1
00:00:16,845 --> 00:00:19,020
It's alive!
2
00:00:33,461 --> 00:00:36,536
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
3
00:00:37,266 --> 00:00:38,646
From the studio that brought you
4
00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:41,304
"Paranormal Activity"
and "Sinister"...
5
00:00:41,339 --> 00:00:43,548
- Did you hear that?
- It's coming from the attic.
6
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:45,826
...learn what happens...
7
00:00:45,861 --> 00:00:46,999
Aah!
8
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,486
...when a studio heavily
invests in the wrong IP.
9
00:00:50,521 --> 00:00:51,486
Run!
10
00:00:54,076 --> 00:00:57,286
- It's a Weeble!
- It glows in the dark!
11
00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,011
How is it doing that?
12
00:00:59,012 --> 00:01:01,877
A property so far
outside our target demographic,
13
00:01:01,911 --> 00:01:04,293
we were insane
to make this movie.
14
00:01:04,327 --> 00:01:07,503
Why won't you fall down?
15
00:01:07,538 --> 00:01:10,540
They never fall down!
Never!
16
00:01:13,405 --> 00:01:15,304
- Flag down the car!
- Help!
17
00:01:33,495 --> 00:01:34,943
Ruh-roh!
18
00:01:34,944 --> 00:01:38,120
Oh, Shaggy, what did you put
a Scooby Snack in my bra?
19
00:01:38,154 --> 00:01:41,432
- Like, what? No!
- Oh, I think it's a lump.
20
00:01:41,433 --> 00:01:44,609
Like, dude, you should get
that checked out, like, A.S.A.P.
21
00:01:44,644 --> 00:01:47,509
I'm sure it's fine.
My boobs are just lumpy.
22
00:01:49,994 --> 00:01:52,859
Scalpel.
She was lucky.
23
00:01:52,893 --> 00:01:54,654
Caught the tumor just in time.
24
00:01:56,103 --> 00:01:58,761
And I would've gotten away
with it, too,
25
00:01:58,796 --> 00:02:01,592
if it weren't for those meddling kids.
26
00:02:02,282 --> 00:02:04,042
Our baby is hideous!
27
00:02:04,077 --> 00:02:07,149
- What have we done?
- Why, God?! Why!
28
00:02:07,183 --> 00:02:09,116
It's an abomination.
29
00:02:11,222 --> 00:02:13,224
- I'll get it, honey.
- Hello.
30
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,053
I have come to drink your blood!
31
00:02:15,088 --> 00:02:16,019
Ha-ha!
32
00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:17,158
It's going
to be okay, honey.
33
00:02:17,159 --> 00:02:19,471
He can't come in
unless we invite him in.
34
00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:23,337
- Isn't that so, you bastard?
- Yep.
35
00:02:23,372 --> 00:02:25,098
- Aah!
- Ha! Ha-ha-ha!
36
00:02:25,132 --> 00:02:26,832
Come here now.
37
00:02:27,790 --> 00:02:31,568
Wow, well-played.
Good job.
38
00:02:32,726 --> 00:02:34,866
Hey!
39
00:02:34,901 --> 00:02:36,349
Aah!
40
00:02:40,182 --> 00:02:41,596
Whenever I travel
on the ark
41
00:02:41,597 --> 00:02:43,495
to avoid the destruction
of the world,
42
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,601
I go first class.
43
00:02:45,636 --> 00:02:47,914
Captain Noah, iceberg right ahead!
44
00:02:47,948 --> 00:02:52,341
So? The ark was designed by
God himself. It's unsinkable.
45
00:02:54,748 --> 00:02:56,940
I can't believe
a fancy show horse
46
00:02:56,975 --> 00:03:00,512
like you would ever fall
for a stow-away donkey like me.
47
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:02,273
My father would never
approve, Jack.
48
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,413
But, you know,
glub-glub drowny-drowny.
49
00:03:04,447 --> 00:03:06,760
Come on, mount me
with that donkey D.
50
00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:09,142
Aah!
51
00:03:10,661 --> 00:03:12,663
Oh, no!
52
00:03:12,697 --> 00:03:14,526
Aaah!
53
00:03:16,598 --> 00:03:17,977
God's Rolls-Royce.
54
00:03:17,978 --> 00:03:21,292
Let this be my eternal tomb
as I go down with the ship.
55
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:25,191
This ship, which God designed.
Screw you, God!
56
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,856
- Oh, I can see my house from here.
- Focus, Rose.
57
00:03:34,857 --> 00:03:36,894
We need to stay alive
until the rescue arks arrive.
58
00:03:36,928 --> 00:03:39,275
And if they ...
59
00:03:46,006 --> 00:03:48,388
We're all gonna die!
60
00:03:48,422 --> 00:03:51,459
- Hang on, Jack. I love you.
