1 00:00:23,784 --> 00:00:26,048 Man: It's alive! 2 00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:44,770 I want my phone call! 3 00:00:44,805 --> 00:00:46,376 Payphone's on the wall. 4 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,282 Hello? 5 00:00:51,317 --> 00:00:52,349 I love you. 6 00:00:52,747 --> 00:00:54,846 Ah, success! 7 00:00:54,881 --> 00:00:58,080 To achieve it, you need power, unbridled ambition, 8 00:00:58,115 --> 00:01:01,721 and a full head of luxurious hair! 9 00:01:01,756 --> 00:01:04,361 Not every undead master of evil has hair like mine, 10 00:01:04,396 --> 00:01:06,363 but trust me, Baron Dark, 11 00:01:06,398 --> 00:01:09,025 when I say you can, too, people. 12 00:01:09,060 --> 00:01:11,599 Why, this hair can withstand even the harshest winds. 13 00:01:11,634 --> 00:01:14,338 I have to admit, it's magnificent. 14 00:01:14,373 --> 00:01:15,636 Aah! 15 00:01:15,671 --> 00:01:17,671 Your hair is, like, glowing. I have to say this. 16 00:01:17,706 --> 00:01:19,508 It never dries out or gets frizzy from heat. 17 00:01:19,543 --> 00:01:22,181 I mean, how is that even possible? 18 00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,446 Ohh! Aah! 19 00:01:23,481 --> 00:01:25,811 It even looks great wet. 20 00:01:25,846 --> 00:01:27,109 What's my secret? 21 00:01:27,144 --> 00:01:29,320 The hair was a gift from the Lightstar Crystal 22 00:01:29,355 --> 00:01:31,487 that turned me into the Skeleton Warrior 23 00:01:31,522 --> 00:01:33,225 you see here before you today. 24 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,952 In my patented one-week program, 25 00:01:34,987 --> 00:01:37,823 its magic can give anyone a beautiful head of hair. 26 00:01:37,858 --> 00:01:39,759 Even moi? 27 00:01:39,794 --> 00:01:41,233 Even you. 28 00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,631 Yes! Yes! 29 00:01:43,666 --> 00:01:46,469 I have the power! 30 00:01:46,504 --> 00:01:49,098 Now who's master - of the universe, He- - Man? 31 00:01:52,378 --> 00:01:54,609 An apple a day keeps the doctor away. 32 00:01:54,644 --> 00:01:57,040 But what if you are a doctor? 33 00:01:59,110 --> 00:02:02,012 You're 2 cents short. 34 00:02:02,047 --> 00:02:04,256 Oh, my eyes, my eyes! 35 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,819 Welcome to the first day of Mommy and Me. 36 00:02:06,854 --> 00:02:10,427 And can I just say, it is so refreshing to see a man 37 00:02:10,462 --> 00:02:13,529 helping with his child's early development? 38 00:02:13,564 --> 00:02:16,697 I'm not sure he is a child. 39 00:02:16,732 --> 00:02:18,666 You're a riot. 40 00:02:18,701 --> 00:02:20,899 Let's start off with some airplane. 41 00:02:22,672 --> 00:02:24,507 Oh, dear. - Uh-oh. 42 00:02:24,542 --> 00:02:26,674 Looks like someone had an accident. 43 00:02:26,709 --> 00:02:29,842 No worries. Let's try a more relaxed activity. 44 00:02:29,877 --> 00:02:31,250 Why don't you sing him a song? 45 00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:33,351 I'm not really a singer. 46 00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:34,550 Hello. 47 00:02:34,585 --> 00:02:36,618 Why, hello. Is this Mommy? 48 00:02:36,653 --> 00:02:39,049 No, she just lives in my radiator. 49 00:02:39,084 --> 00:02:42,184 Oh, we are totally supportive of alternative families. 50 00:02:42,219 --> 00:02:44,461 Why did you sing him "Rock-a-bye, Baby"? 51 00:02:44,496 --> 00:02:48,300 ♪ Rock-a-bye, baby ♪ 52 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:52,095 ♪ On the treetop ♪ 53 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,999 ♪ When the wind blows ♪ 54 00:02:56,068 --> 00:02:57,408 Oh, boy. 55 00:02:57,443 --> 00:02:59,377 When was the last time you changed his diaper? 56 00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:01,808 Oh...never. - No wonder. 57 00:03:01,843 --> 00:03:03,810 Let's get you cleaned up here, little guy. 58 00:03:03,845 --> 00:03:05,251 Uh...eww. 59 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:06,978 Oh, my God! 60 00:03:07,013 --> 00:03:08,881 Nothing a little baby powder can't solve. 