1 00:00:09,128 --> 00:00:10,671 She said your check didn't clear. 2 00:00:10,838 --> 00:00:12,757 You don't have any money in your account. 3 00:00:12,923 --> 00:00:14,258 You no pay me last week. 4 00:00:14,425 --> 00:00:16,385 - I'm broke. - I've been working on setting up... 5 00:00:16,552 --> 00:00:17,845 ...a front to launder money. 6 00:00:18,054 --> 00:00:20,514 Could my cover business become my real business? 7 00:00:20,723 --> 00:00:23,184 Good luck. Small business is fucked. 8 00:00:23,392 --> 00:00:25,519 You want weed on credit, leave some collateral. 9 00:00:25,728 --> 00:00:27,063 How about I hold on to that rock? 10 00:00:27,229 --> 00:00:28,606 I need more inventory. 11 00:00:28,939 --> 00:00:32,109 - Leave your car instead. - My car? I'm leasing it. 12 00:00:32,276 --> 00:00:34,403 Then you really gonna want to get it back. 13 00:00:35,196 --> 00:00:36,864 I am so screwed. 14 00:01:29,542 --> 00:01:31,961 This is Janet Yamamoto, live from West Hills. 15 00:01:32,128 --> 00:01:34,964 In the past few days, wildlife officials have been swamped... 16 00:01:35,131 --> 00:01:37,591 ... with hundreds of calls from Agrestic residents... 17 00:01:37,758 --> 00:01:41,012 ... who have reported seeing a large tan mountain lion. 18 00:01:41,178 --> 00:01:45,391 I haven't seen Chester... Oh, that's my cat....in two days. 19 00:01:46,017 --> 00:01:49,103 I don't know, though, would a big cat eat a smaller cat? 20 00:01:49,270 --> 00:01:51,522 I mean, isn't that cat cannibalism? 21 00:01:51,689 --> 00:01:54,275 Department of Fish and Game officials have been called... 22 00:01:54,483 --> 00:01:57,111 ... but they've had no success in capturing the animal. 23 00:01:57,278 --> 00:01:59,572 In the meantime, a dangerous predator roams free. 24 00:02:00,156 --> 00:02:03,326 Agrestic, a community living in fear. 25 00:02:03,492 --> 00:02:06,120 - "Back to you in the studio, Joanie." - "Thank you, Janet." 26 00:02:06,287 --> 00:02:08,497 I'm going to the market. Any requests for dinner? 27 00:02:08,664 --> 00:02:10,291 Steak. 28 00:02:11,667 --> 00:02:13,294 You've been sneaking food. 29 00:02:14,170 --> 00:02:15,921 I haven't. 30 00:02:16,547 --> 00:02:17,965 I swear. 31 00:02:18,299 --> 00:02:20,343 Well, then congratulations. 32 00:02:20,509 --> 00:02:22,470 You must be pregnant. 33 00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:26,307 I have to go get dressed for school. 34 00:02:26,682 --> 00:02:30,144 We can't cut into the art program. Kids need drawing and shit. 35 00:02:30,311 --> 00:02:32,688 No. Hell, no. We're not cutting into football for it. 36 00:02:32,855 --> 00:02:36,233 Screw the pansy art fags. Let them paint banners for the football team. 37 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:37,985 Kill two birds with... 38 00:02:38,152 --> 00:02:40,946 Hey, I got somebody here. We'll finish this at the meeting. 39 00:02:41,113 --> 00:02:44,825 Your turn to bring the vodka. Okay, you too. 40 00:02:44,992 --> 00:02:47,119 Yes, yes, I fucked your wife. 41 00:02:47,286 --> 00:02:51,207 Yes, I fucked your mother. Okay, bye. 42 00:02:51,374 --> 00:02:53,000 Nancy. 43 00:02:53,542 --> 00:02:56,295 I'm such a fazehead, I totally forgot you were coming. 44 00:02:56,462 --> 00:02:59,131 Don't smoke it all at once. 45 00:02:59,632 --> 00:03:01,092 What? What's wrong? 46 00:03:01,258 --> 00:03:03,260 - I'm flush. - What do you mean, you're flush? 47 00:03:03,427 --> 00:03:06,347 I'm cool. I'm stocked fat. No needy more weedy. 48 00:03:06,514 --> 00:03:10,184 I only sold you a quarter last week. You can't have any left, the way you smoke. 49 00:03:10,393 --> 00:03:14,021 I burned through that days ago. Check this out. 50 00:03:15,272 --> 00:03:17,858 - What is this? - My medical-marijuana card. 51 00:03:18,025 --> 00:03:20,111 I got a note from a clinic doc for 100 bucks. 