1 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:23,480 SHOP BELL RINGS 2 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:28,040 Ah! Guten Tag, guten Tag! Kommen into the warm. 3 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,200 It is ge-raining, is it not? 4 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,160 All of the water all splishy-splashy. 5 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:38,600 Now, what can I helpen Sie mit? Behold, we have everything, 6 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:42,640 everything you could be ge-wanten. We have dolls. 7 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,800 Such beautiful pink-faced dollen, ja? 8 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,160 We have the compendium of games, 9 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:52,040 mit the dice und the snaken und ladders, 10 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,320 und the rules, they are very, very importanten, 11 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,720 these rules, don't you think? 12 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,840 Also, we have the teddy bears 13 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,360 und the hobbyhorsen - who does not want a hobbyhorsen 14 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:05,280 to go clippity-clop down the Strasse, ja? No. 15 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,840 I just want this, really. 16 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,400 Ah! Stooky Bill! 17 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,240 Meine favouriten. 18 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,440 But you will leave the family all alone. 19 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:20,000 Poor Stooky Sue and the poor Stooky Babbies. 20 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,280 You would leave them without Papa? The widow und the orphans 21 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:28,280 will be ge-crying. Er... No, just... Just him. Thank you. 22 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:33,320 Is that real hair? Ja. Ja. 23 00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:35,440 I was ge-sticking on the hair mein self. 24 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,880 I cut it off the head of a beautiful lady. 25 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:43,640 She will not miss it. But then... 26 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:47,160 ..she will never miss anything ever again. 27 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,160 Ha-ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha! 28 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,880 And... And how much is that? 29 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,280 Sixpence. 30 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:59,600 I really must apologise for the rain. 31 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:03,120 You must be used to sunnier climes. 32 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,600 TILL DINGS 33 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,280 I was born in Cheltenham. 34 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,160 Your accent seems to have slipped. 35 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,880 (GERMAN ACCENT) I hope the kiddies enjoy him. 36 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,680 CLOCK CUCKOOS 37 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:23,160 It's not for children. It's for my employer. You may have heard of him. 38 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:25,120 He only lives around the corner. 39 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:30,520 Mr John Logie Baird. Oh! The inventor man. Wunderbar. 40 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:33,480 What is he being inventing now? 41 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,400 Well, it's complicated. 42 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,160 It's a new thing... 43 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:39,600 ..called television. 44 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:47,240 Well, what a game we are playing. What a wonderful, wonderful game. 45 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:48,680 SHOP BELL RINGS 46 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,600 # Ha-ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha... # 47 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,120 Poor wee Stooky. That's a Scottish word. 48 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,120 Do you know what stooky means? 49 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,000 It comes from stucco, as in plaster, 50 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,640 but it's come to mean stupid and slow. 51 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,280 Like Billy Boy's an idiot. But he can't be that daft. 52 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,000 He's about to make history. 53 00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:11,880 Ready now? I think so. May God go with us. 54 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:31,440 I did it, Charlie! I did it! The very first television picture. 55 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,640 How hot is it in there? Not going to catch fire, are we? 56 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,280 That's why we need Stooky Bill. 57 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,840 No man could sit underneath that temperature. 58 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,280 Problem is, it could be a photograph. 59 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:44,480 If I'm to prove television works, I'll need a moving image. 60 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:48,680 BAIRD GASPS 61 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,160 BOTH LAUGH 62 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,000 I got quite the shock! 63 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,560 Me too! 64 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:57,800 Imagine if he could talk. 65 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,640 FAINT LAUGHTER 66 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,720 That wee chap's about to change the world. 67 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,920 Imagine what he would say. 68 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:07,760 Ha-ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha! 69 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,280 HORN BEEPS 70 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,600 AGITATED CHATTER 71 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,360 HORN BLARES CONTINUOUSLY 72 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:08,480 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Excuse me. Can you tell me, what are you doing? 73 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:09,680 I can't drive. 74 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,840 OK, so... Which means...? 75 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:17,600 I pay my taxes, which means I've paid for this road. 76 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,360 It is mine, and I will do with it what I like. 77 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,960 You'll get yourself killed! It's my life, not yours. 78 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,920 You could...just stand over there and be safe. 79 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,240 Blame them! 80 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,240 HORN BEEPS 81 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,880 Because it all changed two days ago. 82 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,000 Everyone started thinking they're right, 83 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,880 all the time, and they won't change their mind. 84 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:39,360 If you try to argue, they go mad. 85 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:42,400 Well, not me. I've always been right. 86 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,040 HORN BLARES 87 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,280 Excusez-moi, monsieur. Je suis terrible. 88 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:53,000 But perhaps you will dance avec moi. Ooh-la-la! 89 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,760 Er, sorry. Thanks. 90 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:00,280 OVER MEGAPHONE: Attention, the Doctor! 91 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,240 Attention, the Doctor! Stay where you are. 92 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:05,960 You are under UNIT control. Repeat, UNIT control. 93 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,440 SOLDIER: Go, go, go! 94 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:11,400 SHOUTED ORDERS 95 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:11,400 Quick, Doctor! 96 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,920 Doctor? I'm Colonel Ibrahim of UNIT Squad 5. 97 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,440 If you could come with us. Get him to safety. 98 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,640 All right? Never mind about us. I want my grandad safe. 99 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,920 All right, you got that? Yes, ma'am. We'll keep your family safe. 100 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,520 WILF: You go with the Doctor. 101 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,280 Oh, here comes trouble. 102 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:03,000 I could say the same about you. Shirley, you can't be serious. 103 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,000 And Kate Lethbridge-Stewart! 104 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,680 I remember your father working night and day to keep UNIT secret, 105 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,560 and look at you now, out and proud and defending the Earth. 106 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:19,280 I fought them all. Robots and insects and Yetis and clones. 107 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:23,040 But what do we do this time, Doctor? How do we fight the human race? 108 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,360 That's for you. Good, good, good. Now, what have we got? 109 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:38,240 Are these worldwide? Because I'm going to need all the statistics... 110 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:44,320 Oh, no way. Oh, that is the best news! Melanie, hello! 111 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:50,400 We'll catch up later. We haven't got time. I used to be like you. 112 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,840 I was one of his companions. 113 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:55,320 I wasn't the first redhead? No, that was me. 114 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:58,120 Although don't say companion. That sounds like we park him 115 00:07:58,120 --> 00:07:59,960 on the seafront at Weston-super-Mare. 116 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,680 Is "park" rude? Borderline. 