1 00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:50,006 ♪ [ Rock ] 2 00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:10,766 Thanks for everything. 3 00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:19,209 Guess what I did last night. 4 00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:22,647 Dude! [ Sniffs ] 5 00:01:22,647 --> 00:01:25,607 ♪ [ Continues ] 6 00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:27,217 [ Beeping ] 7 00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:32,092 [ Motor revving ] 8 00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:44,147 [ Loud exhale ] Now let's rock westside academy! Eww. 9 00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:54,288 [ Man's recorded voice ] Taste the beast! 10 00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:58,509 You can do anything you want in life as long as you stay away from drugs. 11 00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:01,860 Why would a person use illegal drugs? Many reasons. 12 00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:04,515 Maybe they're tryin' to fit in with a new group of friends. 13 00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:07,692 Maybe they're curious. Maybe they're just bored. 14 00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:10,782 But whatever the reason, what should you say when someone offers you drugs? 15 00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:13,394 Say, "no, thanks. I'll have a minotaur." 16 00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:16,832 Stay off drugs! Minotaur!Thank you, minotaur man. 17 00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:21,402 Hey! Nice cow outfit, homo. 18 00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:23,186 Where can I pick one of those up, the gay zoo? 19 00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:26,798 Oh, no. It's not a-- it's not a cow. It's a minotaur. 20 00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:29,627 It's a creature of myth. And he got this one out of your mom's closet. 21 00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:31,455 She let me keep it after I fucked her. 22 00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:36,808 Drugs are bad, but energy drink's good. 23 00:02:36,808 --> 00:02:39,550 So whenever you'd like to taste one, help yourselves. 24 00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:42,292 And for every can sold, minotaur will make a donation... 25 00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:43,772 To the keep kids off drugs foundation. 26 00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:51,127 God, this suit smells like tater tots. 27 00:02:51,127 --> 00:02:53,912 Yeah, I know what you need. 28 00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:56,480 Kiss? Are you kidding? No. God. 29 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,744 I love kiss. No one loves kiss. 30 00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:02,443 - paul stanley is sick of kiss. - whoa! 31 00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:05,054 Don't dis the starchild.Hey, don't get me wrong, all right? 32 00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:09,363 I like to "rock and roll all night and part of every day." 33 00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:11,582 "Party every day." "Rock and roll all night and party every day." 34 00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:13,932 I like to rock and roll part of every day. Party every day. 35 00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:16,500 I usually have errands. Party. 36 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,459 I can rock and roll from, like, 1:00 to 3:00. You need to party. 37 00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:21,201 Hey, guys. How's it goin'? 38 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,420 When someone offers you some illegal drugs, what do you say? 39 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:26,249 You say, "no, thanks. I'll just have a minotaur." 40 00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:28,817 I've had so many of these things-- I'm not kidding-- 41 00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,732 I may wet my pants. Where's the bathroom? 42 00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:33,822 [ Groans ] 43 00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:36,781 [ Sighs ] Holy shit. 44 00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:38,043 Dude, this is like shrek's piss. 45 00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:43,179 So remember, stay off drugs, drink minotaur-- 46 00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,789 - and above all-- - taste the beast! 47 00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:53,885 [ Bell dings ] You know what's great about this job? 48 00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:56,584 You mean, besides nothing? We're makin' the world a better place. 49 00:03:56,584 --> 00:04:00,849 How? You know, givin' the kids an energy boost to stay off drugs. 50 00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:03,591 We're selling them nuclear horse piss for six bucks a can. 51 00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:05,549 What an accomplishment. Feels good, doesn't it? 52 00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:07,595 No.Plus, it's totally easy to do hungover. 53 00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:09,901 I could do this job forever. 54 00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:12,948 If I had to do this job forever, I'd put a bullet in my head. Game face, bro. 55 00:04:12,948 --> 00:04:14,863 [ All ] Surprise! 56 00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:19,694 -[ cheering ] - yeah! Whoo! Got you, man! Got you! 57 00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:21,565 - oh, happy anniversary! Did you know? - no. 58 00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:24,307 All right. That was good! Oh, my god. You're here. 59 00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:26,701 Wheeler called me. Hi. Thank you for warning me. 60 00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:29,181 Hey, I tried to tell them you don't like surprises, 61 00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:31,401 but theyreallywanted to celebrate your milestone. 62 00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:34,361 - what's up, mino-tards? - [ Cheering ] 63 00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:35,927 - what's up, wheeler? - my dick! 64 00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:38,452 "My dick"! 65 00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:40,802 Everybody, we're here to celebrate my best friend, danny! 66 00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:44,458 We just work together. Not "best friend."Be nice. 67 00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:47,983 Danny's been workin' here 10 years! That's almost a decade of livin' the dream. 68 00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:50,072 You're the man, danny! I want to grow old with you, danny. 69 00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:52,944 Hopefully, we'll be tastin' the beast for the rest of our lives together! 70 00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:55,425 [ Cheering ] 71 00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:59,342 ♪It's Early In The Morning The sun comes out ♪ 72 00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:01,736 ♪Last Night Was Shaking And pretty loud ♪ 73 00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:04,391 This is a nightmare. Oh, come on. I took the afternoon off. 74 00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:06,697 There's cake! Let's try and enjoy ourselves. 75 00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:08,438 Mitch from graphics, take over! 76 00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:11,006 - ah! - do it! 77 00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:13,051 - [ Woman ] let's go next! Come on. It'll be fun. - no. 78 00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:16,011 Why not? Come on. We'll do a duet! 79 00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,796 Getting up in front of people and singing is not my idea of fun. 80 00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:21,538 - it's humiliating. - [ Voice breaking ] ♪With Another Sin 81 00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:24,672 - I'm gonna sing. - [ Cheering ] 82 00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:27,544 - ♪Here I Am - [ Man ] Ow! 83 00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:30,678 ♪Rock You Like a hurricane ♪ 84 00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:32,419 Come on, come on, come on, come on! Yeah, yeah! 85 00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:34,856 ♪Here I Am Come on. Sing it! 86 00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:37,641 ♪Rock You Like A Hurricane 87 00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:40,514 Danny? 88 00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:42,951 What is your problem?Look, I'm sorry, all right? 89 00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:46,302 I'm not wheeler, happy in some brainless job. No goals, no ambition. 90 00:05:46,302 --> 00:05:48,565 Hey, you don't know how wheeler feels. 91 00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:50,480 For all you know, he hates his job as much as you do. 92 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:54,005 Yeow! I love this job! 93 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:55,920 [ Man ] Hey, wheeler! She's tastin' your beast! 94 00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:01,535 Good morning. Can I take your order? 95 00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:03,624 Can I get a tall chai? And a large black coffee. 96 00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:06,801 A what? Large black coffee. 97 00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:08,803 Do you mean a venti? No, I mean a large. 98 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:11,327 He means a venti. Yeah, the biggest one you've got. Venti is large. 99 00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:13,808 Mmm, no. Ventiis 20. Danny. 100 00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:17,725 Yeah. "Large" is large. In fact, "tall" is large. 101 00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:20,380 Andgrandeis spanish for "large."ventiis the only one that doesn't mean large. 102 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,034 It's also the only one that's italian. 103 00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,776 Congratulations! You're stupid in three languages. 104 00:06:25,776 --> 00:06:28,562 Look, dick. Venti is a large coffee. 105 00:06:28,562 --> 00:06:31,303 Really? Says who? Fellini? How much is that? Here's a 10. 106 00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:35,177 Do you, uh, accept lira or is it all euros-- just keep the change. 