- And I you, Rose.
61
00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:53,224
I want to start
a family with you.
62
00:03:53,259 --> 00:03:55,878
A beautiful family
of hybrid donkey-horses.
63
00:03:55,913 --> 00:03:58,777
- Those are called mules.
- Mules?!
64
00:03:58,778 --> 00:04:01,125
I'm not shooting a mule
out of my ass.
65
00:04:01,159 --> 00:04:03,506
They come out of your vagina.
66
00:04:03,541 --> 00:04:05,888
- My vagina?!
- Rose!
67
00:04:05,923 --> 00:04:06,923
Ohh... No, don't!
68
00:04:06,924 --> 00:04:08,338
Oh, no.
Jack, you're sinking...
69
00:04:08,339 --> 00:04:09,719
Ah, it's cold!
70
00:04:16,830 --> 00:04:19,246
Representing the United States,
from OCP,
71
00:04:19,281 --> 00:04:20,799
it's RoboCop.
72
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,216
And from China,
it's the People's Republic's
73
00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:25,563
awesome, definitely not stolen,
tech corporation
74
00:04:25,597 --> 00:04:27,703
with the RoboCarp.
75
00:04:27,738 --> 00:04:29,255
Halt!
You are under arrest
76
00:04:29,256 --> 00:04:30,956
for copyright infringement.
77
00:04:30,982 --> 00:04:33,813
No, you are arrest, white devil.
78
00:04:35,504 --> 00:04:37,920
Oh, shit.
79
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,166
- Follow the yellow brick road.
- Follow the yellow brick road?
80
00:04:43,167 --> 00:04:45,548
That's right!
Tourists come from all over
81
00:04:45,583 --> 00:04:47,239
the world to walk
its golden trail.
82
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,069
Old Shelly O'Malley
helped build it.
83
00:04:49,104 --> 00:04:52,055
- Shelly?
- Oh. I'm on a schedule
84
00:04:52,056 --> 00:04:54,269
and don't care. So...
85
00:04:54,304 --> 00:04:57,319
♪ It represents
the blood of our kin ♪
86
00:04:57,353 --> 00:05:00,425
♪ The blood of our kin,
the blood of our kin ♪
87
00:05:00,460 --> 00:05:03,049
♪ They ignored the OSHA rules ♪
88
00:05:03,083 --> 00:05:05,637
♪ The local codes
of safety guides ♪
89
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:08,433
♪ Generations gone,
worked to death, children died ♪
90
00:05:08,468 --> 00:05:11,333
♪ I lost my hands ♪
91
00:05:12,610 --> 00:05:14,474
We've got much more information
in our gift shop,
92
00:05:14,508 --> 00:05:15,716
if you'll just ...
Oh, she's gone.
93
00:05:15,717 --> 00:05:18,684
♪ La-la-la la-la ♪
Garbage!
94
00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:20,929
Wow, Liv.
A real Hollywood party.
95
00:05:20,963 --> 00:05:23,552
Oh, Maddie,
you sweet Wisconsin rube.
96
00:05:23,586 --> 00:05:26,968
You deserve a taste of your sister's
glamorous life once in a while.
97
00:05:26,969 --> 00:05:29,351
Liv Rooney,
shining as bright as ever.
98
00:05:29,385 --> 00:05:31,629
- And with a twin?
- I'm 17.
99
00:05:31,663 --> 00:05:35,219
- All right, and your twin is...
- Also 17, idiot.
100
00:05:35,253 --> 00:05:37,290
Oh, look!
An open bar.
101
00:05:37,324 --> 00:05:38,980
Just a warning, Maddie ...
out here,
102
00:05:38,981 --> 00:05:41,812
teenage actresses are passed
around like party favors.
103
00:05:41,846 --> 00:05:44,918
Wow! Trevor Trembo from
that super hero movie!
104
00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:47,887
You ladies looked parched,
so I gathered these libations.
105
00:05:47,921 --> 00:05:50,509
- We're underage.
- Age is just a number.
106
00:05:50,510 --> 00:05:52,270
So is 9-1-1.
107
00:05:53,409 --> 00:05:54,582
Exit stage left...
108
00:05:54,583 --> 00:05:56,965
Wow, I feel like we have
targets on our backs.
109
00:05:56,999 --> 00:05:58,620
Hi. Is one of you Liv Rooney?
110
00:05:58,621 --> 00:06:01,314
Duh! I'm the one
without glasses?
111
00:06:01,348 --> 00:06:04,041
Yeah, I don't know your whole
life story, but cool, great.
112
00:06:04,075 --> 00:06:05,696
Anyway, that kid from
"Stranger Things"
113
00:06:05,697 --> 00:06:07,769
who looks like a soft-boiled
egg wanted me to ask
114
00:06:07,803 --> 00:06:09,286
if you and your sister
will make out with him
115
00:06:09,287 --> 00:06:11,323
- in his UberBLACK.