61 00:03:10,016 --> 00:03:11,851 Oh, here. - Tuck those organs in there. 62 00:03:11,886 --> 00:03:12,852 Just like a little burrito. 63 00:03:12,887 --> 00:03:13,985 There we go. 64 00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:16,625 So that's how you swaddle a baby. 65 00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:19,397 I was going to kill him, but now I kind of like him. 66 00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:20,728 Wonderful! 67 00:03:20,763 --> 00:03:21,960 You guys are... 68 00:03:26,835 --> 00:03:28,098 Steak or the fish? 69 00:03:28,133 --> 00:03:29,099 The fish, please. 70 00:03:29,134 --> 00:03:31,200 And for you? 71 00:03:31,235 --> 00:03:34,280 Now's your chance. Be a part of the "Robot Chicken" action. 72 00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:37,349 What should the werewolf say? Tweet your answer. 73 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:40,583 You are awesome and funny, and now's your chance. 74 00:03:40,618 --> 00:03:42,178 What should the werewolf say? 75 00:03:42,213 --> 00:03:44,851 This is your chance to write for "Robot Chicken." 76 00:03:44,886 --> 00:03:47,249 Take your shot. Do it now. 77 00:03:47,284 --> 00:03:48,492 Here's the winner. 78 00:03:48,527 --> 00:03:50,725 This is the funniest tweet. 79 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:51,825 And for you? 80 00:03:51,860 --> 00:03:54,025 I'll have the fish. 81 00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:56,192 You love Shark Week, and this year, we're giving you 82 00:03:56,227 --> 00:03:58,469 a week dedicated to something even better. 83 00:03:58,504 --> 00:04:01,164 It's Mark Week, an entire week of programing dedicated 84 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,770 to everything Mark! 85 00:04:02,805 --> 00:04:04,343 Mark your calendar because we have 86 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:06,202 tons of Mark-centric shows you don't want to miss. 87 00:04:06,237 --> 00:04:07,544 Like "Mark Cuban's Mark Tank," 88 00:04:07,579 --> 00:04:08,974 a show where people named Mark 89 00:04:09,009 --> 00:04:10,778 pitch business marks to Mark Cuban with markers. 90 00:04:10,813 --> 00:04:12,714 And "Mark Zuckerberg," a show where Mark Zuckerberg 91 00:04:12,749 --> 00:04:14,782 marks his mark on the world while making waves. 92 00:04:14,817 --> 00:04:17,818 And mark my words. You don't want to miss the Mark event. 93 00:04:17,853 --> 00:04:20,051 The world premiere of Mark Burnett's new reality mark 94 00:04:20,086 --> 00:04:21,822 "A Roomful of Marks," the show that puts famous Marks 95 00:04:21,857 --> 00:04:23,395 into a small mark, where they're forced to injure Marks 96 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,990 over Marks in Mark form. 97 00:04:25,025 --> 00:04:27,597 Because Mark Week starts this Monday. Go and discover Mark. 98 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,864 This band sucks. I'm going to the bathroom. 99 00:04:30,899 --> 00:04:34,164 Hurry back. - They could be the next Beatles. 100 00:04:34,199 --> 00:04:35,638 Such a great band, right? 101 00:04:35,673 --> 00:04:38,344 The music touches my soul in a deep way 102 00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:40,709 only artists could understand. 103 00:04:40,744 --> 00:04:43,910 I'm Whisper. Hey, want to come backstage and meet the band? 104 00:04:43,945 --> 00:04:45,274 I guess we're touching. 105 00:04:45,309 --> 00:04:47,683 Odd Bird, this is Daria. Oh. Hello. 106 00:04:47,718 --> 00:04:50,279 She said your music touched her deeply. 107 00:04:50,314 --> 00:04:52,754 Daria, you are clearly a very smart girl. 108 00:04:52,789 --> 00:04:54,558 I'm having an afterparty at my ranch tonight 109 00:04:54,593 --> 00:04:56,560 with some - very like-minded people. 110 00:04:56,595 --> 00:04:58,364 I think you should join us. - Wow. 111 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:02,764 An invitation to a mysterious ranch by a creepy stranger. 