1
00:00:00,109 --> 00:00:02,354
_
2
00:00:02,389 --> 00:00:03,974
Pickin' flowers!
3
00:00:03,975 --> 00:00:05,775
Argh!
4
00:00:05,777 --> 00:00:07,977
Grrr!
5
00:00:07,979 --> 00:00:09,812
My name's Maria.
Who are you?
6
00:00:09,814 --> 00:00:12,281
Grr! Arrgh!
7
00:00:12,283 --> 00:00:16,886
- Here! You can have this flower.
- Flower.
8
00:00:16,888 --> 00:00:18,522
Do you want to play a game?
9
00:00:20,658 --> 00:00:23,626
Peas, porridge, hot.
Peas, porridge, cold...
10
00:00:23,628 --> 00:00:25,195
Argh!
11
00:00:27,365 --> 00:00:29,965
This game is terrible!
12
00:00:29,967 --> 00:00:33,769
Oh, no!
I'm a monster!
13
00:00:33,771 --> 00:00:35,205
What happened to you?
14
00:00:35,206 --> 00:00:36,606
I'm glad you asked!
15
00:00:36,607 --> 00:00:41,044
- See, it all started last season...
- You can just bullet-point it.
16
00:00:41,045 --> 00:00:44,780
There I was, jumping over the
Grand Canyon on a motorcycle
17
00:00:44,782 --> 00:00:47,316
in order to get
the hit cable television drama
18
00:00:47,318 --> 00:00:50,453
"Robot Chicken"
renewed for another season.
19
00:00:50,455 --> 00:00:52,155
You risked your life for a TV show?
20
00:00:52,156 --> 00:00:54,090
Wow, you must have
a huge financial stake in it.
21
00:00:54,092 --> 00:00:55,592
You'd think so!
22
00:00:55,593 --> 00:00:57,326
Anyway, I hit this jump perfectly
23
00:00:57,328 --> 00:00:59,695
but got blown into a million pieces.
24
00:00:59,697 --> 00:01:01,731
I was buried with honors,
25
00:01:01,733 --> 00:01:05,234
but that night, a thief came calling.
26
00:01:24,489 --> 00:01:26,722
Man: It's alive!
27
00:01:38,972 --> 00:01:41,972
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
28
00:01:44,375 --> 00:01:47,076
And that's how Season 10 starts.
29
00:01:47,078 --> 00:01:49,252
I bet you're wondering how
I escaped the castle.
30
00:01:49,354 --> 00:01:50,982
- Nah.
- The CliffsNotes version is,
31
00:01:51,056 --> 00:01:52,729
I peed myself
until they gave me
32
00:01:52,802 --> 00:01:55,385
bathroom privileges
then I jumped out a window.
33
00:01:55,386 --> 00:01:57,286
In captivity, the only thing
that kept me alive
34
00:01:57,288 --> 00:01:58,755
was the pure burning desire
35
00:01:58,756 --> 00:02:01,858
to see the young Han Solo movie.
Was it great?!
36
00:02:01,859 --> 00:02:03,893
Well...
Han showers with Chewie.
37
00:02:03,895 --> 00:02:05,928
Lando probably [bleep] a robot.
38
00:02:05,930 --> 00:02:08,731
And it bombed so hard,
it killed the Boba Fett movie.
39
00:02:08,733 --> 00:02:11,400
- No! Not the Boba Fett movie!
- Quiet!
40
00:02:11,402 --> 00:02:13,036
- No!
- You're gonna get us in trouble.
41
00:02:13,037 --> 00:02:15,471
I need to know what happened
in his teenage years!
42
00:02:15,473 --> 00:02:17,406
Shut the [bleep] up!
43
00:02:25,083 --> 00:02:27,262
Oh, shit.
44
00:02:34,692 --> 00:02:37,494
- You're done for, Shredder!
- Stupid, turtles!
45
00:02:37,495 --> 00:02:39,895
You haven't seen
my new secret weapon.
46
00:02:39,897 --> 00:02:41,931
Is that a straw from Starbucks?
47
00:02:41,933 --> 00:02:45,267
- How is that gonna...
- Aw! The [bleep]!
