1
00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:54,457
Hey, Stifler, how come Steve
got all the talent in your family?

2
00:00:54,587 --> 00:00:57,943
MATT: Bite me, Fuck Face.
DEREK: Come on, man, you're missing it.

3
00:00:58,147 --> 00:01:01,298
I've seen it a million times,
you fucking ass-booger.

4
00:01:01,387 --> 00:01:05,062
ANDY: Steve is like a filmmaking genius.
DEREK: A true American hero.

5
00:01:05,147 --> 00:01:06,626
The Tarantino of titties.

6
00:01:06,707 --> 00:01:08,982
Yeah, there's just no way
you could ever be this good.

7
00:01:09,067 --> 00:01:10,546
Hey, look, I'm going to prove to Steve...

8
00:01:10,627 --> 00:01:13,664
that I'm up to the standards
of the Stiffmeister Productions.

9
00:01:14,187 --> 00:01:16,303
After Steve sees my directing talent...

10
00:01:16,387 --> 00:01:19,697
- little bro's joining the family business.
- Is that what he said?

11
00:01:19,787 --> 00:01:23,780
- He finally called you back?
- No, but I left him another message.

12
00:01:25,347 --> 00:01:28,498
He'll get back to me.
It's only been three weeks.

13
00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:34,661
Gentle-fucks, a toast.
Tomorrow, we begin our reign as seniors.

14
00:01:52,867 --> 00:01:54,585
(Band performing)

15
00:02:29,907 --> 00:02:31,579
(Crashing drums)

16
00:02:34,067 --> 00:02:36,342
Okay, people, let's take a break.

17
00:02:36,707 --> 00:02:40,859
<i>ELYSE: Remember, we play this at the end of
the ceremony after Pomp and Circumstance. </i>

18
00:02:40,947 --> 00:02:43,097
I don't want anyone starting
the wrong song again.

19
00:02:43,187 --> 00:02:46,020
- Elyse, you need to relax, girl.
- I'm fine.

20
00:02:46,347 --> 00:02:49,145
I just... You know,
it's my first time up here, and...

21
00:02:49,227 --> 00:02:51,821
Yeah, but it's graduation.
It ain't the Boston Pops.

22
00:02:51,907 --> 00:02:54,979
This performance sets the tone
for our senior year. I mean...

23
00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:59,583
Look, you just remember
that everybody here is pulling for you.

24
00:03:03,467 --> 00:03:05,981
Dork. Dork. Dork. Goose.

25
00:03:06,907 --> 00:03:10,377
- I like them feisty.
- What're you doing here, Stifler?

26
00:03:10,467 --> 00:03:12,981
<i>We just want to say sayonara,
and let you fuck-necks know...</i>

27
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:17,777
we plan on winning the state title, now that
the Stiffmeister's running the show.

28
00:03:17,867 --> 00:03:21,701
<i>- Adios, butt-hugger.
- He's a bigger asshole than his brother.</i>

29
00:03:25,147 --> 00:03:26,899
Holy shit, Arrianna.

30
00:03:27,747 --> 00:03:29,897
Matt, what're you doing here?

31
00:03:30,027 --> 00:03:34,100
Oh, we just want to make sure
the seniors have a very memorable last day.

32
00:03:34,187 --> 00:03:37,020
That's cool. So, there's a campout tonight...

33
00:03:37,107 --> 00:03:40,065
and it's only for the grads,
but you could come.

34
00:03:40,147 --> 00:03:42,707
Let me check my schedule. Hell, yeah.

35
00:03:43,947 --> 00:03:47,622
Bring your sleeping bag,
in case we decide to pitch a tent.

36
00:03:52,347 --> 00:03:56,101
ANDY: Check it out. Perfect timing.
DEREK: This is going to be classic.

37
00:03:56,667 --> 00:03:59,898
Time to initiate
Operation Gradu-fuck-uation.

38
00:04:02,507 --> 00:04:04,338
This is gonna be awesome.

39
00:04:04,427 --> 00:04:06,179
- Shit.
- Oh, yeah! Jackpot!

40
00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:10,216
MATT: Payback, seniors.
Don't get that pepper spray on your hands.

41
00:04:13,147 --> 00:04:15,945
A graduation gift from the Stiffmeister.

42
00:04:19,347 --> 00:04:21,781
ANDY: Dude, we should've sprayed
the diplomas.

43
00:04:24,027 --> 00:04:25,506
MATT: Sorry, bandees.

44
00:04:25,627 --> 00:04:26,616
(Laughing)

45
00:04:30,467 --> 00:04:34,062
Bite my nuts and call me Skippy.
It's a Steely Dan.

46
00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:37,424
- A what?
- It's a double-headed dildo.

47
00:04:38,107 --> 00:04:39,540
It's a dildo. It's a dildo.

48
00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:42,297
- Holy shit.
- It's even got a name.

49
00:04:43,947 --> 00:04:44,936
Picardo?

50
00:04:45,307 --> 00:04:48,299
- Spray that shit.
- Fuck, no. Finders keepers.

51
00:04:48,547 --> 00:04:51,823
<i>ELYSE: Okay, everybody, Pomp and
Circumstance.  Five-minute warning. Let's go.</i>

52
00:04:51,907 --> 00:04:54,137
The bandees. Let's get out of here.

53
00:04:58,107 --> 00:05:00,063
- Matt?
- Leesy.

54
00:05:01,547 --> 00:05:04,380
How they hanging?
Still small and perky, I see.

55
00:05:04,467 --> 00:05:06,776
- (Sarcastically) That's funny.
- (Sarcastically) Yeah.

56
00:05:07,787 --> 00:05:11,621
- What're you doing here, Matt?
- I just came by to wish you good luck.

57
00:05:11,707 --> 00:05:14,141
- You know, on the whole music thing.
- Good luck?

58
00:05:14,227 --> 00:05:16,900
You haven't said a word to me
since the eighth grade.

59
00:05:16,987 --> 00:05:19,899
Yeah, and that tone of voice
is exactly the reason why.

60
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,262
So, I'm going to take off now.

61
00:05:26,027 --> 00:05:30,179
Ladies and gentlemen,
please rise to honor our graduates.

62
00:05:30,267 --> 00:05:31,859
Douchebag's gonna miss it.

63
00:05:44,107 --> 00:05:45,381
Oh, yes.

64
00:05:48,587 --> 00:05:50,179
Are they crying?

65
00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:54,140
Holy shit!

66
00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:01,776
Yes!

67
00:06:22,387 --> 00:06:24,059
Eat shit, seniors.

68
00:06:30,107 --> 00:06:31,381
(Audience gasping)

69
00:06:43,387 --> 00:06:44,376
Uh oh!

70
00:06:44,707 --> 00:06:46,902
Stifler!

71
00:06:49,467 --> 00:06:52,982
I've been waiting for this moment
for a very long time.

72
00:06:54,187 --> 00:06:56,860
And now, the day of reckoning has come.

73
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,466
Hello, Matthew.

74
00:07:01,987 --> 00:07:04,262
Your brother must be very proud.

75
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,977
You've continued his legacy.

76
00:07:09,947 --> 00:07:12,017
Tormenting the innocent...

77
00:07:12,627 --> 00:07:15,585
defiling all that is good and pure.

78
00:07:18,867 --> 00:07:21,461
But now, you're going down.

79
00:07:22,507 --> 00:07:25,579
What're you going to do,
expel me, Shermanator?

80
00:07:26,907 --> 00:07:29,740
I am a sophisticated counseling machine...

81
00:07:29,827 --> 00:07:33,422
sent back in time
to guide young and innocent minds.

82
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:38,577
My primary directive is to protect
the students of this institution...

83
00:07:39,427 --> 00:07:42,180
and all, indeed all mankind...

84
00:07:42,907 --> 00:07:45,705
from the menace that is another Stifler.

85
00:07:45,907 --> 00:07:48,375
Behavior modification is required.

86
00:07:48,707 --> 00:07:51,426
It's not too late to change your future.

87
00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:57,855
No, expulsion would be too easy.

88
00:07:59,347 --> 00:08:00,860
(Police siren wailing)

89
00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:04,064
I know the perfect punishment
to fit your crime.

90
00:08:06,467 --> 00:08:09,459
Since you have so much trouble
with the band...

91
00:08:09,627 --> 00:08:12,221
perhaps you should make friends with them.

92
00:08:12,307 --> 00:08:13,899
No fucking way.

93
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:20,104
Either you learn to be more considerate
or you will be expelled.

94
00:08:20,907 --> 00:08:22,340
No football.

95
00:08:23,267 --> 00:08:24,416
No parties.

96
00:08:24,507 --> 00:08:26,259
No spring break.

97
00:08:26,987 --> 00:08:29,455
(Echoing) No graduation.

98
00:08:29,787 --> 00:08:31,345
(Echoing) No college.

99
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:33,065
(Echoing) No coeds.

100
00:08:33,907 --> 00:08:35,260
<i>Comprende?</i>

101
00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:41,743
Pack your bags, Stifler.

102
00:08:42,267 --> 00:08:44,940
- You're going to Band Camp.
- Band Camp!

103
00:08:51,387 --> 00:08:53,617
Bullshit, trash.

104
00:08:58,107 --> 00:08:59,540
<i>All right, Steve! Valley Girls Gone Wild. </i>

105
00:09:01,187 --> 00:09:02,222
Fuck.

106
00:09:20,187 --> 00:09:21,415
MATT: Told you Steve'd get back to me.

107
00:09:21,507 --> 00:09:22,826
I mean, it was just a postcard...

108
00:09:22,907 --> 00:09:25,023
but it gave me a great idea.

109
00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:26,176
Look...

110
00:09:26,267 --> 00:09:28,303
Steve's shit-head friend, Jim...

111
00:09:28,387 --> 00:09:30,742
he married
this freaking nympho band-geek, Michelle.

112
00:09:30,827 --> 00:09:33,625
And he said
all they do at Band Camp is screw 24/7.

113
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:37,666
Matt, buddy, you cannot screw band chicks.
There are standards.

114
00:09:38,987 --> 00:09:42,263
I'm not talking about screwing them,
scrotum-breath.

115
00:09:42,387 --> 00:09:44,821
I'm talking about videotaping them.

116
00:09:44,907 --> 00:09:48,297
People love to see dorks doing
that freaky shit on hidden video.

117
00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:52,062
<i>Bandeez Gone Wild.
Steve's gonna have some competition now...</i>

118
00:09:52,227 --> 00:09:54,695
because little bro's
joining the family business.

119
00:09:59,747 --> 00:10:01,305
Yeah, Spy Chest.

120
00:10:01,987 --> 00:10:03,420
Secret Video.

121
00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:06,176
Hell, yeah.

122
00:10:09,707 --> 00:10:10,981
Color night vision? I'll take it. Shit.

123
00:10:18,907 --> 00:10:20,545
How about tomorrow?
This is going be great.

124
00:10:42,667 --> 00:10:44,066
(Cheering)

125
00:11:00,907 --> 00:11:03,740
<i>NELSON: Welcome to Tall Oaks 2005.</i>

126
00:11:04,907 --> 00:11:07,580
<i>Let's hear it from Lloyd Memorial High. </i>

127
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,976
L- L-O-Y-D!

128
00:11:10,707 --> 00:11:12,186
L- L-O-Y-D!

129
00:11:13,387 --> 00:11:15,059
<i>- Mount St. Marie.
- Mount St. Marie!</i>

130
00:11:15,227 --> 00:11:16,546
Mount St. Marie!

131
00:11:16,627 --> 00:11:18,185
<i>East Great Falls High. </i>

132
00:11:18,787 --> 00:11:20,186
East Great Falls!

133
00:11:20,707 --> 00:11:22,140
East Great Falls!

134
00:11:22,987 --> 00:11:26,138
<i>And five-time defending
Tall Oaks Cup Champion... </i>

135
00:11:26,427 --> 00:11:28,145
<i>Beechwood Academy. </i>

136
00:11:28,227 --> 00:11:30,866
We're Number One! We're Number One!
We're Number One!

137
00:11:30,947 --> 00:11:32,096
<i>Okay, settle down. </i>

138
00:11:32,947 --> 00:11:35,142
<i>Now, as you know, each year... </i>

139
00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:38,139
<i>one senior Tall Oaks composer is awarded... </i>

140
00:11:38,227 --> 00:11:42,539
<i>a full scholarship
to the prestigious Robards Conservatory. </i>

141
00:11:42,627 --> 00:11:44,697
Elyse, this is your year to win.

142
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,859
<i>NELSON: This year, Dr. Susan Choi,
president of Robards... </i>

143
00:11:47,947 --> 00:11:50,745
<i>will judge the compositions herself. </i>

144
00:11:50,827 --> 00:11:55,139
<i>And let's not forget to welcome
the Tall Oaks Camp Counselors. </i>

145
00:12:02,147 --> 00:12:06,220
<i>If you visit our infirmary, Nurse Sanders
will take care of your every need. </i>

146
00:12:08,787 --> 00:12:13,178
<i>Okay, so let's work hard,
and may the best band win. </i>

147
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:21,896
You guys ready?

