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[ Theme music plays ]
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[ Laughs ]
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Man: It's alive!
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♪♪
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[ Laughs ]
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♪♪
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[ Laughs ]
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[ Grunting ]
Congratulations.
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You're the very first human
to make it to heaven.
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[ Noisemakers blow ]
[ Grunting ]
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I'm so excited
that you're here.
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These are for you.
I made it myself. This, too.
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It's all pretty
self-explanatory.
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Um, okay,
enjoy eternal paradise.
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[ Grunting ]
Uh, let me get that
started for you.
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[ Screaming ]
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Ah, people are
going to love this.
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Ah, it looks so calm
and blue from up here, don't it?
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But the ocean's
the deadliest place on Earth.
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[ Gun clicks ]
[ Grunts ]
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[ Screaming ]
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[ Gun clicks ]
Aah!
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[ Gun cocks ]
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[ Guns cock ]
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[ Growls ]
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[ Roars ]
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[ Chattering ]
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[ Growls ]
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[ Gun cocks ]
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[ Grunts ]
I bet this fish
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has seen some shit.
34
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We, the Sons of Anarchy,
need new blood.
35
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Our brothers
keep getting shot,
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run over, or infected
with gonorrhea.
37
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:16,068
I got three new prospects,
but they're kind of weird.
38
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[ Engines rev ]
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Biker Mice from Mars?
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Originally from Mars,
then Chicago for a bit,
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then an unsuccessful reboot
back on Mars again.
42
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Careful, Jax, we don't
want to let in a rat.
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Rat?
My mama didn't raise no rat.
44
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Hey, relax. To survive
all the organized crime
45
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that, for some reason,
is centered
46
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in this one small town
in California, we need numbers.
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Let's see if they work out.
48
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Oh, they definitely work out.
Look at those abs.
49
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That mouse has never touched
a piece of cheese in his life.
50
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All in favor
of the new recruits?
51
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-Aye.
-Yes to the weirdos.
52
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Here we come,
and we got lasers.
53
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[ Chuckles ]
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♪ Open road ridin'
laser pirate ♪
55
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[ Cat meows ]
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You watch out
for that kitty cat there.
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-[ Speaks indistinctly ]
-Oh, God!
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And that, boys,
is why we wear helmets.
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[ Beeping ]
60
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[ Buzzer ]
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[ Snarling ]
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Wow, I really used to sound
like that.
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Luckily, I found Al Kaplan's
alien-accent reduction course
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Who here feels
they've been judged
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because of the way
they speak?
[ Growls ]
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Over the next four weeks,
my vocal command course
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will transform
your weird alien sounds
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into perfect English.
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[ Growls ]
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E.T. phone home.
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First-person singular.
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I phone home.
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Nicely done.
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Before Al,
I was unemployed,
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living in a swamp.
76
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Virtually no love life.
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Hurt did it
went from heaven you fell?
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Hmm? [ Gasps ]
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Since mastering my speech,
I started a business,
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bought a better swamp,
and got engaged.
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Remember,
change your speech...
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All: Change your life.
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Thanks, Al.
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I'm not sure
which birth control to use.
85
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What's the pill like?
86
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Why don't I
let it tell you?
87
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♪ Well, I'm a pill ♪
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♪ An important little pill ♪
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♪ I keep your body
free from babies ♪
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♪ When your dude
can't hold his splooge spill ♪
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♪ When the sperms
enter the uterus ♪
92
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♪ I karate-chop them
to bits ♪
93
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♪ 'Cause I make
your cervical lining ♪
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♪ And its mucus
a midlevel thick ♪
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Wow, it sounds like the pill
is the way to go.
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IUD:
I beg to disagree.
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♪ I'm an IUD ♪
98
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♪ I got 99% efficacy ♪
99
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♪ And once
inserting me down ♪
100
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Back off,
you uterus usurper.
101
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This is my turf.
102
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You want to go?
103
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[ Indistinct shouting ]
104
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I think I'll just stick
with abstinence.
105
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Yeah, well, you didn't seem
that cool anyway, so...
106
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,988
I need to give this
to the one man I can trust.
107
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I thought long and hard
about this,
108
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and it's you,
Batman.
109
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[ Applause ]
110
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[ Krypto barks ]
111
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[ Monitor beeping ]
112
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[ Flatline ]
113
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Batman. Batman.
114
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Huh? What? What?
115
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Fine. I'll entrust
this kryptonite ring
116
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to somebody else to defeat me
if I ever go insane.
117
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I really thought
you'd give a damn.
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Don't look at me cry.
Up, up, and away.
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No! Wait!
No, wait!
120
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I-I -- I d-- I do.
121
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I do, Superman.
122
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Meep, meep!
123
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Meep! Meep!
124
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Meep! Meep!
125
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[ Screech ]
126
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[ Screech ]
127
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Meep! Meep!
128
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Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
129
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Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
130
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Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
131
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Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
132
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Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
Meep! Meep! Meep! Meep!
133
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[ Laughing maniacally ]
134
00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:43,268
You cannot stop me,
Earthworm Jim, for I am you.
135
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We are indeed
evenly matched, Evil Jim.
136
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I cannot defeat you,
but do you know what can?
137
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Ha-ha!
Two earthworm Jims,
138
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Did you think getting cut
in half would make two of you?
139
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That's a myth.
-Wait, seriously?
140
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Aw, man.
141
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Ow.
[ Laughs ]
142
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,023
Stupid.
[ Laughs ]
143
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,625
I ain't fighting nobody.
144
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:08,693
I ain't got no head!
145
00:07:08,695 --> 00:07:09,762
Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop,
whoop, whoop, whoop.