117 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,680 DONNA INHALES SHARPLY 118 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:08,280 And stations. Gold protocols, the Doctor's in the room - report. 119 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,080 Two days ago, an increase in violence worldwide - 120 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,440 the same increase in every country, 121 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:16,280 and all rising at exactly the same rate. 122 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,240 Basically, every single human being 123 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,320 thinks they're right and won't be told otherwise. 124 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:22,680 That plane crash, the F665 Boston to Heathrow. 125 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,000 The pilot declared his right to land wherever he wants. 126 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,040 I'm coming home! 127 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:31,400 Look out, London! Daddy's coming home! Ha-ha! 128 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,400 But if everyone's going mad... 129 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,680 So is the Government. 130 00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:40,560 HE LAUGHS What do I care? I mean, seriously. 131 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:43,720 Why should I care about you? 132 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:47,200 No change there, then. But you're fine. You're completely normal. 133 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,280 And that's because of the...? 134 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:54,160 We call it the Zeedex. An invention of the Vlinx. 135 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:58,160 Hello, the Vlinx. I'm the Doctor. So why is it called a Zeedex? 136 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:01,920 Good name. It disrupts the brain, flattens the spike, 137 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:05,320 keeps everything calm. And the spike is...? 138 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,280 I think I need to show you. 139 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:12,280 Activate brain scan. 140 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:14,840 Activating, ma'am. 141 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,520 That's my brain activity. Seems normal, albeit slightly heightened, 142 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:23,160 given the end of the world. Now, keep your eye on the scan. 143 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,800 And deactivate my Zeedex. 144 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:29,760 Kate Lethbridge-Stewart. 145 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:30,960 Off. 146 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,960 Well? 147 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,120 Um...hello? 148 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:54,320 Hello. How are you? Fine. Busy day? 149 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,840 Why do you want to know? 150 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:02,240 I'm just asking. Is that a problem? It's an invasion of my privacy. 151 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,800 In fact, it's an assault on my civic rights. And I think 152 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:08,160 it's highly relevant that the person demanding information from me 153 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:12,280 is an alien. OK. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 154 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,200 I think you'll find that I'M in charge here. 155 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,800 And we've been infiltrated by an alien, by a man with two hearts, 156 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,640 a man who changes his face and cannot be trusted. 157 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,360 And you, and her, both with red hair. 158 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:27,120 What is this? Some sort of conspiracy? What are you hiding? 159 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:30,200 And as for her in that chair, I've seen you walk. 160 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,760 I've seen you walking. Don't deny it! 161 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:36,160 No! You can't stop me! It's about time you heard the truth. 162 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:37,680 Activate Zeedex. 163 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:38,880 BEEP 164 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,960 I'm sorry. No, it's OK. 165 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,960 Shirley! 166 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:58,040 I'm so sorry. Absolutely no need. 167 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,160 It's... It's not just me. 168 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,280 It keeps spiking inside every single person's head. 169 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:10,160 But what's that mean? It's being beamed in from outside? 170 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:15,080 No, it is natural. It is generated inside the brain. 171 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:19,040 But not me. Not Grandad. Nor me. 172 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:21,520 I'm wearing a Zeedex just in case, but I've been fine. 173 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,640 Well, no more opinionated than usual. You and me both. 174 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,360 Maybe long-term travel in the TARDIS puts you out of sync. 175 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,880 Can't you give everyone a Zeedex? 176 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,440 Imagine trying that. 177 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,720 They are using this to control us 178 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,680 and monitor us 179 00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,520 and microwave our brains. 180 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,600 I am anti-Zeedex! 181 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:46,480 Can we filter this wavelength, lose the background noise? Mm-hm. 182 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,400 Gives us a strong coherent wave in the Seizure Focus, 183 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:52,800 peaking seven times. So, this started two days ago. 184 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,720 But why then? What else happened on that day? 185 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:59,480 Exactly. We've been looking for a trigger. And there's this, 186 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,640 the KOSAT 5 satellite launched by South Korea, 187 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:06,680 activated two days ago. And here it is right now, 36,000km above us. 188 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:10,720 KOSAT is the final link in the chain. The world is now 100% online. 189 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,200 From the highest mountain to the deepest valley on Earth, 190 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,800 everyone is connected. But KOSAT is clean. 191 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,280 We've checked and double-checked. 192 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:19,000 It's not like the old Archangel Network. 193 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,160 There's nothing hiding in that signal. And yet... 194 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,640 ..for the first time in history, everyone has access to this. 195 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,200 A screen. What if it's a tune? 196 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,960 What? I know we've only got minutes to live, but give me a second, 197 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,880 because I spent six months teaching my daughter how to play the recorder 198 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,360 till she said, "This is not who I am." 199 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:41,160 And that was the start of a whole other conversation, believe you me. 200 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,840 But if... 201 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:48,440 ..you look at these seven peaks... like this... 202 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,000 Maybe it's music. 203 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:55,240 A classic arpeggio. Middle C an octave higher. 204 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,160 # La-la-la la-la la-la. # 205 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,600 Oh. 206 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,240 What? What is it? Sing that again. 207 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,240 # La-la-la la-la la-la. # 208 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:11,320 I know that tune. I know that from somewhere. What are the notes? 209 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:15,200 C-E-G-C-G-E-C. It's a musical palindrome. 210 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:19,400 But it's just a straightforward arpeggio. Everyone knows arpeggios. 211 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:23,200 It's a basic tune. So the question is... 212 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,560 ..why are we all reacting to this one? I'm not. The Vlinx? 213 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:31,320 Negative. Just the humans. It's just...it's so familiar. 214 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:34,240 It's like it's been buried in my head for years. Oh, what is it? 215 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:35,880 # Ha-ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha... # 216 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,760 SHIRLEY: I've found the exact same notes. 217 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,080 # Ha-ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha... # 218 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,760 Oh, it's not a tune. 219 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:45,800 # Ha-ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha... # It's a laugh. It's a puppet. 220 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:49,040 The giggle in everyone's head. # Ha-ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha... # 221 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,280 DONNA: What is that thing? 