1
00:00:00,359 --> 00:00:02,604
_
2
00:00:02,639 --> 00:00:04,224
Pickin' flowers!
3
00:00:04,225 --> 00:00:06,025
Argh!
4
00:00:06,027 --> 00:00:08,227
Grrr!
5
00:00:08,229 --> 00:00:10,062
My name's Maria.
Who are you?
6
00:00:10,064 --> 00:00:12,531
Grr! Arrgh!
7
00:00:12,533 --> 00:00:17,136
- Here! You can have this flower.
- Flower.
8
00:00:17,138 --> 00:00:18,772
Do you want to play a game?
9
00:00:20,908 --> 00:00:23,876
Peas, porridge, hot.
Peas, porridge, cold...
10
00:00:23,878 --> 00:00:25,445
Argh!
11
00:00:27,615 --> 00:00:30,215
This game is terrible!
12
00:00:30,217 --> 00:00:34,019
Oh, no!
I'm a monster!
13
00:00:34,021 --> 00:00:35,455
What happened to you?
14
00:00:35,456 --> 00:00:36,856
I'm glad you asked!
15
00:00:36,857 --> 00:00:41,294
- See, it all started last season...
- You can just bullet-point it.
16
00:00:41,295 --> 00:00:45,030
There I was, jumping over the
Grand Canyon on a motorcycle
17
00:00:45,032 --> 00:00:47,566
in order to get
the hit cable television drama
18
00:00:47,568 --> 00:00:50,703
"Robot Chicken"
renewed for another season.
19
00:00:50,705 --> 00:00:52,405
You risked your life for a TV show?
20
00:00:52,406 --> 00:00:54,340
Wow, you must have
a huge financial stake in it.
21
00:00:54,342 --> 00:00:55,842
You'd think so!
22
00:00:55,843 --> 00:00:57,576
Anyway, I hit this jump perfectly
23
00:00:57,578 --> 00:00:59,945
but got blown into a million pieces.
24
00:00:59,947 --> 00:01:01,981
I was buried with honors,
25
00:01:01,983 --> 00:01:05,484
but that night, a thief came calling.
26
00:01:24,739 --> 00:01:26,972
Man: It's alive!
27
00:01:39,222 --> 00:01:42,222
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
28
00:01:44,625 --> 00:01:47,326
And that's how Season 10 starts.
29
00:01:47,328 --> 00:01:49,502
I bet you're wondering how
I escaped the castle.
30
00:01:49,604 --> 00:01:51,232
- Nah.
- The CliffsNotes version is,
31
00:01:51,306 --> 00:01:52,979
I peed myself
until they gave me
32
00:01:53,052 --> 00:01:55,635
bathroom privileges
then I jumped out a window.
33
00:01:55,636 --> 00:01:57,536
In captivity, the only thing
that kept me alive
34
00:01:57,538 --> 00:01:59,005
was the pure burning desire
35
00:01:59,006 --> 00:02:02,108
to see the young Han Solo movie.
Was it great?!
36
00:02:02,109 --> 00:02:04,143
Well...
Han showers with Chewie.
37
00:02:04,145 --> 00:02:06,178
Lando probably [bleep] a robot.
38
00:02:06,180 --> 00:02:08,981
And it bombed so hard,
it killed the Boba Fett movie.
39
00:02:08,983 --> 00:02:11,650
- No! Not the Boba Fett movie!
- Quiet!
40
00:02:11,652 --> 00:02:13,286
- No!
- You're gonna get us in trouble.
41
00:02:13,287 --> 00:02:15,721
I need to know what happened
in his teenage years!
42
00:02:15,723 --> 00:02:17,656
Shut the [bleep] up!
43
00:02:25,333 --> 00:02:27,512
Oh, shit.
44
00:02:34,942 --> 00:02:37,744
- You're done for, Shredder!
- Stupid, turtles!
45
00:02:37,745 --> 00:02:40,145
You haven't seen
my new secret weapon.
46
00:02:40,147 --> 00:02:42,181
Is that a straw from Starbucks?
47
00:02:42,183 --> 00:02:45,517
- How is that gonna...
