1
00:00:08,311 --> 00:00:11,029
Well, here we are.
Hedgewick's World -
2
00:00:11,087 --> 00:00:14,485
the biggest and best amusement
park there will ever be
3
00:00:14,487 --> 00:00:16,525
and we've got a golden ticket!
4
00:00:16,527 --> 00:00:19,205
Eh, eh? Fun! Fun?
5
00:00:19,207 --> 00:00:22,125
Your stupid box can't even get us
to the right place.
6
00:00:22,127 --> 00:00:25,405
This is, like, a moon base or
something. It's not the moon.
7
00:00:25,407 --> 00:00:29,245
Actually, I think it does
look like the moon. Only dirtier.
8
00:00:29,247 --> 00:00:31,965
Hey, guys it's not the moon, OK?
9
00:00:31,967 --> 00:00:34,205
It's a Spacey Zoomer ride, or it
was.
10
00:00:34,207 --> 00:00:38,085
Psst! 'Scuse I. I don't suppose you
happen to be my lift off planet?
11
00:00:38,087 --> 00:00:40,885
Dave's Discount Interstellar
Removals? 'Fraid not.
12
00:00:40,887 --> 00:00:43,045
They were meant to be here six
months ago.
13
00:00:43,047 --> 00:00:45,085
That's Dave for you, see,
unreliable.
14
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:47,605
Stay where you are! Oops.
15
00:00:47,607 --> 00:00:51,205
Throw down your weapons
and identify yourselves.
16
00:00:51,207 --> 00:00:53,645
No. No weapons! Golden ticket!
17
00:00:53,647 --> 00:00:55,765
Spacey Zoomer? Free ice cream?
18
00:00:55,767 --> 00:00:59,645
Who are you? This planet is closed,
by Imperial order.
19
00:00:59,647 --> 00:01:01,645
How's this?
20
00:01:01,647 --> 00:01:05,405
Oh. Welcome, Proconsul. I wish
they'd told us you were coming.
21
00:01:05,407 --> 00:01:06,885
Any news of the Emperor?
22
00:01:06,887 --> 00:01:10,805
Oh, the Emperor... No, no,
none that you'd, er...
23
00:01:10,807 --> 00:01:12,365
We pray for his return.
24
00:01:12,367 --> 00:01:15,845
If there is anything you need,
my platoon is at your service.
25
00:01:15,847 --> 00:01:19,125
Right! Righty-oh.
Well, carry on, Captain.
26
00:01:19,127 --> 00:01:21,765
Platoon, let's move out.
27
00:01:21,767 --> 00:01:24,925
On the double. Two, three, four!
Two, three, four!
28
00:01:24,927 --> 00:01:26,247
Two, three, four!
29
00:01:27,967 --> 00:01:29,165
Have they gone?
30
00:01:29,167 --> 00:01:30,205
Yes.
31
00:01:30,207 --> 00:01:32,847
Uniforms give me
the heebie-jeebies. Come on.
32
00:01:35,847 --> 00:01:38,365
They can't stop me being here,
but they don't like it.
33
00:01:38,367 --> 00:01:41,525
Ha-ha! You see?
34
00:01:41,527 --> 00:01:44,685
I told you it was amazing.
Well, it used to be.
35
00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:47,605
It closed down. Wish I'd known
that before I landed here.
36
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:50,245
But let me show you my collection.
37
00:01:50,247 --> 00:01:53,407
Come along, follow me,
this way. This way in, come on.
38
00:01:54,407 --> 00:01:55,605
Welcome to my show...
39
00:01:55,607 --> 00:02:01,285
Webley's World of Wonders. Miracles,
marvels and more await you.
40
00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:03,047
I am impresario Webley.
41
00:02:04,927 --> 00:02:11,205
You see before you waxwork
representations of the famous...
42
00:02:11,207 --> 00:02:13,565
and the infamous.
43
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,567
Anybody here play chess?
44
00:02:17,007 --> 00:02:18,565
Perhaps you, young man?
45
00:02:18,567 --> 00:02:20,685
Actually, I'm in my school
chess club.
46
00:02:20,687 --> 00:02:22,247
Ah, follow me.
47
00:02:26,047 --> 00:02:30,165
Now, let me demonstrate to you all
the wonder of the age,
48
00:02:30,167 --> 00:02:31,925
the miracle of modernity.
49
00:02:31,927 --> 00:02:34,525
We defeated them all,
a thousand years ago.
50
00:02:34,527 --> 00:02:38,765
But now he's back, to destroy you.
51
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:41,245
Behold! The enemy!
52
00:02:41,247 --> 00:02:43,087
Cyberman! Get down!
53
00:02:45,855 --> 00:03:18,458
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
54
00:03:19,207 --> 00:03:21,165
No need to panic, my young friends.
55
00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:23,405
We all know there are no more
living Cybermen.
56
00:03:23,407 --> 00:03:29,405
What you are seeing is a miracle -
the 699th wonder of the universe.
57
00:03:29,407 --> 00:03:32,125
As displayed before the Imperial
court,
58
00:03:32,127 --> 00:03:34,965
and only here to destroy you -
at chess!
59
00:03:34,967 --> 00:03:37,205
Careful now. An empty shell.
60
00:03:37,207 --> 00:03:39,565
And yet it moves.
61
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,565
How? Magic.
62
00:03:41,567 --> 00:03:44,445
That might well be, young lady.
63
00:03:44,447 --> 00:03:49,485
A single penny wins you five
Imperial shillings
64
00:03:49,487 --> 00:03:53,805
if you can beat
this empty shell at chess.
65
00:03:53,807 --> 00:03:57,405
I haven't got a penny.
But I've got a sandwich.
66
00:03:57,407 --> 00:03:59,167
All right, take a seat.
67
00:04:00,527 --> 00:04:06,047
It is free of all devices,
and yet it has never been beaten.
68
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:10,367
Would you like to make the first
move, young man?
69
00:04:16,247 --> 00:04:19,125
Oh, no, Artie.
No, don't do that, it...
70
00:04:19,127 --> 00:04:21,687
It's a fool's mate.
71
00:04:23,167 --> 00:04:26,845
If you can tell me how it works,
I'll give you a silver penny.
72
00:04:26,847 --> 00:04:29,167
I think... you do it with mirrors.
73
00:04:30,247 --> 00:04:35,565
Hmm, mirrors, clever girl.
Well, let's see, hey? Low tech.
74
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:39,047
It's a puppet, monofilament strings,
which means the brains are in...
75
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:45,207
Hello. Hello. I'm the brains. Hello.
Give us a hand.
76
00:04:49,807 --> 00:04:51,925
They call me Porridge.
77
00:04:51,927 --> 00:04:54,125
Ah, it's good to be out of that box.
78
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:58,647
For you, Miss... an Imperial penny.
79
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:06,927
I have not one
but THREE Cybermen in my collection.
80
00:05:09,687 --> 00:05:11,525
Is that the king? Emperor.
81
00:05:11,527 --> 00:05:15,605
Ludens Nimrod Kendrick, etc, etc,
the 41st - defender of humanity,
82
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:18,685
imperator of known space.
He looks a bit full of himself.
83
00:05:18,687 --> 00:05:21,005
Don't say things like that
about the Imperial family -
84
00:05:21,007 --> 00:05:23,085
you can end up on the run
for the rest of your life.
85
00:05:23,087 --> 00:05:25,325
They don't sound very nice.
86
00:05:25,327 --> 00:05:28,285
Go on. If the kids want to ride
the Spacey Zoomer,
87
00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:30,525
then I can operate
the gravity console.
88
00:05:30,527 --> 00:05:31,847
Angie!
89
00:05:36,807 --> 00:05:39,485
Whoa!
90
00:05:39,487 --> 00:05:42,767
Smile! Say, "Spacey Zoomer!"
