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00:00:08,373 --> 00:00:10,142
[ Theme music playing ]
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00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:12,606
[ Laughs ]
3
00:00:12,641 --> 00:00:23,551
♪
4
00:00:23,586 --> 00:00:25,685
Man:
It's alive!
5
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[ Robot chicken clucking ]
6
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♪
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Huhnmorder:
[ Laughing evilly ]
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♪
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[ Down-tempo music plays ]
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♪
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00:00:55,849 --> 00:00:58,652
You know, I you like
you're fat-shaming me.
12
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Ball pit!
Whoo!
13
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Help!
Aah!
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[ Bagpipes playing ]
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♪
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Aha!
Mojo Jojo is in jail now
17
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but will break out to fight
the Powerpuff Girls again
18
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for you to put in jail again --
No. Wait.
19
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Is that Mojo Jojo's life?
Oh, my God.
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Mojo Jojo needs to sit down
for a minute.
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Shut up, monkey!
It's not our problem!
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But maybe if Townsville
funneled more resources
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into rehabilitative justice,
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he'd grow from a villain
into a civilian.
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All Mojo Jojo wants in life
is a stable home and career,
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maybe start a pottery shop
in Santa Fe.
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You know, one where all they
sell are turquoise necklaces.
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But Mojo Jojo has
no other choice now.
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God damn it!
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The punitive justice system
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never gave him the chance
to grow!
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How did we become part
of such a terrible cycle?
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[ Gasps ]
The mayor.
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Girls!
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Fuzzy Lumpkins is plotting
to poison the Townsville River!
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You mean the destitute
banjo player
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forced to live in the forest due
to your city gentrification?!
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Angry-face punch!
Ha!
- Ow!
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Maybe if you cared about more
than just the Townsville 1%,
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Fuzzy could contribute
to society!
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Ooh! Girls!
I'm a good guy!
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Oh, Mayor.
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You're not a good guy.
You're a bootlicker.
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Narrator:
And so Townsville is saved
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from its greatest villain yet,
The Man!
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Okay.
- It's pure adrenaline, Vincent.
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You stab it
right into her heart.
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One, two, three.
Syringe!
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[ Birds chirping ]
Oh, yeah.
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I guess feet don't have hearts.
Sorry, buddy.
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[ Sobs ]
She was just...so sexy.
52
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[ Surf-rock guitar plays ]
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So what's the dealie
with MJ?
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You're difficult to track down,
Spider-Man.
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Aah! Nick Fury?
- Why did you tranquilize Ned?
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It was gonna be
a kick-ass reveal for me.
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Look.
Maybe he's okay.
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Oh, Mr. Fury,
those are his brains!
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It's okay!
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I've read that humans use
like 10% of their brains.
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Maybe this is the --
Shit.
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Maybe this is the part
he doesn't use.
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Lights out, boys.
Aah!
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[ Gunshot ]
Aah!
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Oh, so many brains!
[ Gasps ]
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MJ, no!
Mr. Fury!
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Aw, Mr. Fury!
- That wasn't me!
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See, this coffee table
shouldn't -- Okay.
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Uh...motherfucker!
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Mm.
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[ Laughs ]
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[ Suspenseful music plays ]
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[ Dramatic music plays ]
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Get over here!
[ Grunts ]
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I don't know
if you noticed,
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but, uh, when I was
digging around in there,
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I think I saw something.
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Something?
What, like a lump?
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Saying you saw something
is, like,
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some heavy shit
- to drop on someone, man.
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Let me take another look!
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You might want to bite down
on something.
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[ Grunts ]
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I'm not really seeing anything.
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Maybe the light
might have hit it weird.
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Are you kidding?
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I'm looking for
a real answer, bro.
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Okay, okay.
- Uh, let me dig a little deeper.
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[ Grunts ]
Slam!
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Oh! Ah!
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Looks like the tip
of my spear
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got tangled around your spine
all weird
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and made a funky shadow.
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Uh, looks like the coast
is clear, buddy!
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Finish him!
- Really?
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Come on. Finish him.
- Mm.
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Okay.
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Fatality!
Scorpion wins.
