1 00:00:23,784 --> 00:00:26,092 Man: It's alive! 2 00:00:48,611 --> 00:00:50,644 Do you have any idea how embarrassing it isss 3 00:00:50,679 --> 00:00:53,548 that other rattlesnakes know that I'm related to you? 4 00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,882 Whoa, buddy! Where's your parachute?! 5 00:00:57,917 --> 00:01:00,258 I bet my friends 50 bucks that penguins could fly 6 00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:03,162 if they were motivated enough, so here goes! 7 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:04,724 That literally makes no sense, 8 00:01:04,759 --> 00:01:07,056 and you should wear a parachute because you're wrong. 9 00:01:07,091 --> 00:01:08,563 Didn't you see "Dark Knight Rises"? 10 00:01:08,598 --> 00:01:10,499 You're only motivated to achieve the impossible 11 00:01:10,534 --> 00:01:12,138 once you take off the training wheels, man. 12 00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,338 Whee! - Aw, not again! 13 00:01:14,373 --> 00:01:17,836 Oh, I'm nervous about meeting your family, Mitch. 14 00:01:17,871 --> 00:01:19,739 After all, I'm a Cabbage Patch Kid, 15 00:01:19,774 --> 00:01:22,676 and your family is Garbage Pail Kids. 16 00:01:22,711 --> 00:01:24,480 There's nothing to worry about, Babette Jocelyn. 17 00:01:24,515 --> 00:01:26,009 I love you, so they will, too. 18 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,879 Oh, my baby boy! 19 00:01:27,914 --> 00:01:31,047 And this must be Babette Jocelyn! 20 00:01:31,082 --> 00:01:32,323 Come here, you! 21 00:01:32,358 --> 00:01:34,292 I'm Mitch's mom, Bloody Mary. 22 00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:36,085 Come meet the rest of the family! 23 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,395 This is my hubby, Harry Hemorrhoid. 24 00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,301 - Hi, Mitch. - Acne Amy! 25 00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:45,534 Wow! You got so tall! Bring it in here. 26 00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:49,604 Bathroom? Oh, God. 27 00:01:49,639 --> 00:01:52,244 Okay. 28 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:55,137 Babette, you can do this. 29 00:01:55,172 --> 00:01:56,248 Just breathe. 30 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:57,777 Outta the way! Get outta the way! 31 00:01:59,143 --> 00:02:01,044 Ugh! Whoa! That one's ripe! 32 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,420 Hey! You must be Babette! 33 00:02:03,455 --> 00:02:05,422 - I'm Dia- - Rita. Nice to... 34 00:02:05,457 --> 00:02:07,721 Ugh. Meet you. 35 00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:10,328 There you are! Come on. 36 00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:12,198 The rest of the family's waiting to meet you. 37 00:02:18,701 --> 00:02:19,766 That went great! 38 00:02:19,801 --> 00:02:21,702 My family loves you! I'm so glad. 39 00:02:21,737 --> 00:02:25,101 Oh, Babette, you simply must come back for Thanksgiv-- 40 00:02:25,136 --> 00:02:28,038 I'm sorry. Are you inked? 41 00:02:28,073 --> 00:02:30,073 What? That's just my Xavier Roberts tattoo. 42 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,284 This trollop has tattooed herself 43 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,813 with another man's name! 44 00:02:33,848 --> 00:02:35,012 He's my creator! 45 00:02:35,047 --> 00:02:37,322 Are you in a fucking cult?! 46 00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,588 Get out of my house at once! 47 00:02:39,623 --> 00:02:40,919 - Mitch! - Sorry, baby. 48 00:02:40,954 --> 00:02:42,888 My family think tattoos are disgusting, 49 00:02:42,923 --> 00:02:44,989 and I do, too, so y-you better go. 50 00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:48,828 I got pussed on for you! 51 00:02:48,863 --> 00:02:50,368 Well, looks like I should've got into her pants 52 00:02:50,403 --> 00:02:51,765 earlier, right, fam? 53 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,569 Fuckin' psoriasis. 54 00:02:53,604 --> 00:02:54,933 Let's see. 55 00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:56,407 Cinderella, you're here for... 56 00:02:56,442 --> 00:02:57,936 You tried to wear glass shoes. 