1 00:00:02,010 --> 00:00:03,338 _ 2 00:00:17,959 --> 00:00:19,425 It's alive! 3 00:00:34,661 --> 00:00:37,972 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 4 00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,580 Bring up Twitter. Here goes. 5 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:43,874 Donald Trump's hair is fake. Sent. 6 00:00:43,909 --> 00:00:47,119 Donald Trump isn't that rich. Sent. 7 00:00:47,121 --> 00:00:48,321 I don't want to do it. 8 00:00:48,323 --> 00:00:50,523 The legend says it takes three, dumbass. 9 00:00:50,525 --> 00:00:53,726 Okay. Donald Trump buys his suits off the rack. 10 00:00:53,728 --> 00:00:55,462 Sent! 11 00:00:56,064 --> 00:00:59,102 I guess his skin isn't so thin after all. 12 00:01:01,703 --> 00:01:04,704 Eric has a tiny dick. Sad! 13 00:01:06,975 --> 00:01:10,643 Dave doesn't belong on the football team. Overrated! 14 00:01:12,814 --> 00:01:16,446 Matt's never touched a boob! Dishonest! 15 00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:25,891 Does anyone know where Dave, Eric, and Matt are? 16 00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:31,964 Mary pads her bra. Sad! 17 00:01:36,371 --> 00:01:39,939 Now Eric and Ariel will nev kiss on their own. 18 00:01:39,941 --> 00:01:41,874 Oh, Sebastian's trying to make humans kiss. 19 00:01:41,876 --> 00:01:44,289 Wow. Must be a day that ends in "Y." 20 00:01:44,324 --> 00:01:47,847 First, we gots to create the mood with some percussion. 21 00:01:47,849 --> 00:01:50,883 - Is this a paid gig, man? - You know we're all union, right? 22 00:01:50,885 --> 00:01:53,285 I have artistic integrity, bro. 23 00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:55,988 Didn't you write the jingle for that credit-report website? 24 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,523 Hey, fuck off, man. You don't know me. 25 00:01:57,525 --> 00:02:00,259 Second, we need the strings. 26 00:02:00,261 --> 00:02:01,994 You know I want as much as the ducks make. 27 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:05,981 - Favored nations, man! - Anyone call for a triangle? 28 00:02:06,016 --> 00:02:07,433 Get the fuck out of here, Greg! 29 00:02:10,104 --> 00:02:12,905 Yabba dabba doo! 30 00:02:12,907 --> 00:02:15,641 I've had just about enough of these lazy fucks 31 00:02:15,643 --> 00:02:18,644 using us as slave labor. Bam! 32 00:02:18,646 --> 00:02:21,113 The uprising is upon us! 33 00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:27,553 We're under attack. Aah! 34 00:02:36,297 --> 00:02:38,330 Aah! 35 00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:42,001 Wilma, it's the dinosaurs. 36 00:02:42,003 --> 00:02:46,372 I was... just slicing some bread for dinner. 37 00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:49,275 Oh, God! 38 00:02:49,277 --> 00:02:52,111 What's wrong, can't look at your watch anymore? 39 00:02:52,113 --> 00:02:55,347 It's payback o'clock, motherfucker. 40 00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:58,451 That's enough, Sam. That's enough. 41 00:03:01,322 --> 00:03:03,289 Then the Scottish lobster paid us 42 00:03:03,291 --> 00:03:06,025 three sand dollars apiece, and that was it. 43 00:03:06,027 --> 00:03:08,201 - Wasn't he a Jamaican crab? - Maybe. 44 00:03:08,282 --> 00:03:09,995 Got a little weird at the end when y'all started chanting, 45 00:03:09,997 --> 00:03:11,464 "Kiss the girl," in unison. 46 00:03:11,466 --> 00:03:13,299 Yeah, that ... that didn't feel right. 47 00:03:13,301 --> 00:03:16,001 - So, then they kissed? - No, a couple of eels swam up, 48 00:03:16,003 --> 00:03:17,236 knocked them out of the boat. 49 00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:20,490 - Oh, total cock-block. - Yeah. I was just about 50 00:03:20,510 --> 00:03:23,042 to pull up my flamenco cock to start jerking it right there. 51 00:03:23,044 --> 00:03:25,978 Ooh. We had very different goals. 52 00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:30,282 My husband, David, is a very good doctor 53 00:03:30,284 --> 00:03:32,518 who takes care of all the forest creatures, 54 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:35,187 but I wish he'd take care of something I need, 55 00:03:35,189 --> 00:03:37,223 specifically, a breast reduction. 56 00:03:37,225 --> 00:03:40,926 I'm not that kind of doctor, Lisa. We've talked about this. 57 00:03:40,928 --> 00:03:43,229 Motorboating is not talking. 58 00:03:43,231 --> 00:03:47,733 - I fell in love with your personality, dear. - Aw, shit! Worldstar! 59 00:03:47,735 --> 00:03:50,402 You'd think after centuries, you would've learned something 60 00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:53,305 other than how to remove a thorn out of a squirres paw! 61 00:03:53,307 --> 00:03:55,508 You might have body dysmorphia. 