148
00:12:39,867 --> 00:12:41,380
What the fuck?

149
00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:44,022
Are you a rookie? You look lost.

150
00:12:44,387 --> 00:12:47,982
Are you an asshole?
You're hairy, and you smell like shit.

151
00:12:49,587 --> 00:12:52,579
I'll ignore that kind of talk once.

152
00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:55,737
We don't speak that way here.

153
00:12:55,827 --> 00:13:00,105
Rookies are to wear their beanies
at all times. Those are the rules.

154
00:13:00,187 --> 00:13:02,860
And who made you
the mayor of Geek Town?

155
00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:07,626
I'm Brandon Vandecamp,
senior drum major, Beechwood Academy...

156
00:13:07,707 --> 00:13:09,379
and the president of the Tall Oaks Council.

157
00:13:09,467 --> 00:13:13,301
Oh, and who are they, Mr. President?
The First Lady and Vice Pussy?

158
00:13:19,187 --> 00:13:20,506
Suits you well.

159
00:13:20,627 --> 00:13:25,178
Golly, jeepers, thanks. Hey, you know,
since I'm an official band geek and all...

160
00:13:25,267 --> 00:13:27,417
can you guess
what my favorite piece of music is?

161
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,862
<i>- I have no idea.
- The Nutcracker. </i>

162
00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:33,222
MATT: Step back, bitch.

163
00:13:33,307 --> 00:13:35,582
Holy mother of Mozart.

164
00:13:37,427 --> 00:13:38,496
This is bad.

165
00:13:38,587 --> 00:13:41,147
You didn't know Jackie Chan
was in the house, did you boys, huh?

166
00:13:41,227 --> 00:13:43,138
Stop that. Stop that now.

167
00:13:43,227 --> 00:13:45,457
Those knob-slobbers started it.

168
00:13:45,547 --> 00:13:48,061
That's not true, sir.
We simply reminded him to wear his beanie.

169
00:13:48,147 --> 00:13:50,422
And then he viciously assaulted
Brandon's genitals.

170
00:13:50,507 --> 00:13:54,785
- That's a lie, you dick-snot.
- Oscar, Jimmy, escort this man to see...

171
00:13:55,027 --> 00:13:57,257
- the Macro.
- The what?

172
00:13:57,707 --> 00:13:59,857
- You're dead.
- Now, gentlemen.

173
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:02,737
God, Brandon, are you okay?

174
00:14:03,747 --> 00:14:06,181
You want to tell me
what the hell you're doing here, Stifler?

175
00:14:06,267 --> 00:14:08,701
It don't matter, Big O.
He ain't gonna be here long.

176
00:14:08,787 --> 00:14:09,856
- Bitch!
- Get over here.

177
00:14:09,947 --> 00:14:12,063
Macro gonna fuck your ass up, fool.

178
00:14:12,147 --> 00:14:14,615
- What the fuck's a macro?
- The Macro.

179
00:14:14,707 --> 00:14:16,823
Morale And Conflict Resolution Officer.

180
00:14:16,907 --> 00:14:19,182
I heard this one time,
this kid went into that office...

181
00:14:19,267 --> 00:14:20,939
a baritone and came out a soprano.

182
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,860
- Clarinet up the ass backwards, yo.
- What?

183
00:14:25,307 --> 00:14:26,899
(Faint screaming)

184
00:14:31,107 --> 00:14:32,381
Pussies.

185
00:14:40,187 --> 00:14:41,586
(Screaming on TV)

186
00:14:43,547 --> 00:14:44,536
(Slamming)

187
00:14:45,707 --> 00:14:47,026
Oh, I'm sorry.

188
00:14:49,107 --> 00:14:51,177
<i>Frankenstein.  Scary stuff.</i>

189
00:14:52,387 --> 00:14:54,696
I am just a Boris Karloff nut.

190
00:14:54,987 --> 00:14:58,900
- I'm the Macro, Mr. Levenstein.
- Holy shit, you're Jim's dad.

191
00:14:59,467 --> 00:15:02,300
He screwed that redheaded nympho chick
at my lake house.

192
00:15:02,387 --> 00:15:05,936
- Oh, my, you're not a Stifler?
- Yeah, I'm Steve's brother, Matt.

193
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:10,777
- There are two Stiflers?
- Yes, sir. Hey, what're you doing here?

194
00:15:10,867 --> 00:15:14,701
Oh, well, Jim is now out of the house,
married to Michelle...

195
00:15:14,787 --> 00:15:17,824
that redheaded nympho chick
that you spoke of.

196
00:15:19,027 --> 00:15:21,860
And, being a former
Tall Oaks Counselor of the Year...

197
00:15:21,947 --> 00:15:26,862
she was hired to be the Macro this summer,
but she got pregnant.

198
00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:30,497
No doubt due to the tendencies
you alluded to earlier.

199
00:15:30,587 --> 00:15:33,499
And I have a great rapport with
young people...

200
00:15:33,587 --> 00:15:35,896
so I just stepped in and volunteered.

201
00:15:35,987 --> 00:15:39,377
That cretin is not in our band,
and we are not responsible for his actions.

202
00:15:39,467 --> 00:15:42,106
- Who pissed in your piccolo?
- I'm sensing some hostility here.

203
00:15:42,187 --> 00:15:43,461
- He poisoned my band.
- What?

204
00:15:43,547 --> 00:15:46,425
- I'm the Macro and it's my job to deal with...
- What is he doing here?

205
00:15:46,507 --> 00:15:49,783
- Matt Stifler is pure evil just like his brother.
... conflict.

206
00:15:49,867 --> 00:15:51,300
Thanks, Leesy.

207
00:15:52,627 --> 00:15:53,616
(Huffing)

208
00:15:55,907 --> 00:15:57,420
She seems nice.

209
00:15:58,347 --> 00:15:59,746
There are rules, of course.

210
00:15:59,827 --> 00:16:01,465
- You will have to wear a beanie.
- Yeah.

211
00:16:01,547 --> 00:16:04,823
Oh, I know. It's a little silly,
but it's tradition here...

212
00:16:04,907 --> 00:16:08,377
something you're familiar with,
being on the football team, I'm sure...

213
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:11,857
with your elephant walks and circle jerks
and drinking butt beer.

214
00:16:11,947 --> 00:16:14,177
But here, you just have to wear
a silly little hat and...

215
00:16:14,267 --> 00:16:16,701
- a somewhat stylish Tall Oaks T-shirt.
- Yeah.

216
00:16:17,307 --> 00:16:19,263
So, just go with the flow, Matt...

217
00:16:19,347 --> 00:16:21,656
and you will have loads of fun...

218
00:16:22,027 --> 00:16:24,939
and you'll be making new friends in no time.

219
00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:34,420
Hey, Ernie Kaplowitz, tenor sax.

220
00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:38,181
Cool! I'm a rookie here, too.

221
00:16:38,427 --> 00:16:42,181
I really wanted to come last year,
but Computer Camp conflicted, and...

222
00:16:42,347 --> 00:16:46,306
Oh, yeah, that was here when I arrived.
I think it has your name on it.

223
00:16:48,347 --> 00:16:49,700
What is it?

224
00:16:51,387 --> 00:16:54,902
<i>Hi, welcome to Casa de Stifler.
I'll be your host, Matt.</i>

225
00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:58,457
Every day here, I'll make it my sincere goal
not to have to kick your ass.

226
00:16:58,547 --> 00:17:01,266
Allow me to show you
to your new accommodations.

227
00:17:02,267 --> 00:17:04,781
When I'm out here, you're in there.

228
00:17:05,947 --> 00:17:07,903
Have a great day, fucko.

229
00:17:08,187 --> 00:17:09,336
I don't...

230
00:17:12,627 --> 00:17:13,742
ERNIE: Okay...

231
00:17:13,827 --> 00:17:15,419
I'll just go and put this stuff away for you.

232
00:17:15,507 --> 00:17:16,701
All right. Bandee-vision.

233
00:17:19,387 --> 00:17:23,460
This is a 1978 Ohio State show...

234
00:17:23,547 --> 00:17:24,866
<i>The Wizard Of Oz. </i>

235
00:17:24,947 --> 00:17:28,542
The one where the sousaphone player
forgot to dot the I? Oh, hey.

236
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:33,061
Yeah, right. Freaks.

237
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:37,342
Never fear, the Stiffmeister's here.

238
00:17:37,427 --> 00:17:40,464
Band Camp just got
a whole lot better, ladies.

239
00:17:40,587 --> 00:17:43,055
You're Steve Stifler's younger brother,
aren't you?

240
00:17:43,147 --> 00:17:44,899
- Young and hung.
- Great.

241
00:17:45,027 --> 00:17:48,224
<i>- Could you send him a message for me?
- No problem, senorita. </i>

242
00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:59,339
Well, it looks like Steve gave someone
the old Stifler bang-and-boot.

243
00:18:00,387 --> 00:18:03,538
- Is there a problem here?
- No, everything's fine.

244
00:18:05,507 --> 00:18:08,624
- Have fun at Band Camp.
- Thank you, I will.

245
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,697
- Later.
- Word.

246
00:18:15,187 --> 00:18:17,860
You need to start showing some respect
around here, Stifler.

247
00:18:17,947 --> 00:18:21,223
You need to show yourself
back to your table, Big Dog.

248
00:18:21,307 --> 00:18:23,059
Out of my way, Yo.

249
00:18:24,387 --> 00:18:28,266
<i>Hola, chicas.
Elyse, so good to see you again.</i>

250
00:18:28,587 --> 00:18:31,579
So, what's going on tonight?
We gonna party, get a little crazy?

251
00:18:31,667 --> 00:18:34,135
Who wants to rack up
a few frequent fucker miles?

252
00:18:34,227 --> 00:18:37,185
- You know, you are the most...
- Most sexy man ever to come to Band Camp.

253
00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:41,146
- What? Chloe, he is so obnoxious.
- Sexy obnoxious.

254
00:18:41,227 --> 00:18:44,185
- Thank you.
- I'm tired of messing around with these...

255
00:18:44,267 --> 00:18:46,098
dorky-ass nice guys...

256
00:18:46,227 --> 00:18:48,377
and sensitive-artist types.

257
00:18:48,747 --> 00:18:53,104
<i>- Let's party with a real hombre tonight.
- Hell, yeah. That's me:</i>

258
00:18:53,627 --> 00:18:57,461
<i>- 100% hombre.
- All right, my room, 8:00.</i>

259
00:18:58,587 --> 00:19:02,102
<i>Great first day, campers.
This is your Macro speaking... </i>

260
00:19:02,187 --> 00:19:05,577
<i>and, hey, morale
couldn't have been higher today. </i>

261
00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:08,306
<i>So hop in the sack,
and get a good night's sleep because... </i>

262
00:19:09,667 --> 00:19:12,465
<i>starting tomorrow, we have
many, many exciting activities planned... </i>

263
00:19:12,547 --> 00:19:16,142
<i>not the least of which is
the race for the Tall Oaks Cup. </i>

264
00:19:16,307 --> 00:19:18,263
<i>So let the games begin. </i>

265
00:19:18,547 --> 00:19:22,335
<i>MATT: Bandeez Gone Wild.
Scene One. Party hombre. </i>

266
00:19:27,027 --> 00:19:31,179
It's called Strip Trivia. We made it up.
It's a Band Camp tradition.

267
00:19:31,507 --> 00:19:35,625
"Fourth and Long," "Sextuplets,"
"Banging Babes," and "Who Blew Me?"

268
00:19:35,747 --> 00:19:38,784
This looks like my kind of game.
Shall we play?

269
00:19:39,747 --> 00:19:42,625
You sit in the middle.
Your game, my seating chart.

270
00:19:42,747 --> 00:19:44,226
Sit a little closer, ladies.

271
00:19:44,307 --> 00:19:46,537
<i>Don't be scared. It's all right. </i>

272
00:19:46,627 --> 00:19:47,742
<i>Okay... </i>

273
00:19:48,027 --> 00:19:50,905
<i>the rules are simple.
You choose a category and a question... </i>

274
00:19:50,987 --> 00:19:53,342
and every time you miss, you strip.

275
00:19:53,427 --> 00:19:54,462
Hell, yeah.

276
00:19:54,547 --> 00:19:58,062
- I'll go first. "Who Blew Me?"
- Good.

277
00:20:01,227 --> 00:20:05,505
I am a silver Stradivarius trumpet
played by a Pulitzer Prize winner.

278
00:20:06,507 --> 00:20:07,781
Who blew me?

279
00:20:07,947 --> 00:20:10,336
- Yeah, like I'd know.
- Sorry.

280
00:20:10,547 --> 00:20:11,946
Lose the shoes, and pick again.

281
00:20:12,027 --> 00:20:13,904
You didn't tell me this shit was about music.