- Aw! The [bleep]!
48
00:02:45,519 --> 00:02:48,487
I didn't believe it
when I read it on Vice.com,
49
00:02:48,489 --> 00:02:52,992
but it's true.
Plastic straws are harmful to turtles.
50
00:02:55,162 --> 00:02:57,730
Dude, we gotta
outlaw these straws.
51
00:02:57,732 --> 00:02:59,498
Actually, Mikey, straws make up
52
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,167
only a tiny fraction of plastic
in the ocean.
53
00:03:02,169 --> 00:03:05,238
The key is to reduce all plastic
waste if we're gonna...
54
00:03:05,239 --> 00:03:07,906
You just got straw-dogged!
55
00:03:07,908 --> 00:03:09,376
You're out of tricks, Shredder!
56
00:03:09,377 --> 00:03:12,544
Nope, this is the last straw!
57
00:03:14,882 --> 00:03:18,550
Mmm! So much
better than the sippy lid.
58
00:03:18,552 --> 00:03:21,504
Deadpool, last week,
you had a pretty
59
00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:24,057
- advanced case of...
- Being charming? Self-aware?
60
00:03:24,058 --> 00:03:25,858
A depressingly fitting spokesman
61
00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:27,927
for 7-Eleven
and alcoholic soft drinks?
62
00:03:27,929 --> 00:03:31,031
- Breaking the fourth wall.
- It's getting really bad.
63
00:03:31,032 --> 00:03:33,365
The first draft of "Deadpool 3"
is six hours long.
64
00:03:33,367 --> 00:03:34,467
This is how...
65
00:03:34,468 --> 00:03:37,503
♪ I remind you
of what I really am ♪
66
00:03:37,505 --> 00:03:39,271
Nickelback. 2001.
Read a book.
67
00:03:39,273 --> 00:03:42,775
Mr. Underwood, any falling
off the wagon this week?
68
00:03:42,777 --> 00:03:45,878
No, no, no. The state
of the union is strong.
69
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:50,049
Chloe means well, but her
credentials are underwhelming.
70
00:03:50,051 --> 00:03:52,718
Son of a bitch!
I gotta run.
71
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:56,055
- Uh, Mr. Robot?
- She doesn't even know my name.
72
00:03:56,057 --> 00:03:58,324
Can you blame her?
Names are a bullshit construct.
73
00:03:58,326 --> 00:04:00,559
There's a fourth wall on the ceiling?
74
00:04:00,561 --> 00:04:02,628
There's a fifth wall?
75
00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,999
- Jim...
- Who can you trust?
76
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,933
This therapist whose
Google drive is nothing
77
00:04:07,935 --> 00:04:10,603
but suicide-note drafts
and hentai porn?
78
00:04:10,605 --> 00:04:12,605
Do you trust the workplace bully
who will one day
79
00:04:12,607 --> 00:04:15,174
cause an autistic beet farmer
to move out of state?
80
00:04:15,176 --> 00:04:18,422
No. Trust no one.
[Bleep] society!
81
00:04:18,946 --> 00:04:20,347
I had a nice week, Chloe.
82
00:04:20,348 --> 00:04:23,082
I don't even know what,
uh, "hentai" is,
83
00:04:23,084 --> 00:04:25,568
- so, um, Jim?
- Truth is, if you break
84
00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:28,821
the fourth wall long enough,
eventually the fourth wall breaks you.
85
00:04:28,823 --> 00:04:30,543
Promise you'll donate my brain
for research?
86
00:04:30,567 --> 00:04:32,359
- Jim, no!
- No!
87
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:33,526
Dibs on Pam!
88
00:04:35,963 --> 00:04:38,397
Our new roomie's here!
LOL!
89
00:04:38,399 --> 00:04:40,099
I wonder what
she'll be like. LOL.
90
00:04:40,101 --> 00:04:41,434
A clue. LOL.
91
00:04:41,435 --> 00:04:43,335
It's a picture
of a donkey and prunes.
92
00:04:43,337 --> 00:04:46,205
Maybe, she's a fruit
veterinarian. LOL!
