1
00:00:07,981 --> 00:00:10,092
Ooh, smell that air!
2
00:00:11,087 --> 00:00:12,540
Grass and lemonade,
3
00:00:12,945 --> 00:00:16,510
and a little bit of mint,
a hint of mint, must be the 1920s.
4
00:00:17,064 --> 00:00:20,013
You can tell what year
it is just by smelling?
5
00:00:20,195 --> 00:00:21,097
0h, yeah!
6
00:00:21,270 --> 00:00:25,030
Or maybe that big vintage car
coming up the drive gave it away.
7
00:00:32,290 --> 00:00:34,907
The professor's luggage,
Richard, step lively.
8
00:00:37,035 --> 00:00:38,715
Good afternoon, Professor Peach.
9
00:00:38,815 --> 00:00:40,194
Hello, Greeves old man.
10
00:00:41,027 --> 00:00:42,152
Ah... Reverend!
11
00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,693
Professor Peach! Beautiful day.
12
00:00:44,793 --> 00:00:46,851
Lord's in his heaven,
all's right with the world.
13
00:00:46,951 --> 00:00:48,354
Reverend Golightly.
14
00:00:48,635 --> 00:00:52,234
Lady Eddison requests that you make
yourselves comfortable in your rooms.
15
00:00:52,334 --> 00:00:55,381
Cocktails will be served on the lawn
from half past four.
16
00:00:55,481 --> 00:00:59,124
You go on up. I need to check
something in the library. Alone.
17
00:00:59,224 --> 00:01:02,967
It's supposed to be a party. All
this work, it'll be the death of you!
18
00:01:03,472 --> 00:01:05,282
Never mind Planet Zog.
19
00:01:05,382 --> 00:01:08,592
A party in the 1920s,
that's more like it!
20
00:01:08,692 --> 00:01:11,322
Trouble is, we haven't been invited.
21
00:01:11,422 --> 00:01:13,656
0h, I forgot, yes, we have!
22
00:01:16,064 --> 00:01:17,412
I was right.
23
00:01:17,924 --> 00:01:21,725
Kept secret all these years...
It's unbelievable!
24
00:01:22,323 --> 00:01:24,710
But why didn't they ask...?
Heavens!
25
00:01:25,225 --> 00:01:26,408
Oh, it's you.
26
00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:28,853
I was just doing a little research...
27
00:01:29,494 --> 00:01:32,573
I say, what are you doing
with that lead piping?
28
00:01:34,044 --> 00:01:36,830
But that's impossible...
No! No-!
29
00:02:00,470 --> 00:02:03,710
Doctor Who - 4x07
"The Unicorn And The Wasp"
30
00:02:04,010 --> 00:02:06,550
Transcript by evarin
www.transcripts.subtitle.me.uk
31
00:02:06,850 --> 00:02:09,870
Subtitles by LauCass
32
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:14,030
~ Bad Wolf Team ~
~ www.seriessub.com ~
33
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,611
We'll be late for cocktails!
34
00:02:20,134 --> 00:02:22,790
What d'you think?
Flapper or slapper?
35
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:25,590
Flapper. You look lovely!
36
00:02:35,805 --> 00:02:37,594
Look sharp, we have guests!
37
00:02:37,767 --> 00:02:38,790
Good afternoon!
38
00:02:39,278 --> 00:02:41,290
Drinks, sir? Ma'am?
39
00:02:41,557 --> 00:02:44,644
- Sidecar please.
- And a lime and soda, thank you.
40
00:02:44,824 --> 00:02:47,150
May I announce Lady Clemency Eddison!
41
00:02:47,478 --> 00:02:48,870
Lady Eddison!
42
00:02:49,404 --> 00:02:52,722
Forgive me,
but who exactly might you be,
43
00:02:52,822 --> 00:02:55,390
- and what are you doing here?
- I'm the Doctor,
44
00:02:55,490 --> 00:02:58,808
and this is Miss Donna Noble,
of the Chiswick Nobles.
45
00:02:58,908 --> 00:03:02,341
Good afternoon, my lady.
Topping day, what? Spiffing!
46
00:03:02,528 --> 00:03:04,915
- Top hole!
- No, no, no, no. No.
47
00:03:05,015 --> 00:03:06,444
Don't do that, don't.
48
00:03:06,613 --> 00:03:08,857
We were thrilled to receive
your invitation, my lady.
49
00:03:08,957 --> 00:03:10,848
We met at the Ambassador's reception.
50
00:03:11,035 --> 00:03:12,565
Doctor, how could I forget you?
51
00:03:12,665 --> 00:03:15,907
But one must be sure
with the Unicorn on the loose.
52
00:03:16,007 --> 00:03:18,042
A unicorn? Brilliant! Where?
53
00:03:18,142 --> 00:03:20,727
The Unicorn. The jewel thief.
54
00:03:20,827 --> 00:03:22,696
Nobody knows who he is.
55
00:03:22,796 --> 00:03:24,441
He's just struck again,
56
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:28,054
snatched Lady Babbington's
pearls right from under her nose.
57
00:03:28,154 --> 00:03:30,116
- Funny place to wear pearls.
- May I announce,
58
00:03:30,216 --> 00:03:33,982
he Colonel Hugh Curbishley,
the Honourable Roger Curbishley.
59
00:03:34,082 --> 00:03:37,339
My husband, and my son.
60
00:03:37,439 --> 00:03:38,962
Forgive me for not rising.
61
00:03:39,062 --> 00:03:42,452
Never been the same ever since
that flu epidemic back in '18.
62
00:03:42,661 --> 00:03:43,786
My word,
63
00:03:44,184 --> 00:03:45,684
you are a super lady.
64
00:03:45,843 --> 00:03:49,225
Oh, I like the cut of your jib.
Chin, chin.
65
00:03:49,325 --> 00:03:51,007
Hello, I'm the Doctor.
How do you do?
66
00:03:51,107 --> 00:03:51,973
Very well.
67
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:55,002
- Your usual, sir?
- Ah, thank you, Davenport.
68
00:03:55,204 --> 00:03:56,149
Just how l like it.
69
00:03:56,249 --> 00:03:59,708
How come she's an Eddison but her
husband and son are Curbishleys?
70
00:03:59,808 --> 00:04:02,350
The Eddison title ascends through her.
71
00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:04,391
One day Roger will be a lord.
72
00:04:04,491 --> 00:04:05,811
..Miss Robina Redmond!
73
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:10,751
She's the absolute hit of the
social scene. A must! Miss Redmond!
74
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:13,430
Spiffing to meet you at last, my lady!
75
00:04:14,090 --> 00:04:16,023
Reverend Arnold Golightly!
76
00:04:16,347 --> 00:04:19,310
Ah, Reverend, how are you?
77
00:04:19,837 --> 00:04:22,751
I heard about the church
last Thursday night,
78
00:04:22,851 --> 00:04:24,294
those ruffians breaking in.
79
00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:25,752
You apprehended them.
80
00:04:25,852 --> 00:04:29,350
As the Christian Fathers taught me,
we must forgive them their trespasses,
81
00:04:29,843 --> 00:04:30,939
quite literally.
82
00:04:31,039 --> 00:04:33,406
Some of these young boys
deserve a decent thrashing.
83
00:04:33,644 --> 00:04:35,144
Couldn't agree more, sir.
84
00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:36,876
Typical.
85
00:04:37,071 --> 00:04:38,982
All the decent men are on the other bus.
86
00:04:39,082 --> 00:04:39,855
Or Time Lords.
87
00:04:39,955 --> 00:04:42,452
What about this special
guest you promised us?
88
00:04:42,552 --> 00:04:43,750
Here she is!
89
00:04:44,010 --> 00:04:46,870
A lady who needs no introduction.
90
00:04:47,875 --> 00:04:49,230
Oh, no, please don't.
91
00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:53,070
Thank you, Lady Eddison.
Honestly, there's no need.
92
00:04:53,330 --> 00:04:55,310
- Agatha Christie.
- What about her?
93
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,950
- That's me.
- No!
94
00:04:58,795 --> 00:05:00,461
You're kidding!
95
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:01,535
Agatha Christie!
96
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,240
I was just talking about.
I said, I bet she's brilliant!
97
00:05:04,340 --> 00:05:06,208
I'm the Doctor, this is Donna. Oh!
98
00:05:06,369 --> 00:05:08,309
I love your stuff! What a mind!
99
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:11,910
You fool me every time, well,
almost every time, well,
100
00:05:12,084 --> 00:05:16,026
once or twice, well, once.
