1 00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:08,480 There's no way out of this. We're going to die here. 2 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:11,150 Pass me the vibro-cutters. 3 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:12,710 They're in my pocket. 4 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:14,230 Come on then, pass them to me. 5 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,470 In my other jacket. At home. 6 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:18,830 Why have you got have two jackets, is one of them faulty? 7 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,630 Look, I don't have the vibro-cutters. If I had the vibro-cutters, 8 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,830 I wouldn't be able to pass you the vibro-cutters. 9 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,950 We're going to starve to death out here. 10 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,670 Of course we won't starve. 11 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:30,400 The sand piranhas will get us long before that. 12 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,830 Hiya. Sorry I'm late. 13 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:38,070 You're not, but you are brown, you're very brown. 14 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:42,150 - You weren't that brown this morning. - Sunbed. I'll get 'em in. Usual? 15 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,070 Fish people. 16 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:45,590 What are they like? 17 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,320 Fish. And people. Come and see. 18 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,390 - How's you? - Evening. Nice frock. 19 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,480 - It's a bit wet. - Freak shower. 20 00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,350 Is that seaweed? 21 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:00,840 I said freak. 22 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:08,670 - How much further? - TARDIS has got to be round this corner. 23 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:09,728 I hate soldiers. 24 00:01:09,729 --> 00:01:11,870 - Don't you hate soldiers? - Yeah. 25 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:13,520 Just keep running! 26 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,640 - Oh, yeah. Danny. Hiya. - Morning. Ready to run? 27 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:28,870 I can't keep doing this. I can't do it. 28 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,560 Yes, I can, I can do it, of course I can do it. 29 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,160 I've got it all under control. 30 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:39,470 So, where we off to? 31 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:42,440 Clara, you... You look lovely today. Have you had a wash? 32 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:47,790 - Why are you being nice? - Because it works on you. 33 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:51,790 Listen, I'm sorry but there's going to be no trip today. 34 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:55,390 I'm sorry. Er, I've got to do a thing. It might take a while. 35 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,390 - What thing? - Just a thing. 36 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,590 You're being mysterious, and do you know what means? 37 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,070 I'm a man of mystery. 38 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,430 Hmm. It means that you are a very clever man 39 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,190 making the mistake, common to very clever people, 40 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,750 of assuming that everybody else is stupid. 41 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:10,870 Where are you going? 42 00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:12,870 Undercover. Deep cover. 43 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:13,920 Can you do deep cover? 44 00:02:13,921 --> 00:02:15,310 - What do you mean? - Have you seen you? 45 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:16,710 Of course I can do deep cover! 46 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:18,400 Where? The Magic Circle? 47 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:21,790 I'll see you when I see you. 48 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:22,880 When's that? 49 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:25,880 When I see you. 50 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:29,280 Hmm... 51 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:36,510 Hmm... I'll be sure to have a wash. 52 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,920 Excellent. I was meaning to bring it up. 53 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:58,960 You lot! Not here...over there. 54 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,110 Morning, Mr Pink. 55 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,070 Morning, Courtney. And good morning, Miss Oswald. 56 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,870 Morning, Mr Pink. 57 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,310 - Do they know? - Possibly - they're children. 58 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:18,430 It's like they've got minds of their own. Are you OK? 59 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,310 Yeah, course I'm OK. Why wouldn't I be OK? 60 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,043 I dunno. Every time I see you, 61 00:03:22,044 --> 00:03:23,670 - it's like you're... - What? 62 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,870 In a rush. In a state. 63 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:27,710 In a space helmet, one time. 64 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,030 Sorry, er, I've had a...thing 65 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,950 and, er, the thing's gone so I'm all yours. 66 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,710 - What thing? What's gone? - Nothing. 67 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,910 It's like you're trying to be mysterious. 68 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,400 I'm not stupid, you know. 69 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:44,110 The next few days are all about you. I promise. 70 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:52,190 Which means, Jo, you'll have to cover for 8/4M in L3. 71 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,870 Hold on, there is just one more thing. 72 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,870 Atif's off sick, so we've got a newbie, 73 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,190 I did ask him to come along. 74 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,320 Ah, here he is. 75 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:08,470 I'm the new caretaker. John Smith. 76 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,070 Welcome to Coal Hill, Mr Smith. 77 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,950 Thanks. Yes, John Smith's the name. 78 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,840 But, you know, here's a thing, most people just call me the Doctor. 79 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,830 So, if anybody needs me, just, you know, give me a shout. 80 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:03,150 I'll be in the storeroom just getting the lie of the land. 81 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,510 Yes, no-one's taking any notice at all. 82 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:10,310 Absolutely good news because it means I must be coming across 83 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:14,310 just as an absolutely boring human being like you. 84 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,400 Deep cover. Deep cover. 85 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,070 - Do you know him? - Know who? 86 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:24,470 - The caretaker, Smith. "The Doctor." - Never seen him before in my life. 87 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,310 Bit intense looking. Did you see those eyebrows? 88 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,550 Did he wink at you? 89 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,710 No, I think that was just a sort of general wink. 90 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:33,070 He winked at everybody. It was a general welcoming wink. 91 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,070 Ah, I have, erm, left some marking. 