91
00:05:45,607 --> 00:05:48,007
We're flying! Having a good time?
92
00:05:55,087 --> 00:05:58,125
I think that was the most fun
I've had in my whole life.
93
00:05:58,127 --> 00:05:59,845
It was...
94
00:05:59,847 --> 00:06:01,207
OK.
95
00:06:02,407 --> 00:06:05,685
Clara? I think outer space is
actually very interesting.
96
00:06:05,687 --> 00:06:08,805
Right, wonderful day out, Doctor,
but it's time to get the kids home.
97
00:06:08,807 --> 00:06:11,965
Yeah. Um, no.
Not actually ready to leave.
98
00:06:11,967 --> 00:06:15,125
Why not? I dunno. Reasons.
99
00:06:15,127 --> 00:06:17,605
What reasons? Insects. Funny insects.
100
00:06:17,607 --> 00:06:20,325
I should add them
to my funny insect collection.
101
00:06:20,327 --> 00:06:23,565
You collect funny insects?
Yeah, I'm starting to.
102
00:06:23,567 --> 00:06:25,047
Right now.
103
00:06:26,287 --> 00:06:28,685
How long do we have to stay here?
104
00:06:28,687 --> 00:06:31,805
Not long. Have a nap. I'll wake you
when we're ready to leave.
105
00:06:31,807 --> 00:06:33,645
Comfy? Sleep well.
106
00:06:33,647 --> 00:06:34,967
Good night.
107
00:06:38,927 --> 00:06:40,685
Don't wander off.
108
00:06:40,687 --> 00:06:43,685
I'm not just saying,
"Don't wander off" - I MEAN it.
109
00:06:43,687 --> 00:06:47,485
Otherwise you'll wander off,
and the next thing you know,
110
00:06:47,487 --> 00:06:50,525
somebody's going to have to start
rescuing somebody.
111
00:06:50,527 --> 00:06:54,047
From what? Nothing. Nobody needs
rescuing from anything.
112
00:06:55,447 --> 00:06:57,565
Don't wander off.
113
00:06:57,567 --> 00:06:58,807
Sweet dreams.
114
00:07:09,007 --> 00:07:12,525
Mmm. Mmm!
115
00:07:12,527 --> 00:07:15,565
Total takings for the day -
one sandwich.
116
00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:17,405
Better than no sandwich, of course.
117
00:07:17,407 --> 00:07:20,687
Not as good as TWO sandwiches,
or even a chicken...
118
00:07:21,967 --> 00:07:23,605
That's a bit odd.
119
00:07:23,607 --> 00:07:26,567
That's not funny,
give me my hands back.
120
00:07:36,767 --> 00:07:39,925
Upgrade in progress!
121
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,245
I HATE the future. It's stupid.
122
00:07:42,247 --> 00:07:44,925
There's not even phone service.
I'm out of here.
123
00:07:44,927 --> 00:07:46,485
The Doctor said to not wander off.
124
00:07:46,487 --> 00:07:48,325
He said that,
125
00:07:48,327 --> 00:07:51,125
and then he wandered off.
I don't think Clara would like that.
126
00:07:51,127 --> 00:07:53,967
She's not our mum.
Don't leave me here.
127
00:07:57,087 --> 00:08:00,165
Was this really the biggest
amusement park in the universe?
128
00:08:00,167 --> 00:08:02,045
Yeah. Hedgewick bought the planet
cheap.
129
00:08:02,047 --> 00:08:05,045
It'd been trashed in the Cyber-Wars.
Who were we fighting?
130
00:08:05,047 --> 00:08:09,165
Cybermen. Technologically upgraded
warriors. We couldn't win.
131
00:08:09,167 --> 00:08:10,565
Sometimes we fought to a draw,
132
00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:14,045
but then they'd upgrade themselves,
fix their weaknesses and destroy us.
133
00:08:14,047 --> 00:08:17,165
It's hard to fight an enemy that
uses your armies as spare parts.
134
00:08:17,167 --> 00:08:20,085
You beat them, though - beat them
or you wouldn't be here. How?
135
00:08:20,087 --> 00:08:23,765
Look up there - that corner
of the sky. What do you see?
136
00:08:23,767 --> 00:08:25,845
Nothing. It's just black.
137
00:08:25,847 --> 00:08:28,285
No stars, no nothing.
138
00:08:28,287 --> 00:08:32,845
Used to be the Tiberion Spiral
Galaxy. A million star systems.
139
00:08:32,847 --> 00:08:36,165
A hundred million worlds.
A billion trillion people.
140
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:40,887
It's not there any more. No more
Tiberion galaxy. No more Cybermen.
141
00:08:42,487 --> 00:08:43,925
It was effective.
142
00:08:43,927 --> 00:08:46,765
It's horrible. Yeah.
143
00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:48,725
I feel like a monster sometimes.
144
00:08:48,727 --> 00:08:49,965
Why?
145
00:08:49,967 --> 00:08:53,045
Because instead of mourning
a billion trillion dead people,
146
00:08:53,047 --> 00:08:54,845
I just feel sorry for the poor
blighter
147
00:08:54,847 --> 00:08:56,965
who had to press the button
and blow it all up.
148
00:08:56,967 --> 00:09:00,405
Clara! Did you tell Angie
she could go to the barracks?
149
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:01,845
You KNOW I didn't.
150
00:09:01,847 --> 00:09:04,685
She hasn't...
She's just gone in there.
151
00:09:04,687 --> 00:09:06,527
Come on.
152
00:09:08,927 --> 00:09:11,605
I can't fix this.
It can't be broken.
153
00:09:11,607 --> 00:09:14,125
It's a solid state sub-ether
ansible class communicator.
154
00:09:14,127 --> 00:09:15,685
Just run the diagnostics.
155
00:09:15,687 --> 00:09:19,285
There's nothing left to diagnose.
It's not broken. It's empty.
156
00:09:19,287 --> 00:09:22,885
All the components have gone. Well,
you must have replacement parts.
157
00:09:22,887 --> 00:09:24,485
Not enough to build a new one.
158
00:09:24,487 --> 00:09:27,165
Captain, the weather-controller
is malfunctioning again.
159
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,765
There's storms, heat waves, snow.
160
00:09:28,767 --> 00:09:32,805
Hello. I'm bored!
161
00:09:32,807 --> 00:09:34,565
Where's your big sister?
162
00:09:34,567 --> 00:09:37,925
Clara? She's not my sister.
She's stupid.
163
00:09:37,927 --> 00:09:39,925
She's talking to Porridge.
164
00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:41,845
She talks to her porridge?
165
00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:43,767
Porridge. That little bloke.
166
00:09:46,607 --> 00:09:48,167
We need to have a chat.
167
00:09:53,967 --> 00:09:56,487
I'm not scared, if you're wondering.
168
00:09:57,607 --> 00:10:00,247
I just think I ought to turn
the lights back on.
169
00:10:36,367 --> 00:10:38,325
So, tell me about the little bloke.
170
00:10:38,327 --> 00:10:40,045
Well, you must have seen him.
171
00:10:40,047 --> 00:10:43,205
Angie, Angie! She has to turn up
and spoil everything!
172
00:10:43,207 --> 00:10:46,807
I wasn't doing anything!
Why can't you just leave me alone?!
173
00:10:50,607 --> 00:10:51,925
Cyberman!
174
00:10:51,927 --> 00:10:54,325
Angie!
175
00:10:54,327 --> 00:10:55,927
Attack formation!
176
00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:58,807
No!
177
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,087
Attack formation - quickly!
178
00:11:06,647 --> 00:11:09,245
Upgrade in progress!
179
00:11:09,247 --> 00:11:10,967
Angie!
180
00:11:24,807 --> 00:11:25,965
Angie! Clara, Clara...!
181
00:11:25,967 --> 00:11:28,085
That was a Cyberman!