But it was a good once!
101
00:05:16,126 --> 00:05:17,670
You make a rather unusual couple.
102
00:05:17,770 --> 00:05:19,325
- We're not married!
- Not a couple!
103
00:05:19,425 --> 00:05:21,230
Obviously not. No wedding ring.
104
00:05:22,029 --> 00:05:24,517
Oh, you don't miss a trick.
105
00:05:24,617 --> 00:05:26,178
I'd stay that way,
if I were you.
106
00:05:26,278 --> 00:05:29,392
The thrill is in the chase,
never in the capture.
107
00:05:29,492 --> 00:05:32,300
Mrs Christie!
I'm so glad you could come,
108
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:37,120
I'm one of your greatest followers.
I've read all six of your books!
109
00:05:37,220 --> 00:05:40,343
Is Mr Christie not joining us?
110
00:05:40,443 --> 00:05:41,627
Is he needed?
111
00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:44,325
Can't a woman make
her own way in the world?
112
00:05:44,425 --> 00:05:46,019
Don't give my wife ideas!
113
00:05:46,119 --> 00:05:47,735
Now, Mrs Christie, I've a question.
114
00:05:47,923 --> 00:05:49,949
Why a Belgian detective?
115
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,301
Belgians make such lovely buns!
116
00:05:56,012 --> 00:05:59,235
I say, where on earth's Professor Peach?
He'd love to meet Mrs Christie.
117
00:05:59,335 --> 00:06:01,074
Said he was going to the library.
118
00:06:02,725 --> 00:06:05,826
Miss Chandrakala. Would you go
and collect the Professor?
119
00:06:05,926 --> 00:06:07,565
- At once, my lady.
- The date,
120
00:06:07,665 --> 00:06:09,150
on this newspaper.
121
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,264
What about it?
122
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,547
It's the day Agatha Christie
disappeared.
123
00:06:18,528 --> 00:06:20,050
Professor Peach?
124
00:06:24,395 --> 00:06:25,441
Professor?
125
00:06:28,715 --> 00:06:31,870
She'd just discovered her husband
was having an affair.
126
00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:34,763
You'd never think to look at her.
Smiling away.
127
00:06:34,863 --> 00:06:37,159
Well, she's British and moneyed.
128
00:06:37,339 --> 00:06:39,830
That's what they do, they carry on.
129
00:06:40,765 --> 00:06:42,683
Except for this one time.
130
00:06:42,783 --> 00:06:45,567
No-one knows exactly what happened,
she just vanished.
131
00:06:49,738 --> 00:06:52,846
Her car will be found tomorrow morning
by the side of a lake.
132
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:56,270
Ten days later, Agatha Christie
turns up in a hotel in Harrogate.
133
00:06:58,369 --> 00:07:00,208
Said she'd lost her memory.
134
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,793
She never spoke about the
disappearance, till the day she died.
135
00:07:03,893 --> 00:07:05,719
But whatever it was...
136
00:07:05,819 --> 00:07:07,070
It's about to happen.
137
00:07:07,170 --> 00:07:09,110
Right here, right now.
138
00:07:09,302 --> 00:07:13,070
Professor... The library!
Murder! Murder!
139
00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:18,992
Oh, my goodness!
140
00:07:19,915 --> 00:07:22,302
Bashed on the head.
A blunt instrument.
141
00:07:22,987 --> 00:07:26,138
Watch broke as he fell,
time of death was a quarter past four.
142
00:07:26,314 --> 00:07:27,576
Bit of pipe.
143
00:07:28,506 --> 00:07:31,670
Call me Hercule Poirot,
but I reckon that's blunt enough.
144
00:07:36,413 --> 00:07:38,710
Nothing worth killing
for in that lot. Dry as dust.
145
00:07:39,925 --> 00:07:42,507
Hold on. The body in the library?
146
00:07:42,716 --> 00:07:46,870
I mean, Professor Peach,
in the library, with the lead piping?
147
00:07:46,970 --> 00:07:48,371
- Let me see.
- Out of my way!
148
00:07:48,471 --> 00:07:51,030
- Gerald!
- Saints preserve us!
149
00:07:51,190 --> 00:07:52,990
- Someone should call the police.
- No need.
150
00:07:53,317 --> 00:07:55,570
Chief Inspector Smith,
known as 'the Doctor'.
151
00:07:55,670 --> 00:07:57,882
Miss Noble's the plucky
young girl who helps me out.
152
00:07:57,982 --> 00:07:58,654
I say!
153
00:07:58,754 --> 00:08:01,830
Go into the sitting room.
I will question each of you in turn.
154
00:08:02,175 --> 00:08:05,710
Come along. Do as the Doctor says,
leave the room undisturbed.
155
00:08:06,307 --> 00:08:08,521
'The plucky young girl
who helps me out?'
156
00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:10,549
No policewomen in 1926.
157
00:08:10,649 --> 00:08:13,304
I'll pluck you in a minute.
Why don't we phone the real police?
158
00:08:13,404 --> 00:08:16,383
Well, the last thing we want
is PC Plod sticking his nose in.
159
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:20,550
Especially now I've found this.
160
00:08:21,526 --> 00:08:23,422
- Morphic residue.
- Morphic?
161
00:08:23,522 --> 00:08:25,034
Doesn't sound very 1926.
162
00:08:25,134 --> 00:08:28,366
Gets left behind when certain
species genetically re-encode.
163
00:08:29,253 --> 00:08:30,587
The murderer's an alien?
164
00:08:30,687 --> 00:08:33,019
Which means one of that lot
is an alien in human form.
165
00:08:33,119 --> 00:08:34,617
Yeah, but think about it.
166
00:08:34,717 --> 00:08:37,971
There's a murder, a mystery,
and Agatha Christie.
167
00:08:38,447 --> 00:08:39,990
So? Happens to me all the time.
168
00:08:41,060 --> 00:08:43,426
No, but isn't that a bit weird?
169
00:08:43,628 --> 00:08:47,861
Agatha Christie didn't walk around
surrounded by murders. Not really.
170
00:08:48,025 --> 00:08:51,762
I mean, that's like meeting Charles
Dickens and he's surrounded by ghosts,
171
00:08:51,862 --> 00:08:53,203
at Christmas.
172
00:08:54,177 --> 00:08:55,713
- Well...
- Oh, come on!
173
00:08:55,813 --> 00:08:58,520
It's not like we could drive
across country and find Enid Blyton
174
00:08:58,620 --> 00:08:59,889
having tea with Noddy.
175
00:09:00,351 --> 00:09:01,367
Could we?
176
00:09:01,467 --> 00:09:03,186
Noddy's not real, is he?
177
00:09:03,286 --> 00:09:06,790
- Tell me there's no Noddy.
- There's no Noddy.
178
00:09:07,526 --> 00:09:10,707
Next thing, you'll be telling me
it's like Murder on The Orient Express,
179
00:09:10,807 --> 00:09:13,805
- and they all did it!
- Murder on the Orient Express?
180
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,838
Oh, yeah, one of your best!
181
00:09:16,026 --> 00:09:19,120
- But not yet.
- Marvellous idea though.
182
00:09:19,298 --> 00:09:23,110
Yeah, tell you what,
copyright Donna Noble, OK?
183
00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:26,085
Anyway! Agatha and I
will question the suspects,
184
00:09:26,185 --> 00:09:28,933
Donna, you search the bedrooms.
Look for clues, any more residue.
185
00:09:29,033 --> 00:09:31,710
- You'll need this.
- Is that for real?
186
00:09:32,089 --> 00:09:34,390
Go on, you're ever so plucky.
187
00:09:36,164 --> 00:09:39,438
Right then! Solving a murder mystery
with Agatha Christie, brilliant!
188
00:09:39,755 --> 00:09:42,719
How like a man to have fun,
while there's disaster all around him.
189
00:09:42,819 --> 00:09:45,640
- Sorry, yeah.
- I'll work with you, gladly.
190
00:09:45,824 --> 00:09:49,278
But for the sake of justice.
Not your own amusement.
191
00:09:54,277 --> 00:09:56,108
Now then, Reverend.
192
00:09:57,262 --> 00:09:59,281
Where were you at a quarter past four?
193
00:09:59,519 --> 00:10:00,608
Let me think.
194
00:10:02,131 --> 00:10:03,927
Why yes, I remember.
195
00:10:05,001 --> 00:10:07,374
I was unpacking in my room.
196
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:08,549
No alibi then.