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[ Dramatic music plays ]
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[ Grunts ]
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Did hit me
with your butt?
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[ Voice distorted ]
Ow!
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[ Normal voice ]
Ow! My teeth!
Hi. I'm Nightwing.
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Have you ever wished for a
delicious-looking superhero butt
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like mine?
106
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Make that wish come true
with Nightbutt.
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It's the first all-in-one
butt exerciser
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that's sure to sculpt, tone,
109
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and train your glutes
to take out brutes.
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You'll learn moves like...
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Ow!
112
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And, of course...
[ Farts ]
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So tight!
114
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So get your rear in gear
and get the Nightbutt!
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Tell 'em Dick sent ya. Nightbutt.
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[ Mid-tempo music plays,
bell chimes ]
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Can you read the top line?
I tawt I taw a puddy tat!
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No.
That's an "H."
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I'm wegally bwind.
120
00:05:02,766 --> 00:05:05,030
...and after I returned
the last Infinity Stone,
121
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I came here to the past
to spend my life with you.
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I don't know what that will do
to the timeline,
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so I got to be careful.
124
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As long as we're together,
it doesn't matter.
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[ Grunts ]
Boy.
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Okay.
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I changed the oil,
mowed the lawn,
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and repaired
the garage door.
129
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Oh, I w-would have helped out.
But you know that timeline.
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[ Burps ]
- Oh, my God.
131
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Did you pee in these?
- Yeah.
132
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Couldn't risk the timeline
by walking to the bathroom.
133
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Then how did you get
those snacks?
134
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I bounce this fine-china serving
tray off several walls
135
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into the kitchen
as if it's my shield.
136
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It collects all my snacks,
bounces back to my hand.
137
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Watch.
[ Glass breaking ]
138
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It works
when you're not here.
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[ Down-tempo music plays ]
Steve! You're back!
140
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And I brought you something, Sam.
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Your shield!
142
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I sold my shield for snacks,
but this works just as well.
143
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And it's yours now, Sam.
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Gee. Thanks!
145
00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:56,719
A fine-china
serving tray
146
00:05:56,754 --> 00:05:58,688
that looks hastily
glued together.
147
00:05:58,723 --> 00:06:01,526
You know what a guy forgets
about 1945, Sam?
148
00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,924
The snacks.
They're terrible.
149
00:06:03,959 --> 00:06:06,289
Hey, do we still have
that vending machine in HQ?
150
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:08,357
We do.
It actually survived --
Oh, great!
151
00:06:08,392 --> 00:06:10,194
I'm gonna get
some Sour Patch Kids.
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You want anything?
- I'm good.
153
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Fantastic.
Now watch this drive.
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00:06:13,738 --> 00:06:15,870
[ Birds chirping,
glass breaking ]
155
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Are you okay?
156
00:06:17,071 --> 00:06:19,676
I made a terrible mistake, Sam.
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[ Dramatic music plays ]
158
00:06:21,977 --> 00:06:23,075
Holy shit!
159
00:06:23,110 --> 00:06:24,846
I found a way
to save Moo Moo Farm!
160
00:06:24,881 --> 00:06:27,948
- They're paying us 20
- K just to have some go-karts
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whiz around the property
a few times!
162
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That's amazin'!
163
00:06:31,316 --> 00:06:34,218
Should we clear the cows
and gophers from the roads?
164
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Nah! How much trouble
could they cause?
165
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[ Up-tempo music plays,
engines revving ]
166
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Aah!
Oh, my God!
167
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Oh, my Lord!
168
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[ Video game beeping,
gophers chirping ]
169
00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:44,965
Oh, no!
The gophers!
170
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:48,364
[ Engines revving,
alarm blaring ]
171
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My house!
172
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My crops!
173
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I'm-a gonna win!
174
00:06:53,041 --> 00:06:55,910
Come on!
Time for-a Koopa Troopa Beach!
175
00:06:55,945 --> 00:06:57,747
It's gone!
It's all gone!
176
00:06:57,782 --> 00:06:58,781
Maybe not! Look!
177
00:06:58,816 --> 00:07:00,717
They left
one of those rainbow boxes.
178
00:07:00,752 --> 00:07:02,752
Maybe something inside
can help us.
