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00:00:08,307 --> 00:00:10,538
[ Theme music playing ]
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[ Laughs ]
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[ Lever clicks ]
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♪
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Man: It's alive!
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[ Robot chicken clucking ]
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♪
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[ Laughing evilly ]
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♪
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Ghost Rider,
the tribe has spoken.
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Oh,
damn you all to hell.
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[ Bell rings ]
13
00:00:48,941 --> 00:00:50,347
Listen up, you little brats.
14
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Your antics at recess
have been
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entirely too wild,
zany, and satirical.
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So today I brought in a guest
to scare you straight.
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Mr. Davidson.
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Holy whomps,
that guy is jacked.
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I had a lot of time to work out
when I was in the big house.
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Whoa,
you were in prison?
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I sure was.
Locked up in a cage,
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no say in what I eat,
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only allowed outside
for an hour a day.
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Tender.
In prison, you get a whole hour
of recess every day?!
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Galileo, how much more recess
is that
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than our current
amount of recess?
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Approximately 319 more hours
of recess per year.
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Wow! Prison is
like recess heaven!
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Ooh, let's do some crimes
so that we can all go to prison!
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- Yeah!
- Yeah! Anarchy!
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Please don't tell
- my parole officer about this.
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Goodnight, moon.
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Goodnight,
cow leaping over the moon.
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Goodnight, clock.
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Goodnight, painting.
Goodnight, wall.
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Goodnight, rug.
Goodnight, crumbs on the floor.
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Man: Will you just shut up
and go the hell to sleep?!
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Damn it, every night
we go through this!
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You live in
an apartment complex!
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Have some common courtesy,
my God!
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[ Crying ]
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Oh, you guys look
more depressed than me,
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a famously
depressed donkey.
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Oh, Eeyore,
it's horrible.
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Melancholia's
going to destroy us all.
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Oh, yeah. Too bad they don't
make SSRIs for stuffed animals.
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No, the rogue planet Melancholia
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that's headed
straight for Earth.
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Well, that's just... wonderful.
50
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But we're all gonna
d-d-die!
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I do not mourn
the Hundred Acre Wood.
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All I've known here
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is the misery of having a tail
that will not stay on
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and a house
that refuses to stand up.
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Let us embrace death together,
my friends.
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Oh, bother,
that's bleak.
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Ohhh.
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♪
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Oh, dear!
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What happened?
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It must have
burnt up on entry.
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We're saved!
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Oh, fuck me.
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00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:03,678
Reporter: We can now confirm
reports that Princess Diana
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has died today
in a motor vehicle accident.
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Diana may be dead,
but her legacy will live on
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through me,
the Princess Diana Beanie Baby.
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♪
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I can't believe
- I finally got my braces off!
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Oh, my God.
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Braceface,
- what are we gonna call you
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if you don't have braces
anymore?
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Just Face?
- You're right.
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Without my braces,
who am I?
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Help me, Maria!
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[ Screaming ]
Ow, ow, ow!
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I'm back, baby.
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Call my dentist.
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Mama needs some fresh
mouth metal.
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Oh, Alita, it's so neato Dr. Ido
let me join you to eat-o.
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I'm a great cook,
if I do say so myself.
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Oh, Hugo,
that looks good.
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Wait, are these
my contact lenses?
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These things are 300 space bucks
a pair, you scrap scavenger!
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Narrator:
If you give a mouse a cookie,
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he will accept it.
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If he accepts a cookie,
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he will get spammed.
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If he gets spammed,
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he will be asked to buy
penis enlargement pills.
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If he buys penis
enlargement pills,
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he will grow a ♪ super dong ♪
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If he grows a super dong,
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he will get a job
doing weird fetish porn.
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If you get a job doing
weird fetish porn,
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he will get discovered
by a sleazy Hollywood producer.
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If he gets noticed by
a sleazy Hollywood producer,
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he will transition
into legitimate movies.
99
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If he transitions
into legitimate movies,
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audiences will be
grossed out by his giant dong.
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If audiences are grossed out
by his giant dong,
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he will be blacklisted
from Hollywood.
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If he is blacklisted
from Hollywood,
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he won't have money to spend
on penis enlargement pills.
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If he doesn't have money
to spend
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on penis enlargement pills,
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his giant dong will shrivel up
and fall off.
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00:04:52,657 --> 00:04:55,526
And if his giant dong
shrivels up and falls off,
109
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then a bird will think
it's a worm.
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And if a bird thinks
it's a wor--
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What do you mean,
- they canceled our show, T-Bone?
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We're the Extreme Dinosaurs.
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No one wants to watch a group
of ripped dinosaurs fight crime
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when there's already ripped
Street Sharks that fight crime.
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And don't forget ripped mutant
ninja turtles that fight crime.
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The jacked Biker Mice from Mars
that fight crime.
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Let's face it, boys,
we're practically fossils.
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I beg to differ.