52 00:03:20,277 --> 00:03:23,614 Went down to the pot store and, mama... 53 00:03:25,825 --> 00:03:27,576 ...I was home! 54 00:03:28,828 --> 00:03:32,290 It's a weed wonderland, Nancy. It's like Amsterdam, only better. 55 00:03:32,456 --> 00:03:36,627 You don't have to visit the Anne Frank house and pretend to be all sad and stuff. 56 00:03:36,794 --> 00:03:38,671 - See this lollipop? - It isn't? 57 00:03:38,838 --> 00:03:42,300 Yes, I'm getting high right now. You can't even tell. 58 00:03:42,466 --> 00:03:46,137 - How is this possible? - The genius of Prop 215: 59 00:03:46,304 --> 00:03:49,849 Medical marijuana for sick people. And, seriously, who couldn't use... 60 00:03:50,016 --> 00:03:53,227 ...a little medicating, right? My friend's friend's friend gave me... 61 00:03:53,394 --> 00:03:55,896 ...the address, and I went down there and loaded up. 62 00:03:56,063 --> 00:03:58,524 God, I love California. 63 00:03:58,899 --> 00:04:02,153 I can't wait to tell the poker guys about it. The one buzz-kill is... 64 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,906 ...you can only buy 8 ounces a visit. - That's half a pound! 65 00:04:06,073 --> 00:04:08,200 Well, they allow you to make two visits a day. 66 00:04:08,367 --> 00:04:11,704 But with all the traffic on the 110, that's practically impossible. 67 00:04:12,455 --> 00:04:14,540 Are you fucking with me? 68 00:04:14,707 --> 00:04:17,376 No, no. It's all true. I don't kid about my weed. 69 00:04:17,543 --> 00:04:19,837 - I need the address. - Nance, you're a pot dealer. 70 00:04:20,004 --> 00:04:23,215 Why take advantage of a medical provider when you have connections? 71 00:04:23,382 --> 00:04:26,093 - Douglas! - Okay, fine. 72 00:04:26,636 --> 00:04:30,556 As long as you're braving traffic, would you pick up more lollipots for me? 73 00:04:30,890 --> 00:04:32,600 Wild cherry. 74 00:05:05,841 --> 00:05:08,844 Hi, there. Welcome. I'm Craig X. 75 00:05:09,011 --> 00:05:12,056 And you are at the Bodhi Sativa Caregivers Club. 76 00:05:12,223 --> 00:05:14,433 - How can we care for you? - Hi. 77 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,561 I'm kind of new at this. 78 00:05:17,728 --> 00:05:20,898 A virgin? Don't worry, I'll be gentle on you. Come on, this way. 79 00:05:21,065 --> 00:05:23,818 First thing you do when you come is check out the big board. 80 00:05:24,026 --> 00:05:27,488 On the board here, we have all the prices and strains. They do change daily. 81 00:05:27,697 --> 00:05:30,491 Hey, Billy, how's the anxiety? All right. Cool. 82 00:05:30,658 --> 00:05:32,910 - What was I saying? The big board. - The big board. 83 00:05:33,077 --> 00:05:35,997 I got spaced. And on this big board, we got two specials today. 84 00:05:36,163 --> 00:05:38,624 You wanna check out the Grand Daddy Perp. It's purple. 85 00:05:38,791 --> 00:05:41,877 It's a indica-sativa blend. The flavor's "bellissima." 86 00:05:42,044 --> 00:05:44,964 Second, we got the Here's Johnny, the King of Late Night. 87 00:05:45,131 --> 00:05:48,175 Don't mess with this before the sun goes down. It'll knock you out. 88 00:05:48,384 --> 00:05:52,013 In the other room, we got clones. How's it going, Robbie? Arthritis is better. 89 00:05:52,179 --> 00:05:53,639 - Yeah, you know it, man. - Cool. 90 00:05:53,848 --> 00:05:55,391 - What was I saying? - Clones. 91 00:05:55,558 --> 00:06:00,229 Oh, yeah! You hear that dial tone? My clones are off the hook. Check this out. 92 00:06:01,063 --> 00:06:03,024 We have the most beautiful clones. 93 00:06:03,190 --> 00:06:05,985 They're $10 apiece, and ours are guaranteed female. 