222 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,200 SHIRLEY: Stooky Bill. The first face to ever appear on television, 223 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,200 put there by John Logie Baird himself. 224 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:58,120 But I've never seen him before, so how do I know that laugh? 225 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:03,200 If the very first image has been hiding in every screen ever since... 226 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,760 ..sneaking into your head, carving a wave... 227 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,080 ..and waiting... SHIRLEY: But hiding how? 228 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,920 If there were secret pictures inside every television, we would have 229 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,960 found it. What, because you're so clever? 230 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,120 Maybe Stooky Bill's a lot smarter than you. 231 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:24,680 Imagine...if he burnt himself into television itself 232 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:27,920 and every picture ever since, every single one... 233 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,120 # Ha-ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha... # 234 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:33,280 ..screen...after screen... 235 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,280 ..after screen. 236 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:39,920 And every type of screen, every one and everywhere, 237 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:44,600 he's inside 'em all. Two days ago, he finally connected worldwide, 238 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,920 branding his giggle into your brains 239 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,400 until he had enough screens to be complete. 240 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,880 OVERLAPPING LAUGHTER 241 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,640 Since the very first existence of television, 242 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,520 laughing at the human race... 243 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,600 ..and driving you mad. 244 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,720 # Ha-ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha! # 245 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:09,520 But something on that scale over so many years, who could do that? 246 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:12,880 The puppet's just a puppet. We're looking for the puppeteer. 247 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:18,280 And I've got a memory. I think something's coming back... 248 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,800 ..after a very long time. 249 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,880 But it's not only the giggle. Don't go thinking you've got an excuse. 250 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,480 The human race might be clever and bright and brilliant, 251 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,880 it's also savage and venal and relentless. 252 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,560 All the anger out there on the street, the lies, 253 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,360 the righteousness - that's human, that's you. That's who you are. 254 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:46,640 Using your intelligence to be stupid. Poisoning the world. 255 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:49,720 And hating each other? You've never needed any help with that. 256 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,320 But today... 257 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,240 ..something else is using your worst attributes... 258 00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,440 ..playing with you... 259 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,400 ..like toys. 260 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,360 Can we take that satellite down? All missiles are on lockdown, 261 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,160 but we've got the Galvanic Beam. What range? We can pick off 262 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:13,280 a pebble on the moon. Trouble is, taking out a South Korean satellite 263 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:15,160 will have international consequences, 264 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,280 so we've been waiting for permission. 265 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:20,240 All world leaders are being affected by the giggle. 266 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,840 You have my permission. 267 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,600 Thank you, Doctor. 268 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:31,040 Gold protocol override. All staff initiate Galvanic activation. 269 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,360 Bring up the beam. 270 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:37,240 Platform in motion. Shirley, have we got the exact date 271 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,280 that Logie Baird made that transmission? I'll find it. 272 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,200 TANNOY: All clear on the helipad. 273 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,280 I fed the KOSAT fake coordinates so it's coming into UK orbit. 274 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:49,040 Within range in three minutes. You're brilliant. 275 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:55,040 Hello. Hi. Platform loading. 276 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:58,360 You look so well. But how? 277 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,320 Well, quick version - 278 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,840 I travelled the stars with good old Sabalom Glitz. 279 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,640 He lived till he was 101. Whoa. 280 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,920 Died falling over a whisky bottle. It was a perfect way to go! 281 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,360 He had this great big Viking funeral, and then I thought... 282 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:17,240 "..Time to go home." So I got a lift off a zingo and came back to Earth. 283 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,800 What's a zingo? It's a thing you get a lift off. 284 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:24,000 But then I had to face up to the one thing I'd been running away from. 285 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,560 I've got nothing. 286 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,760 My family are all gone. Remember? 287 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:36,160 But then Kate offered me a job, and...here I am. 288 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:42,840 Galvanic Beam payload, boarding. Platform locking at Level 55. 289 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,520 That was very good work with the music. 290 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:51,320 Oh... If we survive this, you should think about joining UNIT. 291 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,680 How much per year? 60,000. 292 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:56,760 120 plus five weeks' holiday. 293 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,320 Done. 294 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:05,240 Galvanic Beam in position. KOSAT in range in 90 seconds. 295 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:10,040 Doctor? Stooky Bill was televised the 2nd of October 1925 296 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:14,400 at 22 Frith Street, Soho, W1D 4RF. 297 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,000 Fire when ready, don't wait for me. TARDIS? 298 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,080 Suite 17. 299 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,840 OK. DONNA: You're not going without me! 300 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,880 METALLIC THRUMMING 301 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,720 METALLIC THRUMMING 302 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,520 Soho, 1925. 303 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,760 So, what about Mel? 304 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:54,080 Ha-ha! She's brilliant, isn't she? 305 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,840 Yeah, but I just keep thinking - all this time, 306 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:01,520 you've never mentioned her. Donna, I'm a billion years old. 307 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,560 If I stood and talked about everyone I'd ever met, 308 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,800 we'd still be in the TARDIS, yapping. So you talk 309 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,200 about no-one, ever? 310 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:13,560 You just keep charging on. Yes, because I'm busy right now. 311 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,320 But you are busy every second of every day. 312 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:18,640 I mean, look at us now. We haven't stopped. 313 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:24,880 I saw you, Doctor. I got a glimpse inside your mind, 314 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:29,280 and it's like you're staggering. You are staggering along. 315 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:35,080 Maybe that's why your old face came back. You're wearing yourself out. 316 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:42,440 Stooky Bill might be on Frith Street, but the question is, 317 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,480 where did Stooky Bill come from? 318 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,120 Oh! 319 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:10,400 The ball is the first game ever being invented. 320 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:16,720 Stone Age man, he picked up a rock. He said, "Oh, das ist ein ball!" 321 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:21,120 He throwed it, und he killed a man. He said, "Oh, what fun." 322 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:24,600 Und now everybody loves the balls! 323 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,840 Until the year five billion, 324 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:30,920 when the very last human picks up the skull of his enemy 325 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:36,240 und says, "That is the final ball of all." Ja? 326 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,000 Enough! 327 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,720 Ah! 328 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:44,320 Donna Noble. I wondered which one of you had ze balls. 