But they're extinct.
182
00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:31,367
Listen to me, I will get her back.
Captain, a word, please.
183
00:11:32,807 --> 00:11:34,405
Now, correct me if I'm wrong,
184
00:11:34,407 --> 00:11:37,125
but I take it your platoon
doesn't do much fighting?
185
00:11:37,127 --> 00:11:39,045
What do you expect? What?
186
00:11:39,047 --> 00:11:40,405
We're a punishment platoon.
187
00:11:40,407 --> 00:11:43,167
It's why they sent us out here,
so we can't get into trouble.
188
00:11:45,567 --> 00:11:48,525
Ah, right, right, well, OK.
As Imperial Consul,
189
00:11:48,527 --> 00:11:50,645
I am putting Clara in charge.
190
00:11:50,647 --> 00:11:52,205
Clara, stay alive until I get back,
191
00:11:52,207 --> 00:11:55,325
and don't let anyone blow up
this planet.
192
00:11:55,327 --> 00:11:57,125
Is that something
they're likely to do?
193
00:11:57,127 --> 00:11:59,405
Get to somewhere defensible.
Where are YOU going?
194
00:11:59,407 --> 00:12:03,085
I'm getting Angie, finding Artie
and looking for funny insects.
195
00:12:03,087 --> 00:12:07,567
Stay alive. And you lot,
no blowing up this planet!
196
00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:14,647
Put me down! I hate you!
197
00:12:17,247 --> 00:12:19,767
Artie? Artie, what's happening?
198
00:12:22,767 --> 00:12:24,405
Please stand by.
199
00:12:24,407 --> 00:12:26,847
You will be upgraded.
200
00:12:31,967 --> 00:12:35,365
Cyberiad class weaponry.
I've taken it out of storage.
201
00:12:35,367 --> 00:12:39,565
Good. We need to find somewhere
defensible. Where?
202
00:12:39,567 --> 00:12:43,125
The beach, the Giant's Cauldron...
203
00:12:43,127 --> 00:12:45,165
Natty Longshoe's Comical Castle.
204
00:12:45,167 --> 00:12:47,325
Real castle? Drawbridge? Moat?
205
00:12:47,327 --> 00:12:48,805
Yes. But comical.
206
00:12:48,807 --> 00:12:50,525
We'll go there.
207
00:12:50,527 --> 00:12:53,285
Ma'am... My platoon can deal
with one Cyberman.
208
00:12:53,287 --> 00:12:56,405
And there are protocols if we cannot
immediately find and destroy it.
209
00:12:56,407 --> 00:12:59,205
Blowing-up-the-planet protocols?
Respectfully, ma'am...
210
00:12:59,207 --> 00:13:01,445
Somewhere defensible.
No blowing up the planet.
211
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:04,807
She's your commanding officer now,
isn't she, Captain?
212
00:13:08,727 --> 00:13:10,127
Yes...
213
00:13:11,447 --> 00:13:12,607
sir.
214
00:13:16,607 --> 00:13:19,085
You really saw a Cyberman?
We really did.
215
00:13:19,087 --> 00:13:22,245
Have you reported it
to the Imperium? No communicators.
216
00:13:22,247 --> 00:13:24,245
So you're going to do what she says.
217
00:13:24,247 --> 00:13:27,487
Right, let's all spend the night
at Natty Longshoe's Comical Castle.
218
00:13:29,447 --> 00:13:30,647
Artie?
219
00:13:38,407 --> 00:13:39,885
Firstly,
220
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:41,645
if anybody's watching this,
221
00:13:41,647 --> 00:13:45,285
those children are under my
protection. I'm coming to get them.
222
00:13:45,287 --> 00:13:47,645
And secondly...
223
00:13:47,647 --> 00:13:49,247
little metal machine...
224
00:13:50,687 --> 00:13:53,127
you are beautiful.
225
00:14:01,927 --> 00:14:04,207
Not even a Cybermat any more, eh?
226
00:14:05,927 --> 00:14:07,487
Cybermites?
227
00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:17,725
Now... there's a local transmat link
open to your home.
228
00:14:17,727 --> 00:14:20,007
If I can just find the frequency...
229
00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:25,205
Hey, that really shouldn't
have worked.
230
00:14:25,207 --> 00:14:27,527
Doctor, help us. Angie! Artie!
231
00:14:33,287 --> 00:14:38,165
Webley? We needed children,
but the children had stopped coming.
232
00:14:38,167 --> 00:14:39,885
You brought us children.
233
00:14:39,887 --> 00:14:44,607
Hail to you, the Doctor,
saviour of the Cybermen!
234
00:14:45,807 --> 00:14:48,805
What would the Empire do
if they WERE alerted? I told you -
235
00:14:48,807 --> 00:14:50,365
tell me to blow up the planet.
236
00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:52,325
After they got us off?
237
00:14:52,327 --> 00:14:56,245
Captain, you want to take that one?
No, ma'am. Just blow the sucker up.
238
00:14:56,247 --> 00:14:58,205
Drawbridge, moat - brilliant.
239
00:14:58,207 --> 00:15:01,245
With respect, ma'am,
we ought to be hunting the creature.
240
00:15:01,247 --> 00:15:04,485
The only reason I'm still alive is
because I do what the Doctor says.
241
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:08,365
Can you guarantee me you'd bring
back my children alive and unharmed?
242
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:11,205
I trust the Doctor.
You think he knows what he's doing?
243
00:15:11,207 --> 00:15:12,807
I'm not sure I'd go THAT far.
244
00:15:15,287 --> 00:15:18,765
As the battle raged
between humanity and the Cyberiad,
245
00:15:18,767 --> 00:15:22,885
the Cyber-Planners built a Valkyrie,
to save critically damaged units
246
00:15:22,887 --> 00:15:27,125
and bring them here
and, one by one, repair them.
247
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,605
The people who vanished
from the amusement park -
248
00:15:29,607 --> 00:15:31,965
they were spare parts
249
00:15:31,967 --> 00:15:33,245
for repairs.
250
00:15:33,247 --> 00:15:36,725
We've upgraded ourselves.
The next model will be undefeatable.
251
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:39,165
Nothing's undefeatable.
252
00:15:39,167 --> 00:15:42,845
We needed children
to build a new Cyber-Planner.
253
00:15:42,847 --> 00:15:48,245
A child's brain, with its infinite
potential, is perfect for our needs.
254
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:49,845
But we no longer need the children.
255
00:15:49,847 --> 00:15:53,685
The Cybermites have been scanning
YOUR brain, Doctor.
256
00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:54,965
It's quite remarkable.
257
00:15:54,967 --> 00:15:59,205
Also completely useless to you.
Cybermen use human parts.
258
00:15:59,207 --> 00:16:02,405
I'm not human.
259
00:16:02,407 --> 00:16:04,605
You can't convert non-humans.
260
00:16:04,607 --> 00:16:08,525
Well, that was true a long time ago.
But we've upgraded ourselves.
261
00:16:08,527 --> 00:16:12,407
Current Cyber units use
almost any living components.
262
00:16:19,647 --> 00:16:21,447
Aaaargh!
263
00:16:27,527 --> 00:16:29,247
Incorporated. Yes.
264
00:16:31,167 --> 00:16:33,405
Unfamiliar pulmonary set-up.
265
00:16:33,407 --> 00:16:35,445
Nervous system hyperconductive.
266
00:16:35,447 --> 00:16:37,767
Remarkable brain processing speed.
267
00:16:39,327 --> 00:16:43,367
Ooh! Amazing!
268
00:16:44,807 --> 00:16:48,605
Get out of my head!
Stop rummaging in my mind!
269
00:16:48,607 --> 00:16:53,245
Just you try and stop me.
Ooh, who's Clara?