92 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:38,680 Assembly. Chop-chop. Off you pop. Catch you in a bit. Excuse me. 93 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,350 - So, you recognised me, then. - You're wearing a different coat. 94 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:50,350 - But you saw straight through that. - Deep cover in my school? Why? 95 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,270 Where's Atif, what have you done with him? 96 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,710 He's fine, hypnotised, he thinks he's got the 'flu. 97 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,870 Also a flying car and three wives. It's going to be a rude awakening. 98 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:01,790 Is it aliens? Oh, my God, is that why you're here? Are there aliens? 99 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,572 It's assembly, you better get going. Go and worship something. 100 00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,230 Are there aliens in this school? 101 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:09,430 Listen, it's lovely talking to you, but I've really got to get on. 102 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:10,480 I'm a caretaker now. 103 00:06:10,481 --> 00:06:13,079 - Look, I've got a brush. - Doctor, is there an alien in this school? 104 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,470 Yes. Me. Now, go. 105 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,830 The walls need sponging and there's a sinister puddle. 106 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,070 You can't do this. 107 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:23,150 You cannot pass yourself off as a real person among actual people. 108 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,470 I lived among otters once for a month. 109 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:27,790 Well, I sulked. River and I, we had this big fight... 110 00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:32,000 - Human beings are not otters! - Exactly, it'll be even easier. 111 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:37,680 One question. And you will answer this question. 112 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:41,350 Are the kids safe? 113 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,750 No. Nobody is safe. 114 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:47,470 But soon the answer will be yes, everybody is safe, 115 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:50,950 if you let me get on. Now... 116 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,430 pretend you don't know me, stay out of my way. 117 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,310 The less you know, the better. I'll explain it all later. 118 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,550 - Go and sing with the otters. - I hate you. 119 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,840 That's fine, that's a perfectly normal reaction. 120 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,150 Basically, you've to get that guy on the block 121 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,430 and stop that other one shooting him. It's so sick. 122 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,470 I-I got that guy. That was, like, six months ago. 123 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,230 - You actually have to flick it that way. - Nah, but I'm saying... 124 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:18,440 You Coal Hill kids? 125 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:23,110 - Yes, so what if we are? - Then get to Coal Hill. 126 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,470 We've got a free period, mate. 127 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:26,950 You want me to take your names? 128 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,080 Come on. 129 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:32,040 This is unfair, mate. 130 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:36,960 Always come in threes. 131 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:41,800 Oi! I know you're in there. 132 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:56,400 Hello? I'm a police officer. 133 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:03,920 There's no point hiding. 134 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:08,760 Do you hear me? 135 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,630 Come on, kiddo. 136 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:15,830 Five-stop-intruder. Five-stop-intruder. 137 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,590 Turn your game off, it's time for school. 138 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:21,160 Come on! Stop messing about! 139 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,590 Problem-solution-DESTROY. 140 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:40,670 ...though unheard by Lydia, was caught by Elizabeth, 141 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,440 and as it assured her that Darcy was... 142 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:50,470 - You all right, Miss Oswald? - Yes, Kelvin, I'm fine, you carry on. 143 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:55,950 Every feeling of displeasure against the former was so sharpened... 144 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,630 Can I help you, Mr Smith? 145 00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:01,470 - Wrong. - I'm sorry? 146 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:05,430 On the board. Wrong. Wrong. 147 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,510 Oh, no, no, no, no. You don't do this. 148 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:10,910 You are the caretaker, this is not what you do. 149 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,670 - Just taking care. - Not your area! 150 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:16,270 Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice in 1796. 151 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:20,830 This is Mr Smith, the temporary caretaker, and he's a bit confused. 152 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:25,550 Not in 1797, because she didn't have the time. She was so busy... 153 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,630 Oh, I suppose she was your bezzie mate, was she? 154 00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,350 And you went on holidays together 155 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,390 and then you got kidnapped by Boggons from space 156 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,360 and then you all formed a band and met Buddy Holly. 157 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,670 No, I read the book. There's a bio at the back. 158 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,720 Get down. 159 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,360 - Boggons? - Go! 160 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,910 Right, that's it. Well done, Kelvin. Get going. 161 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,350 See you all in a couple of days. Thanks very much. 162 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,750 Miss, what about our homework? 163 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,720 Who asks for homework? Amateur. 164 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:07,030 - Miss Oswald... - Hello, Tobias, can't really stop. 165 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:10,030 I'm in the football team against Durrants on Thursday. 166 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:13,070 Sorry, but can I go early from English Thursday afternoon? 167 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,110 Tobias, you can do whatever you want. 168 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,910 - Clara, can I grab a quick word? - Actually, I, erm... 169 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,150 Two weeks Saturday, the fete, can I put you down for tombola 170 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,110 and the raffle? James H can't cover it now. 171 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:26,150 His wife's going into hospital. Hip replacement. Constant agony. 172 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:27,510 Great. 173 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:31,390 No, awful. That's terrible. Awful. I hope she'll be OK. 174 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,560 Erm, I'll do anything. Anything. OK. Bye. 175 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:40,110 Miss Oswald, Katie Sharps says I pulled her hair in Biology. 176 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,350 Courtney, you are big enough to look after yourself. 177 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,750 Next class, jog on, I need to talk to Mr Pink. 178 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:45,813 Ozzie loves the Squaddie. 179 00:10:45,814 --> 00:10:46,990 - What was that? - Nothing. 