197
00:10:09,018 --> 00:10:10,165
You were alone?
198
00:10:10,946 --> 00:10:13,946
With the Lord one is never truly alone.
199
00:10:14,105 --> 00:10:15,915
- Doctor.
- And where were you?
200
00:10:16,117 --> 00:10:17,826
Let me think... I was...
201
00:10:17,926 --> 00:10:20,035
Oh, yes, I was taking
a constitutional,
202
00:10:20,135 --> 00:10:22,016
in the fields behind the house.
203
00:10:24,316 --> 00:10:26,710
Just taking a stroll, that's all.
204
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:28,542
Alone?
205
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:29,949
Oh, yes, all alone.
206
00:10:30,049 --> 00:10:32,069
Totally alone! Absolutely alone.
207
00:10:32,317 --> 00:10:36,341
Completely, all of the time, I wandered
lonely as the proverbial cloud,
208
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:39,024
there was no-one else
with me not at all.
209
00:10:40,048 --> 00:10:40,870
Not ever!
210
00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:44,070
- And where were you?
- At a quarter past four?
211
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:48,101
Well, I went to the toilet
when I arrived, and then erm...
212
00:10:50,914 --> 00:10:52,590
Oh, yes, I remember.
213
00:10:52,850 --> 00:10:54,794
I was preparing myself,
214
00:10:55,025 --> 00:10:57,369
positively buzzing with
excitement about the party...
215
00:10:57,469 --> 00:10:59,345
and the super fun
of meeting Lady Eddy...
216
00:10:59,445 --> 00:11:01,198
We've only got your word for it.
217
00:11:01,450 --> 00:11:03,275
That's your problem. Not mine.
218
00:11:04,195 --> 00:11:05,752
And where were you, sir?
219
00:11:06,019 --> 00:11:08,790
Quarter past four?
Dear me, let me think...
220
00:11:09,546 --> 00:11:11,284
Ah yes, I remember...
221
00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:16,270
I was in me study reading
through military memoirs.
222
00:11:17,283 --> 00:11:18,935
Fascinating stuff.
223
00:11:19,662 --> 00:11:22,063
Took me back to my days in the army.
224
00:11:22,719 --> 00:11:24,486
Started reminiscing...
225
00:11:24,861 --> 00:11:26,110
Mafeking, you know...
226
00:11:27,472 --> 00:11:28,390
Terrible war.
227
00:11:28,650 --> 00:11:30,205
Colonel, snap out of it!
228
00:11:33,027 --> 00:11:35,811
- I was in my study...
- No no no, right out of it!
229
00:11:35,911 --> 00:11:36,870
Oh, sorry.
230
00:11:37,624 --> 00:11:39,990
Got a bit carried away there.
231
00:11:40,328 --> 00:11:43,126
And where were you at
a quarter past four, my lady?
232
00:11:43,963 --> 00:11:45,499
Now let me see...
233
00:11:47,478 --> 00:11:48,790
Yes, I remember.
234
00:11:49,201 --> 00:11:52,468
I was sitting in the Blue Room,
taking my afternoon tea.
235
00:11:52,894 --> 00:11:54,509
It's a ritual of mine,
236
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:58,156
I needed to gather strength
for the duty of hostess.
237
00:11:58,770 --> 00:12:00,712
I then proceeded to the lawn,
238
00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:03,099
where I met you, Doctor.
239
00:12:03,199 --> 00:12:08,046
And I said, 'And who exactly might
you be and what are you doing here?'
240
00:12:08,298 --> 00:12:12,783
And you said, 'I'm the Doctor
and this is Miss Donna Noble.'
241
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:15,750
Yes, yes, you can stop now,
I was there for that bit.
242
00:12:16,156 --> 00:12:17,390
Of course.
243
00:12:19,178 --> 00:12:20,166
Excuse me.
244
00:12:20,541 --> 00:12:22,390
No alibis for any of them.
245
00:12:23,548 --> 00:12:26,382
The secret adversary remains hidden!
246
00:12:28,308 --> 00:12:32,568
We must look for a motive,
use 'the little grey cells.'
247
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:35,350
Oh, yes, little grey cells,
248
00:12:35,794 --> 00:12:37,027
good old Poirot.
249
00:12:37,294 --> 00:12:40,330
Do you know, I've been to Belgium, yeah.
250
00:12:41,289 --> 00:12:42,486
I remember...
251
00:12:43,449 --> 00:12:47,243
I was deep in the Ardennes,
trying to find Charlemagne.
252
00:12:47,812 --> 00:12:50,026
He'd been kidnapped
by an insane computer.
253
00:12:50,126 --> 00:12:53,270
- Doctor! Doctor!
- Sorry.
254
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,590
Charlemagne lived centuries ago.
255
00:12:56,091 --> 00:12:57,390
I've got a very good memory.
256
00:12:58,097 --> 00:13:00,630
For such an experienced detective,
you missed a big clue.
257
00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:02,403
That bit of paper on the fire?
258
00:13:02,503 --> 00:13:05,830
- You were looking the other way!
- Yeah, but I saw your reflection.
259
00:13:07,850 --> 00:13:12,350
You crafty man,
and this is all that was left.
260
00:13:15,937 --> 00:13:17,473
What's that first letter? N or M?
261
00:13:17,573 --> 00:13:19,002
It's an M. The word is maiden.
262
00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:21,555
MAIDEN! What does that mean?
263
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:26,747
We're still no further forward.
Our nemesis remains at large.
264
00:13:26,963 --> 00:13:28,687
Unless Miss Noble's found something.
265
00:13:37,612 --> 00:13:39,747
You won't find anything in there.
266
00:13:41,066 --> 00:13:44,313
- How come it's locked?
- Lady Eddison commands it to be so.
267
00:13:44,529 --> 00:13:47,139
And I 'command it' to be otherwise.
268
00:13:47,392 --> 00:13:48,676
Scotland Yard, pip-pip.
269
00:13:52,426 --> 00:13:54,228
Why's it locked in the first place?
270
00:13:54,687 --> 00:13:55,934
Many years ago,
271
00:13:56,093 --> 00:13:58,249
when my father was butler to the family,
272
00:13:58,408 --> 00:14:00,875
Lady Eddison returned
from India with malaria.
273
00:14:01,189 --> 00:14:03,976
She locked herself in this room
for six months until she recovered.
274
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:08,469
Since then, the room
has remained undisturbed.
275
00:14:12,358 --> 00:14:13,908
There's nothing in here.
276
00:14:15,249 --> 00:14:16,800
How long's it been empty?
277
00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:18,350
Forty years.
278
00:14:19,151 --> 00:14:21,023
Why would she seal it off?
279
00:14:22,915 --> 00:14:26,723
All right, I need to investigate,
you just... buttle off.
280
00:14:46,479 --> 00:14:48,700
1926, they've still got bees...
281
00:14:51,469 --> 00:14:55,111
Oh, what a noise! All right,
busy bee, I'll let you out.
282
00:14:55,313 --> 00:14:56,286
Hold on.
283
00:14:56,768 --> 00:15:01,304
I shall find you with my
amazing powers of detection.
284
00:15:13,596 --> 00:15:14,908
That's impossible!
285
00:15:18,154 --> 00:15:19,366
Doctor!
286
00:15:25,791 --> 00:15:26,996
Doctor!
287
00:15:32,471 --> 00:15:35,226
It's a giant wasp!
288
00:15:35,486 --> 00:15:39,394
- What d'you mean, a giant wasp?
- I mean a wasp that's giant!
289
00:15:39,494 --> 00:15:41,778
It's only a silly little insect.
290
00:15:41,878 --> 00:15:47,080
When I say giant, I don't mean big!
I mean flippin' enormous!
291
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,234
Look at its sting!
292
00:15:49,921 --> 00:15:50,910
Let me see.
293
00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:54,720
It's gone. Buzzed off.
294
00:15:57,835 --> 00:15:59,487
But that's fascinating...
295
00:15:59,587 --> 00:16:02,739
D-D-D-on't touch it,
don't touch it! Let me...
296
00:16:03,756 --> 00:16:04,870
Giant wasp...
297
00:16:05,694 --> 00:16:09,230
well, tons of amorphous
insectivorous lifeforms,
298
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,528
but none in this galactic vector.
299
00:16:11,687 --> 00:16:14,304
I think I understood
some of those words.
300
00:16:14,470 --> 00:16:16,417
Enough to know that
you're completely potty.
301
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,603
Lost its sting though,
that makes it defenceless.