57 00:02:57,971 --> 00:03:00,378 Honey, men don't give a shit about women's footwear. 58 00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:02,545 Next time, Wear, like, a pair of Air Jordans. 59 00:03:02,580 --> 00:03:04,745 That'll get his attention without the personal harm. 60 00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:07,143 - Those are actually pretty sick. - I know, right? 61 00:03:07,178 --> 00:03:09,387 Okay. Let's cut those feet off. 62 00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:11,884 All right. Do you know why I pulled you over? 63 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:14,018 - No, I do not. - Fuck! 64 00:03:16,726 --> 00:03:19,221 Hey. - Look at this Itsy Bitsy ass. 65 00:03:19,256 --> 00:03:21,663 Hey! Where ya goin', Itsy Bitsy?! 66 00:03:21,698 --> 00:03:23,533 - Fuck you! - Eat shit! 67 00:03:23,568 --> 00:03:26,030 - Fuck you! You eat shit! - You eat shit! 68 00:03:26,065 --> 00:03:28,835 I'm-a climb up this garden spout, you fucking asshole! 69 00:03:28,870 --> 00:03:30,969 - Better not! - Better not, asshole! 70 00:03:31,004 --> 00:03:33,004 - It's gonna rain! - Fuck you! 71 00:03:33,039 --> 00:03:35,006 Fuck you! Yeah, fuck you! 72 00:03:35,041 --> 00:03:36,348 I do what I fucking want! 73 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,515 How about that, motherfucker? 74 00:03:38,550 --> 00:03:39,681 Ya told that fuck. 75 00:03:39,716 --> 00:03:41,045 - You told him. - That fuck. 76 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,687 Oh, look! Shit fuck is back. 77 00:03:45,722 --> 00:03:47,491 - Told ya, you fuck! - Eat shit! 78 00:03:47,526 --> 00:03:49,823 - You eat shit! - Eat shit, you fuck! 79 00:03:54,698 --> 00:03:56,192 The fuck you doin' now? 80 00:03:56,227 --> 00:03:58,733 I'm-a climb up this garden spout and fuck yo' mama! 81 00:03:58,768 --> 00:03:59,932 Fuckin' kill you, you fuck! 82 00:03:59,967 --> 00:04:01,439 These is prison rules, motherfucker! 83 00:04:01,474 --> 00:04:03,309 Itsy Bitsy bitch! 84 00:04:06,237 --> 00:04:08,380 Oh, no, dear Agnarr, we're dead! 85 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,580 Oh, it pains me that our children, 86 00:04:10,615 --> 00:04:13,110 Anna and Elsa, must grow up without us. 87 00:04:13,145 --> 00:04:16,146 Oh, they'll be fine. Dead parents build character. 88 00:04:16,181 --> 00:04:18,687 Yeah, our little Tarzan was raised by gorillas after 89 00:04:18,722 --> 00:04:20,986 we were murdered by a leopard, and he turned out great. 90 00:04:21,021 --> 00:04:23,692 Ah. New dead parents. 91 00:04:23,727 --> 00:04:26,794 You are just in time for tonight's Heaven rave! 92 00:04:26,829 --> 00:04:28,664 Ooh! What's a rave? 93 00:04:30,965 --> 00:04:33,262 Oh, this is better - than any ball in Arendelle. 94 00:04:33,297 --> 00:04:35,066 I feel so free! 95 00:04:35,101 --> 00:04:36,969 Ow! Ow! Let it go, baby! 96 00:04:37,004 --> 00:04:38,905 Here comes the dump truck. 97 00:04:43,109 --> 00:04:45,208 I say this pixie dust is quite different 98 00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:46,649 than the snow - we're used to back home. 99 00:04:46,684 --> 00:04:48,618 Coral: Hey! Can I get some down here? 100 00:04:49,885 --> 00:04:52,556 I didn't get eaten by a barracuda for nothing! 101 00:04:54,186 --> 00:04:56,186 Whoo-oo! 102 00:04:56,221 --> 00:04:59,090 Who wants to butt-chug some Dole Whip?! 103 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:02,324 Whoo! 104 00:05:05,571 --> 00:05:07,967 I hope they're in a better place. 105 00:05:08,002 --> 00:05:10,772 Me too, Anna. Me too. 106 00:05:10,807 --> 00:05:12,510 Iduna: I just did my first butt chug! 107 00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:14,941 Agnarr: Being a dead parent rules! 108 00:05:14,976 --> 00:05:17,240 Barbie, I must go. I can't do this anymore. 109 00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,011 Why, Ken? Why?! 110 00:05:19,046 --> 00:05:22,751 I'm Butterfly Prince Ken. I must go be with my people. 