing.
458
00:19:21,208 --> 00:19:22,275
Buy me a wool cap
if you see one.
459
00:19:22,309 --> 00:19:23,376
For when it gets cold.
460
00:19:23,410 --> 00:19:26,045
Nothing scratchy.
Cashmere.
461
00:19:26,079 --> 00:19:28,380
Something fit for a CFO.
462
00:19:28,414 --> 00:19:29,915
CFO?
463
00:19:29,949 --> 00:19:31,416
That's a promotion, right?
464
00:19:31,451 --> 00:19:32,617
Damn right.
465
00:19:32,652 --> 00:19:35,220
You are gonna have
so much money.
466
00:19:35,254 --> 00:19:37,723
Come here.
467
00:19:37,758 --> 00:19:39,726
Wait. Hold on.
468
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,227
Slow down, you guys.
469
00:19:41,262 --> 00:19:44,097
Now, this article
bought you a few weeks.
470
00:19:44,131 --> 00:19:45,933
A month, tops.
471
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:48,736
But eventually, someone
in this firm is going to have to admit
472
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,672
to certain improprieties.
473
00:19:50,706 --> 00:19:53,107
And they're going to
have to take the fall.
474
00:19:53,142 --> 00:19:54,608
Rick.
475
00:19:54,643 --> 00:19:55,743
Rick.
476
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:58,112
Sorry.
He's not top brass.
477
00:19:58,146 --> 00:20:00,715
It's going to have to be
one of you two.
478
00:20:00,749 --> 00:20:03,917
I'll let you know.
479
00:20:09,824 --> 00:20:12,959
Got to say -- great day.
Full of excitement.
480
00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,761
Much better than the high line.
481
00:20:14,795 --> 00:20:16,263
Do you think I should get
half-price tickets
482
00:20:16,297 --> 00:20:17,698
to "Book of Mormon"?
483
00:20:17,732 --> 00:20:20,034
I'm still smelling
Drakkar Noir everywhere.
484
00:20:20,068 --> 00:20:21,469
Is that what you took away
from today?
485
00:20:21,503 --> 00:20:22,604
Really? Excitement?
486
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:24,105
Uh, we were held at gunpoint,
487
00:20:24,139 --> 00:20:25,807
my son betrayed me,
we were almost gang-raped.
488
00:20:25,841 --> 00:20:27,275
Really?
That's exciting to you?
489
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:28,276
Fuck, yes.
490
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,844
If I were home right now,
491
00:20:29,878 --> 00:20:31,513
I'd be scrubbing out
the inside of a microwave.
492
00:20:31,547 --> 00:20:32,947
All I ever hear from you,
how much you hate your life,
493
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:36,384
how awful it is
to clean mud out of cleats,
494
00:20:36,419 --> 00:20:38,487
how terrible it is to stay
in a marriage
495
00:20:38,521 --> 00:20:40,022
for the sake of the children.
496
00:20:40,056 --> 00:20:41,356
What kids have done
to your tits,
497
00:20:41,391 --> 00:20:42,591
your life, your libido,
your freedom.
498
00:20:42,626 --> 00:20:44,093
Why do you want
my little albatross
499
00:20:44,127 --> 00:20:46,395
adding to the crushing weight
of it?
500
00:20:46,429 --> 00:20:47,629
Because I love him.
501
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,564
Really?
Yeah.
502
00:20:49,598 --> 00:20:52,667
- Really? - I've been raising him
since he was 10 months old.
503
00:20:52,701 --> 00:20:55,003
I have fed him
and bathed his balls
504
00:20:55,037 --> 00:20:58,105
and read him Boynton books
until my eyes have bled.
505
00:20:58,140 --> 00:21:00,342
You birthed him,
but I'm his mom.
506
00:21:00,376 --> 00:21:01,910
And he's happy.
507
00:21:01,944 --> 00:21:03,678
And while I admit I derive
pleasure from torturing you
508
00:21:03,713 --> 00:21:05,380
because you fucking deserve it
509
00:21:05,414 --> 00:21:07,148
and I have been cleaning up
your messes
510
00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:09,250
and doing your caretaking
for fucking ever,
511
00:21:09,285 --> 00:21:11,920
the truth is,
at the bottom of all this shit,
512
00:21:11,954 --> 00:21:14,089
is Stevie is better off.
513
00:21:14,123 --> 00:21:16,424
And you knew that, and that's
why you sent him to me.