48
00:02:45,269 --> 00:02:48,237
I didn't believe it
when I read it on Vice.com,
49
00:02:48,239 --> 00:02:52,742
but it's true.
Plastic straws are harmful to turtles.
50
00:02:54,912 --> 00:02:57,480
Dude, we gotta
outlaw these straws.
51
00:02:57,482 --> 00:02:59,248
Actually, Mikey, straws make up
52
00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:01,917
only a tiny fraction of plastic
in the ocean.
53
00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:04,988
The key is to reduce all plastic
waste if we're gonna...
54
00:03:04,989 --> 00:03:07,656
You just got straw-dogged!
55
00:03:07,658 --> 00:03:09,126
You're out of tricks, Shredder!
56
00:03:09,127 --> 00:03:12,294
Nope, this is the last straw!
57
00:03:14,632 --> 00:03:18,300
Mmm! So much
better than the sippy lid.
58
00:03:18,302 --> 00:03:21,254
Deadpool, last week,
you had a pretty
59
00:03:21,255 --> 00:03:23,807
- advanced case of...
- Being charming? Self-aware?
60
00:03:23,808 --> 00:03:25,608
A depressingly fitting spokesman
61
00:03:25,610 --> 00:03:27,677
for 7-Eleven
and alcoholic soft drinks?
62
00:03:27,679 --> 00:03:30,781
- Breaking the fourth wall.
- It's getting really bad.
63
00:03:30,782 --> 00:03:33,115
The first draft of "Deadpool 3"
is six hours long.
64
00:03:33,117 --> 00:03:34,217
This is how...
65
00:03:34,218 --> 00:03:37,253
♪ I remind you
of what I really am ♪
66
00:03:37,255 --> 00:03:39,021
Nickelback. 2001.
Read a book.
67
00:03:39,023 --> 00:03:42,525
Mr. Underwood, any falling
off the wagon this week?
68
00:03:42,527 --> 00:03:45,628
No, no, no. The state
of the union is strong.
69
00:03:45,630 --> 00:03:49,799
Chloe means well, but her
credentials are underwhelming.
70
00:03:49,801 --> 00:03:52,468
Son of a bitch!
I gotta run.
71
00:03:52,470 --> 00:03:55,805
- Uh, Mr. Robot?
- She doesn't even know my name.
72
00:03:55,807 --> 00:03:58,074
Can you blame her?
Names are a bullshit construct.
73
00:03:58,076 --> 00:04:00,309
There's a fourth wall on the ceiling?
74
00:04:00,311 --> 00:04:02,378
There's a fifth wall?
75
00:04:03,384 --> 00:04:05,749
- Jim...
- Who can you trust?
76
00:04:05,750 --> 00:04:07,683
This therapist whose
Google drive is nothing
77
00:04:07,685 --> 00:04:10,353
but suicide-note drafts
and hentai porn?
78
00:04:10,355 --> 00:04:12,355
Do you trust the workplace bully
who will one day
79
00:04:12,357 --> 00:04:14,924
cause an autistic beet farmer
to move out of state?
80
00:04:14,926 --> 00:04:18,172
No. Trust no one.
[Bleep] society!
81
00:04:18,696 --> 00:04:20,097
I had a nice week, Chloe.
82
00:04:20,098 --> 00:04:22,832
I don't even know what,
uh, "hentai" is,
83
00:04:22,834 --> 00:04:25,318
- so, um, Jim?
- Truth is, if you break
84
00:04:25,319 --> 00:04:28,571
the fourth wall long enough,
eventually the fourth wall breaks you.
85
00:04:28,573 --> 00:04:30,293
Promise you'll donate my brain
for research?
86
00:04:30,317 --> 00:04:32,109
- Jim, no!
- No!
87
00:04:32,110 --> 00:04:33,276
Dibs on Pam!
88
00:04:35,713 --> 00:04:38,147
Our new roomie's here!
LOL!
89
00:04:38,149 --> 00:04:39,849
I wonder what
she'll be like. LOL.
90
00:04:39,851 --> 00:04:41,184
A clue. LOL.
91
00:04:41,185 --> 00:04:43,085
It's a picture
of a donkey and prunes.