282
00:20:13,987 --> 00:20:17,457
- Well, it is Band Camp, moron.
- Hey, to be fair...

283
00:20:17,747 --> 00:20:20,659
maybe we should just give him a head start.

284
00:20:24,067 --> 00:20:25,705
All right. Yeah.

285
00:20:26,867 --> 00:20:28,539
<i>Okay, all right. All right. </i>

286
00:20:30,067 --> 00:20:32,865
What's wrong with you?
Scared to show off the mosquito bites?

287
00:20:32,947 --> 00:20:35,586
I've matured since the fourth grade, Matt.
Have you?

288
00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:38,579
Oh, I've got 10 pounds of dangling maturity
right here, Leesy.

289
00:20:38,667 --> 00:20:41,500
- Quit calling me that.
- Okay, okay, moving on.

290
00:20:42,187 --> 00:20:46,260
- Matt, just pick another question, please.
- All right, screw it. Whatever.

291
00:20:46,867 --> 00:20:48,983
There you go. Suck on that.

292
00:20:50,507 --> 00:20:53,101
- Fourth and Long.
- Sure, no problem.

293
00:20:56,267 --> 00:21:00,579
Of Beethoven's major symphonies,
which has the longest fourth movement?

294
00:21:01,467 --> 00:21:03,264
All right, I see where this is going.

295
00:21:03,347 --> 00:21:05,941
Fine, you win.

296
00:21:06,587 --> 00:21:07,736
(Grunting)

297
00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:11,421
I free ball, ladies.

298
00:21:12,067 --> 00:21:16,106
Got to let the big boys breathe.
All right, we play by my rules now.

299
00:21:16,547 --> 00:21:19,345
Football questions only.
Prepare to strip, ladies.

300
00:21:20,067 --> 00:21:23,537
<i>- Wait. But first, does anybody want a beer?
- I do. </i>

301
00:21:23,987 --> 00:21:28,742
The counselors have a secret stash
in the fridge across the hall.

302
00:21:28,907 --> 00:21:32,616
- Would you mind?
- Now we're talking about a fucking party.

303
00:21:32,707 --> 00:21:34,425
Stiffy'll be back in a jiffy.

304
00:21:34,707 --> 00:21:36,060
(Disagreeing)

305
00:21:36,627 --> 00:21:39,095
I mean, there's nobody around...

306
00:21:39,187 --> 00:21:41,496
and we haven't seen your best side yet.

307
00:21:41,587 --> 00:21:42,576
(Laughing)

308
00:21:47,867 --> 00:21:49,983
(Whispering) Yes! We got him.

309
00:21:51,987 --> 00:21:53,739
So busted.

310
00:22:01,187 --> 00:22:03,621
Man, big boys, wake up.

311
00:22:03,707 --> 00:22:06,096
Just gotta turn down the A.C. In there, huh?

312
00:22:06,187 --> 00:22:07,302
Good night, girls.

313
00:22:14,387 --> 00:22:16,901
Sorry, asshole, game's over.

314
00:22:17,107 --> 00:22:21,339
Yeah, the big boys
will love the long walk home.

315
00:22:22,187 --> 00:22:23,905
Room check, girls.

316
00:22:25,307 --> 00:22:26,376
Oh, shit.

317
00:22:26,707 --> 00:22:28,857
- Ditch his clothes.
- Out the window.

318
00:22:29,587 --> 00:22:31,942
All right, who wants a long neck?

319
00:22:38,547 --> 00:22:40,219
Nurse Sanders.

320
00:22:42,907 --> 00:22:45,296
- They set me up.
- He attacked us with pepper spray...

321
00:22:45,387 --> 00:22:47,981
- and ruined our graduation.
- I went there for a friendly game...

322
00:22:48,067 --> 00:22:49,102
Hold it. Hold it. Kids.

323
00:22:49,187 --> 00:22:51,143
Okay...

324
00:22:51,387 --> 00:22:53,059
where are your clothes?

325
00:22:55,627 --> 00:22:57,026
I have them.

326
00:22:57,627 --> 00:22:59,538
- May I ask why?
- Well, they got me naked...

327
00:22:59,627 --> 00:23:02,744
- Oh, whatever. He took his own pants off...
- And they stole my clothes.

328
00:23:02,827 --> 00:23:05,466
And I got stuck up there
with Mrs. Doubtfire checking out my...

329
00:23:05,547 --> 00:23:07,265
(Horn blaring)

330
00:23:11,387 --> 00:23:13,264
Let me see if I have this straight.

331
00:23:13,427 --> 00:23:17,898
Elyse, you think Matt is an arrogant jock
who wears his penis on his forehead...

332
00:23:17,987 --> 00:23:21,263
just to gain the approval of
his sociopathic brother.

333
00:23:21,347 --> 00:23:25,101
And Matt, you think Elyse
is an uptight, geeky prude...

334
00:23:25,187 --> 00:23:27,826
who needs to loosen up and get laid.

335
00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:30,979
Excuse the expression, dear.
Is that close to being on the money?

336
00:23:32,667 --> 00:23:33,782
Look, kids...

337
00:23:35,187 --> 00:23:37,655
the only way to solve your differences...

338
00:23:38,307 --> 00:23:39,899
is by working together.

339
00:23:41,027 --> 00:23:42,745
So why don't you start tomorrow...

340
00:23:43,147 --> 00:23:46,105
by putting one foot in front of the other?

341
00:23:49,627 --> 00:23:51,345
ELYSE: Left flank hut.

342
00:23:53,707 --> 00:23:55,140
Turn and hut.

343
00:24:02,507 --> 00:24:03,701
What the fuck!

344
00:24:03,787 --> 00:24:04,776
(Elyse whistling)

345
00:24:05,187 --> 00:24:06,939
Band 10 hut!

346
00:24:07,187 --> 00:24:08,176
Holy shit.

347
00:24:08,707 --> 00:24:12,097
When I yell "band 10 hut,"
you snap firmly at attention.

348
00:24:12,187 --> 00:24:15,736
- You want to see me firmly at attention?
- I already have. I wasn't impressed.

349
00:24:16,027 --> 00:24:18,018
(Mocking)

350
00:24:18,547 --> 00:24:19,696
Look...

351
00:24:20,547 --> 00:24:22,424
we've never beaten Beechwood, okay?

352
00:24:23,307 --> 00:24:25,138
For some of us, it's our last shot.

353
00:24:27,827 --> 00:24:29,340
Just stop screwing up, okay?

354
00:24:29,427 --> 00:24:30,780
GIRL: Yeah, asshole.

355
00:24:33,267 --> 00:24:35,417
ELYSE: Okay, people, back to work, let's go.
MATT: Whatever.

356
00:24:35,507 --> 00:24:36,826
I don't need this shit.

357
00:24:36,907 --> 00:24:39,262
Reset the block. Front ranks, right here.

358
00:24:52,667 --> 00:24:53,941
(Imitating female voice) Housekeeping.

359
00:25:14,267 --> 00:25:15,416
(Electronic whirring)

360
00:25:20,267 --> 00:25:22,576
Oscar, brought me something to drink?

361
00:25:22,867 --> 00:25:25,745
- Come on.
- Good looking out, baby.

362
00:25:28,227 --> 00:25:29,899
Hey, it's Ernie Crapowitz.

363
00:25:29,987 --> 00:25:32,979
So you finally came out of the closet.
Good for you.

364
00:25:34,307 --> 00:25:36,741
Look, I want to know
what goes on at night, all right?

365
00:25:36,827 --> 00:25:39,341
All the crazy shit.
Naked pillow fights, whatever.

366
00:25:39,427 --> 00:25:42,783
Do I look like the guy that's in charge of
the naked pillow fights, huh?

367
00:25:42,867 --> 00:25:44,346
It's my first time here.

368
00:25:44,427 --> 00:25:45,576
Notice the beanie?

369
00:25:45,667 --> 00:25:46,736
Yes.

370
00:25:47,667 --> 00:25:49,066
Yes, I do.

371
00:25:49,147 --> 00:25:52,378
Yes, speaking of beanies,
where's yours, Stifler?

372
00:25:52,707 --> 00:25:54,584
You still not following the rules, huh?

373
00:25:54,667 --> 00:25:56,498
- Let's see.
- Look. He's getting in trouble again.

374
00:25:56,587 --> 00:25:59,863
No standard-issue Tall Oaks T-shirt
and no beanie.

375
00:25:59,947 --> 00:26:03,144
I believe that's two points from Great Falls,
Mr. Nelson.

376
00:26:03,387 --> 00:26:05,184
Tell you what, Vande-cramp...

377
00:26:05,507 --> 00:26:08,180
what if I took his beanie...

378
00:26:08,267 --> 00:26:10,906
and put it on my weenie?

379
00:26:10,987 --> 00:26:14,900
How do you like that Vande-cramp?
It's on my head, right?

380
00:26:15,067 --> 00:26:17,217
Make it five points from Great Falls.

381
00:26:17,387 --> 00:26:18,615
Five points.

382
00:26:18,707 --> 00:26:21,744
Man, this place sucks donkey ass.

383
00:26:23,867 --> 00:26:25,220
(Sniffing in disgust)

384
00:26:26,627 --> 00:26:28,299
Put your beanie on, Son.

385
00:26:33,907 --> 00:26:35,784
Five points.

386
00:26:58,187 --> 00:27:00,382
OSCAR: Stay still. Stop moving.

387
00:27:00,467 --> 00:27:02,139
He ain't going nowhere now.

388
00:27:02,227 --> 00:27:05,424
OSCAR: This isn't your world. This is our
world, and we don't want you in it.

389
00:27:05,507 --> 00:27:07,657
You already cost us
five points in the standings.

390
00:27:07,747 --> 00:27:09,465
We can't have that.

391
00:27:09,707 --> 00:27:11,345
Set the man up with his beanie.

392
00:27:13,027 --> 00:27:15,177
(Matt mumbling incoherently)

393
00:27:18,787 --> 00:27:20,618
JIMMY: Now you're representing, fool.

394
00:27:20,707 --> 00:27:21,935
And this toothpaste...

395
00:27:22,027 --> 00:27:24,621
this will make up
for the pepper spray, asshole.

396
00:27:25,667 --> 00:27:26,736
(Gasping in pain)

397
00:27:37,947 --> 00:27:39,426
Oh, shit.

398
00:27:40,107 --> 00:27:42,416
NURSE: I'll get the paint thinner
from maintenance.

399
00:27:43,947 --> 00:27:45,266
Animals.

400
00:27:55,307 --> 00:27:59,266
Matt, you were sent here...

401
00:27:59,667 --> 00:28:01,066
to make a change.

402
00:28:01,227 --> 00:28:04,822
And, so far, you've only had
your sinuses sanitized. So...

403
00:28:05,187 --> 00:28:07,496
I think it's time to try a new approach.

404
00:28:07,947 --> 00:28:09,665
Make some friends.

405
00:28:11,347 --> 00:28:13,099
Earn their trust.

406
00:28:15,267 --> 00:28:17,462
Why would I want to earn their trust?

407
00:28:20,587 --> 00:28:22,066
Good.

408
00:28:22,747 --> 00:28:23,941
(Electronic beeping)

409
00:28:26,027 --> 00:28:28,018
Welcome to Stifler-vision.

410
00:28:28,107 --> 00:28:30,496
<i>SHEREE: I think there's
a cymbal class at 1:00.</i>

411
00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:31,816
<i>DANI: I hate that. </i>

412
00:28:31,907 --> 00:28:34,023
<i>SHEREE: Yeah, but it's better than
the bass drum relay. </i>

413
00:28:34,107 --> 00:28:35,301
<i>DANI: Yeah, that's true. </i>

414
00:28:39,667 --> 00:28:41,783
<i>Yours look totally fantastic. </i>

415
00:28:41,867 --> 00:28:44,984
<i>SHEREE: Two for the price of one.
DANI: My left one's bigger, see?</i>

416
00:28:45,067 --> 00:28:47,865
<i>MATT: Yeah, mine, too, baby.
SHEREE: They can totally fix that. </i>

417
00:28:47,947 --> 00:28:49,619
<i>MATT: No!
SHEREE: Want to see?</i>

418
00:28:49,707 --> 00:28:52,175
<i>SHEREE: I used to be...
MATT: Lens fog. No!</i>

419
00:28:52,307 --> 00:28:54,298
(Electronic whirring)

420
00:29:03,027 --> 00:29:06,736
MATT: What is that thing, butt weasel?
ERNIE: Yeah, it's the KR3, baby.

421
00:29:06,827 --> 00:29:10,342
The Kaplowitz Remote Robotic Rover.
And you are so busted.

422
00:29:10,427 --> 00:29:13,863
- Hey, Oscar, somebody call the Macro.
- Dude, please, shut up.

423
00:29:13,947 --> 00:29:17,542
Pull your panties out of your ass.
I can help you with that chick.

424
00:29:21,187 --> 00:29:22,222
What chick?

