1 00:00:34,188 --> 00:00:36,952 Dear Jamie, when we're together, 2 00:00:37,024 --> 00:00:40,323 I feel like we're not in high school, 3 00:00:40,394 --> 00:00:43,591 but in our own little Chris-and-Jamie world. 4 00:00:43,664 --> 00:00:45,996 Whether we're watching "Party of Five" 5 00:00:46,067 --> 00:00:48,535 or practicing our cheers, 6 00:00:48,603 --> 00:00:51,731 I feel like I can just be myself. 7 00:00:51,806 --> 00:00:56,072 Jamie, we've been friends for a really long time, 8 00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:58,077 but I want to be more than that. 9 00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,670 I don't think so. 10 00:01:03,117 --> 00:01:05,142 Hoping to be your boyfriend. 11 00:01:05,219 --> 00:01:07,153 Sincerely, Chris Brander. 12 00:01:07,221 --> 00:01:08,882 BFF! 13 00:01:08,956 --> 00:01:11,754 # I swear # 14 00:01:11,826 --> 00:01:17,230 # By the moon and the stars in the skies # 15 00:01:17,298 --> 00:01:20,165 # I'll be there, yeah # 16 00:01:20,234 --> 00:01:23,135 # And I swear # 17 00:01:23,204 --> 00:01:28,608 # Like a shadow that's by your side # 18 00:01:28,676 --> 00:01:32,612 # I'll be there # 19 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:34,807 # For better or worse... # 20 00:01:34,882 --> 00:01:37,749 - Raise your hand if your brother's a homo! - # Till death do us part... # 21 00:01:37,818 --> 00:01:40,480 - Get out of my room! - Mom! 22 00:01:40,554 --> 00:01:43,785 Stupid! Anybody ever hear of privacy around here?! 23 00:01:43,858 --> 00:01:47,055 - # I swear # - You're the homo. 24 00:01:55,136 --> 00:01:56,728 Jamie! 25 00:01:56,804 --> 00:01:58,533 Yeah, I signed your yearbook. 26 00:01:58,606 --> 00:02:01,074 You feel the same way about me? 27 00:02:01,142 --> 00:02:02,769 You want a kiss? 28 00:02:04,712 --> 00:02:07,146 Jamie, I signed your yearbook. 29 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:09,205 Jamie, I'm opening your gate. 30 00:02:26,634 --> 00:02:28,431 What's up, guys? 31 00:02:28,502 --> 00:02:30,436 Class of '95. 32 00:02:30,504 --> 00:02:33,837 Hey, what's up, Leon, Trevor? Great season. Great. 33 00:02:37,345 --> 00:02:39,279 I love you. 34 00:02:39,347 --> 00:02:42,214 - Hey, guys. - Chris Brander, ladies and gentlemen! 35 00:02:42,283 --> 00:02:44,376 - Happy graduation, Chris. - What's going on? 36 00:02:44,452 --> 00:02:46,352 I thought it was supposed to be just the four of us. 37 00:02:46,420 --> 00:02:48,149 The Palaminos decided to throw Jamie 38 00:02:48,222 --> 00:02:50,747 - a surprise graduation party. - Oh, that's just great! 39 00:02:50,825 --> 00:02:53,419 - Tonight's the night. - Where is she? 40 00:02:53,494 --> 00:02:56,292 I think I saw her go in the garage with the football team. 41 00:02:57,498 --> 00:03:00,160 - Sweet. - No fear, Chris? This is your 42 00:03:00,234 --> 00:03:02,998 - chance to get out of the "friend zone." - Yeah. 43 00:03:03,322 --> 00:03:05,061 Okay. 44 00:03:08,909 --> 00:03:10,774 #... for hip hop this is hip hop for today # 45 00:03:10,845 --> 00:03:12,403 # I give props to hip hop, so hip hop hooray... # 46 00:03:12,546 --> 00:03:14,980 Jamie. 47 00:03:15,049 --> 00:03:18,075 - Chris! - Yay! 48 00:03:18,152 --> 00:03:21,644 You came, finally! I'm so happy. 49 00:03:21,722 --> 00:03:24,885 Oh, come on, come on! 50 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,966 Oh my God, we graduated! 51 00:03:38,806 --> 00:03:39,932 - God. - Yeah. 52 00:03:40,007 --> 00:03:42,373 What's up? 53 00:03:42,443 --> 00:03:45,435 There's something I've been meaning to say to you. 54 00:03:45,513 --> 00:03:47,640 Jamie! There you are. 55 00:03:47,715 --> 00:03:50,275 - Hey, Tim. - Shut up, chubs. 56 00:03:50,351 --> 00:03:52,114 Funny guy! 57 00:03:52,186 --> 00:03:55,019 Jamie... 58 00:03:55,089 --> 00:03:58,320 - will you sign my yearbook, please? - Can I do it later, Tim? 59 00:03:58,392 --> 00:04:01,190 Can I do you later? 60 00:04:04,498 --> 00:04:06,125 I need a beer! 61 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,600 I can't believe... 62 00:04:08,669 --> 00:04:10,193 - I went out with him. - You went out with him. 63 00:04:10,271 --> 00:04:13,035 Jinx! 1-2-3-4-5-6-7, can't say a thing till I say... 64 00:04:19,113 --> 00:04:21,673 Come in. 65 00:04:23,884 --> 00:04:26,614 - Oh, hi. Hi, Jamie. - Hey, Dusty. 66 00:04:27,822 --> 00:04:29,983 I was hoping I'd find you here. 67 00:04:30,057 --> 00:04:31,752 I didn't know you played guitar. 68 00:04:31,826 --> 00:04:33,726 L-I r-really... 69 00:04:33,794 --> 00:04:35,844 I really want to be a famous musician. 70 00:04:36,764 --> 00:04:39,597 And, um, I wrote you a song. 71 00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:43,000 He wrote me a song! That's so cute. 72 00:04:43,070 --> 00:04:44,697 It's called "Jamie Smiles." 73 00:04:50,211 --> 00:04:52,236 # When Jam... # 74 00:04:52,313 --> 00:04:53,746 Hold on. 75 00:04:57,117 --> 00:04:58,982 # When Jamie... # 76 00:05:00,855 --> 00:05:02,584 He's crazy. 77 00:05:02,656 --> 00:05:04,419 # When Jamie... # 78 00:05:04,492 --> 00:05:07,427 God damn it! Come on, Dusty! 79 00:05:07,495 --> 00:05:11,022 Dusty, come here. 80 00:05:11,098 --> 00:05:13,157 Maybe you should come back another time when you're... 81 00:05:13,234 --> 00:05:15,429 - Oh, no, I got it. - You can come back 82 00:05:15,503 --> 00:05:17,437 and then play it for us later, okay? 83 00:05:17,505 --> 00:05:19,530 - I really... I've got it. It's beautiful. - Yeah. 84 00:05:19,607 --> 00:05:21,472 - It is. - Bye, Dusty. 85 00:05:23,177 --> 00:05:24,872 Jesus. 86 00:05:24,945 --> 00:05:26,435 Yeah. 87 00:05:26,514 --> 00:05:28,607 Oh, I almost forgot. 88 00:05:28,682 --> 00:05:31,845 I got you a little something right here. 89 00:05:31,919 --> 00:05:33,853 Okay. Now I know it's a little dorky, 90 00:05:33,921 --> 00:05:35,855 but I had to do it. 91 00:05:35,923 --> 00:05:37,857 So look at it. 92 00:05:37,925 --> 00:05:39,859 Will you put it on for me? 93 00:05:39,927 --> 00:05:41,724 - Now? - Please, please? Put it on. 94 00:05:41,795 --> 00:05:44,286 - Okay. Quickly. - Okay okay okay okay. 95 00:05:44,365 --> 00:05:46,094 - I think it's gonna fit. - Yeah. 96 00:05:46,166 --> 00:05:48,293 - Let's see. - Okay. 97 00:05:48,369 --> 00:05:50,234 - Here we go. - Okay. 98 00:05:55,109 --> 00:05:56,838 It's a little snug. 99 00:05:56,911 --> 00:05:59,345 Oh my God, isn't that so cute? 100 00:05:59,413 --> 00:06:01,347 "Shakes come and go, 101 00:06:01,415 --> 00:06:03,007 but friends are furrr-ever!" 102 00:06:03,083 --> 00:06:05,176 That's adorable! Let's go show my mom. 103 00:06:05,252 --> 00:06:07,243 She'll love it. Let's go show her. Come on. 104 00:06:07,321 --> 00:06:09,221 - Let's not. No no. Come on. - Chris, she's gonna love it! 105 00:06:09,290 --> 00:06:10,587 Just... just wait. 106 00:06:10,658 --> 00:06:13,650 - Just... we're busy! - Chris, are you okay? 107 00:06:13,727 --> 00:06:16,093 Yes, I'm fine. I just... 108 00:06:17,331 --> 00:06:19,060 I signed your yearbook. 109 00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:21,567 Um... 110 00:06:21,635 --> 00:06:24,263 read it... please. 111 00:06:24,338 --> 00:06:25,532 Okay. 112 00:06:29,643 --> 00:06:32,168 Please, God. 113 00:06:32,246 --> 00:06:35,773 "Stud muffin, getting it on in your love truck was hot!" 114 00:06:35,849 --> 00:06:38,181 - Oh! - Wait! That's not what I wrote! 115 00:06:38,252 --> 00:06:40,220 This is Tim's yearbook. 116 00:06:41,722 --> 00:06:44,316 - Chris? - Oh my God! 117 00:06:44,391 --> 00:06:46,757 Listen to this. Listen to this. 118 00:06:46,827 --> 00:06:48,590 "When we're together, I feel"... 119 00:06:48,662 --> 00:06:50,596 - Gimme! - "Like we're not in high school, but we're 120 00:06:50,664 --> 00:06:53,326 - in our own Chris-and-Jamie little world." - Tim... okay. 121 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,459 Okay. 122 00:06:55,536 --> 00:06:57,834 - "You're my best friend..." - Please, don't read that. 123 00:06:57,905 --> 00:06:59,839 "But I want to be more than that"? 124 00:07:01,408 --> 00:07:03,399 "Hoping to be your boyfriend. 125 00:07:03,477 --> 00:07:06,969 Sincerely, Chris Brander, BFF." 126 00:07:07,047 --> 00:07:10,175 It's a joke! That's a joke between me and Jamie! 127 00:07:10,250 --> 00:07:12,047 Holy shit! Check out his shirt! 128 00:07:20,094 --> 00:07:22,221 Aw, he's gonna cry. 129 00:07:22,296 --> 00:07:24,025 See ya! 130 00:07:25,199 --> 00:07:27,099 G'bye, fatty! 131 00:07:28,335 --> 00:07:29,859 Chris! 132 00:07:29,937 --> 00:07:32,303 Try a salad! 133 00:07:32,373 --> 00:07:34,307 - Chris! - Leave me alone! 134 00:07:34,375 --> 00:07:36,536 Don't worry about it. It happens to everybody. 135 00:07:36,610 --> 00:07:39,909 Chris! We need to talk about what you wrote. 136 00:07:39,980 --> 00:07:41,914 Is that really how you feel? 137 00:07:41,982 --> 00:07:44,473 I don't know. Maybe. Why? 138 00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:47,452 Because that's the nicest thing anyone's ever written me. 139 00:07:47,521 --> 00:07:49,648 It was? 140 00:07:49,723 --> 00:07:51,054 Yes. 141 00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:53,252 I love you, Chris... 142 00:07:56,330 --> 00:07:58,207 like a brother. 143 00:07:58,766 --> 00:08:02,600 - We're friends, right? - For sure! 144 00:08:04,638 --> 00:08:06,572 You pussy! 145 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:08,198 Shut up, Tim! 146 00:08:10,444 --> 00:08:13,106 Don't you people have anything better to do?! 147 00:08:13,180 --> 00:08:15,171 God! Just leave him alone! 148 00:08:16,984 --> 00:08:19,179 You jerks! 149 00:08:19,253 --> 00:08:20,838 I'll show you! 150 00:08:21,088 --> 00:08:23,420 I'll show all of you! 151 00:08:23,490 --> 00:08:26,391 This town is full of losers 152 00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:28,155 and I'm pulling out to win! 153 00:08:28,228 --> 00:08:30,389 Chris! Chris, come back! 154 00:08:30,464 --> 00:08:33,865 - My name is Chris Brander! - Chris, let's talk! 155 00:08:33,934 --> 00:08:36,425 You remember that name! 'Cause I'm gonna be somebody! 156 00:09:02,362 --> 00:09:03,989 I don't know what to say. 157 00:09:04,064 --> 00:09:06,430 I mean, the sex is good, 158 00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:08,127 but I'm a person too. 159 00:09:08,202 --> 00:09:10,397 I mean, I have feelings and needs 160 00:09:10,471 --> 00:09:11,870 other than just physical! 161 00:09:11,939 --> 00:09:14,999 Don't you have anything to say for yourself? 162 00:09:16,376 --> 00:09:18,310 I think you've pretty much said it all. 163 00:09:18,378 --> 00:09:21,313 You know what? This just isn't working out. 164 00:09:21,381 --> 00:09:24,043 Have a great life, 'cause Athena's out! 165 00:09:26,887 --> 00:09:29,117 I don't know why you just don't take me serious! 166 00:09:35,362 --> 00:09:37,296 I guess Athena's out. 167 00:09:38,532 --> 00:09:39,760 God, can you believe that? 168 00:09:39,833 --> 00:09:41,767 I get dumped four days before Christmas. 169 00:09:41,835 --> 00:09:43,769 - I saw. - Yeah, and yet, you did nothing. 170 00:09:43,837 --> 00:09:45,498 Technically, that makes you an accomplice. 171 00:09:45,572 --> 00:09:47,039 Guilty as charged. 172 00:09:47,107 --> 00:09:49,735 You know, in some cultures they'd spank you for that. 173 00:09:49,810 --> 00:09:51,835 Oh, I love to travel. 174 00:09:53,147 --> 00:09:55,206 - Chris Brander. - I'm Mandy. 175 00:09:55,282 --> 00:09:57,978 Of course you are. You know, I know a song called "Mandy." 176 00:09:58,051 --> 00:09:59,985 Oh! 177 00:10:01,288 --> 00:10:03,017 He shoots, he scores. 178 00:10:06,326 --> 00:10:09,489 - Nice, nice! - Yeah, Brander! Great job, Brander! 179 00:10:09,563 --> 00:10:12,794 You're the bad bunny. No. No, that's you. 180 00:10:12,866 --> 00:10:15,096 You're the bad bunny. Yeah. 181 00:10:15,169 --> 00:10:16,898 Okay, that's enough out of you. 182 00:10:16,970 --> 00:10:18,995 Next time you call me, you call me collect. 183 00:10:19,072 --> 00:10:21,006 Okay. Bye-bye. 184 00:10:21,074 --> 00:10:23,668 - So how'd it go last night? - Home by 10:00. 185 00:10:23,744 --> 00:10:26,042 Pants off in front of the computer by 10:01. 186 00:10:26,113 --> 00:10:28,547 Nice. What about Sheila? Are you making any headway? 187 00:10:28,615 --> 00:10:30,549 We'll see. I'm taking her to lunch today... 188 00:10:30,617 --> 00:10:32,710 Oh, whoa, whoa whoa. Don't... don't do that. 189 00:10:32,786 --> 00:10:34,447 - Okay? Don't do lunch. - Why? 190 00:10:34,521 --> 00:10:36,716 That's like the express lane to the friend zone. 191 00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:39,054 What the hell's the friend zone? 192 00:10:39,126 --> 00:10:41,287 See when a girl decides that you're her friend, 193 00:10:41,361 --> 00:10:42,885 you're no longer a dating option. 194 00:10:42,963 --> 00:10:45,454 You become a complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, 195 00:10:45,532 --> 00:10:47,295 like her brother. Or a lamp. 196 00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:48,891 I don't want to be a lamp. 197 00:10:48,969 --> 00:10:51,096 Yeah. Well, then don't be her friend, okay? 198 00:10:51,171 --> 00:10:54,299 Oh. Take that guy, for example. 199 00:10:54,374 --> 00:10:56,399 - You mean that couple? - No no no. 200 00:10:56,476 --> 00:10:59,070 No, I mean the guy that wishes they were a couple. 201 00:10:59,146 --> 00:11:00,909 - What is your point? - My point is... 202 00:11:00,981 --> 00:11:03,711 call Sheila, Ray. Call her right now. 203 00:11:03,784 --> 00:11:05,615 Move your day date to tonight. 204 00:11:05,686 --> 00:11:08,587 Play the entire thing aloof and no matter what you do, kiss her at the end. 205 00:11:08,655 --> 00:11:11,954 - 'Cause friends don't kiss. - All right. "Aloof." 206 00:11:12,025 --> 00:11:14,550 Hi. 207 00:11:18,131 --> 00:11:19,894 - Straight to voicemail. - Ouch. 208 00:11:19,967 --> 00:11:22,595 Hope you're not too late. You may already be girlfriends. 209 00:11:22,669 --> 00:11:26,002 - Really? How will I know? - Look. It doesn't matter, okay? 210 00:11:26,073 --> 00:11:29,873 If you feel yourself going there, walk away. 211 00:11:29,943 --> 00:11:31,638 Where'd you come up with this theory? 212 00:11:31,712 --> 00:11:34,442 Some chick f'd me up in high school bad. 213 00:11:34,514 --> 00:11:36,812 Excuse me. Excuse me. 214 00:11:36,884 --> 00:11:38,374 Excuse you! 215 00:11:38,452 --> 00:11:40,044 I saw you flirting with me out there. 216 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,281 How could you do that to your boyfriend? 