270
00:16:53,247 --> 00:16:56,885
Why are you thinking about her
so much? Enough!
271
00:16:56,887 --> 00:17:00,407
Fascinating. A complete
mental block. Highly effective.
272
00:17:01,767 --> 00:17:03,325
Relax, relax.
273
00:17:03,327 --> 00:17:07,325
If you just relax, you will find this
a perfectly pleasant experience.
274
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:08,565
You are being upgraded
275
00:17:08,567 --> 00:17:12,045
and incorporated into the Cyberiad
as a Cyber-Planner.
276
00:17:12,047 --> 00:17:15,085
Get out of my head!
277
00:17:15,087 --> 00:17:17,485
What is this place?
A network? A hive?
278
00:17:17,487 --> 00:17:20,125
You're getting signals
from every Cyberman everywhere.
279
00:17:20,127 --> 00:17:21,567
How many of you are there?
280
00:17:24,487 --> 00:17:28,245
Oh... this is brilliant!
281
00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:32,845
I'm so clever already, and now
I'm a million times more clever.
282
00:17:32,847 --> 00:17:37,365
And what a brain! Not a human brain,
not even SLIGHTLY human.
283
00:17:37,367 --> 00:17:40,885
I mean, I'll have to completely
rewrite the neural interface,
284
00:17:40,887 --> 00:17:48,685
but this is going to be
the most efficient Cyber-Planner!
285
00:17:48,687 --> 00:17:50,445
Not a great name, that, is it?
286
00:17:50,447 --> 00:17:54,605
I could call myself Mr Clever.
287
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:58,125
So much raw data... Time Lords.
288
00:17:58,127 --> 00:18:02,805
There's information on the Time Lords
in here!
289
00:18:02,807 --> 00:18:06,245
Oh, this is just dreamy!
290
00:18:06,247 --> 00:18:11,287
Right, I'm allowing you access to
memories on Time Lord regeneration.
291
00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:17,965
Fantastic!
292
00:18:17,967 --> 00:18:19,685
I could regenerate now.
293
00:18:19,687 --> 00:18:21,445
Big blast of regeneration energy,
294
00:18:21,447 --> 00:18:23,725
burn out any little Cyber widgets
in my brain,
295
00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:25,645
along with everything
you're connected to.
296
00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:29,005
Don't want to. You diss me up,
who knows what we'll get next?
297
00:18:29,007 --> 00:18:30,447
But I can.
298
00:18:32,687 --> 00:18:34,925
Stalemate, then.
299
00:18:34,927 --> 00:18:38,365
One of us needs to control this head.
300
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,205
We're too well-balanced.
301
00:18:40,207 --> 00:18:41,645
What did you say?
302
00:18:41,647 --> 00:18:43,765
No, no, no, I heard you.
303
00:18:43,767 --> 00:18:47,005
Rhetorical device to keep me
thinking about it a bit more.
304
00:18:47,007 --> 00:18:48,805
Stalemate.
305
00:18:48,807 --> 00:18:51,925
We each control 49.881%
of this brain.
306
00:18:51,927 --> 00:18:54,725
0.238 of the brain
is still in the balance.
307
00:18:54,727 --> 00:18:56,645
Whoever gets this
gets the whole thing.
308
00:18:56,647 --> 00:18:59,845
Do you play chess? The rules of
chess are in my memory banks.
309
00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:02,165
You're proposing we play chess
to end the stalemate?
310
00:19:02,167 --> 00:19:04,605
Winner takes all.
Nobody can access that portion
311
00:19:04,607 --> 00:19:06,527
of the brain without winning
the game.
312
00:19:10,247 --> 00:19:11,647
You can't win!
313
00:19:13,167 --> 00:19:14,605
Try me.
314
00:19:14,607 --> 00:19:20,205
You understand, when I DO win,
the Cyberiad gets your brains
315
00:19:20,207 --> 00:19:23,047
and memories. All of it.
316
00:19:24,607 --> 00:19:26,765
When I win, you get out of my head,
317
00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:29,165
you let the children go,
318
00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:32,165
and nobody dies.
319
00:19:32,167 --> 00:19:36,127
You got that? Nobody dies!
320
00:19:42,207 --> 00:19:44,685
'Castle's clear.
Missy, confirm status.'
321
00:19:44,687 --> 00:19:47,007
All clear in the power station.
322
00:19:52,087 --> 00:19:53,765
It's Missy.
323
00:19:53,767 --> 00:19:56,045
Something's out there.
324
00:19:56,047 --> 00:19:58,205
'What do you mean?
Is it the Cyberman?'
325
00:19:58,207 --> 00:20:01,125
I don't know. I couldn't see it.
It was only for a moment.
326
00:20:01,127 --> 00:20:04,047
Can I hide? Is it OK if I hide?
327
00:20:06,287 --> 00:20:08,687
DON'T MOVE! I'M IN THE ARMY!
328
00:20:33,807 --> 00:20:37,525
Erm, ma'am, Missy said she saw
something, and then she went quiet.
329
00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:40,327
It's on its way, then.
Weapons! Show me.
330
00:20:41,527 --> 00:20:42,765
Only one gun?
331
00:20:42,767 --> 00:20:45,245
Cybermen have been extinct
for 1,000 years.
332
00:20:45,247 --> 00:20:48,005
Even one Anti-Cyber Gun
is a miracle.
333
00:20:48,007 --> 00:20:49,645
These things are hand-pulsars.
334
00:20:49,647 --> 00:20:51,525
Touch the back of a Cyberman's head,
335
00:20:51,527 --> 00:20:54,087
the electromagnetic pulse
deactivates it.
336
00:20:55,127 --> 00:20:58,885
What's this for? Just a mad guess
here - it blows up the planet?
337
00:20:58,887 --> 00:21:00,725
Implodes it.
There's also a trigger unit.
338
00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:04,285
I'll have that, then. Is there any
other way to activate the bomb?
339
00:21:04,287 --> 00:21:07,365
It's set to respond to MY voice.
I have the verbal code.
340
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,847
You will not activate it
without a direct order from me.
341
00:21:14,727 --> 00:21:16,685
I will follow my orders.
342
00:21:16,687 --> 00:21:19,967
Your orders come from me.
Don't they?
343
00:21:22,847 --> 00:21:25,605
You'll need to sign
for that trigger unit, ma'am.
344
00:21:25,607 --> 00:21:27,005
Thanks.
345
00:21:27,007 --> 00:21:29,127
Mind if I take one of these?
Might be handy.
346
00:21:31,447 --> 00:21:35,167
Help yourself. I'll teach you
how to use it. Upstairs. Now.
347
00:21:39,407 --> 00:21:41,167
There. That was easy.
348
00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:46,005
The game... has just started.
349
00:21:46,007 --> 00:21:47,405
Doctor...
350
00:21:47,407 --> 00:21:50,925
why is there no record of you
anywhere in the databanks
351
00:21:50,927 --> 00:21:52,527
of the Cyberiad?
352
00:21:54,327 --> 00:21:57,045
Oh. You're good.
353
00:21:57,047 --> 00:22:00,365
You've been eliminating yourself
from history.
354
00:22:00,367 --> 00:22:04,407
You know, you could be reconstructed
by the hole you've left.
355
00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:10,805
Good point.
I'll do something about that.
356
00:22:10,807 --> 00:22:13,565
The rules of chess allow
only a finite number of moves.
357
00:22:13,567 --> 00:22:16,005
And I can use other Cyber units
as remote processors.
358
00:22:16,007 --> 00:22:17,765
You cannot possibly win.
359
00:22:17,767 --> 00:22:19,765
I can. I know things you don't.
360
00:22:19,767 --> 00:22:22,165
For example, did you know...
361
00:22:22,167 --> 00:22:25,245
very early versions of the
Cyber operating system could be
362
00:22:25,247 --> 00:22:29,085
seriously scrambled by exposure to
things, like gold or cleaning fluid?