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John Hammond, paleontologist,
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theme park impresario,
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and subject of
the world's first
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dinosaur-based
class-action lawsuit.
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I have an idea
I think could benefit us both.
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His last idea went off
without a hitch.
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Go on.
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Believe me,
their dinosaur bods
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are the only thing
that are Jurassic.
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I'm talking about their penises.
Huge cocks. Enjoy.
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- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah, baby.
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Give me my rent money.
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Honestly, this is way more
fulfilling the fighting crime.
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Yeah, I definitely like being
paid for my body.
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I have a dollar bill
up my butthole.
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Jinkies!
- Zoinks!
- Roinks!
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Bingo-bango!
Alakazam!
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Dude.
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Did you two just try to
use exclamatory catchphrases?
138
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You guys are always doing them,
so we thought why not try it?
139
00:06:07,259 --> 00:06:09,259
But, like, dude,
that's our thing.
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Jesus, you guys are the hot fun.
We're the awkward ones.
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Our catchphrases
are all we have.
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Yeah.
And "Bingo-bango"? "Alakazam"?
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Come on, man.
Reave it to the pros.
144
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We can come up with
something better.
145
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Hmm. I don't know.
146
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Aah!
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Jinkies!
- Zoinks!
- Roinks!
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Gunky-bunky!
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Daddy issues!
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♪
151
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Uh, Daph, did you
just yell "daddy issues"?
152
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I'm bad at improv,
okay?!
153
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[ Cackles ]
154
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Zoinks!
Roly ruck!
155
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It's the Old Town Spook!
Jinkies!
156
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Bazinga!
157
00:06:40,127 --> 00:06:41,566
No, that's
"The Big Bang Theory."
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[ Sputtering ]
- Uh, Daph?
159
00:06:43,867 --> 00:06:45,867
Daphne! No!
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Those two should
really just stick to being hot.
161
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Why are we stampeding?
162
00:06:52,139 --> 00:06:54,579
So, Ralph's kid
yelled hyena again,
163
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:57,340
and all of a sudden, Shirley
just took off stampeding.
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Shirley's all stampeding.
165
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Take a Xanax, Shirley,
honest to God.
166
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Mufasa: Help me, brother!
167
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Aaah!
168
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,624
Bill, I think we just ran over
a full-grown lion.
169
00:07:06,659 --> 00:07:08,054
No,
it was a rock.
170
00:07:08,089 --> 00:07:11,662
If that was a rock, then why is
my hoof covered in brains?
171
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Maybe the lion was carrying
an extra brain?
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I don't know.
Oh, no!
173
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Oh, we should see if
he's okay.
174
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You just hoof-stomped his skull.
Do you think he's okay?
175
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Just keep going!
176
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We should at least leave a note.
It's common courtesy.
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Alright, merging right.
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Get out of my way.
Get -- Let me over.
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♪
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Father!
181
00:07:33,048 --> 00:07:34,586
[ Crying ]
182
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Huh?
183
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Well, at least they left a note.
That's common courtesy.
184
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Are you sure
we don't need to
185
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:42,858
pack everything up
for the movers?
186
00:07:42,893 --> 00:07:44,893
Apparently, this place
does it all.
187
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[ Doorbell rings ]
188
00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:47,863
Hi. Come on in.
189
00:07:47,898 --> 00:07:49,326
Okay.
- Oh, okay.
190
00:07:49,361 --> 00:07:50,932
Watch where you're going.
If you --
191
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Easy. Watch the wall.
192
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Please not the baby!
193
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Aah!
194
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Those were
wedding presents.
195
00:07:57,039 --> 00:07:58,269
That was my mother's.
196
00:07:58,304 --> 00:08:00,304
[ Dog yelps ]
197
00:08:00,339 --> 00:08:01,910
[ Both scream ]
198
00:08:01,945 --> 00:08:03,373
What the fuck, Ryan?
199
00:08:03,408 --> 00:08:05,276
I had a promo code!
200
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:06,948
Everyone, listen.
201
00:08:06,983 --> 00:08:09,016
The people of St. Olaf
are in trouble,
202
00:08:09,051 --> 00:08:10,182
and they need our help.
203
00:08:10,217 --> 00:08:12,250
Gosh, that reminds me of a time
in St. Olaf.
204
00:08:12,285 --> 00:08:16,452
Of course it does, Rose, because
it takes place in St. Olaf.
205
00:08:16,487 --> 00:08:17,695
If we agree to help,
206
00:08:17,730 --> 00:08:19,829
will you spare us
the long and detailed story?
207
00:08:19,864 --> 00:08:23,734
Absolutely. Just don't forget
your oxygen masks.
208
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:25,934
Why?
- Because
St. Olaf is in space.
209
00:08:25,969 --> 00:08:28,530
Now, those details
we could have used.
210
00:08:28,565 --> 00:08:31,104
♪
211
00:08:31,139 --> 00:08:33,139
How are we just now
hearing this?