302
00:16:18,703 --> 00:16:21,148
Creature this size,
got to be able to grow a new one.
303
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,066
Can we return to sanity?
304
00:16:23,245 --> 00:16:25,669
There are no such
things as giant wasps!
305
00:16:25,769 --> 00:16:28,790
Exactly. So the question is...
306
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:30,457
what's it doing here?
307
00:16:32,642 --> 00:16:35,952
A murder! That's put the cat among
the pigeons, and no mistake!
308
00:16:36,118 --> 00:16:39,536
It's not the stuff of gossip, Mrs Hart.
Continue with your work.
309
00:16:39,888 --> 00:16:42,024
But who'd want to do
in the old Professor?
310
00:16:42,124 --> 00:16:44,369
He was always asking questions
about that book of his,
311
00:16:44,469 --> 00:16:45,666
what was all that about?
312
00:16:45,766 --> 00:16:48,422
A dead man's folly, nothing more.
313
00:16:49,511 --> 00:16:51,739
Though perhaps, if he asked about...
314
00:16:53,203 --> 00:16:55,150
I must go and see my lady.
315
00:17:15,227 --> 00:17:17,784
The poor little...
316
00:17:19,095 --> 00:17:20,234
child...
317
00:17:23,602 --> 00:17:24,388
There!
318
00:17:27,063 --> 00:17:28,229
Come on!
319
00:17:28,671 --> 00:17:32,032
Hey, this makes a change... there's
a monster, and we're chasing IT.
320
00:17:32,132 --> 00:17:35,030
Can't be a monster! It's a trick,
they do it with mirrors!
321
00:17:40,747 --> 00:17:45,031
- By all that's holy!
- Oh, but you are wonderful!
322
00:17:47,879 --> 00:17:50,870
Now just stop, stop there...
323
00:17:55,850 --> 00:17:56,973
Fly boy!
324
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:03,541
Don't let it get away! Quick,
before it reverts back to human form.
325
00:18:04,132 --> 00:18:05,690
Where are you? Come on !
326
00:18:06,014 --> 00:18:08,242
There's nowhere to run! Show yourself!
327
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:16,668
That's just cheating!
328
00:18:17,303 --> 00:18:20,440
My faithful companion.
This is terrible.
329
00:18:20,670 --> 00:18:24,218
Excuse me, my lady, but... She was
on her way to tell you something.
330
00:18:24,444 --> 00:18:25,865
She never found me.
331
00:18:26,319 --> 00:18:28,829
She had an appointment
with death instead.
332
00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:32,809
She said, 'The poor little child.'
Does that mean anything to anyone?
333
00:18:33,475 --> 00:18:35,328
No children in this house for years.
334
00:18:35,905 --> 00:18:38,480
Highly unlikely there will be.
335
00:18:40,070 --> 00:18:42,870
Mrs Christie, you must
have twigged something!
336
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:45,910
You've written simply
the best detective stories.
337
00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:48,950
Tell us, what would Poirot do?
338
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,910
Heaven's sake, cards on the table woman!
You should be helping us!
339
00:18:53,662 --> 00:18:54,427
But...
340
00:18:55,790 --> 00:18:57,001
I'm merely a writer.
341
00:18:57,101 --> 00:18:58,832
Surely you can crack it.
342
00:18:59,207 --> 00:19:02,178
These events, they're exactly
like one of your plots.
343
00:19:02,278 --> 00:19:05,190
That's what I've been saying!
Agatha, that's gotta mean something.
344
00:19:05,387 --> 00:19:06,590
But what?
345
00:19:07,226 --> 00:19:08,550
I've no answers.
346
00:19:09,203 --> 00:19:10,032
None.
347
00:19:10,551 --> 00:19:13,140
I'm sorry, all of you, I'm truly sorry.
348
00:19:13,631 --> 00:19:14,712
But I've failed.
349
00:19:15,325 --> 00:19:17,864
If anyone can help us,
then it's the Doctor, not me.
350
00:19:27,472 --> 00:19:30,070
Do you know what I think?
Those books of yours,
351
00:19:30,696 --> 00:19:32,686
one day, they could
turn them into films!
352
00:19:33,054 --> 00:19:34,814
They could be talking pictures!
353
00:19:35,196 --> 00:19:38,330
Talking pictures? Pictures that talk?
354
00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:41,298
- What do you mean?
- Oh, blimey, I've done it again.
355
00:19:41,824 --> 00:19:43,584
I appreciate you trying to be kind.
356
00:19:44,197 --> 00:19:45,452
But you're right,
357
00:19:45,783 --> 00:19:48,048
these murders are like my own creations.
358
00:19:48,547 --> 00:19:50,293
It's as though someone's mocking me.
359
00:19:50,393 --> 00:19:52,643
And I've had enough
scorn for one lifetime.
360
00:19:52,743 --> 00:19:53,630
Yeah...
361
00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:58,896
Thing is, I had this bloke once,
I was engaged,
362
00:19:59,084 --> 00:20:01,869
and I loved him, I really did.
363
00:20:01,969 --> 00:20:04,176
Turns out, he was lying
through his teeth.
364
00:20:04,421 --> 00:20:06,505
But d'you know what? I moved on.
365
00:20:06,817 --> 00:20:10,350
I was lucky, I found the Doctor.
It's changed my life.
366
00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:13,011
There's always someone else.
367
00:20:13,260 --> 00:20:16,224
I see. Is my marriage
the stuff of gossip, now?
368
00:20:16,324 --> 00:20:17,392
No, I just...
369
00:20:18,481 --> 00:20:19,224
Sorry.
370
00:20:21,070 --> 00:20:23,390
No matter. The stories are true.
371
00:20:23,753 --> 00:20:25,852
I found my husband with another woman.
372
00:20:26,039 --> 00:20:28,790
A younger, prettier woman.
Isn't it always the way?
373
00:20:28,890 --> 00:20:32,076
Well, mine was with
a Giant Spider, but...
374
00:20:32,537 --> 00:20:33,784
same difference.
375
00:20:34,023 --> 00:20:36,778
You and the Doctor talk
such wonderful nonsense.
376
00:20:36,878 --> 00:20:39,986
Agatha, people love
your books, they really do.
377
00:20:40,086 --> 00:20:43,036
They're gonna be reading
them for years to come.
378
00:20:43,136 --> 00:20:44,139
If only.
379
00:20:44,356 --> 00:20:46,570
Try as I might,
it's hardly great literature.
380
00:20:46,670 --> 00:20:47,843
Now that's beyond me.
381
00:20:48,925 --> 00:20:53,093
I'm afraid my books will be
forgotten, like ephemera.
382
00:20:55,372 --> 00:20:57,088
Hello, what's that?
383
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,357
Those flower beds
were perfectly neat earlier.
384
00:21:00,457 --> 00:21:02,672
Now some of the stalks are bent over.
385
00:21:07,608 --> 00:21:10,710
There you go! Who'd ever notice that?
386
00:21:11,113 --> 00:21:12,144
You're brilliant!
387
00:21:15,634 --> 00:21:17,390
Someone came here tooled up.
388
00:21:18,052 --> 00:21:19,985
The sort of stuff a thief would use.
389
00:21:20,252 --> 00:21:22,040
The Unicorn? He's here!
390
00:21:22,422 --> 00:21:23,821
The Unicorn and the wasp...
391
00:21:24,672 --> 00:21:26,136
Your drinks, ladies.
392
00:21:26,482 --> 00:21:28,393
- Doctor.
- Very good, Greeves.
393
00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:33,311
How about the science stuff?
What did you find?
394
00:21:34,991 --> 00:21:36,542
Vespiform sting.
395
00:21:36,808 --> 00:21:39,350
Vespiforms have got hives
in the Silfrax galaxy.
396
00:21:39,450 --> 00:21:41,360
Again, you talk like Edward Lear.
397
00:21:41,460 --> 00:21:44,894
But for some reason, this one's behaving
like a character in one of your books.
398
00:21:44,994 --> 00:21:47,425
Come on, Agatha,
what would Miss Marple do?
399
00:21:47,644 --> 00:21:50,053
She'd have overheard something
vital because the murderer
400
00:21:50,153 --> 00:21:51,891
thinks she's a harmless old lady.
401
00:21:52,158 --> 00:21:53,471
Clever idea.
402
00:21:54,574 --> 00:21:56,890
Miss Marple? Who writes those?
403
00:21:56,990 --> 00:22:00,119
Um... Copyright Donna Noble,
add it to the list.