112 00:05:02,799 --> 00:05:04,601 How could I pass that up? 113 00:05:04,636 --> 00:05:06,966 Hope you make me drink - some sort of Kool- - Aid now. 114 00:05:07,001 --> 00:05:11,036 Of course. Daria, we are a group of very special people. 115 00:05:11,071 --> 00:05:13,940 We've been chosen by God to reach the kingdom of heaven 116 00:05:13,975 --> 00:05:16,107 via - an extraterrestrial spacecraft. 117 00:05:16,142 --> 00:05:18,549 Our master, an alien named Slumu, 118 00:05:18,584 --> 00:05:20,518 will be escorting us there tonight. 119 00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:21,717 Oh, joy. 120 00:05:21,752 --> 00:05:25,347 Let's bring out - the branding iron, shall we? 121 00:05:25,382 --> 00:05:28,119 I'm just gonna use the bathroom first. 122 00:05:28,154 --> 00:05:30,286 My sarcastic tone keeps digging me 123 00:05:30,321 --> 00:05:33,322 deeper and deeper into trouble. I need to escape. 124 00:05:33,357 --> 00:05:36,435 Daria, are you ready to ascend in a flying saucer 125 00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:39,966 armed with magic more powerful than the greatest human armies? 126 00:05:40,001 --> 00:05:41,363 Absolutely. 127 00:05:41,398 --> 00:05:43,233 Back on my bullshit. 128 00:05:43,268 --> 00:05:45,367 All right, everyone. Cin cin! 129 00:05:45,402 --> 00:05:47,842 Mm-mm-mm. 130 00:05:47,877 --> 00:05:50,075 Well, there go all my best friends. 131 00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:52,583 What happened? 132 00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:54,585 They did not wait for us. - Oops. 133 00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:58,556 Guess I'm the only chosen one. 134 00:05:58,591 --> 00:06:00,316 Ready for your anal probe? 135 00:06:00,351 --> 00:06:03,429 Sounds like a real treat. 136 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:04,925 Back on my bullshit. 137 00:06:05,290 --> 00:06:08,632 Were all dinosaurs as nice as you, Barney? 138 00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:10,062 Why, yes, Kayla. 139 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,329 I love you. 140 00:06:13,364 --> 00:06:14,803 You love me. 141 00:06:14,838 --> 00:06:17,575 I love you. You love me. 142 00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:20,842 I love you. You love me. 143 00:06:20,877 --> 00:06:23,746 You love me. I love you. I love you. You love me. 144 00:06:23,781 --> 00:06:25,011 Hey, what's that? 145 00:06:26,113 --> 00:06:27,750 - Uh-oh! - Ohhh! 146 00:06:27,785 --> 00:06:30,720 After the scientists thawed me out and restarted my organs 147 00:06:30,755 --> 00:06:32,920 with a cocktail of various lizard bloods, 148 00:06:32,955 --> 00:06:37,089 I got to work forging the license to run a daycare. 149 00:06:37,124 --> 00:06:38,288 'Kay. 150 00:06:38,323 --> 00:06:40,730 At least pretend to be interested, Kayla. 151 00:06:40,765 --> 00:06:42,094 'Kay. 152 00:06:42,129 --> 00:06:43,799 All my friends are dead. 153 00:06:43,834 --> 00:06:45,394 'Kay. 154 00:06:45,429 --> 00:06:46,538 Fuck you, Kayla. 155 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,836 'Kay. 156 00:06:47,871 --> 00:06:50,036 Yeah, - being a venture capitalist 157 00:06:50,071 --> 00:06:51,301 means seeking out new opportunities, 158 00:06:51,336 --> 00:06:52,973 but what the hell is this place? 159 00:06:53,008 --> 00:06:55,008 - The planet MS Paint-a- - Bot? 160 00:06:55,043 --> 00:06:57,912 Hi. I'm Todd, and this is my world. 161 00:06:57,947 --> 00:06:59,144 ToddWorld! 162 00:06:59,179 --> 00:07:01,443 Hi, Todd. Does your world have dentists? 163 00:07:01,478 --> 00:07:02,983 Look at this guy's mouth. 164 00:07:03,018 --> 00:07:04,721 Dude, you only have one tooth. 165 00:07:04,756 --> 00:07:06,690 How do you bite through wide foods? 166 00:07:06,725 --> 00:07:08,318 Like theoretically a slice of cheese? 167 00:07:08,353 --> 00:07:10,562 Todd, we're venture capitalists. 