363
00:22:29,087 --> 00:22:34,365
And what's interesting is, you're
still running some of that code.
364
00:22:34,367 --> 00:22:36,165
Really?
365
00:22:36,167 --> 00:22:38,647
That's your secret weapon?
366
00:22:40,367 --> 00:22:41,807
Cleaning fluid?
367
00:22:43,687 --> 00:22:46,005
Nope. Gold.
368
00:22:46,007 --> 00:22:48,485
Ho-ho! Like a charm.
369
00:22:48,487 --> 00:22:50,045
Right, you, Cyber... Webley.
370
00:22:50,047 --> 00:22:52,525
And you, kid... things.
371
00:22:52,527 --> 00:22:55,967
I'll bring the chessboard.
Let's get out of here.
372
00:22:58,087 --> 00:23:00,087
You knew it was me.
373
00:23:02,207 --> 00:23:05,645
I was in the Imperial Guard
on Caspertine. Mostly just parades.
374
00:23:05,647 --> 00:23:08,205
But I had the honour
to guard the old Emperor
375
00:23:08,207 --> 00:23:09,525
during the ice picnic.
376
00:23:09,527 --> 00:23:12,805
When the snow bears came and danced
for us. That was a day.
377
00:23:12,807 --> 00:23:15,765
We're a punishment platoon.
We can't beat a Cyberman.
378
00:23:15,767 --> 00:23:18,165
The Imperium has to know
what's happening.
379
00:23:18,167 --> 00:23:20,165
Like you said,
the communicators are out.
380
00:23:20,167 --> 00:23:22,805
The only way you can report this now
is to activate the bomb.
381
00:23:22,807 --> 00:23:25,525
Yes. And I forbid you to do that.
382
00:23:25,527 --> 00:23:28,125
I don't get it. Why
would you blow up a whole planet,
383
00:23:28,127 --> 00:23:30,845
and everybody on it,
just to get rid of one Cyberman?
384
00:23:30,847 --> 00:23:33,725
We tried other ways.
But they only work sometimes.
385
00:23:33,727 --> 00:23:36,565
So now we take drastic action.
And it works.
386
00:23:36,567 --> 00:23:40,685
If you find a Cyberman and
you can't destroy it immediately,
387
00:23:40,687 --> 00:23:42,845
you implode the planet.
388
00:23:42,847 --> 00:23:45,365
I was sent here
because I didn't follow orders.
389
00:23:45,367 --> 00:23:47,447
I can make up for that.
390
00:23:50,327 --> 00:23:51,725
Put it down, I forbid you!
391
00:23:51,727 --> 00:23:53,725
Yeah. What she said.
392
00:23:53,727 --> 00:23:56,165
You ran away. I will do
what I was brought up to do.
393
00:23:56,167 --> 00:23:59,485
Live for the Empire, fight
for the Empire, die for the Empire.
394
00:23:59,487 --> 00:24:05,005
This is Captain Alice Ferrin,
Imperial ID 19-delta-13B.
395
00:24:05,007 --> 00:24:06,125
Activate...
396
00:24:06,127 --> 00:24:08,047
Cyberman! Get down!
397
00:24:18,447 --> 00:24:20,885
The Doctor said to get somewhere
easily defensible.
398
00:24:20,887 --> 00:24:23,445
But if we stay in the castle,
it'll pick us off one by one.
399
00:24:23,447 --> 00:24:26,647
We have to take it out.
Is that an order, ma'am?
400
00:24:30,447 --> 00:24:32,965
Yes. Good.
401
00:24:32,967 --> 00:24:34,645
You know what to do.
402
00:24:34,647 --> 00:24:36,485
Pulse to the back of the head.
403
00:24:36,487 --> 00:24:38,205
Fry the brain circuit interface.
404
00:24:38,207 --> 00:24:40,767
It's going to be hard
to get in close enough.
405
00:25:17,127 --> 00:25:20,445
I've heard about the Cybermen
since I was in my cradle.
406
00:25:20,447 --> 00:25:22,845
I'm not afraid of you!
407
00:25:22,847 --> 00:25:23,887
Now!
408
00:25:30,847 --> 00:25:33,047
Hold it right there!
What's happening to them?
409
00:25:38,007 --> 00:25:40,005
One more step, and I fire!
410
00:25:40,007 --> 00:25:41,805
Don't fire that.
411
00:25:41,807 --> 00:25:45,645
A pulse will deactivate them.
And anyway...
412
00:25:45,647 --> 00:25:47,845
it's a waste of charge.
We may need it again.
413
00:25:47,847 --> 00:25:49,887
You don't think
that was the only one, then?
414
00:25:57,167 --> 00:25:59,205
Don't shoot, don't shoot! I'm nice!
415
00:25:59,207 --> 00:26:02,365
Please, don't shoot! Hey, Clara, you
haven't let them blow up the planet.
416
00:26:02,367 --> 00:26:05,805
Good job. Did you get the kids?
Are they all right?
417
00:26:05,807 --> 00:26:08,485
What's going on? Bit of
a good news/bad news/good news again
418
00:26:08,487 --> 00:26:11,765
thing going on. So... Good news -
I've kidnapped their Cyber-Planner,
419
00:26:11,767 --> 00:26:14,245
and right now I'm sort of
in control of this Cyberman.
420
00:26:14,247 --> 00:26:17,245
Bad news? Bad news -
the Cyber-Planner's in my head.
421
00:26:17,247 --> 00:26:24,085
And DIFFERENT bad news - the kids
are... Well, it's complicated.
422
00:26:24,087 --> 00:26:25,725
Complicated how?
423
00:26:25,727 --> 00:26:28,847
Complicated, as in walking coma.
424
00:26:33,967 --> 00:26:36,125
Please tell me you can wake them up.
Hope so.
425
00:26:36,127 --> 00:26:38,365
Other good news?
Well, in other good news,
426
00:26:38,367 --> 00:26:41,885
there are a few more repaired and
reactivated Cybermen on the way.
427
00:26:41,887 --> 00:26:44,765
And the Cyber-Planner's installing
a patch for the gold thing.
428
00:26:44,767 --> 00:26:48,485
No, wait, that isn't not good news,
is it? Um, so...
429
00:26:48,487 --> 00:26:51,485
Good news - I have a very good
chance of winning my chess match.
430
00:26:51,487 --> 00:26:54,725
What? I'll explain later.
In a bit of a hurry.
431
00:26:54,727 --> 00:26:56,205
Get me to a table.
432
00:26:56,207 --> 00:26:58,245
And somebody tie me up!
433
00:26:58,247 --> 00:26:59,767
Need hands free for chess.
434
00:27:01,447 --> 00:27:03,045
And immobilise me.
435
00:27:03,047 --> 00:27:04,447
Quickly.
436
00:27:05,607 --> 00:27:08,565
Right, that's good. I won't be able
to move, but... hands free. Good.
437
00:27:08,567 --> 00:27:11,207
You're playing chess with yourself?
And winning.
438
00:27:12,527 --> 00:27:14,525
Actually,
439
00:27:14,527 --> 00:27:15,925
he has no better than a 25% chance
440
00:27:15,927 --> 00:27:17,925
of winning at this stage
in the game.
441
00:27:17,927 --> 00:27:21,525
Some very dodgy moves
at the beginning. Hello, flesh-girl.
442
00:27:21,527 --> 00:27:24,565
Fantastic! I'm the Cyber-Planner.
443
00:27:24,567 --> 00:27:27,845
Doctor...? Afraid not.
I'm working the mouth now. Allons-y!
444
00:27:27,847 --> 00:27:30,325
Oh, you should see
the state of these neurons -
445
00:27:30,327 --> 00:27:32,605
he's had some cowboys in here.
Ten complete re-jigs.