107 00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:38,310 Jesus. You know what they call the sizes here. You've been picking fights with everybody. 108 00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:40,487 The girl at the party. She said, "asap." 109 00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,271 Oh, asap! Oh, I'm sorry. Huge crime. 110 00:06:42,271 --> 00:06:45,796 It's like "24-7" or "been there, done that." You hate that too. 111 00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:49,321 I don't hate it enough to let it ruin my day. Ugh! 112 00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:52,150 It's getting worse. You know, man? The sun is shining. 113 00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:55,458 But you have lost the ability to take any joy in life. 114 00:06:55,458 --> 00:07:00,376 I can't stand it anymore! You're just a miserable dick now! You're mean to everybody! 115 00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:03,771 And, F.YI., it's called a "venti" Because it's 20 ounces! 116 00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:06,426 Twenty!venti! [ Bells jingling ] 117 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,473 [ Door closes ] 118 00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:12,257 Is that true? 119 00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:17,393 She says I take no joy in life. 120 00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:19,917 I can see that. 121 00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:23,181 - I gotta talk to her. - aw, forget her, man. 122 00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:26,489 Let me give you a little motto I live my life by-- you got to hit it and quit it. 123 00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:29,579 No ties, tangle free. Nobody tells me what to do. 124 00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:32,408 I go bang, bang, bang the drum. 125 00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:34,802 What? That's not a motto. That's just you saying a bunch of things. 126 00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:38,109 You know, that's right. I'm a dick. 127 00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:40,285 Hey, I'm in a rut, just goin' from school to school... 128 00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:43,158 Selling poison to our nation's youth. 129 00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:45,769 It's not poison. It's got juice in it. 130 00:07:45,769 --> 00:07:48,946 I'm 35 years old. I got nothin' to show for my life. I figured I'd be something. 131 00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:52,907 Somethin' good-- a professor, engineer. I don't know. 132 00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:56,127 Figured I'd be married. I'd-- 133 00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:58,956 I don't know. 134 00:07:58,956 --> 00:08:01,219 You know what? We're makin' a detour. What? 135 00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:02,656 We're makin' a detour. Where? 136 00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:06,486 We're makin' a detour. Why? 137 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,227 Dude, you're too jacked up on minotaur. This is a mistake. 138 00:08:09,227 --> 00:08:11,621 It's fine. Look, I'll be right back. 139 00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:14,494 Hey, we gotta be at the blue valley middle school by 1:30. Yep! 140 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,975 No, I don't want to plea-bargain. I didn't do it. 141 00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:20,369 Mr. Garvin, I just don't know what other options we have, you know, 142 00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:24,025 because they have this clear videotape of you stealing-- 143 00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:26,070 guys! Go, go, go. A lot of tvs. 144 00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:29,334 - that could be any bald guy. - look at me! Me! David garvin! 145 00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:31,728 Stealin' tvs. Who would believe it? 146 00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:33,948 [ Blows raspberry ] That is not me. 147 00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:36,820 Hey, hi. I need to talk to you. 148 00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:39,780 - danny, I'm with a client, so we'll talk later. - I can go. 149 00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:41,912 No, no. You stay. 150 00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:44,088 I'm not goin' anywhere until you talk to me. 151 00:08:44,088 --> 00:08:46,221 Excuse me one-- 152 00:08:46,221 --> 00:08:48,702 thank you. What? Fast. 153 00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:50,921 All right, you were right. I'm a dick. I'm a dick! You're dickish. 154 00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:53,707 Yes, I'm dickish. I'm a dickish dick, and I'm in a rut. 155 00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:55,578 We're in a rut. Let's shake things up. I have an idea. 156 00:08:55,578 --> 00:08:57,624 Let's get married. I don't have a ring. Are you serious? 157 00:08:57,624 --> 00:08:59,495 Mazel tov! No. 158 00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:01,018 - never mind. - what? 159 00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:03,586 No. Why? 160 00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:06,067 Because despite this very well-thought-out and romantic proposal, 161 00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:08,112 I'm not that interested in becoming Mrs. Dick-in-a-rut. 162 00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:11,333 - heard that. - really? Did you hear that? 163 00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,291 - danny? - maybe you heard that 'cause you're two feet away from us. 164 00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:15,424 That's another one I hate. "Heard that"! 165 00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,774 You don't get married to get out of a rut. 166 00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:20,429 You get married because you love someone and you don't want to spend your life without them. 167 00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:22,692 Who is this guy? Thank you, Mr. Garvin. He's a thief. 168 00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:25,086 - falsely accused. - oh, well. He looks like phil collins. 169 00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:27,610 - yeah. I know. - look, life is hard, all right? 170 00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:30,439 We've lived together for seven years. You know what? 171 00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:32,615 Life is hard, and you've become the hardest part of my life. 172 00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:36,619 I should really go. N-- you sit down. [ Sighs ] 173 00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:38,969 You know, danny? We do need to shake things up. 174 00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:40,841 - I know! That's what I'm saying! - I'm movin' out. 175 00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:44,453 Wait a minute. Are you breaking up with me? 176 00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:48,500 - yeah. - really? 177 00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,548 Wow. 178 00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:56,030 Today sucks. 179 00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:01,862 [ Groans ] Look, danny, whenever a door closes, another opens, okay? 180 00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:04,168 You just have to look for it. 181 00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:07,345 And seriously, you're gonna get the most insane sympathy-rebound pussy. 182 00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:09,913 And this is a good month for that too. 183 00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:12,307 I don't want that. Look, just keep it together, bro. 184 00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:14,701 Okay? We got one more school. 185 00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:17,660 We go out, have a few brewskis, we'll talk this over. Just put your game face on. 186 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:21,185 Whoo! 187 00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:24,275 Taste the beast! Stay off drugs! 188 00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,408 Minotaur! 189 00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:32,283 Drugs. Why do kids take drugs? 190 00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:35,678 - 'cause they're awesome? - [ Chuckling ] 191 00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:37,941 No? Maybe they just understand that life is pain, 192 00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:40,683 and if you smoke something or take a pill, it'll go away for awhile. 193 00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:43,338 I'll drink to that. [ Chuckling ] 194 00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:45,775 Dude, dude, dude, dude. Come on. No, no, no. 195 00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:49,170 [ Clears throat ] People say, "embrace life. Enjoy life. 196 00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:52,869 Just do it! Live it! Rock it!" 197 00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:55,698 Fuck it, because life is horrible. 198 00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:58,919 You know, I may not be so happy-go-lucky, but I'm a realist. 199 00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,964 Get ready to have your dreams dashed, kids, 200 00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:03,140 'cause nothing's gonna work out the way you think it's going to. 201 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:08,406 Chin-chin. By the way, this stuff's poison. 202 00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:11,671 [ Electronic feedback ] [ Kids murmuring ] 203 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,499 Game face, bro. Game face. 204 00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:16,980 What part of "game face" Do you not understand? 205 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:19,417 What the f-- whoa, dude! Oh! Hey, hey, hey, hey! 206 00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:21,637 I thought we could park here. And you thought wrong, you furry faggot. 207 00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:24,988 -Please, just flip the switch and put it down. -It's too late. It's already up. 208 00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:26,773 Come on, please. Put yourself in my shoes, would ya? 209 00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:29,863 Not my problem. 210 00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:33,083 Dude, please, could you just be decent? I'm havin' a terrible day! 211 00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,651 Oh, well, since you put it that way, it's still not my problem. 