168 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,499 We want to invest in immersive environments. 169 00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,424 Neato mosquito! 170 00:07:15,459 --> 00:07:17,503 This week, we visited Jurassic World, 171 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:19,362 Westworld, and Murderworld. 172 00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,606 And let me tell you, bro-ham, ToddWorld 173 00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:25,236 better show us something if it wants our seed money. 174 00:07:25,271 --> 00:07:27,469 Hmm. Oh, my friend Pickle 175 00:07:27,504 --> 00:07:29,405 is about to play a concert with his band. 176 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:30,549 Hells yeah! 177 00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:32,683 Groupies and coke! Grokies! 178 00:07:32,718 --> 00:07:35,147 I hear we have some tech bros in the house. 179 00:07:35,182 --> 00:07:36,852 Anyone want to join in? 180 00:07:36,887 --> 00:07:38,689 Hell yeah. I played sax in high school. 181 00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:41,285 Oh, yeah, here it comes. 1, 2, 3, 4! 182 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:42,957 ♪ This is the best song ♪ 183 00:07:42,992 --> 00:07:44,629 ♪ Future Grammy winner ♪ 184 00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:47,962 ♪ If the melody is strong, you can have the beat for dinner ♪ 185 00:07:49,493 --> 00:07:51,900 Stop playing! 186 00:07:51,935 --> 00:07:54,463 This song is a pile of burning cow shit! 187 00:07:54,498 --> 00:07:56,168 Yeah, but my sax was good, right? 188 00:07:56,203 --> 00:07:59,039 Your sax sounded like Ned Beatty getting ass-fucked 189 00:07:59,074 --> 00:08:01,910 with a VHS copy of "Deliverance"! 190 00:08:01,945 --> 00:08:04,275 And, uh, that's okay. 191 00:08:04,310 --> 00:08:06,244 Stella doesn't have to like your music. 192 00:08:06,279 --> 00:08:08,378 All that matters is whether you like it. 193 00:08:08,413 --> 00:08:09,819 That's today's lesson. 194 00:08:09,854 --> 00:08:13,020 Yes! I think we should invest all our money in ToddWorld. 195 00:08:13,055 --> 00:08:14,153 Me too. 196 00:08:14,188 --> 00:08:16,287 Let's get out of here. 197 00:08:16,322 --> 00:08:19,059 Today's real lesson is how venture capitalists 198 00:08:19,094 --> 00:08:21,226 are emotionally stunted, dysfunctional voids 199 00:08:21,261 --> 00:08:22,568 who invest in any product 200 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,493 that replicates a true human experience. 201 00:08:24,528 --> 00:08:26,935 Yeah, and in six months, they'll sell us to Facebook 202 00:08:26,970 --> 00:08:29,399 for billions - more than they paid for us. 203 00:08:32,371 --> 00:08:35,504 Ask not what your country can do for you. 204 00:08:35,539 --> 00:08:38,210 Why do I need a country that doesn't do anything? 205 00:08:38,245 --> 00:08:40,817 Ask what you can do for your country. 206 00:08:40,852 --> 00:08:42,478 Sounds like a pretty one-way street. 207 00:08:42,513 --> 00:08:44,689 Hey, pal, I don't come down to where you work 208 00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,449 and slap the dick out of your mouth. 209 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:49,023 I think you're confusing me with Marilyn Monroe. 210 00:08:49,058 --> 00:08:52,158 Burn. The president's been roasted! 211 00:08:52,193 --> 00:08:55,766 Time to pay my yearly respects to you, Mom and Dad. 212 00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:57,768 What the... Where did this come from? 213 00:08:57,803 --> 00:09:00,496 Yeah, hey, man, if you want to get in, you got to buy a ticket. 214 00:09:00,531 --> 00:09:03,070 Hello? I'm Bruce Wayne. 215 00:09:03,105 --> 00:09:05,677 Wayne family members get a 10% discount. 216 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,338 Oh, - always nice to be included. 