514
00:21:16,459 --> 00:21:17,959
He's better off with you?
515
00:21:17,993 --> 00:21:20,295
A miserable woman
who hates her life?
516
00:21:20,329 --> 00:21:22,664
You made him cry
with that Waldorf bullshit.
517
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:26,335
Your daughters are freaky!
You sleep half the day!
518
00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:28,137
He's better off with you?!
519
00:21:28,171 --> 00:21:29,905
Oh, yeah,
judge my mere mortal existence.
520
00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:31,807
My daughters are freaky?
Fuck you!
521
00:21:31,842 --> 00:21:33,542
Wake the fuck up!
522
00:21:33,576 --> 00:21:35,677
How do you think Stevie's gonna
turn out if he goes with you?
523
00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:38,513
I'm getting a do-over!
I'm making it count!
524
00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:40,481
Oh, you're getting
a do-over!
525
00:21:40,516 --> 00:21:42,283
Oh, why don't I
get a fucking do-over?
526
00:21:42,317 --> 00:21:43,918
I never get a fucking do-over.
Ohh.
527
00:21:43,952 --> 00:21:45,986
Somewhere the fates decided
528
00:21:46,021 --> 00:21:48,756
that Jill gets responsibility
in this life
529
00:21:48,790 --> 00:21:51,091
while Nancy's free
to have adventures
530
00:21:51,126 --> 00:21:52,226
and do-overs!
531
00:21:52,260 --> 00:21:53,994
Here we go!
Martyr!
532
00:21:54,029 --> 00:21:55,629
Okay, you're gonna show up
at the gymboree class
533
00:21:55,664 --> 00:21:57,231
with your hoochie dresses
534
00:21:57,265 --> 00:21:59,467
and a gun
jammed into your purse,
535
00:21:59,501 --> 00:22:02,870
tote-full of marijuana,
fuck strangers upside down,
536
00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:04,404
sideways, every which way,
537
00:22:04,439 --> 00:22:06,206
and a toddler wander in
at 3:00 A.M.
538
00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:08,142
Wet with pee!
539
00:22:08,176 --> 00:22:11,412
- You'd love it if I died on the
vine, just like you, right? - Right.
540
00:22:11,447 --> 00:22:12,847
Because you're all ready
to put on an apron
541
00:22:12,881 --> 00:22:13,981
and bake cookies,
542
00:22:14,015 --> 00:22:15,682
and I'm all ready
to shorten my skirt
543
00:22:15,717 --> 00:22:17,184
and sling weed,
544
00:22:17,218 --> 00:22:19,319
and fuck every colored cock
on the ethnic rainbow.
545
00:22:23,792 --> 00:22:24,758
Mustache.
546
00:22:24,793 --> 00:22:26,526
Bug eyes.
547
00:22:29,463 --> 00:22:32,766
Jill, Nancy,
both here.
548
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,501
Uh, no one's bleeding.
549
00:22:34,535 --> 00:22:37,738
How's it going with the...
custody thing?
550
00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:39,908
Stalemate.
It's not a stalemate, Nance!
551
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:42,444
I hold every fucking card
in the deck.
552
00:22:42,478 --> 00:22:44,946
Today was fun,
but I'm not giving up my son.
553
00:22:44,981 --> 00:22:48,050
It's not your fucking son!
He's my son!
554
00:22:48,084 --> 00:22:50,386
Okay.
I was afraid of this.
555
00:22:50,420 --> 00:22:53,222
Uh...Jill,
would you come with me?
556
00:22:53,257 --> 00:22:55,057
I'm not gonna fuck you, Andy.
557
00:22:55,091 --> 00:22:58,460
Good to know, but that's not
where this is going.
558
00:23:08,370 --> 00:23:11,705
I'm sorry.
559
00:23:11,740 --> 00:23:14,008
I was angry.
560
00:23:16,912 --> 00:23:19,381
I know the feeling.
561
00:23:33,329 --> 00:23:35,631
Are you happy here?
562
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,834
In the city?
563
00:23:41,138 --> 00:23:43,072
What's it gonna take?
Hmm?
564
00:23:43,106 --> 00:23:44,173
What do you want?
565
00:23:44,207 --> 00:23:46,174
I want my son.
566
00:23:46,209 --> 00:23:48,009
What else do you want?
567
00:23:48,043 --> 00:23:50,812
I don't want anything else.
568
00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:53,481
I'm not your sister.
569
00:23:53,516 --> 00:23:54,916
I've been inside you.