217 00:11:42,356 --> 00:11:44,654 Who, him? We're just friends. 218 00:11:47,361 --> 00:11:50,159 Oh, no no no, I never said that, Lindsay. I wouldn't do that. 219 00:11:50,230 --> 00:11:52,289 No, I'm driving through a tunnel. 220 00:11:52,366 --> 00:11:54,857 Okay. One second here. Hey, Francine, you look great. 221 00:11:54,935 --> 00:11:58,302 - Thanks. - That color really brings out your legs. 222 00:11:58,372 --> 00:12:01,364 Hey, I don't even know you. Yeah. Ho-ho-ho. 223 00:12:01,441 --> 00:12:02,999 That's great. Merry Christmas. 224 00:12:03,076 --> 00:12:05,271 I can still see it. I can still... rub harder! 225 00:12:05,345 --> 00:12:06,937 Don't dab at it! Rub it. 226 00:12:07,014 --> 00:12:09,175 Rub, rub it, rub it! 227 00:12:09,249 --> 00:12:11,410 Look, honestly, these pants make me look fat? 228 00:12:11,485 --> 00:12:13,248 - Well... - You're fired! 229 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,185 - What? - I'm kidding. 230 00:12:15,255 --> 00:12:17,780 Ho-ho-ho! Who's got a Christmas present? 231 00:12:17,858 --> 00:12:19,416 I do. 232 00:12:19,493 --> 00:12:21,427 How you doing, boss? Merry Christmas. 233 00:12:21,495 --> 00:12:23,429 - I look fat in these pants? - Hell no. 234 00:12:23,497 --> 00:12:25,465 Excellent! So you're seeing your family 235 00:12:25,532 --> 00:12:27,625 - for the holidays. - Well, as a matter of fact... 236 00:12:27,701 --> 00:12:29,191 - Wait. You want anything? - No. 237 00:12:29,269 --> 00:12:31,965 Go! Wait. 238 00:12:32,039 --> 00:12:33,939 - Family. - Parents are separated. 239 00:12:34,007 --> 00:12:35,907 - Jersey's not my idea of a good time, so... - Fabulous. 240 00:12:35,976 --> 00:12:37,705 - Check this out. - Yeah. Great. Good. 241 00:12:37,778 --> 00:12:41,043 First up tonight, you've seen her in the pages of magazines, 242 00:12:41,114 --> 00:12:43,105 and well, the opening of practically anything, 243 00:12:43,183 --> 00:12:45,344 but what what you may not know about this "it" girl... 244 00:12:45,419 --> 00:12:47,114 is her humanitarian side. 245 00:12:47,187 --> 00:12:48,745 Hey, everyone. I'm Samantha James 246 00:12:48,822 --> 00:12:50,255 and I'm here with Mr. Cluck Cluck 247 00:12:50,324 --> 00:12:52,292 and my new best friend Wafoofi 248 00:12:52,359 --> 00:12:54,623 and we're part of a kick-ass humanitarian effort 249 00:12:54,695 --> 00:12:57,357 to help promote vegetarianism in third world countries, 250 00:12:57,431 --> 00:12:59,092 which is really really important. 251 00:12:59,166 --> 00:13:02,135 Okay, and speaking of really really important... 252 00:13:02,202 --> 00:13:04,762 I have some good news. 253 00:13:04,838 --> 00:13:06,567 I've been recording for my new album 254 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:08,665 which I hope to have out early next... 255 00:13:10,143 --> 00:13:12,907 - I want that album. - Hah! What?! 256 00:13:12,980 --> 00:13:14,379 - Samantha James? - Yeah. 257 00:13:14,448 --> 00:13:16,473 No no no no. Listen to me very carefully now. 258 00:13:16,550 --> 00:13:18,780 Samantha James is a crazy person. 259 00:13:18,852 --> 00:13:20,945 Hey, you're the one that used to diddle her, not me. 260 00:13:21,021 --> 00:13:24,081 It was one date! And I ended up in the hospital. 261 00:13:24,157 --> 00:13:26,648 Have you seen this poster? Have you seen... 262 00:13:26,727 --> 00:13:28,490 - this poster? - Yeah, with the fruit. 263 00:13:28,562 --> 00:13:31,224 This is the hottest-selling poster in the United States. 264 00:13:31,298 --> 00:13:33,289 People love her. They love her! 265 00:13:33,367 --> 00:13:35,232 Oh, who loves her? 266 00:13:35,302 --> 00:13:37,793 MTV just got her a new reality show next year. 267 00:13:37,871 --> 00:13:41,363 We time the CD release with the show, we got a guaranteed hit 268 00:13:41,441 --> 00:13:42,874 plus free promotion. 269 00:13:42,943 --> 00:13:45,468 - She's recording over... - I know where she's recording. 270 00:13:45,545 --> 00:13:48,742 Good. Good. Make me happy. 271 00:13:48,815 --> 00:13:50,544 Go away. Wait. Not you. 272 00:13:50,617 --> 00:13:52,448 Wait! 273 00:13:52,519 --> 00:13:55,488 You don't make me happy, I'm gonna find somebody else to make me happy. 274 00:13:55,555 --> 00:13:57,955 Loud and clear. Yeah. Clear as a bell. 275 00:13:58,025 --> 00:13:58,957 - Good. - Okay. 276 00:13:59,026 --> 00:14:00,493 What are you still doing here? 277 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:01,754 Go! Go get me lobster! 278 00:14:01,828 --> 00:14:03,489 Go! Run! Lobster! 279 00:14:03,563 --> 00:14:05,531 Run away! Run! Daddy want a fish! 280 00:14:10,837 --> 00:14:16,036 # Yeah, uh uh, eins zwei drei vier! # 281 00:14:16,109 --> 00:14:18,805 # We might be a world apart # 282 00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:21,006 # World apart # 283 00:14:21,081 --> 00:14:22,981 # But you're always in my heart # 284 00:14:23,050 --> 00:14:25,041 # Always in my heart # 285 00:14:25,118 --> 00:14:27,985 - # When you look up at the stars # - # Look up at the stars # 286 00:14:28,055 --> 00:14:31,218 - # Feel my love from afar # - # Afar afar # 287 00:14:31,291 --> 00:14:35,091 - # Looking down like a shining star # - # Shining star # 288 00:14:35,162 --> 00:14:38,825 - # Dancing free with my guitar # - # My guitar # 289 00:14:38,899 --> 00:14:42,266 - # I don't know just where you are # - # Where are you? # 290 00:14:42,335 --> 00:14:44,326 # Love from afar, love from afar # 291 00:14:44,404 --> 00:14:48,704 # Feel my love... # 292 00:14:50,210 --> 00:14:53,179 Cut! Cut! 293 00:14:54,681 --> 00:14:57,707 Okay, Ron, which jokester changed the key on me? 294 00:14:57,784 --> 00:14:59,479 No one, Samantha. 295 00:14:59,553 --> 00:15:01,987 It's been the same key for the last 43 takes. 296 00:15:02,055 --> 00:15:05,616 Well, something's off then, because I'm just not feeling it, okay? 297 00:15:05,692 --> 00:15:07,489 God, I need my guitar. 298 00:15:07,561 --> 00:15:10,223 - We need to mix the tracks separately. - No! 299 00:15:10,297 --> 00:15:14,666 My lyrics say "dancing free with my guitar," Ron. 300 00:15:14,734 --> 00:15:16,895 So, I'm gonna be real, okay? 301 00:15:16,970 --> 00:15:19,336 I'm not gonna let you and Hong Kong Phooey up there 302 00:15:19,406 --> 00:15:23,001 turn me into some poppy bubblegum wannabe. 303 00:15:23,076 --> 00:15:25,044 Okay? I need to transcend! 304 00:15:25,112 --> 00:15:27,012 Are you guys even listening to me? 305 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,480 # You guys are assholes, you're assholes... # 306 00:15:29,549 --> 00:15:31,676 - Switch it off, guys. - # Ron, you're an asshole # 307 00:15:31,751 --> 00:15:34,914 # You guys are assholes, You're assholes. # 308 00:15:34,988 --> 00:15:36,853 She's all yours. 309 00:15:36,923 --> 00:15:39,187 Chris! 310 00:15:42,996 --> 00:15:45,658 Hey! 311 00:15:45,732 --> 00:15:49,099 I can't hear you, Samantha. I can't hear you, Samantha. 312 00:15:50,137 --> 00:15:51,229 - Can't hear you. - Oh. 313 00:15:51,304 --> 00:15:55,172 Oh, light bulb. There you go. 314 00:15:58,278 --> 00:16:00,405 Oh my God, I don't believe it! 315 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,573 God, I've missed you. 316 00:16:02,649 --> 00:16:04,617 Oh... okay. 317 00:16:08,488 --> 00:16:11,321 Wait a minute. Are you here because you miss me, 318 00:16:11,391 --> 00:16:14,189 or are you just here because your boss wants to sign me? 319 00:16:15,896 --> 00:16:17,887 Both? 320 00:16:17,964 --> 00:16:20,762 That's cool. Guess I missed you too. 321 00:16:21,968 --> 00:16:23,993 God, I want to lick your skin off! 322 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,129 - I prefer you didn't. - But I want to. 323 00:16:26,206 --> 00:16:28,572 Don't. 324 00:16:31,845 --> 00:16:34,439 You're gonna get it. You're gonna get it, baby. 325 00:16:34,514 --> 00:16:37,847 - I don't want it. - Bad kitty. Meow, meow. 326 00:16:37,918 --> 00:16:40,011 - Okay. - Oh! Listen, what're you doing 327 00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:42,452 - over the holidays? - I'm going to Santa Barbara... 328 00:16:42,522 --> 00:16:43,750 'Cause Paris is throwing a Christmas bash in Paris. 329 00:16:43,823 --> 00:16:45,290 Okay, Paris isn't gonna work for... 330 00:16:45,358 --> 00:16:47,417 I'm gonna call my assistant and we're gonna go tonight. 331 00:16:47,494 --> 00:16:49,826 We can work and play. Mreow. 332 00:16:49,896 --> 00:16:52,194 Oh my God! I just wrote a new song. You have to hear it! 333 00:16:55,869 --> 00:16:57,632 This one's called "Forgiveness." 334 00:17:04,911 --> 00:17:06,613 # Forgiveness # 335 00:17:09,349 --> 00:17:12,443 # Is more than saying sorry # 336 00:17:17,057 --> 00:17:19,821 # To forgive is divine # 337 00:17:19,893 --> 00:17:22,953 # So let's have a glass of wine # 338 00:17:23,029 --> 00:17:25,793 # And have makeup sex # 339 00:17:25,865 --> 00:17:27,332 # Until the end of # 340 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:30,460 # Time time time time # 341 00:17:30,537 --> 00:17:34,405 # Time # 342 00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,203 # Time. # 343 00:17:38,044 --> 00:17:40,308 So what did you you think? 344 00:17:42,549 --> 00:17:45,245 I mean, my God! 345 00:17:45,318 --> 00:17:47,411 Oh my God, you're sweet. 346 00:17:48,722 --> 00:17:51,247 - What is that? - This is a taser gun. 347 00:17:51,324 --> 00:17:53,724 My publicist gave it to me to ward off stalkers. 348 00:17:57,945 --> 00:17:59,532 Tuna. 349 00:17:59,599 --> 00:18:02,397 - You want some? - I'll pass. 350 00:18:04,871 --> 00:18:07,635 I'm so glad KC got us back together. 351 00:18:07,707 --> 00:18:09,470 Yeah, you're awful. 352 00:18:09,794 --> 00:18:12,102 I have a great idea. 353 00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:14,442 What if on our way to Paris we stop off in Ireland 354 00:18:14,514 --> 00:18:16,345 and find out where U2 lives? 355 00:18:16,416 --> 00:18:19,283 What if we got someone like Bono to sing backup? 356 00:18:19,352 --> 00:18:21,411 I'd be all... # Forgiveness is the way, # 357 00:18:21,488 --> 00:18:24,685 and he'd go, # Forgiveness every day # only all Bono-y. 358 00:18:24,758 --> 00:18:26,749 Wouldn't that be amazing? 359 00:18:26,826 --> 00:18:29,624 What if I added more vibrato? 360 00:18:29,696 --> 00:18:32,665 # Forgiveness # 361 00:18:34,401 --> 00:18:37,529 # Is more than sayin' sorry # 362 00:18:41,474 --> 00:18:45,205 # To forgive is divine # 363 00:18:45,278 --> 00:18:47,371 # So let's have a glass of... # 364 00:18:49,649 --> 00:18:52,345 Okay. Who's the genius behind this? 365 00:18:52,419 --> 00:18:54,717 The container said "microwavable." 366 00:18:54,788 --> 00:18:56,312 But the aluminum foil wasn't. 367 00:18:56,389 --> 00:18:58,914 Well, I'm not supposed to worry about stuff like that. 368 00:18:58,992 --> 00:19:00,425 I'm the talent. 369 00:19:00,493 --> 00:19:02,825 Daddy, we're down. 370 00:19:02,896 --> 00:19:04,830 Not exactly warm out here, is it? 371 00:19:04,898 --> 00:19:07,890 - How long till we're airborne again? - Nice plane! 372 00:19:07,967 --> 00:19:10,561 - Not till tomorrow. - Terrific. Where are we? 373 00:19:10,637 --> 00:19:12,229 Not happy! 374 00:19:12,305 --> 00:19:15,069 We're on a private field an hour outside of Trenton. 375 00:19:15,141 --> 00:19:18,076 Jersey? We're in New Jersey? 376 00:19:18,144 --> 00:19:21,113 Hey, wait a minute. Am I being Punk'd? 377 00:19:21,181 --> 00:19:23,081 Where's Ashton? Ha! 378 00:19:23,149 --> 00:19:24,116 Ashton! 379 00:19:24,184 --> 00:19:26,118 Oh my God! Ha ha. 380 00:19:26,186 --> 00:19:28,120 You totally got me! 381 00:19:28,188 --> 00:19:29,951 Ashton? 382 00:19:32,092 --> 00:19:34,652 I love it that you're taking me home to meet your mom. 383 00:19:34,728 --> 00:19:36,662 Was this one of your clever little plans? 384 00:19:36,730 --> 00:19:38,994 Yes. I planned you setting the plane on fire. 385 00:19:40,133 --> 00:19:43,034 Surprise! 386 00:19:47,707 --> 00:19:50,267 Oh, my little boy. 387 00:19:54,013 --> 00:19:55,947 Be right down. 388 00:20:43,563 --> 00:20:45,895 I do not remember Jersey being this cold. 389 00:20:45,965 --> 00:20:48,365 Well, it's been uncommonly cold this month. 390 00:20:48,435 --> 00:20:51,734 We've gone through seven bags of rock salt. 391 00:20:51,805 --> 00:20:53,466 Your house is just so quaint, Mrs. Brander, 392 00:20:53,540 --> 00:20:56,031 I mean, Chris, you never told me you were so provincial. 393 00:20:56,109 --> 00:20:58,373 It's like a true rags to riches story, 394 00:20:58,445 --> 00:21:01,039 but I've always found the middle class to be just so much more real. 395 00:21:02,549 --> 00:21:04,813 I mean, isn't Chris great? 396 00:21:04,884 --> 00:21:06,818 Yeah, he is a nice boy. 397 00:21:06,886 --> 00:21:10,185 You know, he usually flies us out to Los Angeles. 398 00:21:10,256 --> 00:21:12,190 It's been... 399 00:21:12,258 --> 00:21:14,556 oh, nine, 10... 400 00:21:14,627 --> 00:21:16,720 - It's 10 years. Yeah. - 10? 401 00:21:16,796 --> 00:21:19,128 10 years since he's been home. 402 00:21:19,199 --> 00:21:21,724 - All right. Good job, Dougie. - Oh, hi, honey! 403 00:21:24,771 --> 00:21:26,466 Oh my God. 404 00:21:26,539 --> 00:21:29,531 - Mikey. - Oh my God! 405 00:21:31,144 --> 00:21:34,341 - Is that my Christmas present? - Sam, my younger brother Mike. 406 00:21:34,414 --> 00:21:37,076 - Samantha James. - Samantha James. 407 00:21:37,150 --> 00:21:39,414 Mike Brander. It is an honor. 408 00:21:39,486 --> 00:21:41,784 I have your poster on my wall, 409 00:21:41,855 --> 00:21:45,188 - but you are way hotter in person. - I know! 410 00:21:45,258 --> 00:21:47,726 - You have her poster on your wall? - Yeah. 411 00:21:47,794 --> 00:21:49,853 I slapped the ham to it like an hour ago. 412 00:21:49,929 --> 00:21:51,897 What ham did you slap? 413 00:21:51,965 --> 00:21:54,490 Not the ham that I just bought? 414 00:21:54,567 --> 00:21:57,627 Oh, Mrs. Brander, do you have anything else besides ham? 415 00:21:57,704 --> 00:21:59,399 Because I'm on the Perricone diet 416 00:21:59,472 --> 00:22:01,303 and I need salmon like now. 417 00:22:01,374 --> 00:22:04,866 I love salmon. It's the prettiest color for bedrooms. 418 00:22:04,944 --> 00:22:07,936 - So relaxing. - I'm gonna start drinking. 419 00:22:08,014 --> 00:22:10,073 Um, does anybody want anything? Some coffee? 420 00:22:10,149 --> 00:22:11,741 Maybe some salmon or something? 421 00:22:11,818 --> 00:22:13,752 Just gonna... 