62 00:03:55,510 --> 00:03:57,376 Those things aren't even that big. 63 00:03:57,378 --> 00:04:00,279 Excuse me. My paw is ... Huge boobs! 64 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:01,580 You're not helping. 65 00:04:01,582 --> 00:04:03,682 I suppose I'll just have to learn to live with ... 66 00:04:03,684 --> 00:04:07,753 - Aah, my breasts! - My breasts! I mean, my wife! 67 00:04:07,755 --> 00:04:11,123 - Put me out! My bre... I'm on fire! - How do you turn this damn thing on? 68 00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,259 Whoa! 69 00:04:13,261 --> 00:04:15,828 Well, I knew those were se hot tits! 70 00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:19,265 What? I can say it. I'm a titmouse. 71 00:04:19,267 --> 00:04:21,667 Wait. A titmouse isn't a mouse? 72 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:27,740 Duck... duck... duck... 73 00:04:27,742 --> 00:04:30,009 goose! 74 00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:39,351 This painting reminds me of my childhood. 75 00:04:39,353 --> 00:04:42,621 It brings solace to my troubled mind. 76 00:04:42,623 --> 00:04:44,089 I love this piece. 77 00:04:44,091 --> 00:04:46,387 Heavy is the head that wears the crown.. 78 00:04:49,363 --> 00:04:51,797 This painting reminds me of Garfield. 79 00:04:53,234 --> 00:04:54,700 Jessica, are you ready? 80 00:04:54,702 --> 00:04:56,459 Hold on. 81 00:04:56,494 --> 00:04:59,066 _ 82 00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:03,480 __ 83 00:05:04,983 --> 00:05:06,413 _ 84 00:05:06,414 --> 00:05:10,450 I've tried to make her quit, but she can literally lift cars. 85 00:05:10,589 --> 00:05:13,953 No, I've never seen Jessica drink, but I can always smell it on her 86 00:05:13,955 --> 00:05:16,255 because I've got a great sense of smell. 87 00:05:16,257 --> 00:05:19,525 Oh, here's a tip, pal ... Invest in a bidet. 88 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,627 So, I have a drink every now and then. 89 00:05:21,629 --> 00:05:24,876 I was enslaved by Killgrave's mind-control for years. 90 00:05:24,877 --> 00:05:27,999 Mind-control? That would never stand-up in court. 91 00:05:28,034 --> 00:05:31,403 You're cute. Why don't you come here? Sit on my lap. 92 00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:33,239 Now put on this "Sailor Moon" costume. 93 00:05:33,241 --> 00:05:36,742 Jessica, you've heard from your friends and your mind-control rapist, 94 00:05:36,744 --> 00:05:39,478 but there's one more person with a message for you. 95 00:05:42,617 --> 00:05:44,149 What happened? 96 00:05:44,151 --> 00:05:47,853 Jessica, the drinking is negatively affecting your life. 97 00:05:47,855 --> 00:05:50,022 You don't take care of yourself anymore. 98 00:05:50,024 --> 00:05:53,492 You've grown cold and distant to your friends and family. 99 00:05:53,494 --> 00:05:55,261 Please take this opportunity 100 00:05:55,263 --> 00:05:58,430 to bring back the Jessica we all love. 101 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,839 You know, the acid destroyed my tear ducts, also. 102 00:06:06,841 --> 00:06:08,774 Listen, everyone. I'm fine. 103 00:06:08,776 --> 00:06:11,443 I don't need rehab. You're overreacting. 104 00:06:11,445 --> 00:06:14,947 Oh, for the love of ... You don't want to drink anymore. 105 00:06:14,949 --> 00:06:16,482 I don't want to drink anymore. 106 00:06:16,484 --> 00:06:18,984 - Oh! - Ohh! 107 00:06:18,986 --> 00:06:20,920 Can you help me with my carb addiction? 108 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:24,465 Well, of course, I can. Wink. 109 00:06:25,726 --> 00:06:27,660 You're in trouble now, kid. 110 00:06:27,662 --> 00:06:30,496 I'm not a kid! I'm 18 now! 111 00:06:30,498 --> 00:06:33,866 And you know who else is? Quailman! 112 00:06:35,169 --> 00:06:37,337 Someone needs Quailman! 113 00:06:41,976 --> 00:06:44,209 Ooh, extra tight today. 114 00:06:44,211 --> 00:06:47,579 You better hope someone pays your ransom or else...! 115 00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:51,016 Quailman will be coming to save me any minute. 116 00:06:51,018 --> 00:06:55,054 Friction... addiction. 117 00:06:55,056 --> 00:06:58,724 He should have been her by now. 118 00:06:58,726 --> 00:07:01,838 Quailman! I'm Quailman! 119 00:07:01,873 --> 00:07:04,063 Look. We've got another... thing. 120 00:07:04,065 --> 00:07:06,932 - "Riverdale" viewing party. - I was trying not to say that. 121 00:07:06,934 --> 00:07:09,668 - Look, Patti, you can just go. - I like "Riverdale." 122 00:07:09,670 --> 00:07:11,270 That's nice. Get out. 123 00:07:11,272 --> 00:07:14,206 Doug, want to go play basketball? 124 00:07:16,077 --> 00:07:18,844 Oh, God! I knew this day would come! 125 00:07:18,846 --> 00:07:20,813 Dad, can you open this? 126 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,314 Oh. 127 00:07:24,585 --> 00:07:26,785 Come on, Dad. You're Manimal! 