425
00:29:22,307 --> 00:29:24,696
Dude, the one with all the tattoos.
The Tubanator.

426
00:29:24,787 --> 00:29:26,186
Her name is Chloe.

427
00:29:26,787 --> 00:29:30,018
Come on, man. I can help.
I'm the Stiffmeister.

428
00:29:30,107 --> 00:29:32,780
- Master of love and romance.
- Bullshit.

429
00:29:32,947 --> 00:29:37,225
I nailed three cheerleaders in one week
on spring break. College cheerleaders.

430
00:29:43,267 --> 00:29:44,666
(Electronic beeping)

431
00:29:47,307 --> 00:29:49,696
And I know why your camera spritzed out.

432
00:29:52,307 --> 00:29:54,184
Dude, this thing is awesome.

433
00:29:54,747 --> 00:29:57,705
- You ever use this to look up chicks' skirts?
- No.

434
00:29:57,787 --> 00:30:00,062
But I did use it to win
the State Science Fair last year.

435
00:30:00,147 --> 00:30:02,342
And I'm hoping it gets me into MIT next fall.

436
00:30:02,427 --> 00:30:04,383
I really want to work for NASA.

437
00:30:04,587 --> 00:30:06,976
National Anal Sex Association?

438
00:30:07,187 --> 00:30:08,859
No it's Space...

439
00:30:09,627 --> 00:30:14,098
- There's an Anal Sex Association?
- Oh, yeah, but you've got to be a pro.

440
00:30:15,627 --> 00:30:17,697
Wait, there's a Space Association?

441
00:30:19,187 --> 00:30:21,064
You were supposed to use this.

442
00:30:22,307 --> 00:30:26,346
- See, it's got an anti-fog lens. Duh.
- Yeah, good.

443
00:30:27,387 --> 00:30:32,063
- Can the robot record?
- All right, so, what are your intentions?

444
00:30:33,467 --> 00:30:35,856
With the video, I mean. What are you doing?

445
00:30:35,947 --> 00:30:37,426
Oh, it's just for fun.

446
00:30:37,707 --> 00:30:41,017
I mean, who doesn't like to look
at hot naked chicks, right?

447
00:30:42,427 --> 00:30:44,895
Keep it between us, and I'll let you watch.

448
00:30:45,187 --> 00:30:48,657
Plus, I'll have you giving Chloe
the pelvic noogie inside a week.

449
00:30:48,747 --> 00:30:49,782
(Knock on door)

450
00:30:49,867 --> 00:30:51,778
BOY: Hey, Stifler. Phone.

451
00:30:51,947 --> 00:30:53,699
<i>ANDY: We're in Detroit!</i>

452
00:30:54,307 --> 00:30:56,901
Locked into sweet Brazilian rum.

453
00:30:56,987 --> 00:30:59,626
I'm fucking fubar, man!

454
00:30:59,707 --> 00:31:03,859
I sent you rum today.
Could come in handy in Dorksville.

455
00:31:03,947 --> 00:31:05,539
This place blows.

456
00:31:06,707 --> 00:31:08,345
Hey, my roommate, Dr. Robot...

457
00:31:08,427 --> 00:31:10,497
<i>busted me taping some college chicks
in the shower. </i>

458
00:31:10,587 --> 00:31:12,623
So now I have to be all nice to him and shit.

459
00:31:12,707 --> 00:31:15,938
And I'm not getting any good footage
'cause these fucking bandees hate me.

460
00:31:17,587 --> 00:31:19,703
Think of it
like trying to hook up with a virgin.

461
00:31:19,787 --> 00:31:23,223
<i>Act like you give a shit about them
until they bring you into the good stuff. </i>

462
00:31:23,307 --> 00:31:25,104
Earn their trust?

463
00:31:25,707 --> 00:31:27,584
Dude, that could work.

464
00:31:27,707 --> 00:31:30,141
I'll be an undercover bandee fucker.

465
00:31:31,027 --> 00:31:34,383
Hello, everyone.
Isn't it a peachy day here at Band Camp?

466
00:31:34,587 --> 00:31:38,296
Band buds. How's it going? Yo.

467
00:31:39,027 --> 00:31:42,815
Hey, I just want to say thanks
for the little wakeup call. You kidders.

468
00:31:43,907 --> 00:31:46,865
Hey, I can finally hear
the music calling me, okay?

469
00:31:46,987 --> 00:31:47,976
(Band practicing)

470
00:31:48,067 --> 00:31:50,786
There. Hear it? Yeah. Me, too.

471
00:31:51,027 --> 00:31:55,498
So I'm a totally new man, and... By the way,
you both look great in pantyhose.

472
00:32:05,467 --> 00:32:08,618
- What are you doing?
- Awaiting my marching lesson, ma'am.

473
00:32:08,707 --> 00:32:11,062
Look, Matt, I really don't have time for this
right now.

474
00:32:11,147 --> 00:32:14,537
No, look, I figure I'm here,
I might as well make the best of it.

475
00:32:14,627 --> 00:32:17,903
Matt, marching's hard, okay?
It's not like throwing some football.

476
00:32:17,987 --> 00:32:21,502
- Oh, you ever thrown into double coverage?
- You ever high-stepped in double time?

477
00:32:21,587 --> 00:32:24,943
Yes, ma'am, the time the cops chased us
across Koreno's Creek.

478
00:32:25,547 --> 00:32:28,300
And you got so scared, you cried.

479
00:32:29,027 --> 00:32:32,940
- I had allergies.
- It was winter, Mattie.

480
00:32:33,907 --> 00:32:37,217
Well, if you don't teach me to march,
I might just cry again.

481
00:32:40,667 --> 00:32:41,782
Fine.

482
00:32:42,067 --> 00:32:45,946
Left foot on one and three,
right foot on two and four.

483
00:32:46,027 --> 00:32:47,506
You have to do math?

484
00:32:55,747 --> 00:32:59,501
One, two, three, middle.
One, two, three, line.

485
00:32:59,587 --> 00:33:01,703
Right foot on four.

486
00:33:03,867 --> 00:33:06,301
- Keep your step size even.
- My what?

487
00:33:07,787 --> 00:33:11,177
<i>All right, there we go, little buddy.
I'm gonna fix you up good. </i>

488
00:33:12,587 --> 00:33:17,217
<i>Any girl that knows how to play a tuba,
she can do things. That's what Stifler says. </i>

489
00:33:17,307 --> 00:33:19,821
<i>I don't know what it means,
but it's got to be good. </i>

490
00:33:19,907 --> 00:33:21,101
<i>You're good to go. </i>

491
00:33:21,187 --> 00:33:22,666
Let's go find Chloe.

492
00:33:34,947 --> 00:33:36,096
Holy shit.

493
00:33:37,307 --> 00:33:40,458
What the hell? Who's doing this?

494
00:33:42,707 --> 00:33:43,776
Take it.

495
00:33:43,867 --> 00:33:44,902
<i>It's okay. </i>

496
00:33:54,187 --> 00:33:57,657
<i>- Thanks, little creepy machine.
- You're welcome...</i>

497
00:33:58,027 --> 00:33:59,665
<i>beautiful lady. </i>

498
00:34:14,347 --> 00:34:18,465
With my right, with my right,
but I can also do it with my left, with my left.

499
00:34:21,827 --> 00:34:22,862
Bootie.

500
00:34:24,227 --> 00:34:25,296
Good game.

501
00:34:31,267 --> 00:34:33,019
You just touched my bootie.

502
00:34:39,787 --> 00:34:42,096
- What's that?
- Your instrument.

503
00:34:42,547 --> 00:34:44,265
That's fucking gay.

504
00:34:45,267 --> 00:34:47,303
- I mean lame.
- Good.

505
00:34:48,067 --> 00:34:50,820
Now, there are two positions.

506
00:34:51,427 --> 00:34:55,420
Carrying position, like this,
and playing position, like this.

507
00:34:55,587 --> 00:34:57,225
Now when I call, "horns up"...

508
00:34:57,307 --> 00:34:59,298
you're gonna move your instrument out,
and then...

509
00:34:59,387 --> 00:35:00,979
Hello, losers.

510
00:35:01,147 --> 00:35:04,776
Matt. Oh, my God. Matt, I am so sorry.

511
00:35:04,867 --> 00:35:07,017
- I think I bit a hole in my tongue.
- Oh, let me see.

512
00:35:07,107 --> 00:35:09,541
ELYSE: No, no hole.
BRANDON: On today's...

513
00:35:09,627 --> 00:35:12,824
episode wasting time on lost causes.

514
00:35:13,507 --> 00:35:17,466
Speaking of which, I understand you
composed the music to your show, Elyse...

515
00:35:17,547 --> 00:35:19,105
if you call that music.

516
00:35:19,187 --> 00:35:21,542
Yeah. That's right. I did.

517
00:35:21,627 --> 00:35:23,743
And who'd your daddy hire
to compose yours?

518
00:35:23,827 --> 00:35:28,582
I'm just giving you fair warning, cupcake.
Robards Scholarship is mine.

519
00:35:29,067 --> 00:35:30,420
Like you need it.

520
00:35:30,707 --> 00:35:33,585
It's not a matter of need.
It's a matter of want.

521
00:35:33,867 --> 00:35:37,143
- Yeah, I get what I want.
- (LISPING) Why don't you shut the fuck up?

522
00:35:37,227 --> 00:35:38,421
Matt, don't.

523
00:35:39,427 --> 00:35:42,100
- What are you going to do?
- (LISPING) Kick your ass.

524
00:35:42,267 --> 00:35:43,985
- Are you challenging me?
- No.

525
00:35:44,067 --> 00:35:47,298
- (LISPING) Yeah, what if I am?
- No, Brandon, that is not what he's doing.

526
00:35:47,387 --> 00:35:50,106
I accept. Amphitheatre, 5:00.

527
00:35:50,467 --> 00:35:53,220
It's been three years
since I've been challenged.

528
00:35:53,467 --> 00:35:55,264
We got a challenge.

529
00:35:55,347 --> 00:35:56,336
(Cheering)

530
00:35:57,867 --> 00:36:00,176
I look forward to reminding people why.

531
00:36:00,947 --> 00:36:02,380
East Great Falls.

532
00:36:02,667 --> 00:36:04,703
(LISPING) I'll see you there, asshole.

533
00:36:06,507 --> 00:36:10,182
- Do you know what you just did?
- (LISPING) Doesn't matter. He's going down.

534
00:36:10,267 --> 00:36:12,827
Matt, you challenged him to a duel.

535
00:36:13,107 --> 00:36:14,256
(LISPING) With swords?

536
00:36:14,867 --> 00:36:18,542
No, you idiot.
You each get on stage and perform.

537
00:36:18,627 --> 00:36:20,583
And the crowd decides who wins.

538
00:36:21,067 --> 00:36:22,898
(LISPING) Can't we just do keg stands?

539
00:36:23,467 --> 00:36:27,699
Matt, this is serious, okay?
Beechwood gets five points if he wins...

540
00:36:27,787 --> 00:36:30,938
which, you know, he will
because he plays an instrument.

541
00:36:31,147 --> 00:36:32,865
Well, so do I.

542
00:36:33,387 --> 00:36:36,060
<i>NELSON: Let the Tall Oaks
Battle Royale begin. </i>

543
00:36:36,627 --> 00:36:39,380
<i>The prize is five points towards the cup. </i>

544
00:36:40,267 --> 00:36:42,178
Okay, Brandon, you're up first.

545
00:37:01,267 --> 00:37:02,256
(Applause)

546
00:37:24,347 --> 00:37:25,575
GIRL 1: Come on!

547
00:37:27,827 --> 00:37:30,261
Suck on that, bitch.

548
00:37:31,267 --> 00:37:32,495
GIRL 2: Lame.

549
00:37:33,227 --> 00:37:34,740
This is so embarrassing.

550
00:37:34,827 --> 00:37:36,021
<i>NELSON: Okay, Brandon. </i>

551
00:37:36,107 --> 00:37:37,665
GIRL 3: Now you show him, Brandon.

552
00:37:54,867 --> 00:37:56,016
Take that!

553
00:38:07,187 --> 00:38:09,860
<i>Well, seems this contest is over. </i>

554
00:38:10,507 --> 00:38:12,782
Figures. We just lost five points.

555
00:38:15,307 --> 00:38:18,185
<i>And the winner by forfeit is... </i>

556
00:38:18,267 --> 00:38:19,256
(Bagpipes playing)

557
00:38:20,587 --> 00:38:22,179
But I know it's not his fault...

558
00:38:24,587 --> 00:38:27,147
(Play That Funky Music White Boy
by Wild Cherry)

559
00:38:44,467 --> 00:38:46,139
You don't know the words.

560
00:38:56,827 --> 00:38:58,260
(Cheering)

561
00:39:07,027 --> 00:39:08,540
He should shave that.

562
00:39:11,267 --> 00:39:12,859
East Great Falls!