446
00:27:32,607 --> 00:27:36,685
You aren't the Doctor.
No, but I know who YOU are.
447
00:27:36,687 --> 00:27:38,567
You're the impossible girl.
448
00:27:39,607 --> 00:27:42,845
Ooh, he's very interested in you.
449
00:27:42,847 --> 00:27:44,285
Why am I impossible?
450
00:27:44,287 --> 00:27:46,405
Hasn't he told you? The sly devil.
451
00:27:46,407 --> 00:27:49,685
Oh, dear me. Soon, we wake, we'll
strip you down for spare parts,
452
00:27:49,687 --> 00:27:51,645
then build a spaceship and move on.
453
00:27:51,647 --> 00:27:54,605
More Cybermen? They're waking
from their tomb right now.
454
00:27:54,607 --> 00:27:57,005
You can either die
or live on as one of us.
455
00:27:57,007 --> 00:28:00,165
The Doctor will stop you.
He can't even access the lips.
456
00:28:00,167 --> 00:28:02,645
Owwww!
457
00:28:02,647 --> 00:28:05,245
Ow! Oh, that hurt! No, stop!
458
00:28:05,247 --> 00:28:09,165
Enough! Bit of pain, neural surge -
just what I needed. Thanks.
459
00:28:09,167 --> 00:28:10,805
Why am I the impossible girl?
460
00:28:10,807 --> 00:28:13,685
It's a thing in my head. I'll
explain later. Chess game - stakes?
461
00:28:13,687 --> 00:28:16,525
If he wins, I give up my mind and
he gets access to all my memories,
462
00:28:16,527 --> 00:28:18,125
along with knowledge of time travel.
463
00:28:18,127 --> 00:28:21,245
But if I win, he'll break
his promises to get out of my head
464
00:28:21,247 --> 00:28:23,485
and then kill us anyway.
That's not reassuring. No.
465
00:28:23,487 --> 00:28:26,005
Please tell me you can fix what
happened to the children.
466
00:28:26,007 --> 00:28:27,485
Children. Yeah. They're fine.
467
00:28:27,487 --> 00:28:29,805
Right now their brains
are just in stand-by mode.
468
00:28:29,807 --> 00:28:32,605
That is not fine! Listen, right now,
469
00:28:32,607 --> 00:28:36,925
they have a better chance of getting
out of all this alive than you do.
470
00:28:36,927 --> 00:28:38,767
Which one of you said that?
471
00:28:40,287 --> 00:28:45,405
Me. Cyber-Planner. Mr Clever.
Now, if you don't mind,
472
00:28:45,407 --> 00:28:48,325
I have a chess game to finish.
473
00:28:48,327 --> 00:28:54,287
And YOU have to die -
pointlessly and very far from home.
474
00:28:56,807 --> 00:28:57,967
Toodle-oo.
475
00:29:02,447 --> 00:29:04,645
Apparently there are more Cybermen
on the way.
476
00:29:04,647 --> 00:29:07,005
There's at least a dozen more shots
left in the gun
477
00:29:07,007 --> 00:29:08,405
before it needs to recharge.
478
00:29:08,407 --> 00:29:10,885
We might have more than a dozen
Cybermen to worry about.
479
00:29:10,887 --> 00:29:12,845
What's that cable?
Power line for the park.
480
00:29:12,847 --> 00:29:15,645
What'd happen if we dropped the
end into the moat and turned it on?
481
00:29:15,647 --> 00:29:17,485
Fry anything that entered the water.
482
00:29:17,487 --> 00:29:19,765
Can Cybermen fly? No, ma'am.
483
00:29:19,767 --> 00:29:22,007
First good news of the day. Do it.
484
00:29:38,607 --> 00:29:41,845
Stop that! I felt that.
485
00:29:41,847 --> 00:29:44,567
Of course you did.
It's time to get up.
486
00:29:46,007 --> 00:29:49,605
Wakey wakey, boys and girls.
487
00:29:49,607 --> 00:29:53,047
Wakey wakey.
488
00:30:20,367 --> 00:30:24,205
There. Get that in you. Warm you up.
Oh, thank you, Porridge.
489
00:30:24,207 --> 00:30:26,565
Oi, Clara!
490
00:30:26,567 --> 00:30:30,207
I'll see what he wants.
Call me if there's any change. Right.
491
00:30:37,647 --> 00:30:41,205
Hey! Clara, there you are.
Now, quick rundown.
492
00:30:41,207 --> 00:30:42,885
What's our weapons strength?
493
00:30:42,887 --> 00:30:45,165
One big gun,
five of those hand pulsar units
494
00:30:45,167 --> 00:30:48,325
and a shiny black bomb that implodes
the planet. Yeah. That one.
495
00:30:48,327 --> 00:30:51,405
Tell me, does it happen, possibly,
to have a remote triggery thing?
496
00:30:51,407 --> 00:30:53,045
Brilliant. Pass it here. No.
497
00:30:53,047 --> 00:30:55,005
Why not?
In case you're not you right now.
498
00:30:55,007 --> 00:30:57,685
Or even if you are you, just in case.
Oh, don't worry.
499
00:30:57,687 --> 00:31:02,645
The Cyber-Planner's hibernating
between moves right now. Sssh.
500
00:31:02,647 --> 00:31:06,647
Prove you're you. Tell me something
only the Doctor knows.
501
00:31:09,967 --> 00:31:11,487
Clara...
502
00:31:12,967 --> 00:31:15,165
I suppose...
503
00:31:15,167 --> 00:31:19,247
I'm the only one who knows
how I feel about you right now.
504
00:31:20,687 --> 00:31:23,407
How funny you are - so funny...
505
00:31:24,887 --> 00:31:27,045
and pretty.
506
00:31:27,047 --> 00:31:30,645
And the truth is,
I'm starting to like you
507
00:31:30,647 --> 00:31:32,565
in a way that is more than just...
508
00:31:32,567 --> 00:31:37,165
Ow! Ow! Ow! Yes! It's me!
509
00:31:37,167 --> 00:31:39,845
That really hurt!
How did you know that was him?!
510
00:31:39,847 --> 00:31:42,405
Because even if that WAS true -
which it's obviously not -
511
00:31:42,407 --> 00:31:44,605
I know you that
you would rather die than say it.
512
00:31:44,607 --> 00:31:46,127
Finish your stupid game!
513
00:31:47,967 --> 00:31:51,285
Doctor, let go. I can't.
He's got control of the left arm.
514
00:31:51,287 --> 00:31:55,245
Aaargh! Aaaargh! No! No!
515
00:31:55,247 --> 00:31:58,927
Aaargh! Aaargh! Aaargh!
516
00:32:01,367 --> 00:32:02,885
Doctor?
517
00:32:02,887 --> 00:32:05,605
He got what he wanted.
He destroyed the trigger.
518
00:32:05,607 --> 00:32:08,205
My move. What do you mean,
he got what he wanted?
519
00:32:08,207 --> 00:32:10,205
He means...
520
00:32:10,207 --> 00:32:13,885
good news, boys and girls!
521
00:32:13,887 --> 00:32:17,887
THEY'RE HEERE!
522
00:32:36,527 --> 00:32:37,765
One gun, five hand pulsars
523
00:32:37,767 --> 00:32:40,325
and a planet-smashing bomb
that doesn't work any more.
524
00:32:40,327 --> 00:32:42,405
Why not? Broken trigger unit.
525
00:32:42,407 --> 00:32:44,245
But you signed for that.
526
00:32:44,247 --> 00:32:48,085
I've learned so much from you,
Doctor.
527
00:32:48,087 --> 00:32:49,965
It's been an education.
528
00:32:49,967 --> 00:32:54,047
But now it's time for the endgame.
529
00:33:08,527 --> 00:33:09,687
Brilliant.