179
00:07:02,787 --> 00:07:04,985
Nellie, no! That question mark
is upside down!
180
00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:06,921
Oh, God!
Nellie!
181
00:07:06,956 --> 00:07:08,956
Young man:
Hey, at least her head's here.
Dad can work with that.
182
00:07:08,991 --> 00:07:10,419
[ Gopher chirping ]
Oh! Nellie!
183
00:07:10,454 --> 00:07:11,662
Oh, dear!
184
00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:13,796
My pound has
too many cute animals.
185
00:07:13,831 --> 00:07:15,424
They'll never be adopted.
186
00:07:15,459 --> 00:07:17,426
My alligator farm
is broke.
187
00:07:17,461 --> 00:07:19,901
All my alligators
are gonna starve!
188
00:07:19,936 --> 00:07:23,201
Did we just solve
each other's problems?
Did we just solve
each other's problems?
189
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Narrator:
And so the alligator farm
190
00:07:25,238 --> 00:07:28,239
set aside space for the pound
to offer animal adoptions,
191
00:07:28,274 --> 00:07:32,177
and the adoption fees went
toward feeding the alligators.
192
00:07:32,212 --> 00:07:34,817
Wait. Did you expect they would
feed the pound animals
193
00:07:34,852 --> 00:07:35,983
to the alligators?
194
00:07:36,018 --> 00:07:37,523
Oh. Wow.
My God.
195
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:40,317
You seem very jaded
and worn down by the world.
196
00:07:40,352 --> 00:07:44,057
Try to take some time each day
to meditate.
197
00:07:44,092 --> 00:07:46,290
I hate office
Christmas parties.
198
00:07:46,325 --> 00:07:48,666
Yeah. Why does Alice always get
so aggressive?
199
00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:52,494
Dilbert, is your dick curved
like your tie,
200
00:07:52,529 --> 00:07:55,332
or is your tie curved
like your dick?
201
00:07:55,367 --> 00:07:58,170
Now, now.
Leave Dilbert's tie alone.
202
00:07:58,205 --> 00:08:01,140
It is literally the only
interesting thing about him.
203
00:08:01,175 --> 00:08:02,339
It is not!
204
00:08:02,374 --> 00:08:06,948
Lazy, stupid, violent,
evil, scary, genius, necktie.
205
00:08:06,983 --> 00:08:08,411
I see your point.
206
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:11,821
I'm Hal Bruber,
international terrorist.
[ Crowd gasps ]
207
00:08:11,856 --> 00:08:13,889
Which one of you is the boss?
208
00:08:13,924 --> 00:08:15,693
[ Laughs ]
The joke's on you.
209
00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:18,564
This is a socialist collective.
210
00:08:19,490 --> 00:08:21,325
Oh, fuck you guys.
211
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,031
I demand to know the combination
to the safe.
212
00:08:24,066 --> 00:08:25,670
Whoa!
We have a safe?
213
00:08:25,705 --> 00:08:28,574
Don't ask me. I don't have
any qualifications for this job.
214
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:31,236
I wouldn't even know
what to put inside a safe.
215
00:08:31,271 --> 00:08:33,403
Nobody knows what we do
at this company.
216
00:08:33,438 --> 00:08:35,174
Hey, Carol, what do we do
at this company?
217
00:08:35,209 --> 00:08:36,615
[ Dramatic music plays ]
[ Gunshot ]
218
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:37,814
[ Crowd gasps ]
Oh, my!
219
00:08:37,849 --> 00:08:39,651
Someone's gonna get written up
for that.
220
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,543
[ Gunshot ]
That's not good.
221
00:08:41,578 --> 00:08:42,786
[ Gunshots, crowd shouting ]
222
00:08:42,821 --> 00:08:44,315
Alice:
Festive!
223
00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:46,251
[ Crowd screams ]
224
00:08:46,286 --> 00:08:48,726
Let's make a break for it.
[ Glass shatters ]
225
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:51,223
Nah. I want to see
who gets shot next.
226
00:08:51,258 --> 00:08:56,195
♪
227
00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:58,065
[ Gasps ]
[ Gunshots ]
228
00:08:58,100 --> 00:08:59,264
Asok was right.