146
00:07:09,764 --> 00:07:12,096
That makes zero sense.
147
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,832
I'm so glad
we're all able to attend
148
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this book-club retreat
in the woods.
149
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:17,636
For this month's book,
I thought,
150
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:20,705
"Why not pick something related
to our surroundings?"
151
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I found this in the attic.
152
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[ Chomping ]
[ Screaming ]
153
00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:27,780
Well,
that was fun.
154
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Next month, we're reading
"Eat, Pray, Love."
155
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[ Screams ]
156
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:33,852
So, what brings you
into the podiatrist today?
157
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:36,254
-This has been happening.
-You think that's weird?
158
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:38,123
Oh, ah!
Look, it went back.
159
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,192
Oh, my God!
Your thumb!
160
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:42,194
Announcer:
And now back to Wishbone.
161
00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:43,862
Thanks for coming over,
Shelby.
162
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Looks like Joe
has his first crush.
163
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Reminds me of one
of my favorite books,
164
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which is why
it's this week's story,
165
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"Fifty Shades of Grey."
166
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This is Christian Grey.
167
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He likes to hurt people
he's attracted to.
168
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You're a very bad dog.
[ Moans ]
169
00:07:59,413 --> 00:08:01,680
And this works for me, too,
for some reason,
170
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,348
probably because
my mom was a bitch.
171
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:05,150
Humiliate me, master.
172
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,952
Let's do it on the furniture
human-style.
173
00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:09,822
Oh, God,
that's against the rules.
174
00:08:09,824 --> 00:08:12,357
And then I want you
to sniff my butthole.
175
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:14,158
[ Howls, barks ]
176
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,095
Mm, like someone brought
lipstick to the party.
177
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,963
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, I don't hate that.
178
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:21,433
[ Howls ]
Why does your dog
have a boner?
179
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Let him live.
180
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:24,470
[ Beeping ]
181
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,711
[ Sighs ]
Nice going, Diana.
182
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,847
You just had to take
the invisible jet.
183
00:08:37,051 --> 00:08:40,385
We're going to need
a bigger boat.
184
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,188
Oh, you are?
Why, because I'm so fat?
185
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,656
That is not what I meant.
186
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That is absolu--
I'm shark progressive, okay?
187
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Oh, I know
what you meant.
188
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Asshole.
189
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Give us
your most expensive drink.
190
00:08:54,869 --> 00:08:57,269
My best friend
is getting married.
191
00:08:57,271 --> 00:08:58,803
There you go.
Here's, uh, something.
192
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:00,873
I am terribly sorry
I was delayed,
193
00:09:00,875 --> 00:09:03,075
but if we want to make
our dinner reservation --
194
00:09:03,077 --> 00:09:04,943
We don't serve
her kind in here.
195
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:07,812
That's a weird line
in the racism sand.
196
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:10,282
C4-T3 is
my droid of honor.
197
00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:11,616
No droids.
[ Scoffs ]
198
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,618
Well does that mean
your blender has to leave?
199
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:14,687
Hey, everybody!
200
00:09:14,689 --> 00:09:17,355
This guy's blender
is breaking the rules!
201
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:19,023
Don't bring Blendy
into this.
202
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:22,627
Either the droid leaves,
or you don't drink tonight.
203
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,496
[ Man coughs in distance ]
[ Slurps ]
204
00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:26,899
Just [bleep] all of you.
205
00:09:26,901 --> 00:09:28,833
Oh, my God!
206
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:31,703
Does this place due karaoke?
207
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,572
Ugh! If you jumbo shrimps
are done
208
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:34,573
sucking off
your clarinets,
209
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:38,176
can we do
some [bleep] karaoke?
210
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:42,314
♪ Ooh, light-speed lover,
always when I need you ♪
211
00:09:42,316 --> 00:09:45,918
♪ A billion parsecs
couldn't keep us apart ♪
212
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,187
♪ Rab pimma dewa,
tawa duta you ♪
213
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:52,857
♪ A billion wuppa burr
da blat rawa apart ♪
214
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:55,260
Woman: You have two mouths
and four throats!
215
00:09:55,262 --> 00:10:02,534
♪ Lightspeed lover! Bugga bugga
ya ya nanna vo zaza wa! ♪
216
00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:06,271
[ Speaking
native language ]
217
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,540
The bakery was out
of human penises,
218
00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:12,277
so we got Gungan, Zabrak,
and Mon Calamari.
219
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,546
It's a tart.
220
00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:17,149
Excuse me, can you take
a hologram us?
221
00:10:17,151 --> 00:10:19,418
Gems down, bitches.
222
00:10:19,420 --> 00:10:21,286
Can you get a higher angle?
223
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,589
-[ Grunts ]
-Ooh!
224
00:10:24,558 --> 00:10:26,825
Ugh, I look like
such a Hutt.
225
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:30,228
-Priya Kellsarian?
-Yeah?
226
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,831
Did I do something wrong?
-Affirmative.
227
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,967
You almost had
a bachelorette party
228
00:10:34,969 --> 00:10:37,902
without a stripper.
229
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:40,372
Nice blaster! [ Chuckles ]
Yeah!
230
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:43,842
♪ Light-speed lover,
always when I need you ♪
231
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:47,846
♪ A billion parsecs
couldn't keep us apart ♪
232
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:51,650
♪ Lightspeed lover!
Bugga bugga ya ya ♪
233
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:54,987
♪♪
234
00:10:54,989 --> 00:10:58,991
♪ Lightspeed lover!
Bugga bugga ya ya ♪
235
00:10:58,993 --> 00:11:03,362
♪ Nanna vo zaza wa! ♪