111 00:05:22,786 --> 00:05:25,347 Flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap... 112 00:05:25,382 --> 00:05:27,052 Look, Bell, - I don't condone bestiality, 113 00:05:27,087 --> 00:05:29,087 but the fact of the matter is if you fuck a dog, 114 00:05:29,122 --> 00:05:31,188 you're going to get a yeast infection. 115 00:05:31,223 --> 00:05:34,994 Welcome, viewers! I am Dexter, boy genius! 116 00:05:35,029 --> 00:05:38,195 Today I present to you an extraordinary invention! 117 00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:42,364 This is the Mom Droid, a revolutionary new robot 118 00:05:42,399 --> 00:05:43,838 who does anything a mom can do. 119 00:05:43,873 --> 00:05:46,269 Now let's go to the phones. Hello, Gil. You're on the air. 120 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:47,479 Gil: Uh, yes. Hello. 121 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,173 First-time caller, longtime listener. 122 00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:50,581 Is she fully functional? 123 00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:52,451 Yes. Of course. She can cook and clean. 124 00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:54,783 Mom Droid, make an omelette du fromage. 125 00:05:54,818 --> 00:05:58,380 Okay. Cool. Um, but how many, uh, thrusts will you get? 126 00:05:58,415 --> 00:05:59,524 Thrusts? 127 00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:01,350 How intensely does she vibrate? 128 00:06:01,385 --> 00:06:03,286 If she is vibrating, something is wrong. 129 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,925 That means she is broken, you idiot. 130 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,895 Okay. But is it easy to clean up, you know, afterwards? 131 00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:09,897 Mom Droid, clean the kitchen. 132 00:06:09,932 --> 00:06:11,767 Awesome. I'll take one for sure. 133 00:06:11,802 --> 00:06:14,231 Excellent! Let's take another caller. Okay. 134 00:06:14,266 --> 00:06:15,540 Schlomo, you're on the air. 135 00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:18,609 Uh, she looks very real. Um, does she feel real? 136 00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:20,039 She feels like your mother. 137 00:06:20,074 --> 00:06:22,547 Okay. Cool. How big are the holes? I'm very large. 138 00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:25,209 She can burn holes into anything with her laser eyes. 139 00:06:25,244 --> 00:06:27,145 Mom Droid, blast that trash! 140 00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:29,015 Um, I'll buy one, I guess. 141 00:06:29,050 --> 00:06:30,918 And who does not want the Mom Droid? 142 00:06:30,953 --> 00:06:32,282 Hello, Larb. You're on the air. 143 00:06:32,317 --> 00:06:34,889 Uh, I got a question about the pussy sleeve. 144 00:06:34,924 --> 00:06:37,419 Is it porous? I-I'm sorry. We gotta shut this down. 145 00:06:37,454 --> 00:06:39,256 What?! We're making beaucoup bucks! 146 00:06:39,291 --> 00:06:41,599 Yeah, kid, we're not licensed to sell adult toys 147 00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:43,062 at 4:00 in the afternoon! 148 00:06:43,097 --> 00:06:45,537 She's not a toy! I designed her to look like my real mother. 149 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,198 Come on out, Mom, and say hello. 150 00:06:47,233 --> 00:06:49,574 Ugh. Go to the Lisa Rinna Duster Cardigans! 151 00:06:52,678 --> 00:06:54,744 April 1st?! The Day of Fools! 152 00:06:54,779 --> 00:06:57,208 I pity the fool who participates in April Fools' Day! 153 00:06:57,243 --> 00:06:59,914 There are too many fools to pity on this day! 154 00:06:59,949 --> 00:07:01,784 How about this? Mr. T gonna start his day. 155 00:07:01,819 --> 00:07:03,148 Ha ha! 156 00:07:03,183 --> 00:07:05,018 Hm. Time to check Mr. T's e-mail. 157 00:07:05,053 --> 00:07:07,625 Ah. Look at this here. My friend Gary just e-mailed me 158 00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:09,528 a link to a new children's charity. 