94 00:06:06,152 --> 00:06:09,196 This'll get you started. And over here we've got the food section. 95 00:06:09,405 --> 00:06:12,158 Hey, Mrs. Rappaport, nice to see you. You look beautiful. 96 00:06:12,325 --> 00:06:15,202 We got your sponge cake in back. Okay, go ahead and get that. 97 00:06:15,369 --> 00:06:16,746 - Thanks. - She's got diabetes. 98 00:06:16,912 --> 00:06:18,914 We make it with Splenda instead of sugar. 99 00:06:19,081 --> 00:06:20,708 - What was I saying again? - Edibles. 100 00:06:20,875 --> 00:06:23,836 Edibles! Okay, look at all this great stuff. We have infusions... 101 00:06:24,003 --> 00:06:27,548 ...goos, kifs, kif oils, hash oils, hemp oils. 102 00:06:27,798 --> 00:06:30,718 - You look a little overwhelmed. - Where does all this come from? 103 00:06:30,885 --> 00:06:34,263 A combination of our patients themselves and very compassionate farmers. 104 00:06:34,430 --> 00:06:36,557 - Doing God's work. - And it's all legal? 105 00:06:36,766 --> 00:06:40,978 Well, we operate under the guidelines of Health and Safety Code 11362.5. 106 00:06:41,145 --> 00:06:42,146 Douglas! 107 00:06:43,689 --> 00:06:44,899 I just couldn't stay away. 108 00:06:45,066 --> 00:06:48,569 That's the beauty of this place. You don't have to, man. Welcome back. 109 00:06:51,072 --> 00:06:55,242 - I love it here so much. - He's suffering from depression. 110 00:06:55,618 --> 00:06:58,412 Hey, Nance. Hey, any more Stephen Hawking? 111 00:06:58,621 --> 00:07:00,706 - I wanna be wheeled out. - I'll hook you up. 112 00:07:00,873 --> 00:07:03,751 - Come on, let's go. - What'd I tell you, Nance? 113 00:07:04,210 --> 00:07:07,672 - You sold me shit! - I ain't here to sell you flowers. 114 00:07:07,838 --> 00:07:12,259 Let me rephrase. You sold me bullshit. 115 00:07:13,135 --> 00:07:17,848 Skank weed. And I can't move it, and I want a refund. 116 00:07:18,474 --> 00:07:23,062 And I want an ass like Beyonc�'s. Ain't neither of us getting what we want. 117 00:07:23,229 --> 00:07:28,526 I just went to this place, this store, it was like the Whole Foods of pot! 118 00:07:28,693 --> 00:07:32,071 Listen to her. Barbie thinks she discovered the cannabis club. 119 00:07:32,238 --> 00:07:35,449 - Welcome to the party, baby. - It isn't a party, it's a nightmare. 120 00:07:35,658 --> 00:07:37,076 How can I compete with that? 121 00:07:37,243 --> 00:07:39,328 Well, when you figure it out, you let me know. 122 00:07:39,495 --> 00:07:42,623 Fucking weed boutique sent my business off. How much off again? 123 00:07:42,790 --> 00:07:44,834 - Seventeen percent. - Seventeen percent! 124 00:07:45,001 --> 00:07:48,629 What's the world coming to when they legalize weed? Ain't no damn morals left. 125 00:07:48,796 --> 00:07:51,841 So don't come crying to me, because I got my own troubles. 126 00:07:52,258 --> 00:07:57,847 - Anything else you want from me? - I want everything on this list. 127 00:08:03,019 --> 00:08:05,146 Yeah, we got the Blue Mist and the White Widow. 128 00:08:05,313 --> 00:08:09,275 But you gonna have to wait on the OG Cush. That shit sold out quick. 129 00:08:09,692 --> 00:08:13,321 I can't believe you've been selling me schoolyard crap this whole time. 130 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,865 You get what you ask for. 131 00:08:16,032 --> 00:08:18,451 And you never knew enough to ask for the call brand. 132 00:08:18,618 --> 00:08:20,411 Well, those days are over. 133 00:08:21,203 --> 00:08:25,333 We got ourselves a regular Pablo Escobar up in here. 134 00:08:30,796 --> 00:08:34,759 - What...? What's wrong? - Serious shit calls for serious cash. 135 00:08:35,092 --> 00:08:37,136 And your cash got a sense of humor. 