530
00:33:11,447 --> 00:33:13,967
Upgrade in progress.
531
00:33:15,247 --> 00:33:16,567
Damn.
532
00:33:18,127 --> 00:33:20,965
Who's our best shot?
Probably it's me.
533
00:33:20,967 --> 00:33:23,005
Shoot any of them
who make it across.
534
00:33:23,007 --> 00:33:25,725
The rest of you,
take defensive positions. Porridge?
535
00:33:25,727 --> 00:33:27,327
Yes? Keep yourself safe.
536
00:33:43,047 --> 00:33:44,645
Alice Ferrin...
537
00:33:44,647 --> 00:33:47,965
you should have destroyed this
planet when you had the chance.
538
00:33:47,967 --> 00:33:50,325
They're nearly here.
539
00:33:50,327 --> 00:33:55,365
Now, you can take my bishop and keep
limping on for a little longer.
540
00:33:55,367 --> 00:33:59,405
Or you can sacrifice your queen,
541
00:33:59,407 --> 00:34:01,925
and get the children back,
542
00:34:01,927 --> 00:34:03,965
but it's mate in five moves.
543
00:34:03,967 --> 00:34:06,287
And I get your mind.
544
00:34:15,727 --> 00:34:20,447
Take my queen.
And give me back the children.
545
00:34:22,007 --> 00:34:25,725
Emotions! Can't you see
what a foolish move that was?
546
00:34:25,727 --> 00:34:27,845
You've lost the game!
547
00:34:27,847 --> 00:34:30,927
Kids! Back! Now!
548
00:34:40,567 --> 00:34:44,485
Emotions, Doctor -
549
00:34:44,487 --> 00:34:49,365
all for two human children
you barely know.
550
00:34:49,367 --> 00:34:52,047
And it was a pointless sacrifice
anyway.
551
00:34:55,207 --> 00:34:57,205
So, Doctor...
552
00:34:57,207 --> 00:35:01,645
do you think the children's death
will affect your relationship
553
00:35:01,647 --> 00:35:03,367
with Miss Clara?
554
00:35:07,727 --> 00:35:10,845
Welcome to
Webley's World Of Wonders, children.
555
00:35:10,847 --> 00:35:15,285
Now presenting delights,
delicacies...
556
00:35:15,287 --> 00:35:17,687
and death. Doctor!
557
00:35:22,847 --> 00:35:26,527
Angie, are you, OK?
Just look after Artie, OK?
558
00:35:37,527 --> 00:35:39,805
Upgrade in progress.
559
00:35:39,807 --> 00:35:42,405
Your move. But before you take it,
just so you know,
560
00:35:42,407 --> 00:35:45,645
sacrificing my queen was the best
possible move I could have made.
561
00:35:45,647 --> 00:35:47,285
The Time Lords invented chess.
562
00:35:47,287 --> 00:35:48,805
It's our game.
563
00:35:48,807 --> 00:35:52,285
And if you don't avoid MY trap,
it gives ME mate in three moves.
564
00:35:52,287 --> 00:35:53,567
How?
565
00:35:55,287 --> 00:35:57,087
I've got no charge left!
566
00:36:01,767 --> 00:36:02,967
How?
567
00:36:07,007 --> 00:36:09,325
Oh, come on.
Call yourself a chess-playing robot?
568
00:36:09,327 --> 00:36:10,487
How?!
569
00:36:15,167 --> 00:36:17,247
You figure it out!
570
00:36:21,047 --> 00:36:24,925
Or don't you have
the processing power? Hmm?
571
00:36:24,927 --> 00:36:28,485
Please stand by -
you will be upgraded.
572
00:36:28,487 --> 00:36:31,365
Welcome to the Cyberiad.
573
00:36:31,367 --> 00:36:32,445
You will be upgraded.
574
00:36:32,447 --> 00:36:35,005
Welcome to the Cyberiad.
575
00:36:35,007 --> 00:36:36,525
You will be upgraded...
576
00:36:36,527 --> 00:36:39,887
You will be upgraded...
577
00:36:46,807 --> 00:36:48,005
What are you doing?
578
00:36:48,007 --> 00:36:51,325
Doctor. Doctor, Doctor, Doctor,
579
00:36:51,327 --> 00:36:53,845
Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor,
Doctor!
580
00:36:53,847 --> 00:36:55,965
I'm pulling in
extra processing power.
581
00:36:55,967 --> 00:36:59,005
Three million Cyberbrains are
working on one tiny chess problem.
582
00:36:59,007 --> 00:37:01,525
How long do you think
it's going to take us to solve it?
583
00:37:01,527 --> 00:37:06,005
That's cheating! No, no, no, no, no.
Just pulling in the local resources.
584
00:37:06,007 --> 00:37:07,647
Woo-oo-oo.
585
00:37:13,647 --> 00:37:17,645
There's no way you can get to mate
in three moves.
586
00:37:17,647 --> 00:37:20,165
Three moves!
Want to know what they are?
587
00:37:20,167 --> 00:37:21,525
You're lying!
588
00:37:21,527 --> 00:37:23,165
No!
589
00:37:23,167 --> 00:37:25,245
Move one -
590
00:37:25,247 --> 00:37:27,405
turn on sonic screwdriver.
591
00:37:27,407 --> 00:37:29,085
Move two - activate pulsar.
592
00:37:29,087 --> 00:37:31,127
Move three - amplify pulsar.
593
00:37:34,287 --> 00:37:36,687
See ya.
594
00:37:38,767 --> 00:37:40,447
That's cheating!
595
00:37:45,047 --> 00:37:47,525
Just taking advantage
of the local resources.
596
00:37:47,527 --> 00:37:50,965
Ah, hello. Can someone untie me,
please? Do you think I'm pretty?
597
00:37:50,967 --> 00:37:53,525
No! You're too short and bossy,
and your nose is all funny.
598
00:37:53,527 --> 00:37:55,805
Good enough.
What happened to the Cyber-Planner?
599
00:37:55,807 --> 00:37:58,565
Out of my head and redistributed
across three million Cybermen.
600
00:37:58,567 --> 00:38:01,365
About to wake them up, kill us
and start constructing a spaceship.
601
00:38:01,367 --> 00:38:04,245
We need to destroy this planet
before they can get off it.
602
00:38:04,247 --> 00:38:06,205
OK.
603
00:38:06,207 --> 00:38:08,125
It has a fallback voice activation.
604
00:38:08,127 --> 00:38:10,125
The Captain. But she's dead.
605
00:38:10,127 --> 00:38:12,205
I think you should ask Porridge.
Why?
606
00:38:12,207 --> 00:38:16,245
Well, he is the Emperor. I bet
HE knows the activation codes.
607
00:38:16,247 --> 00:38:18,205
Oh, come on, it's obvious.
608
00:38:18,207 --> 00:38:20,085
He looks exactly like he does
on the coin
609
00:38:20,087 --> 00:38:22,965
and on the waxwork, except
they made him a bit taller, but...
610
00:38:22,967 --> 00:38:25,765
Look, am I the only one paying
attention to ANYTHING around here?
611
00:38:25,767 --> 00:38:28,365
You are full of surprises. Porridge?
612
00:38:28,367 --> 00:38:31,045
She's right. So you can save us?
613
00:38:31,047 --> 00:38:33,205
We all die in the end.
Does it matter how?
614
00:38:33,207 --> 00:38:36,245
What do we do?
I don't want to be Emperor.
615
00:38:36,247 --> 00:38:39,205
If I activate that bomb,
it's all over.
616
00:38:39,207 --> 00:38:40,245
And if you don't,
617
00:38:40,247 --> 00:38:43,045
three million Cybermen will spread
across the galaxy.
618
00:38:43,047 --> 00:38:44,525
Isn't that worth dying for?
619
00:38:44,527 --> 00:38:46,367
Doctor... Three million Cybermen!