159 00:07:10,256 --> 00:07:12,861 Oh! It's a fool's giant ding-a-ling! 160 00:07:12,896 --> 00:07:14,192 I hate this day! 161 00:07:14,227 --> 00:07:15,963 I'm now a fool I pity. 162 00:07:15,998 --> 00:07:18,361 I pity me -- Mr. T! 163 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,396 Announcer: Running a summer camp for kittens 164 00:07:20,431 --> 00:07:21,969 seemed like the perfect business venture. 165 00:07:22,004 --> 00:07:23,905 Oh, they're so cute! 166 00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:25,676 And the best part is Jason Voorhees 167 00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:27,271 should leave us alone this year 168 00:07:27,306 --> 00:07:29,306 since he didn't suffer any childhood psychological trauma 169 00:07:29,341 --> 00:07:31,110 related to kittens. That we know of. 170 00:07:31,145 --> 00:07:32,518 But little did they know... 171 00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:34,883 Woman: Teenagers are filthy, Jason! 172 00:07:34,918 --> 00:07:38,315 Greasy hormones - spewing all over the place! 173 00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:40,592 They must be punished! 174 00:07:43,289 --> 00:07:46,422 Okay. This teenager's a fucking dork. Next window. 175 00:07:47,799 --> 00:07:50,536 Aah! Sluts! Kitten sluts! 176 00:08:00,812 --> 00:08:02,207 Announcer: Somewhere along the way, 177 00:08:02,242 --> 00:08:04,143 these movies stopped being shocking, 178 00:08:04,178 --> 00:08:06,684 but we're pretty sure we're onto something here. 179 00:08:08,182 --> 00:08:10,721 Ha ha! Welcome to my house. 180 00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:12,151 Why is it full of sick kids? 181 00:08:12,186 --> 00:08:14,791 Oh, that's not your thing? What -- What -- What's your thing? 182 00:08:14,826 --> 00:08:16,859 Sexy clowns. Mm! 183 00:08:16,894 --> 00:08:18,487 Alright. Well, that -- that checks out. 184 00:08:18,522 --> 00:08:20,291 Well, h-help me - wheel them out onto the lawn. 185 00:08:20,326 --> 00:08:22,359 The sprinklers don't kick on for another 20 minutes. 186 00:08:22,394 --> 00:08:25,395 Why do you smell like Mommy's acid-washed jean jacket 187 00:08:25,430 --> 00:08:28,497 when she comes home from the Morongo Casino, Resort & Spa? 188 00:08:28,532 --> 00:08:30,169 Good times! 189 00:08:30,204 --> 00:08:31,808 Shut the fuck up and go back to sleep! 190 00:08:31,843 --> 00:08:33,403 I'm gonna -- Yeah. This is creepy. Bye. 191 00:08:33,438 --> 00:08:36,010 W-Where are you going?! Come on. Where you go-- Ugh. 192 00:08:36,045 --> 00:08:38,177 Okay. Your chart says you sold your soul to hook up with 193 00:08:38,212 --> 00:08:41,411 a dude you met in a shipwreck, and now you can't talk. 194 00:08:41,446 --> 00:08:43,919 Kids will do anything to get to bone town these days, huh? 195 00:08:43,954 --> 00:08:47,549 Now, say, "Ahh." Say, "Ahh." 196 00:08:47,584 --> 00:08:49,760 Can you do that? Oh, right. Right. 197 00:08:49,795 --> 00:08:51,828 Sorry. - It's been a very long day. 198 00:10:21,612 --> 00:10:22,721 Chicken: 199 00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:23,953 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 200 00:10:23,988 --> 00:10:25,790 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 201 00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:27,022 Chickens: 202 00:10:27,057 --> 00:10:28,254 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 203 00:10:28,289 --> 00:10:30,124 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 204 00:10:30,159 --> 00:10:32,489 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 205 00:10:32,524 --> 00:10:34,359 ♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 206 00:10:34,394 --> 00:10:35,459 Chicken: Ba-gawk! 207 00:10:35,494 --> 00:10:36,966 Man: Bawk. 208 00:10:38,629 --> 00:10:41,201 - I don't see him! - Ha! I knew he wouldn't do it. 209 00:10:41,236 --> 00:10:42,598 Give me all your money, penguins! 210 00:10:42,633 --> 00:10:43,775 Oh, no! 211 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,668 Penguin: I can't fly! Splat! 212 00:10:46,703 --> 00:10:48,406 Wow! He saved us! 213 00:10:48,441 --> 00:10:50,441 Just like Batman! 214 00:10:55,415 --> 00:10:58,416 So, uh, what? We ding his estate for the 50 bucks? 215 00:10:58,451 --> 00:10:59,923 Yeah. Let's go confront his widow.