136 00:08:39,013 --> 00:08:40,681 But that's all I got. 137 00:08:44,018 --> 00:08:45,686 Then that's all you get. 138 00:08:47,271 --> 00:08:48,981 You could use that skank to cook... 139 00:08:51,317 --> 00:08:53,611 ...with. - Then it is skank. 140 00:09:40,783 --> 00:09:43,035 Here, kitty, kitty. 141 00:09:54,922 --> 00:09:56,924 How's your beer, almost out? 142 00:09:57,466 --> 00:09:59,927 I'm gonna get another. Be right back. 143 00:10:09,687 --> 00:10:12,857 So Julie Googel had to give a blow job... 144 00:10:13,024 --> 00:10:17,028 ...and she came across this website that teaches girls to deep throat. 145 00:10:17,194 --> 00:10:20,448 Oh, yeah. Deaf Megan can do that. 146 00:10:20,614 --> 00:10:26,287 Dennis Cling says her mouth is like a Dirt Devil. 147 00:10:27,747 --> 00:10:31,500 Daredevil? No, he's blind, not deaf. 148 00:10:31,667 --> 00:10:35,421 I don't think he sucks dick at all. He is a superhero. 149 00:10:36,130 --> 00:10:37,798 You're done. 150 00:10:43,387 --> 00:10:46,140 Hey, Megan. Can you hear me? 151 00:10:48,267 --> 00:10:49,727 Megan. 152 00:10:50,394 --> 00:10:52,730 Hey, come on. 153 00:10:53,648 --> 00:10:54,857 Hello? 154 00:10:55,483 --> 00:10:58,986 Megan. Megan. 155 00:11:01,030 --> 00:11:02,531 That's funny. 156 00:11:03,950 --> 00:11:06,953 Hey, hey, hey. Come on. 157 00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:36,899 Shit! What the fuck are you doing?! 158 00:11:37,108 --> 00:11:38,693 Man! 159 00:11:40,403 --> 00:11:42,905 What kind of crazy bitch are you? 160 00:11:43,072 --> 00:11:45,366 I don't think I put enough in the popcorn balls. 161 00:11:45,574 --> 00:11:48,536 You got enough THC in them balls to keep Stevie wondering. 162 00:11:49,412 --> 00:11:51,664 - Thanks for talking me through this. - Know what? 163 00:11:51,831 --> 00:11:55,918 Gives me a real sense of accomplishment working with overprivileged white women. 164 00:11:57,044 --> 00:11:58,546 You entering a whole new level. 165 00:11:58,713 --> 00:12:02,842 We talking about bigger buys. That means bigger risks, right? 166 00:12:03,759 --> 00:12:06,971 Thing is, I like you. 167 00:12:07,763 --> 00:12:10,141 I don't wanna see you end up dead, know what I mean? 168 00:12:10,308 --> 00:12:12,393 - Dead? - Relax, I'm just fucking with you. 169 00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,979 - Adorable. - No, seriously, how you doing? 170 00:12:15,146 --> 00:12:18,566 - The popcorn's taking forever... - No, no, no, fuck the popcorn. 171 00:12:18,733 --> 00:12:20,568 - How you doing? - "Me?" 172 00:12:20,776 --> 00:12:24,196 If this doesn't work out, I could end up being the oldest Gap employee... 173 00:12:24,363 --> 00:12:27,742 ...in Southern California, but... - You a hustler, you'll do just fine. 174 00:12:27,908 --> 00:12:29,744 I wish I shared your confidence. 175 00:12:29,952 --> 00:12:32,997 God! That smells amazing! 176 00:12:33,164 --> 00:12:34,999 That means it's ready. Take it out. 177 00:12:35,166 --> 00:12:36,459 - Now? - Take it out right now! 178 00:12:36,626 --> 00:12:39,837 - Lf you don't take it out, it's gonna burn. - Bye! 179 00:12:40,504 --> 00:12:41,756 Yo. 180 00:12:48,262 --> 00:12:50,431 Shit! 181 00:12:53,809 --> 00:12:56,854 Mom, Mom, Mom! I did it! I shot the mountain lion! 182 00:12:57,021 --> 00:13:01,108 That's great! Go get ready for bed. 183 00:13:08,449 --> 00:13:10,117 Fuck! 184 00:13:11,494 --> 00:13:13,955 God! Shit. 185 00:13:14,705 --> 00:13:19,335 Now, begin your cut-and-paste collage. And remember, no dirty words. 186 00:13:29,887 --> 00:13:31,138 Mrs. Heimler? 187 00:13:31,889 --> 00:13:34,642 - Yes, Isabel. - I have to go to the bathroom. 188 00:13:34,892 --> 00:13:37,979 Well, when Billy comes back from the bathroom, you can go. 189 00:13:41,899 --> 00:13:44,318 - Mrs. Heimler? - Yes. 190 00:13:44,694 --> 00:13:48,864 - I have to go to the bathroom now. - Well, you know the rules, Isabel. 