229
00:08:59,299 --> 00:09:02,366
This necktie is literally
all I have going for me.
230
00:09:02,401 --> 00:09:04,335
Hello?
I need help!
231
00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:06,612
The terrorists are going to
kill everyone.
232
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,977
Look, it's not like we get
a special cop bonus
233
00:09:09,012 --> 00:09:11,078
if everyone survives
in there.
234
00:09:11,113 --> 00:09:13,146
Do whatever.
235
00:09:13,181 --> 00:09:14,785
♪
236
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:16,479
At last!
237
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:19,922
You're not a terrorist at all.
You're just a thief!
238
00:09:19,957 --> 00:09:22,661
It's not stealing if you're
taking back what's yours!
239
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:23,992
Reveal!
240
00:09:24,027 --> 00:09:27,061
Television and musical
sensation Jim Rash?
241
00:09:27,096 --> 00:09:28,557
I'm Scott Adams, shithead,
242
00:09:28,592 --> 00:09:30,526
creator of the Dilbert
comic strip!
243
00:09:30,561 --> 00:09:33,199
And within this box is
all the good will from readers
244
00:09:33,234 --> 00:09:34,970
I've built up
after decades!
245
00:09:35,005 --> 00:09:36,840
[ Gunshots ]
246
00:09:36,875 --> 00:09:38,842
[ Dramatic music plays ]
247
00:09:38,877 --> 00:09:41,603
What possible use could you have
for reader good will?
248
00:09:41,638 --> 00:09:43,913
The more readers remember
enjoying my comic,
249
00:09:43,948 --> 00:09:46,575
the more they'll tolerate me
when I say things like,
250
00:09:46,610 --> 00:09:49,017
"White men are being erased
from this culture!"
251
00:09:49,052 --> 00:09:51,580
Why would you even want to say
something like that?
252
00:09:51,615 --> 00:09:53,021
Because it's true!
253
00:09:53,056 --> 00:09:56,156
My Dilbert cartoon on UPN
was canceled because I'm white!
254
00:09:56,191 --> 00:09:57,421
But it wasn't funny.
255
00:09:57,456 --> 00:09:59,797
It didn't have to be funny!
I'm white!
256
00:09:59,832 --> 00:10:01,590
That used to be
all you needed!
257
00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:03,834
I think you'd better check
the box again.
258
00:10:03,869 --> 00:10:05,396
What the...
[ Gun cocks ]
259
00:10:05,431 --> 00:10:08,564
Huh?
- Buddy, there's not enough
reader good will in the world
260
00:10:08,599 --> 00:10:11,006
to shield you
from your own wack ass.
261
00:10:11,041 --> 00:10:12,634
No, Dilbert!
- Sneak attack!
262
00:10:12,669 --> 00:10:13,338
Blam!
263
00:10:13,373 --> 00:10:16,176
[ Screaming ]
264
00:10:16,211 --> 00:10:17,507
[ Alarm blaring ]
265
00:10:17,542 --> 00:10:20,576
Well, he died power-humping
an authority symbol.
266
00:10:20,611 --> 00:10:24,052
Very white male way to go.
Got to respect that.
267
00:10:25,220 --> 00:10:28,320
Gun-butt!
Who's boring now, asshole?
268
00:10:28,355 --> 00:10:29,695
And for the record,
269
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,961
[ Zipper opens ]
...the tie is shaped like my...
270
00:10:31,996 --> 00:10:33,061
Chicken:
271
00:10:33,096 --> 00:10:34,293
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
272
00:10:34,328 --> 00:10:36,196
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
273
00:10:36,231 --> 00:10:37,263
Chickens:
274
00:10:37,298 --> 00:10:38,495
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
275
00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:40,431
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
276
00:10:40,466 --> 00:10:42,873
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
277
00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:44,666
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
278
00:10:44,701 --> 00:10:46,107
Chicken:
Ba-gawk!
279
00:10:46,142 --> 00:10:47,504
Man:
Bawk.
280
00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:51,475
[ Sighs ]
281
00:10:51,510 --> 00:10:53,818
[ Birds chirping ]