212 00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:38,175 [ Engine starts ] 213 00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:40,569 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Hey, man, can I ask you a question? 214 00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:43,311 Get the fuck out of the way, asshole! 215 00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:44,921 - you want me to move? - game face, buddy. 216 00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:47,271 [ Horn honks ] 217 00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:48,708 Uh, danny? 218 00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:54,235 What's he doing? He's running. We're running. 219 00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:57,499 - we're running! - whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no. 220 00:11:57,499 --> 00:12:00,415 Hey, what are you-- what are you-- get, get-- [ Grunts ] 221 00:12:00,415 --> 00:12:02,852 I'm the guy that can't enjoy life? Wrong! 222 00:12:02,852 --> 00:12:04,419 Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this! Right! 223 00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:05,942 Wait, what? 224 00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:11,687 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, man, what you doin'? 225 00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:14,690 - whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Danny! - hey, man! 226 00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:16,518 Holy shit, man! 227 00:12:21,131 --> 00:12:23,917 - dude! - whoa! 228 00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:25,614 Whoa! [ Wheeler screaming ] 229 00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:30,750 [ Recorded voice, winding down ] Taste the beast! 230 00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:35,363 Stay off drugs. 231 00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:38,932 - you guys are fucked. - I told you, you asshole! 232 00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:41,543 - beth? - yes, wheeler? 233 00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:45,199 I just want to start by saying, I think you're amazing, okay? 234 00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:47,549 You're, like, beauty and brains incarnate. 235 00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:50,291 So, F.YI., there you go. Okay? 236 00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:53,685 Now, that's that, so as far as this goes, 237 00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:55,862 I didn't do anything here, so if you wouldn't mind, you can clear my name, 238 00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,386 and I can just walk right out of here. 239 00:12:58,386 --> 00:13:01,041 Oh, really? Because according to this, you were a party to-- 240 00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:04,174 uh, a party to, not the party. 241 00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:06,960 Reckless endangerment, destruction of school property, 242 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,658 obstructing a police officer, attempted grand theft auto, 243 00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:11,921 disturbing the peace, parking in a no-parking zone. 244 00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:14,315 Did I ever tell you you're a dick? Yeah. Earlier. 245 00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:16,273 Danny, they suspended your license. Did you know that? 246 00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,058 I figured they would probably do that. 247 00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:21,104 I mean, do you guys think this was funny? 248 00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:24,499 - if you think about it, this is kind of your fault. - my-- how is this my fault? 249 00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,936 It's your fault because you just threw it all away, 250 00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:29,809 - and I came in here, I proposed to you-- - your proposal was bullshit! 251 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,854 -But it was real. It was from the heart! -Shut up! Okay? Shut up! 252 00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:34,857 What's gonna happen? 253 00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:37,904 - they wanted to give you 30 days in jail. - what? 254 00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:40,820 But I worked my magic on the judge, and instead, over the next 30 days, 255 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,126 you have to log 150 hours of community service. 256 00:13:43,126 --> 00:13:45,781 Community service? What, we got to clean toilets? 257 00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:48,305 No, you're going to sturdy wings. It's the judge's favorite organization. 258 00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,481 - [ Clears throat ] - yes, wheeler? 259 00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:52,570 What the fuck is sturdy wings? 260 00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:55,835 [ Woman ] Sturdy wings is a simple concept. 261 00:13:55,835 --> 00:14:00,100 We bring adults and children together in a structured format... 262 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:03,364 To enhance the lives of these children through one-on-one friendships. 263 00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:08,238 People ask me, "gayle, how did you come up with such a life-altering program?" 264 00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:11,241 And I tell them, I spent a lot of time alone as a kid. 265 00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:13,591 My father was a traveling salesman. 266 00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:16,594 My mother, out of necessity, was a whore. 267 00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:19,206 During adolescence, I hungered for guidance... 268 00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:22,600 From a committed, caring adult. 269 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:26,866 A mere 12 years ago, I was a raging alcoholic. 270 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:30,173 To make matters worse, I had a massive drug addiction, 271 00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:34,830 no money, no job, no hope. 272 00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:37,789 But at that moment, I knew what I had to do. 273 00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:39,966 Used to be addicted to pills. 274 00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:43,839 Now... I'm addicted to helping. 275 00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:47,538 And when you're addicted to helping, you don't need an intervention. 276 00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:50,759 [ Chuckling ] Because sometimes in life, everybody needs-- 277 00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:53,457 [ All ] Sturdy wings! 278 00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:56,808 [ Chorus ] ♪A Little Lovin' Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 279 00:14:56,808 --> 00:15:01,552 ♪We Need A Little Love Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 280 00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:04,425 ♪A Little Lovin' Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ Huh? Huh? Uh? 281 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:07,341 See, that's me? ♪We Need A Little Lovin' 282 00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:09,125 ♪Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah [ Chuckling ] 283 00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:11,649 ♪A Little Lovin'-- 284 00:15:11,649 --> 00:15:13,303 [ Throws remote control ] Okay then. 285 00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:15,610 Welcome, everybody. 286 00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:17,742 You know, it's particularly exciting for me... 287 00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:20,397 To have a new batch of bigs... 288 00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:23,139 To match up with a new group of kids, or littles, 289 00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:25,446 as we call them here at sturdy wings. 290 00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:27,796 - I see a familiar face. - [ Sing-songy ] Guilty as charged. 291 00:15:27,796 --> 00:15:31,843 - [ Laughing ] - I'd already prefer jail. 292 00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:34,237 All right. Let's move right along here. 293 00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:36,718 Uh, schedule-wise, you can elect to spend as much time with your little-- 294 00:15:36,718 --> 00:15:38,720 hey. Or as little time. 295 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,418 It takes a village. Hmm? 296 00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:44,204 Hillary clinton. I'm sort of into politics. 297 00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:47,859 Oh, I'm sort of engaged. I sort of have a boner. 298 00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:50,645 Okay. So, lots of handouts, information to cover. 299 00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:53,213 So let's get started. 300 00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:56,303 First time with the program? Oh, god, really? 301 00:15:56,303 --> 00:15:58,305 Wheeler, switch with me. No way, dude. 302 00:15:58,305 --> 00:16:01,743 Martin gary. I can always spot a newbie. 303 00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:04,006 It's my fifth year with wings. 304 00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:06,182 I guess paul mccartney's got nothin' on me, huh? 305 00:16:06,182 --> 00:16:10,447 ♪Love, Take Me Down To the streets ♪ [ Snapping fingers ] 306 00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:12,972 That's not a wings song. Yeah, that's one of their hits from the '70s. 307 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,756 I'm not sure which one. It's not a-- it's not. 308 00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:16,888 It isn't? No. 309 00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:19,065 I think it might be. No, it's not. Nobody sings that song. 310 00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:21,589 - I don't know about that. I'll have to google it. - martin, come on up here. 311 00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:24,026 Let's do a little dimostrazione. 312 00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:26,594 This-- ah. 313 00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:29,249 Perfectly acceptable hug between a little and a big. Ooh-la-la. 314 00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:33,993 This... Is not. 315 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,212 Well, obviously, we're not supposed to butt-fuck these kids. 316 00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:38,562 Well, it looks like I'm out of handouts. 