563
00:39:13,427 --> 00:39:15,179
East Great Falls!

564
00:39:15,467 --> 00:39:17,298
East Great Falls!

565
00:39:17,947 --> 00:39:19,505
East Great Falls!

566
00:39:22,547 --> 00:39:25,015
<i>Okay, five points to Great Falls. </i>

567
00:39:26,827 --> 00:39:28,738
All right, Great Falls!

568
00:39:31,027 --> 00:39:33,097
East Great Falls!

569
00:39:35,507 --> 00:39:36,337
East Great Falls!

570
00:39:37,347 --> 00:39:39,383
East Great Falls!

571
00:39:39,467 --> 00:39:41,378
East Great Falls!

572
00:39:42,907 --> 00:39:44,545
Hey, hey...

573
00:39:44,627 --> 00:39:46,618
- Hey.
- What?

574
00:39:46,707 --> 00:39:49,175
- Are you really Scottish?
- Fuck, no.

575
00:39:50,147 --> 00:39:51,466
My mum made me learn an instrument.

576
00:39:51,547 --> 00:39:53,344
That's the most annoying one
I could think of.

577
00:39:53,427 --> 00:39:57,056
I think you were just born
to squeeze sacks and blow pipes, Stifler.

578
00:39:57,267 --> 00:39:58,541
Hey, Oscar.

579
00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:05,627
How many other Oscars
do you know? Go!

580
00:40:07,907 --> 00:40:10,216
- What's up?
- Your drum line sounds pretty tight.

581
00:40:10,307 --> 00:40:11,342
Oh, thanks.

582
00:40:11,427 --> 00:40:13,383
You let me know
if you want to learn some new moves.

583
00:40:13,587 --> 00:40:14,656
Really?

584
00:40:14,747 --> 00:40:17,341
- He's gonna screw it up.
- He's definitely gonna screw it up.

585
00:40:18,827 --> 00:40:22,900
- Thanks for winning those points back.
- I lost them. I had to get them back.

586
00:40:23,707 --> 00:40:26,665
Hey, guys,
Sheree's gonna show me some moves.

587
00:40:27,187 --> 00:40:28,222
<i>MACRO: Hey, gang... </i>

588
00:40:28,307 --> 00:40:32,505
just a little reminder that as the battle
for the cup heats up, let's try to remember...

589
00:40:33,667 --> 00:40:37,057
<i>to keep up that Tall Oaks spirit of fair play
and friendly competition. </i>

590
00:40:37,827 --> 00:40:40,102
We'll have enough spit for a six-pack.

591
00:40:43,227 --> 00:40:46,060
- Yeah, baby, you did me proud, son.
- Thanks, J. Lo.

592
00:40:46,147 --> 00:40:47,546
It's cool. Big O?

593
00:40:47,907 --> 00:40:50,785
Quite a little show you put on
yesterday, Stifler.

594
00:40:50,947 --> 00:40:53,666
You know,
these plebes think you're some kind of hero.

595
00:40:53,747 --> 00:40:55,897
I don't know what a plebe is, Vande-creep.

596
00:40:55,987 --> 00:40:59,059
Didn't anybody tell you not to mess
with the big dog while he's eating?

597
00:40:59,147 --> 00:41:01,786
RIGGLER: It's mine, jerk-wad.
Now will you give it back?

598
00:41:03,187 --> 00:41:06,304
- Dildos.
- This is still my camp, asshole.

599
00:41:06,547 --> 00:41:08,981
- You're going down.
- No, I'm not.

600
00:41:09,067 --> 00:41:10,136
But your mum did last night.

601
00:41:10,227 --> 00:41:13,424
Did she play the trumpet?
Because she has really strong lips.

602
00:41:13,667 --> 00:41:14,895
That's right.

603
00:41:29,947 --> 00:41:31,062
Yummy.

604
00:41:34,667 --> 00:41:36,578
That's what I'm talking about.

605
00:41:37,707 --> 00:41:40,540
- What happened this time, Claire?
- Well, I was working on my solo...

606
00:41:40,627 --> 00:41:42,026
and I hurt myself.

607
00:41:42,867 --> 00:41:44,619
I've been fucking poisoned.

608
00:41:45,867 --> 00:41:48,461
Ipecac is a natural herbal extract...

609
00:41:48,547 --> 00:41:51,459
that triggers the regurgitation reflex.

610
00:41:55,627 --> 00:41:58,221
Whatever's in there
should be out soon enough.

611
00:41:58,507 --> 00:42:00,179
Like him, if we're lucky.

612
00:42:02,107 --> 00:42:05,577
Well, I'm pretty sure
it's probably just something...

613
00:42:05,907 --> 00:42:10,105
you had for lunch, you know? I've got
the same problem. Very sensitive stomach.

614
00:42:10,707 --> 00:42:13,983
I was at a banquet once.
On the same plate, if you can believe it...

615
00:42:14,067 --> 00:42:19,061
they had creamed venison, squid fritters,
and jellied pork.

616
00:42:23,147 --> 00:42:24,341
(Matt regurgitating)

617
00:42:24,467 --> 00:42:25,536
What?

618
00:42:29,147 --> 00:42:30,136
(Matt regurgitating)

619
00:42:36,307 --> 00:42:38,901
- Hey, what's up, crust bucket?
- Come here, dude. Check this out.

620
00:42:38,987 --> 00:42:42,502
So, this afternoon, while the counselors
were practicing for the talent show...

621
00:42:42,587 --> 00:42:45,055
I faked an asthma attack,
and I changed both of the cameras.

622
00:42:45,147 --> 00:42:47,707
<i>It's their talent show routine, au naturel. </i>

623
00:42:48,067 --> 00:42:50,661
Dude, you filthy little cyberfucker. Shit.

624
00:42:51,467 --> 00:42:55,779
- Hey, I thought we were just going to watch.
- Exactly, we may want to watch it again.

625
00:43:00,867 --> 00:43:05,543
Hey, so, I took your advice about Chloe.
I used the Rover to deliver a soda.

626
00:43:06,107 --> 00:43:09,782
- That was your cool, crazy idea?
- Yeah, I think she actually liked it.

627
00:43:09,867 --> 00:43:12,779
- Yeah, that sounds gay.
- It's not gay.

628
00:43:14,267 --> 00:43:17,020
Anyway, there's
this bonfire-slushee party tonight...

629
00:43:17,107 --> 00:43:20,224
and I really need to know Step Two
in the Stiffmeister plan.

630
00:43:20,307 --> 00:43:23,743
Slushee party. Really.

631
00:43:24,067 --> 00:43:25,580
Special delivery.

632
00:43:25,707 --> 00:43:27,379
Prepare to jam with the bearded clam.

633
00:43:28,587 --> 00:43:30,100
Get ready to cuddle the love puddle.

634
00:43:30,187 --> 00:43:33,384
The time has come for Dr. Robot to get laid.

635
00:43:33,587 --> 00:43:34,622
Get laid?

636
00:43:34,787 --> 00:43:37,347
I told you, trust the Stiffmeister.

637
00:43:37,587 --> 00:43:40,226
<i>Meister means "master" in German.</i>

638
00:43:41,107 --> 00:43:45,259
Get her drunk? That's the secret
of the ages? That's Step Number Two?

639
00:43:45,347 --> 00:43:50,102
No, actually, it's Step Four. You don't have
the balls for Two or the tongue for Three.

640
00:43:50,267 --> 00:43:51,700
I've got the balls.

641
00:43:52,227 --> 00:43:54,661
Hey, you haven't heard Step Five yet.

642
00:43:58,307 --> 00:44:01,822
<i>(Singing) Born to be wild</i>

643
00:44:05,347 --> 00:44:08,862
<i>Well, I'm hot blooded
Check it and see</i>

644
00:44:09,227 --> 00:44:12,856
<i>I've got a fever of 103</i>

645
00:44:12,947 --> 00:44:15,620
<i>Come on baby
Do you do more than dance?</i>

646
00:44:17,347 --> 00:44:20,020
- This is some good shit.
- Don't enjoy it too much.

647
00:44:20,107 --> 00:44:23,417
- We have a big practice tomorrow, you guys.
- Relax, Leesy.

648
00:44:23,827 --> 00:44:26,899
Suckle the tender fruits
of Band Camp with your friends.

649
00:44:27,027 --> 00:44:30,656
Come on, Elyse. Cut loose a little bit.
Have some fun.

650
00:44:30,747 --> 00:44:32,021
I am having fun.

651
00:44:32,107 --> 00:44:34,985
Hey, horn dog, let's go get
some more of these before they run out.

652
00:44:35,067 --> 00:44:37,376
- All right.
- Horn dog?

653
00:44:37,467 --> 00:44:41,824
Yeah, it's his nickname. Dude will stick
his dick into anything. It's unnatural.

654
00:44:42,787 --> 00:44:46,496
Check it, dawg. This one time
at Band Camp, I fucked an oboe.

655
00:44:47,507 --> 00:44:49,782
- Really?
- Blow in it for a while...

656
00:44:49,867 --> 00:44:54,304
get that wood nice and warm,
slap on some valve oil and go to town, yo.

657
00:44:54,507 --> 00:44:56,577
Hey, maybe you should try a flute.

658
00:45:01,027 --> 00:45:03,416
Now's a good time
to teach you those moves.

659
00:45:03,507 --> 00:45:04,496
Really?

660
00:45:09,907 --> 00:45:11,022
What?

661
00:45:23,507 --> 00:45:24,826
(Sucking loudly)

662
00:45:24,907 --> 00:45:26,226
I know what you're doing.

663
00:45:26,307 --> 00:45:30,266
- You do?
- It's what you always do. You're a fake.

664
00:45:30,507 --> 00:45:33,499
You do whatever it takes
to be the centre of attention.

665
00:45:33,587 --> 00:45:37,296
Just like when we were kids,
around me, you were regular old Matt...

666
00:45:37,627 --> 00:45:40,858
but around Steve and his friends,
you were the Stiffmeister.

667
00:45:41,947 --> 00:45:43,539
Who're you going to be tonight?

668
00:45:43,627 --> 00:45:45,185
Hey, cheese dick...

669
00:45:45,267 --> 00:45:49,545
why don't you quit being such a fucking
taint licker, and get me another slushee.

670
00:45:49,627 --> 00:45:51,504
Fucking puss monkey.

671
00:45:59,027 --> 00:46:01,495
You know what?
I am going to have some fun.

672
00:46:09,187 --> 00:46:12,179
Fucking hoes, man. I don't get that shit.

673
00:46:12,267 --> 00:46:16,021
I mean, right now, Oscar's off in the woods
tapping that counselor biatch, Sheree.

674
00:46:16,107 --> 00:46:18,780
- What's up with that?
- That cock spring is getting laid?

675
00:46:18,867 --> 00:46:21,745
True that. And here we are,
the two dopest homeboys in camp...

676
00:46:21,827 --> 00:46:25,945
and we ain't got no prospects
for our palm pilots. That's fucked up, dawg.

677
00:46:26,307 --> 00:46:28,263
Dude, I gotta see this.

678
00:46:29,707 --> 00:46:31,140
(Oscar giggling)

679
00:46:31,747 --> 00:46:33,578
SHEREE: Use your hips more.
OSCAR: Hips, like that?

680
00:46:33,667 --> 00:46:37,421
SHEREE: Yeah, now faster. Yeah. Like that.
A circle. Like that.

681
00:46:37,507 --> 00:46:41,500
(Using Australian accent) Crikey! The
alpha female has chosen an unlikely mate.

682
00:46:41,587 --> 00:46:44,101
Will he survive this dangerous encounter...

683
00:46:44,347 --> 00:46:48,579
or will she satisfy her primal needs
and then devour him for dinner?

684
00:46:48,867 --> 00:46:50,425
Stay tuned.

685
00:46:50,827 --> 00:46:54,536
OSCAR: I'm sorry. I'm really no good
at this stuff.

686
00:46:54,627 --> 00:46:56,618
Relax. You're doing fine.

687
00:46:59,867 --> 00:47:01,300
This sucks.

688
00:47:01,627 --> 00:47:04,061
How's that feel? Oscar.

689
00:47:04,627 --> 00:47:06,697
Is that your drumstick poking me?

690
00:47:07,827 --> 00:47:09,704
I don't have my drumsticks.

691
00:47:09,787 --> 00:47:12,460
Are you standing up for me again, Oscar?

692
00:47:12,987 --> 00:47:14,625
It's getting hot.

693
00:47:14,907 --> 00:47:17,705
Smack my ass and call me cowboy.

694
00:47:18,467 --> 00:47:20,583
Hello, Double-D Sheree.

695
00:47:21,027 --> 00:47:22,699
<i>Hips. Hips. </i>

696
00:47:22,947 --> 00:47:24,539
- Use your hips.
- Oh, yeah, hips.

697
00:47:24,627 --> 00:47:26,379
And step, and...

698
00:47:29,467 --> 00:47:30,536
Who knew?