620
00:38:50,007 --> 00:38:53,005
The bomb, the throne,
it's all connected.
621
00:38:53,007 --> 00:38:54,165
I just have to say,
622
00:38:54,167 --> 00:38:58,085
"This is Emperor Ludens Nimrod
Kendrick, called Longstaff the 41st,
623
00:38:58,087 --> 00:39:02,327
"the defender of humanity,
imperator of known space.
624
00:39:04,687 --> 00:39:07,967
"Activate the Desolator."
And it's done.
625
00:39:15,727 --> 00:39:17,285
It'll blow in about 80 seconds.
626
00:39:17,287 --> 00:39:19,725
Easily long enough for the
Imperial Flagship to locate me
627
00:39:19,727 --> 00:39:22,925
from my identification,
warp-jump into orbit,
628
00:39:22,927 --> 00:39:24,847
and transmat us to the State Room.
629
00:39:30,887 --> 00:39:33,765
Oh, yeah! Nice ship.
630
00:39:33,767 --> 00:39:35,405
Bit big. Not blue enough.
631
00:39:35,407 --> 00:39:40,045
Listen, there is a large blue box
at co-ordinates six ultra 19P.
632
00:39:40,047 --> 00:39:43,245
I need it transmatted up here
right away.
633
00:39:43,247 --> 00:39:45,207
Right. Did you get that?
634
00:39:55,007 --> 00:40:00,847
And that's that. 76, 77, 78, 79...
635
00:40:09,367 --> 00:40:12,045
Fairwell, Cyberiad.
636
00:40:12,047 --> 00:40:15,365
You know... it was GOOD to get away.
637
00:40:15,367 --> 00:40:17,925
Good to be a person
and not to be lonely
638
00:40:17,927 --> 00:40:20,005
or Emperor of 1,000 galaxies,
639
00:40:20,007 --> 00:40:22,325
with everybody waiting for ME
to tell them what to do.
640
00:40:22,327 --> 00:40:23,885
Can't you run away again?
641
00:40:23,887 --> 00:40:25,925
They'll be keeping a close eye on me
this time.
642
00:40:25,927 --> 00:40:27,885
That's what happens
when you're Emperor -
643
00:40:27,887 --> 00:40:29,805
loneliest job in the Universe.
644
00:40:29,807 --> 00:40:31,487
You don't have to be lonely.
645
00:40:33,527 --> 00:40:36,045
I don't.
646
00:40:36,047 --> 00:40:37,565
Clara...
647
00:40:37,567 --> 00:40:39,047
will you marry me?
648
00:40:40,047 --> 00:40:41,565
What? He said...
649
00:40:41,567 --> 00:40:42,925
She heard what he said.
650
00:40:42,927 --> 00:40:45,525
You're smart and you're beautiful,
651
00:40:45,527 --> 00:40:48,285
and I've never met anyone like you
before.
652
00:40:48,287 --> 00:40:51,085
And being Emperor won't be as hard
if you're by my side.
653
00:40:51,087 --> 00:40:52,925
And you'd rule 1,000 galaxies.
654
00:40:52,927 --> 00:40:56,085
This sounds like an actual
marriage proposal - tricky.
655
00:40:56,087 --> 00:40:57,325
Now, if you want my advice...
656
00:40:57,327 --> 00:41:00,767
You - not one word. This is
between me and the... Emperor.
657
00:41:03,047 --> 00:41:04,765
Porridge,
658
00:41:04,767 --> 00:41:08,607
I...don't want to rule
1,000 galaxies.
659
00:41:12,367 --> 00:41:13,407
Yeah.
660
00:41:14,567 --> 00:41:16,325
Silly of me.
661
00:41:16,327 --> 00:41:18,005
I'm really sorry.
662
00:41:18,007 --> 00:41:22,045
But that's stupid.
You could be queen of the universe.
663
00:41:22,047 --> 00:41:24,325
How can you say no to that?
664
00:41:24,327 --> 00:41:26,925
When someone asks you if you want
to be queen of the universe,
665
00:41:26,927 --> 00:41:28,125
you say, "Yes."
666
00:41:28,127 --> 00:41:31,047
You watch. One day,
I'LL be queen of the universe.
667
00:41:33,087 --> 00:41:35,365
Of course,
I could have you all executed -
668
00:41:35,367 --> 00:41:37,647
which is what a proper Emperor
would do.
669
00:41:38,807 --> 00:41:41,325
You're not actually going to do
that, though, are you...?
670
00:41:41,327 --> 00:41:43,765
Oh, you're...! Hey?
671
00:41:43,767 --> 00:41:45,805
Go on, get out of here, all of you,
672
00:41:45,807 --> 00:41:47,287
before I change my mind.
673
00:42:01,767 --> 00:42:04,205
Thank you for having me.
It was very interesting.
674
00:42:04,207 --> 00:42:06,005
My pleasure. Thank you for coming.
675
00:42:06,007 --> 00:42:07,805
Now, I've got something for you.
676
00:42:07,807 --> 00:42:10,007
It's not from me,
it's from the TARDIS.
677
00:42:11,847 --> 00:42:14,245
Ah! New phone.
678
00:42:14,247 --> 00:42:17,407
Thanks!
Sorry I said this box was stupid.
679
00:42:19,007 --> 00:42:23,607
Bye! Bye! Thanks, Clara.
Thanks, Clara's boyfriend.
680
00:42:25,847 --> 00:42:27,485
Thank you, Doctor. For what?
681
00:42:27,487 --> 00:42:29,605
Kids' day out,
getting us off the planet alive,
682
00:42:29,607 --> 00:42:31,727
whatever you were doing
with the Cybermen...
683
00:42:34,567 --> 00:42:35,887
Good night.
684
00:42:37,487 --> 00:42:38,965
See you next Wednesday.
685
00:42:38,967 --> 00:42:43,405
Well... a Wednesday, definitely.
Next Wednesday, last Wednesday...
686
00:42:43,407 --> 00:42:44,847
one of the Wednesdays.
687
00:42:47,887 --> 00:42:50,005
Impossible girl.
688
00:42:50,007 --> 00:42:52,805
A mystery wrapped in an enigma
squeezed into a skirt
689
00:42:52,807 --> 00:42:55,647
that's just
a little bit too... tight.
690
00:43:02,167 --> 00:43:03,687
What are you?
691
00:43:05,647 --> 00:43:07,965
Signs of any Cybertech remaining?
692
00:43:07,967 --> 00:43:09,845
No, Majesty.
693
00:43:09,847 --> 00:43:12,125
You ever wanted to be Emperor,
Gloria?
694
00:43:12,127 --> 00:43:13,445
No, Majesty.
695
00:43:13,447 --> 00:43:16,607
That's the right answer. Come on.
Let's go home.
696
00:43:34,447 --> 00:43:37,565
There is one place
you must never go.
697
00:43:37,567 --> 00:43:39,085
Where?
698
00:43:39,087 --> 00:43:41,845
This is
the Doctor's greatest secret.
699
00:43:41,847 --> 00:43:43,485
And it is discovered.
700
00:43:43,487 --> 00:43:45,725
He can't go there, you know
he can't. I have a duty.
701
00:43:45,727 --> 00:43:47,965
You just said it's the one place
you must never go.
702
00:43:47,967 --> 00:43:51,127
I'm about to cross my own timeline
and the TARDIS doesn't like it.
703
00:43:54,727 --> 00:43:56,325
Die, reptile!
704
00:43:56,327 --> 00:43:58,205
Doctor! Doctor!
705
00:43:58,207 --> 00:43:59,885
What is your name?
706
00:43:59,887 --> 00:44:01,885
Please, stop it!
707
00:44:01,887 --> 00:44:03,407
Doctor Who?!
708
00:44:03,432 --> 00:44:05,419
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.