191 00:13:49,031 --> 00:13:51,325 But please! 192 00:13:52,243 --> 00:13:54,954 Very well. Go. Go. Go. 193 00:15:41,394 --> 00:15:43,229 I try. 194 00:15:45,064 --> 00:15:47,483 It's cool. It's all cool. 195 00:15:49,485 --> 00:15:51,779 Honey, you couldn't help it. 196 00:15:51,988 --> 00:15:53,948 These things happen. 197 00:15:54,156 --> 00:15:56,826 Hopefully not too often, but they happen. 198 00:15:59,954 --> 00:16:04,000 One day, you are gonna look back on this, "and..." 199 00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:07,128 Well, it'll still be painfully embarrassing... 200 00:16:07,295 --> 00:16:10,381 ...but it will make for a terrific story. 201 00:16:11,966 --> 00:16:15,594 I had to throw my underpants into the woods. 202 00:16:16,846 --> 00:16:19,974 They call me Shit Girl now. 203 00:16:20,474 --> 00:16:23,394 And that's part of the story. 204 00:16:24,854 --> 00:16:26,981 Good night, sweetie. 205 00:16:27,523 --> 00:16:29,066 Night, Dad. 206 00:16:33,487 --> 00:16:36,741 I'm worried about Isabel. Maybe we should take her to the doctor... 207 00:16:36,907 --> 00:16:39,076 ...and make sure she doesn't have a stomach flu. 208 00:16:39,243 --> 00:16:41,287 Please, she's perfectly fine. 209 00:16:41,454 --> 00:16:44,498 She shit herself in school. How is that perfectly fine? 210 00:16:44,665 --> 00:16:47,793 She shit herself because she's a little piggy. 211 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:52,340 The truth is, I found a chocolate stash in her room the other day. 212 00:16:52,506 --> 00:16:55,635 So I just switched it out with laxatives. 213 00:16:56,677 --> 00:17:00,014 What? It was a good plan. I mean, maybe "next" time she'll think twice... 214 00:17:00,222 --> 00:17:03,017 ...about scarfing down an entire bag of chocolates. 215 00:17:03,476 --> 00:17:06,979 I mean, come on. I eat the same laxatives every day in reasonable amounts... 216 00:17:07,146 --> 00:17:09,148 ...and I don't shit all over myself. 217 00:17:09,398 --> 00:17:11,525 I mean, look, I didn't mean for this to happen. 218 00:17:11,692 --> 00:17:14,695 I was just hoping for some nice, loose doodies. 219 00:17:14,904 --> 00:17:17,239 Clean the girl out a bit, you know. 220 00:17:17,406 --> 00:17:21,202 - Are you out of your fucking mind? - What? Calm down. 221 00:17:21,369 --> 00:17:24,830 That is absolutely child abuse! You should be arrested! 222 00:17:25,039 --> 00:17:27,917 I should call Child Protective Services and have you arrested! 223 00:17:28,084 --> 00:17:31,504 - Don't be such a drama queen. - They called her Shit Girl. 224 00:17:31,712 --> 00:17:33,381 Well, it's better than Fat Girl. 225 00:17:33,547 --> 00:17:35,675 How could you even imagine doing such a thing? 226 00:17:35,841 --> 00:17:38,094 You know, excuse me. Excuse me for wanting... 227 00:17:38,260 --> 00:17:40,554 ...my daughter to be thin, attractive... 228 00:17:40,763 --> 00:17:42,390 ...so that the world is her oyster. 229 00:17:42,598 --> 00:17:45,893 I know that you think she's beautiful, Dean. But this is America. 230 00:17:46,060 --> 00:17:49,522 It is cold and cruel out there for fat girls. 231 00:17:51,273 --> 00:17:53,734 Nope, nope. Nope. 232 00:17:54,694 --> 00:17:57,655 I hope our children survive you. 233 00:17:58,948 --> 00:18:01,325 That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. 234 00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:21,429 - Isabel, breakfast! - Coming! 235 00:18:32,732 --> 00:18:34,150 Feeling better, sweetie? 236 00:18:35,234 --> 00:18:37,028 I am now, Daddy. 