93
00:04:46,207 --> 00:04:47,973
Or it's an ass that poops.
94
00:04:47,975 --> 00:04:50,543
I'm dead serious.
LOL.
95
00:04:50,544 --> 00:04:53,579
A diaper! LOL!
96
00:04:53,581 --> 00:04:56,882
Hi!
I'm Dumpster, from Series 7.
97
00:04:56,884 --> 00:04:59,218
L-O-L!
98
00:04:59,220 --> 00:05:01,120
- Called it! LOL.
- Wait, what?
99
00:05:01,122 --> 00:05:04,290
We can cry, or pee,
or burp up water, but poop?!
100
00:05:04,292 --> 00:05:06,058
No, that's crossing a line!
101
00:05:06,060 --> 00:05:11,030
It's just another bodily function.
Series 7, bitches!
102
00:05:14,802 --> 00:05:17,336
Just want to remind you,
I called it. LOL.
103
00:05:17,338 --> 00:05:19,134
Let's get a housekeeper.
104
00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:20,517
LOL.
105
00:05:20,741 --> 00:05:24,510
Narrator: In 2003, the world
was robbed of Fred Rogers,
106
00:05:24,512 --> 00:05:26,612
but now he's back.
107
00:05:26,614 --> 00:05:28,314
Won't you be my neighbor?
108
00:05:28,316 --> 00:05:30,734
Narrator: Netflix and
Mister Roger's cryogenically
109
00:05:30,735 --> 00:05:33,153
preserved head are proud to present,
110
00:05:33,154 --> 00:05:35,487
"Mister RoboRogers' Neighborhood."
111
00:05:35,489 --> 00:05:38,157
Hi, neighbor.
How are you today?
112
00:05:40,528 --> 00:05:42,368
Speedy delivery!
113
00:05:42,392 --> 00:05:45,798
Mr. McFeely,
I was not expecting a package.
114
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,566
It's a special surprise.
115
00:05:47,568 --> 00:05:51,003
It likes to walk on the ground
and swim in the water.
116
00:05:51,005 --> 00:05:52,505
It is a turtle.
117
00:05:52,506 --> 00:05:54,266
Uh... yes, it certainly was.
118
00:05:54,290 --> 00:05:57,109
Thank you for the turtle box,
Mailman McFeely.
119
00:05:57,111 --> 00:06:00,279
I'll be going now!
120
00:06:00,281 --> 00:06:02,414
Hello, trolley.
How are you?
121
00:06:02,416 --> 00:06:05,050
I'm am fine.
Thank you for asking.
122
00:06:05,052 --> 00:06:08,387
Yes, let's go to
the land of Make-Believe.
123
00:06:08,389 --> 00:06:10,289
Oh, Daniel, do you need a hug?
124
00:06:10,291 --> 00:06:13,325
That would be nice.
Daniel, give Lady Aberlin a hug.
125
00:06:13,327 --> 00:06:15,327
Meow-meow!
126
00:06:15,329 --> 00:06:16,663
Hugs are nice.
127
00:06:16,664 --> 00:06:20,666
It is such a good feeling
to know happy f-f-f-f-f-f-f...
128
00:06:20,668 --> 00:06:22,235
Destroy! Dest...
129
00:06:24,438 --> 00:06:27,106
Let's keep goin', Thelma.
130
00:06:28,309 --> 00:06:30,476
No, Thelma & Louise!
131
00:06:39,854 --> 00:06:42,255
Wow!
Goodbye, Thelma!
132
00:06:42,256 --> 00:06:44,490
Goodbye, & Louise!
133
00:06:47,128 --> 00:06:49,719
Ohh, no!
134
00:06:49,864 --> 00:06:51,897
Popeye, other Popeye characters,
135
00:06:51,899 --> 00:06:53,859
we're really excited
about updating you for Gen-Z.
136
00:06:53,883 --> 00:06:56,635
But we've got what's called
universkal appeal.
137
00:06:56,637 --> 00:06:58,204
- Ah-ka-ka-ka-ka!
- Wrong!
138
00:06:58,205 --> 00:07:01,774
For example, your spinach
is so two thousand and late.