404
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:02,167
- Donna...
- OK, we could split the copyright.
405
00:22:02,267 --> 00:22:02,904
No.
406
00:22:03,370 --> 00:22:05,290
Something's inhibiting my enzymes.
407
00:22:08,125 --> 00:22:09,488
I've been poisoned!
408
00:22:10,266 --> 00:22:12,740
What do we do? What do we do?
409
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,084
Bitter almonds! It's cyanide!
410
00:22:15,258 --> 00:22:16,888
Sparkling cyanide!
411
00:22:23,479 --> 00:22:24,347
Ginger beer!
412
00:22:24,447 --> 00:22:26,166
- Beg your pardon?
- I need ginger beer!
413
00:22:26,266 --> 00:22:27,633
The gentleman's gone mad!
414
00:22:28,775 --> 00:22:30,461
I'm an expert in poisons, Doctor.
415
00:22:30,561 --> 00:22:32,646
There's no cure! It's fatal!
416
00:22:33,729 --> 00:22:36,470
Not for me! I can stimulate
the inhibited enzymes into reversal...
417
00:22:36,570 --> 00:22:38,136
Protein! I need protein!
418
00:22:38,645 --> 00:22:40,708
- Walnuts?
- Brilliant!
419
00:22:43,398 --> 00:22:45,597
I can't understand you!
How many words?
420
00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:47,227
One! One word!
421
00:22:47,327 --> 00:22:50,670
Shake, milk shake, milk?
Milk? No, not milk?
422
00:22:51,006 --> 00:22:53,140
Shake shake shake... Cocktail shaker!
423
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,823
- What do you want, a Harvey Wallbanger?
- Harvey Wallbanger?!
424
00:22:55,923 --> 00:22:58,245
- I don't know!
- How is Harvey Wallbanger one word?!
425
00:22:58,345 --> 00:22:59,649
What do you need, Doctor?!
426
00:22:59,749 --> 00:23:02,873
Salt, I was miming salt!
Salt! I need something salty!
427
00:23:02,973 --> 00:23:05,144
What about this?
What is it?
428
00:23:05,244 --> 00:23:06,622
- Salt!
- That's too salty!
429
00:23:06,722 --> 00:23:09,182
- Oh, that's too salty!
- What about this?!
430
00:23:10,105 --> 00:23:11,612
- What's that?
- Anchovies!
431
00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:13,379
What is it? What else?
432
00:23:13,969 --> 00:23:16,456
It's a song? Mammy?
433
00:23:17,170 --> 00:23:19,160
I don't know, Camptown Races?
434
00:23:19,260 --> 00:23:20,607
Camptown Races?
435
00:23:20,707 --> 00:23:23,073
All right then, Towering Inferno!
436
00:23:23,173 --> 00:23:25,132
It's a shock! Look!
Shock! I need a shock!
437
00:23:25,232 --> 00:23:27,822
Right then, big shock coming up.
438
00:23:42,211 --> 00:23:43,012
Detox!
439
00:23:45,072 --> 00:23:46,615
I must do that more often!
440
00:23:47,524 --> 00:23:49,470
I mean the detox.
441
00:23:49,947 --> 00:23:52,182
Doctor, you are impossible!
442
00:23:52,964 --> 00:23:54,377
Who are you?
443
00:23:59,392 --> 00:24:01,389
A terrible day for all of us.
444
00:24:02,118 --> 00:24:03,848
The Professor struck down.
445
00:24:04,685 --> 00:24:07,440
Miss Chandrakala, cruelly taken from us.
446
00:24:07,811 --> 00:24:09,448
And yet, we still take dinner.
447
00:24:09,693 --> 00:24:11,258
We are British, Doctor.
448
00:24:12,304 --> 00:24:14,294
What else must we do?
449
00:24:14,394 --> 00:24:16,430
Then, someone tried to poison me.
450
00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:20,603
Any one of you had the chance
to put cyanide in my drink.
451
00:24:21,266 --> 00:24:23,963
- But it rather gave me an idea.
- And what would that be?
452
00:24:24,374 --> 00:24:25,146
Well.
453
00:24:25,658 --> 00:24:26,531
Poison.
454
00:24:27,382 --> 00:24:28,218
Drink up!
455
00:24:31,341 --> 00:24:33,830
I've laced the soup with pepper.
456
00:24:34,168 --> 00:24:36,389
Ah, I thought it was jolly spicy.
457
00:24:36,489 --> 00:24:39,564
But the active ingredient
of pepper is piperine.
458
00:24:40,163 --> 00:24:43,069
Traditionally used as an insecticide.
459
00:24:46,078 --> 00:24:48,230
So... Anyone got the shivers?
460
00:24:53,153 --> 00:24:55,677
- What the deuce is that?!
- Listen! Listen!
461
00:24:55,936 --> 00:24:58,590
No, it can't be...
462
00:25:04,009 --> 00:25:05,848
Show yourself, demon!
463
00:25:05,948 --> 00:25:07,310
Nobody move!
464
00:25:08,770 --> 00:25:11,190
No, don't. .. stay where you are!
465
00:25:18,774 --> 00:25:20,570
Out, out, out!
466
00:25:23,852 --> 00:25:26,448
Not you, Agatha.
You've got a long life to lead yet.
467
00:25:26,548 --> 00:25:29,679
- Well, we know the butler didn't do it!
- Then who did?
468
00:25:38,172 --> 00:25:39,275
My jewellery.
469
00:25:40,299 --> 00:25:42,448
The Firestone, it's gone!
470
00:25:42,934 --> 00:25:45,205
- Stolen!
- Roger.
471
00:25:49,212 --> 00:25:52,796
My son. My child!
472
00:26:13,985 --> 00:26:15,687
That poor footman.
473
00:26:17,134 --> 00:26:19,441
Roger's dead and
he can't even mourn him.
474
00:26:19,939 --> 00:26:22,369
1926, it's more like the Dark Ages.
475
00:26:23,126 --> 00:26:25,196
Did you enquire after the necklace?
476
00:26:25,405 --> 00:26:27,358
Lady Eddison brought it back from India.
477
00:26:27,458 --> 00:26:31,190
- It's worth thousands.
- This thing can sting, it can fly,
478
00:26:32,716 --> 00:26:36,178
it could wipe us all out in seconds.
Why's it playing this game?
479
00:26:36,278 --> 00:26:38,691
Every murder is essentially the same.
480
00:26:38,791 --> 00:26:41,650
They are committed because
somebody wants something.
481
00:26:41,750 --> 00:26:44,439
- But what does a Vespiform want?
- Doctor, stop it.
482
00:26:44,539 --> 00:26:46,781
The murderer is as human as you or I.
483
00:26:48,267 --> 00:26:53,163
You're right... I've been so caught up
with Giant Wasps, I've forgotten.
484
00:26:53,487 --> 00:26:55,850
- You're the expert!
- I'm not, I've told you.
485
00:26:56,033 --> 00:26:58,824
I'm just a purveyor of nonsense.
486
00:26:58,924 --> 00:27:02,808
No, cos plenty of people write detective
stories, but yours are the best,
487
00:27:02,908 --> 00:27:05,970
and why?
Why are you so good, Agatha Christie?
488
00:27:06,576 --> 00:27:08,134
Because you understand!
489
00:27:08,884 --> 00:27:09,966
You've lived,
490
00:27:10,925 --> 00:27:12,886
you've fought,
you've had your heart broken.
491
00:27:14,177 --> 00:27:15,620
You know about people,
492
00:27:16,171 --> 00:27:20,116
their passions, their hope and despair
and anger, all of those,
493
00:27:20,289 --> 00:27:24,775
tiny, huge things that can turn
the most ordinary person into a killer.
494
00:27:26,156 --> 00:27:27,865
Just think, Agatha!
495
00:27:28,161 --> 00:27:31,590
If anyone can solve this, it's you!
496
00:27:34,510 --> 00:27:37,517
I've called you here,
on this endless night,
497
00:27:38,491 --> 00:27:40,863
because we have a murderer in our midst.
498
00:27:41,116 --> 00:27:43,870
And when it comes to detection,
there's none finer.
499
00:27:44,217 --> 00:27:47,859
Ladies and gentlemen. I give you...
Agatha Christie.
500
00:27:51,288 --> 00:27:52,968
This is a crooked house.
501
00:27:53,502 --> 00:27:55,030
A house of secrets.
502
00:27:56,401 --> 00:27:59,110
To understand the solution,
we must examine them all.