422 00:22:13,820 --> 00:22:15,412 yeah. 423 00:22:15,488 --> 00:22:17,251 Mike! Good to be home. 424 00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:29,094 Oh, boy. Okay. 425 00:22:29,168 --> 00:22:32,626 Hi. Yes, I know, very exciting. 426 00:22:32,705 --> 00:22:35,299 Hi. Hi. 427 00:22:35,375 --> 00:22:37,309 Oh. Chris, let's get it to go. 428 00:22:37,377 --> 00:22:39,470 People are staring at me. 429 00:22:40,980 --> 00:22:42,914 Oh my God... plastic menus! 430 00:22:42,982 --> 00:22:45,712 Well, this isn't gonna work, is it now, Chris? 431 00:22:45,785 --> 00:22:46,752 Chris? 432 00:22:49,889 --> 00:22:51,823 Excuse me, but I was wondering if you think 433 00:22:51,891 --> 00:22:53,950 America will ever switch to the metric system? 434 00:22:54,027 --> 00:22:55,824 Well, that's a very interesting... 435 00:22:57,430 --> 00:23:00,957 - Oh my God! Chris! - I don't believe this! 436 00:23:01,034 --> 00:23:04,231 - Oh! God, you look great! - I don't... you look great! 437 00:23:04,304 --> 00:23:06,829 - Well, thank you! How you been? - We're married. 438 00:23:06,906 --> 00:23:08,965 - You're married! - Married? 439 00:23:09,042 --> 00:23:11,602 - Yeah, we're married, we got a kid. TJ. - We have a son. TJ. 440 00:23:11,678 --> 00:23:13,805 - TJ! - He looks like me. He's got Clark's eyes... 441 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,848 Oh my God! Where does the time go? 442 00:23:15,915 --> 00:23:18,475 He's like the creative mind kid, he's like, brilliant and you can meet him. 443 00:23:18,551 --> 00:23:21,111 - That's great! - God, look at those teeth! 444 00:23:21,187 --> 00:23:23,052 Those are some nice veneers you got, my friend. 445 00:23:23,122 --> 00:23:25,090 - Don't tell me that you're a dentist. - A dentist? 446 00:23:25,158 --> 00:23:28,889 - I totally sold out, dude. - Hey, you and me both, buddy. 447 00:23:28,962 --> 00:23:31,726 Lover, aren't you gonna introduce me? 448 00:23:31,798 --> 00:23:33,390 Yes! 449 00:23:33,466 --> 00:23:35,195 Samantha, these are my old friends. 450 00:23:35,268 --> 00:23:37,429 This is Clark, this is Darla. 451 00:23:37,503 --> 00:23:40,529 Your names are "Clark" and "Darla"? 452 00:23:40,607 --> 00:23:41,733 Yeah. 453 00:23:41,808 --> 00:23:44,504 Oh my God, that is so cute! 454 00:23:44,577 --> 00:23:46,670 I just wanna eat you both up! 455 00:23:48,414 --> 00:23:51,349 Okay, I am gonna go to the little girl's room. 456 00:23:51,417 --> 00:23:53,317 - Good. - And then we're outie. 457 00:23:53,386 --> 00:23:56,116 - Okay. - Okay. 458 00:23:56,189 --> 00:23:59,090 She's... incoming. 459 00:23:59,158 --> 00:24:00,955 Oh my God. 460 00:24:01,027 --> 00:24:03,461 Check out that girl's ass. Huge! 461 00:24:04,864 --> 00:24:06,889 It was so nice meeting you. 462 00:24:11,169 --> 00:24:12,248 Darla. 463 00:24:15,975 --> 00:24:18,068 She's adorable. 464 00:24:18,144 --> 00:24:20,374 - And affectionate. - Christ sakes. 465 00:24:20,446 --> 00:24:23,472 - Chris Brander, ladies and gentlemen! - Yes! You guys, so good... 466 00:24:23,549 --> 00:24:25,881 Chris Brander? Chris Brander? 467 00:24:25,952 --> 00:24:27,476 Holy... 468 00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:31,284 I saw you at the Grammys sitting next to P. Diddy! 469 00:24:32,325 --> 00:24:34,020 It's me Tim. You remember? 470 00:24:34,093 --> 00:24:35,424 Oh, how could I forget you, Tim? 471 00:24:35,495 --> 00:24:37,429 Hey, you got $5 472 00:24:37,497 --> 00:24:39,624 that I can, like, have? 473 00:24:40,667 --> 00:24:42,635 Yeah. 474 00:24:42,702 --> 00:24:44,431 You keep living the dream, Tim. 475 00:24:44,504 --> 00:24:45,402 Done! 476 00:24:45,471 --> 00:24:46,563 Buh-bye now. 477 00:24:46,639 --> 00:24:49,608 - Class of '95! - Class of '95! 478 00:24:49,676 --> 00:24:51,405 Here's your money, bitch! 479 00:24:51,477 --> 00:24:53,707 - He looks good. - Man, I can't believe... 480 00:24:53,780 --> 00:24:55,941 wha... like what happened? Where did you go? 481 00:24:56,015 --> 00:24:58,848 Hey, you know... just migrated west. 482 00:24:59,018 --> 00:25:01,509 You know, I'm living the dream out there, I guess. 483 00:25:01,587 --> 00:25:03,646 I just stayed with my dad for awhile, and... 484 00:25:03,723 --> 00:25:07,090 yeah, hocked my soul for a record executive job... 485 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,254 and started... I mean I had an internship first 486 00:25:10,329 --> 00:25:11,762 - a couple of years. - Right. 487 00:25:14,233 --> 00:25:16,599 Jamie. 488 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:22,107 Jamie? 489 00:25:23,476 --> 00:25:26,104 - Chris, hi! - Hi! 490 00:25:26,179 --> 00:25:29,080 What are you doing down there? 491 00:25:29,148 --> 00:25:32,015 Oh, I'm just busted! 492 00:25:32,085 --> 00:25:35,680 How are you? Oh, shit. Hold on. 493 00:25:38,725 --> 00:25:40,454 Look at you! 494 00:25:40,526 --> 00:25:42,153 Oh my God, 495 00:25:42,228 --> 00:25:44,560 I can put my arms around you. 496 00:25:46,365 --> 00:25:48,993 - You look so great! Look at this body! - Thank you. 497 00:25:49,068 --> 00:25:50,797 - You're like a new man! - Yeah. 498 00:25:50,870 --> 00:25:53,839 These arms and your belly, 499 00:25:53,906 --> 00:25:55,897 and look at... pecs, and... 500 00:25:56,479 --> 00:25:58,535 Chris Brander. 501 00:25:58,611 --> 00:26:01,512 God. Jamie Palamino. 502 00:26:04,650 --> 00:26:07,483 So, um... so how long are you in town for? 503 00:26:07,553 --> 00:26:09,680 Um, just the night, actually. 504 00:26:09,756 --> 00:26:12,020 Just one night, really? You can't stay any longer? 505 00:26:12,091 --> 00:26:15,254 No. I wish I could, but l... 506 00:26:15,328 --> 00:26:17,296 Let's go, Chris. There's pee on the floor. 507 00:26:20,066 --> 00:26:23,524 - Yeah. - Okay... 508 00:26:23,603 --> 00:26:26,231 all right, well... 509 00:26:26,305 --> 00:26:29,866 - it's really great to see you again. - You too. 510 00:26:37,216 --> 00:26:39,081 Just give me a call sometime. 511 00:26:39,152 --> 00:26:41,177 I'm living with my parents. 512 00:26:41,254 --> 00:26:44,155 Oh, I know. I'm living with my parents. 513 00:26:45,558 --> 00:26:47,287 Okay, bye. 514 00:26:48,561 --> 00:26:50,529 - Bye. - Bye. 515 00:26:53,032 --> 00:26:56,092 - Jamie Pal. - Whoa! 516 00:26:56,169 --> 00:26:57,602 She's like a box of fine wine. 517 00:26:57,670 --> 00:27:00,366 You would know. 518 00:27:00,439 --> 00:27:03,101 You know, in high school you'd never get a girl like that. 519 00:27:03,176 --> 00:27:05,144 And now you get whoever you want. 520 00:27:07,213 --> 00:27:09,909 I bet you could definitely hit Jamie Pal. 521 00:27:09,982 --> 00:27:12,450 - Definitely. - Okay. Okay. 522 00:27:17,390 --> 00:27:19,085 - Excuse me. - Oh yeah. 523 00:27:19,158 --> 00:27:21,388 You go! Whoo! 524 00:27:21,460 --> 00:27:23,690 - Hey! - Hey! 525 00:27:23,763 --> 00:27:27,062 Look, there is a chance that my flight might be delayed an extra day. 526 00:27:27,133 --> 00:27:29,601 - What are you doing tomorrow? - Um, nothing. 527 00:27:29,669 --> 00:27:32,365 - Do you want to meet for lunch? - You mean like a day date? 528 00:27:32,438 --> 00:27:34,372 Yeah. 529 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:35,907 Great! 530 00:27:35,975 --> 00:27:37,909 Chris! Chris! 531 00:27:37,977 --> 00:27:40,445 - I'll pick you up at noon. - Chris! Chris! 532 00:27:40,513 --> 00:27:43,676 - Chris! Chris! Chris! - Awesome, I'm really... 533 00:27:43,749 --> 00:27:46,980 - I'm busy! - I'm busy! Stupid dick! 534 00:27:47,053 --> 00:27:49,817 - That sounds awesome. I'll see you then. - Bye. 535 00:27:52,124 --> 00:27:53,989 Let's go. 536 00:27:55,862 --> 00:27:57,329 - What was that all about? - Nothing. 537 00:27:57,396 --> 00:27:58,988 It's just an old friend saying hi. 538 00:27:59,065 --> 00:28:00,999 Yeah, well, let's keep it that way. 539 00:28:01,067 --> 00:28:03,968 - It's not a handball. - My handball. 540 00:28:04,036 --> 00:28:06,470 Meow. Meow. 541 00:28:15,514 --> 00:28:19,575 # I used to know you when we were young # 542 00:28:19,652 --> 00:28:23,053 # You were in all my dreams # 543 00:28:23,122 --> 00:28:27,752 # We sat together in period one # 544 00:28:27,827 --> 00:28:30,796 # Fridays at 8:15... # 545 00:28:30,863 --> 00:28:34,822 - Whoa. - # But I will wait for you # 546 00:28:34,901 --> 00:28:39,270 # As long as I need to # 547 00:28:39,338 --> 00:28:43,832 # And if you ever get back to Hackensack # 548 00:28:43,910 --> 00:28:49,644 # I'll be here for you. # 549 00:28:54,987 --> 00:29:00,482 # Jesus Christ our savior was born upon this day # 550 00:29:00,559 --> 00:29:03,494 # To save us all from Satan's power # 551 00:29:03,562 --> 00:29:06,190 # When we were gone astray # 552 00:29:06,265 --> 00:29:07,732 # Oh, tidings... # 553 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,199 Hey! Dumb-ass. 554 00:29:10,236 --> 00:29:11,430 Wake up. 555 00:29:11,504 --> 00:29:12,964 Hey, wake up. 556 00:29:13,506 --> 00:29:15,030 Morning. 557 00:29:18,110 --> 00:29:19,600 Agh! What? 558 00:29:19,679 --> 00:29:21,306 I need you to do me a favor. 559 00:29:21,380 --> 00:29:23,314 What do you want from me?! 560 00:29:23,382 --> 00:29:25,077 I ran into Jamie Palomino last night. 561 00:29:25,151 --> 00:29:27,142 Oh, here we go again. 562 00:29:27,219 --> 00:29:29,483 I'm not the same person I was in high-school, pal. 563 00:29:29,555 --> 00:29:31,216 You'll always be fat to me, Chris. 564 00:29:31,290 --> 00:29:33,520 What do you want from me?! 565 00:29:33,592 --> 00:29:36,060 I need you to detain Samantha. 566 00:29:36,128 --> 00:29:37,686 I could do that. 567 00:29:38,030 --> 00:29:41,329 - Chris, wait! - It's a beautiful day. 568 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:43,459 What about Paris? 569 00:29:43,536 --> 00:29:46,300 Look, Paris can wait. This is important. You don't wanna be 570 00:29:46,372 --> 00:29:48,431 - out of touch with your audience, do you? - No. 571 00:29:48,507 --> 00:29:50,407 No, well then, you need to connect with your audience, 572 00:29:50,476 --> 00:29:51,807 you need to feed off their energy. 573 00:29:51,877 --> 00:29:54,277 After all, they're the ones who're gonna be buying your album. 574 00:29:54,347 --> 00:29:56,281 The problem is where in New Jersey are we gonna find 575 00:29:56,349 --> 00:29:58,476 a proper cross-section of your fans? 576 00:29:59,852 --> 00:30:01,945 - The mall? - A mall! 577 00:30:02,021 --> 00:30:03,545 That's a great idea! 578 00:30:05,124 --> 00:30:07,024 - We have so much in common! - I know! 579 00:30:07,093 --> 00:30:09,027 - God. - Let's do it to it! 580 00:30:09,095 --> 00:30:10,858 Whoa! I am not going with him! 581 00:30:10,930 --> 00:30:14,024 Look, what better way to relate to your fans than to go with one? 582 00:30:14,100 --> 00:30:16,068 In we go. 583 00:30:16,513 --> 00:30:18,569 You're not coming with me? 584 00:30:18,805 --> 00:30:21,003 No, sweetie. You need to do this alone. 585 00:30:21,073 --> 00:30:22,734 - I can't be your crutch. - But l... 586 00:30:22,808 --> 00:30:24,241 Watch your face! 587 00:30:24,310 --> 00:30:26,141 Buckle up! 588 00:30:32,284 --> 00:30:34,252 Great. That's good. 589 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:35,878 That's looking good. 590 00:30:39,592 --> 00:30:42,493 Great, guys. Really good. 591 00:30:44,597 --> 00:30:46,929 Mr. Palamino, how you doing? 592 00:30:46,999 --> 00:30:48,830 Well well well, 593 00:30:48,901 --> 00:30:52,064 if it isn't Mr. Valentine's Day! 594 00:30:52,138 --> 00:30:55,471 This guy, every Valentine's Day, he'd buy Jamie like a dozen roses. 595 00:30:55,541 --> 00:30:58,339 Used to drive all her boyfriends nuts! 596 00:30:58,411 --> 00:31:01,312 Ha! Till we explained, of course, it was just her little friend Chris. 597 00:31:01,380 --> 00:31:03,348 Yeah, I remember that. 598 00:31:03,416 --> 00:31:05,782 You prick. 599 00:31:05,851 --> 00:31:08,752 I see you still have the best Christmas display in town, sir. 600 00:31:08,821 --> 00:31:10,982 - Hey! In the state! - Hey, Chris! 601 00:31:11,057 --> 00:31:12,684 I'll be right out. 602 00:31:12,758 --> 00:31:15,591 So, how'd you lose all that weight? 603 00:31:15,661 --> 00:31:18,255 Like that retard from Subway? 604 00:31:18,330 --> 00:31:19,763 It was great talking to you, sir. 605 00:31:22,201 --> 00:31:24,135 Are you kidding me? 606 00:31:24,203 --> 00:31:26,137 I rented the nicest Porsche in New Jersey. 607 00:31:26,205 --> 00:31:27,934 I'm just gonna play this whole thing aloof 608 00:31:28,007 --> 00:31:30,339 and she's gonna be eating out of the palm of my hand in no time. 609 00:31:30,409 --> 00:31:32,502 Gotta go. 610 00:31:34,413 --> 00:31:37,871 Porsche. Girls must love this. 611 00:31:37,950 --> 00:31:40,578 I hate this stupid thing too. It's a rental. 612 00:31:40,653 --> 00:31:43,588 So ostentatious. It's all they had left. 613 00:31:48,894 --> 00:31:51,886 - God, this place hasn't changed a bit. - I know. 614 00:31:51,964 --> 00:31:53,955 Are you sure that you don't want to go someplace else? 615 00:31:54,033 --> 00:31:57,161 - No, we can't leave. We have history here. - History. 616 00:31:57,236 --> 00:32:01,104 Oh my goodness, I remember you two. 617 00:32:01,173 --> 00:32:04,301 Oh, you're not a chubby bunny anymore. 618 00:32:04,376 --> 00:32:07,402 - Oh, my personal space. - I'll be right back. 619 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,381 I've got a little surprise for you. 620 00:32:10,449 --> 00:32:12,713 Can't wait. 621 00:32:12,785 --> 00:32:14,252 Haha! Chubby bunny! 622 00:32:14,572 --> 00:32:17,084 Thanks for reminding me I was fat. 623 00:32:19,024 --> 00:32:21,083 So why did you disappear on me 10 years ago? 624 00:32:22,328 --> 00:32:24,558 Listen, about that... 625 00:32:24,630 --> 00:32:26,188 Where you that mad at me? 626 00:32:26,265 --> 00:32:29,564 Come on, Jamie. It was like 100 years ago, all right? 627 00:32:29,635 --> 00:32:32,001 I'm not that pathetic little dweeb anymore. 628 00:32:32,071 --> 00:32:35,734 You were never a dweeb, Chris. 629 00:32:35,808 --> 00:32:38,777 - So, tell me about your job. - Oh my God. 630 00:32:38,844 --> 00:32:41,176 You know, once you get over all the glamour, you know, it's... 631 00:32:41,247 --> 00:32:43,010 it's nothing but total insanity. 632 00:32:43,082 --> 00:32:45,642 You know, if it's not Pink calling you, then you got Good Charlotte... 633 00:32:45,718 --> 00:32:49,017 it's Jay Z's birthday party, you know, and I'm totally name-dropping right now 634 00:32:49,088 --> 00:32:51,613 and I'd really like to stop. Mick Jagger. How 'bout you? 635 00:32:51,690 --> 00:32:54,352 You know, what happened to you? How'd you end up working at The Maple? 636 00:32:54,426 --> 00:32:56,291 I don't work at The Maple. 