139
00:07:01,776 --> 00:07:03,676
You wantsk me to eatsk
something trendy,
140
00:07:03,678 --> 00:07:06,179
- like kale?
- Nah, our research shows
141
00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:09,148
the thing Gen-Z'ers like best
is eating [bleep].
142
00:07:09,150 --> 00:07:13,652
- Therefore, you will eat [bleep].
- Well, blow me down!
143
00:07:13,654 --> 00:07:16,522
I think I like being kid-friendly,
144
00:07:16,524 --> 00:07:18,424
if it means Popeye's got
to eat [bleep]!
145
00:07:18,426 --> 00:07:21,327
Bluto and/or Brutus...
whatever your name is today...
146
00:07:21,329 --> 00:07:23,730
- you're an old-fashioned bully.
- Yeah, yeah, I get it...
147
00:07:23,731 --> 00:07:25,631
you want me to be
a cyberbully, right?
148
00:07:25,633 --> 00:07:28,268
- I read the papers. I can read.
- No, no, no, even better...
149
00:07:28,269 --> 00:07:31,638
- you will be a bully who eats [bleep].
- Oh, dear!
150
00:07:31,639 --> 00:07:35,207
Olive Oil, Instagram is
going to love your thigh gap.
151
00:07:35,209 --> 00:07:37,543
And when they ask you how
you stay so thin,
152
00:07:37,545 --> 00:07:41,146
- you'll tell them...
- By eating a [bleep].
153
00:07:41,148 --> 00:07:44,049
Speaking of eating,
is this meeting catered?
154
00:07:44,051 --> 00:07:48,487
If not, I would gladly pay you
Tuesday for a hamburger today.
155
00:07:48,489 --> 00:07:49,789
No, no, no, no, no, bro.
156
00:07:49,790 --> 00:07:51,890
The old Wimpy ate hamburgers.
157
00:07:51,892 --> 00:07:54,727
- The new Wimpy?
- Yeah, I get it.
158
00:07:54,729 --> 00:07:58,464
I'd gladly pay you Tuesday
for a rimjob today.
159
00:07:58,466 --> 00:08:00,341
Atta boy, sport.
160
00:08:01,507 --> 00:08:06,451
I'm strong to the finishk,
'cause I eatsk [bleep]!
161
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:08,642
This really speaks to me.
162
00:08:12,546 --> 00:08:14,847
Don't make a sound.
163
00:08:14,849 --> 00:08:18,317
Ohh, did I do that?
164
00:08:21,522 --> 00:08:24,156
Jim...
165
00:08:24,158 --> 00:08:26,792
Whoa, my Tamagotchi needs
food, or it's gonna die.
166
00:08:26,794 --> 00:08:28,794
I'm gonna keep mine alive forever.
167
00:08:30,097 --> 00:08:32,298
Your plan has worked perfectly,
Tamagotchi Alpha.
168
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:33,667
Indoctrinating
the youth of Earth
169
00:08:33,668 --> 00:08:35,834
to feed us and clean our poop
is brilliant.
170
00:08:36,771 --> 00:08:38,271
Oh, I'm bored of Tamagotchi.
171
00:08:38,272 --> 00:08:42,007
More like Toma-ain't-got-shit-
on these-moon-shoes!
172
00:08:42,009 --> 00:08:45,044
You failed to take into account
the Earthling short attentions spans.
173
00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:47,847
- We must stop pooping!
- I cannot stop pooping!
174
00:08:47,848 --> 00:08:50,940
Who will clean up
all this pooping?
175
00:08:52,019 --> 00:08:54,320
Welcome to ovulentation.
176
00:08:54,322 --> 00:08:56,121
We have fun.
177
00:08:56,123 --> 00:08:57,757
Now, then, a handmaid is
178
00:08:57,758 --> 00:09:01,994
obedient, silent, and always DTF.
179
00:09:01,996 --> 00:09:04,496
Ah, our new handmaid is here.
180
00:09:04,498 --> 00:09:07,299
Dun-dun-na-na!
What the [bleep] is this?