180 00:10:46,999 --> 00:10:48,919 Of course, Danny Pink here is your man, Mr Smith. 181 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:52,070 Five years' military experience, sergeant, here and Afghan, 182 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,950 so electrics, boilers, if you need a hand, give him a shout. 183 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,950 I-I've helped Atif with a couple of things. 184 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,080 I'm sure I won't need you, Sergeant. Fully qualified. 185 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:06,710 - You best get back to your PE class. - Oh, I teach maths. 186 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,350 - Do you? What, in emergencies? - No. I'm a maths teacher. 187 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:10,670 Yeah, he's a maths teacher... 188 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,390 Mohammed, put that down! 189 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,830 How does that work? What if the kids have questions? 190 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:15,893 - About what? - Maths. 191 00:11:15,894 --> 00:11:17,870 I answer them. I'm a maths teacher. 192 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:19,270 But he said you were a soldier. 193 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,830 Yeah. I was a soldier, now I'm a maths teacher. 194 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,190 But what about all the PE? 195 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,590 I don't teach PE. I'm not a PE teacher. 196 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,510 Sorry, that seems very unlikely. 197 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:33,510 Er, excuse me. Mr Pink, I think class 9M4 are waiting. 198 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,270 Yes, you better run along, Sergeant. 199 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,350 That ball isn't going to kick itself, is it? 200 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,720 I-I'm not a PE teacher, I'm a maths teacher. 201 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,350 Nope, sorry, no, I can't retain that. 202 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,480 I've tried, it's just not going in. 203 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:56,070 So...Pink. The name remind you of anything? 204 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,240 Yeah. The colour. 205 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,550 Colonel Orson Pink? 206 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,150 The guy we met at the end of the universe. 207 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,750 Oh, yeah. OK, same name, doesn't look anything like him though. 208 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:07,990 Looks very like him. 209 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,910 Does he? I don't know. Who remembers a PE teacher? 210 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,000 Never mind. 211 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,390 What are you doing? What...? What's in there? 212 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,070 So...is he here then? 213 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,230 Is who here? 214 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,950 The one you keep going on serious dates with. 215 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,870 If he is, are you going to start talking like a normal human being? 216 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,390 - I promise I won't. I'm being nice. - Doctor...? 217 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:30,150 - Clara. Got this period free, yes? - No. Yes. 218 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,680 - Great. Shakespeare. - Sorry, what, Adrian? 219 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,400 Oh...I see. 220 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,790 - You see what? - Nothing. Nothing at all. 221 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,230 Excuse me. We have to talk about The Tempest, 222 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:47,590 in light of the changes to the sixth form Shakespeare module, blah-de-blah... 223 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,200 Yes. Sorry, of course. 224 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,510 Yes, yes, no, of course, of course, yes. 225 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:57,910 Don't mind this old man. You two kids just pop off together. 226 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,230 Why are you talking like an idiot? 227 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,760 I'm a caretaker, don't mind me. 228 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,350 What we have to get across, I feel, 229 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:11,390 is that fascinating enigma of its...not-finishedness. 230 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,000 Mmm, yes, good point, Ade. 231 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:17,680 Oh, Clara. 232 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:35,640 What does that mean? Kids. What's the matter with kids today? 233 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,110 Hey, I said you could play chess, 234 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,550 I did not say you could play football on the chessboard. 235 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,430 Jack, Morgan, come on, help me out, clear it up. 236 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:06,280 And one for luck. 237 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,070 OK. Now we're in business. 238 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:16,760 Let's see the lie of the land. Time to see what's going on. 239 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,280 Hello? 240 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,080 Oi. 241 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,350 What are you doing? Are you in there? 242 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,350 Mirror, mirror on the wall, 243 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,590 who's the most dangerous of them all? 244 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:36,310 There's been a spillage in Geography, I need some paper towels. 245 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:37,550 Can't you read? 246 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,110 Course I can read. Read what? 247 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,910 The door. It says, "Keep Out." 248 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,720 No, it says, "Go Away Humans." 249 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,030 Oh, so it does. 250 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,190 Never lose your temper in the middle of a door sign. 251 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,590 What was you doing in there? What's that box? 252 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:54,950 A caretaker's box. Every caretaker has their own box. 253 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,230 It says, "Police". 254 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,950 Exactly, there's a policeman in there, in case of emergencies 255 00:14:59,000 --> 00:14:59,990 and children. 256 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,430 - Towels, there, g-g-go. - What was that green glow? 257 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,870 There was a green glow coming from in there. 258 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,630 - What was it? - Of course there was. 259 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,710 What's a policeman without a death ray? 260 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,470 Oh, listen, there's the bell, off you go. 261 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:14,510 - Haven't you got shoplifting to do? - I'm going to tell the Headmaster. 262 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:16,910 Oh, yes, well, fine. Cut along, you're running out of time. 263 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,170 - For what? - Everything. 264 00:15:18,171 --> 00:15:20,750 Human beings have incredibly short life spans. 265 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,870 Frankly, you should all be in a permanent state of panic. 266 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,910 - Tick tock, tick tock. - You're weird. 267 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,750 Yes, I am. What about you? 268 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,440 I'm a disruptive influence. 269 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,070 - Good to meet you. - And you! 270 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,760 Now get lost. OK. 271 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,870 Hello, miss, love to the Squaddie. 