699
00:47:31,547 --> 00:47:32,866
Wow.

700
00:47:35,707 --> 00:47:38,016
<i>(Singing) Yo, we at Tall Oaks
Sipping on juice</i>

701
00:47:38,107 --> 00:47:40,302
<i>Got horns, trumpets
Rhythm and flutes</i>

702
00:47:40,387 --> 00:47:42,617
<i>Great Falls laying it down</i>

703
00:47:42,707 --> 00:47:45,141
<i>Gonna ride fucking Beechwood
out of the town</i>

704
00:47:45,227 --> 00:47:47,502
<i>J.C., what, rocking the bunch</i>

705
00:47:47,587 --> 00:47:50,545
<i>All tripped out on the fucking fruit punch</i>

706
00:47:53,827 --> 00:47:57,058
<i>- I just want to be respectful.
- Oh, that's sweet. </i>

707
00:47:57,307 --> 00:47:59,741
The only person who's gonna get laid
around here.

708
00:48:01,387 --> 00:48:02,740
(Oboe playing)

709
00:48:08,547 --> 00:48:10,503
Hello, oboe.

710
00:48:26,707 --> 00:48:28,379
This is so cool.

711
00:48:29,867 --> 00:48:34,019
I hope I didn't scare you
with the Rover and the soda.

712
00:48:34,147 --> 00:48:36,217
No, man, it was cute.

713
00:48:36,907 --> 00:48:40,343
Nobody's ever been that sweet to me
in my whole life.

714
00:48:40,907 --> 00:48:42,420
Plus, to be honest...

715
00:48:42,827 --> 00:48:45,819
metal really turns me on.

716
00:49:08,587 --> 00:49:11,420
(Moaning)

717
00:49:11,507 --> 00:49:13,577
Man, the shit's stuck.

718
00:49:24,747 --> 00:49:26,180
(Discordant oboe playing)

719
00:49:37,107 --> 00:49:39,462
- Turn off the lights.
- Damn, gangsta.

720
00:49:39,587 --> 00:49:42,147
- I was just fucking with you, dawg!
- You... It's stuck.

721
00:49:42,227 --> 00:49:44,536
- Shit, you want help?
- Don't touch me.

722
00:49:46,027 --> 00:49:47,062
Come on.

723
00:49:47,787 --> 00:49:49,300
JIMMY: Maybe you should blow on it.

724
00:49:49,387 --> 00:49:51,025
MATT: Maybe you should blow on it
and I'll pull.

725
00:49:51,107 --> 00:49:53,177
JIMMY: Hell, no. Jimmy ain't putting his lips
on that thing.

726
00:49:53,267 --> 00:49:54,666
MATT: Jimmy should be a team player.

727
00:49:54,747 --> 00:49:56,897
JIMMY: Try and relax, dawg.
MATT: Not so hard.

728
00:49:56,987 --> 00:49:58,500
Oh, my God!

729
00:50:05,187 --> 00:50:08,543
- I was just trying to help him get it off, yo.
- Dude, shut up.

730
00:50:08,627 --> 00:50:09,696
Whatever.

731
00:50:09,787 --> 00:50:11,743
He had an allergic reaction to the valve oil.

732
00:50:11,827 --> 00:50:14,387
The swelling should go down
in a few minutes.

733
00:50:14,627 --> 00:50:18,586
These kinds of things would never happen
with our old Macro.

734
00:50:38,747 --> 00:50:41,466
We didn't have MTV when I was growing up.

735
00:50:42,747 --> 00:50:45,215
So maybe it's the over-stimulated times...

736
00:50:45,307 --> 00:50:49,266
that we live in
that causes young men to stick their...

737
00:50:49,947 --> 00:50:52,700
instruments in such odd places.

738
00:50:54,547 --> 00:50:56,060
I knew a certain young man once...

739
00:50:56,147 --> 00:50:59,298
who actually engaged in sexual congress
with an apple pie.

740
00:50:59,467 --> 00:51:01,264
And he turned out just fine.

741
00:51:01,787 --> 00:51:04,585
So, you're perfectly normal...

742
00:51:05,667 --> 00:51:07,180
as these things go.

743
00:51:14,627 --> 00:51:15,946
(Sighing in relief)

744
00:51:24,787 --> 00:51:27,779
- Are you okay?
- Oh, yeah.

745
00:51:27,867 --> 00:51:32,179
I'm so drunk right now.
I'm probably going to forget about you...

746
00:51:33,587 --> 00:51:35,578
porking an oboe.

747
00:51:44,307 --> 00:51:45,979
I have six piercings.

748
00:51:47,387 --> 00:51:49,821
That doesn't include the ones on my face.

749
00:52:02,787 --> 00:52:04,140
Two right here...

750
00:52:06,427 --> 00:52:09,339
and four down here.

751
00:52:20,587 --> 00:52:22,464
Haven't seen that in a while.

752
00:52:22,827 --> 00:52:27,662
Yeah, well, no time for dance.
It's all about band, band, band.

753
00:52:27,747 --> 00:52:29,658
No, I was talking about you having fun.

754
00:52:29,747 --> 00:52:33,137
- I have fun. I have fun all the time.
- Yeah.

755
00:52:33,227 --> 00:52:35,821
I just get stressed out, you know. I mean...

756
00:52:36,467 --> 00:52:38,583
we graduate next year, and I don't know.

757
00:52:38,667 --> 00:52:40,623
I mean, I don't really talk about it
all that much...

758
00:52:40,707 --> 00:52:43,540
because the cup is, like,
a team thing, and...

759
00:52:43,627 --> 00:52:46,619
But winning the Robards Scholarship,
I mean, that is like...

760
00:52:46,707 --> 00:52:48,345
my future, you know? And...

761
00:52:49,267 --> 00:52:51,986
Dr. Choi is coming. I mean...

762
00:52:52,147 --> 00:52:55,457
you don't understand. She's like famous...

763
00:52:55,907 --> 00:52:58,785
like holy-shit famous.
And, sometimes, I just...

764
00:52:59,787 --> 00:53:01,425
I get really stressed out...

765
00:53:01,507 --> 00:53:05,182
and I calm myself down
by going off and playing on my Picardo.

766
00:53:05,867 --> 00:53:08,461
Wait, you have... Picardo?

767
00:53:08,627 --> 00:53:11,095
It's just a cheapie, but I lost it.

768
00:53:11,427 --> 00:53:14,499
- Wait, if I somehow found this Picard thing...
- You found it?

769
00:53:14,747 --> 00:53:16,578
- Maybe.
- Give it back.

770
00:53:16,867 --> 00:53:18,346
If you let me watch.

771
00:53:19,267 --> 00:53:22,179
Okay, but it takes me a while to warm up.

772
00:53:22,267 --> 00:53:24,622
I have all the time in the world.

773
00:53:27,107 --> 00:53:28,142
Figures.

774
00:53:29,947 --> 00:53:32,415
But I'm going to have to be really drunk.

775
00:53:33,267 --> 00:53:36,464
I mean really drunk. Really drunk.

776
00:53:37,347 --> 00:53:38,336
Yes.

777
00:53:38,907 --> 00:53:40,340
GIRL: Beat it, jerk off.

778
00:53:58,667 --> 00:54:00,897
<i>ELYSE: Okay, people, let's take a break. </i>

779
00:54:04,187 --> 00:54:06,223
<i>We're all a little sluggish today. </i>

780
00:54:07,947 --> 00:54:09,505
Man, we suck.

781
00:54:09,587 --> 00:54:12,977
Man, one night of fun was not worth
losing a whole day of practice.

782
00:54:16,547 --> 00:54:17,980
Give me this thing.

783
00:54:18,747 --> 00:54:21,215
<i>All right, listen up,
you lazy bunch of lip shits. </i>

784
00:54:21,307 --> 00:54:23,184
<i>Those Beechwood plebes
aren't taking breaks. </i>

785
00:54:23,267 --> 00:54:26,065
<i>We want to win this thing,
we've gotta bust our asses. </i>

786
00:54:26,387 --> 00:54:28,423
<i>Come on, bitches. Back to work. </i>

787
00:54:28,507 --> 00:54:31,180
<i>- Matt, that's my job.
- Grab your cocks and move your socks. </i>

788
00:54:31,267 --> 00:54:33,303
<i>We're at war here, people, war!</i>

789
00:54:33,387 --> 00:54:36,618
<i>Show some tits. Grow some balls.
Hey, keep that thing warm for me. </i>

790
00:54:36,707 --> 00:54:40,666
<i>All right, now. What, you want to let
Beechwood tittie-fuck us? I didn't think so. </i>

791
00:54:40,747 --> 00:54:42,021
<i>MACRO: All right, Tall Oakers... </i>

792
00:54:42,107 --> 00:54:45,019
<i>we're in our final week.
Time to put on our game faces. </i>

793
00:54:45,107 --> 00:54:48,144
<i>And time to strap yourselves in
for a bumpy ride. </i>

794
00:54:48,227 --> 00:54:50,104
I want the oboe, clarinet, black thingies...

795
00:54:50,187 --> 00:54:52,860
and we've got the rhythm section
in a full-on blitz.

796
00:54:52,947 --> 00:54:55,017
- Are you with me, bandees?
- Yeah!

797
00:54:55,107 --> 00:54:57,780
<i>MACRO: Competition for the Tall Oaks Cup
is really heating up. </i>

798
00:55:01,307 --> 00:55:02,740
<i>Beechwood wins. </i>

799
00:55:04,867 --> 00:55:05,856
Whatever.

800
00:55:05,947 --> 00:55:07,221
I told you, you should let me steer.

801
00:55:07,307 --> 00:55:08,899
BOY: Take that bitch home, man.

802
00:55:09,267 --> 00:55:13,465
Drive it in. Hey, you, fuck face,
I don't even know where to start with you.

803
00:55:20,027 --> 00:55:23,497
<i>MACRO: Beechwood leads.
Great Falls and Lloyd are tied for second. </i>

804
00:55:23,587 --> 00:55:25,578
Beechwood licks nuts. Hut!

805
00:55:33,787 --> 00:55:35,937
<i>MACRO: Victory, East Great Falls. </i>

806
00:55:39,187 --> 00:55:41,223
Right foot on line.

807
00:55:42,907 --> 00:55:44,863
Jimmy, you fucking lotion lover.

808
00:55:51,747 --> 00:55:54,261
<i>MACRO: East Great Falls by four points. </i>

809
00:56:03,507 --> 00:56:05,259
Hey, butt pirates ahoy.

810
00:56:06,147 --> 00:56:09,503
Your little band
may be leading in the competition, Stifler...

811
00:56:10,867 --> 00:56:13,381
but make sure to let us know
if you get thirsty.

812
00:56:13,467 --> 00:56:15,617
Yeah, 'cause there's plenty of this.

813
00:56:15,787 --> 00:56:17,459
(Hawking and spitting)

814
00:56:19,387 --> 00:56:20,615
(Matt laughing)

815
00:56:20,747 --> 00:56:24,535
That's funny for you dorks.
Yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah.

816
00:56:24,747 --> 00:56:27,261
Man, screw that challenge.
I'm just gonna kick his ass.

817
00:56:27,347 --> 00:56:29,417
No, wait. I've got a better idea...

818
00:56:30,307 --> 00:56:32,263
if you think you're man enough.

819
00:56:43,827 --> 00:56:44,816
Yes.

820
00:56:44,907 --> 00:56:47,944
- Hey, you sure you can do this?
- Hey, born to be a porn star, baby.

821
00:56:48,027 --> 00:56:49,460
Delivery on demand.

822
00:56:50,507 --> 00:56:53,419
When I get back,
I'll be a million Stiflers lighter.

823
00:57:12,707 --> 00:57:14,663
Brandon, I think you're
a really good drummer, so...

824
00:57:14,747 --> 00:57:15,782
Excuse me.

825
00:57:27,547 --> 00:57:28,821
Hey, guys...

826
00:57:28,907 --> 00:57:32,502
don't forget your sunscreen.
Your bodies are your instruments.

827
00:57:32,587 --> 00:57:34,578
Yeah, you don't want to be
chapped for your solos.

828
00:57:34,667 --> 00:57:36,897
No, we don't. Bye now.

829
00:57:41,947 --> 00:57:44,097
What is that, 30? It's really thick.

830
00:57:54,027 --> 00:57:55,858
How's that taste, Vande-cock?

831
00:57:56,427 --> 00:57:58,577
Good, huh? Warm and salty? Yeah.

832
00:57:58,667 --> 00:58:02,296
It's a cum-pletely new formula.
100% Stiffy juice...

833
00:58:02,387 --> 00:58:04,423
S.P.F. 69.

834
00:58:10,907 --> 00:58:12,101
Suck on that.

835
00:58:13,187 --> 00:58:14,745
- Yeah.
- Stop, man.

836
00:58:14,827 --> 00:58:16,465
- Yeah.
- Ernie.

837
00:58:16,547 --> 00:58:17,821
- Yeah.
- Ernie.