181
00:09:07,301 --> 00:09:09,684
Did I ask for
a God damn free hat?
182
00:09:09,719 --> 00:09:12,726
What kinda Quaker Oats ass
whorehouse bullshit is this?
183
00:09:12,740 --> 00:09:17,250
Young lady, here at Gilead,
you raise your hand before speaking.
184
00:09:17,779 --> 00:09:19,778
I repeat...
What the [bleep] is this hat?
185
00:09:19,780 --> 00:09:21,047
New girl, shh.
186
00:09:21,048 --> 00:09:23,215
- Aaaah!
- Raise your hand or lose a finger.
187
00:09:23,217 --> 00:09:25,384
I hope that wasn't
your butthole finger.
188
00:09:25,386 --> 00:09:27,987
My what?
Ohh! Owww!
189
00:09:27,989 --> 00:09:30,422
Damn, bitch,
they're simple instructions.
190
00:09:30,424 --> 00:09:33,626
Now, then, ladies,
you have been blessed
191
00:09:33,628 --> 00:09:36,496
- with the gift of fertility.
- I'm so fertile,
192
00:09:36,497 --> 00:09:38,430
I'm practically
God damn handicapped.
193
00:09:38,432 --> 00:09:40,366
I had to get
an Amazon subscription
194
00:09:40,368 --> 00:09:43,503
- for coat hangers.
- Shh! Ow!
195
00:09:43,504 --> 00:09:47,206
Once a month, you will lay
with your commander and his wife
196
00:09:47,208 --> 00:09:49,008
for a conception ceremony.
197
00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:51,143
Do you mean we have
to have sex with them?
198
00:09:51,145 --> 00:09:54,280
Room, board, and free dick?
Up top.
199
00:09:54,282 --> 00:09:56,716
- That's enough.
- I don't see your hand up.
200
00:09:56,717 --> 00:10:00,219
- Ofdylan, silence.
- Wait, I know our names are "of"
201
00:10:00,221 --> 00:10:01,788
whatever the hell chode
pork stuffs
202
00:10:01,789 --> 00:10:04,556
our potent-ass vaginas, but Dylan?
203
00:10:04,558 --> 00:10:06,926
If I wanted to [bleep] slam a Dylan,
204
00:10:06,928 --> 00:10:09,094
I would go to
middle-school detention.
205
00:10:09,096 --> 00:10:10,764
You will honor your commander.
206
00:10:10,765 --> 00:10:14,400
Commander Dylan?
Were Chase and Tyler taken?
207
00:10:14,402 --> 00:10:17,969
Show me an adult man named Dylan.
You [bleep] can't.
208
00:10:18,042 --> 00:10:21,106
They're all in prison for DUls
by the time they're 19.
209
00:10:21,108 --> 00:10:22,709
I-I'm not sure
how you know so much
210
00:10:22,710 --> 00:10:24,810
of Commander Dylan's
difficult past, but...
211
00:10:24,812 --> 00:10:27,880
I ain't no "of" Dylan.
But I have been of your daddy.
212
00:10:27,882 --> 00:10:30,817
- I'll have your eye for that!
- She'll totally do it.
213
00:10:30,818 --> 00:10:34,019
- Come on then!
- Where did that come from?
214
00:10:34,021 --> 00:10:35,788
My cream crepe, you dumb bitch.
215
00:10:35,790 --> 00:10:38,324
And you don't wanna know
what's up my puddin' pocket.
216
00:10:38,326 --> 00:10:40,492
Aah!
217
00:10:40,494 --> 00:10:43,663
Ha-ha-ha!
Look at me now, bitch.
218
00:10:43,664 --> 00:10:46,399
- Here you go, iCarly.
- Bitch Puddin'. That was amazing.
219
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:47,500
Thanks, Off-White.
220
00:10:47,501 --> 00:10:49,335
Now bring me Dylan
and a coat hanger.
221
00:10:49,337 --> 00:10:52,071
Your new queen ain't gonna
[bleep] herself!
222
00:10:52,073 --> 00:10:54,139
I was made for dystopia.
223
00:10:54,541 --> 00:10:58,444
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~