272 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:43,990 Sorry, what did you say? 273 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:45,430 What was she doing in here? 274 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:49,430 Paper towels. Now, I imagine you've many questions. 275 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,390 Fire away, I won't answer any of them. 276 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,261 - What were they like? - What were who like? 277 00:15:53,262 --> 00:15:54,390 The others before me. 278 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,150 Did they let you get away with this kind of thing? 279 00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,030 - This school is in danger. - Well, it's lucky I'm here then. 280 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:01,080 - From you. - Me? 281 00:16:01,081 --> 00:16:03,550 You wouldn't be here if there wasn't an alien threat nearby. 282 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,510 Your strategy for dealing with it involves endangering this school. 283 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:07,560 You don't know that. 284 00:16:07,561 --> 00:16:09,910 I don't know anything because you haven't told me anything, 285 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:14,400 which means I wouldn't approve, which means you are endangering this school. 286 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,870 What's that? 287 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,350 It's a scanner. I'm scanning. Why do I keep you around? 288 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:25,470 Because the alternative would be developing a conscience of your own. Scanning for what? 289 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,910 Any alien technology in this vicinity should show up. 290 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:31,190 I used to have a teacher exactly like you once. 291 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,880 You still do. Pay attention. 292 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,710 What the hell is it?! 293 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,910 A Skovox Blitzer, 294 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,950 one of the deadliest killing machines ever created. 295 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,670 Probably homed in here because of artron emissions. 296 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,910 You've had enough of them in this area over the years. 297 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,720 There's enough explosive in its armoury to take out the whole planet. 298 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,750 Then leave it alone. 299 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,990 Sooner or later it will creep from its hidey-hole 300 00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:00,790 and some military idiot will try to attack it. 301 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,200 The world is full of PE teachers. 302 00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:11,790 So, your insanely dangerous plan is? 303 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,110 A new watch. Tiny bit disappointed. 304 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,040 This is a very special watch. 305 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,080 Doctor? 306 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:29,280 Oi! Did you just flick my nose? 307 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,270 You're invisible. Oh, my God, that's incredible! 308 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,190 Correct. I am invisible and I am incredible. 309 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:41,267 It's simply a matter of reversing light waves. Hang on, I'm coming back. 310 00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:42,590 All right, where are you? 311 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:46,430 So, I give the Blitzer a tiny whiff of non-threatening alien tech, 312 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,510 I lead it back here, but I don't want it to scan me, hence invisible. 313 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:53,150 So you're leading the thing here? To a school? My school? 314 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,950 "MY school"? Oh, that is telling. 315 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,390 This is the only suitably empty place in the area. 316 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,630 I've set up a circle of time mines around the school. 317 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,750 Chronodyne generators. Bit unstable. 318 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,270 I switch them on, the Blitzer gets sucked into a big old time vortex, 319 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,070 billions of years into the future. Dead easy. Tiny bit boring. 320 00:18:10,079 --> 00:18:12,959 - I'll need a book and a sandwich. - And me. You're not doing this alone. 321 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:16,670 I don't need you this time. I'll see you tomorrow. 322 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:21,070 We'll go somewhere nice. Ancient Egypt. Crocodilopolis. 323 00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:24,230 They worship a big crocodile there, so the name is a useful coincidence. 324 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,400 Go and canoodle with your boyfriend. 325 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:35,070 Come on. I wasn't born yesterday, far from it. 326 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:36,590 You did recognise him. 327 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:40,390 Possibly reminded me of a certain dashing young time traveller. 328 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,910 Of course you recognised him. 329 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:47,470 Sorry. Stupid. I-I underestimated you. 330 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,430 - Easily done, there's a lot to estimate. - And you, you like him? 331 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:55,270 Yes, I like him. Very, very much. 332 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,960 Go home and canoodle. Doctor's orders. Come on. 333 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:03,750 - Just this once, I'm doing what I'm told. - Oh, sing hosanna. 334 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,160 So easy. 335 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:17,790 Miss Oswald. 336 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,950 - Ah, Mr... Mr Pink. - Still on for tonight? 337 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,630 Cos you had your "I'm about to cancel" frown on. 338 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:25,990 There's a specific frown? 339 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,470 And I was going to say, it's OK, I might have a thing, so... 340 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:30,600 A thing? 341 00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:36,750 - Tomorrow instead? - Tomorrow's parents' evening. 342 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,190 Not all evening. 343 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,720 No. Not all evening. 344 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,710 What do you think of him? 345 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,350 Er, who? The caretaker? 346 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,750 Where did he come from? What was he before? 347 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,270 He doesn't seem like a caretaker. 348 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,560 Well, he speaks very highly of you. 349 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,360 Anyway. Good night, Miss Oswald. 350 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,560 Good night...Mr Pink. 351 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,600 And we're off. 352 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,600 Home, sweet home. 353 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,520 Canoodling cancelled, if you need a hand... 354 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,510 Doctor? 355 00:20:58,560 --> 00:20:59,840 You invisible? 356 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,470 I am so going to confiscate that watch. 357 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:07,280 Where are you, my sleeping beauty? 358 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,800 Gotcha! Let's dance! 359 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:21,910 Doctor? 