317 00:16:38,562 --> 00:16:42,436 Why don't we take a break, get a cup of joe? I'm gonna put mine right in here. 318 00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:46,179 And then when you come back, it'll be time to meet-- drumroll, please-- 319 00:16:46,179 --> 00:16:50,748 - [ Imitating drumroll ] - your little! 320 00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:52,533 - whoo-hoo! - [ Guffawing ] 321 00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:54,448 Whoo! 322 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,279 I cannot wait to meet mine. 323 00:16:59,279 --> 00:17:01,977 I'm going to take 'em to the zoo, 324 00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:06,068 [ Baby talk ] because I heard that the giant panda bear had a little baby panda bear. 325 00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:08,331 Oh!And there's just nothin' cuter... 326 00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:10,246 Than a little baby panda bear 'cause he's got-- 327 00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:13,075 yeah, I can't do this. Danny, stop. 328 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,164 We will get raped in jail. Do you understand? 329 00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:18,907 What's the point, huh? I mean, I've got nothin' to give a kid. 330 00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:21,779 If you were a kid, would you want to hang out with me? 331 00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:24,304 Hey, do you want to get raped? Hello, gentlemen. 332 00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:28,047 Hey. You probably heard that out of context. Excuse me? 333 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:31,180 When I asked my friend danny if he wanted to get raped. 334 00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:35,358 I want you both to listen to me, okay? And listen good. 335 00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:39,101 I know why you're here, so don't BS. A b.s.'er. 336 00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:44,106 Okay? Your "presence" here-- court-ordered. 337 00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:46,369 Why did you put "presence" in quotes? 338 00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:48,458 Are you implying that we're not here? 339 00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:50,852 You know, one call to the judge from me, 340 00:17:50,852 --> 00:17:53,855 and you are in the slammer, like MC. Hammer. 341 00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:55,465 Did MC. Hammer go to prison? Yes, he did. 342 00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:58,468 Or he came extremely close. 343 00:17:58,468 --> 00:18:02,342 I'm certain he filed for bankruptcy, so don't BS. Me right now, okay? 344 00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:06,172 - I don't understand. How are we BS.'ing you? - exactly. I'm BS.-proof. 345 00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,913 Here's a couple of time sheets. 346 00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:12,439 You'll want your little buddies' parents to sign 'em after each outing, okay? 347 00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:15,050 And that way, I can use my BS. Flyswatter... 348 00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:18,793 To swat away the flies... That is your BS. 349 00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,795 [ Chuckling ] Okay? 350 00:18:20,795 --> 00:18:22,797 Any questions? 351 00:18:22,797 --> 00:18:26,322 Hey, little littles, your bigs are here! 352 00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:29,064 Ah. [ Children shouting ] 353 00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:31,762 Whoa! [ Martin laughing ] 354 00:18:31,762 --> 00:18:35,375 Whoa! Okay. That's good fun! 355 00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:37,855 Danny, your little is elsewhere. Why don't you come with me? 356 00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:41,163 [ Laughing continues ] Oh, man. 357 00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:44,166 I've heard of popcorn in the face, but this is ridiculous. 358 00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:46,212 ♪ [ Dramatic Orchestral ] 359 00:18:49,476 --> 00:18:51,173 [ Shouting ] 360 00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:53,741 Brothers-in-arms, follow me! 361 00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:57,875 The evil king argotron has us cornered. 362 00:18:59,747 --> 00:19:02,967 Oh! My fair lady esplen, goddess of navalore. 363 00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:05,666 I fight for your honor. 364 00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:07,755 You wish-- you wish to kiss me? 365 00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:10,279 There's precious little time. 366 00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:12,107 Oh, what the hell. 367 00:19:14,327 --> 00:19:16,242 Ooh! 368 00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:21,334 [ Grunts ] No! No. More later! 369 00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:25,207 Now I must fight! 370 00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:28,863 Your kid's name is augie farks. A little older than most of the kids. 371 00:19:28,863 --> 00:19:32,214 [ Grunting ] 372 00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:34,347 [ Ferocious shouting ] Oh. 373 00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:37,176 Oh. 374 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,787 ♪ [ Stops ] Um, that wasn't really 100% yet. 375 00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:41,876 Don't judge me by that move that-- 376 00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:44,139 I'm not gonna get in trouble, right? 377 00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:47,229 This is just-- this is just soft foam and duct tape. It can't harm anyone. 378 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,666 - no worries, my liege. - okay! 379 00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:52,365 This is danny. He wants to be your new friend. 380 00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:55,803 So I'm gonna let you guys get to know each other, and I'll... Fade into the mist. 381 00:19:57,413 --> 00:19:59,241 How's it goin'? [ Door opens, closes ] 382 00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:03,245 That's a nice routine you worked out. 383 00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:04,942 I hope you weren't planning on slaying me. 384 00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:13,212 Wonderful. 385 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,257 Come on, wheeler. Let's meet your kid. His name's ronnie. 386 00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,868 He's one of our youngest. Single mom. Full-time job. 387 00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:20,175 Signed him up about six weeks ago, matched him up with eight different bigs. 388 00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:22,786 No one's lasted more than a day. 389 00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:25,920 But I think you're perfect because you're young, fun, and you don't wanna go to prison. 390 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:29,793 That's scary! [ Chuckling ] Oh. 391 00:20:29,793 --> 00:20:33,232 And F.YI., you're playin' on this girl's court now, okay? 392 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,277 So you're playin' by her rules. Are you the coach? 393 00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:37,758 I am the coach. I'm the coach, and I'm the point guard, 394 00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:40,761 the two forwards, the center, and I'm the other guard. 395 00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:42,415 I'm the entire organization. 396 00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:49,683 Hey there, ronnie. How you doin' today? Doin' a little drawing? 397 00:20:49,683 --> 00:20:52,860 That's cool. [ Chuckling ] I want you to meet someone really special. 398 00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:55,950 And I think you two dudes are gonna become real homeys. 399 00:20:55,950 --> 00:20:58,648 Ronnie, this is anson. Uh, wheeler's good. 400 00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:00,868 Whatever. 401 00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:03,436 [ Clears throat ] 402 00:21:03,436 --> 00:21:05,655 Hey, big guy. What you doin' here? 403 00:21:05,655 --> 00:21:10,138 What up, ronnie? It's good to meet you. 404 00:21:10,138 --> 00:21:13,010 Um-- 405 00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:15,143 what you drawin' there? 406 00:21:15,143 --> 00:21:18,668 Oh, beyoncé. She's smokin'! 407 00:21:18,668 --> 00:21:22,106 - I don't want to take my pants off! - what? Whoa! Whoa! 408 00:21:22,106 --> 00:21:24,718 All right, ronnie. That's enough. 409 00:21:24,718 --> 00:21:27,808 - this bitch tried to grab my joint! - language, ronnie! 410 00:21:27,808 --> 00:21:30,985 My language is english! And this motherfucker tried to grab on my hang-down. 411 00:21:30,985 --> 00:21:34,467 I got my own hang-down to touch, kid. 412 00:21:34,467 --> 00:21:37,470 Honky-ass wanted a handful of my balls! Honky? That's racist. 413 00:21:37,470 --> 00:21:40,821 Well, I trust you two will work this out. I'm not gonna micromanage. 414 00:21:40,821 --> 00:21:43,693 Not my modus operandi. 415 00:21:43,693 --> 00:21:46,870 I have no idea what I'm gonna do with this kid. Me either. 416 00:21:46,870 --> 00:21:50,091 I bet if I suggested a game of quidditch, he'd come in his pants. 417 00:21:50,091 --> 00:21:52,180 I've been talkin' to him for half an hour. Kid's barely said a word. 418 00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:55,183 Maybe we should just go to jail. It's 30 days. 419 00:21:55,183 --> 00:21:57,490 Whoa! I don't know if this is some kind of joke to you, danny, 420 00:21:57,490 --> 00:21:59,840 but I actually like my life, okay? 421 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:02,930 Now, if I go to jail, I'm gonna lose my job. Listen. 422 00:22:02,930 --> 00:22:05,367 We go to prison, you're never gonna get beth back. 423 00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:08,457 We come home after 30 days, she's bangin' her boss. I guarantee it. 424 00:22:08,457 --> 00:22:10,677 Really? Sh-she's gonna be banging patricia feingold? 425 00:22:10,677 --> 00:22:13,680 Her boss is a chick? Oh, jesus. 