- I got this one.
116
00:06:11,324 --> 00:06:13,533
- You can tell that creep ...
- We'll do it.
117
00:06:13,567 --> 00:06:15,120
Okay. Enjoy your decision.
118
00:06:15,121 --> 00:06:16,950
Liv, I thought you didn't do that.
119
00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:18,883
Maddie, if I could get on
"Stranger Things",
120
00:06:18,918 --> 00:06:20,435
it could make my whole career.
121
00:06:20,436 --> 00:06:22,956
Come on, take on
for Team Rooney!
122
00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:25,475
Hello?
Soft-boiled egg?
123
00:06:25,476 --> 00:06:27,685
Sorry, girls, you snooze you lose.
124
00:06:27,719 --> 00:06:30,792
I can't believe I'm a producer
on "Stranger Things" now!
125
00:06:30,826 --> 00:06:32,526
And I have a featured role!
126
00:06:34,934 --> 00:06:37,902
Damn you, egg boy
from "Stranger Things"!
127
00:06:37,937 --> 00:06:40,218
Can we go back to Wisconsin now?
128
00:06:40,453 --> 00:06:42,113
How would you like
a nice Hawaiian punch?
129
00:06:42,148 --> 00:06:44,150
Oh, yeah!
130
00:06:45,392 --> 00:06:47,843
Oh! Ohh, yeah.
131
00:06:47,878 --> 00:06:49,464
Oh, yeah!
132
00:06:49,465 --> 00:06:51,087
Oh, yeah!
133
00:06:51,088 --> 00:06:54,436
Oh, yeah!
134
00:06:54,470 --> 00:06:56,748
Slender Man,
Slender Man, suit and tie.
135
00:06:56,783 --> 00:07:00,718
Slender Man, Slender Man,
you will die.
136
00:07:00,752 --> 00:07:02,098
Nothing?
137
00:07:02,099 --> 00:07:04,894
Shh. Listen.
I think he's coming.
138
00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:08,553
Sorry I'm late.
Far.
139
00:07:08,588 --> 00:07:10,140
- You were far.
- Uh...
140
00:07:10,141 --> 00:07:11,659
- Slender Man?
- Oh, my God.
141
00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:12,971
- We ...
- Just give me a sec.
142
00:07:12,972 --> 00:07:14,558
Give me a sec.
Whoa!
143
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:17,942
Okay.
Hey, you girls like Five Guys?
144
00:07:17,977 --> 00:07:19,771
'Cause I am addicted.
145
00:07:22,429 --> 00:07:23,913
Whew!
All right, I'm okay.
146
00:07:23,914 --> 00:07:26,433
Seriously, the fries are amazing.
147
00:07:26,468 --> 00:07:28,401
Five Guys.
Man, I'm tellin' you...
148
00:07:28,435 --> 00:07:29,504
Sorry, sorry. Go on.
149
00:07:29,505 --> 00:07:32,991
Mary-Sue Elizabeth of Brighton
Drive has earned our wrath.
150
00:07:32,992 --> 00:07:35,683
- We summon thee!
- Why are you fat?
151
00:07:35,684 --> 00:07:37,720
- Anna!
- Yeah, I deserve that.
152
00:07:37,755 --> 00:07:39,722
Look, the first time
I was spotted
153
00:07:39,757 --> 00:07:41,759
I was on a cleanse.
Nice and slim.
154
00:07:41,793 --> 00:07:44,141
So the girl called me Slender Man.
155
00:07:44,175 --> 00:07:46,005
I have to live up to the name.
156
00:07:46,039 --> 00:07:47,177
And you know the pressure
157
00:07:47,178 --> 00:07:48,904
of keeping your weight
down all the time.
158
00:07:48,939 --> 00:07:52,666
Well, you will, girls.
Believe me, you will.
159
00:07:52,701 --> 00:07:55,290
Slender Man, Slender Man,
all the children run.
160
00:07:55,324 --> 00:07:56,911
- Slender Man ...
- Okay. Hey, hey, hey.
161
00:07:56,912 --> 00:07:58,292
Call me Stuart.
Right?
162
00:07:58,293 --> 00:08:00,295
I feel like you're
fat-shaming me now.
163
00:08:00,329 --> 00:08:02,711
Stuart, Stuart, to him it's fun.
164
00:08:02,745 --> 00:08:05,265
You shouldn't worry about
what other people think of you.
165
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:07,715
You kids are all right.
Here. Take this.
166
00:08:07,716 --> 00:08:10,719
Show it at Five Guys,
and you'll get $3 off your order.
167
00:08:10,753 --> 00:08:12,479
But don't forget
to make sure they see
168
00:08:12,514 --> 00:08:14,309
the referral number
so I get $3 off, too.