637 00:32:56,362 --> 00:32:58,887 I mean, I work at The Maple but I don't really work at The Maple. 638 00:32:58,964 --> 00:33:00,556 - Yeah. - I'm studying to be a teacher 639 00:33:00,633 --> 00:33:02,123 so I'm living at home and I'm working... 640 00:33:02,201 --> 00:33:04,465 It's the coast. Be right back. 641 00:33:07,573 --> 00:33:09,700 What happened to him? 642 00:33:10,042 --> 00:33:12,374 # Five golden rings # 643 00:33:12,444 --> 00:33:15,311 - # Four calling birds # - I don't care what your mommy said. 644 00:33:15,381 --> 00:33:17,508 # Three French hens, two turtle doves # 645 00:33:17,583 --> 00:33:19,073 Oh, this is gonna be a great song. "Mall People." 646 00:33:19,151 --> 00:33:21,176 "Mall people, they come and go... 647 00:33:21,253 --> 00:33:23,221 small people, they just don't know." 648 00:33:23,289 --> 00:33:25,849 - How's it goin'? - Fantastic. 649 00:33:25,925 --> 00:33:27,392 - How's it going with Jamie? - Treating her like 650 00:33:27,459 --> 00:33:29,791 - every boyfriend she's ever had. - You da man! 651 00:33:29,862 --> 00:33:32,194 - So I wanna run an idea by you. - No. 652 00:33:32,264 --> 00:33:35,597 Since you're trying to hook up with Jamie, what if I went to Paris with Samantha 653 00:33:35,668 --> 00:33:37,363 - instead of you? That way you... - No. 654 00:33:37,436 --> 00:33:38,994 - You haven't heard the whole thing yet! - No. 655 00:33:39,071 --> 00:33:41,335 You know what, just... just think about it and get back to me. 656 00:33:45,711 --> 00:33:48,612 - Oh my God! - I gotta go. 657 00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,252 - So, how's the coast? - Super. 658 00:33:57,323 --> 00:33:59,621 Here we go! 659 00:33:59,692 --> 00:34:02,320 One grilled cheese with ranch on the side 660 00:34:02,394 --> 00:34:06,592 and one Sugar Mountain Supreme for the chubby bunny. 661 00:34:06,665 --> 00:34:09,225 Excuse me, um, 662 00:34:09,301 --> 00:34:11,462 this-this... this isn't gonna work for me. 663 00:34:11,537 --> 00:34:14,131 But this is what you always order. 664 00:34:14,206 --> 00:34:17,141 Yeah. 10 years ago, when I was a whale. 665 00:34:17,209 --> 00:34:19,973 The pancakes are fine. He's just kidding. 666 00:34:20,045 --> 00:34:21,637 What? 667 00:34:23,315 --> 00:34:26,307 - Be more rude! - She's rude! She's rude! 668 00:34:26,385 --> 00:34:28,717 I haven't had sweets in 10 years, okay? Do you know 669 00:34:28,787 --> 00:34:31,221 - what this would do to my stomach? - Relax, little girl. 670 00:34:31,290 --> 00:34:34,282 I'll have the pancakes and you can have my sandwich, okay? 671 00:34:35,494 --> 00:34:37,894 I'll just enjoy this glass of water. 672 00:34:40,699 --> 00:34:42,462 I'm stuffed. 673 00:34:48,574 --> 00:34:51,441 Good times. Good times! 674 00:34:51,510 --> 00:34:52,977 - Yeah. - Yeah. 675 00:34:53,045 --> 00:34:55,036 - Thanks again for lunch. - Oh, I'll get your door. 676 00:34:55,114 --> 00:34:57,139 Oh. Okay. 677 00:34:57,216 --> 00:34:58,649 Shit. 678 00:35:03,889 --> 00:35:05,857 - Whew! - Yeah. 679 00:35:08,227 --> 00:35:10,593 Well, it was great seeing you again. 680 00:35:10,663 --> 00:35:12,096 You too. 681 00:35:12,164 --> 00:35:13,563 Yeah, glad I ran into you last night. 682 00:35:13,632 --> 00:35:15,566 Yeah, it was a surprise. 683 00:35:15,634 --> 00:35:17,568 Big surprise. Yeah. 684 00:35:17,636 --> 00:35:19,228 It's cold out here. 685 00:35:19,305 --> 00:35:21,239 Yeah, it is. It's like the South Pole. 686 00:35:21,307 --> 00:35:24,071 It's like the deep South Pole if there was one. 687 00:35:24,143 --> 00:35:25,872 There isn't, though. 688 00:35:25,944 --> 00:35:27,605 Um, thanks for walking me to my door. 689 00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:30,513 Yeah. Again, it was great seeing you... 690 00:35:30,582 --> 00:35:31,549 again. 691 00:35:31,617 --> 00:35:33,380 - You, too. - Yeah. 692 00:35:33,452 --> 00:35:35,750 Take care. 693 00:35:35,821 --> 00:35:38,051 Yeah, you too. 694 00:35:40,626 --> 00:35:42,389 - Oh. - That's good. 695 00:35:46,265 --> 00:35:48,597 - Take care. - You too. 696 00:36:13,025 --> 00:36:16,290 Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! 697 00:36:16,362 --> 00:36:18,227 What the hell?! 698 00:36:21,266 --> 00:36:23,200 God! 699 00:36:27,740 --> 00:36:29,503 Oh my God! 700 00:36:29,575 --> 00:36:32,203 It's the South Pole! It's the deep South Pole? 701 00:36:32,277 --> 00:36:34,268 It's the South Pole. The deep South Pole! 702 00:36:34,346 --> 00:36:36,371 I don't think there is one, but if there was one 703 00:36:36,448 --> 00:36:38,507 I bet it would be in the south! 704 00:36:47,893 --> 00:36:50,987 - I left my gloves in the car. - Oh. 705 00:36:57,703 --> 00:36:59,170 - There you go. - Thanks. 706 00:37:11,417 --> 00:37:13,214 Hey, look who's here! What's up, Hollywood? 707 00:37:13,285 --> 00:37:14,946 - How the big date go? - It was terrible. 708 00:37:15,020 --> 00:37:17,352 I went in for a kiss, but she wants a hug, okay? 709 00:37:17,423 --> 00:37:19,983 Then I get caught in a sort of kiss-hug limbo type thing. 710 00:37:20,058 --> 00:37:23,926 I don't know what that is, then I ended up shaking her entire body. 711 00:37:23,996 --> 00:37:26,658 So y-you gave her a body shake? 712 00:37:26,732 --> 00:37:30,190 Oh, God! I should've just kissed her! What am I doing? 713 00:37:30,269 --> 00:37:32,760 It looks like you picked up right where you left off. 714 00:37:32,838 --> 00:37:34,396 You're back in the friend zone. 715 00:37:35,441 --> 00:37:36,931 Oh, f-f... 716 00:37:51,623 --> 00:37:53,557 What? 717 00:37:53,625 --> 00:37:55,354 Little problem. 718 00:37:55,661 --> 00:37:58,357 Okay, she's got a bit of a headache. 719 00:37:58,430 --> 00:38:00,557 It's not that bad. Ha! 720 00:38:02,401 --> 00:38:03,459 Oh my God! 721 00:38:03,535 --> 00:38:05,935 What the hell happened to her? 722 00:38:06,004 --> 00:38:08,370 Long story short, she fell. 723 00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:10,271 Samantha, are you okay? 724 00:38:10,342 --> 00:38:12,003 I'm gonna make bubble. 725 00:38:12,077 --> 00:38:13,840 Dude, she's fine! 726 00:38:13,912 --> 00:38:16,710 Look at her. She's having a good time. She's got her toothpaste. 727 00:38:16,782 --> 00:38:19,683 All you had to do was watch her for a few hours. What did you do to her? 728 00:38:19,751 --> 00:38:22,515 Nothing! She's just all loopy from all the Vicodin. 729 00:38:22,588 --> 00:38:24,749 Where did you get the Vicodin? 730 00:38:24,823 --> 00:38:26,791 Mom. 731 00:38:26,859 --> 00:38:28,656 Blueberry! 732 00:38:28,727 --> 00:38:31,093 Okay. I'm gonna kill you. 733 00:38:31,163 --> 00:38:32,892 What?! You said detain her! 734 00:38:32,965 --> 00:38:34,990 - You're a dead man, Mike! - She's detained! 735 00:38:36,668 --> 00:38:38,329 Eww. 736 00:38:38,403 --> 00:38:39,870 - My balls! - Oh. 737 00:38:42,007 --> 00:38:44,339 You're dead. 738 00:38:44,409 --> 00:38:46,343 No, Chris! No! 739 00:38:46,411 --> 00:38:48,345 Chris... 740 00:38:48,413 --> 00:38:50,142 Chris, no! 741 00:38:51,817 --> 00:38:53,409 - My boss! Truce! - Truce! 742 00:38:53,485 --> 00:38:55,112 - Truce! - Okay. 743 00:38:55,187 --> 00:38:56,176 - Hello? - Nyah! 744 00:38:56,255 --> 00:38:58,120 Hey, Chrissy! 745 00:38:58,190 --> 00:39:00,124 How's my future star doing? 746 00:39:00,192 --> 00:39:01,819 Great. She's doing great, sir. 747 00:39:01,894 --> 00:39:04,124 So let me... let me... let me say hi to her. 748 00:39:04,196 --> 00:39:06,391 She's a little incapacitated at the moment. 749 00:39:06,465 --> 00:39:09,559 Oh, a little incapacitated, that's my baby, that's my boy! 750 00:39:09,635 --> 00:39:13,435 Look, when you two get back, I've got this incredible marketing campaign 751 00:39:13,505 --> 00:39:16,133 lined up for the spring quarter. Our number one priority: 752 00:39:16,208 --> 00:39:19,473 - Samantha James! - Awesome. 753 00:39:19,545 --> 00:39:22,275 Three two, one! 754 00:39:22,347 --> 00:39:25,282 Ho-ho-ho. 755 00:39:25,350 --> 00:39:28,649 - Yeah-ha-ha! Yeah! - Merry Christmas! 756 00:39:28,720 --> 00:39:30,813 It's a Palamino Christmas! 757 00:39:30,889 --> 00:39:32,857 Again! 758 00:39:35,627 --> 00:39:37,561 - Hello? - Jamie. 759 00:39:37,629 --> 00:39:39,824 - Hey. - What's up? 760 00:39:39,898 --> 00:39:42,799 Listen, you're never gonna believe this, but I can't get a flight out. 761 00:39:42,868 --> 00:39:45,132 - I'm stuck here another day. - Oh. 762 00:39:45,203 --> 00:39:46,693 I want to apologize for earlier. 763 00:39:46,772 --> 00:39:48,262 - Let me make it up to you. - I taste good. 764 00:39:48,340 --> 00:39:50,308 Do you want to go ice skating? 765 00:39:50,375 --> 00:39:52,866 - I thought you hated ice skating. - I used to, 766 00:39:52,945 --> 00:39:55,846 but you know, I'm actually pretty damn good now. 767 00:39:55,914 --> 00:39:57,176 I'm the MVP in my league, in fact. 768 00:39:57,249 --> 00:39:59,444 Come on, it'll be like old times. 769 00:40:00,986 --> 00:40:03,921 - Hello, Joyce? - Mom? I'm on the phone. 770 00:40:03,989 --> 00:40:07,686 Oh! Well, Chris, what are you doing over at Joyce's? 771 00:40:07,759 --> 00:40:10,592 No, Mom. I'm in the living room, 10 feet away from you 772 00:40:10,662 --> 00:40:12,493 - and I'm on the phone. - Oh. 773 00:40:12,564 --> 00:40:13,963 Well, you know, I was wondering 774 00:40:14,032 --> 00:40:16,762 while I have you on the phone, what would you like for dinner? 775 00:40:16,835 --> 00:40:20,532 We-we have a choice between chicken chow mein or pot roast. 776 00:40:20,606 --> 00:40:22,665 Mom. Please. 777 00:40:22,741 --> 00:40:24,800 Mom! 778 00:40:24,876 --> 00:40:27,470 - Mom! - What is it, peanut? 779 00:40:27,546 --> 00:40:28,706 Where are my ice skates? 780 00:40:28,780 --> 00:40:31,476 Oh, honey, I gave those away years ago. 781 00:40:31,550 --> 00:40:33,484 Are you serious? I need them. 782 00:40:33,552 --> 00:40:36,680 Well, honey, why would I keep them? You're never here. 783 00:40:36,755 --> 00:40:39,280 Besides, you-you weren't terribly good at ice skating. 784 00:40:39,358 --> 00:40:41,292 Well, I'm good now! 785 00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,726 And I need my skates to show off my talents. 786 00:40:43,795 --> 00:40:47,253 Oh, well, honey, I'm sure you can rent a pair. 787 00:40:47,332 --> 00:40:49,892 Besides, you don't have to show off for Jamie. 788 00:40:49,968 --> 00:40:52,459 Just... just be yourself. 789 00:40:52,537 --> 00:40:55,335 # Be yourself # 790 00:40:55,407 --> 00:41:00,208 # Be yourself, be yourself. # 791 00:41:00,278 --> 00:41:03,714 Now, come on! Mikey and I are making snow angels! 792 00:41:05,350 --> 00:41:07,284 I don't want to be myself. 793 00:41:09,688 --> 00:41:11,383 My snow globe collection. 794 00:41:17,696 --> 00:41:21,530 # Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way # 795 00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:23,534 # Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh... # 796 00:41:25,204 --> 00:41:26,698 Stupid rental skates. 797 00:41:26,922 --> 00:41:29,304 You know what? You're a lot better than before. 798 00:41:29,374 --> 00:41:32,275 - I'm wearing figure skates from the '30s. - Here, let me help you. 799 00:41:32,344 --> 00:41:34,209 Okay, I can do it myself, okay? I'm good. I'm good now. 800 00:41:38,450 --> 00:41:40,213 - So... - So... 801 00:41:40,285 --> 00:41:44,346 - How's the love life? - Lame. 802 00:41:44,423 --> 00:41:48,154 - Marty and I broke up a year ago. - Another jerk? 803 00:41:48,226 --> 00:41:50,251 - "Another jerk?" - I'm kidding... 804 00:41:50,328 --> 00:41:52,262 I'm just saying you dated a lot of jerks 805 00:41:52,330 --> 00:41:54,230 back in high school, that's all. 806 00:41:54,299 --> 00:41:57,996 So how about you? You in love with anyone besides yourself? 807 00:41:58,070 --> 00:42:01,198 No. 808 00:42:01,273 --> 00:42:04,071 I've really just been dating, you know? 809 00:42:04,142 --> 00:42:06,406 Just trying to look for my soulmate. 810 00:42:06,478 --> 00:42:07,638 You didn't buy that, did you? 811 00:42:07,713 --> 00:42:09,874 Maybe you should try harder. 812 00:42:09,948 --> 00:42:13,145 Or I could try this. 813 00:42:14,319 --> 00:42:15,809 Oh... 814 00:42:17,389 --> 00:42:20,187 Hey guys, it's Miss Palamino! 815 00:42:20,258 --> 00:42:22,249 Yay! 816 00:42:22,327 --> 00:42:24,386 Hi, guys. 817 00:42:24,463 --> 00:42:27,330 Sarah and Joey and Brett. Hi! 818 00:42:27,399 --> 00:42:30,232 - What, you... you know these kids? - Yeah, I substitute teach 819 00:42:30,302 --> 00:42:32,998 - their class. - Hey, um, we're having a pickup game. 820 00:42:33,071 --> 00:42:35,631 We could use some more bodies. You guys play? 821 00:42:35,707 --> 00:42:38,301 You know Chris is a great player, but he has rentals. 822 00:42:38,376 --> 00:42:41,777 - A good skater can skate in anything. - Yeah! 823 00:42:41,847 --> 00:42:43,678 I'm in. 824 00:42:45,283 --> 00:42:49,515 Okay, guys. Keep it clean. 825 00:42:49,588 --> 00:42:50,748 Shoot it! 826 00:42:50,822 --> 00:42:53,450 Get it in! And goal! 827 00:42:55,494 --> 00:42:58,588 - What was that?! - You're pathetic! 828 00:42:58,663 --> 00:43:00,563 I'm sorry, okay? 829 00:43:00,632 --> 00:43:02,862 It's just these damn rental skates. 830 00:43:02,934 --> 00:43:06,028 It's fine. Just don't cuss in front of the children. 831 00:43:06,104 --> 00:43:07,833 Potty mouth. 832 00:43:09,374 --> 00:43:12,036 Get him, Terry! 833 00:43:14,513 --> 00:43:16,572 He hacked me! 834 00:43:16,648 --> 00:43:18,309 Wanna fight, punk? 835 00:43:18,383 --> 00:43:20,851 - What, are you kidding me? - Fight! 836 00:43:20,919 --> 00:43:23,479 Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 837 00:43:23,555 --> 00:43:26,718 All right, all right, break it up, break it up. 838 00:43:26,792 --> 00:43:29,556 What is your problem? She's just a child. 839 00:43:29,628 --> 00:43:32,028 - That's a girl? - Pussy! 840 00:43:37,736 --> 00:43:41,035 - Yeah! - All right! 841 00:43:45,210 --> 00:43:47,508 Okay, listen. We're getting creamed out there. 842 00:43:47,579 --> 00:43:50,047 - It's his fault. - You suck, Brander. 843 00:43:50,115 --> 00:43:52,413 - Hey. - I brand you "Suckster." 844 00:43:52,484 --> 00:43:54,281 - Oh my... that's enough. - Hey. 845 00:43:54,352 --> 00:43:56,843 Now Chris is trying his best here. 846 00:43:56,922 --> 00:43:59,516 Sorry, Miss Palamino, but he's just so terrible. 847 00:43:59,591 --> 00:44:02,788 - I'm not terrible. - Suckster! Suckster! Suckster! Suckster! 