426 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,813 Danny, just listen, okay? We're a team. All right? You and me. 427 00:22:16,813 --> 00:22:20,339 We can do this. We just got to stick together. Fine. 428 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:24,081 Good. So, what do you do with kids? 429 00:22:24,081 --> 00:22:28,695 Hey, kids! We chip monks just broke our vow of silence, and we want to sing! 430 00:22:28,695 --> 00:22:31,350 ♪We Are The Monks Of chip monk charlie's ♪ 431 00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,874 ♪We Will Give You Food To Eat 432 00:22:33,874 --> 00:22:37,138 ♪And Once It's in our tummies ♪ 433 00:22:37,138 --> 00:22:40,097 ♪We Will Move Our chip monk feet ♪ ♪ [ Flourish ] 434 00:22:42,012 --> 00:22:44,754 ♪We Are The Butts Of chip monk ass ♪ 435 00:22:44,754 --> 00:22:46,930 -♪But we've got the ass - okay. Come on! Sit down! 436 00:22:46,930 --> 00:22:49,063 All right? Please. Danny. ♪Butt 437 00:22:49,063 --> 00:22:52,762 I like ronnie's version better. I like how it evokes the concept of ass and butt. 438 00:22:55,025 --> 00:22:58,072 - okay. Thanks. - don't throw shit, ronnie. Come on. 439 00:22:58,072 --> 00:23:01,249 How many hours do we have left? 440 00:23:01,249 --> 00:23:03,425 So, uh, do you like coca-cola? 441 00:23:03,425 --> 00:23:05,558 I like the idea of it more than I actually like it. 442 00:23:07,908 --> 00:23:10,345 Ooh, they got chicken fingers. Phew! 443 00:23:10,345 --> 00:23:12,782 I'm gonna run a train on these chicken fingers. 444 00:23:12,782 --> 00:23:15,742 I'm just gonna be, like, "yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum- yum-yum-yum-yum-yum." 445 00:23:15,742 --> 00:23:18,440 Let me guess. You're not really rollin' with the ladies in school, are ya, augie? 446 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,878 Oh, no. I'm-- I'm really good friends with the school nurse. She's a divorcée. 447 00:23:21,878 --> 00:23:26,709 So, um, aug, it's a-- it's a pretty interesting cape. 448 00:23:26,709 --> 00:23:30,757 -Are you like a superhero or somethin'? - yeah, I wish. 449 00:23:30,757 --> 00:23:33,716 No, this is-- this is part of my battle attire for laire. 450 00:23:33,716 --> 00:23:37,111 - what the hell is laire? - it's this fantasy world where anything is possible! 451 00:23:37,111 --> 00:23:39,113 One minute you could be sparring with an elf, 452 00:23:39,113 --> 00:23:42,464 and the next you could be battling against a troll who wants nothing more... 453 00:23:42,464 --> 00:23:45,206 Than just to steal your gold and leave you penniless! 454 00:23:45,206 --> 00:23:48,514 - sounds gay. - no, no. There's girls there. 455 00:23:48,514 --> 00:23:51,778 - girls can be gay. - if by gay you mean the old english definition... 456 00:23:51,778 --> 00:23:53,823 Of "fun, enjoyable and carefree," 457 00:23:53,823 --> 00:23:56,347 Then yes, it's extremely gay. 458 00:23:56,347 --> 00:23:58,698 I think they meant the other definition. 459 00:23:58,698 --> 00:24:00,395 I know, but to understand it, you really have to see it for yourself. 460 00:24:00,395 --> 00:24:02,092 Okay. 461 00:24:04,486 --> 00:24:06,793 - hey, pick us up in two hours. - fuck you, Miss daisy! 462 00:24:13,147 --> 00:24:15,323 So, augie, why do they call it laire? 463 00:24:15,323 --> 00:24:18,631 It's live action interactive role-playing explorers. 464 00:24:18,631 --> 00:24:22,199 We're divided into countries, fighting a never-ending war to control the realm. 465 00:24:22,199 --> 00:24:24,114 [ Danny ] Or until they have to clear you out for soccer practice. 466 00:24:24,114 --> 00:24:27,030 [ Laughing ] Ho! 467 00:24:27,030 --> 00:24:29,903 Greetings, nobleman! [ Hearty laughing ] 468 00:24:29,903 --> 00:24:33,341 Any friend of blufgan's is a friend of kuzzik, 469 00:24:33,341 --> 00:24:36,866 fifth son of leponius, earl of ringor. 470 00:24:36,866 --> 00:24:39,521 Oh. Diana has put her bosom away. 471 00:24:39,521 --> 00:24:42,655 Apollo has lifted his skirt. The day has been launched. 472 00:24:42,655 --> 00:24:46,310 May I present to you my vassal, artonius. 473 00:24:46,310 --> 00:24:49,444 Greetings, friends. Greetings. 474 00:24:49,444 --> 00:24:53,840 Tell me, blufgan. Art thou preparing for the battle royale? 475 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,190 'Tis a mere month away. 476 00:24:56,190 --> 00:24:59,280 Oh, aye, milord. Ah, huzzah, huzzah! 477 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,936 Godspeed, blufgan! And all hail xanthia! 478 00:25:02,936 --> 00:25:05,982 [ With kuzzik, artonius ] Hail xanthia![ Laughing ] 479 00:25:05,982 --> 00:25:08,202 Rub-a-dub-dub! [ Laughing ] 480 00:25:10,378 --> 00:25:12,859 What the fuck just happened there? They're my kinsmen. 481 00:25:12,859 --> 00:25:16,732 We're all from xanthia. We're a smaller country, but we're no cassadonia, danny. 482 00:25:16,732 --> 00:25:18,081 [ Man ] Ow, don't hit so hard! Okay. 483 00:25:20,083 --> 00:25:22,956 - hi, blufgan. -Hey! Hey, esplen. 484 00:25:22,956 --> 00:25:25,654 [ Boys, girls ] Blufgan! Blufgan! 485 00:25:25,654 --> 00:25:28,178 Blufgan! Blufgan! Oh! 486 00:25:28,178 --> 00:25:32,313 - bllee-koo-dhadhahda-fleerp? - all right, gleebo. One more. 487 00:25:32,313 --> 00:25:36,926 Jarku-day! Jarku-day! 488 00:25:36,926 --> 00:25:39,189 I should have never started feeding the goddamn elves. Jesus christ. 489 00:25:39,189 --> 00:25:41,235 [ Woman ] Hey, Master handler. 490 00:25:45,369 --> 00:25:48,851 - whoa. Who's that dork? -Uh, that's the king. 491 00:25:48,851 --> 00:25:52,594 Well, I should have guessed. Nothing says royalty like the burger hole. 492 00:25:52,594 --> 00:25:55,031 [ Augie ] Yeah, he and his lackeys eat there before every battle. 493 00:25:55,031 --> 00:25:57,599 [ Man ] His majesty approaches. Oh, crap! 494 00:25:57,599 --> 00:26:00,297 His royalty approaches! Long live the king. 495 00:26:00,297 --> 00:26:03,866 - what are you doing? - you have-- you have to kneel before the king. 496 00:26:03,866 --> 00:26:07,435 Bow down, little girl. Little girl, bow down, bow down. 497 00:26:07,435 --> 00:26:09,219 - why? - because he's the king. I beg you! 498 00:26:14,616 --> 00:26:17,706 - no. - oh, damn it. 499 00:26:22,102 --> 00:26:24,626 Hey, pull over to the mini-mart and get me some OJ. 500 00:26:24,626 --> 00:26:26,889 And not that from-concentrate shit. 501 00:26:26,889 --> 00:26:30,197 Would it kill you to say please? It might. 502 00:26:30,197 --> 00:26:33,200 "Concentrate. Not from concentrate. Pulp. Low pulp. 503 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,942 Lots of pulp." 504 00:26:35,942 --> 00:26:40,163 - well, well, well. - hey. Fancy meeting you here. What, are you stalking me? 505 00:26:40,163 --> 00:26:43,645 [ Scoffs ] Had to get my bagel dog fix. 506 00:26:43,645 --> 00:26:47,649 So how's little ronnie? Ooh, you were right about us bein' a great match. Yeah. 507 00:26:47,649 --> 00:26:50,434 You know, like at christmas, when you get a gift? That's what ronnie is. 508 00:26:50,434 --> 00:26:52,828 A gift. I love him so much. 509 00:26:52,828 --> 00:26:56,310 Wow. Well, that's very nice. 510 00:26:56,310 --> 00:27:00,270 Now, if you'll excuse me, I gots to get my slurpee on. 511 00:27:00,270 --> 00:27:03,360 Well, watch this though first. 512 00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:04,797 [ Chuckling ] Look at that. What does that look like? 513 00:27:06,581 --> 00:27:08,627 [ Chuckling ] 514 00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:11,455 Okay. [ Clears throat ] 515 00:27:17,026 --> 00:27:20,073 - open the door, ronnie. - you forgot to say "please." 516 00:27:20,073 --> 00:27:24,294 Please open the door? Or I'll pour your juice out. 517 00:27:24,294 --> 00:27:27,341 I don't drink juice, bitch! 518 00:27:27,341 --> 00:27:29,082 Come on. Hey. Ronnie. 519 00:27:33,434 --> 00:27:36,959 Oh, no. Don't turn that engine on. I swear to god-- 520 00:27:36,959 --> 00:27:39,266 [ Stuttering ] Ohh-h! A-ah. 521 00:27:39,266 --> 00:27:42,182 Okay. Okay. Joke's over, buddy. 522 00:27:42,182 --> 00:27:44,358 No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no! 523 00:27:44,358 --> 00:27:46,795 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Aah! Good one! 524 00:27:46,795 --> 00:27:49,319 Good one, ronnie! Now open the fuckin' door! 525 00:27:49,319 --> 00:27:51,931 Ronnie! What are you doin'? 526 00:27:51,931 --> 00:27:53,846 - dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude! - [ Laughing ] 527 00:27:53,846 --> 00:27:57,414 - what are you doing? - [ Horn honks ] 528 00:27:57,414 --> 00:28:00,156 [ Gasps ] [ Laughing continues ] Baby! Yeah! 529 00:28:02,289 --> 00:28:04,334 Don't you run me over! 530 00:28:04,334 --> 00:28:07,076 Oh, no! [ Clattering ] 531 00:28:07,076 --> 00:28:09,035 [ Ronnie ] Ow! Watch it! 532 00:28:09,035 --> 00:28:10,993 Hey! 533 00:28:10,993 --> 00:28:14,431 Oh, yeah. So good. Good times. 534 00:28:17,173 --> 00:28:20,699 You're on thin ice, buddy. Then quit. 535 00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:24,354 - I never quit. - give me my damn juice. 536 00:28:24,354 --> 00:28:26,356 Oh, this juice? Yeah, that juice. 537 00:28:29,969 --> 00:28:32,580 Ahh. Fuckin' asshole. 538 00:28:32,580 --> 00:28:35,104 Punk bitch. 539 00:28:35,104 --> 00:28:38,151 The lad had seasoned his mutton with wine berry and not mead! 540 00:28:38,151 --> 00:28:41,415 [ Laughing ] 541 00:28:41,415 --> 00:28:45,288 Hey, did you see that spell of unbreakable madness I casted on those orks? 542 00:28:45,288 --> 00:28:48,552 I don't think so. 543 00:28:48,552 --> 00:28:49,945 [ Kuzzik ] The length of a moon, hence "honeymoon." 544 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:54,471 Eight hours down, 142 to go. 545 00:28:54,471 --> 00:28:56,822 This sucks ass. 546 00:28:56,822 --> 00:28:59,999 Dude, I just spent the afternoon in middle earth... 547 00:28:59,999 --> 00:29:02,262 With glee-glop and the floopty-doos, all right? 548 00:29:02,262 --> 00:29:04,786 Give me a fuckin' break. I got fuckin' carjacked. 549 00:29:04,786 --> 00:29:08,790 Yeah? Well, I got dumped.You deserved it! 550 00:29:08,790 --> 00:29:12,272 I hate your face. I hate your... F-face. 551 00:29:13,882 --> 00:29:16,102 [ Grunts ] Ooh! 552 00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:19,627 Ow! 553 00:29:19,627 --> 00:29:22,717 Ow! Ow! Ronnie! Ronnie! Take the wheel! 554 00:29:22,717 --> 00:29:24,632 Yeah. Dude, that is not safe! He can't drive! 555 00:29:24,632 --> 00:29:28,070 This is unsafe. Okay, stop! Stop! Okay! 556 00:29:28,070 --> 00:29:32,031 What the fuck? I'm driving! Wh-- 557 00:29:32,031 --> 00:29:33,989 [ Screams ] [ Augie ] Oh, my god! 558 00:29:33,989 --> 00:29:35,904 Oh, nice. Look what you started. Happy now? 559 00:29:35,904 --> 00:29:38,080 I'm gonna kill you! What did I do? 560 00:29:47,133 --> 00:29:49,570 So I guess I'll pick you up tomorrow around 9:00? 561 00:29:49,570 --> 00:29:54,444 Um, could we make it 10:00? Kid, you wanna spend some hours together or not? 562 00:29:54,444 --> 00:29:58,274 If I'm gonna chauffeur your asses around, make it 10:00. Yeah. 563 00:29:58,274 --> 00:30:01,016 Hey, danny, you wanna come see my turtle? I'm fine. 564 00:30:07,066 --> 00:30:08,589 [ Ronnie ] Course he has a turtle. 565 00:30:14,856 --> 00:30:17,511 See you tomorrow, ronnie. Fuck you, anson! 566 00:30:17,511 --> 00:30:19,992 Never gets old. Wait, wait, wait. 567 00:30:19,992 --> 00:30:21,994 Oh, you... Bitch! [ Laughing ] 568 00:30:21,994 --> 00:30:23,865 [ Laughing continues ] 569 00:30:25,606 --> 00:30:27,434 Oh! 570 00:30:35,964 --> 00:30:38,271 Oh, my god. She's movin' out. Oh, dude, that's harsh. 571 00:30:40,795 --> 00:30:43,929 Shit. 572 00:30:43,929 --> 00:30:46,192 - wow, you weren't kiddin' around. - yeah, I'm sorry. 