329 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,920 OK, so you know my name. 330 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,720 How do you two know each other? Donna, go back to the TARDIS. 331 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,480 What? Go back to the TARDIS. 332 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:00,920 You never tell me to do that. Oh, but he is recognising me. 333 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:05,440 Are you not ge-pleased, Herr Doctor, 334 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:10,280 to see me again after so many years? 335 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,080 Who is he? 336 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,240 The Toymaker. 337 00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:26,160 (GERMAN ACCENT STOPS) We meet again, Doctor. 338 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,680 (GERMAN ACCENT) But think! If the ball was the very first game, 339 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,600 what was the second? 340 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,640 Hide-and-seek! 341 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,240 Ha-ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha! 342 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,920 No, no, no, no, no, no! Go back. 343 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:53,400 It's bigger than the shop. Don't tell me he's got his own TARDIS. 344 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:58,120 The TARDIS is an idea the Toymaker would throw away. 345 00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:02,040 We've stepped inside his domain, and it's governed by the rules of play. 346 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,560 DOOR SLAMS 347 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,080 OK. Keep going forward. 348 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,640 But how does this even make sense? 349 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:15,840 Because I've seen some things with you. I've seen Ood, Davros... 350 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:20,080 I mean, the Adipose, for God's sake! But they had a sort of logic. 351 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:27,160 Daleks built a great big bomb, I understood that. But this... 352 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,280 This is impossible. How does it exist? 353 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:35,000 That's what unravels me - all the laws I cling to, gone. 354 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,400 Who is the Toymaker? 355 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:44,920 What is he? 356 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,480 When I was young... 357 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,440 ..I was so sure of myself I made a terrible mistake. 358 00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,760 I let the TARDIS fall into another realm, 359 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:01,040 a hollow beneath the Under-Universe, 360 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,000 where science is a game and all of us are toys. 361 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,120 But you escaped! I beat the Toymaker, I won his game, 362 00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:11,400 but now he's here. He's found his way into reality. 363 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,960 And I think it's all because of me. 364 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,960 Because I got clever, didn't I? 365 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,680 I cast that salt at the edge of the universe. 366 00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:32,080 I played a game and let him in... 367 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,880 ..an elemental force with the power of a god, and he's driven 368 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,560 the human race mad with a puppet. Yeah, but you always said... 369 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,440 Oh, what do I say? What do I say? What do I say?! 370 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,960 Because I'm always so certain. 371 00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:50,200 I'm all sonic and TARDIS and Time Lord. Take that away... 372 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:54,600 Take away the toys... 373 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,560 ..what am I? What am I now? 374 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:06,760 I don't know... 375 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,600 ..if I can save your life this time. 376 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:16,200 It's not about me. Oh, yes, it is. 377 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,040 Well... 378 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,320 ..maybe I'll save you. 379 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,920 You...big idiot. 380 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,120 Anyway, you beat him before. That's the problem. 381 00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:39,680 Odds on I'll lose next time. 382 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,040 No. Doesn't work like that. 383 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,840 Because my dad used to say, 384 00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,520 "Dice don't know what the dice did last time. 385 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,120 "Games don't have a memory. 386 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,480 "Every game starts from scratch." 387 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,760 Oh, I like that. Well said, Dad. 388 00:24:57,360 --> 00:25:00,560 OK. Shall we... 389 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,800 ..find the right door? 390 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:13,000 Donna? Doctor! 391 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,400 Donna, don't move. 392 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,600 Can you hear me? Are you there? 393 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:20,800 Doctor! 394 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:26,160 Just stay there. I'll try another door. I'll try another door. 395 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:27,200 Don't move. 396 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:30,920 MAN: Help me. Please help me! 397 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,800 I'm here. I've got you. What is this? What happened? 398 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,200 I bought a toy. 399 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,600 And I paid the price. 400 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:50,040 It's OK. Just let me...lift you off, and I'll take the weight, OK? 401 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:51,880 Ready? Hup! 402 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:59,400 I came back to the shop... because I couldn't... 403 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:01,440 ..I couldn't stop hearing him. 404 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:06,000 The giggle. The giggle in my head. 405 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:09,840 What are these? 406 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:19,680 I asked him to stop... 407 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,080 ..the giggle. And he said... 408 00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:29,600 "..I will stop if you play my game." 409 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,160 But I lost. 410 00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:37,960 Now I dance. Whenever he commands, I dance and I prance, 411 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,000 but I can never go home again. No. 412 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,200 What would Mummy say if she saw me like this? 413 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,400 Please, help me. 414 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,160 THUNDER CRASHES 415 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:55,600 Do you like my puppets, Doctor? Do you like my fun? 416 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,400 All of them have played and lost, 417 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,400 but here's my favourite one. 418 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,160 # I thought I was clever 419 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,480 # I thought I was clever.... # 420 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:11,560 SOBBING 421 00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:19,280 Hello? Who's that? Where are you? 422 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,320 DOOR SLAMS 423 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:23,040 SOBBING CONTINUES 424 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:27,280 My name's Donna, and I warn you now, if this is a trick, 425 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,760 I will kill you. 426 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,760 SOBBING STOPS 427 00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:43,160 I'm poor wee Stooky Sue. I don't know what to do. 428 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:47,720 I lost my precious hubby. They threw me in the cubby. 429 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,520 You're not real. They took my Bill away. 430 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,080 I mourn him every day. 431 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,480 He won't come home to me. 432 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,280 Cos they burnt him on TV. 433 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:00,560 You're just... 434 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:02,960 ..a doll. 435 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:07,200 Now the Stooky Babbies weep. The Stooky Babbies cannae sleep. 436 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:14,440 They miss their dear papa. They seek him near and far. 437 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:19,520 They miss their kiss goodnight. They greet in endless night. 438 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:21,400 Mama! 439 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,800 Stooky Babbies are so sweet. 440 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,440 Stooky Babbies want to eat. 441 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,040 BABBIES SQUEAL 442 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,040 You've seen the widow cry. 443 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:35,800 And now it's time to die. 444 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,280 Hello, Sooky. My name's Donna. 445 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,400 Now I think that you're a goner. 446 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:49,520 Anything to add... 447 00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:51,080 BABBIES WHIMPER 448 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:52,720 ..Babbies? 