237 00:18:48,331 --> 00:18:51,292 You really should lock your front door. 238 00:18:51,459 --> 00:18:55,546 I do lock it, but Lupita leaves it open so she doesn't have to dig for her keys. 239 00:18:55,963 --> 00:18:57,214 Drives me insane. 240 00:18:57,381 --> 00:19:00,259 Their subtle revenge for having to clean our toilets. 241 00:19:00,426 --> 00:19:02,637 I still say we got the better end of that deal. 242 00:19:03,429 --> 00:19:06,766 Here. I'm posting these in the neighborhood. 243 00:19:06,932 --> 00:19:09,769 Tell you, I have a good mind to stay in a hotel... 244 00:19:09,935 --> 00:19:11,979 ...until they catch that cougar. 245 00:19:12,146 --> 00:19:14,690 Although a part of me is hoping that it will maul Dean. 246 00:19:14,857 --> 00:19:16,359 And I wouldn't wanna miss that. 247 00:19:17,234 --> 00:19:19,654 "What To Do If You Meet a Mountain Lion"? 248 00:19:19,820 --> 00:19:21,781 "Give the mountain lion some room. 249 00:19:21,948 --> 00:19:26,285 Don't make eye contact. Talk to the lion softly." 250 00:19:26,452 --> 00:19:29,580 You sure this isn't "What To Do If You Date a Mountain Lion"? 251 00:19:30,164 --> 00:19:32,124 Well, I have a lot to do, Celia. So... 252 00:19:32,333 --> 00:19:34,251 Have you ever had sex with a woman? 253 00:19:35,002 --> 00:19:37,546 - Excuse me? - I think I'd like to try it. 254 00:19:37,713 --> 00:19:40,841 - With who? - Anyone. I don't care. 255 00:19:41,008 --> 00:19:44,345 I'm sick of men. Maybe I missed my calling. 256 00:19:44,512 --> 00:19:46,681 I mean, what if I was supposed to be a dyke... 257 00:19:46,889 --> 00:19:48,933 ...but just made a wrong turn by mistake? 258 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,810 It would explain a hell of a lot. 259 00:19:51,519 --> 00:19:54,981 Here's the thing. I really wanna fuck around on Dean. 260 00:19:55,189 --> 00:19:58,985 But the thought of having to put one more cock into my mouth... 261 00:19:59,151 --> 00:20:00,444 ...is just too depressing. 262 00:20:00,611 --> 00:20:03,531 I'm not sure a vagina would be any kind of improvement for you. 263 00:20:03,698 --> 00:20:08,536 Well, maybe you're right. Truth is, pussy really skeeves me out. 264 00:20:08,703 --> 00:20:12,164 That whole mirror-investigation thing we did when we were young... 265 00:20:12,331 --> 00:20:15,293 ...truly a rude awakening. 266 00:20:15,751 --> 00:20:20,006 Speaking of pussy, somebody killed the Alderman's cat... 267 00:20:20,172 --> 00:20:22,591 ...and it was not the mountain lion. 268 00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:24,510 Alison is losing her mind. 269 00:20:24,719 --> 00:20:28,347 She thinks that someone's trying to send her messages or something. 270 00:20:28,514 --> 00:20:30,308 It's probably just the kids, though. 271 00:20:33,519 --> 00:20:34,895 How did the...? 272 00:20:35,062 --> 00:20:37,898 - How did the cat die? - I'm not sure, why? 273 00:20:40,609 --> 00:20:42,528 I think I might know the kid who did it. 274 00:20:43,863 --> 00:20:45,364 Friend of Silas'. 275 00:20:45,573 --> 00:20:48,367 You know, I read somewhere that killing small animals... 276 00:20:48,534 --> 00:20:52,705 ...is the first sign of psychotic behavior. You should really tell the parents... 277 00:20:52,872 --> 00:20:55,499 ...so they can rush that little sociopath into therapy... 278 00:20:55,666 --> 00:20:59,754 ...before he starts tooling around Agrestic in a white van with blacked-out windows. 279 00:20:59,962 --> 00:21:02,089 I have to get going on this. You have to go. 280 00:21:02,298 --> 00:21:04,800 - Have you had sex with a woman? - None of your business. 281 00:21:04,967 --> 00:21:07,637 - Come on, tell me. - Okay, I slept with a woman in college. 282 00:21:07,803 --> 00:21:09,722 - How was it? - Boring. 283 00:21:09,889 --> 00:21:12,099 Well, maybe you didn't do it right. 