573 00:30:46,192 --> 00:30:49,064 I wanted to be gone by the time you got home. 574 00:30:49,064 --> 00:30:51,327 No, it-- it's all right. This is-- this is better, you know. 575 00:30:51,327 --> 00:30:54,069 Now we get to share the moment with wheeler and-- 576 00:30:55,941 --> 00:30:58,117 becca and sara. Yeah, and becca and sara. 577 00:30:58,117 --> 00:31:00,293 Who you've met, like, 127 times. 578 00:31:00,293 --> 00:31:02,295 I know. Keys. 579 00:31:02,295 --> 00:31:04,819 Beth, come on. You don't have to do this. 580 00:31:06,342 --> 00:31:08,823 I left you the crock-pot. 581 00:31:08,823 --> 00:31:10,651 I know you like chili. 582 00:31:20,008 --> 00:31:22,141 I know it's really hard for you right now, 583 00:31:22,141 --> 00:31:25,318 but, uh, I just want you to know that... 584 00:31:25,318 --> 00:31:27,711 When you love something, you set it free. 585 00:31:27,711 --> 00:31:30,105 And if it's meant to be, 586 00:31:30,105 --> 00:31:32,455 you just-- 587 00:31:32,455 --> 00:31:35,110 you take it back, and it comes-- 588 00:31:35,110 --> 00:31:37,634 wait, um-- yeah, I know where you're goin' with it. 589 00:31:37,634 --> 00:31:41,334 Yeah, and if she doesn't come back, I'd go for that friend of hers in the sweater. 590 00:31:41,334 --> 00:31:45,077 I know she's a few pounds overweight, but, you know, in my experience, 591 00:31:45,077 --> 00:31:48,167 it's the bigger ones that do way more stuff. 592 00:31:48,167 --> 00:31:49,995 Good talk, wheeler. Pick you up at 10:00. 593 00:32:02,094 --> 00:32:05,445 Hi, ronnie. How are you today?What are you doin' here? 594 00:32:05,445 --> 00:32:08,013 - I told you I'd pick you up at 10:00, right? - I thought you'd pussy out. 595 00:32:08,013 --> 00:32:09,884 Well, you see? It's wonderful. We're learning so much about each other. 596 00:32:09,884 --> 00:32:12,539 [ Slams ] 597 00:32:17,587 --> 00:32:19,938 Hey! You must be wheeler. 598 00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:22,288 I'm karen. Hi, karen. 599 00:32:22,288 --> 00:32:24,464 Wow, you look way too young to be ronnie's mother. 600 00:32:24,464 --> 00:32:27,684 What are you, the babysitter? Oh, you're funny. 601 00:32:27,684 --> 00:32:30,165 You're gonna need that sense of humor if you're gonna keep up with my son. 602 00:32:30,165 --> 00:32:32,907 It's about time sturdy wings found someone who could. 603 00:32:32,907 --> 00:32:35,997 Yeah, well, I think that ronnie's a great little dude. 604 00:32:35,997 --> 00:32:38,130 "A great little dude"? 605 00:32:38,130 --> 00:32:39,479 [ Laughs ] You're cute. 606 00:32:41,263 --> 00:32:44,092 - you ready, pal? - I ain't your pal, vanilla. 607 00:32:44,092 --> 00:32:47,269 Uh, karen, would you mind signing my hours sheet? Sure. 608 00:32:47,269 --> 00:32:49,402 Great. 609 00:32:49,402 --> 00:32:52,709 Well. All right. 610 00:32:52,709 --> 00:32:56,583 - you boys have fun. - his idea of fun is a fuckin' pottery class, yo. 611 00:32:56,583 --> 00:33:00,587 Hey. Hey, hey. Watch your mouth, little man. 612 00:33:00,587 --> 00:33:02,023 [ Kisses ] I love you. 613 00:33:02,023 --> 00:33:03,677 I love you too. 614 00:33:09,074 --> 00:33:11,772 I got shotgun! 615 00:33:11,772 --> 00:33:15,384 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. 616 00:33:15,384 --> 00:33:17,865 Stop. Who are you? What do you want? 617 00:33:17,865 --> 00:33:20,824 I'm danny from sturdy wings. I'm here for augie. 618 00:33:20,824 --> 00:33:24,872 Oh. [ Chuckling ] Oh, I'm sorry. Augie, right. He'll be out in a minute. 619 00:33:24,872 --> 00:33:28,049 Let me ask you somethin', 'cause you're one of these guys that's good with kids, right? 620 00:33:28,049 --> 00:33:30,443 Right. Totally. 621 00:33:30,443 --> 00:33:32,662 'Cause, uh, the kid, man-- I don't get it. 622 00:33:32,662 --> 00:33:36,536 He's into dragons and fairies and, you know, uh, uh, hoboes. 623 00:33:36,536 --> 00:33:38,886 Right. So, I mean, what am I supposed to say to him? 624 00:33:38,886 --> 00:33:41,019 Yeah. I don't know. I don't-- hey, but m-- 625 00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:43,456 while I've got you here in my personal space, 626 00:33:43,456 --> 00:33:45,936 I was wondering if you could maybe sign off on my hours from yesterday. 627 00:33:45,936 --> 00:33:48,156 Oh, no, I'm not-- I'm not the kid's parent. 628 00:33:48,156 --> 00:33:51,420 No, that's, uh-- parental signatures are mama's department. One second. 629 00:33:51,420 --> 00:33:54,162 Lynette! Augie's little buddy's here. He, uh, needs your signature. 630 00:33:54,162 --> 00:33:56,991 Oh! Hi! Hi. 631 00:33:56,991 --> 00:33:59,124 I'm lynette. I'm danny. 632 00:33:59,124 --> 00:34:01,082 So good to meet you. You too. 633 00:34:01,082 --> 00:34:02,649 I was wondering if you could sign my hours sheet from yesterday. 634 00:34:02,649 --> 00:34:05,608 Sure! 635 00:34:05,608 --> 00:34:10,309 You know, we are so thrilled that you are gonna be spending some time with augie. 636 00:34:10,309 --> 00:34:14,574 - hmm. - because, you know, just how he is. 637 00:34:14,574 --> 00:34:18,404 How is he? 638 00:34:18,404 --> 00:34:20,667 I'm just glad you're gonna be getting him out of his own little world a bit. 639 00:34:20,667 --> 00:34:23,887 It's like, "get out of here! Leave home!" 640 00:34:23,887 --> 00:34:26,238 [ Laughing ] Hey, why don't you come over for dinner on saturday night, 641 00:34:26,238 --> 00:34:28,066 and we can get to know you a little bit better? 642 00:34:28,066 --> 00:34:30,590 I don't think so. It's not you. 643 00:34:30,590 --> 00:34:32,809 I, uh, hate having dinner with people. 644 00:34:32,809 --> 00:34:34,594 - hey, augie, ready to, uh-- - yeah, let's go. 645 00:34:34,594 --> 00:34:36,683 [ Chattering ] 646 00:34:41,340 --> 00:34:43,951 I think they're over here. 647 00:34:43,951 --> 00:34:46,649 I'm disappointed. This isn't gonna hurt anybody. 648 00:34:46,649 --> 00:34:48,869 So, your parents-- wow. 649 00:34:48,869 --> 00:34:51,480 Jim is not my dad. 650 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:55,397 Oh, okay. Well, that's probably good. 651 00:34:55,397 --> 00:34:58,661 [ Kuzzik ] hey, hey, odeon. Make way for king argotron! Oh! 652 00:35:01,099 --> 00:35:03,753 Dude. 653 00:35:06,365 --> 00:35:09,629 Bow as your daughter does. 654 00:35:09,629 --> 00:35:11,935 Xanthians. 655 00:35:11,935 --> 00:35:14,677 Why bother? [ Chortling ] 656 00:35:14,677 --> 00:35:16,462 Good one, sir. 657 00:35:18,725 --> 00:35:21,075 Man, why do you bow for that guy? 658 00:35:21,075 --> 00:35:23,730 Because he's the king, and he rules the entire realm. 659 00:35:23,730 --> 00:35:26,036 Oh, he rules the entire realm? Yeah. 660 00:35:26,036 --> 00:35:30,215 Oh, my bad. Is that when he is or isn't whackin' it to the sims? 661 00:35:30,215 --> 00:35:32,869 You know, augie, maybe you should think about losing the cape. 662 00:35:32,869 --> 00:35:35,176 At least in public. 663 00:35:35,176 --> 00:35:37,613 People tend to avoid people in capes. 664 00:35:37,613 --> 00:35:40,834 I know that's not the case here. 665 00:35:40,834 --> 00:35:44,272 - look at these people. - hoy! Ahoy! 666 00:35:44,272 --> 00:35:46,405 [ Horn beeping ] 667 00:35:47,971 --> 00:35:50,800 I like these people. No, I know. 668 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,368 But, you know, this isn't reality. It's not the real world. 669 00:35:53,368 --> 00:35:55,849 Uh, I know that, but in this world, I don't have to be me. 670 00:35:57,851 --> 00:36:00,375 [ Woman ] I'm stuck again! 671 00:36:00,375 --> 00:36:02,986 Well, looks like maybe one of your people could use a hand. 672 00:36:02,986 --> 00:36:05,163 I'm stuck! Help! Help! Help! Her I don't like. 673 00:36:13,867 --> 00:36:15,608 Okay. This is my place. 674 00:36:15,608 --> 00:36:17,392 Shit hole. 675 00:36:19,612 --> 00:36:23,398 Look, kid, you're obviously not a big fan of me, and that's okay. 676 00:36:23,398 --> 00:36:26,967 But, uh, I think there's something to be gained from us spending, um, 677 00:36:26,967 --> 00:36:29,622 139 more hours together. Yeah. 678 00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:33,452 You know, my dad left me when I was young, 679 00:36:33,452 --> 00:36:36,411 so I know it sucks. 680 00:36:36,411 --> 00:36:39,371 But, uh, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? 681 00:36:39,371 --> 00:36:41,242 Says the punk livin' in the shit hole. 682 00:36:43,026 --> 00:36:46,334 - who are these clowns? -Kiss? 683 00:36:46,334 --> 00:36:49,294 - you don't know who kiss is? - no. Never heard of 'em. 684 00:36:49,294 --> 00:36:51,818 They look like idiots to me. No, no, no, dude. 685 00:36:51,818 --> 00:36:53,776 These are four of the smartest guys who ever lived. 686 00:36:53,776 --> 00:36:56,692 They're these jewish guys that grew up in New York. 687 00:36:56,692 --> 00:36:59,434 They put on guitars and makeup to get girls, and all of their songs are about fucking! 688 00:36:59,434 --> 00:37:02,394 I'm listenin'. 689 00:37:02,394 --> 00:37:05,788 ♪ [ Rock ] 690 00:37:05,788 --> 00:37:09,009 Seriously, this song is called "love gun," 691 00:37:09,009 --> 00:37:12,491 And it's about paul stanley's dick and how this girl's gonna get some of his dick! 692 00:37:12,491 --> 00:37:14,406 ♪I Really Love You, Baby I know what you've got ♪ Cool. 693 00:37:14,406 --> 00:37:16,712 I didn't know jews could sing like that. 694 00:37:16,712 --> 00:37:18,888 They couldn't at the time. That's why they had to dress like clowns. 695 00:37:18,888 --> 00:37:21,761 ♪We Can Get Hot This got them girls? 696 00:37:21,761 --> 00:37:24,981 Get this! They've been getting pussy nonstop for 30 years! 697 00:37:24,981 --> 00:37:27,723 They're probably fucking right now, and they're old dudes! 698 00:37:27,723 --> 00:37:30,248 - they put makeup on, and it's all good! - no shit? 699 00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:34,774 [ Singing along ] ♪You Pull The Trigger Of my ♪ 700 00:37:34,774 --> 00:37:38,125 ♪Love Gun You see, ronnie? His dick is the gun! 701 00:37:38,125 --> 00:37:40,170 ♪Love Gun 702 00:37:41,302 --> 00:37:44,131 ♪Love Gun 703 00:37:44,131 --> 00:37:47,569 ♪Love Gun 704 00:37:47,569 --> 00:37:50,137 Okay, we logged 14 hours this weekend. 705 00:37:50,137 --> 00:37:52,748 That's not gonna be enough. 706 00:37:52,748 --> 00:37:55,751 Somehow we gotta get them on the weekdays too. Mmm. 707 00:37:55,751 --> 00:37:58,406 Hey, we could pretend to be their uncles, pull 'em out of school. 708 00:37:58,406 --> 00:38:00,669 That just sounds kinda creepy. Yeah, I guess. 709 00:38:00,669 --> 00:38:03,150 Hey! Sexy like a chocolate strawberry. 710 00:38:06,806 --> 00:38:08,677 What's her problem? I don't know. 711 00:38:08,677 --> 00:38:11,332 I mean, you laid that genius line on her. 712 00:38:11,332 --> 00:38:13,508 I can't believe she didn't take your bait. I know, right? 713 00:38:13,508 --> 00:38:16,294 Well, well, well. 714 00:38:16,294 --> 00:38:19,427 If it isn't Mr. Bullshit and Dr. I'm-full-of-shit. 715 00:38:19,427 --> 00:38:22,125 In what way are we full of shit? Which one of us has the pHD.? 716 00:38:22,125 --> 00:38:24,867 So how was your first weekend with the boys? 717 00:38:24,867 --> 00:38:27,696 It was great. We did 14 hours. Will you sign our sheets? 718 00:38:27,696 --> 00:38:29,742 Maybe give us a few more, just for kicks? 719 00:38:29,742 --> 00:38:32,745 Round it up to 50? Don't you sass me. 720 00:38:32,745 --> 00:38:35,269 What, do you think I'm a pushover? You know what I used to eat for breakfast? 