449 00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:01,760 Oh, my God. There you are! 450 00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,720 Kommen Sie, kommen Sie! 451 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:12,600 DONNA GASPS 452 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,880 The show is just beginning. 453 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,560 Worldwide premiere. 454 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:26,120 Donna Noble, this is for you. Let me tell you what happened. 455 00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:33,160 When the Doctor, he was leaving you, he met eine friend called Amy Pond. 456 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:38,600 Und he loved Amy Pond. Yes, he be liking the redheads. 457 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:44,240 Und they went to and fro in time und space, but... 458 00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:49,160 ..Amy Pond was touched by der Weeping Angel, 459 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,000 und she died! 460 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,880 SNIP 461 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:54,720 She died of old age. 462 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,840 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Well, that's all right, then! 463 00:29:56,840 --> 00:30:00,840 Und then he was meeting Clara. 464 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:06,640 Ooh! But she was killed by a bird. SNIP 465 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:08,920 She still survives in her last second of life. 466 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,240 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Well, that's all right, then. 467 00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:14,640 But then the Doctor met Bill. 468 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,720 Not Stooky Bill, but lady Bill. 469 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:21,760 But she was killed by the Cybermen. 470 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,680 SNIP 471 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:25,600 But her consciousness survives. 472 00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,120 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Oh, well, that's all right, then! 473 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:31,800 Und then there came the Flux. 474 00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:37,320 Oh, Donna Noble, the poor Doctor. SNIP 475 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:39,160 The Flux... 476 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:39,160 SNIP 477 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,480 ..was killing everything. 478 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,480 SNIP! SNIP! SNIP! 479 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:44,560 Is all of this true? 480 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,640 I challenge you to a game. 481 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,200 (ENGLISH ACCENT) I accept the challenge. 482 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:07,360 You have no choice. I came to this universe with such delight. 483 00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:10,480 And I played them all, Doctor. 484 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:16,600 I toyed with supernovas, turned galaxies into spin tops. 485 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:20,720 I gambled with God and made him a jack-in-the-box. 486 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:24,080 I made a jigsaw out of your history. Did you like it? 487 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:28,480 The Master was dying and begged for his life 488 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:31,160 with one final game, and when he lost, 489 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:34,080 I sealed him for all eternity inside my gold tooth. 490 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,400 There's only one player I didn't dare face. 491 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,000 The One Who Waits. 492 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:44,680 Who's that? I saw it hiding, 493 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,520 and I ran. What do you mean? 494 00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:51,160 Hmm. That's someone else's game. 495 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:58,080 What shall we play? One request. Tell me. 496 00:31:58,080 --> 00:31:59,880 The human race back in the future - 497 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:03,800 why does everyone think they're right? So that they win. 498 00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:08,520 I made every opinion supreme. That's the game of the 21st century. 499 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:13,200 They shout and they type and they cancel. So I fixed it. 500 00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,040 Now everybody wins. 501 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:19,120 And everyone loses. The never-ending game. 502 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,520 Now name your challenge. 503 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,920 The simplest game of all. Let's cut. 504 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,520 Highest card wins. Aces high. You choose. 505 00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:31,360 I'll go first. But he'll cheat. 506 00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:34,480 No. No! Shame. That's the one thing he won't do. 507 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:38,080 But they're his cards. It's all tricks. Of course he'll cheat! 508 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,400 The only rules the Toymaker follows are the rules of the game. 509 00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:43,640 They bind his entire existence. 510 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:47,600 I win or I lose, and that's it. 511 00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:49,280 Then play. 512 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:03,800 My turn. 513 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:14,840 I'm the king. Und now, meine kleine Doctor, 514 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:18,040 we will see what is my prize. 515 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:19,560 One... 516 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:20,640 ..all. 517 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:24,640 I won the game many years ago, 518 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,640 you've won today, which leaves us equal. 519 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:32,520 And you know two players are bound by one inviolable rule. 520 00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:35,840 Best of three. Best of three. 521 00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:41,400 Then let's make it 2023. 522 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,680 Donna! I'm already running! 523 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,200 He said 2023. 524 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:11,600 Winner takes all. 525 00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:16,320 SHOUTED ORDERS 526 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:25,640 We're one degree and 27 minutes out. 527 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:29,600 Give it a base-drive reset. Galvanic Beam reset and reload. 528 00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,200 Galvanic Beam resetting from base. 529 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:40,960 Accuracy 100%. Systems locked and loaded. Satellite within range. 530 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:44,320 And fire. Yes, ma'am. 531 00:34:45,720 --> 00:34:47,720 BEAM POWERS UP 532 00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:58,920 We did it! Success! 533 00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:01,960 Keep an eye on that. 534 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,920 The satellite was only a link in the chain, so Donna needs access 535 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,560 to the sub-frame. There is no-one in London faster on a keyboard. 536 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,120 She's creating a template for this. 537 00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:15,080 It coordinates all telescopes and satellites and deep-space scans 538 00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:18,400 across the Earth. The Vlinx, I need all mesh reflectors on Earth 539 00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:22,920 translated into Digital 5. Mesh reflector link. 540 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:26,360 Mel, is this static or dynamic? Dynamic. We're using Triad. 541 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:32,160 Gotcha. OK, so you should all be receiving this... 542 00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:35,480 ..now. 543 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,480 How bad is it, Doctor? 544 00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:41,400 Something entered this world in 1925. I don't know how. 545 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:44,120 And I warn you, this thing can get from 1925 to now 546 00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,520 like stepping through a door. 547 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:49,120 But if we're lucky, the program I'm giving you can detect 548 00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:51,400 the decay of an energy signature from 98 years ago. 549 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,720 It might be on Earth, might be in orbit, might be in space. 550 00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:56,960 But if we can find the entrance, maybe we can turn it into an exit. 551 00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:59,080 What are we fighting? 552 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:03,640 An elemental force... beyond the rules of the universe. 553 00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:05,600 What's that supposed to mean? 554 00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:10,760 You think life is a balance between order and chaos. 555 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,120 But the universe is not binary. Far from it. 556 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:14,960 There is order and chaos... 