838
00:58:26,827 --> 00:58:29,341
What you had before
was way better than this.

839
00:58:29,427 --> 00:58:33,306
This sounds like
your overactive honor-society brain.

840
00:58:33,747 --> 00:58:37,376
Instead of your nasty, wet...

841
00:58:38,187 --> 00:58:39,620
dirty-girl panties.

842
00:58:40,507 --> 00:58:42,418
It should be more spontaneous.

843
00:58:45,267 --> 00:58:46,541
Stop.

844
00:58:46,627 --> 00:58:49,346
Maybe you should hang out
with your friend Matt a little bit more.

845
00:58:49,427 --> 00:58:50,416
Yeah, right.

846
00:58:50,507 --> 00:58:53,943
I know he's a dick and everything,
but he's also got one.

847
00:58:54,067 --> 00:58:58,140
Make some love music, you know?
And then your notes will just cum to you.

848
00:58:58,747 --> 00:59:01,819
- Oh, Matt!
- Stop.

849
00:59:02,027 --> 00:59:03,460
Matt. Matt.

850
00:59:06,547 --> 00:59:08,902
Go long, you asshole. Go.

851
00:59:09,667 --> 00:59:11,464
Hey, Elyse.

852
00:59:12,667 --> 00:59:14,544
Throw it back. Come on.

853
00:59:15,307 --> 00:59:16,706
What you got?

854
00:59:24,067 --> 00:59:25,386
Missed. Sorry.

855
00:59:26,947 --> 00:59:28,585
MATT: Hey, if I have to ring the triangle...

856
00:59:28,667 --> 00:59:30,498
- you have to throw the football, all right?
- Okay.

857
00:59:30,587 --> 00:59:32,384
Draw your arm back. There you go.

858
00:59:32,467 --> 00:59:36,062
Shoulder to your target. Right.
Okay, now step forward.

859
00:59:36,147 --> 00:59:38,456
Come on we're not marching. One foot.

860
00:59:38,547 --> 00:59:41,300
- Okay.
- You're fine. Ready? There you go.

861
00:59:41,547 --> 00:59:42,866
Draw the ball over your ear...

862
00:59:42,947 --> 00:59:45,984
and when you throw it, let it roll
right off your fingers, all right?

863
00:59:47,147 --> 00:59:48,216
Okay.

864
00:59:48,547 --> 00:59:49,946
Come on, throw it.

865
00:59:55,627 --> 00:59:57,345
See? I taught you something. What?

866
00:59:57,427 --> 00:59:59,816
So every time I throw it,
you're gonna run and go get it?

867
00:59:59,907 --> 01:00:01,579
That's generally how it works.

868
01:00:01,667 --> 01:00:03,419
Like playing fetch with my dog.

869
01:00:03,507 --> 01:00:07,136
- Yeah, except I don't lick my own balls.
- You would if you could.

870
01:00:07,467 --> 01:00:08,456
Oh, yeah.

871
01:00:10,027 --> 01:00:11,142
Okay, again.

872
01:00:12,067 --> 01:00:13,216
Right here.

873
01:00:14,387 --> 01:00:16,901
ELYSE: Look, that one looks like a bunny.

874
01:00:17,227 --> 01:00:19,058
MATT: No, it doesn't.

875
01:00:20,347 --> 01:00:22,338
Maybe a bunny with one nut.

876
01:00:22,547 --> 01:00:25,186
- No, that's its tail.
- Whatever you say.

877
01:00:28,427 --> 01:00:31,385
- You think we'll win this thing?
- Hell, yeah, we will.

878
01:00:31,507 --> 01:00:35,625
- Lf you write in a bagpipe part.
- Oh, God, I'll never make that mistake again.

879
01:00:35,707 --> 01:00:38,619
- What?
- The eighth grade recital.

880
01:00:39,627 --> 01:00:41,982
You made me write in a part for you.

881
01:00:44,187 --> 01:00:46,064
You wore your kilt.

882
01:00:47,387 --> 01:00:49,776
Yeah, Steve showed up with his friends.

883
01:00:50,387 --> 01:00:52,503
They gave me so much shit for that.

884
01:00:52,827 --> 01:00:55,102
I didn't come out of my room for days.

885
01:00:55,387 --> 01:00:58,459
You made it up to him
by stealing all my underwear...

886
01:00:58,547 --> 01:01:00,822
so you could run them up the flagpole.

887
01:01:01,747 --> 01:01:03,499
Including my training bras.

888
01:01:06,467 --> 01:01:08,981
Okay, since we're having
some big fucking Oprah moment here...

889
01:01:09,067 --> 01:01:11,023
I'm sorry about your underwear.

890
01:01:11,147 --> 01:01:12,705
And the diary.

891
01:01:15,347 --> 01:01:17,224
And all that other shit, too.

892
01:01:55,867 --> 01:01:56,936
That's it.

893
01:01:57,467 --> 01:02:00,220
- You started it.
- This is gonna get me that scholarship.

894
01:02:00,307 --> 01:02:01,296
What?

895
01:02:01,387 --> 01:02:03,947
I've got to go write this down
before I forget.

896
01:02:04,107 --> 01:02:05,460
(Elyse humming)

897
01:02:05,747 --> 01:02:07,066
Hey. Hey. Hey.

898
01:02:08,827 --> 01:02:10,783
Could we do this again tomorrow night?

899
01:02:10,867 --> 01:02:13,620
Yeah, sure. I'll see you here at sunset.

900
01:02:14,107 --> 01:02:15,381
Hey.

901
01:02:16,307 --> 01:02:18,662
Should I bring that Picardo thing?

902
01:02:18,747 --> 01:02:20,897
Okay, I'll do a solo for you.

903
01:02:21,467 --> 01:02:22,456
(Elyse giggling)

904
01:02:25,947 --> 01:02:28,415
(Groaning in pain)

905
01:02:30,667 --> 01:02:32,305
- What's up, Ernie?
- Hey.

906
01:02:50,547 --> 01:02:52,458
It was that fugly nurse again.

907
01:03:06,947 --> 01:03:08,699
Oh, my God.

908
01:03:08,787 --> 01:03:10,061
Matt Stifler?

909
01:03:10,787 --> 01:03:15,258
- Holy shit, look at you.
- Arrianna, what are you doing here?

910
01:03:15,347 --> 01:03:18,544
We practice our routine with the band.
What are you doing here?

911
01:03:18,627 --> 01:03:20,936
I had to come. The school made me.

912
01:03:21,867 --> 01:03:25,143
- Does anybody know about this yet?
- Oh, they do now.

913
01:03:26,147 --> 01:03:29,184
Hey, come on, no pictures.
What're you, the papa-tit-zzy?

914
01:03:29,267 --> 01:03:30,939
- Holy shit, this is so hilarious.
- Smile.

915
01:03:31,027 --> 01:03:34,702
Ladies. No time for fraternizing.

916
01:03:35,667 --> 01:03:39,580
Get the bags.
Guess I'll see you around, bandee.

917
01:03:39,747 --> 01:03:43,820
What a dork.
I'm going to email this to everybody.

918
01:04:05,267 --> 01:04:07,940
Girls, that was great. Percussion, take five.

919
01:04:08,027 --> 01:04:09,699
Horns, we've got to work on intonation.

920
01:04:09,787 --> 01:04:12,301
The final performance is tomorrow,
you guys.

921
01:04:13,107 --> 01:04:14,859
They're so lame.

922
01:04:15,827 --> 01:04:18,102
You play the triangle. How cute.

923
01:04:18,907 --> 01:04:21,944
No, I don't. Look, I told you...

924
01:04:22,587 --> 01:04:23,861
- I had to...
- I gotta go.

925
01:04:23,947 --> 01:04:27,144
- I don't socialize with bandees.
- I'm not a fucking bandee.

926
01:04:27,507 --> 01:04:31,022
I'm not. Look.
I've just been acting like a geek.

927
01:04:31,307 --> 01:04:34,140
I've been playing them
so I could get them on hidden video.

928
01:04:34,227 --> 01:04:37,617
I've been secretly videotaping them
doing all this crazy shit.

929
01:04:38,547 --> 01:04:41,425
- Really?
- Yeah, I could show you.

930
01:04:43,947 --> 01:04:46,177
Okay, come by after dinner.

931
01:04:46,667 --> 01:04:49,181
I'll leave my pompoms
in the window for you.

932
01:05:21,307 --> 01:05:23,901
- You're late.
- Yeah, no shit. Open the window.

933
01:05:27,107 --> 01:05:28,938
Hold on. Be careful with it.

934
01:05:37,667 --> 01:05:40,784
All right, one condition
before I show you the fruits of my labors.

935
01:05:40,867 --> 01:05:42,016
What's that?

936
01:05:42,347 --> 01:05:45,066
I want that picture
on that camera phone erased.

937
01:05:56,227 --> 01:05:59,219
<i>Nobody at school hears
about the triangle or the beanie. </i>

938
01:05:59,307 --> 01:06:01,821
<i>I don't want anybody
to think I'm a dorky-ass bandee. </i>

939
01:06:01,907 --> 01:06:03,659
<i>Fine. Like, now can we get on with it?</i>

940
01:06:03,747 --> 01:06:07,057
<i>MATT: As soon as you get rid of that picture
of me on your phone. </i>

941
01:06:20,867 --> 01:06:23,586
<i>PATTI: Are you going into town?
LAURIE: Not tonight. I'm too tired. </i>

942
01:06:23,667 --> 01:06:26,181
LAURIE: Besides, they're much hotter here.

943
01:06:26,267 --> 01:06:29,065
I know. It's a great crop this year.

944
01:06:43,267 --> 01:06:47,021
- There. Done deal.
- Now can we see the video?

945
01:06:47,867 --> 01:06:49,425
Stiffmeister Productions...

946
01:06:49,507 --> 01:06:52,943
in association with
its talented new director, Matthew Stifler...

947
01:06:53,027 --> 01:06:54,938
is happy to premier the unedited...

948
01:06:55,027 --> 01:06:59,305
<i>unfiltered, and un-fucking-believable
Bandeez Gone Wild. </i>

949
01:07:00,587 --> 01:07:01,702
Oh, yeah.

950
01:07:05,787 --> 01:07:09,462
- Oh, my God.
- That is unbelievable.

951
01:07:31,187 --> 01:07:33,417
- You're kidding me, right?
- That's great.

952
01:07:34,827 --> 01:07:37,864
<i>PATTI: Danielle likes Jimmy,
but she's like a foot taller than him. </i>

953
01:07:37,947 --> 01:07:39,346
<i>And wait till you hear this. </i>

954
01:07:39,427 --> 01:07:41,895
Sheree slept with that big Oscar guy,
the drummer.

955
01:07:41,987 --> 01:07:43,420
Said he was amazing.

956
01:07:43,987 --> 01:07:47,059
LAURIE: I hooked up with Brandon once.
Some drummer. He has...

957
01:07:47,147 --> 01:07:48,899
<i>no rhythm,
and he can't even bang very long. </i>

958
01:07:49,067 --> 01:07:50,785
<i>PATTI: Oh, my God. Are you serious?</i>

959
01:07:50,867 --> 01:07:54,860
<i>LAURIE: Yeah, he's a preemie. I'm not talking
about the day he was born, either. </i>

960
01:07:55,867 --> 01:07:58,506
Can you get my back?
I think I got a little bit of sun today?

961
01:07:58,587 --> 01:07:59,576
Sure.

962
01:07:59,787 --> 01:08:02,585
Get this. He has one ball.

963
01:08:03,147 --> 01:08:05,377
PATTI: No way.
LAURIE: One ball.

964
01:08:06,467 --> 01:08:09,300
Yeah, that why he carries that big stick
around everywhere.

965
01:08:09,387 --> 01:08:11,343
It's got his other ball on top.

966
01:08:14,427 --> 01:08:16,145
Shit, shit, oh, shit.

967
01:08:16,427 --> 01:08:17,416
(Screaming)

968
01:08:19,067 --> 01:08:20,500
What is that thing?

969
01:08:27,547 --> 01:08:28,536
(Screaming)

970
01:08:33,987 --> 01:08:35,261
Let's kill it.

971
01:08:36,627 --> 01:08:37,776
- Where'd he go?
- There he is.

972
01:08:37,867 --> 01:08:38,936
Look out.

973
01:09:17,227 --> 01:09:19,058
This is going into the lake.

974
01:09:20,067 --> 01:09:22,456
No one's gonna know
about your little video.

975
01:09:22,547 --> 01:09:25,061
'Cause the shit you got us doing on tape...

976
01:09:29,907 --> 01:09:33,422
So we got a contest to win tomorrow.
And I don't want to see you.

977
01:09:33,787 --> 01:09:34,902
Understand?

978
01:09:40,787 --> 01:09:42,140
Did you help him?