360 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,800 Where are you? 361 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:27,880 Hello? 362 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,590 Nine-stop-query-rescan. 363 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,640 Target-reacquired-success-success. 364 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,550 Come on, come on. 365 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,960 Gangway! 366 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,400 Not far now. Come on. 367 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,110 Nine-stop-parsing-data-pursue. 368 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:55,240 Bingo. 369 00:21:58,560 --> 00:21:59,680 Target-reacquired. 370 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,200 Hello? 371 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:14,350 What? Red? Red. No. No-no-no! 372 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:18,190 Range-one-point-four-nine-scan complete-problem-problem. 373 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:23,350 Listen. I'm unarmed. I'm peaceful. Do you understand? 374 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,510 I-I know that you shouldn't be on this planet 375 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,150 but I can help you with that. I... 376 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,270 Problem-solution-DESTROY. 377 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:30,390 I want a word with you. 378 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,960 - Get back! - Problem-solution-DESTROY. 379 00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:38,560 Get away from me! 380 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,630 Temporal-disrupt. 381 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:50,910 Warning-warning. Temporal-failure. 382 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,190 Doctor, stop! 383 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:54,870 Doctor! 384 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:58,280 Warning-system-failure. Abort. Abort. 385 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:13,400 Oh, oh, well done, PE, brilliant work! 386 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,350 "What's this? A chronodyne generator? 387 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,750 "I'll just deactivate that, shall I? 388 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,590 "I've got a swimming certificate so that qualifies me 389 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,150 "to meddle with higher technology. 390 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,310 "Never mind that some people are actually trying to save the planet. 391 00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:31,790 "Oh, no. There's only room in my head for cross-country and the offside rule." 392 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,790 - Danny, what are you doing here? - I was checking up on him. 393 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:38,720 He's been up to something, fiddling with the electric, but what the...?! 394 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,000 No. What...? 395 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,990 Did you see that thing? Tell me you saw that thing. 396 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:49,670 I saw the thing, yeah. Doctor, are we safe, is the planet safe? It's gone? 397 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,710 Yes, yes, yes, yes, for the moment. But the thing is, you see, 398 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:56,350 the chronodyne generators have to be precisely aligned to generate the vortex, 399 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,430 but the sergeant here, he went and moved one. 400 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,640 But the chronodyne worked, it's gone. 401 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,590 But not far enough. 402 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,590 The vortex will open here again, but not in a billion years. 403 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,030 Then when? 404 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,670 Er, 74 hours. Three days. 405 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:17,670 Three days to think of something new because now it knows what to expect, 406 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:21,929 now it's scanned me and will kill me on sight, 407 00:24:21,930 --> 00:24:23,800 thanks to PE here. 408 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,070 Clara, why are you talking to him like that? 409 00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:33,710 Why are you using words like chronodyne? 410 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:36,360 Was that thing a space thing? 411 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,320 Oh, my God, you're from space. 412 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,600 You're a spacewoman. You said you were from Blackpool. 413 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:55,150 It's a play! For the summer fete. 414 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,137 - It's a what? - Yes, it's a play. 415 00:24:57,138 --> 00:24:58,590 Shut up, it is a play. 416 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,750 We are rehearsing a play. Sh! Sh! Sh! A surprise play! 417 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:06,430 And, erm, you see, the vortex thing is-is a lighting effect. 418 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:07,510 Very clever. 419 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:12,430 And that thing is-is one of the kids. In fancy dress. 420 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:16,870 Really...really good fancy dress. 421 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,230 How stupid do you think I am? 422 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,510 I'm willing to put a number on it. 423 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:21,960 I'm not a moron, Clara. 424 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:24,920 And he's not the caretaker. 425 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,670 He's...your dad. 426 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,830 Your space dad. 427 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,510 Oh...genius. 428 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:39,510 That is really, really brilliant reasoning. 429 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,430 How can you think I'm her dad when we both look exactly the same age? 430 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,550 - We do not look the same age. - I was being kind. 431 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:45,667 Right, I'll hypnotise him, 432 00:25:45,668 --> 00:25:47,310 - I'll erase his memory. - Doctor, stop! 433 00:25:47,360 --> 00:25:49,520 - Tiny brain, won't take a moment. - He's my boyfriend. 434 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,550 Well, I'll try not to erase the whole thing. I'll leave the bits that... 435 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:56,390 He's my boyfriend. I thought you'd figured this out. 436 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:57,520 - Him? - Yes, him. 437 00:25:57,525 --> 00:25:58,550 No, he's not. 438 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,302 - Yes, he is. - Yes, I am. 439 00:26:00,303 --> 00:26:02,083 But he's a PE teacher. 440 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:03,790 You wouldn't go out with a PE teacher. 441 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,550 It's a mistake. You've made a boyfriend error. 442 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,070 I am not a PE teacher. I am a maths teacher! 443 00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:11,310 You're a soldier. Why would you go out with a soldier? 444 00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:14,120 - Why not get a dog or a big plant? - Because I love him! 445 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,990 Why would you say that? Is this part of the surprise play? 446 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:28,150 There is no surprise play. 447 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:31,150 Oh, it's a roller coaster with you tonight, isn't it? 448 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,310 What about the handsome one with the bow tie? 449 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:35,670 Adrian? No. He's just a friend and not my type. 450 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,190 Clara, are you going to explain any of this? 451 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:39,880 Who is this guy? 452 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,040 The Doctor is... 453 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,365 - Go on. - Yes, explain. Who is he? 454 00:26:49,366 --> 00:26:51,790 Why have you never mentioned him? 455 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:56,000 Because...he's an alien. 