503
00:28:00,439 --> 00:28:01,795
Starting with you,
504
00:28:02,650 --> 00:28:03,950
Miss Redmond.
505
00:28:06,947 --> 00:28:08,779
But I'm innocent, surely?
506
00:28:09,204 --> 00:28:10,704
You've never met these people.
507
00:28:11,049 --> 00:28:13,270
And these people had never met you!
508
00:28:14,272 --> 00:28:18,090
I think the real Robina Redmond never
left London. You're impersonating her!
509
00:28:18,190 --> 00:28:20,830
How silly! What proof do you have?
510
00:28:21,799 --> 00:28:23,790
You said you'd been to the toilet.
511
00:28:24,813 --> 00:28:27,705
Oh, I know this!
If she was really posh, she'd say loo.
512
00:28:27,892 --> 00:28:31,772
Earlier today, Miss Noble and I
found this on the lawn.
513
00:28:32,403 --> 00:28:34,552
Right beneath your bathroom window.
514
00:28:35,179 --> 00:28:37,850
You heard Miss Noble was searching
the bedrooms and panicked.
515
00:28:37,950 --> 00:28:40,139
You ran upstairs and disposed
of the evidence...
516
00:28:44,163 --> 00:28:46,305
I've never seen that thing
before in my life!
517
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:48,310
What's inside it?
518
00:28:48,867 --> 00:28:51,492
The tools of your trade, Miss Redmond.
519
00:28:52,076 --> 00:28:53,713
Or should I say...
520
00:28:54,607 --> 00:28:55,797
the Unicorn!
521
00:28:57,471 --> 00:29:00,230
You came to this house
with one sole intention.
522
00:29:00,637 --> 00:29:02,469
To steal the Firestone!
523
00:29:03,702 --> 00:29:05,324
Oh, all right then.
524
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:07,550
It's a fair cop.
525
00:29:08,477 --> 00:29:10,193
Yes, I'm the bleedin' Unicorn!
526
00:29:11,450 --> 00:29:13,432
Ever so nice to meet ya, I don't fink.
527
00:29:13,532 --> 00:29:16,013
I took my chance in the dark,
and nabbed it.
528
00:29:16,705 --> 00:29:18,198
Go on then, you knobs.
529
00:29:19,031 --> 00:29:22,310
Arrest me, sling me in jail!
530
00:29:23,769 --> 00:29:26,538
- So is she the murderer?
- Don't be so thick!
531
00:29:27,024 --> 00:29:29,490
I might be a thief,
but I ain't no killer.
532
00:29:29,837 --> 00:29:30,550
Quite.
533
00:29:31,135 --> 00:29:32,850
There are darker motives at work.
534
00:29:33,022 --> 00:29:34,745
And in examining this household,
535
00:29:35,841 --> 00:29:37,053
we come to you,
536
00:29:38,044 --> 00:29:38,931
Colonel!
537
00:29:43,100 --> 00:29:44,270
Damn it, woman!
538
00:29:44,607 --> 00:29:46,792
You with your perspicacity!
539
00:29:47,001 --> 00:29:48,653
You've rumbled me!
540
00:29:50,361 --> 00:29:52,048
Hugh! You can walk!
541
00:29:53,022 --> 00:29:54,003
But why?!
542
00:29:54,262 --> 00:29:58,863
My darling, how else could I be certain
of keeping you by my side?
543
00:29:58,963 --> 00:30:00,077
I don't understand.
544
00:30:00,177 --> 00:30:02,290
You're still a beautiful woman,
Clemency.
545
00:30:02,456 --> 00:30:04,829
Sooner or later some chap
will turn your head.
546
00:30:05,434 --> 00:30:06,949
I couldn't bear that.
547
00:30:07,298 --> 00:30:11,590
Staying in the chair was the only way
I could be certain of keeping you.
548
00:30:12,519 --> 00:30:15,959
Confound it, Mrs Christie,
how did you discover the truth?
549
00:30:16,090 --> 00:30:16,753
Um.
550
00:30:16,853 --> 00:30:19,984
Actually, I had no idea. I was just
going to say you're completely innocent
551
00:30:22,068 --> 00:30:22,868
Sorry.
552
00:30:23,647 --> 00:30:25,046
Shall I sit down then?
553
00:30:25,146 --> 00:30:26,870
I think you better had.
554
00:30:28,170 --> 00:30:31,301
- So he's not the murderer?
- Indeed not.
555
00:30:32,275 --> 00:30:34,886
To find the truth, let's return...
556
00:30:36,357 --> 00:30:37,143
to this.
557
00:30:38,471 --> 00:30:41,680
Far more than the Unicorn's
object of desire.
558
00:30:43,224 --> 00:30:45,647
The Firestone has quite a history.
559
00:30:47,745 --> 00:30:50,030
- Lady Eddison...
- I've done nothing!
560
00:30:50,211 --> 00:30:52,187
You brought it back
from India, did you not?
561
00:30:52,287 --> 00:30:53,961
Before you met the Colonel.
562
00:30:55,043 --> 00:30:56,766
You came home with malaria,
563
00:30:57,348 --> 00:31:00,550
and confined yourself
to this house for six months,
564
00:31:00,723 --> 00:31:02,757
in a room that has been kept
locked ever since.
565
00:31:02,857 --> 00:31:04,675
- Which I rather think means...
- Stop.
566
00:31:04,775 --> 00:31:06,630
- Please.
- I'm so sorry.
567
00:31:07,004 --> 00:31:08,908
But you had fallen pregnant in India.
568
00:31:09,514 --> 00:31:11,270
Unmarried and ashamed,
569
00:31:11,370 --> 00:31:14,130
you hurried back to England
with your confidante, a young maid,
570
00:31:14,230 --> 00:31:16,311
later to become housekeeper.
Miss Chandrakala.
571
00:31:16,470 --> 00:31:18,310
Clemency, is this true?
572
00:31:19,217 --> 00:31:20,550
My poor baby.
573
00:31:20,999 --> 00:31:22,470
I had to give him away.
574
00:31:22,730 --> 00:31:23,942
The shame of it.
575
00:31:24,274 --> 00:31:26,005
But you've never said a word...
576
00:31:26,105 --> 00:31:28,670
I had no choice. Imagine the scandal.
577
00:31:29,185 --> 00:31:32,470
The family name!
I'm British, I carry on!
578
00:31:33,149 --> 00:31:35,750
And it was no ordinary pregnancy.
579
00:31:36,777 --> 00:31:37,974
How can you know that?
580
00:31:38,074 --> 00:31:41,263
Scuse me, Agatha, this is my territory.
But when you heard that buzzing sound
581
00:31:41,363 --> 00:31:43,722
in the dining room, you said,
'It can't be.'
582
00:31:44,915 --> 00:31:46,386
Why did you say that?
583
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:49,436
- You'd never believe it.
- The Doctor has opened my mind
584
00:31:49,536 --> 00:31:52,126
to believe... many things.
585
00:31:53,019 --> 00:31:54,779
It was forty years ago
586
00:31:54,959 --> 00:31:57,115
in the heat of Delhi, late one night...
587
00:32:00,176 --> 00:32:02,982
I was alone.
And that's when I saw it...
588
00:32:03,176 --> 00:32:05,484
A dazzling light in the sky.
589
00:32:06,279 --> 00:32:08,543
The next day, he came to the house...
590
00:32:09,034 --> 00:32:09,957
Christopher.
591
00:32:10,057 --> 00:32:12,351
The most handsome man I'd ever seen.
592
00:32:12,932 --> 00:32:16,526
Our love blazed like a wildfire.
593
00:32:17,579 --> 00:32:19,504
I held nothing back.
594
00:32:22,530 --> 00:32:27,830
And in return he showed me
the incredible truth about himself...
595
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:31,440
He'd made himself human,
to learn about us.
596
00:32:31,822 --> 00:32:34,728
This was his true shape.
597
00:32:35,796 --> 00:32:38,255
I loved him so much, it didn't matter.
598
00:32:38,429 --> 00:32:40,477
But he was stolen from me.
599
00:32:40,577 --> 00:32:43,234
1885, the year of the great monsoon.
600
00:32:44,493 --> 00:32:47,558
The River Jumna rose up
and broke its banks.
601
00:32:47,658 --> 00:32:49,411
He was taken at the flood.
602
00:32:51,643 --> 00:32:56,078
But Christopher left me a gift,
a jewel like no other.
603
00:32:56,244 --> 00:32:58,819
I wore it always.