979
01:10:06,107 --> 01:10:07,699
<i>NELSON: With East Great Falls
in the lead... </i>

980
01:10:07,787 --> 01:10:10,426
<i>Beechwood has to win
the Band Camp Playoffs. </i>

981
01:10:10,547 --> 01:10:12,663
<i>Direct yourselves to the marching field
in one hour. </i>

982
01:10:14,067 --> 01:10:17,298
Now, Dr. Choi, Brandon Vandecamp
from Beechwood...

983
01:10:17,387 --> 01:10:19,582
is our best musician by far...

984
01:10:19,667 --> 01:10:24,457
and his father, Landon,
is our best donor, also by far.

985
01:10:25,347 --> 01:10:29,420
CHOI: Robards needs talented musicians
as much as we need talented donors.

986
01:10:30,627 --> 01:10:31,821
(Laughter)

987
01:10:36,587 --> 01:10:37,861
Ipecac.

988
01:10:40,147 --> 01:10:43,219
- So how's it going? Are you having fun?
- It's okay.

989
01:10:48,427 --> 01:10:50,543
How about some Ipecac, Vande-cooch?

990
01:10:53,347 --> 01:10:57,056
This herbal fucking extract will help you
Beechwood fief play in tune, huh?

991
01:10:58,547 --> 01:10:59,536
Shit.

992
01:11:08,627 --> 01:11:10,936
I told you
I don't want to see you anymore, Stifler.

993
01:11:11,027 --> 01:11:13,097
Some day, you'll thank me, asshole.

994
01:11:17,707 --> 01:11:20,301
- Orange?
- Again?

995
01:11:20,827 --> 01:11:22,783
- Damn.
- That orange shit is janky.

996
01:11:22,867 --> 01:11:24,698
I'm feeling grape, dawg.

997
01:11:27,467 --> 01:11:31,255
OSCAR: I don't care how many times they
won. They're not getting the grape today.

998
01:11:31,347 --> 01:11:33,622
JIMMY: That's what I'm talking about.

999
01:11:35,227 --> 01:11:37,980
<i>NELSON: Your five-time defending
champion... </i>

1000
01:11:38,587 --> 01:11:40,339
<i>Beechwood Academy. </i>

1001
01:12:11,107 --> 01:12:14,224
- They're tight.
- Yeah, they're better then ever this year.

1002
01:12:14,307 --> 01:12:15,706
Okay, everybody.

1003
01:12:16,187 --> 01:12:18,303
It's no surprise Beechwood is good.

1004
01:12:18,667 --> 01:12:22,057
But this year is different.
This year, we can beat them.

1005
01:12:22,947 --> 01:12:26,019
We've worked hard,
and we are good enough...

1006
01:12:26,107 --> 01:12:28,575
and this is our time, so lets win the cup.

1007
01:12:28,667 --> 01:12:30,578
Yeah!

1008
01:13:04,067 --> 01:13:05,705
<i>NELSON: Beechwood Academy. </i>

1009
01:13:05,787 --> 01:13:09,177
<i>Their music today was composed
by senior drum major... </i>

1010
01:13:09,267 --> 01:13:11,144
<i>Brandon Vandecamp. </i>

1011
01:13:11,307 --> 01:13:12,376
Beat that.

1012
01:13:15,227 --> 01:13:18,617
<i>NELSON: East Great Falls,
you may enter the field for competition. </i>

1013
01:13:35,227 --> 01:13:38,264
ELYSE: Band 10 hut. One, two, ready.
MATT: Shit.

1014
01:13:38,347 --> 01:13:39,860
Leesy, wait, no.

1015
01:13:39,947 --> 01:13:41,903
No. Wait.

1016
01:13:51,787 --> 01:13:54,017
You know, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what happened.

1017
01:13:54,107 --> 01:13:56,177
Not my shoes. Here we go.

1018
01:14:00,827 --> 01:14:01,862
Stifler!

1019
01:14:18,987 --> 01:14:21,137
MACRO: You know, you're like
your brother, Steve.

1020
01:14:21,227 --> 01:14:24,697
And I don't think those are the shoes
you should be so eager to fill.

1021
01:14:24,787 --> 01:14:27,745
You know, the people
Steve thought were his friends...

1022
01:14:27,867 --> 01:14:30,381
- really didn't like him very much.
- What?

1023
01:14:30,467 --> 01:14:31,866
But I think you're different.

1024
01:14:31,947 --> 01:14:36,020
I think people want to like you, Matt.
You just make it really hard.

1025
01:14:49,787 --> 01:14:53,496
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
When you're a loser.

1026
01:14:59,787 --> 01:15:03,905
Mr. Levenstein reports
that there were a few incidents...

1027
01:15:03,987 --> 01:15:05,215
at camp.

1028
01:15:05,707 --> 01:15:08,096
But he also says that...

1029
01:15:08,227 --> 01:15:11,822
you bonded with the band briefly.

1030
01:15:15,707 --> 01:15:19,780
When school starts,
you're going to be on a very short leash.

1031
01:15:19,987 --> 01:15:23,582
Remember, the Shermanator sees it all.

1032
01:15:24,907 --> 01:15:26,135
Be gone.

1033
01:15:30,867 --> 01:15:32,983
Did everybody hate my brother?

1034
01:15:43,867 --> 01:15:47,337
Stardate: August 21, 2005.

1035
01:15:47,907 --> 01:15:50,182
Some progress made with Stiffy Junior.

1036
01:15:50,587 --> 01:15:52,942
Behavior modification evident.

1037
01:15:54,347 --> 01:15:56,019
Will continue to monitor.

1038
01:15:56,627 --> 01:15:58,777
Shermanator out.

1039
01:16:09,467 --> 01:16:11,822
A little "Double-D Sheree" action.

1040
01:16:16,227 --> 01:16:18,024
Little bit of Dr. Robot.

1041
01:16:19,787 --> 01:16:21,220
Crazy fucker.

1042
01:17:26,627 --> 01:17:27,901
Hey, Stifler, where's your instrument?

1043
01:17:27,987 --> 01:17:29,136
Dude, you're in the wrong uniform.

1044
01:17:29,227 --> 01:17:31,900
Screw them, dude. They're gonna freak out
when they see the video.

1045
01:17:31,987 --> 01:17:34,103
Look, we thought that if we had
an advance screening...

1046
01:17:34,187 --> 01:17:36,178
then everyone would see
that you're not really a dork.

1047
01:17:36,267 --> 01:17:38,542
I can't. It's gone.

1048
01:17:39,547 --> 01:17:42,584
- What?
- The video, man, I deleted it.

1049
01:17:43,547 --> 01:17:44,536
Why?

1050
01:17:45,427 --> 01:17:47,987
Guess little bro's quitting
the family business.

1051
01:17:48,067 --> 01:17:49,500
Are you kidding me?

1052
01:17:52,907 --> 01:17:54,738
He went fucking bandee on us.

1053
01:18:01,707 --> 01:18:04,096
(Bell ringing)

1054
01:18:10,467 --> 01:18:11,946
Hey, what's up, guys?

1055
01:18:12,707 --> 01:18:14,584
You a dead man, motherfucker.

1056
01:18:15,347 --> 01:18:17,258
- You, too, little man.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

1057
01:18:17,587 --> 01:18:21,296
Dude, the purple puke was an accident.
Somebody switched the coolers.

1058
01:18:25,827 --> 01:18:27,943
Hey, that orange shit is janky, yo.

1059
01:18:28,627 --> 01:18:33,257
Chloe, we never saw Elyse,
you know, naked.

1060
01:18:33,987 --> 01:18:35,864
Matt turned off the computer.

1061
01:18:36,707 --> 01:18:39,175
So we're just supposed to forgive him now?

1062
01:18:40,227 --> 01:18:42,821
- He's still an asshole.
- You're right.

1063
01:18:43,787 --> 01:18:45,061
I am an asshole.

1064
01:18:45,467 --> 01:18:47,617
I can't take back spying on you...

1065
01:18:47,707 --> 01:18:49,982
and I can't win that Bandee Cup thing.

1066
01:18:50,107 --> 01:18:52,860
But I can help someone
get what she deserves.

1067
01:18:53,667 --> 01:18:55,737
I'm not asking you to forgive me.

1068
01:18:55,947 --> 01:18:58,415
Just help me help Elyse.

1069
01:19:08,907 --> 01:19:11,262
- I got the number.
- Go ahead.

1070
01:19:11,347 --> 01:19:14,737
555-0171.

1071
01:19:16,667 --> 01:19:19,306
He shouldn't have been dumping Ipecac
in anyone's cooler.

1072
01:19:19,387 --> 01:19:21,139
We could've won on our own.

1073
01:19:23,347 --> 01:19:27,465
I don't even care that he saw me on camera.
Well, I mean I do, but...

1074
01:19:28,507 --> 01:19:30,657
Honey, this just came for you.

1075
01:19:34,267 --> 01:19:35,666
It's from Robards.

1076
01:19:37,067 --> 01:19:38,295
What's it say?

1077
01:19:39,987 --> 01:19:42,455
Dr. Choi wants to meet with me?

1078
01:19:59,587 --> 01:20:01,498
- Okay.
- Okay.

1079
01:20:01,707 --> 01:20:03,538
- Okay.
- Okay.

1080
01:20:05,147 --> 01:20:06,182
Bye.

1081
01:20:21,747 --> 01:20:24,056
Hi. Elyse Houston.

1082
01:20:25,227 --> 01:20:27,866
I have an appointment with Dr. Choi.

1083
01:20:28,907 --> 01:20:32,343
- You're not in the book.
- No, there must be some mistake. See...

1084
01:20:34,227 --> 01:20:35,546
I have a letter.

1085
01:20:40,827 --> 01:20:42,624
This letter is, well...

1086
01:20:43,387 --> 01:20:44,536
It's a fake.

1087
01:20:45,027 --> 01:20:47,825
- This is not Dr. Choi's signature.
- What?

1088
01:21:00,507 --> 01:21:01,576
Stifler.

1089
01:21:05,227 --> 01:21:07,377
You son of a bitch.

1090
01:21:08,987 --> 01:21:13,185
What? It wasn't enough
for you to humiliate me at Band Camp?

1091
01:21:13,267 --> 01:21:15,827
Now you have to set me up here?

1092
01:21:35,427 --> 01:21:37,065
What's going on here?

1093
01:21:38,467 --> 01:21:39,866
This is my band.

1094
01:21:40,307 --> 01:21:42,104
And that's her music.

1095
01:22:38,027 --> 01:22:39,016
Well...

1096
01:22:39,587 --> 01:22:43,136
I've certainly seen some interesting attempts
to gain admission...

1097
01:22:43,787 --> 01:22:45,345
but this is a first.

1098
01:22:46,827 --> 01:22:50,866
Excellent audition, Miss. Houston.
Let's go discuss that scholarship.

1099
01:22:52,267 --> 01:22:53,700
I thought Brandon won.

1100
01:22:53,787 --> 01:22:56,984
No, Mr. Vandecamp
was disqualified for plagiarism.

1101
01:22:57,067 --> 01:22:58,136
BOY: All right.

1102
01:23:00,267 --> 01:23:02,223
JIMMY: That's what I'm talking about, yo.

1103
01:23:06,227 --> 01:23:08,502
Oh, my God, you guys, that was amazing.

1104
01:23:09,067 --> 01:23:12,946
- Thank you so much.
- Thank him. It was his idea.

1105
01:23:13,027 --> 01:23:14,016
Word.

1106
01:23:16,707 --> 01:23:20,177
- You planned all this?
- With some friends.

1107
01:23:22,987 --> 01:23:24,215
Come here.

1108
01:23:28,667 --> 01:23:30,942
Oh, I believe this is yours.

1109
01:23:32,307 --> 01:23:33,422
You know...

1110
01:23:34,107 --> 01:23:37,986
Picardo is a brand of piccolo.

1111
01:23:38,907 --> 01:23:41,137
You really are an asshole sometimes...

1112
01:23:41,547 --> 01:23:42,536
Stiffy.

1113
01:26:55,627 --> 01:26:57,345
<i>JIMMY: Man, change the channel, yo. </i>

1114
01:26:57,547 --> 01:27:00,459
<i>Hook a brother up with some mad beats. </i>

1115
01:27:00,707 --> 01:27:02,299
<i>OSCAR: Will you cut that out?</i>

1116
01:27:02,787 --> 01:27:04,823
<i>Your name is James Hi Ping Chong. </i>

1117
01:27:04,947 --> 01:27:06,539
<i>Your dad owns a Chinese restaurant. </i>

1118
01:27:06,627 --> 01:27:09,141
<i>You live in the suburbs.
You ain't never gonna be a gangsta. </i>

1119
01:27:09,747 --> 01:27:10,736
<i>Damn!</i>

1120
01:27:13,307 --> 01:27:14,376
<i>JIMMY: That's cold, dawg. </i>

1121
01:27:14,377 --> 01:27:34,377
American Pie 4 Band Camp.[2005].RETAIL.DVDRIP.XVID.[Eng]-DUQA