284 00:21:12,308 --> 00:21:14,894 She said I was the best she'd ever had. 285 00:21:15,061 --> 00:21:17,521 What are you doing Friday night? 286 00:21:19,899 --> 00:21:21,901 These will satisfy your munchies... 287 00:21:22,068 --> 00:21:26,113 ...and give you a long-lasting, all-body high at the same time. 288 00:21:26,322 --> 00:21:28,574 Not to mention the fact you're saving your lungs... 289 00:21:28,741 --> 00:21:31,285 ...and there's no residual odor for your wives to smell. 290 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:36,457 - So everything in there is loaded with... - It sure is. That's not all I'm offering. 291 00:21:36,624 --> 00:21:39,377 For all of you old-school smokers in the room... 292 00:21:39,543 --> 00:21:44,382 ...l've also brought some wild and wonderful indica-sativa blends. 293 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:46,592 Organic or hydroponic. 294 00:21:46,759 --> 00:21:51,055 Hairy, sticky, delicious to smoke. 295 00:21:51,222 --> 00:21:53,808 Here, help yourselves to some samples. 296 00:22:00,982 --> 00:22:02,233 So? 297 00:22:03,526 --> 00:22:06,487 Fuck me! That is awesome! 298 00:22:06,654 --> 00:22:09,699 I think I could exist off nothing but this for the rest of my life. 299 00:22:09,865 --> 00:22:11,158 I'm glad you like it. 300 00:22:11,742 --> 00:22:13,953 So here's my final pitch, guys. 301 00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:16,789 The clubs are fun and all, but with me... 302 00:22:16,956 --> 00:22:20,376 ...you get great shit right here in town. I know what you like. 303 00:22:20,543 --> 00:22:24,338 Make sure it's there when you want it. You don't have to go to the city to get it. 304 00:22:24,505 --> 00:22:27,383 But most of all, I don't xerox your driver's license... 305 00:22:27,550 --> 00:22:30,136 ...and put your name in a state-controlled data bank. 306 00:22:30,303 --> 00:22:32,221 What? 307 00:22:32,388 --> 00:22:34,515 - I'm in a data bank? - You sure are. 308 00:22:34,682 --> 00:22:37,226 So when your wives find out and divorce you... 309 00:22:37,393 --> 00:22:40,479 ...they'll get custody of your children because their attorneys... 310 00:22:40,646 --> 00:22:44,650 ...will be able to prove you're nothing but a bunch of irresponsible potheads. 311 00:22:44,859 --> 00:22:48,279 - I'm in a data bank? - Celia would have a field day with that. 312 00:22:48,779 --> 00:22:51,907 I'm in a data bank? I'm up for council reelection. 313 00:22:52,074 --> 00:22:54,535 I cannot be linked to any pot clubs. 314 00:22:55,536 --> 00:22:57,371 Any of you guys know any good hackers? 315 00:22:57,580 --> 00:23:00,041 Maybe you should have thought of that sooner. 316 00:23:00,207 --> 00:23:03,669 - I'm ready to take your orders. - Fuck it. I'll take it all. 317 00:23:43,125 --> 00:23:46,629 - Your butter don't look right. - It's sage. 318 00:23:48,839 --> 00:23:50,091 Don't smell like sage. 319 00:23:50,299 --> 00:23:53,260 Obviously menopause has affected your sense of smell. 320 00:23:54,136 --> 00:23:56,180 I don't smell with my coochie. 321 00:24:01,310 --> 00:24:03,938 No! It's got raw eggs in it. 322 00:24:04,105 --> 00:24:07,775 - So? - So salmonella is on the rise, so no. 323 00:24:08,317 --> 00:24:10,820 Listen, there's something I wanna talk to you about. 324 00:24:10,987 --> 00:24:12,655 Am I in trouble? 325 00:24:13,322 --> 00:24:15,032 The mountain lion you shot... 326 00:24:17,076 --> 00:24:20,204 ...did it have a collar around its neck? 327 00:24:20,871 --> 00:24:22,415 No. 328 00:24:22,581 --> 00:24:26,294 Did it make kind of a meowing sound? 