169
00:08:14,343 --> 00:08:16,034
Stuart, come on.
Focus.
170
00:08:16,035 --> 00:08:18,761
This is a picture of Mary,
and here is a lock of her hair.
171
00:08:18,796 --> 00:08:21,349
You have to go kill her now.
She called me fat.
172
00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:23,974
You know, I feel like
there's a subtext here,
173
00:08:24,008 --> 00:08:25,560
and it's making me uncomfortable.
174
00:08:25,561 --> 00:08:27,943
Okay, we have to go home, Stuart.
175
00:08:27,978 --> 00:08:29,564
If our moms wake up
and we're not there...
176
00:08:29,565 --> 00:08:31,947
Yeah, yeah.
I got it. Fine.
177
00:08:31,982 --> 00:08:35,744
- Mary on Brighton.
- Ugh! Do your job!
178
00:08:35,778 --> 00:08:38,471
Ugh, these fries are really good.
179
00:08:38,505 --> 00:08:41,577
Yeah, you see?
You get it, Mary.
180
00:08:41,612 --> 00:08:44,442
I could eat Five Guys every day.
181
00:08:44,477 --> 00:08:50,138
Looks like you did eat
five guys, fatty. Mm.
182
00:08:50,172 --> 00:08:52,554
Yeah, that kind of hurts, Mary.
183
00:08:52,588 --> 00:08:55,177
Welcome back
to the fifth-annual brodeo,
184
00:08:55,212 --> 00:08:57,628
A.K.A. the brony rodeo.
185
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,318
And out of the chute comes
Zeb Deacons,
186
00:08:59,319 --> 00:09:02,081
riding last year's reigning
brodeo champ, Glitter Snap.
187
00:09:02,115 --> 00:09:04,290
When not bronying, Glitter Snap
is a corporate attorney
188
00:09:04,324 --> 00:09:05,842
for a yoga lifestyles brand
189
00:09:05,843 --> 00:09:08,052
and also enjoys go-karting
in his spare time.
190
00:09:08,087 --> 00:09:11,227
- Aah! Aah!
- Oh, that does not look good, folks.
191
00:09:11,228 --> 00:09:13,955
Oh, [bleep]. Ah!
192
00:09:16,095 --> 00:09:18,960
And Glitter Snap's wife Helen
makes the difficult decision...
193
00:09:18,994 --> 00:09:20,892
No! No, no, no, no!
Wait, wait, wait!
194
00:09:23,343 --> 00:09:25,414
This isn't Walmart.
Where am I?
195
00:09:25,449 --> 00:09:26,967
Happy Family Midge!
196
00:09:26,968 --> 00:09:30,315
- Welcome to the Island of Recalled Toys.
- Recalled toys?
197
00:09:30,316 --> 00:09:32,974
But I teach kids about
the beauty of pregnancy.
198
00:09:33,008 --> 00:09:37,323
Well, many of us are pulled off
the shelves unfairly ... like me!
199
00:09:38,669 --> 00:09:41,603
Anyway, you'll have
plenty of company here.
200
00:09:44,606 --> 00:09:47,850
There's very little demand for
a lawn dart that kills children.
201
00:09:47,885 --> 00:09:51,026
Or a sky dancer
that pokes out eyeballs.
202
00:09:51,061 --> 00:09:53,960
Or an Elmo with Tourette's [bleep]!
203
00:09:53,995 --> 00:09:55,478
But we're all accepted here.
204
00:09:55,479 --> 00:09:57,860
You're home.
Right, everybody?
205
00:09:57,895 --> 00:10:00,898
♪ An Easy Bake Oven
that's hotter than hell ♪
206
00:10:00,932 --> 00:10:04,039
♪ A Tarzan who jacks it
while trying to yell ♪
207
00:10:04,074 --> 00:10:06,766
♪ On Christmas day, you'll see ♪
208
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,218
♪ They won't let us
near anyone's tree ♪
209
00:10:10,252 --> 00:10:13,462
♪ The Cabbage Patch dolly
who'll scalp your head bald ♪
210
00:10:13,497 --> 00:10:17,363
♪ A Viper that chokes kids
ain't long for the mall ♪
211
00:10:17,397 --> 00:10:22,471
♪ It's hard to see
how we ever passed toy R&D ♪
212
00:10:22,506 --> 00:10:28,456
♪ Now we're here on the island
of toy travesties ♪
213
00:10:29,030 --> 00:10:32,343
Wow, I guess I can really
be myself with you guys.
214
00:10:32,378 --> 00:10:35,174
- Whoo!
- Ah, just the miracle of ...
215
00:10:36,727 --> 00:10:39,557
Oh, god! No!
216
00:10:42,973 --> 00:10:46,287
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~