92
00:04:43,087 --> 00:04:45,955
Maybe, she's a fruit
veterinarian. LOL!
93
00:04:45,957 --> 00:04:47,723
Or it's an ass that poops.
94
00:04:47,725 --> 00:04:50,293
I'm dead serious.
LOL.
95
00:04:50,294 --> 00:04:53,329
A diaper! LOL!
96
00:04:53,331 --> 00:04:56,632
Hi!
I'm Dumpster, from Series 7.
97
00:04:56,634 --> 00:04:58,968
L-O-L!
98
00:04:58,970 --> 00:05:00,870
- Called it! LOL.
- Wait, what?
99
00:05:00,872 --> 00:05:04,040
We can cry, or pee,
or burp up water, but poop?!
100
00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:05,808
No, that's crossing a line!
101
00:05:05,810 --> 00:05:10,780
It's just another bodily function.
Series 7, bitches!
102
00:05:14,552 --> 00:05:17,086
Just want to remind you,
I called it. LOL.
103
00:05:17,088 --> 00:05:18,884
Let's get a housekeeper.
104
00:05:19,050 --> 00:05:20,267
LOL.
105
00:05:20,491 --> 00:05:24,260
Narrator: In 2003, the world
was robbed of Fred Rogers,
106
00:05:24,262 --> 00:05:26,362
but now he's back.
107
00:05:26,364 --> 00:05:28,064
Won't you be my neighbor?
108
00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:30,484
Narrator: Netflix and
Mister Roger's cryogenically
109
00:05:30,485 --> 00:05:32,903
preserved head are proud to present,
110
00:05:32,904 --> 00:05:35,237
"Mister RoboRogers' Neighborhood."
111
00:05:35,239 --> 00:05:37,907
Hi, neighbor.
How are you today?
112
00:05:40,278 --> 00:05:42,118
Speedy delivery!
113
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:45,548
Mr. McFeely,
I was not expecting a package.
114
00:05:45,550 --> 00:05:47,316
It's a special surprise.
115
00:05:47,318 --> 00:05:50,753
It likes to walk on the ground
and swim in the water.
116
00:05:50,755 --> 00:05:52,255
It is a turtle.
117
00:05:52,256 --> 00:05:54,016
Uh... yes, it certainly was.
118
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:56,859
Thank you for the turtle box,
Mailman McFeely.
119
00:05:56,861 --> 00:06:00,029
I'll be going now!
120
00:06:00,031 --> 00:06:02,164
Hello, trolley.
How are you?
121
00:06:02,166 --> 00:06:04,800
I'm am fine.
Thank you for asking.
122
00:06:04,802 --> 00:06:08,137
Yes, let's go to
the land of Make-Believe.
123
00:06:08,139 --> 00:06:10,039
Oh, Daniel, do you need a hug?
124
00:06:10,041 --> 00:06:13,075
That would be nice.
Daniel, give Lady Aberlin a hug.
125
00:06:13,077 --> 00:06:15,077
Meow-meow!
126
00:06:15,079 --> 00:06:16,413
Hugs are nice.
127
00:06:16,414 --> 00:06:20,416
It is such a good feeling
to know happy f-f-f-f-f-f-f...
128
00:06:20,418 --> 00:06:21,985
Destroy! Dest...
129
00:06:24,188 --> 00:06:26,856
Let's keep goin', Thelma.
130
00:06:28,059 --> 00:06:30,226
No, Thelma & Louise!
131
00:06:39,604 --> 00:06:42,005
Wow!
Goodbye, Thelma!
132
00:06:42,006 --> 00:06:44,240
Goodbye, & Louise!
133
00:06:46,878 --> 00:06:49,469
Ohh, no!
134
00:06:49,614 --> 00:06:51,647
Popeye, other Popeye characters,
135
00:06:51,649 --> 00:06:53,609
we're really excited
about updating you for Gen-Z.
136
00:06:53,633 --> 00:06:56,385
But we've got what's called
universkal appeal.
137
00:06:56,387 --> 00:06:57,954
- Ah-ka-ka-ka-ka!
- Wrong!