Part of me never forgot.
604
00:32:59,581 --> 00:33:00,800
I kept it close.
605
00:33:02,566 --> 00:33:03,648
Always.
606
00:33:03,748 --> 00:33:05,228
Just like a man,
607
00:33:05,426 --> 00:33:08,261
flashes his family jewels,
and you end up with a bun in the oven!
608
00:33:08,361 --> 00:33:10,149
A 'poor little child.'
609
00:33:11,010 --> 00:33:14,304
Forty years ago, Miss Chandrakala took
that newborn babe to an orphanage.
610
00:33:14,404 --> 00:33:16,493
But Professor Peach worked it out.
611
00:33:16,593 --> 00:33:18,959
- He found the birth certificate.
- Oh, that's Maiden...
612
00:33:19,059 --> 00:33:20,820
maiden name! Precisely.
613
00:33:21,003 --> 00:33:23,130
- So she killed him?
- I did not!
614
00:33:23,230 --> 00:33:26,830
Miss Chandrakala feared that
the Professor had unearthed your secret.
615
00:33:26,930 --> 00:33:29,079
- She was coming to warn you.
- So she killed her?
616
00:33:29,179 --> 00:33:31,409
- I did not!
- Lady Eddison...
617
00:33:32,281 --> 00:33:33,276
is innocent.
618
00:33:34,459 --> 00:33:36,790
Because at this point... Doctor.
619
00:33:37,935 --> 00:33:42,399
Thank you. At this point, when
we consider the lies and the secrets,
620
00:33:42,499 --> 00:33:45,767
and the key to these events,
then we have to consider...
621
00:33:46,369 --> 00:33:48,417
It was you, Donna Noble!
622
00:33:49,542 --> 00:33:51,678
What?! Who did I kill?!
623
00:33:51,778 --> 00:33:54,630
No, but you said it,
all along, the vital clue...
624
00:33:55,042 --> 00:33:58,987
That this whole thing is being acted out
like a murder mystery. Which means...
625
00:33:59,953 --> 00:34:02,427
It was you, Agatha Christie!
626
00:34:02,953 --> 00:34:04,893
I beg your pardon, sir!
627
00:34:04,993 --> 00:34:07,467
- So she killed them?
- No, but she wrote!
628
00:34:07,567 --> 00:34:11,419
She wrote those brilliant, clever books!
And who's her greatest admirer?
629
00:34:11,837 --> 00:34:13,763
The moving finger points...
630
00:34:14,246 --> 00:34:15,176
At you,
631
00:34:15,623 --> 00:34:17,910
- Lady Eddison!
- Leave me alone!
632
00:34:18,378 --> 00:34:21,190
- So she did kill them?
- No! But just think...
633
00:34:21,933 --> 00:34:23,968
Last Thursday night,
what were you doing?
634
00:34:24,610 --> 00:34:27,702
I was... I was in the library...
635
00:34:30,036 --> 00:34:32,038
I was reading my favourite
Agatha Christie,
636
00:34:32,138 --> 00:34:35,549
thinking about her plots,
and how clever she must be.
637
00:34:35,809 --> 00:34:37,198
How is that relevant?
638
00:34:37,298 --> 00:34:38,308
Just think.
639
00:34:38,978 --> 00:34:41,382
What else happened on Thursday night?
640
00:34:45,129 --> 00:34:46,032
I'm sorry?
641
00:34:46,132 --> 00:34:48,210
You said, on the lawn, this afternoon.
642
00:34:48,310 --> 00:34:51,240
Last Thursday night,
those boys broke into your church.
643
00:34:51,370 --> 00:34:54,105
That's correct, they did.
644
00:34:58,370 --> 00:34:59,813
I discovered the two of them.
645
00:35:00,066 --> 00:35:02,863
Thieves in the night,
I was most perturbed.
646
00:35:04,009 --> 00:35:07,269
What the blazes are you doing boys?
647
00:35:09,610 --> 00:35:11,560
But I apprehended them.
648
00:35:12,177 --> 00:35:12,960
Really?
649
00:35:13,060 --> 00:35:15,270
A man of God, against two strong lads?
650
00:35:15,473 --> 00:35:16,720
A man in his forties?
651
00:35:17,052 --> 00:35:21,910
Or should I say,
forty years old, exactly?
652
00:35:22,424 --> 00:35:23,572
Oh, my God.
653
00:35:25,701 --> 00:35:29,750
Lady Eddison. Your child,
how old would he be now?
654
00:35:30,057 --> 00:35:30,886
Forty.
655
00:35:31,220 --> 00:35:32,573
He's forty!
656
00:35:33,381 --> 00:35:34,850
Your child has come home.
657
00:35:35,825 --> 00:35:38,342
- This is poppycock!
- Oh?
658
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:42,014
You said you were taught
by the Christian Fathers. Meaning,
659
00:35:42,114 --> 00:35:43,644
raised in an orphanage!
660
00:35:43,744 --> 00:35:44,553
My son.
661
00:35:45,194 --> 00:35:46,150
Can it be?
662
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,572
You found those thieves, Reverend.
And you got angry!
663
00:35:50,199 --> 00:35:52,450
A proper, deep anger,
for the first time in your life,
664
00:35:52,550 --> 00:35:54,120
and it broke the genetic lock!
665
00:35:55,096 --> 00:35:56,156
You've changed!
666
00:35:59,030 --> 00:36:05,130
Put tho-z-z-ze thing-z-z-z
back where you found them.
667
00:36:16,192 --> 00:36:18,002
You realised your inheritance!
668
00:36:18,579 --> 00:36:22,470
After all those years,
you knew who you were.
669
00:36:22,895 --> 00:36:24,695
Oh, and then it all kicks off. Cos this,
670
00:36:24,795 --> 00:36:27,875
isn't just a jewel, it's a Vespiform
Telepathic Recorder!
671
00:36:28,502 --> 00:36:32,590
It's part of you, your brain,
your very essence.
672
00:36:32,690 --> 00:36:34,108
And when you activated.
673
00:36:34,208 --> 00:36:35,660
So did the Firestone!
674
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,933
It beamed your full identity
directly into your mind,
675
00:36:39,033 --> 00:36:40,752
and at the same time.
676
00:36:41,350 --> 00:36:45,043
It absorbed the works of Agatha
Christie, directly from Lady Eddison.
677
00:36:45,684 --> 00:36:47,329
It all became part of you!
678
00:36:48,270 --> 00:36:51,790
The mechanics of those novels
formed a template in your brain!
679
00:36:52,610 --> 00:36:56,260
You've killed, in this pattern, because
that's what you think the world is!
680
00:36:56,670 --> 00:36:59,030
Turns out we are in the middle
of a murder mystery!
681
00:36:59,130 --> 00:37:00,716
One of yours, Dame Agatha!
682
00:37:01,314 --> 00:37:01,956
Dame?
683
00:37:02,288 --> 00:37:04,290
Oh, sorry, not yet.
684
00:37:04,390 --> 00:37:05,418
So he killed them?
685
00:37:05,814 --> 00:37:07,580
Yes? Definitely?
686
00:37:08,589 --> 00:37:09,267
Yes.
687
00:37:09,642 --> 00:37:10,392
Well.
688
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:14,300
This has certainly been
an entertaining evening.
689
00:37:15,779 --> 00:37:19,620
Really, you can't believe any
of this surely, Lady Eddiz-z-z-z-on?
690
00:37:20,322 --> 00:37:21,220
Lady who?
691
00:37:22,210 --> 00:37:24,000
Lady Eddiz-z-z-z-on.
692
00:37:24,550 --> 00:37:27,790
- Little bit of buzzing there, Vicar.
- Don't make me angry!
693
00:37:28,050 --> 00:37:30,110
Why, what happens then?
694
00:37:30,961 --> 00:37:33,939
Damn it, you humanz-z-z-z-z-z-z!
695
00:37:34,329 --> 00:37:37,338
Worshipping your tribal sky godz-z-z-z!
696
00:37:37,612 --> 00:37:39,249
I am so much more!
697
00:37:39,516 --> 00:37:42,470
That night. The universe
exploded in my mind!
698
00:37:42,646 --> 00:37:45,190
I wanted to take what waz-z-z mine.
699
00:37:45,466 --> 00:37:51,670
And you, Agatha Christie, with your
railway station bookstall romancez-z-z.
700
00:37:52,094 --> 00:37:54,394
What'z-z-z- to stop me killing you?
701
00:37:54,494 --> 00:37:57,070
Oh, my dear God, my child!