570
00:23:54,951 --> 00:23:57,585
I know you know.
571
00:23:57,620 --> 00:23:59,588
Getting Stevie is not gonna be
the answer to your problems
572
00:23:59,622 --> 00:24:02,557
or make you happy, so...
573
00:24:02,592 --> 00:24:06,061
What do you want, Jill?
574
00:24:06,095 --> 00:24:07,763
Tell Andy.
575
00:24:13,637 --> 00:24:15,938
Impromptu family meeting.
Major announcement.
576
00:24:15,972 --> 00:24:17,506
Major discussions.
577
00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:21,577
Might be unconventional,
but, uh, I have an idea.
578
00:24:25,249 --> 00:24:28,218
It's for you.
579
00:24:28,252 --> 00:24:32,589
To grow and to do
what you love.
580
00:24:32,623 --> 00:24:35,592
I'm not saying
you have to live here.
581
00:24:35,626 --> 00:24:38,428
God knows there's not
even a whole lot of room left,
582
00:24:38,462 --> 00:24:40,931
and you're an adult.
583
00:24:40,965 --> 00:24:43,266
I want you to have
your own life.
584
00:24:43,301 --> 00:24:45,268
But...
585
00:24:45,303 --> 00:24:47,737
It's here for you.
586
00:24:54,512 --> 00:24:57,013
It's great.
587
00:25:08,327 --> 00:25:10,829
Don't play with it.
588
00:25:12,999 --> 00:25:17,502
Don't play with it.
589
00:25:23,976 --> 00:25:25,277
Cadets!
590
00:25:25,311 --> 00:25:27,779
Every day in this city,
591
00:25:27,813 --> 00:25:31,582
over 300 people are mugged,
beaten, or raped...
592
00:25:31,617 --> 00:25:35,153
2,000 pounds of drugs are sold
on the streets of New York.
593
00:25:35,187 --> 00:25:39,358
When you graduate
from this police academy,
594
00:25:39,393 --> 00:25:41,794
you will be the first line
of defense.
595
00:25:51,574 --> 00:25:53,208
Sorry I'm late.
596
00:25:53,243 --> 00:25:55,110
Art History ran over.
597
00:25:55,144 --> 00:25:58,480
And, girls, I don't want
any problems from you.
598
00:25:58,514 --> 00:25:59,848
You will eat.
599
00:25:59,882 --> 00:26:01,383
You will eat this
if I have to liquify it
600
00:26:01,417 --> 00:26:02,818
and feed it to you
through a tube.
601
00:26:04,287 --> 00:26:06,521
Anorexics have hair that grows
on their backs.
602
00:26:06,556 --> 00:26:08,490
You want that?
603
00:26:08,524 --> 00:26:10,659
Mama, mommy's trying to talk.
604
00:26:10,693 --> 00:26:12,627
Oh, I'm sorry, babe.
605
00:26:15,198 --> 00:26:16,832
Uh...
606
00:26:16,866 --> 00:26:18,634
The spirit of compromise.
607
00:26:18,668 --> 00:26:22,404
Everyone's a little happy,
everyone's a little miserable.
608
00:26:22,438 --> 00:26:23,739
It's family.
609
00:26:23,773 --> 00:26:25,874
Um...Andy...
610
00:26:25,908 --> 00:26:29,211
You're a man of big ideas,
611
00:26:29,245 --> 00:26:32,848
some crackpot,
others brilliant.
612
00:26:32,882 --> 00:26:35,083
Big-hearted.
613
00:26:35,118 --> 00:26:39,588
We celebrate the closing
of escrow on this,
614
00:26:39,622 --> 00:26:42,758
the Botwin-Price-Gray
family compound,
615
00:26:42,792 --> 00:26:45,994
with significant contributions
from the Wilson fund.
616
00:26:47,730 --> 00:26:49,131
An experiment, to be sure,
617
00:26:49,165 --> 00:26:53,202
but really...the only solution.
618
00:26:53,236 --> 00:26:56,506
May we not kill one another?
619
00:27:06,417 --> 00:27:08,451
What?
620
00:27:08,485 --> 00:27:10,319
Shayla!
621
00:27:10,354 --> 00:27:11,554
I swear to God.
622
00:27:23,047 --> 00:27:26,737
That was a big red dot.
623
00:27:35,147 --> 00:27:37,882
Whoo!
624
00:27:41,653 --> 00:27:51,910
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com