212
00:08:33,174 --> 00:08:35,240
Actually, if you listen,
the seeds were planted.
213
00:08:35,275 --> 00:08:37,847
St. Olaf had a black hole
on Main Street.
214
00:08:37,882 --> 00:08:40,146
Everyone in town would gather
and stare at it.
215
00:08:40,181 --> 00:08:43,446
In St. Olaf, the Fenderhooven
rocket sure was a beaut.
216
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:46,350
My birth certificate says
I was born in St. Olaf.
217
00:08:46,385 --> 00:08:48,484
Oh, yeah, that last one
proves nothing.
218
00:08:48,519 --> 00:08:51,828
Unless I had my finger
over the "AR" in "star."
219
00:08:51,863 --> 00:08:55,326
I'd like to have my finger
over your windpipe.
220
00:08:55,361 --> 00:08:58,736
[ Laughter ]
221
00:08:58,771 --> 00:09:01,706
We're like those
old-timer space cowgirls.
222
00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:03,268
Although I can
tell you firsthand,
223
00:09:03,303 --> 00:09:07,173
it isn't nearly as exciting
as reverse space cowgirl.
224
00:09:07,208 --> 00:09:09,208
Rose,
how did we never notice
225
00:09:09,243 --> 00:09:11,815
a Fenderhooven rocket
in the garage?
226
00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:13,014
With a tarp over it,
227
00:09:13,049 --> 00:09:15,819
everyone assumed it was
one of Blanche's dildos.
228
00:09:15,854 --> 00:09:18,382
All my tarped dildos
are in the basement.
229
00:09:18,417 --> 00:09:21,726
We should be exiting
the black hole any minute now.
230
00:09:23,554 --> 00:09:26,258
Oh, honey,
that's low-hanging fruit.
231
00:09:26,293 --> 00:09:28,898
Ma,
you wandered off again.
232
00:09:28,933 --> 00:09:30,702
You're not supposed
to get out of your seat.
233
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:31,868
Listen here,
big fella.
234
00:09:31,903 --> 00:09:33,397
This rocket isn't the only thing
that needs
235
00:09:33,432 --> 00:09:35,036
to release its undercarriage.
236
00:09:35,071 --> 00:09:38,336
Somebody tell me what are those
giant pods in the back there?
237
00:09:38,371 --> 00:09:39,601
Giant pods?
238
00:09:39,636 --> 00:09:42,978
Oh, yeah. I assumed Blanche
was harvesting her eggs.
239
00:09:43,013 --> 00:09:46,608
You see? I thought this ship
had a case of hemorrhoids.
240
00:09:46,643 --> 00:09:50,447
♪
241
00:09:50,482 --> 00:09:52,317
Wish I could say
this was a first.
242
00:09:52,352 --> 00:09:55,419
Rose, what did you say
the problem was
243
00:09:55,454 --> 00:09:58,422
on St. -- sorry,
Star Olaf?
244
00:09:58,457 --> 00:10:01,359
Oh, they're being colonized
by an alien species
245
00:10:01,394 --> 00:10:04,032
that is incubating their babies
inside humans.
246
00:10:04,067 --> 00:10:05,033
[ All scream ]
247
00:10:05,068 --> 00:10:06,529
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
248
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:12,205
Rose, enough about Earth.
Just tell us what happened!
249
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,438
Well, as you know,
Dorothy took down
250
00:10:14,473 --> 00:10:16,814
the mother alien
all by herself.
251
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:20,312
Blanche volunteered to be
impregnated with all the eggs,
252
00:10:20,347 --> 00:10:23,117
saving our people
from being hosts.
253
00:10:23,152 --> 00:10:26,417
And Sophia I met a robot
named Bob in the black hole,
254
00:10:26,452 --> 00:10:28,122
whom she wound up marrying.
255
00:10:28,157 --> 00:10:31,653
Say, whatever happened
to the studio audience?
256
00:10:31,688 --> 00:10:34,161
Oh, they got sucked into
the black hole
257
00:10:34,196 --> 00:10:35,426
and died.
258
00:10:35,461 --> 00:10:36,493
[ Laughter ]
259
00:10:36,528 --> 00:10:38,099
Triumphant laughter. Credits.
260
00:10:38,134 --> 00:10:39,199
Chicken:
261
00:10:39,234 --> 00:10:40,431
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
262
00:10:40,466 --> 00:10:42,367
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
263
00:10:42,402 --> 00:10:43,434
Chickens:
264
00:10:43,469 --> 00:10:44,666
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
265
00:10:44,701 --> 00:10:46,602
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
266
00:10:46,637 --> 00:10:49,044
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
267
00:10:49,079 --> 00:10:50,848
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
268
00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:52,278
Chicken:
Ba-gawk!
269
00:10:52,313 --> 00:10:53,686
Man: Bawk.