848 00:44:02,861 --> 00:44:05,193 - Maybe you should call it a day. - No, I can do this! 849 00:44:05,263 --> 00:44:07,697 - Suckster! Suckster. Suckster! Suckster... - Hey! 850 00:44:07,766 --> 00:44:09,529 I'm a really good skater, little girl! 851 00:44:09,601 --> 00:44:13,059 Watch! You might learn something! 852 00:44:13,138 --> 00:44:14,833 I'm taking this one. 853 00:44:18,777 --> 00:44:21,211 Me? 854 00:44:28,653 --> 00:44:31,383 Chris, no! 855 00:44:43,168 --> 00:44:46,604 No! 856 00:44:48,273 --> 00:44:50,935 No slap shots! 857 00:45:02,654 --> 00:45:04,519 Suckster! Suckster! 858 00:45:04,589 --> 00:45:07,615 Suckster! Suckster! Suckster! 859 00:45:07,692 --> 00:45:09,785 Suckster! Suckster! 860 00:45:09,861 --> 00:45:13,456 - What a schmuck. - Don't worry, Chris. You're gonna be fine. 861 00:45:21,191 --> 00:45:22,964 Well, it looks like I was 862 00:45:23,041 --> 00:45:25,737 - in the right place at the right time, Miss... - Yeah. 863 00:45:25,810 --> 00:45:28,711 Palamino? Jamie Palamino. 864 00:45:28,780 --> 00:45:31,510 - Dusty Dinkleman? - Yeah. 865 00:45:31,583 --> 00:45:34,108 Actually, I go by "Dusty Lee" now, but yeah. 866 00:45:34,185 --> 00:45:36,847 - "Dutty Nee?" - Thanks for saving me. 867 00:45:36,922 --> 00:45:39,390 Yay, Dusty! 868 00:45:39,457 --> 00:45:41,618 - You remember Chris Brander? - Eeh. 869 00:45:41,693 --> 00:45:44,025 - Boo... - Oh, yeah. 870 00:45:44,095 --> 00:45:46,655 Seen better days, I guess, pal? 871 00:45:46,731 --> 00:45:49,029 Hey, listen, I don't want to make this weird, 872 00:45:49,100 --> 00:45:51,000 but you look incredible. 873 00:45:51,069 --> 00:45:53,936 - So do you. - Really glad you dropped in. 874 00:46:03,014 --> 00:46:04,948 Cool... 875 00:46:06,952 --> 00:46:10,217 Sorry about that, buddy. 876 00:46:10,288 --> 00:46:12,119 Here we go. 877 00:46:14,159 --> 00:46:16,150 Late '20s. Male Caucasian 878 00:46:16,227 --> 00:46:19,390 with multiple lacerations on lower mandible and possible concussion. 879 00:46:19,464 --> 00:46:21,125 Transport en route, over. 880 00:46:21,199 --> 00:46:23,258 - 10-4. - So, Jamie, 881 00:46:23,335 --> 00:46:26,031 - you still living in town? - Oh, yeah, I just moved back. 882 00:46:26,104 --> 00:46:28,038 Oh, really? Me too. 883 00:46:28,106 --> 00:46:30,472 - It's a small world. - No kidding. 884 00:46:30,542 --> 00:46:31,804 Jeez, you know, 885 00:46:31,876 --> 00:46:34,709 I cannot get over how great you look. 886 00:46:34,779 --> 00:46:37,373 Oh, pfft. Me? Look at you! 887 00:46:37,449 --> 00:46:39,644 Yeah, I guess my skin cleared up 888 00:46:39,718 --> 00:46:41,379 and I lost my stammer, 889 00:46:41,453 --> 00:46:43,580 but I still play a mean guitar. 890 00:46:43,655 --> 00:46:46,055 I'm actually only doing this part-time till I can make it in music. 891 00:46:46,124 --> 00:46:49,321 You know, Chris is in the music business too. He could probably help you. 892 00:46:49,394 --> 00:46:52,158 Oh, hey. Easy there, Gretzky. 893 00:46:54,632 --> 00:46:58,193 You know, we should hang out, you know, have lunch sometime? 894 00:46:59,237 --> 00:47:02,035 I would love to have lunch. 895 00:47:02,107 --> 00:47:03,802 Um, where can I give you my phone number? 896 00:47:03,875 --> 00:47:05,399 Just write it on this. 897 00:47:10,181 --> 00:47:12,342 Jamie Palamino. 898 00:47:12,417 --> 00:47:14,009 This is bullshit! 899 00:47:14,085 --> 00:47:15,746 You haven't aged a peep. 900 00:47:19,624 --> 00:47:23,355 What do you know about Dusty Dinkleman? 901 00:47:23,428 --> 00:47:24,759 - You mean Dusty Lee? - Yeah. 902 00:47:24,829 --> 00:47:26,797 Works in the building, drives ambulance. Why? 903 00:47:26,865 --> 00:47:30,392 Well check this out. So I'm out with Jamie again... 904 00:47:30,468 --> 00:47:32,129 Another day date? 905 00:47:32,203 --> 00:47:34,671 Yes. Anyway, 906 00:47:34,739 --> 00:47:36,366 we're having a great time 907 00:47:36,441 --> 00:47:38,739 and then Dusty shows up out of nowhere, 908 00:47:38,810 --> 00:47:41,244 and then Jamie gives him her number. 909 00:47:41,312 --> 00:47:44,679 Hey, didn't Dusty have like a huge crush on Jamie? 910 00:47:45,085 --> 00:47:47,149 Yeah, you got some 911 00:47:47,218 --> 00:47:49,516 competition there, Chris. I mean, Dusty is a really nice guy. 912 00:47:49,587 --> 00:47:52,078 Yeah, well Jamie doesn't date nice guys. 913 00:47:52,157 --> 00:47:53,749 She puts them in the friend zone 914 00:47:53,825 --> 00:47:55,690 and then tortures the shit out of them. 915 00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:58,194 I don't know. Jamie's come a long way since high school. 916 00:47:58,263 --> 00:48:00,857 I think she might be maturing. 917 00:48:00,932 --> 00:48:02,456 Maturing? 918 00:48:04,135 --> 00:48:06,103 So that's why she went with Dusty. 919 00:48:06,171 --> 00:48:08,036 She wants a sensitive guy... 920 00:48:08,106 --> 00:48:10,040 more like the old me. 921 00:48:10,108 --> 00:48:11,871 Well, if she wants Mr. Rogers, 922 00:48:11,943 --> 00:48:13,877 then I'm going to show her 923 00:48:13,945 --> 00:48:15,810 the biggest pussy she's ever seen. 924 00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:17,745 Yeah. 925 00:48:17,816 --> 00:48:20,011 Okay, we're done. Now... 926 00:48:20,085 --> 00:48:22,519 you're gonna need to wear this for the next few days 927 00:48:22,587 --> 00:48:25,579 until those stitches are ready to come out. 928 00:48:25,657 --> 00:48:28,353 And here you go. Just like your old yearbook picture. 929 00:48:30,495 --> 00:48:33,555 # Feel my love from afar. # 930 00:48:33,631 --> 00:48:35,758 Come in! 931 00:48:35,834 --> 00:48:38,530 - Can I come in? - I just said that. 932 00:48:40,772 --> 00:48:42,865 I brought magazines. 933 00:48:42,941 --> 00:48:44,909 Ugh, these are old. 934 00:48:44,976 --> 00:48:48,104 - Flowers? - Those are daisies. 935 00:48:48,179 --> 00:48:51,410 - How about snacks? - Carbs? Are you kidding me? 936 00:48:51,483 --> 00:48:52,916 I can't eat that crap. 937 00:48:52,984 --> 00:48:55,179 I'm just trying to be helpful. 938 00:48:55,253 --> 00:48:58,916 Well you're not. So vamoose. 939 00:48:58,990 --> 00:49:02,323 - I guess I'll just leave you now. - No, wait wait. 940 00:49:02,393 --> 00:49:04,918 I'm sorry I'm being such a biatch. 941 00:49:04,996 --> 00:49:07,487 It's just that I'm supposed to be in Paris and I'm not, 942 00:49:07,565 --> 00:49:10,625 and I'm going out of my mind with boredom! 943 00:49:10,702 --> 00:49:13,603 I mean, my Sidekick broke and l... 944 00:49:13,671 --> 00:49:17,835 I haven't had sex in, like, forever. 945 00:49:17,909 --> 00:49:19,501 And I'm so horny. 946 00:49:19,577 --> 00:49:22,569 I'm horny. 947 00:49:22,647 --> 00:49:25,013 Wait a minute. 948 00:49:26,251 --> 00:49:30,153 - How old are you? - I'm 22... 20... 19... 949 00:49:30,221 --> 00:49:32,086 I'm... I'm 18. 950 00:49:32,157 --> 00:49:34,057 Eighteen. 951 00:49:36,661 --> 00:49:39,687 So do you really have my poster on your wall? 952 00:49:39,764 --> 00:49:43,222 - Yeah. - Do you ever like... 953 00:49:43,301 --> 00:49:45,235 All the time. 954 00:49:45,303 --> 00:49:47,032 How many times in a day? 955 00:49:47,105 --> 00:49:49,733 - Eight. - Eight?! 956 00:49:54,145 --> 00:49:56,272 Eight? Oh my God, that's hot. 957 00:49:56,347 --> 00:49:59,783 - You're hot. - I know, I know. 958 00:50:02,587 --> 00:50:05,420 - Oh, ow. - Are you okay? 959 00:50:05,490 --> 00:50:07,549 Oh, my back is killing me. 960 00:50:07,625 --> 00:50:10,093 Oh, I could give you a massage. 961 00:50:10,161 --> 00:50:12,459 Oh, would you mind? 962 00:50:12,530 --> 00:50:15,465 Not at all. 963 00:50:15,533 --> 00:50:19,094 - I'm naked. - You're naked. 964 00:50:19,170 --> 00:50:21,229 Do you have any oil? 965 00:50:21,306 --> 00:50:23,831 Right back. 966 00:50:28,513 --> 00:50:29,946 What took you so long? 967 00:50:33,117 --> 00:50:35,642 - Show me what you've got, baby. - Okay. 968 00:50:35,720 --> 00:50:37,654 Baby, ooh! 969 00:50:37,722 --> 00:50:39,622 Ooh, more more! 970 00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:43,752 - Okay, enough. Enough! - Okay. 971 00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:46,296 Oh, yeah. 972 00:50:50,802 --> 00:50:52,633 Merry Christmas, neighbor. 973 00:50:59,010 --> 00:51:00,944 - Ooh, yeah. - Mikey likey, 974 00:51:01,012 --> 00:51:04,607 - Mikey likey, Mikey likey, Mikey likey... - Yeah... 975 00:51:06,451 --> 00:51:08,442 Oh! Where the hell have you been?! 976 00:51:08,519 --> 00:51:10,282 I was getting you food. 977 00:51:10,355 --> 00:51:12,585 - Are you wearing braces? - It's not braces. 978 00:51:12,657 --> 00:51:15,455 It's a retainer and it's not that bad. 979 00:51:15,526 --> 00:51:19,155 - Ha, you look like a doofus! - Doofus! 980 00:51:20,298 --> 00:51:22,698 Doofus! Doofus! 981 00:51:22,767 --> 00:51:25,895 Doofus! Doofus! Doof... 982 00:51:27,605 --> 00:51:29,232 Chris? 983 00:51:29,307 --> 00:51:31,935 Mommy. 984 00:51:32,010 --> 00:51:34,843 So pretty. 985 00:51:34,912 --> 00:51:38,040 Honey, look what just came for you. 986 00:51:38,116 --> 00:51:40,880 It's a "Get well soon" card from Jamie. 987 00:51:44,188 --> 00:51:46,713 - Boo. - Oh yeah? 988 00:51:46,791 --> 00:51:48,281 What do you think of that? 989 00:51:48,359 --> 00:51:51,123 It's hugs and kisses, dude. Mom writes that on my cards. 990 00:51:51,195 --> 00:51:54,460 That's because I love you both so much. 991 00:51:55,933 --> 00:51:57,730 Thanks, Mommy. 992 00:52:06,244 --> 00:52:08,337 Oh, God. 993 00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:17,988 Truce! 994 00:52:19,123 --> 00:52:21,114 Total pussy. 995 00:52:21,192 --> 00:52:24,127 You're the biggest pussy on planet Earth. 996 00:52:24,195 --> 00:52:26,288 It's you. 997 00:52:29,367 --> 00:52:32,165 - Hello? - Jamie! 998 00:52:32,236 --> 00:52:35,330 - Chris! How are you feeling? - So much better. 999 00:52:35,406 --> 00:52:37,067 Listen, I know it's Christmas Eve, 1000 00:52:37,141 --> 00:52:40,201 - but do you have any plans tonight? - No. 1001 00:52:40,278 --> 00:52:42,075 Well... 1002 00:52:42,146 --> 00:52:44,080 the revival theater in town 1003 00:52:44,148 --> 00:52:46,139 is showing Nicholas Sparks's "The Notebook." 1004 00:52:48,353 --> 00:52:51,322 - Hello? I'm on the phone. - Really you want to see "The Notebook"? 1005 00:52:51,389 --> 00:52:53,687 Yes, because I love sentimental tear-jerkers. 1006 00:52:53,758 --> 00:52:55,658 I'm gonna friggin' puke. 1007 00:52:55,727 --> 00:52:57,524 Just a second. 1008 00:53:02,233 --> 00:53:04,758 - You are so dead. Do you hear me? - Whatever, dude. 1009 00:53:04,836 --> 00:53:06,963 - What're you doing over there? - Faggot. 1010 00:53:07,038 --> 00:53:08,767 - Nothing. - That's my call-waiting. One second. 1011 00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:10,307 - So, anyway... - Hello? 1012 00:53:10,375 --> 00:53:12,741 - Hey, Jamie. It's Dusty. - Hey, Dusty. 1013 00:53:12,810 --> 00:53:13,970 Hey, listen, just... 1014 00:53:15,813 --> 00:53:17,405 Dude, I think she left you hanging. 1015 00:53:17,482 --> 00:53:20,747 It's probably just an important business call. Get off the phone. 1016 00:53:20,818 --> 00:53:23,981 - What, the bar ran out of curly fries? - Get off the phone. 1017 00:53:24,055 --> 00:53:26,114 Dude, are you gonna boink Jamie tonight? 1018 00:53:26,190 --> 00:53:28,181 Yes. Are you happy now? 1019 00:53:28,259 --> 00:53:31,057 All right. 1020 00:53:31,129 --> 00:53:34,121 - Dude, "The Notebook"'s so gay. - Get off the phone! 1021 00:53:34,198 --> 00:53:37,690 - Sorry about that. - That's okay. 1022 00:53:37,769 --> 00:53:39,999 - So anyway, what do you say? - About what? 1023 00:53:40,071 --> 00:53:42,005 Going to a movie tonight? Then maybe later 1024 00:53:42,073 --> 00:53:45,474 we can go for some... herbal tea. 1025 00:53:45,543 --> 00:53:47,841 Okay, sure. 1026 00:53:47,912 --> 00:53:50,244 Um... You know what? You're on my way to the theater. 1027 00:53:50,314 --> 00:53:51,804 Why don't I pick you up at like 7:30? 1028 00:53:51,883 --> 00:53:53,350 - It's a date. - Homo. 1029 00:53:53,418 --> 00:53:55,147 - Bye for now. - Bye. 1030 00:53:58,790 --> 00:54:02,055 Mom! Mom! Truce! 1031 00:54:03,928 --> 00:54:06,591 Paris, here we come! 1032 00:54:08,466 --> 00:54:11,629 - But I'm not ready to play a gig. - Of course you are. 1033 00:54:11,702 --> 00:54:14,637 No. No. 1034 00:54:14,705 --> 00:54:16,138 No! 1035 00:54:16,207 --> 00:54:20,667 - This is a bad idea, Chris. - God, I'm so stupid! 1036 00:54:20,745 --> 00:54:24,078 - No you're not, baby. - Here I am, trying to nurture this artist, 1037 00:54:24,148 --> 00:54:28,141 yet you're this pop bubblegum sensation, 1038 00:54:28,219 --> 00:54:31,211 and that's okay. 1039 00:54:31,289 --> 00:54:33,223 Paris, here we come! 1040 00:54:34,792 --> 00:54:37,488 But I am an artist. I am an artist! 1041 00:54:37,562 --> 00:54:40,292 Hey! I am an artist! 1042 00:54:40,364 --> 00:54:43,094 - Let's go do this. - Are you ready for this? 1043 00:54:43,167 --> 00:54:45,965 I was born ready, bitch. 1044 00:54:46,037 --> 00:54:48,198 - I'm really excited about this. - Yeah, me too. 1045 00:54:48,272 --> 00:54:50,536 - Yeah. - Okay, let's do this. 1046 00:54:50,608 --> 00:54:54,305 Yeah. 1047 00:54:54,378 --> 00:54:57,506 - Hey! Wait! You're not coming with me? - Of course I am. 1048 00:54:57,582 --> 00:54:59,209 Mike's just giving you a ride to the gig. 1049 00:54:59,283 --> 00:55:01,717 I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna do some administrative work 1050 00:55:01,786 --> 00:55:03,378 and I'm gonna meet you there. 1051 00:55:03,454 --> 00:55:05,115 It's open mic night at The Coffee House. 1052 00:55:05,189 --> 00:55:07,521 Coffee House is lame, dude. Come on... 1053 00:55:07,592 --> 00:55:09,116 all right! 1054 00:55:09,193 --> 00:55:11,184 Think fast. Boop! 1055 00:55:17,502 --> 00:55:19,436 # And I swear # 1056 00:55:19,504 --> 00:55:21,495 - # By the moon and the stars... # - Jesus. 1057 00:55:21,572 --> 00:55:24,905 - # In the skies... # - Looks like the Michael Bolton starter kit. 1058 00:55:24,976 --> 00:55:28,173 # I'll be there # 1059 00:55:28,246 --> 00:55:31,079 # And I swear # 1060 00:55:31,148 --> 00:55:34,640 # Like a shadow that's by your side. # 1061 00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:36,744 Showtime. 1062 00:55:47,698 --> 00:55:50,064 Come on! How long does it... 1063 00:55:52,370 --> 00:55:54,338 - Mistletoe. - Hello. 1064 00:55:54,405 --> 00:55:56,999 - Oh my God! - Jamie! How are you? 1065 00:55:57,074 --> 00:56:00,339 You've grown into such a beautiful young woman, 1066 00:56:00,411 --> 00:56:02,709 hasn't she, Chris? 1067 00:56:05,683 --> 00:56:07,378 Ding-dong. 1068 00:56:08,986 --> 00:56:11,352 Dusty. Hey. Why? 1069 00:56:11,422 --> 00:56:13,913 Are you kidding, man? I love "The Notebook". 