721 00:38:35,269 --> 00:38:37,880 Cocaine. 722 00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:41,884 You know what I used to eat for lunch? Cocaine. 723 00:38:41,884 --> 00:38:44,626 What'd you have for dinner? Was it cocaine? 724 00:38:44,626 --> 00:38:48,587 I will sign your sheets, but you need to know I am not here to service your hours. 725 00:38:48,587 --> 00:38:50,806 I'm here to service these young boys. 726 00:38:50,806 --> 00:38:54,680 Do you think I give a shit if you guys go to prison? Huh? 727 00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:56,899 I've been to prison. Oh, I have. 728 00:38:56,899 --> 00:38:59,554 I've been to prison. 729 00:38:59,554 --> 00:39:04,385 A prison of drugs, alcohol and sick thoughts. 730 00:39:04,385 --> 00:39:06,256 I used to have sick thoughts. 731 00:39:06,256 --> 00:39:08,389 So don't you come in here, 732 00:39:08,389 --> 00:39:12,219 preaching to me about hours... 733 00:39:12,219 --> 00:39:15,004 When you're standin' over there, 734 00:39:15,004 --> 00:39:19,400 and you're standin' over there, and I don't know which way is up! 735 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,620 Um, should we come back? We can come back. Yeah. 736 00:39:21,620 --> 00:39:24,362 Come here. 737 00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:27,103 We're having an overnight camping trip. Big bear this weekend. 738 00:39:27,103 --> 00:39:29,932 I suggest that you ask your littles to go with you. 739 00:39:29,932 --> 00:39:33,980 Maybe worry a little bit about them and not so much about your hours. 740 00:39:33,980 --> 00:39:36,678 Overnight? That's great. Sign us up. Fellas, will you do me a favor? 741 00:39:36,678 --> 00:39:39,681 Next time you want to bullshit me, 742 00:39:39,681 --> 00:39:42,858 bullshit each other instead, okay? 743 00:39:42,858 --> 00:39:44,947 See how that feels. 744 00:39:44,947 --> 00:39:47,515 Okay. Yep. 745 00:39:47,515 --> 00:39:49,604 Okay. Okay. 746 00:39:49,604 --> 00:39:52,912 Okay. All right. 747 00:39:52,912 --> 00:39:55,784 I hate camping. You could use a little dose of the outdoors. 748 00:39:55,784 --> 00:39:58,874 Camping blows. It's dirty, and I don't like sleepin' on rocks. 749 00:39:58,874 --> 00:40:01,268 Bring some ambien. You'll sleep like a baby. 750 00:40:01,268 --> 00:40:05,098 There's always a guy with an acoustic guitar that doesn't quite know how to play it. 751 00:40:05,098 --> 00:40:08,188 ♪Kumbaya, My-- Wait. I know it. 752 00:40:08,188 --> 00:40:10,059 ♪Kumba-- You know. Wait. 753 00:40:10,059 --> 00:40:12,975 I-i know it. Wait. 754 00:40:12,975 --> 00:40:16,979 ♪Kumbaya, My Lord 755 00:40:16,979 --> 00:40:19,634 ♪Ku-- Oh, No, Wait. Oh, yeah, I got it. ♪Kumbaya This Is It. 756 00:40:19,634 --> 00:40:21,549 - ♪Kumbaya, My Lord - I think that's got it. 757 00:40:23,769 --> 00:40:26,989 ♪Kumbaya Goddamn it, ronnie! 758 00:40:26,989 --> 00:40:28,600 'Cause I'm black, you think I did it? 759 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:32,604 No 'cause you did it is why I think you did it. 760 00:40:32,604 --> 00:40:34,910 Let me tell you somethin'. I am not your big, and I'll hit you. 761 00:40:34,910 --> 00:40:38,131 I will hit a child. I've never done that before, but I will punch you in the face. 762 00:40:38,131 --> 00:40:40,438 Let's dance, ben affleck! Ronnie! 763 00:40:40,438 --> 00:40:42,657 Leave him alone. Fine! 764 00:40:42,657 --> 00:40:44,790 But I'm watchin' you, daredevil. 765 00:40:44,790 --> 00:40:48,750 Looks like you guys could use a hand up here. 766 00:40:48,750 --> 00:40:50,883 [ Laughing ] Come on, man! Just havin' some fun. 767 00:40:50,883 --> 00:40:53,059 Let's take a hike. [ Ronnie ] Thank you. 768 00:40:53,059 --> 00:40:55,670 Don't worry. Once the little ones are asleep, I'll break out the pg stuff. 769 00:40:55,670 --> 00:40:58,107 ♪Oh, Kumbaya Ah, "kumbaya," huh? 770 00:40:58,107 --> 00:41:00,501 - you don't happen to know any wings, do ya? - wings? Yeah. 771 00:41:00,501 --> 00:41:02,416 ♪Love, Take Me Down To the streets ♪ 772 00:41:02,416 --> 00:41:04,679 Ha-ha! Yeah! 773 00:41:04,679 --> 00:41:08,378 Man! She got some boobies on her! 774 00:41:08,378 --> 00:41:11,556 You sure do like boobies, ronnie. I sure do. 775 00:41:11,556 --> 00:41:14,167 Sometimes, I call myself the boobie watcher. 776 00:41:14,167 --> 00:41:17,387 Even got my own comic book, adventures of the boobie watcher. 777 00:41:17,387 --> 00:41:19,477 Okay. You know, I got a theory about boobies. 778 00:41:19,477 --> 00:41:22,175 Really? Yeah. 779 00:41:22,175 --> 00:41:25,526 You see, there are as many women as there are men on this planet. True that, true that. 780 00:41:25,526 --> 00:41:28,660 And every woman has two boobs, for the most part. 781 00:41:28,660 --> 00:41:31,706 So, therefore, there's twice as many boobs as there are men. 782 00:41:31,706 --> 00:41:33,621 We're outnumbered, and it's overwhelming. 783 00:41:33,621 --> 00:41:35,928 We're powerless. We have to accept it. 784 00:41:35,928 --> 00:41:38,844 I like your take on boobies. 785 00:41:38,844 --> 00:41:41,063 And I like boobies. 786 00:41:41,063 --> 00:41:43,065 Kid, you got a lot to learn. 787 00:41:43,065 --> 00:41:45,285 I know what I'm doin'. Oh, really? 788 00:41:45,285 --> 00:41:48,288 You're aware that you've committed one of the most common rookie boob-watching errors? 789 00:41:48,288 --> 00:41:51,421 - what you mean? - never stare at the boobies, kid. 790 00:41:51,421 --> 00:41:54,599 - yeah, once you get caught, the game's over. - but how? 791 00:41:54,599 --> 00:41:58,341 It's called training. You know, being aware without drawing attention. 792 00:41:58,341 --> 00:42:00,735 You don't think I've noticed the 34-c's in the camouflage tank top... 793 00:42:00,735 --> 00:42:04,130 Setting up the tent directly to the left of us? 794 00:42:04,130 --> 00:42:07,525 How 'bout those twin cannons hikin' up the mountain ridge 50 yards due west? 795 00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:09,570 Or the ridge itself? Round mounds of grass shaped like-- 796 00:42:09,570 --> 00:42:12,138 boobies! Don't look over there. Look here. 797 00:42:12,138 --> 00:42:14,532 Yeah, focus. Yeah. You'll get it. 798 00:42:17,839 --> 00:42:20,189 Oh, hi, danny. 799 00:42:20,189 --> 00:42:22,714 Uh, I forgot to tell ya, they'll be tellin', uh, 800 00:42:22,714 --> 00:42:25,107 [ Grunts ] Ghost stories later. 801 00:42:25,107 --> 00:42:27,327 You should stop by. [ Fly buzzing ] 802 00:42:27,327 --> 00:42:31,897 And as the barn door creaked open, ever so slowly, 803 00:42:31,897 --> 00:42:35,161 standing there with the moon at his back... 804 00:42:35,161 --> 00:42:38,991 And holding the severed head of the pediatrician's mother in his hand... 805 00:42:38,991 --> 00:42:42,342 Was... Philip! 806 00:42:42,342 --> 00:42:44,997 [ Boy ] What? 807 00:42:44,997 --> 00:42:47,042 The pizza delivery boy, from when they ordered pizza at the beginning of the story! 808 00:42:47,042 --> 00:42:49,175 Come on, you guys! 809 00:42:49,175 --> 00:42:51,612 All right. Whatever! Hey, come here. 810 00:42:51,612 --> 00:42:55,224 You guys are unscare-able. Think you can do better? Who's got a better story? 811 00:42:55,224 --> 00:42:56,835 You guys are so smart. Who's got a scarier story than me? 812 00:42:56,835 --> 00:42:59,011 Yes? So what's up? 813 00:42:59,011 --> 00:43:01,622 I don't know. What's up with you? 814 00:43:01,622 --> 00:43:04,016 I know you're engaged. I haven't forgotten. Uh-huh. 815 00:43:04,016 --> 00:43:06,540 So, what's this? Ooh-hoo. 816 00:43:06,540 --> 00:43:09,238 Those are my testicles. Yeah. 817 00:43:09,238 --> 00:43:12,024 Listen, I have an arrangement with my fiancé. 818 00:43:12,024 --> 00:43:15,593 I'm completely faithful to him within the area codes of greater Los Angeles. 819 00:43:15,593 --> 00:43:19,553 Out here, I'm just another woman who's ready to cheat. 820 00:43:19,553 --> 00:43:21,860 Give me two minutes. 821 00:43:21,860 --> 00:43:24,427 How 'bout you, daniel? You think you can top it? 822 00:43:24,427 --> 00:43:26,473 It's danny. Oh. 823 00:43:26,473 --> 00:43:29,476 ♪Oh, Danny Boy The danny boys ♪ 824 00:43:29,476 --> 00:43:32,871 ♪Are Danny Boys [ Chuckling ] 825 00:43:32,871 --> 00:43:36,048 Come on, man! We're on pins and needles. Give us a story. 826 00:43:36,048 --> 00:43:38,746 Okay, I've got a really good horror story, 827 00:43:38,746 --> 00:43:41,357 and it's particularly terrifying because it's true. 828 00:43:41,357 --> 00:43:43,533 Oh, a true story! 829 00:43:43,533 --> 00:43:47,494 In countries all over the world, including our own, 830 00:43:47,494 --> 00:43:50,628 children, many of them just like you, 831 00:43:50,628 --> 00:43:53,674 are abducted and sold... 832 00:43:53,674 --> 00:43:57,025 Into the world of underground sex trafficking. 833 00:43:57,025 --> 00:43:59,680 [ Girl ] What is he saying? [ Chuckling ] okay! 834 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:01,595 I'm gonna stop you there, danny boy. That is a scary story. 835 00:44:01,595 --> 00:44:05,294 Story time is over! Everybody, let's break into our groups. 836 00:44:05,294 --> 00:44:09,516 Group "a," come with me for martin's midnight mystery hike. 837 00:44:09,516 --> 00:44:11,866 And group "b," go with duane. What you got on tap, duane? 838 00:44:11,866 --> 00:44:14,521 We are gonna make some s'mores usin' white chocolate. 839 00:44:14,521 --> 00:44:17,785 Ooh! Well, I'm not sure I agree with that. But to each their own. 840 00:44:17,785 --> 00:44:20,745 Hey, hey, danny. Is this all your ambien? Yeah. 841 00:44:20,745 --> 00:44:23,182 Okay, 'cause, uh, connie and I are gonna take some, 842 00:44:23,182 --> 00:44:25,924 and then we're gonna stay up as late as we can. 843 00:44:25,924 --> 00:44:29,057 If you fight the urge to go to sleep, things start to get all trippy, then we're gonna fuck. 844 00:44:29,057 --> 00:44:31,886 Connie who's engaged. Oh, yeah. 845 00:44:31,886 --> 00:44:34,280 You know what? Don't worry about it. We'll make do with three each. 846 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:46,292 [ Grunts ] Fight it. Come on. Stay awake. 847 00:44:46,292 --> 00:44:49,512 You know, a lot of people don't realize that bushes, just like flowers, 848 00:44:49,512 --> 00:44:51,558 emit a wonderful aroma, especially at night. 849 00:44:51,558 --> 00:44:53,081 Who wants to sniff this bush? 850 00:45:00,959 --> 00:45:04,440 [ Sighs ] so ronnie's out on some kind of hike.Where's wheeler? 851 00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:06,616 He's having sex with a married lady. Oh. 852 00:45:06,616 --> 00:45:08,531 Are you sewing? Yeah. 853 00:45:08,531 --> 00:45:10,185 This is my country's emblem. 854 00:45:13,798 --> 00:45:16,626 Do you think we can speak in private for a second? 855 00:45:18,628 --> 00:45:21,283 Yeah. Um, yeah. Um-- [ Clicks tongue ] 856 00:45:21,283 --> 00:45:23,851 I already talked to kuzzik and artonius, 857 00:45:23,851 --> 00:45:26,245 and we would like to officially invite you... 858 00:45:26,245 --> 00:45:29,683 To be a soldier in the xanthian army. 859 00:45:29,683 --> 00:45:33,165 Well, that's very kind of you, but I would like to respectfully decline. 860 00:45:33,165 --> 00:45:36,081 I'm kind of a pacifist. I don't really believe in imaginary bloodshed. 861 00:45:36,081 --> 00:45:38,997 Oh, but there's room in laire for all belief systems. 