557 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:14,960 FAINT POP MUSIC 558 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,440 ..and there is play. What's that? 559 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:19,520 MUSIC: Spice Up Your Life by the Spice Girls 560 00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:21,800 Could you turn that off, please? Who is that? 561 00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,000 Oh, I think he's here. 562 00:36:26,720 --> 00:36:30,920 # When you're feeling sad and low 563 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:32,840 TOYMAKER LIP-SYNCS: # We will take you 564 00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:34,320 # Where you gotta go 565 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:38,920 # Smiling, dancing Everything is free 566 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:42,160 # All you need is positivity 567 00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:44,160 # Colours of the world Spice up your life! 568 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,080 # Every boy and every girl Spice up your life! 569 00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,360 # People of the world Spice up your life! 570 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:49,840 # Aaaah 571 00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:51,960 # Slam it to the left If you're having a good time 572 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,240 # Shake it to the right If you know that you feel fine 573 00:36:54,240 --> 00:36:56,200 # Chicas to the front Ha ha 574 00:36:57,760 --> 00:36:59,800 # Slam it to the left If you're having a good time 575 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,000 # Shake it to the right If you know that you feel fine 576 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,160 # Chicas to the front Ha ha 577 00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:06,920 # Hai, si, ja, hold tight! La-la-la... # 578 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:08,920 Detain him! 579 00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:10,200 No, don't! 580 00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:15,320 SCREAMING 581 00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:17,480 What happened to them? They're dead. I'm sorry. 582 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:21,120 Just stop it. Let me talk to him. Come on! Open fire! 583 00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:23,080 Take him out. Take him out! 584 00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:25,240 # ..Timbuktu 585 00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:29,280 # Colour for both me and you 586 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:32,960 # Kung Fu Fighting Dancing Queen... # 587 00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,200 Stay where you are! Get down! 588 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,600 # Colours of the world Spice up your life! 589 00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:40,560 # Every boy and every girl Spice up your life! 590 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,600 # People of the world Spice up your life! 591 00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:45,920 # Aaaaaaaah 592 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:49,040 # Si, ja, hold tight! # 593 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:49,040 PARTY HOOTER 594 00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:57,480 You OK? I'm fine. I was lucky. Doctor, who is he? 595 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:02,440 The Toymaker. How does he do that? The Vlinx, speed up those scans. 596 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,240 I need those results. All of you, search the building. 597 00:38:05,240 --> 00:38:08,080 He's still here. Where's he gone? SOLDIER: Secure the perimeter! 598 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,760 But how does he do it? If I told you he manipulates atoms 599 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:15,120 with the power of thought, would you believe it? Is that what he does? 600 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:18,800 No. You can't fight him, Shirley, there's nothing you can do. 601 00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:21,520 Listen. Oy, just...listen. 602 00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:23,720 SHOP BELL RINGS 603 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:29,000 SHOP BELL RINGS 604 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:29,000 Oh, my God. 605 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,840 He's got the Galvanic Beam. 606 00:38:33,720 --> 00:38:36,000 Achtung, achtung! 607 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:37,320 Backen Sie. 608 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:40,640 Oh, how I am liking this, 609 00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:43,720 the gun mit the laser und the bang und the boom. 610 00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:45,720 Go back inside! Get back, get back! 611 00:38:45,720 --> 00:38:49,200 No, no, no, no, no. Every game is ge-needing an audience, ja. 612 00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:52,880 Get back inside! Und I said nein! 613 00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,120 (ENGLISH ACCENT) Now we can all have some fun. 614 00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:07,680 Where are my staff? The beam had a pilot, 615 00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:10,440 and the armourer and the ground staff. Where are they? 616 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:12,480 I think they're still falling. 617 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:13,800 DISTANT THUD 618 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:16,040 DISTANT GLASS SHATTERS 619 00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:19,800 I don't understand... 620 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:22,800 ..why you're so small! 621 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:27,880 You can turn bullets into flowers. 622 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:30,680 Think of the good you could do. 623 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:37,360 So tell me why you don't! You know full well this is merely a face 624 00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:39,920 concealing a vastness that will never cease, 625 00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,800 because your good and your bad are nothing to me. 626 00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,320 All that exists is to win or to lose. 627 00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:50,200 And you know full well that I've had many faces... 628 00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,360 ..containing something far more. 629 00:39:57,480 --> 00:39:59,240 So come with me. 630 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:02,920 Leave this tiny world. 631 00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:07,480 We can take your games back to the stars. 632 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:10,920 We can play across the cosmos. 633 00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:13,560 We can be... 634 00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:15,120 ..celestial. 635 00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:19,960 The Time Lord and the Toymaker? 636 00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:21,640 Infinite games. 637 00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:26,600 And yet... 638 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:34,520 ..I have fallen in love with humanity. 639 00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,680 This world is the ultimate playground. 640 00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:40,800 All of the sport, the matches, the medals, 641 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:45,200 the gambling and the anger and the children 642 00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:48,960 shackled to their bedrooms with their joysticks and their buttons. 643 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:52,520 You make games out of bricks falling upon other bricks. 644 00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:56,400 You are exceptional. And then there are the mind games. 645 00:40:56,400 --> 00:41:00,640 Oh, the dating and ghosting, the deceit and the control. 646 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:05,280 You make me dizzy. I am in no hurry to leave this place. 647 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:11,760 HE CHUCKLES We can play Grandma's Footsteps. 648 00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:17,400 And Off-Ground Touch. 649 00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:23,920 Ah! Stop, stop, stop, stop! Shooting ducks. Who's next? 650 00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:26,560 The companion? The soldier? 651 00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:30,280 The scientist? The orphan? 652 00:41:31,240 --> 00:41:33,920 Your fight is with me! 653 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:37,960 And you owe me... 654 00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:39,440 ..one more ga... 655 00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,200 I played the first game with one Doctor. 656 00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:48,160 I played the second game with this Doctor. 657 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:52,960 Therefore, your own rules have decreed I play the third game 658 00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:54,920 with the next Doctor. 659 00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:58,960 HE GROANS 660 00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:07,600 He's not dying alone. 661 00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:10,800 You can do what you like to me. 662 00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:13,560 I'm going to be with him. 663 00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:16,480 And so am I. 664 00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:19,640 Handmaidens. 665 00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:26,400 It's OK. It's not dying. I know. But... 666 00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:30,480 You're going to be someone else. It doesn't matter who... 667 00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:35,040 ..because every single one of you is fantastic. 668 00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:42,360 It's time. 669 00:42:45,720 --> 00:42:47,240 Here we go again. 670 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:54,920 Allons-y! 671 00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:10,720 Erm... 672 00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:13,080 What's happening? 