1070 00:56:13,991 --> 00:56:15,652 I mean, listen, I know it might sound 1071 00:56:15,726 --> 00:56:17,660 a little corny, maybe even a little femme, 1072 00:56:17,728 --> 00:56:19,389 but I find something so resplendent 1073 00:56:19,463 --> 00:56:22,227 in the simplicity of Nicholas Sparks' writing, you know what I mean? 1074 00:56:22,300 --> 00:56:25,736 Nice outfit, by the way. Rock and roll. 1075 00:56:25,803 --> 00:56:27,634 Carol? 1076 00:56:27,705 --> 00:56:30,265 Oh my God. 1077 00:56:30,341 --> 00:56:32,502 - Carol... - Dusty, oh my goodness. 1078 00:56:32,577 --> 00:56:35,307 - This is old-home week. - Oh, absolutely. 1079 00:56:35,379 --> 00:56:39,406 - Is it okay that Dusty came? - Oh, it's awesome that Dusty came. 1080 00:56:39,483 --> 00:56:41,474 Thank you. - Okay. 1081 00:56:41,552 --> 00:56:43,281 ...in the hospital. We got... - Dust! 1082 00:56:43,354 --> 00:56:45,822 Hey, let's hit the road. 1083 00:56:45,890 --> 00:56:47,482 Well, you kids have fun. 1084 00:56:47,558 --> 00:56:49,253 Oh, Carol, why don't you come join us? 1085 00:56:49,327 --> 00:56:52,353 She's vacuuming. 1086 00:56:52,430 --> 00:56:55,763 W-well, I'd love to, but l... I wouldn't want to impose. 1087 00:56:55,833 --> 00:56:59,929 - Oh, no imposition at all! - No. 1088 00:57:00,004 --> 00:57:02,097 We'd love to have you, wouldn't we, Chris? 1089 00:57:02,173 --> 00:57:05,267 Yeah, rad. Awesome. 1090 00:57:05,343 --> 00:57:07,106 Mom's coming. That's good. 1091 00:57:07,178 --> 00:57:09,544 - There's a group now. - Yes! 1092 00:57:09,614 --> 00:57:12,208 - It was us. It was us. - Oh, my darling. 1093 00:57:12,283 --> 00:57:14,877 Oh my sweetheart. 1094 00:57:14,952 --> 00:57:17,443 I love you so much. 1095 00:57:23,995 --> 00:57:28,125 - How much time do we have? - I'm not sure. 1096 00:57:28,199 --> 00:57:30,667 Last time it was no more than five minutes. 1097 00:57:32,536 --> 00:57:34,902 I love you, angel. 1098 00:57:37,274 --> 00:57:38,935 What happened to me? 1099 00:57:39,010 --> 00:57:41,035 This is so gay. 1100 00:57:48,686 --> 00:57:52,417 Oh, Dusty... 1101 00:57:57,430 --> 00:57:59,161 Son of a bitch! 1102 00:57:59,964 --> 00:58:03,058 Peanut. 1103 00:58:06,804 --> 00:58:09,830 No. 1104 00:58:11,909 --> 00:58:15,811 # Forgiveness... # 1105 00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:17,814 Show us your tits! 1106 00:58:17,882 --> 00:58:21,010 - # Is more than saying sorry. # - Hey! Ashlee Simpson! 1107 00:58:21,085 --> 00:58:22,382 Forgive this! 1108 00:58:23,454 --> 00:58:25,388 Dusty, what kind of car is this? 1109 00:58:25,456 --> 00:58:28,789 Carol, this little Japanese princess here is called the Prius. 1110 00:58:28,859 --> 00:58:30,588 I think it's so neat that you kids 1111 00:58:30,661 --> 00:58:32,595 care about the environment. 1112 00:58:32,663 --> 00:58:36,258 - I love the environment. - But honey, don't you drive 1113 00:58:36,333 --> 00:58:39,234 a Range Rover? Aren't those bad? 1114 00:58:39,303 --> 00:58:41,396 Well, I had a really nice time tonight, 1115 00:58:41,472 --> 00:58:43,030 and I hope we can do it again soon. 1116 00:58:43,107 --> 00:58:45,234 Hey, Dusty, thanks for comin'. 1117 00:58:45,309 --> 00:58:47,436 Oh, listen, man, it was my pleasure, really. 1118 00:58:47,511 --> 00:58:50,446 Thank you all for having me. It was so nice. 1119 00:58:50,514 --> 00:58:52,573 And hey, before I forget, make sure 1120 00:58:52,650 --> 00:58:54,982 that you rinse that thing at least twice a day, okay? 1121 00:58:55,052 --> 00:58:58,180 Your mouth is a disgusting open cesspool 1122 00:58:58,255 --> 00:59:00,485 with germs and bacteria. Now put that back! 1123 00:59:00,558 --> 00:59:02,719 - Christopher, put that back. - Put it back! 1124 00:59:04,428 --> 00:59:05,895 Thanks. 1125 00:59:05,963 --> 00:59:07,988 Hey, anyone want some cocoa? 1126 00:59:08,065 --> 00:59:10,898 Oh, Carol, you are so sweet! 1127 00:59:10,968 --> 00:59:13,903 And I would love to do that, except I volunteered at the hospital 1128 00:59:13,971 --> 00:59:15,996 so that Paul could spend Christmas Eve with his family. 1129 00:59:16,073 --> 00:59:18,769 - So, I kinda gotta get going. - Aw. 1130 00:59:18,843 --> 00:59:20,640 That's a drag. God! 1131 00:59:20,711 --> 00:59:22,542 Hey, Jamie, what about you? 1132 00:59:24,482 --> 00:59:26,916 - Ready? - Give me a Cougar roar. Cougar roar! 1133 00:59:28,586 --> 00:59:29,883 Aw. 1134 00:59:29,954 --> 00:59:33,685 Cookie Monster says the Cougars are 1135 00:59:33,758 --> 00:59:36,921 great big cookies 1136 00:59:36,994 --> 00:59:39,087 at the top of the jar. 1137 00:59:39,163 --> 00:59:42,030 Ladies and Gentleman, the amazing Chris Brander. 1138 00:59:42,099 --> 00:59:44,158 Oh my gosh, I remember this. 1139 00:59:44,235 --> 00:59:48,604 He juggles three tennis balls, but gets bored very quickly 1140 00:59:48,672 --> 00:59:51,038 and wants something else. 1141 00:59:51,864 --> 00:59:52,965 Clear! 1142 00:59:54,466 --> 00:59:55,541 Clear! 1143 00:59:57,414 --> 00:59:59,575 No kissing! 1144 00:59:59,650 --> 01:00:01,982 That's right, Jamie Palamino, 1145 01:00:02,052 --> 01:00:04,077 you're my best friend! 1146 01:00:04,155 --> 01:00:06,089 I love you, Chris Brander. Mwha! 1147 01:00:06,157 --> 01:00:08,921 Mwha, mwha, mwha! 1148 01:00:08,993 --> 01:00:12,759 Oh, your mom's car. You see, this is more like you. 1149 01:00:12,830 --> 01:00:15,924 Yeah, I'm gonna take it back to L.A. 1150 01:00:19,436 --> 01:00:21,996 - What? - Guess what I found? 1151 01:00:22,072 --> 01:00:25,667 - No, the tape I made you? - 1995. 1152 01:00:25,743 --> 01:00:28,268 - "The Summer of Like." - Put it in. 1153 01:00:29,580 --> 01:00:33,209 # Dun-nun-de-dun de-dun-dun-dun # 1154 01:00:43,794 --> 01:00:46,058 Oh, God. 1155 01:00:46,130 --> 01:00:48,121 - Oh! - Oh my God, 1156 01:00:48,199 --> 01:00:50,224 I just peed a little. 1157 01:00:50,301 --> 01:00:53,828 - Good night, guys. - Good night, Chris. 1158 01:00:57,608 --> 01:00:59,838 What's up? 1159 01:00:59,910 --> 01:01:01,741 - Little problem. - Where are you? 1160 01:01:01,812 --> 01:01:03,609 - The Metal Shop. - What?! 1161 01:01:06,684 --> 01:01:08,743 - That's it, bitch. It's on! - Come on! 1162 01:01:09,155 --> 01:01:12,380 I'm gonna kill you! Not so funny now, bitch?! 1163 01:01:12,456 --> 01:01:14,424 - Not so funny now?! - I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 1164 01:01:14,491 --> 01:01:17,392 # Christmas, Christmas, the happiest day of the year... # 1165 01:01:17,461 --> 01:01:19,486 Kudos on the Christmas cookies, Mom. 1166 01:01:19,563 --> 01:01:21,861 Thanks, pumpkin. I'll be back in an hour. 1167 01:01:21,932 --> 01:01:25,595 # Where sleigh bells ringing and go jingle-ling # 1168 01:01:25,669 --> 01:01:28,001 # As we're dashing through the snow # 1169 01:01:30,341 --> 01:01:33,902 # Christmas, Christmas # 1170 01:01:33,978 --> 01:01:36,640 # So, Jesus, hear our song... # 1171 01:01:36,714 --> 01:01:38,978 - What's up, Dude? - Quiet, she's sleeping. 1172 01:01:39,049 --> 01:01:40,710 I'm going over to Jamie's. 1173 01:01:40,784 --> 01:01:42,581 - Did you boink her yet? - Shut it. 1174 01:01:42,653 --> 01:01:44,644 If she wakes up, tell her I went to meet Bono. 1175 01:01:44,722 --> 01:01:47,282 - You're gonna meet Bono? I wanna come. - No, you walking void, 1176 01:01:47,358 --> 01:01:50,156 it's a lie, but if she wakes up just tell her I'll be back in a bit. 1177 01:01:50,227 --> 01:01:52,195 - Fine! - Fine! 1178 01:01:53,597 --> 01:01:55,224 - I love you. - I love you too. 1179 01:02:03,874 --> 01:02:07,002 # Christmas, Christmas # 1180 01:02:07,077 --> 01:02:09,409 - # The happiest day of the year # - Mike! 1181 01:02:12,049 --> 01:02:14,847 Oh, God! 1182 01:02:14,919 --> 01:02:19,913 # Spreading Christmas cheer # 1183 01:02:19,990 --> 01:02:21,924 # We wish you a Merry Christmas # 1184 01:02:21,992 --> 01:02:24,324 # We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year # 1185 01:02:24,395 --> 01:02:26,488 This is pathetic! 1186 01:02:26,563 --> 01:02:30,932 # Good tidings we bring, to you and your kin # 1187 01:02:31,001 --> 01:02:33,026 # Good tidings for Christmas # 1188 01:02:33,103 --> 01:02:34,866 - # And a Happy New Year # - Oh shit! 1189 01:02:58,095 --> 01:03:00,029 Thank you, guys. Thank you. 1190 01:03:00,097 --> 01:03:02,031 Encore! Encore! Encore! 1191 01:03:02,099 --> 01:03:04,033 Okay, all right, one more time. 1192 01:03:04,101 --> 01:03:06,535 - One more time. Okay. - Oh yeah! 1193 01:03:06,603 --> 01:03:10,369 Here we go. You guys, you know, 1194 01:03:10,441 --> 01:03:12,068 Christmas is the time for giving. 1195 01:03:12,142 --> 01:03:14,440 And the most precious gift that you can give... 1196 01:03:14,511 --> 01:03:17,708 - is your heart. - Aww. 1197 01:03:17,781 --> 01:03:20,249 Jamie Palamino, this is my gift to you. 1198 01:03:20,317 --> 01:03:24,151 # When Jamie smiles # 1199 01:03:24,221 --> 01:03:28,817 # It takes me miles # 1200 01:03:28,892 --> 01:03:32,919 # From where I feel unsure # 1201 01:03:34,965 --> 01:03:38,059 # When Jamie smiles # 1202 01:03:38,135 --> 01:03:41,263 # I realize # 1203 01:03:41,338 --> 01:03:45,434 # She's no ordinary girl # 1204 01:03:49,179 --> 01:03:52,307 # No ordinary girl # 1205 01:04:05,095 --> 01:04:07,791 - Where's Chris?! - I'll never tell you anything! 1206 01:04:07,865 --> 01:04:10,959 Oh yeah? 1207 01:04:13,237 --> 01:04:16,729 - He's with his lover. - # Deck the halls with bows of holly # 1208 01:04:19,309 --> 01:04:22,745 # 'Tis the season to be jolly # 1209 01:04:26,750 --> 01:04:29,184 Dude, Jamie's outside. What are you doing up here? 1210 01:04:29,253 --> 01:04:31,244 I'm getting my butt kicked by Dinkleman, 1211 01:04:31,321 --> 01:04:32,811 that's what I'm doing up here. 1212 01:04:32,890 --> 01:04:36,382 You see him play that guitar? It's like he has 15 fingers. 1213 01:04:36,460 --> 01:04:39,861 Everybody loves him. I can't compete with this guy. 1214 01:04:39,930 --> 01:04:43,366 You can't compete with this... are you kidding me? 1215 01:04:43,434 --> 01:04:46,597 You're Chris Brander! You're Hollywood. You date models! 1216 01:04:46,670 --> 01:04:49,298 He's Jersey. He skis in his jeans! 1217 01:04:49,373 --> 01:04:51,000 It's Dinkleman. 1218 01:04:51,075 --> 01:04:53,441 It's Dusty Dinkleman. 1219 01:04:54,812 --> 01:04:57,474 - Dinkleman. - Dinkleman. 1220 01:04:57,548 --> 01:05:00,346 - Dinkleman. - Dinkleman! 1221 01:05:00,417 --> 01:05:03,409 - Dinkleman. - Dinkleman's going down. 1222 01:05:03,487 --> 01:05:06,081 Dinkleman... is going way down. 1223 01:05:06,156 --> 01:05:07,919 Atta boy. 1224 01:05:07,991 --> 01:05:10,357 Now you get out there and you tell Jamie how you feel! 1225 01:05:10,427 --> 01:05:13,294 - Let's do this. - Atta boy. 1226 01:05:13,363 --> 01:05:16,958 Good ol' Chris Brander, ladies and gentlemen! 1227 01:05:17,034 --> 01:05:20,197 #... Iooked down on the Feast of Stephen # 1228 01:05:20,270 --> 01:05:23,262 # When the snow lay round about # 1229 01:05:23,340 --> 01:05:25,808 # Deep and crisp and even # 1230 01:05:25,876 --> 01:05:28,538 # Brightly shone the moon that night # 1231 01:05:28,612 --> 01:05:30,671 # Though the frost was cruel # 1232 01:05:32,950 --> 01:05:34,941 What the... 1233 01:05:38,255 --> 01:05:42,453 # It's the most wonderful time of the year... # 1234 01:05:42,526 --> 01:05:44,653 The jig is up! Run! 1235 01:05:44,728 --> 01:05:46,696 You son of a bitch! 1236 01:05:46,763 --> 01:05:50,290 Samantha! You're here! Shit! 1237 01:05:50,367 --> 01:05:52,460 There she is. There's the little slut 1238 01:05:52,536 --> 01:05:54,299 you've been banging behind my back! 1239 01:05:54,371 --> 01:05:56,635 - Me? - Not you, wrinkles. Her! 1240 01:05:56,707 --> 01:05:59,198 - Who are you? - Oh... 1241 01:05:59,276 --> 01:06:02,040 - I'm Samantha James, bitch! - Don't shove me! 1242 01:06:02,112 --> 01:06:04,910 - You're a whore! Santa's little whore! - Get off! 1243 01:06:04,982 --> 01:06:06,950 - Santa's little whore! - Cat fight! 1244 01:06:08,619 --> 01:06:10,644 - Get out! - You're gonna pay for this. 1245 01:06:10,721 --> 01:06:12,279 I'm gonna get you fired! 1246 01:06:12,356 --> 01:06:14,824 Hope you enjoy unemployment, dickweed! 1247 01:06:14,892 --> 01:06:16,655 Get off me, God boy! 1248 01:06:16,727 --> 01:06:19,924 But Samantha, What about the words to your song? "Forgiveness"! 1249 01:06:19,997 --> 01:06:22,625 Forgive this, asshole. 1250 01:06:22,699 --> 01:06:25,293 Oh... 1251 01:06:25,369 --> 01:06:28,031 I hate this town! 1252 01:06:28,105 --> 01:06:30,665 Call me. 1253 01:06:40,050 --> 01:06:41,574 - Chris? - Yeah. 1254 01:06:41,652 --> 01:06:45,144 - Little problem. - Hm? 1255 01:06:46,223 --> 01:06:47,952 Duck! 1256 01:06:51,361 --> 01:06:55,058 - Ho-ho-ho! Ho-ho! - No! Not Santa! 1257 01:07:10,214 --> 01:07:12,341 Whoa! Flaming reindeer. 1258 01:07:17,387 --> 01:07:20,879 You don't see that every day. 1259 01:07:23,393 --> 01:07:25,918 Hey Chris, it's Samantha. I just talked to my sponsor 1260 01:07:25,996 --> 01:07:27,896 and I owe you an apology. 1261 01:07:27,965 --> 01:07:29,626 It's Samantha... Call me... 1262 01:07:29,700 --> 01:07:31,463 It's Samantha! 1263 01:07:31,535 --> 01:07:34,368 Hello, Joyce? 1264 01:07:34,438 --> 01:07:37,134 Joyce? 1265 01:07:43,447 --> 01:07:45,381 Go away. 1266 01:07:45,449 --> 01:07:47,610 Go away! 1267 01:07:49,353 --> 01:07:51,617 Mom, I said I have a tummy ache. 1268 01:07:53,924 --> 01:07:55,915 Well that was an interesting Christmas. 1269 01:07:55,993 --> 01:07:58,655 I'm sorry. I'll pay for everything. 1270 01:07:58,729 --> 01:08:00,458 I'm not here to collect. 1271 01:08:00,530 --> 01:08:02,122 What are you doing here? 1272 01:08:02,199 --> 01:08:05,100 I want to talk to the guy who wrote me this. 1273 01:08:11,461 --> 01:08:14,708 - Want some more? - No. Gallon's my limit. 1274 01:08:14,778 --> 01:08:17,042 Oh, excuse me if I'm not one of your stick models. 1275 01:08:17,114 --> 01:08:19,947 "I'm Chris Brander. I hang out with Good Charlotte and Pink. 1276 01:08:20,017 --> 01:08:22,542 - I go to Jay Z's birthday party..." - Okay, okay. All right. 1277 01:08:22,619 --> 01:08:25,247 - Thank you very much. I get it. I was lame. - Yeah. 1278 01:08:25,322 --> 01:08:29,122 Actually, I was nervous, but, more importantly, 1279 01:08:29,192 --> 01:08:31,160 does this hat make me look fat? 1280 01:08:35,832 --> 01:08:38,392 So... 1281 01:08:38,468 --> 01:08:41,369 is your life everything you'd hoped it'd be? 1282 01:08:41,438 --> 01:08:44,464 I always thought that if I had a huge career 1283 01:08:44,541 --> 01:08:46,805 and famous clients and tons of money 1284 01:08:46,877 --> 01:08:48,902 that I'd be happy. 