456 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,400 - Are you an alien? - No-no-no, I'm still from Blackpool. 457 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,110 Me and the Doctor, we travel through time and space. 458 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:09,550 Exhibit A. 459 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:14,990 It's called a TARDIS, but it's disguised as an old police phone box. 460 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:16,350 It's bigger on the inside. 461 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,080 And it's bigger on the inside than the outside. 462 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:21,920 Voila. 463 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,840 And we travel the universe in it. 464 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,470 What about that thing? Did you bring that here? 465 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,590 No, I'm going to protect you from that thing. 466 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:49,510 You said it was coming back. 467 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,870 Yes, it is coming back. Thanks to you. 468 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:55,470 This is a school. We have to evacuate, call the Army. 469 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,350 And that is the most dangerous thing right there. 470 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,229 Are you sure hypnotising is not on the menu? 471 00:28:01,230 --> 00:28:02,230 Yes. 472 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,590 We need to get help. This is an emergency. 473 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:08,750 Take him away, shut him up, shut him down, up or down, it doesn't matter to me. 474 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:12,230 - I've got a lot of work to do. Again. - Will you be OK? 475 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:16,710 Why wouldn't I be OK? I was fine till you two blundered in. 476 00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:18,110 Am I just being ignored? 477 00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,310 Come on, Danny. It's all right, it's all fine. 478 00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:25,510 You'll be OK. Let's get those legs moving... 479 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,070 that's it, down those stairs. Yep, that's it. 480 00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:31,350 This can all be explained and everything will be fine. 481 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:35,350 And when this is all over, you can finish the job. 482 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:36,710 How do you mean? 483 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:41,160 Well, you've explained me to him. You haven't explained him to me. 484 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:54,600 What do you think? 485 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,640 Say something. 486 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:11,680 So... there's an alien, who used to look like Adrian. 487 00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,510 Then he turned into a Scottish caretaker 488 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,470 and every now and then, when I'm not looking, you elope with him. 489 00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:21,000 I don't elope. 490 00:29:21,001 --> 00:29:23,750 - Do you love him? - No. 491 00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,080 Really had enough of the lies. 492 00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,150 - Not in that way. - What other way is there? 493 00:29:30,151 --> 00:29:32,199 - You know what I mean. - I don't know what you mean. 494 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,240 I know what you tell me, which isn't always the truth. 495 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:39,920 - Danny... - Why do you do it? 496 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,680 Why do you fly off in the box with him? 497 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,520 The truth, please, just this once. 498 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:57,280 Because...it's amazing. 499 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,880 Because...I see wonders. 500 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:06,520 OK. 501 00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:16,480 What are you thinking? 502 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:19,280 That's a good question. 503 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:25,510 It's funny, you only really know what someone thinks of you, 504 00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,680 when you know what lies they've told you. 505 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:33,910 You say you've seen wonders, you've seen amazing things, 506 00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:36,160 and you kept them secret. 507 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,080 From me. 508 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,640 So, what do you think of me, Clara? 509 00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:49,390 - Please, tell me how I fix this. - I just want to know who you are. 510 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:50,680 You know who I am. 511 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:56,760 When you're with him. When you're with the Doctor. 512 00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:11,190 OK, I think we've just got time before parents' evening. 513 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,670 An invisibility watch? Not even a ring. 514 00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,710 Press the button on the side, you're invisible. 515 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,030 You'll see me with the Doctor, the other me. 516 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:21,280 The exactly the same other me. OK? 517 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,440 Afternoon. Thanks for keeping out of my way. 518 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,430 You've not brought Dave with you, I hope. 519 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,080 His name's Danny. And no, I haven't. 520 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,030 I've explained it all to him. He gets it, he took it all really well. 521 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:44,400 Pass me that synestic. 522 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,830 So, when the Blitzer comes back, are you going to catch him with that? 523 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,030 It'll be a long, fiddly job. It's going to take me at least 24 hours. 524 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,830 Even longer if people keep talking to me, so do keep going. 525 00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:02,710 If it comes back Thursday night, are you sure about that? Cos you said chronodyne is unstable. 526 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,480 If you want bother someone, go and bother PE. 527 00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:07,920 He's a maths teacher. 528 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,720 - That's a shame, I like maths. - Not a soldier. 529 00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,160 Interesting. 530 00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:22,510 What is? 531 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:24,070 I'm bored. 532 00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:25,950 Let's go somewhere fun, what do you say? 533 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,910 Do you want to see the Thames frozen over? Oh, those frost fairs. 534 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:30,750 You can't. The Skovox thing. 535 00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:34,230 It's a time machine. We can get back straightaway, like we always do on your dates. 536 00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:37,510 Just make sure you don't get yourself a tan or anything, or lose a limb. 537 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,150 I don't think we should, not this time. 538 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,750 You've never said no before. Not even in the middle of dinner. 539 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,630 Remember you had to eat two meals in a row? 540 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:47,590 I just think, with the school in danger... 