702
00:37:57,170 --> 00:38:00,076
What'z-z-z to stop me killing you all?
703
00:38:03,315 --> 00:38:05,579
- Forgive me!
- No, no Clemency, come back!
704
00:38:05,679 --> 00:38:07,570
Keep away, keep away my darling!
705
00:38:07,923 --> 00:38:08,579
No!
706
00:38:08,911 --> 00:38:10,830
No! No more murder!
707
00:38:10,930 --> 00:38:12,647
If my imagination made you kill,
708
00:38:12,747 --> 00:38:16,630
then my imagination will find
a way to stop you, foul creature!
709
00:38:20,687 --> 00:38:22,950
Wait! Now it's chasing us!
710
00:38:30,272 --> 00:38:32,610
Over here! Come and get me, Reverend!
711
00:38:32,710 --> 00:38:34,071
Agatha, what are you doing?
712
00:38:34,620 --> 00:38:36,978
If I started this, Doctor,
then I must stop it!
713
00:38:39,889 --> 00:38:40,670
Come on!
714
00:38:52,950 --> 00:38:56,110
It's all my fault, it's all my fault,
it's all my fault!
715
00:38:58,632 --> 00:39:01,140
You said this is the night
Agatha Christie loses her memory.
716
00:39:01,240 --> 00:39:02,684
Time is in flux, Donna!
717
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:06,651
This could be the night Agatha Christie
loses her life and history gets changed!
718
00:39:06,751 --> 00:39:07,876
Where's she going?
719
00:39:20,138 --> 00:39:20,899
The lake!
720
00:39:20,999 --> 00:39:23,003
She's heading for the lake.
What's she doing?
721
00:39:31,411 --> 00:39:32,200
Here I am!
722
00:39:32,631 --> 00:39:34,132
The honey in the trap!
723
00:39:34,927 --> 00:39:37,461
- Come to me, Vespiform.
- She's controlling it.
724
00:39:37,561 --> 00:39:40,260
Its mind is based on her thought
processes, they're linked.
725
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:41,390
Quite so, Doctor!
726
00:39:41,490 --> 00:39:44,726
If l die, then this creature
might die with me.
727
00:39:45,621 --> 00:39:46,630
Don't hurt her!
728
00:39:46,730 --> 00:39:50,160
You're not meant to be like this, you've
got the wrong template in your mind.
729
00:39:50,260 --> 00:39:51,270
It's not listening.
730
00:40:16,260 --> 00:40:17,767
How do you kill a wasp?
731
00:40:18,837 --> 00:40:19,688
Drown it.
732
00:40:20,330 --> 00:40:21,722
Just like his father.
733
00:40:21,822 --> 00:40:23,680
Donna, that thing couldn't help itself.
734
00:40:24,054 --> 00:40:25,227
Neither could I.
735
00:40:30,157 --> 00:40:32,060
Death comes as the end.
736
00:40:32,420 --> 00:40:34,086
And justice is served.
737
00:40:35,326 --> 00:40:37,022
Murder at the Vicar's Rage.
738
00:40:39,068 --> 00:40:40,394
Needs a bit of work.
739
00:40:40,830 --> 00:40:42,890
Just one mystery left, Doctor.
740
00:40:44,199 --> 00:40:46,139
Who exactly are you?
741
00:40:49,510 --> 00:40:52,700
Oh, it's the Firestone,
it's part of the Vespiform's mind!
742
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,162
It's dying, and it's
connected to Agatha.
743
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:05,580
It let her go.
744
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:09,670
Right at the end, the Vespiform
chose to save someone's life.
745
00:41:10,240 --> 00:41:11,586
Is she all right, though?
746
00:41:11,686 --> 00:41:13,597
Oh, of course. The amnesia!
747
00:41:13,697 --> 00:41:16,118
Wiped her mind of everything
the wasp, the murders.
748
00:41:16,381 --> 00:41:17,230
And us.
749
00:41:18,033 --> 00:41:19,584
She'll forget about us.
750
00:41:19,684 --> 00:41:21,467
Yeah but we've solved another riddle.
751
00:41:21,855 --> 00:41:23,648
The Mystery of Agatha Christie.
752
00:41:24,250 --> 00:41:27,750
And tomorrow morning, her car
gets found by the side of a lake.
753
00:41:28,921 --> 00:41:32,380
A few days later she turns up
in a hotel in Harrogate,
754
00:41:32,725 --> 00:41:34,546
with no idea of what just happened.
755
00:41:40,371 --> 00:41:41,910
No-one'll ever know.
756
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:47,060
Lady Eddison, and the Colonel
and all the staff, what about them?
757
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:49,304
A shameful story.
They'd never talk of it.
758
00:41:49,404 --> 00:41:50,430
Too British.
759
00:41:51,182 --> 00:41:54,498
While the Unicorn does a bunk,
back to London town.
760
00:41:55,030 --> 00:41:56,983
She could never even say she was there.
761
00:41:57,897 --> 00:41:59,211
But what happens to Agatha?
762
00:41:59,448 --> 00:42:00,581
Oh, great life!
763
00:42:00,988 --> 00:42:05,890
Met another man, married again, saw
the world, wrote and wrote and wrote.
764
00:42:06,091 --> 00:42:08,224
She never thought her books
were any good, though.
765
00:42:08,499 --> 00:42:10,777
And she must've spent
all those years wondering.
766
00:42:13,595 --> 00:42:17,624
Thing is, I don't think
she ever quite forgot.
767
00:42:18,500 --> 00:42:20,383
A great mind like that!
Some of the details
768
00:42:20,483 --> 00:42:21,835
kept bleeding through,
769
00:42:22,391 --> 00:42:25,310
all the stuff her imagination could use.
Like Miss Marple!
770
00:42:25,773 --> 00:42:28,845
- I should've made her sign a contract.
- And where is it, where is it?
771
00:42:28,945 --> 00:42:29,827
Hold on.
772
00:42:31,673 --> 00:42:32,662
Here we go.
773
00:42:36,094 --> 00:42:36,694
C.
774
00:42:39,598 --> 00:42:44,381
That is C for Cybermen,
C for Carrionites.
775
00:42:47,050 --> 00:42:47,808
And.
776
00:42:48,950 --> 00:42:50,636
Christie, Agatha!
777
00:42:51,455 --> 00:42:52,582
Look at that.
778
00:42:52,682 --> 00:42:53,964
She did remember.
779
00:42:54,130 --> 00:42:56,617
Somewhere in the back
of her mind, it all lingered.
780
00:42:58,520 --> 00:42:59,833
And that's not all.
781
00:42:59,933 --> 00:43:01,351
Look at the copyright page.
782
00:43:05,620 --> 00:43:06,925
Facsimile edition.
783
00:43:07,588 --> 00:43:08,950
Published in the year.
784
00:43:11,906 --> 00:43:13,120
5 billion!
785
00:43:13,708 --> 00:43:15,272
People never stop reading them.
786
00:43:15,948 --> 00:43:19,150
She is the best selling
novelist of all time.
787
00:43:21,481 --> 00:43:22,519
But she never knew.
788
00:43:22,619 --> 00:43:24,352
Well, no-one knows how they're
going to be remembered.
789
00:43:24,452 --> 00:43:26,180
All you can do is hope for the best.
790
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:28,213
Maybe that's what kept her writing.
791
00:43:29,201 --> 00:43:30,991
Same thing keeps me travelling.
792
00:43:32,357 --> 00:43:33,390
Onwards?
793
00:43:34,728 --> 00:43:35,650
Onwards!
794
00:43:40,850 --> 00:43:43,708
This is the biggest library
in the universe. So where is everyone?
795
00:43:46,174 --> 00:43:48,499
Run, for God's sake run.
796
00:43:48,599 --> 00:43:49,384
Run!
797
00:43:54,521 --> 00:43:57,180
Professor River Song, archaeologist.
798
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:58,830
The shadows are moving again.
799
00:43:58,930 --> 00:44:01,590
- How could a shadow be infected?
- It's Vashta Nerada.
800
00:44:01,690 --> 00:44:02,530
Run!
801
00:44:03,382 --> 00:44:05,870
Something came to this library
and killed everything in it.
802
00:44:06,291 --> 00:44:07,799
- Donna?
- Yeah?
803
00:44:08,610 --> 00:44:10,030
Stay out of the shadows.
804
00:44:36,999 --> 00:44:42,793
~ Bad Wolf Team ~
~ www.seriessub.com ~