1285 01:08:48,979 --> 01:08:51,004 And the truth is... 1286 01:08:51,081 --> 01:08:53,015 I was right. 1287 01:08:53,083 --> 01:08:55,517 I love it. Especially the money. 1288 01:08:55,585 --> 01:08:58,748 You're so bad! 1289 01:08:58,822 --> 01:09:00,585 What about you? 1290 01:09:00,657 --> 01:09:02,249 Let's put you in the hot seat? 1291 01:09:02,326 --> 01:09:04,123 Where do you see yourself in 10 years? 1292 01:09:05,295 --> 01:09:08,753 Um, well, I see myself teaching. 1293 01:09:08,832 --> 01:09:12,199 And I see myself getting married 1294 01:09:12,269 --> 01:09:13,861 and raising a family. 1295 01:09:16,473 --> 01:09:17,906 What? 1296 01:09:21,111 --> 01:09:23,443 It's gettin' late. 1297 01:09:23,513 --> 01:09:25,913 Why don't I take you home? 1298 01:09:25,982 --> 01:09:27,916 Or... 1299 01:09:27,984 --> 01:09:29,918 I could sleep over like old times. 1300 01:09:47,904 --> 01:09:49,599 God. 1301 01:09:54,711 --> 01:09:55,962 Hi. 1302 01:10:06,390 --> 01:10:08,017 - Here we are. - Yeah. 1303 01:10:08,091 --> 01:10:10,787 Yeah. 1304 01:10:21,638 --> 01:10:23,230 This is it. 1305 01:10:23,306 --> 01:10:26,298 You're finally gonna have sex with Jamie Palamino. 1306 01:10:26,376 --> 01:10:30,642 Oh God, look at that face. Look at that body. 1307 01:10:30,714 --> 01:10:33,979 Why are you smiling like a friggin' idiot? 1308 01:10:34,050 --> 01:10:36,382 Go on, make a move. 1309 01:10:36,453 --> 01:10:38,614 Make a move! 1310 01:10:40,657 --> 01:10:42,591 What's on your mind? 1311 01:10:42,659 --> 01:10:44,524 Bush. 1312 01:10:45,695 --> 01:10:48,721 President Bush, The First Family, really. 1313 01:10:56,440 --> 01:10:59,307 Dude, you're killing me! 1314 01:10:59,376 --> 01:11:02,573 This is the girl of your dreams. Ravish her! 1315 01:11:02,646 --> 01:11:04,773 But what if she doesn't want to be ravished? 1316 01:11:04,848 --> 01:11:07,316 What if she wants to stay friends? Friends don't ravish each other? 1317 01:11:07,384 --> 01:11:09,682 Friends watch "New Year's Rockin' Eve." 1318 01:11:09,753 --> 01:11:11,448 I wonder who's hosting this year? 1319 01:11:11,521 --> 01:11:14,752 Chris, can you put your feet on mine? They're freezing. 1320 01:11:14,825 --> 01:11:16,486 Yeah. 1321 01:11:16,560 --> 01:11:18,653 Hell yeah. Her feet aren't even cold. 1322 01:11:18,728 --> 01:11:20,593 This is it. 1323 01:11:20,664 --> 01:11:23,963 Don't even think about how weird tomorrow's gonna be. 1324 01:11:27,170 --> 01:11:31,197 - Chris. - Oh, God. Oh, God. 1325 01:11:31,274 --> 01:11:33,799 What're you doing? Where're you going? 1326 01:11:33,877 --> 01:11:36,243 - Is everything all right? - Oh, everything's fine. 1327 01:11:36,313 --> 01:11:39,009 Yeah. You okay? You need another blanket or anything? 1328 01:11:39,082 --> 01:11:40,743 No, I'm fine. 1329 01:11:40,817 --> 01:11:43,945 You're not gonna make a move, are you? 1330 01:11:44,020 --> 01:11:46,648 - Good night, Jamie. - Good night, Chris. 1331 01:11:46,723 --> 01:11:49,521 You don't deserve a penis. 1332 01:11:51,795 --> 01:11:53,558 God, and we had this great night 1333 01:11:53,630 --> 01:11:55,655 and we were laughing 1334 01:11:55,732 --> 01:11:58,166 and we were showing each other old pictures and... 1335 01:11:58,235 --> 01:12:00,135 - Did he try anything? - No! 1336 01:12:00,203 --> 01:12:03,570 - Did you try anything? - No, but I put myself out there. 1337 01:12:03,640 --> 01:12:05,972 I mean, I wore the sexy white shirt 1338 01:12:06,042 --> 01:12:09,534 and I did the whole cold-feet move and we slept in the same bed. 1339 01:12:09,613 --> 01:12:12,343 What the hell is wrong with you? I mean, why didn't you sleep with her? 1340 01:12:12,415 --> 01:12:14,280 - Oh, I know. I had her. - I mean, are you two 1341 01:12:14,351 --> 01:12:16,342 on the same menstrual cycle yet or what? 1342 01:12:16,419 --> 01:12:20,116 I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. 1343 01:12:20,190 --> 01:12:22,522 Maybe I just don't compare to these L.A. Girls. 1344 01:12:22,592 --> 01:12:24,856 Look, the timing just wasn't right, you know? 1345 01:12:24,928 --> 01:12:29,331 I'm... I'm laying there. I'm about to make my move 1346 01:12:29,399 --> 01:12:31,765 and then suddenly it just hits me. 1347 01:12:31,835 --> 01:12:33,769 Where's this going? 1348 01:12:33,837 --> 01:12:35,862 What happens after we sleep together? 1349 01:12:35,939 --> 01:12:37,930 Does she move to L.A.? Do I move back here? 1350 01:12:38,008 --> 01:12:40,977 Jesus, Dude. I thought you just wanted to sleep with her. 1351 01:12:41,044 --> 01:12:43,604 Maybe he just wants to be friends. 1352 01:12:43,680 --> 01:12:46,376 Maybe he's gay. 1353 01:12:46,449 --> 01:12:48,974 I can't just sleep with Jamie Palamino. We have a history. 1354 01:12:49,052 --> 01:12:51,179 - We're... we're... we're... we're... - Friends. 1355 01:12:53,223 --> 01:12:55,157 God damn it! 1356 01:12:55,225 --> 01:12:57,386 I'm right back in high school again, you know? 1357 01:12:57,460 --> 01:13:01,157 I gotta follow my own advice. I gotta just walk away. 1358 01:13:01,231 --> 01:13:02,664 No, put me on the 3:00. 1359 01:13:02,732 --> 01:13:04,666 The sooner I get out of here, the better. 1360 01:13:04,734 --> 01:13:07,601 - You sure about this? - No. 1361 01:13:07,671 --> 01:13:10,196 # When Janice smiles... # 1362 01:13:10,273 --> 01:13:13,208 - Janice? - # I realize # 1363 01:13:13,276 --> 01:13:16,336 # She's no ordinary # 1364 01:13:16,413 --> 01:13:19,439 # Girl. # 1365 01:13:26,590 --> 01:13:28,854 Hey listen. I gotta hang out 1366 01:13:28,925 --> 01:13:30,688 with my friends over there, okay? 1367 01:13:30,760 --> 01:13:33,661 - I'll talk to you tonight. - Whoo! 1368 01:13:35,432 --> 01:13:38,697 - What's up, homies? - You tell me. 1369 01:13:38,768 --> 01:13:40,599 - What's with the nurse? - Oh, Janice. 1370 01:13:40,670 --> 01:13:43,104 Another bee in the hive, my friend, 1371 01:13:43,173 --> 01:13:46,199 - just another bee. - Well, what about Jamie? 1372 01:13:46,276 --> 01:13:48,039 What about her? I mean, hey, 1373 01:13:48,111 --> 01:13:50,602 it's great, right? Two biggest geeks back in the day 1374 01:13:50,680 --> 01:13:52,875 now finally have a shot with the hottest chick in high school? 1375 01:13:52,949 --> 01:13:55,713 - You can't write that stuff, my friend. - Hey, are you kidding me? 1376 01:13:55,785 --> 01:13:58,379 Oh, come on, man. Cut the nice guy routine. 1377 01:13:58,455 --> 01:14:00,616 I know what you're up to and I am all for it. 1378 01:14:00,690 --> 01:14:03,124 I mean it is gonna be sweet revenge on Jamie Palamino 1379 01:14:03,193 --> 01:14:05,161 for keeping us in the friend zone all those years. 1380 01:14:05,228 --> 01:14:07,822 Oh, yeah, you wish you were in the friend zone. 1381 01:14:07,897 --> 01:14:10,195 I was in the friend zone. Friend zone's mine. 1382 01:14:10,266 --> 01:14:13,133 - Dusty, popcorn's ready. - Copy that, I'm mobile. 1383 01:14:13,203 --> 01:14:14,966 - Listen, I gotta run. - The man's juice! 1384 01:14:15,038 --> 01:14:16,972 You guys have a nice time. It's been nice seeing you. 1385 01:14:17,040 --> 01:14:20,203 Have fun with Jamie. I know I will. Clark, always a pleasure. 1386 01:14:20,276 --> 01:14:22,267 - Dinkleman. - Son of a bitch. 1387 01:14:24,247 --> 01:14:26,442 So we're looking at day cares. 1388 01:14:26,516 --> 01:14:29,041 And Darla's got this one picked out for TJ and it's great. 1389 01:14:29,119 --> 01:14:31,679 And you know, don't get me wrong, I want the best for my kid. 1390 01:14:31,755 --> 01:14:33,586 I mean he deserves the best 1391 01:14:33,657 --> 01:14:37,286 but Tiny Tots is just too... oh, Mariah Carey! 1392 01:14:41,064 --> 01:14:42,998 What the hell are you doing?! 1393 01:14:43,066 --> 01:14:45,626 This is a Pontiac Grand Prix! 1394 01:14:45,702 --> 01:14:47,636 I'm sorry, okay?! 1395 01:14:47,704 --> 01:14:50,400 But I can't let Dinkleman get away with this! 1396 01:14:50,473 --> 01:14:54,204 I refuse to sit back and let Jamie get used by another asshole! 1397 01:14:54,277 --> 01:14:57,735 You could've asked! L.A. Guys are so dramatic. 1398 01:14:57,814 --> 01:15:00,282 - I'm sorry! - Okay. 1399 01:15:02,585 --> 01:15:06,453 - # Christmas, Christmas... # - Oh my God. 1400 01:15:06,523 --> 01:15:09,651 You know, one good snowfall and you won't see any of this. 1401 01:15:09,726 --> 01:15:13,719 # Where sleigh bells ringing and go jingle-ling # 1402 01:15:13,797 --> 01:15:17,130 # Spreading Christmas cheer. # 1403 01:15:17,200 --> 01:15:19,293 Hi, Mr. Palamino. How are you? 1404 01:15:19,369 --> 01:15:21,667 Come to destroy the rest of the house? 1405 01:15:21,738 --> 01:15:24,434 Look, I'm really sorry about yesterday. 1406 01:15:24,507 --> 01:15:28,068 - Ho-ho-ho. - And that. 1407 01:15:28,144 --> 01:15:31,136 Look, I know you hate me, but I need to speak with Jamie. Where is she? 1408 01:15:31,214 --> 01:15:34,115 - She's gone off with Mr. Lee. - Dry cleaner? 1409 01:15:34,184 --> 01:15:37,483 - No. Dusty, you jackass. - Where are they? 1410 01:15:45,962 --> 01:15:50,797 - # I've been workin' on the railroad... # - No, Chris! This way. 1411 01:15:50,867 --> 01:15:54,200 # All the livelong day # 1412 01:15:54,270 --> 01:15:57,398 # I've been workin' on the railroad # 1413 01:15:57,474 --> 01:16:01,205 # Just to pass the time away # 1414 01:16:01,277 --> 01:16:05,008 # Can't you hear the whistle blowing? 1415 01:16:05,081 --> 01:16:08,073 # Rise so early in the morn' # 1416 01:16:08,151 --> 01:16:11,609 - Dinkleman! - # Can't you hear the captain shouting? # 1417 01:16:11,688 --> 01:16:14,316 - Chris, what're you doing here? - I need to talk to you. 1418 01:16:17,894 --> 01:16:18,986 Dusty! 1419 01:16:20,296 --> 01:16:21,388 Yes! 1420 01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:25,597 - I really need to speak with you! - This next number 1421 01:16:25,668 --> 01:16:28,296 - is for your favorite teacher and mine. - Let's go. 1422 01:16:28,371 --> 01:16:30,498 She put this wonderful concert together for all of us. 1423 01:16:30,573 --> 01:16:33,701 Give a big round of applause to Miss Jamie Palamino. 1424 01:16:35,779 --> 01:16:38,873 # When Jamie smiles # 1425 01:16:38,948 --> 01:16:41,109 # It takes me miles # 1426 01:16:43,419 --> 01:16:44,681 # From where I've... # 1427 01:16:44,754 --> 01:16:47,154 God, I still can't believe he wrote me that song. 1428 01:16:47,223 --> 01:16:50,283 Oh I can. He's been working on that song since high school, remember? 1429 01:16:50,360 --> 01:16:52,123 It's like the stalker's national anthem. 1430 01:16:52,195 --> 01:16:54,425 Not to mention I already heard that song today, 1431 01:16:54,497 --> 01:16:56,522 only it was Janice's eyes that made him smile. 1432 01:16:56,599 --> 01:16:59,397 - Janice? Who's Janice? - A nurse with really big boobs 1433 01:16:59,469 --> 01:17:02,870 that works at the medical center. A girl I saw him kissing earlier tonight. 1434 01:17:02,939 --> 01:17:05,567 Dusty's a Jersey player, Jamie! 1435 01:17:05,642 --> 01:17:07,041 He's out for revenge on you 1436 01:17:07,110 --> 01:17:09,078 for putting him in the friend zone in high school. 1437 01:17:09,145 --> 01:17:10,874 What are you talking about? 1438 01:17:10,947 --> 01:17:12,915 The guy's looking for the anger bang! 1439 01:17:12,982 --> 01:17:15,917 Amazing! That's exactly what he said about you. 1440 01:17:15,985 --> 01:17:18,180 - Don't you see what's happening here? - Oh, I don't know. 1441 01:17:18,254 --> 01:17:20,449 The guy's just out-playing me, that's all. 1442 01:17:20,523 --> 01:17:22,684 Oh, it's about you! Now he's out-playing you! 1443 01:17:22,759 --> 01:17:24,693 - W-what am I, a game? - No! 1444 01:17:24,761 --> 01:17:26,524 Would you guys like to join us in a carol 1445 01:17:26,596 --> 01:17:29,292 - to celebrate the birth of our Lord? - No! 1446 01:17:33,603 --> 01:17:37,403 My God, don't! Dusty! Don't! 1447 01:17:37,473 --> 01:17:39,839 - Dinkleman! - What is the matter with you? 1448 01:17:39,909 --> 01:17:41,900 This is a Christmas concert for children! 1449 01:17:41,978 --> 01:17:44,538 - You liar! - Suckster's not your boyfriend, is he? 1450 01:17:44,614 --> 01:17:48,015 - No, he's not! - 'Cause we like Dusty. 1451 01:17:48,084 --> 01:17:50,245 Dusty! Dusty! Dusty! Dusty! 1452 01:17:50,320 --> 01:17:52,049 Dusty! Dusty! Dusty...! 1453 01:17:53,957 --> 01:17:56,448 I'm being framed! I'm being framed! 1454 01:17:57,727 --> 01:18:00,753 - Dusty! - Dinkleman! 1455 01:18:00,830 --> 01:18:03,799 Man, when you come back to town, you come back to town! 1456 01:18:05,324 --> 01:18:07,598 Look, don't sweat it. 1457 01:18:07,670 --> 01:18:09,695 W-w-we'll go to The Maple tonight 1458 01:18:09,772 --> 01:18:11,399 You can apologize to Jamie 1459 01:18:11,474 --> 01:18:14,932 and everything will be just... just peachy. 1460 01:18:15,011 --> 01:18:17,309 Okay, yep, good. Thanks, Clark, for everything. 1461 01:18:17,380 --> 01:18:19,780 See you in another 10 years. Guess not. 1462 01:18:21,985 --> 01:18:24,385 How'd it go with Jamie last night? You boink her? 1463 01:18:24,454 --> 01:18:26,786 That would be a no. 1464 01:18:26,856 --> 01:18:29,120 Raise you hand if your brother's a homo! 1465 01:18:30,460 --> 01:18:32,860 All right. Keep in touch! 1466 01:18:37,300 --> 01:18:41,600 You believe that? Not one taxi, not one. 1467 01:18:41,671 --> 01:18:44,139 Stupid town. I gotta take the bus! 1468 01:18:44,207 --> 01:18:45,799 Dude, bus sucks! 1469 01:18:47,443 --> 01:18:50,469 Yes! I am outta here! 1470 01:18:52,315 --> 01:18:56,149 So long, Sucktown! Kiss my ass! 1471 01:18:57,787 --> 01:19:00,221 Hey, Mr. Bus Driver Man. 1472 01:19:00,290 --> 01:19:01,951 Hey... 1473 01:19:02,025 --> 01:19:05,517 pull my finger. Come on, pull my finger. 1474 01:19:28,084 --> 01:19:31,485 - Aw! - Yoo-hoo! 1475 01:19:31,554 --> 01:19:34,990 - Great. - Jamie! 1476 01:19:35,058 --> 01:19:37,686 - Whoa, miss, miss. W-w-whoa. - What? What, what, wha... 1477 01:19:37,760 --> 01:19:40,024 - what, Chris? What do you want? - I just want to apologize. 1478 01:19:40,096 --> 01:19:41,961 I'm sorry. I was out of line, okay? 1479 01:19:42,031 --> 01:19:44,363 - You're an asshole. - Oh, my... I was... 1480 01:19:44,434 --> 01:19:46,925 I'm gonna get you a cab and take you home. 1481 01:19:47,003 --> 01:19:50,131 - She's so sensitive! - You blew it. I'm winning. 1482 01:19:50,206 --> 01:19:52,470 - You're the Devil. - So go ahead, just go sleep it off. 1483 01:19:52,542 --> 01:19:54,533 You'll be right as rain in the morning, brother. 