329 00:24:26,794 --> 00:24:29,797 It kind of yelped when I shot it. 330 00:24:30,006 --> 00:24:33,801 But mountain lions don't meow, Mom. They kind of sound like: 331 00:24:38,806 --> 00:24:42,143 Shane, did you shoot the Alderman's cat? 332 00:24:42,351 --> 00:24:45,479 What? No. I shot the mountain lion. 333 00:24:45,646 --> 00:24:48,816 - Right in the eye. - Why? 334 00:24:49,025 --> 00:24:51,402 Because that's what Dad would have done. 335 00:24:59,035 --> 00:25:00,745 Come here. 336 00:25:05,708 --> 00:25:09,837 I'm very fond of you. 337 00:25:10,004 --> 00:25:13,174 I'm very fond of you too. 338 00:25:14,383 --> 00:25:18,220 I want the BB gun. 339 00:25:18,387 --> 00:25:21,682 - But I need it for protection. - No. 340 00:25:21,932 --> 00:25:24,810 I think I'm gonna take over that role for a while. 341 00:25:24,977 --> 00:25:28,022 But if you play your cards right... 342 00:25:28,230 --> 00:25:31,942 ...you might get it back by the time you graduate law school. 343 00:25:32,109 --> 00:25:34,362 This sucks. 344 00:25:34,570 --> 00:25:35,863 Yeah. 345 00:25:37,281 --> 00:25:40,534 But imagine how the mountain lion feels. 346 00:25:41,827 --> 00:25:44,497 Go watch Telemundo with Lupita. 347 00:25:59,220 --> 00:26:02,556 - What the hell are you doing? - I'm a little backed up. 348 00:26:02,723 --> 00:26:04,767 A lot backed up. 349 00:26:04,934 --> 00:26:07,436 I haven't shit in three days. 350 00:26:07,603 --> 00:26:11,816 I'm like a bloated African famine baby. 351 00:26:12,525 --> 00:26:15,111 Could it be? Newton's Third Law of Motion... 352 00:26:15,278 --> 00:26:19,323 ...or lack of motion in your case, illustrated right here in our bathroom. 353 00:26:19,490 --> 00:26:23,577 For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. 354 00:26:24,745 --> 00:26:27,748 - What are you talking about? - Karma, baby. 355 00:26:28,291 --> 00:26:30,918 Fuck you and your karma. 356 00:26:31,085 --> 00:26:34,338 Fine. Shit on my theory. Oh, but wait! You can't. 357 00:26:34,505 --> 00:26:36,716 So I guess that makes me right, huh? 358 00:26:38,551 --> 00:26:43,514 That takes care of last week's buy, this week's buy, my ring, my Rover. 359 00:26:44,015 --> 00:26:45,725 You surprise the shit out of me. 360 00:26:45,891 --> 00:26:49,270 I thought for sure you was gonna end up broke, living in a trailer park... 361 00:26:49,478 --> 00:26:52,606 ...having to score SAG cards for your kids to put food on the table. 362 00:26:52,773 --> 00:26:57,028 So I see somebody got their bling back. That mean we doing all right? 363 00:26:59,030 --> 00:27:00,698 Car keys, please. 364 00:27:02,533 --> 00:27:06,245 - What? I said please. - Yes. 365 00:27:06,412 --> 00:27:08,331 You are very polite, snowflake. 366 00:27:08,497 --> 00:27:11,626 But your scratch only covers last week's buy and the rings. 367 00:27:11,834 --> 00:27:14,795 You still short for all the shit you gonna wanna take this week. 368 00:27:15,004 --> 00:27:17,548 Looks like you got yourself a business decision to make: 369 00:27:18,174 --> 00:27:21,469 The strange or the Range. 370 00:27:25,097 --> 00:27:27,308 I'll be back. 371 00:27:30,102 --> 00:27:33,064 Don't let the door hit your cute little ass on the way out. 372 00:27:33,856 --> 00:27:35,399 Thanks for everything, Conrad. 373 00:27:35,566 --> 00:27:40,237 That cornbread recipe you gave me really saved my cute little ass. 374 00:27:44,784 --> 00:27:48,371 You gave away my cornbread recipe? 375 00:27:48,537 --> 00:27:51,499 And she put weed in it?! Oh, hell, no. 376 00:27:51,666 --> 00:27:55,419 - You don't put weed in my cornbread! - Now, Heylia. Hold up. 377 00:27:55,586 --> 00:27:57,338 Get your ass here, take your whupping. 378 00:27:57,505 --> 00:28:00,466 - You know nobody scared of you. - You a dumb-ass motherfucker... 379 00:28:00,675 --> 00:28:02,468 ...if you ain't scared of me! 380 00:28:40,756 --> 00:28:42,383 Bitch.