217 00:09:07,373 --> 00:09:10,374 Welcome to the Thomas and Martha Wayne Murder Alley Tour. 218 00:09:10,409 --> 00:09:12,046 Sadly, their lives were cut short 219 00:09:12,081 --> 00:09:14,653 only a few hundred yards from where we stand. 220 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,787 The evening began here at Giussepe's. 221 00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:19,119 Uh, no, this restaurant wasn't even here. 222 00:09:19,154 --> 00:09:21,286 As you can see - from the receipt on the wall, 223 00:09:21,321 --> 00:09:23,695 Thomas had the angel hair in pink sauce. 224 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,092 Martha had the walnut shrimp. 225 00:09:25,127 --> 00:09:26,929 I highly recommend that, by the way. 226 00:09:26,964 --> 00:09:28,458 And Bruce had the grilled cheese. 227 00:09:28,493 --> 00:09:29,668 This is all wrong. 228 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,132 Walnut shrimp? - She was allergic to shellfish. 229 00:09:32,167 --> 00:09:34,002 And cheese gives me diarrhea. 230 00:09:34,037 --> 00:09:36,136 The receipt was found in Thomas' wallet. 231 00:09:36,171 --> 00:09:38,006 After being examined as evidence, 232 00:09:38,041 --> 00:09:39,645 it was given to the Wayne Foundation. 233 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,538 They graciously allow it to be displayed here today. 234 00:09:42,573 --> 00:09:44,749 Okay, one, the police don't just turn over evidence 235 00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:47,884 in an ongoing case, and, two, his wallet was stolen. 236 00:09:47,919 --> 00:09:50,381 After dinner, the family came to see this movie -- 237 00:09:50,416 --> 00:09:52,317 "Benji's Very Own Christmas Story." 238 00:09:52,352 --> 00:09:54,693 What?! I hate those movies. 239 00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:55,991 We saw "The Legend of Zorro." 240 00:09:56,026 --> 00:09:57,993 They left early because their son, Bruce, 241 00:09:58,028 --> 00:10:00,391 was frightened of the elves and accidentally wet his pants. 242 00:10:00,426 --> 00:10:01,524 No, wait. 243 00:10:02,494 --> 00:10:05,561 Yes, that was a very good Benji movie. 244 00:10:05,596 --> 00:10:08,267 Ooh! I done wet me pants, guv'nor. 245 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,743 Jesus fucking Christ. 246 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,140 Give me all your money. 247 00:10:13,175 --> 00:10:14,944 And pearls. I love pearls. 248 00:10:14,979 --> 00:10:17,606 Oh, please, shoot my wife and pants-wetting son, 249 00:10:17,641 --> 00:10:20,147 but leave me alone. This is slander. 250 00:10:20,182 --> 00:10:23,018 Uh-oh! I done pissed in me pants again. 251 00:10:23,053 --> 00:10:24,855 No, this is not what happened. 252 00:10:24,890 --> 00:10:26,516 You're raising bed wetters? 253 00:10:26,551 --> 00:10:27,990 I'll kill you for that. 254 00:10:28,025 --> 00:10:29,189 Blam! - Oh, my goodness. 255 00:10:29,224 --> 00:10:30,795 No. 256 00:10:31,655 --> 00:10:33,765 Blam, blam! - Aah! 257 00:10:34,691 --> 00:10:36,592 I'm rich! 258 00:10:36,627 --> 00:10:38,671 This is an outrage! 259 00:10:40,532 --> 00:10:41,773 Oh, it's in my face! 260 00:10:42,974 --> 00:10:44,666 Why would you use actual pee? 261 00:10:45,977 --> 00:10:47,911 Please exit through the gift shop. 262 00:10:47,946 --> 00:10:51,013 Wow, this ring-spun cotton is really soft. 263 00:10:51,048 --> 00:10:53,345 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 264 00:10:53,380 --> 00:10:55,281 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 265 00:10:55,316 --> 00:10:57,580 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 266 00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,516 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 267 00:10:59,551 --> 00:11:01,958 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 268 00:11:01,993 --> 00:11:03,828 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 269 00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,258 Ba-gawk! 270 00:11:05,293 --> 00:11:06,732 Man: Bawk.