1484 01:19:54,610 --> 01:19:57,477 Chris, you're drunk! Go home! 1485 01:19:57,547 --> 01:20:00,072 I'm not drunk. What's this? 1486 01:20:02,532 --> 01:20:03,669 "Simply Dusty" 1487 01:20:04,587 --> 01:20:06,578 Is there any other kind? That's adorable. 1488 01:20:06,656 --> 01:20:08,590 Do you know what else is adorable? You two. 1489 01:20:08,658 --> 01:20:11,525 Hey! Stop bringing Dusty into your problems, okay? 1490 01:20:11,594 --> 01:20:13,528 Dusty and I are fine. 1491 01:20:13,596 --> 01:20:16,190 - Dusty and I are friends. - Right! 1492 01:20:16,265 --> 01:20:19,029 - Not for too long, I hope. - Yeah... 1493 01:20:19,102 --> 01:20:20,535 Wait, what? 1494 01:20:20,603 --> 01:20:22,434 Slow down. What did you just say? 1495 01:20:22,505 --> 01:20:24,700 Jamie, listen, I've been meaning to talk to you. 1496 01:20:24,774 --> 01:20:26,708 L... about our relationship. 1497 01:20:26,776 --> 01:20:29,336 Maybe we could take the next step or something? 1498 01:20:29,412 --> 01:20:30,879 Dusty, can I be honest with you? 1499 01:20:30,947 --> 01:20:33,575 - I think you're a really nice guy. - Thank you. 1500 01:20:33,649 --> 01:20:35,913 I think you're funny and charming and sweet, 1501 01:20:35,985 --> 01:20:38,977 and I just don't have those feelings for you. 1502 01:20:39,055 --> 01:20:40,920 - You're kidding. - No. 1503 01:20:45,528 --> 01:20:48,622 Okay, 'cause... cause I wrote you that song and everything, 1504 01:20:48,698 --> 01:20:50,529 you know, and I worked really hard on it 1505 01:20:50,600 --> 01:20:52,864 and what kind of girl would you be if you didn't put out for the guy that wrote 1506 01:20:52,935 --> 01:20:54,926 you that song, you know what mean? 1507 01:20:57,373 --> 01:20:59,841 F-this. I'm mobile. 1508 01:21:05,448 --> 01:21:07,712 I'm gonna miss him! 1509 01:21:09,485 --> 01:21:10,945 What? 1510 01:21:14,490 --> 01:21:16,424 Get off me, Chris! Why are you here? 1511 01:21:16,492 --> 01:21:18,187 Why do you keep messing with my head? 1512 01:21:18,261 --> 01:21:20,252 I messed with your head for three days. 1513 01:21:20,329 --> 01:21:23,298 You've been torturing me since the sixth grade! 1514 01:21:23,366 --> 01:21:25,129 So that's what this is about? 1515 01:21:25,201 --> 01:21:27,965 Because I wouldn't screw you in high school? Get over yourself! 1516 01:21:28,037 --> 01:21:31,438 Oh, after years of you being the biggest tease, 1517 01:21:31,507 --> 01:21:34,067 trust me, I'm so over myself. 1518 01:21:34,143 --> 01:21:35,770 Oh, so now I'm the tease. 1519 01:21:35,845 --> 01:21:37,369 I practically throw myself at you 1520 01:21:37,447 --> 01:21:39,039 the other night and you did nothing! 1521 01:21:39,115 --> 01:21:42,676 And now you know how it feels. 1522 01:21:42,752 --> 01:21:44,617 I'm outta here. 1523 01:21:44,687 --> 01:21:46,985 Yeah, there you go. Just walk away like you always do! 1524 01:21:47,056 --> 01:21:48,717 Oh, no no no. I'm-I'm not walking away. 1525 01:21:48,791 --> 01:21:50,816 I'm running back to my great life in L.A.! 1526 01:21:50,893 --> 01:21:53,293 - Great. Well, have fun. - Oh, you have fun... 1527 01:21:53,362 --> 01:21:55,557 being the girl who peaked in high school. 1528 01:21:56,740 --> 01:21:58,566 You slap like a cheerleader. 1529 01:21:58,634 --> 01:22:00,761 Bye, Chris. 1530 01:22:02,638 --> 01:22:04,606 And stay out! 1531 01:22:09,679 --> 01:22:11,306 I've always wanted to say that. 1532 01:23:21,717 --> 01:23:23,207 How did you get in here? 1533 01:23:23,286 --> 01:23:25,584 My bodyguard let me in. 1534 01:23:25,655 --> 01:23:28,283 I was making cookies. 1535 01:23:28,357 --> 01:23:30,018 Oh, I was trying to be all domesticated 1536 01:23:30,092 --> 01:23:32,322 like that skank you were banging behind my back. 1537 01:23:32,395 --> 01:23:33,885 Please leave me alone. 1538 01:23:34,964 --> 01:23:36,898 No, sh-sh-sh-sh! 1539 01:23:36,966 --> 01:23:38,593 Hugs and kisses! 1540 01:23:38,668 --> 01:23:41,967 It's all good, baby, it's all good. 1541 01:23:42,038 --> 01:23:45,098 By making me jealous on purpose you inspire me to write the best songs, 1542 01:23:45,174 --> 01:23:46,903 you know, full of angst and hate! 1543 01:23:46,976 --> 01:23:49,706 You like that. You and I are gonna be 1544 01:23:49,779 --> 01:23:51,770 the greatest musical manager team 1545 01:23:51,847 --> 01:23:54,179 since Jessica Simpson and her father... 1546 01:23:54,250 --> 01:23:56,275 only we get to "mreow" and they can't, 1547 01:23:56,352 --> 01:23:58,820 'cause it's illegal. I looked it up. 1548 01:23:58,888 --> 01:24:02,483 This is the new and improved "Forgiveness." 1549 01:24:08,564 --> 01:24:12,295 # Forgiveness # 1550 01:24:12,368 --> 01:24:15,531 # Is more than sayin' sorry # 1551 01:24:15,605 --> 01:24:18,039 Are you sorry? Ha ha! 1552 01:24:19,809 --> 01:24:21,743 # Forgiveness. # 1553 01:24:24,413 --> 01:24:26,108 - No. - No? 1554 01:24:26,182 --> 01:24:29,117 - No more. - But I've forgiven you! 1555 01:24:29,185 --> 01:24:31,312 - It's just like the song... - Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh... 1556 01:24:31,387 --> 01:24:34,686 This isn't about you. 1557 01:24:34,757 --> 01:24:37,123 It's cool, you can have other girls. I like girls. 1558 01:24:37,193 --> 01:24:38,990 Darla! 1559 01:24:39,061 --> 01:24:41,188 I don't want other girls. 1560 01:24:41,264 --> 01:24:42,856 I want one girl. 1561 01:24:44,200 --> 01:24:46,225 - That's not you. - Hmph. 1562 01:24:51,841 --> 01:24:53,308 Look. I'll call... 1563 01:24:56,212 --> 01:24:57,679 Ouch. 1564 01:25:01,717 --> 01:25:04,049 - Why don't you like me? - It's a little hard to answer 1565 01:25:04,120 --> 01:25:06,054 with a taser in my balls! 1566 01:25:06,122 --> 01:25:08,886 This is about Santa's little whore, isn't it? 1567 01:25:12,561 --> 01:25:14,529 Yeah, it's go time. 1568 01:25:14,597 --> 01:25:15,894 Hey, hey, hey! It's not go time! 1569 01:25:15,965 --> 01:25:17,899 This isn't how it works, Samantha. 1570 01:25:17,967 --> 01:25:21,425 You can't force or-or torture someone into liking you. 1571 01:25:21,504 --> 01:25:23,062 The big speech. 1572 01:25:23,139 --> 01:25:24,868 No! You just have to put yourself out there 1573 01:25:24,940 --> 01:25:25,872 and hope that they like you back. 1574 01:25:25,941 --> 01:25:28,000 This isn't a game! This is my life! 1575 01:25:28,077 --> 01:25:29,942 Oh, yeah, well, this is my life! 1576 01:25:30,012 --> 01:25:31,877 Okay? I'm sorry. 1577 01:25:31,947 --> 01:25:34,973 I'm not the most boring person ever! 1578 01:25:35,051 --> 01:25:36,746 Okay? I'm sorry I'm not poor! 1579 01:25:37,787 --> 01:25:39,550 I'm sorry... 1580 01:25:39,622 --> 01:25:42,955 I'm sorry I don't have a fat ass! 1581 01:25:43,025 --> 01:25:45,721 I'm sorry I'm not... where're you going? 1582 01:25:45,795 --> 01:25:50,425 # Missed the last train home # 1583 01:25:53,903 --> 01:25:59,307 # Birds pass by to tell me that I'm not alone # 1584 01:25:59,375 --> 01:26:02,708 # Well, I'm pushing myself to finish this part... # 1585 01:26:02,778 --> 01:26:04,302 Hey! Hey, where is she? 1586 01:26:04,380 --> 01:26:09,113 # I handle a lot walking on this # 1587 01:26:09,185 --> 01:26:12,382 # It's in your eyes, open your eyes # 1588 01:26:12,455 --> 01:26:16,323 # Open eyes, open your eyes # 1589 01:26:16,392 --> 01:26:18,087 # Open your eyes # 1590 01:26:18,160 --> 01:26:20,025 # Open your eyes. # 1591 01:26:20,096 --> 01:26:22,030 Hi. 1592 01:26:22,098 --> 01:26:24,293 Jamie. Look, Jamie! 1593 01:26:26,135 --> 01:26:28,228 I said a lot of really crappy things the other night 1594 01:26:28,304 --> 01:26:31,273 and I'm sorry about that. 1595 01:26:31,340 --> 01:26:33,808 I haven't been a very good friend to you and I'm sorry, okay? 1596 01:26:33,876 --> 01:26:37,869 I just... the truth is I'm-I'm afraid to be your friend 1597 01:26:37,947 --> 01:26:39,812 'cause I'm always gonna want more. 1598 01:26:40,916 --> 01:26:42,577 But then I got to thinking that-that 1599 01:26:42,651 --> 01:26:45,415 I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all. 1600 01:26:48,824 --> 01:26:50,758 You know what? That's a lie too. 1601 01:26:55,131 --> 01:26:56,962 Why are you back here? 1602 01:26:58,934 --> 01:27:00,765 Because I want to take you on a date. 1603 01:27:02,772 --> 01:27:05,570 And I don't care if it's in the day or at night 1604 01:27:05,641 --> 01:27:09,008 or whenever, as long as it's a real date. 1605 01:27:09,078 --> 01:27:12,343 And I want to tell you how beautiful I think you are inside and out. 1606 01:27:13,449 --> 01:27:15,644 And I want to have babies with you 1607 01:27:15,718 --> 01:27:18,744 and I want to marry you and I love you. 1608 01:27:20,156 --> 01:27:22,249 Jamie, I always have. 1609 01:27:28,364 --> 01:27:30,491 Sorry. Just,... 1610 01:27:30,566 --> 01:27:32,534 20 years all at once! 1611 01:27:54,824 --> 01:27:55,848 Unbelievable! 1612 01:27:55,925 --> 01:27:57,984 Suckster's making out with Mrs. P! 1613 01:27:58,060 --> 01:28:00,255 What is she thinking? 1614 01:28:00,329 --> 01:28:03,457 - Hey, Sarah, do you want my last cookie? - Oh, thanks, Brett! 1615 01:28:03,532 --> 01:28:05,659 Joey, do you want some of my cookie? 1616 01:28:05,734 --> 01:28:07,326 Don't mind if I do. 1617 01:28:07,403 --> 01:28:10,566 - You're such a good friend, Brett. - The bestest! 1618 01:28:12,007 --> 01:28:12,803 Shit! 1619 01:28:13,142 --> 01:28:15,770 # I swear # 1620 01:28:15,845 --> 01:28:18,780 # By the moon and the stars # 1621 01:28:18,848 --> 01:28:21,646 # In the skies # 1622 01:28:21,717 --> 01:28:24,515 # I'll be there # 1623 01:28:24,587 --> 01:28:27,249 # And I swear # 1624 01:28:27,323 --> 01:28:29,382 # Like the shadow # 1625 01:28:29,458 --> 01:28:33,360 # That's by your side # 1626 01:28:33,429 --> 01:28:36,796 # I'll be there # 1627 01:28:36,866 --> 01:28:39,994 # For better or worse # 1628 01:28:40,069 --> 01:28:42,970 # Till death do us part # 1629 01:28:43,038 --> 01:28:48,135 # I'll love you with every beat of my heart # 1630 01:28:48,210 --> 01:28:51,702 # And I swear # 1631 01:29:01,924 --> 01:29:05,485 # I'll give you everything # 1632 01:29:05,561 --> 01:29:07,688 # I can # 1633 01:29:07,763 --> 01:29:09,628 # I'll build your dreams # 1634 01:29:09,698 --> 01:29:13,259 # With these two hands # 1635 01:29:13,335 --> 01:29:16,065 # We'll hang some memories # 1636 01:29:16,138 --> 01:29:19,904 # On the walls # 1637 01:29:19,975 --> 01:29:22,443 - # And when # - # And when # 1638 01:29:22,511 --> 01:29:27,448 # Just the two of us are there # 1639 01:29:27,516 --> 01:29:29,814 # You won't have to ask # 1640 01:29:29,885 --> 01:29:33,480 # If I still care # 1641 01:29:33,556 --> 01:29:37,117 # 'Cause as the time turns the page # 1642 01:29:37,192 --> 01:29:42,357 # My love won't age at all # 1643 01:29:42,431 --> 01:29:45,525 - # And I swear # - # And I swear # 1644 01:29:45,601 --> 01:29:48,434 # By the moon and the stars # 1645 01:29:48,504 --> 01:29:51,234 # In the skies # 1646 01:29:51,307 --> 01:29:54,333 - # I'll be there # - # I'll be there # 1647 01:29:54,410 --> 01:29:57,004 - # And I swear # - # And I swear # 1648 01:29:57,079 --> 01:30:02,711 # Like the shadow that's by your side # 1649 01:30:02,785 --> 01:30:06,380 - # I'll be there # - # I'll be there # 1650 01:30:06,455 --> 01:30:09,219 # For better or worse # 1651 01:30:09,291 --> 01:30:12,055 # Till death do us part # 1652 01:30:12,127 --> 01:30:17,463 # I'll love you with every beat of my heart # 1653 01:30:17,533 --> 01:30:21,196 - # And I swear # - # Oh, yeah # 1654 01:30:31,814 --> 01:30:34,282 # And I swear # 1655 01:30:34,350 --> 01:30:37,410 # By the moon and the stars # 1656 01:30:37,486 --> 01:30:39,977 # In the skies # 1657 01:30:40,055 --> 01:30:43,047 - # I'll be there # - # I'll be there # 1658 01:30:43,125 --> 01:30:45,719 # And I swear # 1659 01:30:45,794 --> 01:30:47,819 # Like the shadow # 1660 01:30:47,896 --> 01:30:51,764 - # That's by your side # - # That's by your side # 1661 01:30:51,834 --> 01:30:55,065 - # I'll be there # - # I'll be there # 1662 01:30:55,137 --> 01:30:58,504 - # For better or worse # - # Better or worse # 1663 01:30:58,574 --> 01:31:01,372 - # Till death do us part # - # Oh no # 1664 01:31:01,443 --> 01:31:06,608 # I'll love you with every beat of my heart # 1665 01:31:06,682 --> 01:31:09,674 # And I swear # 1666 01:31:09,752 --> 01:31:12,812 # I swear # 1667 01:31:12,888 --> 01:31:17,723 # Oh, whoa, I... # 1668 01:31:17,793 --> 01:31:20,921 # Swear. # 1669 01:31:20,996 --> 01:31:22,020 Mike! 1670 01:31:31,774 --> 01:31:34,868 # Forgiveness # 1671 01:31:36,111 --> 01:31:39,512 # Is more than saying sorry # 1672 01:31:39,581 --> 01:31:43,540 # Sorry sorry sorry # 1673 01:31:43,619 --> 01:31:47,749 # Forgiveness # 1674 01:31:47,823 --> 01:31:51,691 # Means accepting people's flaws # 1675 01:31:51,760 --> 01:31:56,697 # Flaws flaws flaws # 1676 01:31:56,765 --> 01:31:59,256 # To forgive is divine # 1677 01:31:59,334 --> 01:32:02,861 # So let's have a glass of wine # 1678 01:32:02,938 --> 01:32:05,532 # And have makeup sex # 1679 01:32:05,607 --> 01:32:07,541 # Until the end of # 1680 01:32:07,609 --> 01:32:10,544 # Time # 1681 01:32:13,982 --> 01:32:18,248 # Forgiveness # 1682 01:32:18,320 --> 01:32:21,756 # Does not mean compromising # 1683 01:32:26,295 --> 01:32:29,093 # Let's forgive and forget # 1684 01:32:29,164 --> 01:32:32,292 # And solve this African debt # 1685 01:32:32,367 --> 01:32:35,336 # Just like the Cheshire Cat # 1686 01:32:35,404 --> 01:32:38,805 # Who says, "Mreow! You're running out of time!" # 1687 01:32:38,874 --> 01:32:43,902 # Time time time time time, wreeow! # 1688 01:33:10,639 --> 01:33:12,129 # Forgiveness # 1689 01:33:12,207 --> 01:33:14,072 You'll always be fat to me, Chris! 1690 01:33:16,979 --> 01:33:18,378 # Forgiveness # 1691 01:33:18,447 --> 01:33:21,007 God damn it! Come on, Dusty. 1692 01:33:23,051 --> 01:33:24,985 # Forgiveness # 1693 01:33:25,053 --> 01:33:27,487 Not happy! 1694 01:33:29,057 --> 01:33:31,048 # Forgiveness # 1695 01:33:31,126 --> 01:33:36,063 Hello, Joyce? Joyce? 1696 01:33:36,131 --> 01:33:38,031 Oh my God! 1697 01:33:41,203 --> 01:33:44,263 Then said Jesus, "Father, forgive them 1698 01:33:44,339 --> 01:33:47,536 for they know not what they do." 1699 01:33:47,609 --> 01:33:51,306 If you haven't forgiven yourself something, how can you forgive others? 1700 01:33:51,380 --> 01:33:52,904 I won't apologize. 1701 01:33:52,981 --> 01:33:54,778 I don't forgive you. 1702 01:33:54,850 --> 01:33:57,876 You can forgive, but you can't forget. 1703 01:33:59,121 --> 01:34:01,089 Where are you? 1704 01:34:05,494 --> 01:34:08,224 # Forgiveness #