138
00:06:57,955 --> 00:07:01,524
For example, your spinach
is so two thousand and late.
139
00:07:01,526 --> 00:07:03,426
You wantsk me to eatsk
something trendy,
140
00:07:03,428 --> 00:07:05,929
- like kale?
- Nah, our research shows
141
00:07:05,930 --> 00:07:08,898
the thing Gen-Z'ers like best
is eating [bleep].
142
00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:13,402
- Therefore, you will eat [bleep].
- Well, blow me down!
143
00:07:13,404 --> 00:07:16,272
I think I like being kid-friendly,
144
00:07:16,274 --> 00:07:18,174
if it means Popeye's got
to eat [bleep]!
145
00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:21,077
Bluto and/or Brutus...
whatever your name is today...
146
00:07:21,079 --> 00:07:23,480
- you're an old-fashioned bully.
- Yeah, yeah, I get it...
147
00:07:23,481 --> 00:07:25,381
you want me to be
a cyberbully, right?
148
00:07:25,383 --> 00:07:28,018
- I read the papers. I can read.
- No, no, no, even better...
149
00:07:28,019 --> 00:07:31,388
- you will be a bully who eats [bleep].
- Oh, dear!
150
00:07:31,389 --> 00:07:34,957
Olive Oil, Instagram is
going to love your thigh gap.
151
00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:37,293
And when they ask you how
you stay so thin,
152
00:07:37,295 --> 00:07:40,896
- you'll tell them...
- By eating a [bleep].
153
00:07:40,898 --> 00:07:43,799
Speaking of eating,
is this meeting catered?
154
00:07:43,801 --> 00:07:48,237
If not, I would gladly pay you
Tuesday for a hamburger today.
155
00:07:48,239 --> 00:07:49,539
No, no, no, no, no, bro.
156
00:07:49,540 --> 00:07:51,640
The old Wimpy ate hamburgers.
157
00:07:51,642 --> 00:07:54,477
- The new Wimpy?
- Yeah, I get it.
158
00:07:54,479 --> 00:07:58,214
I'd gladly pay you Tuesday
for a rimjob today.
159
00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:00,091
Atta boy, sport.
160
00:08:01,257 --> 00:08:06,201
I'm strong to the finishk,
'cause I eatsk [bleep]!
161
00:08:06,758 --> 00:08:08,392
This really speaks to me.
162
00:08:12,296 --> 00:08:14,597
Don't make a sound.
163
00:08:14,599 --> 00:08:18,067
Ohh, did I do that?
164
00:08:21,272 --> 00:08:23,906
Jim...
165
00:08:23,908 --> 00:08:26,542
Whoa, my Tamagotchi needs
food, or it's gonna die.
166
00:08:26,544 --> 00:08:28,544
I'm gonna keep mine alive forever.
167
00:08:29,847 --> 00:08:32,048
Your plan has worked perfectly,
Tamagotchi Alpha.
168
00:08:32,050 --> 00:08:33,417
Indoctrinating
the youth of Earth
169
00:08:33,418 --> 00:08:35,584
to feed us and clean our poop
is brilliant.
170
00:08:36,521 --> 00:08:38,021
Oh, I'm bored of Tamagotchi.
171
00:08:38,022 --> 00:08:41,757
More like Toma-ain't-got-shit-
on these-moon-shoes!
172
00:08:41,759 --> 00:08:44,794
You failed to take into account
the Earthling short attentions spans.
173
00:08:44,796 --> 00:08:47,597
- We must stop pooping!
- I cannot stop pooping!
174
00:08:47,598 --> 00:08:50,690
Who will clean up
all this pooping?
175
00:08:51,769 --> 00:08:54,070
Welcome to ovulentation.
176
00:08:54,072 --> 00:08:55,871
We have fun.
177
00:08:55,873 --> 00:08:57,507
Now, then, a handmaid is
178
00:08:57,508 --> 00:09:01,744
obedient, silent, and always DTF.
179
00:09:01,746 --> 00:09:04,246
Ah, our new handmaid is here.
180
00:09:04,248 --> 00:09:07,049
Dun-dun-na-na!
What the [bleep] is this?