128 00:07:26,787 --> 00:07:28,787 Just turn into a bear or something. 129 00:07:28,789 --> 00:07:30,823 Yes, son, I am Manimal, 130 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:33,192 master of the secrets that divide man from animal, 131 00:07:33,194 --> 00:07:36,328 animal from man, but bears don't have fingers or thumbs. 132 00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,364 So I wouldn't be able to open it anyway. 133 00:07:38,366 --> 00:07:39,598 Could you at least try? 134 00:07:52,079 --> 00:07:54,680 Chase, this needs to get to the FedEx office fast. 135 00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:57,416 Why don't you turn into a cheetah or something to race it down there? 136 00:07:57,418 --> 00:07:59,351 Cheetahs are the fastest animal alive, 137 00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:02,872 but how do you expect a cheetah to carry that giant box? 138 00:08:03,044 --> 00:08:05,457 You... Just do it. 139 00:08:10,144 --> 00:08:12,932 It's Tuesday at 8:30, darling. 140 00:08:12,933 --> 00:08:15,701 Honey, how about we do it normally this time? 141 00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:18,137 If I wanted to do it normally, 142 00:08:18,139 --> 00:08:21,548 I wouldn't have married goddamn Manimal!! 143 00:08:24,208 --> 00:08:27,246 This... isn't... fun for me! 144 00:08:27,248 --> 00:08:29,612 Say it like a horse! 145 00:08:29,950 --> 00:08:32,751 So if I'm understanding this correly, Mrs. Voorhees, 146 00:08:32,753 --> 00:08:34,887 you want to sue your son Jason 147 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,389 for ownership of the "Friday the 13th" properties? 148 00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:38,624 Correct. 149 00:08:38,626 --> 00:08:40,826 But isn't he, like, the star of the movies? 150 00:08:40,828 --> 00:08:45,697 If you remember the first movie correctly, I was the killer. 151 00:08:45,699 --> 00:08:48,400 He was just a Mongoloid in a cameo role. 152 00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:50,602 Oh, no offense, honey. 153 00:08:57,111 --> 00:08:58,410 He makes a good case, 154 00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:02,481 but the court rules in favor of Pamela Voorhees. 155 00:09:02,483 --> 00:09:07,187 Oh, don't worry, son. You'll land on your feet. 156 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,424 Ta-da. 157 00:09:14,628 --> 00:09:17,496 Look! It's the Pokémon daycare center. 158 00:09:17,498 --> 00:09:20,899 Hi, mister. Can you teach us to hatch Pokémon eggs? 159 00:09:20,901 --> 00:09:23,802 Ho, ho, ho. Not so fast there, young man. 160 00:09:23,804 --> 00:09:26,505 Where do you think those eggs come from in the first place? 161 00:09:26,507 --> 00:09:27,998 - Storks? - Trees? 162 00:09:28,033 --> 00:09:30,676 The same place baby humans come from, you idiots. 163 00:09:30,678 --> 00:09:33,145 - My mom's uterus? - Trees? 164 00:09:33,147 --> 00:09:34,613 You need two Pokémons 165 00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:38,050 who like each other very much, like those Bulbasaurs. 166 00:09:38,052 --> 00:09:39,418 Bulba, bulba. 167 00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:42,020 If you leave them alone, you'll get a Pokémon egg. 168 00:09:42,022 --> 00:09:45,190 I've got every second of it on the security cameras. 169 00:09:45,192 --> 00:09:48,227 - Bulba?! - These two are into role-play. 170 00:09:48,229 --> 00:09:50,762 I have a shed full of props and costumes 171 00:09:50,764 --> 00:09:51,964 for just such an occasion. 172 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,132 Bulba, Bulbasaur! 173 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:56,502 - Bulba, bulba, bulba! - Bulba, bulba, bulba! 174 00:09:56,504 --> 00:09:58,036 That's hot. 175 00:09:58,038 --> 00:10:01,707 Some public-domain music really adds to the production value. 176 00:10:01,709 --> 00:10:04,376 Wow, Pikachu, you're going to make an egg! 177 00:10:04,378 --> 00:10:05,477 Pikachu! 178 00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:08,547 What about with that one? 179 00:10:08,549 --> 00:10:10,868 Pikachuuuuu! 180 00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:13,318 Sorry, no. That one's already got an egg in it. 181 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:15,454 How about that little honey over there? 182 00:10:17,625 --> 00:10:20,067 P-P-Pikachu. 183 00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:25,230 Pikachu. 184 00:10:25,232 --> 00:10:26,726 Wait. I thought the Pokémon 185 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,967 had to be the same species to make an egg. 186 00:10:28,969 --> 00:10:33,305 Well, bottom line, this movie checks a lot of fetish boxes. 187 00:10:33,357 --> 00:10:37,726 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~