673 00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:17,840 Could you...pull? 674 00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:21,400 Could I...what? And you. What do you mean? 675 00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:25,000 Pull! Pull? Pull? Just pull each way. 676 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,640 I don't know. It feels different this time. 677 00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:28,840 Ow! 678 00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:35,520 HE GROANS 679 00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:39,520 What? 680 00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,720 What? What?! 681 00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:43,600 No way. 682 00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:57,920 You're me. 683 00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:01,440 No, I'm me. 684 00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,360 I think I'm really, really me. 685 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:09,920 Oh-ho-ho, I am completely me! 686 00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,520 Don't just stand there. Push! 687 00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:16,200 - What? - Push. 688 00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:18,760 - Does this work? - I don't know. 689 00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,680 BOTH LAUGH TRIUMPHANTLY 690 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,400 NEW DOCTOR: Hello! 691 00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,520 - Look at you! - So good! 692 00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:36,720 Now, someone tell me what the hell is going on here. 693 00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:41,560 Excuse me. Sorry, but... 694 00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:42,840 How did that happen? 695 00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:44,880 Bi-generation. 696 00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:44,880 HE LAUGHS 697 00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:49,800 I have bi-generated! There's no such thing. 698 00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:52,360 Bi-generation is supposed to be a myth, but... 699 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:54,640 NECK CRACKS 700 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,880 ..look at me. 701 00:44:56,880 --> 00:45:01,120 Yeah, myth, myth, myth. Mel, what do you think? 702 00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:03,200 I think you're beautiful. 703 00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:04,720 Still beautiful? 704 00:45:04,720 --> 00:45:05,960 Yeah... 705 00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,200 Do you come in a range of colours? 706 00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:10,720 BOTH: Yes. If I can interrupt... 707 00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:13,960 Behold the game of the Time Lords. 708 00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:18,640 A dummy who dies and doubles and dies and doubles. 709 00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:22,600 I could play this for 100 years. I'll have vast meadows of Doctors 710 00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:26,560 dying over and over again, and I'll never get bored, because... 711 00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,840 BOTH: I challenge you to a game. 712 00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:33,160 There's two of you. 713 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:35,600 - I'm the Doctor. - And I'm the Doctor. 714 00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:38,360 And according to the rules, you can't say no. 715 00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:40,000 But that's cheating. 716 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:41,400 BOTH: How? 717 00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:44,240 DOCTOR: It's your game, and you did this. 718 00:45:44,240 --> 00:45:46,720 But... You doubled us. 719 00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:50,240 I accept your challenge. 720 00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:56,320 Get back. Moments like these are a joy, 721 00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:59,920 when someone thinks they can outwit the maker of the games. 722 00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:03,640 Do you think a grand total of two can cause me to shiver 723 00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:06,560 when I've played against the Guardians of Time and Space 724 00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:10,880 and shrank them into voodoo dolls? Name your challenge, Doctor. 725 00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:14,400 You said it. The first game ever. 726 00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:15,840 The ball. 727 00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:21,720 Catch? Of course, before we begin, there is one thing to remember. 728 00:46:21,720 --> 00:46:24,320 It's a simple game, really, but I think... 729 00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:26,480 ..if you drop it, you lose. 730 00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:30,920 Nice. 731 00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:42,240 HE GROWLS 732 00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,640 Hey! I'm on your side! 733 00:46:57,640 --> 00:47:00,400 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry! 734 00:47:09,720 --> 00:47:11,120 HE KISSES TEETH 735 00:47:45,720 --> 00:47:47,040 But... We won! 736 00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:48,640 NEW DOCTOR: We did it. 737 00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:51,080 Fair game. You lost. 738 00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:53,960 No, but I think you'll find... DOCTOR: Best of three. 739 00:47:55,000 --> 00:48:00,760 And my prize, Toymaker, is to banish you from existence for ever. 740 00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:04,600 No! But I'm... 741 00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:07,280 It's not... 742 00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,240 RIPPING 743 00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,240 You can't... 744 00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:13,240 But I... 745 00:48:13,240 --> 00:48:14,600 Not fair! 746 00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:17,680 Please. 747 00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:23,040 My legions are coming. 748 00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:24,280 HE YELLS 749 00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:28,440 ARPEGGIO PLAYS 750 00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:37,320 # Ha-ha-ha ha-ha ha... # 751 00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:41,840 Take it to the deepest vault and bind it in salt. 752 00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:44,040 Yes, ma'am. Shirley, tell Geneva we're in full resus. 753 00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:46,920 Tell every base to follow Green Shoot protocols, full liaison. 754 00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:49,480 Rudi, I'll want the names of all those staff. 755 00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:57,880 Hey. 756 00:48:59,720 --> 00:49:00,920 We did it. 757 00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:03,200 But how many died down there? 758 00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:04,880 That's not your fault. 759 00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:07,840 You can't save everyone. 760 00:49:09,720 --> 00:49:11,600 Why not? 761 00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:14,280 Come here. 762 00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:19,000 I've got you. Yeah? 763 00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:24,200 It's OK. I'm here. 764 00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:43,640 LAUGHTER 765 00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:50,080 And that's the petrolink shatterfy compensator, 766 00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:51,800 moved from there to there. 767 00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:55,400 Hyperdynes, er, fluid links, obviously. 768 00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:58,440 And, well, you know... 769 00:49:58,440 --> 00:50:02,800 Things. But, um... how's it going to work? 770 00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:07,200 You and me. 771 00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:11,400 This is great, I think. Is it? But... 772 00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:13,800 How do we both...? 773 00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:16,000 One thing you need in this place is a chair. 774 00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:17,640 I'll be all right. 775 00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:20,520 No, you're thin as a pin, love. 776 00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:24,000 You're running on fumes. That's what I keep saying. 777 00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:29,400 I'm just...post-bi-generation. 778 00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:31,440 Ah! It's more than that. 779 00:50:33,720 --> 00:50:35,760 Our whole lifetime. 780 00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:41,800 That Doctor that first met the Toymaker never, ever stopped. 781 00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:46,920 Put on trial, exiled, Key to Time, all the devastation of Logopolis. 782 00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:49,520 - Adric. - Adric. 783 00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:56,840 River Song. All the people we lost. Sarah Jane has gone. 784 00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:58,840 Can you believe that for a second? 785 00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:00,680 I loved her. 786 00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:04,080 I loved her. 787 00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:06,920 And Rose. 788 00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:10,760 But the Time War, Pandorica, 789 00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:12,400 Mavic Chen. 790 00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:19,720 We fought the Gods of Ragnarok, and we didn't stop for a second... 791 00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:22,800 ..to say, "What the hell?" 792 00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:25,040 But you're fine. 793 00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:27,600 I'm fine because you fixed yourself. 794 00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:30,960 We're Time Lords. We're doing rehab out of order. 795 00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:34,640 He's saying you need to stop. 796 00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:38,480 I don't know how. 797 00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:40,920 Well... 798 00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:44,360 ..I can tell you. 799 00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:47,560 Cos you know what I did 800 00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:52,600 when you went flying off in your blue box, Spaceman? 801 00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:56,560 I stayed in one place... 802 00:51:57,640 --> 00:52:02,040 ...and I lived day after day after day. 803 00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:04,240 It would drive me mad. 804 00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:07,320 SHE LAUGHS 805 00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:07,320 Yeah. It does. 806 00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:12,080 But you keep on going. 