181
00:09:07,051 --> 00:09:09,434
Did I ask for
a God damn free hat?
182
00:09:09,469 --> 00:09:12,476
What kinda Quaker Oats ass
whorehouse bullshit is this?
183
00:09:12,490 --> 00:09:17,000
Young lady, here at Gilead,
you raise your hand before speaking.
184
00:09:17,529 --> 00:09:19,528
I repeat...
What the [bleep] is this hat?
185
00:09:19,530 --> 00:09:20,797
New girl, shh.
186
00:09:20,798 --> 00:09:22,965
- Aaaah!
- Raise your hand or lose a finger.
187
00:09:22,967 --> 00:09:25,134
I hope that wasn't
your butthole finger.
188
00:09:25,136 --> 00:09:27,737
My what?
Ohh! Owww!
189
00:09:27,739 --> 00:09:30,172
Damn, bitch,
they're simple instructions.
190
00:09:30,174 --> 00:09:33,376
Now, then, ladies,
you have been blessed
191
00:09:33,378 --> 00:09:36,246
- with the gift of fertility.
- I'm so fertile,
192
00:09:36,247 --> 00:09:38,180
I'm practically
God damn handicapped.
193
00:09:38,182 --> 00:09:40,116
I had to get
an Amazon subscription
194
00:09:40,118 --> 00:09:43,253
- for coat hangers.
- Shh! Ow!
195
00:09:43,254 --> 00:09:46,956
Once a month, you will lay
with your commander and his wife
196
00:09:46,958 --> 00:09:48,758
for a conception ceremony.
197
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,893
Do you mean we have
to have sex with them?
198
00:09:50,895 --> 00:09:54,030
Room, board, and free dick?
Up top.
199
00:09:54,032 --> 00:09:56,466
- That's enough.
- I don't see your hand up.
200
00:09:56,467 --> 00:09:59,969
- Ofdylan, silence.
- Wait, I know our names are "of"
201
00:09:59,971 --> 00:10:01,538
whatever the hell chode
pork stuffs
202
00:10:01,539 --> 00:10:04,306
our potent-ass vaginas, but Dylan?
203
00:10:04,308 --> 00:10:06,676
If I wanted to [bleep] slam a Dylan,
204
00:10:06,678 --> 00:10:08,844
I would go to
middle-school detention.
205
00:10:08,846 --> 00:10:10,514
You will honor your commander.
206
00:10:10,515 --> 00:10:14,150
Commander Dylan?
Were Chase and Tyler taken?
207
00:10:14,152 --> 00:10:17,719
Show me an adult man named Dylan.
You [bleep] can't.
208
00:10:17,792 --> 00:10:20,856
They're all in prison for DUls
by the time they're 19.
209
00:10:20,858 --> 00:10:22,459
I-I'm not sure
how you know so much
210
00:10:22,460 --> 00:10:24,560
of Commander Dylan's
difficult past, but...
211
00:10:24,562 --> 00:10:27,630
I ain't no "of" Dylan.
But I have been of your daddy.
212
00:10:27,632 --> 00:10:30,567
- I'll have your eye for that!
- She'll totally do it.
213
00:10:30,568 --> 00:10:33,769
- Come on then!
- Where did that come from?
214
00:10:33,771 --> 00:10:35,538
My cream crepe, you dumb bitch.
215
00:10:35,540 --> 00:10:38,074
And you don't wanna know
what's up my puddin' pocket.
216
00:10:38,076 --> 00:10:40,242
Aah!
217
00:10:40,244 --> 00:10:43,413
Ha-ha-ha!
Look at me now, bitch.
218
00:10:43,414 --> 00:10:46,149
- Here you go, iCarly.
- Bitch Puddin'. That was amazing.
219
00:10:46,150 --> 00:10:47,250
Thanks, Off-White.
220
00:10:47,251 --> 00:10:49,085
Now bring me Dylan
and a coat hanger.
221
00:10:49,087 --> 00:10:51,821
Your new queen ain't gonna
[bleep] herself!
222
00:10:51,823 --> 00:10:53,889
I was made for dystopia.
223
00:10:54,291 --> 00:10:58,194
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~