541 00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:49,910 - Danny! Why are you...? - He already knows I'm here. 542 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:52,870 That's why he's talking like that. He's being clever. 543 00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:54,950 Now you mention it, being a Time Lord, 544 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:58,470 I can feel a light-shield aura when it's right next to me. 545 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:01,190 "Time Lord"! Might have known. 546 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:03,430 Might have known WHAT? 547 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,110 The accent's good, but you can always spot the aristocracy. 548 00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:09,470 - It's in the...attitude. - Danny... 549 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,270 Now, Time Lords, do you salute those? 550 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:13,910 - Definitely not. - Sir! 551 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:15,870 And you do not call me sir. 552 00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:17,750 As you wish, sir. Absolutely, sir. 553 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,710 - And you can get out of my TARDIS! - Immediately, sir. 554 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:23,710 Doctor, this is stupid, this is unfair! 555 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:27,950 One thing, Clara. I'm a soldier, guilty as charged. You see him? 556 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,950 - He's an officer. - I am not an officer! 557 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,030 I'm the one who carries you out of the fire. 558 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,190 - He's the one who lights it. - Out. Now. 559 00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:36,151 - Right away, sir? Straight now? - Yes. 560 00:33:36,152 --> 00:33:37,960 - Am I dismissed? - Yes, you are! 561 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:42,790 That's him. Look at him, right now. 562 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:44,720 That's who he is. 563 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,800 On balance, I think that went quite well. 564 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:06,280 Danny...it's not time to go home yet. It's parents' evening. 565 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:11,750 Humans. 566 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,150 I never learn. 567 00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:15,560 What's in the box? 568 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:19,840 It's not really a policeman, is it? 569 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:27,120 You want to know what's in that box? I'll tell you what's in that box. 570 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:31,990 It's a time machine, it also travels in space, 571 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:36,110 and it usually contains a man who just wants to get on with his work 572 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,390 of preventing the end of the world, 573 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:42,110 but keeps being interrupted by boring little humans. 574 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:45,240 Cool. So, that's really a spaceship? 575 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,030 I'm serious, I'm trying to save this planet. 576 00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:52,670 End of the world for me tonight, whatever you do. Parents' evening. 577 00:34:52,720 --> 00:34:55,470 Is your name really Disruptive Influence? 578 00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:58,470 Courtney Woods. Can I go in space? 579 00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:01,030 I'll let you know. I may have a vacancy. 580 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:02,520 But not right now. 581 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,920 Two days? I can do it. 582 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:20,230 Right, are we quorate? Time to admit the hordes. 583 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,110 And look who's at the front of the queue. 584 00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,590 - Who are they? - Courtney Woods' mum and dad. 585 00:35:24,591 --> 00:35:26,421 - Can someone else do them first? - No problem, Ade. 586 00:35:26,422 --> 00:35:27,742 I can cope with anything tonight. 587 00:35:27,749 --> 00:35:30,020 Oh, happy days. 588 00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:08,190 No, no, no. No, no, no, no! 589 00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:12,550 I would say yes, I'm afraid Courtney is a disruptive influence. 590 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,430 Yeah, but last year you said she was a VERY disruptive influence. 591 00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,920 So, I suppose that counts as an improvement. 592 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,990 Excuse me, I think the caretaker wants me. 593 00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:32,710 Sorry, Mrs Christodolou, I think the caretaker wants me too. 594 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:34,150 What about my Angelina? 595 00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,630 Yeah, she's great, yeah, a really great girl, A-plus, 596 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,510 ten out of ten, top of the class. Sorry. 597 00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,520 Although, actually, handwriting could be better. 598 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,790 I'm sure they'll be back in a moment. 599 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,670 Looks like our Courtney was right about those two. 600 00:36:51,720 --> 00:36:54,430 - What's happening? - Clara, the vortex is opening. 601 00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:56,105 You said Thursday night. 602 00:36:56,106 --> 00:36:58,070 - Hall, quick. - PE, shut up. 603 00:36:58,120 --> 00:36:59,830 Clara, it'll scan the area, 604 00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:02,230 if it gets to parents' evening, it'll kill them all. 605 00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,310 - We've got to evacuate. - SHUT UP! 606 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:05,840 Quickly. What do I do? 607 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:09,990 It'll be here any second. Get to the hall. 608 00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:12,790 Give it some squirts of helicon energy, setting number 41, 609 00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,230 no more than three seconds each, random pulses. 610 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:18,310 Distract it, then you lead it away from the hall, give me two minutes. 611 00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:20,390 - Then what? - Just run straight to the TARDIS. 612 00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,630 But your gadget isn't ready yet. 24 hours, you said. 613 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,950 Yes, well, I've revised that down to two minutes. Probably. Clara, go. 614 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,990 - On my way. - You're using her like a decoy? 615 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,270 No, not like a decoy. As a decoy. 616 00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,870 Don't they teach you anything at stupid school? 617 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:34,790 Well, is there anything I can do? 618 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:37,230 Yes, yes, and this is very, very important. 619 00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:38,480 Leave us alone! 620 00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:47,070 Disrupt-temporal-lock. Disengaged-scan. 621 00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:48,160 Here we go. 622 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:57,360 Incoming-stop-identified-HELICON- HELICON-commence-retargeting. 623 00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,520 Target-acquired. Destroy. 624 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,400 Target-within-range. 625 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,880 Problem-solution-DESTROY. 626 00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:22,310 - DESTROY-DESTROY. - Doctor, now, it's got to be now! 627 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:24,990 - 20 seconds. - DESTROY. DESTROY. 628 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:26,680 Doctor! 629 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:34,529 I'm at green, I'm at green. 