807 00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:16,240 And that's the adventure. 808 00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:20,200 The one adventure you've never had. 809 00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,360 Because I've... 810 00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:26,360 ..I've worked out what happened. 811 00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:30,760 You changed your face... 812 00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:36,520 ..and then you found me. Do you know why? 813 00:52:38,720 --> 00:52:40,280 No. 814 00:52:41,240 --> 00:52:42,920 To come home. 815 00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:55,840 Do you mean... 816 00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:58,200 ..he flies off? 817 00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:08,880 But I could never let the TARDIS go. 818 00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:13,280 - Never. It would hurt. - Yeah, but... 819 00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,680 ..bi-generation has never happened before. 820 00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:19,440 What if...? 821 00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:23,680 What if! 822 00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:29,720 HE LAUGHS 823 00:53:29,720 --> 00:53:32,760 What if the Toymaker's domain is still lingering? 824 00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:37,960 Just for a few seconds more, we're in a state of play. Oh! So maybe... 825 00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:41,440 Hey! Watch this, watch this. 826 00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:43,880 Watch, watch, watch, watch. Stand back. Stand back. 827 00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:45,640 Go on, that's it, Donna. 828 00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:48,800 Oh! Wish me luck. 829 00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:51,840 - What for? - We won the game. 830 00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:53,640 You get a prize, honey. 831 00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:57,240 And here is mine! 832 00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:02,760 Ta-da! 833 00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:05,680 I am so sorry. 834 00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:10,960 That is completely nuts. 835 00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:12,680 NEW DOCTOR LAUGHS 836 00:54:16,720 --> 00:54:18,640 Oh, look! 837 00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:22,640 Oh, that's not bad. Wheelchair accessible. 838 00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:25,800 At last, you finally caught up with the 21st century! 839 00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:27,200 Yeah. 840 00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:30,720 Go on. 841 00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:45,160 Ooh, jukebox. 842 00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:09,400 POWERS UP 843 00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:09,400 OK... 844 00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:11,840 HE MUTTERS TO HIMSELF 845 00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:17,640 Boom. 846 00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:22,320 Where is he? 847 00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:24,560 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 848 00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:27,680 You weren't going to leave without saying goodbye, were you? 849 00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:33,680 As if I would ever do that. Come here. 850 00:55:38,240 --> 00:55:40,480 Come here, come here, come here, come here. 851 00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:44,320 Look after him, you know? 852 00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:50,240 Now, you two, if you don't mind, there is a great big universe 853 00:55:50,240 --> 00:55:53,640 out there calling, and I've got to get going. So off you pop, old man. 854 00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:56,400 Oh! You're the old man. You're older than me. 855 00:55:56,400 --> 00:56:00,040 Actually, that is true. He's younger because you came after him. 856 00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:02,160 So you're the older Doctor. 857 00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:05,280 OK, kid. I love you. 858 00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:06,840 Get out! 859 00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:08,600 METALLIC THRUMMING 860 00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:10,280 I'm not doing that again! 861 00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:25,680 METALLIC THRUMMING 862 00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:25,680 Shirley, I don't suppose 863 00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:28,600 you've seen this before. I don't see it often myself. 864 00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:30,440 Stand by. 865 00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:32,120 Where's he going? 866 00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:33,480 Everywhere. 867 00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:40,160 Good luck. 868 00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:45,040 Right. The cast-iron pot is the vegan. Ta-da! 869 00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:47,560 And the one with the flowers is the chicken. 870 00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:50,560 Uh-huh. I think. And this is cauliflower cheese, 871 00:56:50,560 --> 00:56:53,000 which doesn't really go with anything, but it was there. 872 00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:56,440 Anyway, shush, please, for the eyebrow story. 873 00:56:56,440 --> 00:56:58,360 Oh, yes. So... 874 00:56:58,360 --> 00:57:01,760 ..this species only communicated with their eyebrows. 875 00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:03,400 I thought, "I can do that." 876 00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:05,720 So I'm stood there on this clifftop and I went... 877 00:57:05,720 --> 00:57:08,080 "..I mean you no harm. I come in peace. 878 00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:10,920 "I am your friend." Am I late? Sorry. 879 00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:14,560 The door was open. You don't mind? Oh, you're family, darling. 880 00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:18,400 Sit down. Did you drive? No. I got a lift off a zingo. 881 00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:20,680 THEY CHEER 882 00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:20,680 A zingo! 883 00:57:20,680 --> 00:57:24,200 Oh, how strange. So, she looked at me, 884 00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:27,360 the Warrior Queen of the Felooth, and she said, 885 00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:29,600 "Good. And now... 886 00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:31,120 "..you will marry me." 887 00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:33,320 I said, "What?!" And she pushed me off the cliff! 888 00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:35,880 THEY LAUGH 889 00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:37,880 But is it true, though? Is it really true? 890 00:57:37,880 --> 00:57:41,840 Mm... We could always go in the TARDIS and find out. 891 00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:45,600 Don't you dare! You are grounded until the Doctor feels better. 892 00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:47,240 Don't go sneaking off to Mars. 893 00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:49,440 Again. What does that mean? 894 00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:55,000 Oh, no. It was just once. Oh, you're in trouble. 895 00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:57,320 MEL: He took me to New York last week. 896 00:57:57,320 --> 00:58:00,160 The Gilded Age. It was amazing. Well, yeah. 897 00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:03,520 Just can't turn down my favourite niece. 898 00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:08,880 Oh! Niece. I like that. Well, that's what you are. 899 00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:11,120 With my best friend, my brother-in-law, 900 00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:14,360 the evil stepmother... Oh, I have barely begun. 901 00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:16,520 ..and Mad Aunty Mel. 902 00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:21,680 Mad Aunty Mel! Mad Aunty Mel. ALL: Mad Aunty Mel! 903 00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:23,320 And Grandad! Where is he? 904 00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:26,320 Oh, he's off shooting moles. 905 00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:28,800 GUNSHOT 906 00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:28,800 Oh! Don't worry, 907 00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:31,960 I gave the moles a forcefield. I love the moles. You love the moles? 908 00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:33,400 I love them. 909 00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:36,440 But here we are... 910 00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:39,200 GUNSHOT 911 00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:39,200 ..Grandad and all. 912 00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:42,480 Who'd have thought? I ended up with a family. 913 00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:46,560 Oh, my God, I got it wrong. The vegan one is in the flowers! 914 00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:49,880 Oh! What am I eating? Oh... 915 00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:51,800 Don't worry. We'll just... Don't make a fuss. 916 00:58:51,800 --> 00:58:53,600 Give it to Grandad. Give me your plate. 917 00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:55,400 You don't have to stay for ever. 918 00:58:57,600 --> 00:58:59,160 We'll see. 919 00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:04,600 Do you miss it? Out there? 920 00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:09,800 The funny thing is, I fought all those battles for all those years... 921 00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:13,520 ..and now I know what for. 922 00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:16,720 This. 923 00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:24,560 I've never been so happy in my life. 924 00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:34,240 Oh, that's better. 925 00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:38,280 BEEPING 926 00:59:41,080 --> 00:59:42,560 HE GROANS 927 00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:45,480 HE CHUCKLES