630 00:38:34,530 --> 00:38:36,790 - You're green! - Stop! Skovox Blitzer! 631 00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:38,390 Awaiting-orders. 632 00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:41,870 Skovox-Artificer. Analyse-stop-analyse-stop. 633 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:47,590 Superior-recognised-pattern- 110-orders-orders. 634 00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:48,910 Why's it listening to you? 635 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,830 Listening to its superior. This is a rough copy. 636 00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:53,150 It thinks I'm its general. 637 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:56,430 Initiate-input. Commence-shutdown-protocol. 638 00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:58,270 No-conflict-conclusion? 639 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:00,280 Problem-solution. 640 00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:02,950 Conclusion. 641 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,510 Final-input-code-missing. Emergency-terminate. 642 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,790 Initiate-self-destruct- in...nine...eight... 643 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:08,840 The input code. 644 00:39:08,841 --> 00:39:10,910 - I forgot the final input code. - seven-six-five... 645 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,870 - Do it now! - I need time. Distract it, Clara! 646 00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:16,070 Me, what can I do? 647 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,040 Oi, Skovox, over here. 648 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:21,760 Under-attack. 649 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:32,830 Artificer-Artificer-stop-confirm- stop-override-final-input-code. 650 00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,640 Code-accepted. Abort-self-destruct. 651 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:40,160 Orders-accepted-stop-stop-stop. 652 00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,910 Oh, my God! Oh, my God, you were amazing! 653 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:47,070 Oh, my God, you were so brilliant. 654 00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,240 Well, yeah, I was OK, wasn't I? 655 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:53,270 I was behind you every step of the way. 656 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,120 Had to make sure you were safe. 657 00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:57,520 You OK? 658 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:00,680 OK. 659 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:03,400 Just "OK"? 660 00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:06,270 It's all right, it doesn't matter. 661 00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,630 I don't need him to like me. 662 00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,190 It doesn't matter if he likes me or hates me. 663 00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:14,310 I just need to do exactly one thing for you. 664 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:17,080 Doctor, am I right? 665 00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:21,590 Yes. 666 00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:23,160 What? What one thing? 667 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:26,550 I need to be good enough for you. 668 00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:30,320 That's why he's angry. Just in case I'm not. 669 00:40:36,720 --> 00:40:39,760 He, er... He did just save the whole world. 670 00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,120 Yeah, yeah. 671 00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:46,280 Good start. 672 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:54,070 Farewell, Skovox Blitzer. Have a nice war. 673 00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:57,160 So, Courtney Woods, impressed yet? 674 00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,590 Actually, I'm feeling a bit ill. 675 00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:03,790 Ah, it can be a bit overwhelming. 676 00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:08,310 But look - the Olveron Cluster. 677 00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:13,640 A million stars, 100 million inhabited planets. 678 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:22,440 Ah, yes, there has been a spillage. 679 00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:32,550 So, what do you think now? 680 00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:35,190 - Of the Doctor? - Yeah. 681 00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:38,040 See, he's all right, isn't he, really? Underneath it all. 682 00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:47,320 OK. Tell me what you're thinking. 683 00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:52,960 I know men like him. I've served under them. 684 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:58,510 They push you and make you stronger, 685 00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,670 till you're doing things you never thought you could. 686 00:42:01,720 --> 00:42:04,910 I saw you tonight, you did exactly what he told you. 687 00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:06,400 You weren't even scared. 688 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,320 And you should have been. 689 00:42:12,240 --> 00:42:15,880 I trust him. He has never let me down. 690 00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:20,680 Fine. 691 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:26,710 If he ever pushes you too far, then I want you to tell me, 692 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,070 because I know what that's like. 693 00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:31,150 You'll tell me if that happens, yeah? 694 00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:32,990 Yeah, it's a deal. 695 00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,840 - No. It's a promise. - OK. I promise. 696 00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:39,082 If you break that promise, Clara, 697 00:42:39,083 --> 00:42:40,910 - we're finished. - Don't say that. 698 00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:44,910 I am saying it because if you if you don't tell me the truth, 699 00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:49,990 I can't help you, and I could never stand not being able to help you. 700 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:51,120 Are we clear? 701 00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:55,040 Yes. We're clear. 702 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:12,230 It was mad, it was like in a film or on the telly, 703 00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,950 like with science fiction guns. 704 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,790 Skovox Blitzer, sounds like. We've had a few in from that. 705 00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:20,560 - Wouldn't feel too bad. - If I hadn't... 706 00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:23,440 If I hadn't... 707 00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:29,110 Hang on. That doesn't make sense. 708 00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,430 Makes perfect sense to me. 709 00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:36,190 How did I escape? I don't remember how I got away. 710 00:43:36,240 --> 00:43:40,800 Well, I was coming to that. I'm afraid you really rather didn't. 711 00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:48,950 Then how did I get here? 712 00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,270 Well... big question. 713 00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:52,350 Where am I? 714 00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:55,150 What name would you like? There's a range. The afterlife. 715 00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:58,000 The Promised Land. I'm partial to the Nethersphere. 716 00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:04,320 My God! 717 00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:15,560 Sorry, she's a bit busy today. 718 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,000 So... any questions? 719 00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:25,270 Hello, Earth. We have a terrible decision to make. 720 00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:28,510 An innocent life versus the future of all mankind. 721 00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:32,710 Whatever future humanity might have depends on the choice made 722 00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:34,190 right here, right now. 723 00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:40,520 Decision made.