862 00:45:38,997 --> 00:45:42,696 I mean, even early barbaric modalities have their place. 863 00:45:42,696 --> 00:45:46,918 [ Clicks tongue ] Augie, look, you're a good kid. I like you. 864 00:45:46,918 --> 00:45:51,226 But I'm not really into the whole buddy-buddy, let's-go-do- stuff-together kind of thing. 865 00:45:51,226 --> 00:45:52,750 Well, why are you here? 866 00:45:56,101 --> 00:45:58,190 It's court-ordered. 867 00:45:58,190 --> 00:45:59,757 Well, what did you do? 868 00:46:01,846 --> 00:46:05,284 I just had one of those days where you wake up and say, 869 00:46:05,284 --> 00:46:07,416 "where did the last 10 years of my life go?" 870 00:46:07,416 --> 00:46:11,029 I asked my girlfriend to marry me out of impulse. 871 00:46:11,029 --> 00:46:14,510 She dumped me. 872 00:46:14,510 --> 00:46:16,643 And then I ran a truck that looks like a bull into a statue of a horse. 873 00:46:18,514 --> 00:46:20,865 I'm not here by choice either, by the way. 874 00:46:20,865 --> 00:46:23,258 No? My guidance counselor signed me up. 875 00:46:23,258 --> 00:46:25,957 Really? Yeah. 876 00:46:25,957 --> 00:46:28,786 Said anyone who wears a cape and has a sword should have more friends. 877 00:46:28,786 --> 00:46:31,832 Whoop-dee-doo, right? 878 00:46:31,832 --> 00:46:34,095 So both of us don't want to be here. No. 879 00:46:34,095 --> 00:46:36,402 Well, we got that in common. 880 00:46:38,665 --> 00:46:41,015 So do you have a girlfriend? No. What? 881 00:46:41,015 --> 00:46:45,411 Why would you ask-- no. 882 00:46:45,411 --> 00:46:48,762 But what about that girl you're always, uh, lookin' at, with the cap and the-- 883 00:46:48,762 --> 00:46:51,809 I don't know what you're talkin' about. Come on! Don't bullshit me. 884 00:46:51,809 --> 00:46:54,115 You're always lookin' at her. 885 00:46:54,115 --> 00:46:57,553 You mean esplen, the goddess of navalore? I don't know. Probably. 886 00:46:57,553 --> 00:46:59,860 Her name's sara, sara. Sara. 887 00:46:59,860 --> 00:47:03,081 Oh, sara. 888 00:47:03,081 --> 00:47:05,953 You ever talk to her? No. 889 00:47:05,953 --> 00:47:08,173 I've killed her a couple times in battle, but that's not really anything. 890 00:47:08,173 --> 00:47:11,306 Talk to her.No, I can't talk to her. 891 00:47:11,306 --> 00:47:14,048 Romance her. Give her that patch of yours. She'll love it. 892 00:47:14,048 --> 00:47:15,963 No, I can't give her this. She'll be flattered! Why not? 893 00:47:15,963 --> 00:47:18,618 I made it for you. 894 00:47:20,359 --> 00:47:23,144 You made that for me? Yeah. 895 00:47:23,144 --> 00:47:26,234 - great. Now I gotta do it. - yeah, that kind of was my plan. 896 00:47:26,234 --> 00:47:28,758 That was so low, dude. [ Chuckles ] 897 00:47:32,414 --> 00:47:34,286 No. Come on, connie. Stay awake. 898 00:47:37,855 --> 00:47:40,596 Fuck. 899 00:47:40,596 --> 00:47:42,772 I gotta pee. 900 00:47:42,772 --> 00:47:44,600 Yep. 901 00:47:46,602 --> 00:47:49,301 Hey! Martin! Okay. 902 00:47:49,301 --> 00:47:51,259 What are you doin' out here? 903 00:47:51,259 --> 00:47:54,262 Um, I'm just doin' my perimeter check. 904 00:47:54,262 --> 00:47:57,135 Hey, did you know that dinosaurs are not extinct? 905 00:47:57,135 --> 00:48:00,616 Because birds are dinosaurs, and they're everywhere. 906 00:48:00,616 --> 00:48:03,228 Oh. Okay! [ Chuckling ] 907 00:48:03,228 --> 00:48:05,883 Oh, now, all right. 908 00:48:05,883 --> 00:48:08,407 I gotta pee. I really gotta pee. 909 00:48:12,672 --> 00:48:14,413 Look at that. [ Boy ] Eww! 910 00:48:14,413 --> 00:48:16,284 Yo, wheeler! You in there? 911 00:48:21,289 --> 00:48:23,857 - oh, my god. - [ Man ] Aw! 912 00:48:23,857 --> 00:48:25,946 Dude. Aw, nice, man. 913 00:48:25,946 --> 00:48:29,994 Oh, boy. This is a classic case of guy on the ground. 914 00:48:37,044 --> 00:48:38,872 I'm sorry. I don't care. 915 00:48:38,872 --> 00:48:41,570 Okay. 916 00:48:41,570 --> 00:48:43,050 So, I heard there was some sex on the trip. 917 00:48:43,050 --> 00:48:46,053 And some drugs too. 918 00:48:46,053 --> 00:48:48,273 Only thing missin' was rock 'n' roll. 919 00:48:51,450 --> 00:48:53,974 What was danny doing with those ambiens? 920 00:48:53,974 --> 00:48:57,673 He has trouble sleeping outdoors. 921 00:48:57,673 --> 00:48:59,719 How did wheeler come to be naked in the center of camp? 922 00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:01,982 He was sleepwalkin'. 923 00:49:01,982 --> 00:49:03,941 Danny ever offer you drugs? Well, uh-- 924 00:49:03,941 --> 00:49:06,117 answer me. No, ma'am. 925 00:49:06,117 --> 00:49:07,727 Did wheeler ever expose himself to you? 926 00:49:07,727 --> 00:49:09,729 Hell no! 927 00:49:12,123 --> 00:49:15,822 Fellas? These young gentlemen here have decided your fates. 928 00:49:15,822 --> 00:49:18,129 If it was up to me, I'd lock you both up, 929 00:49:18,129 --> 00:49:20,827 but the boys are sayin' you're okay. 930 00:49:20,827 --> 00:49:22,742 This is your last chance. Start actin' like bigs. 931 00:49:25,614 --> 00:49:28,835 - thanks, guys. - suck it,reindeer games! 932 00:49:28,835 --> 00:49:31,359 - I'm not ben affleck. - you white? Then you ben affleck. 933 00:49:31,359 --> 00:49:33,448 - right, wheeler? - yeah. You are white. 934 00:49:33,448 --> 00:49:35,407 That's true, I am white. Let's go. 935 00:49:36,886 --> 00:49:40,020 ♪ [ Rock ] 936 00:49:42,501 --> 00:49:45,547 ♪The Sun Is Shinin' In the sky ♪ 937 00:49:45,547 --> 00:49:49,029 ♪There Ain't A Cloud In sight ♪ 938 00:49:49,029 --> 00:49:51,466 ♪It Stopped Raining Everybody's in a play ♪ 939 00:49:51,466 --> 00:49:53,468 Ready to go? Yeah. Okay. All right. 940 00:49:53,468 --> 00:49:55,644 Excellent! Whoo! 941 00:49:55,644 --> 00:49:59,083 ♪It's A Beautiful New Day Hey ♪ [ Screams ] 942 00:49:59,083 --> 00:50:03,261 Oh, you're goin' down! Don't you mess with my dark arts. 943 00:50:03,261 --> 00:50:05,306 You shall be slain. Oh, yeah? 944 00:50:05,306 --> 00:50:07,700 - oh, yeah. - [ Screams ] 945 00:50:07,700 --> 00:50:10,790 Fuck my cock! Sorry. 946 00:50:10,790 --> 00:50:13,140 ♪Mr. Blue Sky Is living here today ♪ 947 00:50:13,140 --> 00:50:16,274 - I have a question, wheeler. - yes, JJ. 948 00:50:16,274 --> 00:50:19,451 How many dates do you have to go out with a girl before you get to touch her-- 949 00:50:19,451 --> 00:50:20,582 - boobs? - yeah. 950 00:50:20,582 --> 00:50:22,410 Hmm. Good question. 951 00:50:22,410 --> 00:50:25,631 -So you get hit in the arm, you lose your arm. - yes. 952 00:50:25,631 --> 00:50:28,068 You gotta put it behind you, like this. 953 00:50:28,068 --> 00:50:30,810 You get hit in the leg, you lose the leg. See ya. 954 00:50:30,810 --> 00:50:33,247 So you gotta hop. You can't use it for the rest of the game. 955 00:50:33,247 --> 00:50:35,945 Yeah. You gotta hop. And if you get hit in the chest-- 956 00:50:35,945 --> 00:50:38,557 [ Screams ] 957 00:50:38,557 --> 00:50:40,428 - zak. - are you scared the lifestyle you chose... 958 00:50:40,428 --> 00:50:42,648 Could lead to dying sad and alone? What? 959 00:50:42,648 --> 00:50:44,911 - no. - what about ST.D.'s? Herpes? 960 00:50:44,911 --> 00:50:47,305 Gonorrhea? At the very least, crabs. What the hell? 961 00:50:47,305 --> 00:50:50,003 I don't have crabs. What have you been tellin' 'em, ronnie? 962 00:50:50,003 --> 00:50:51,744 You got crabs. 963 00:50:53,311 --> 00:50:56,792 Hi. Oh! 964 00:50:56,792 --> 00:50:59,708 ♪Hey, You With the pretty face ♪ 965 00:50:59,708 --> 00:51:04,757 ♪Welcome To The Human Race A celebration ♪ 966 00:51:04,757 --> 00:51:07,934 Come on, whitey, dance! Break it on down! Get it funky! 967 00:51:07,934 --> 00:51:10,067 ♪And Today Is The Day We've waited for ♪ He's out. 968 00:51:10,067 --> 00:51:12,243 Oh! Oh. 969 00:51:12,243 --> 00:51:14,114 Boop! Aaah! 970 00:51:14,114 --> 00:51:17,117 Boop!♪Mr. Blue Sky Please tell us why ♪ 971 00:51:17,117 --> 00:51:21,295 ♪You Had To Hide Away For so long so long ♪ 972 00:51:21,295 --> 00:51:22,949 ♪Where Did We Go Wrong [ Shouts ] 973 00:51:24,385 --> 00:51:27,301 ♪Hey There, Mr. Blue 974 00:51:27,301 --> 00:51:30,174 ♪We're So Pleased To be with you ♪ 975 00:51:30,174 --> 00:51:32,654 Thank you. Yep. 976 00:51:32,654 --> 00:51:34,830 Call her. Sweep her off her feet. 977 00:51:34,830 --> 00:51:37,485 It's not that easy, augie. Just let her know how you feel. 978 00:51:37,485 --> 00:51:40,140 Give her one call. All right. I'll-- 979 00:51:40,140 --> 00:51:43,970 just get off my back. Did you know in the 14th century that, uh, 980 00:51:43,970 --> 00:51:46,407 knights used to write love songs and poems for the women they loved, 981 00:51:46,407 --> 00:51:49,106 even if she was married? No, I didn't know that. 982 00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:51,369 Well, there you go.It's her voice mail. 983 00:51:51,369 --> 00:51:53,936 Hey, beth. How's it goin'? It's me. 984 00:51:53,936 --> 00:51:56,330 Tell her her hair is like a thousand suns. Um, look, I, uh-- 985 00:51:56,330 --> 00:51:58,593 I was wonderin' if maybe you wanted to get together. 986 00:51:58,593 --> 00:52:01,509 I know there's a lot of stuff I'd like to say.[ Whispers ] whispering eye. 987 00:52:01,509 --> 00:52:05,122 So, if you get a chance, uh, give me a call back and--you long for her whispering eye. 988 00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:07,472 We can see each other. 989 00:52:07,472 --> 00:52:09,561 I-i-i'd love to see ya. And her whispering eye. 990 00:52:09,561 --> 00:52:12,216 And your whispering eye. 991 00:52:12,216 --> 00:52:14,870 All right. Um, bye. [ Gasps ] 992 00:52:14,870 --> 00:52:17,264 Whispering eye? 993 00:52:17,264 --> 00:52:19,005 It-- it means vagina. [ Snickers ] 994 00:52:21,616 --> 00:52:24,576 It means vagina. 995 00:52:24,576 --> 00:52:27,318 That's a classy move, man. It means vagina. 996 00:52:27,318 --> 00:52:31,670 Yeah. Get your whispering eye in the cab, augie. Vagina! 997 00:52:35,891 --> 00:52:37,763 [ Bell jingles ] [ Danny ] Hey. 998 00:52:38,894 --> 00:52:41,201 Hi. 999 00:52:41,201 --> 00:52:42,985 Thanks for meeting me. 1000 00:52:42,985 --> 00:52:46,511 I got you a, uh, venti chai, 1001 00:52:46,511 --> 00:52:50,210 which is what they call a large here, which I love. Wow. 1002 00:52:50,210 --> 00:52:53,779 There's a transformation. 1003 00:52:53,779 --> 00:52:57,217 Yes, well, you know, I've been doing this community service for almost a month, 1004 00:52:57,217 --> 00:52:59,959 and I really feel as if it's given me some perspective on things. 1005 00:52:59,959 --> 00:53:02,309 Well, that's-- that's great. I hope that's true, danny. 1006 00:53:02,309 --> 00:53:04,616 So let's get married. 1007 00:53:04,616 --> 00:53:07,227 Okay, I'm gonna leave now. Wait. Whoa. 1008 00:53:07,227 --> 00:53:09,229 Danny, you are not taking this breakup seriously. 1009 00:53:09,229 --> 00:53:10,839 Yeah, because I don't want it. 1010 00:53:13,233 --> 00:53:15,279 Do you really think I wanted this? 1011 00:53:15,279 --> 00:53:18,847 Look. Hey. This is us. 1012 00:53:18,847 --> 00:53:21,285 This is not us. 1013 00:53:21,285 --> 00:53:23,809 We have not been us in a while, because you are not you. 1014 00:53:23,809 --> 00:53:26,551 Danny, you're not happy. 1015 00:53:26,551 --> 00:53:29,554 I've been with you seven years, and it's been getting progressively worse. 1016 00:53:29,554 --> 00:53:34,559 And it makes me feel bad about me, that I can't make you happier. 1017 00:53:34,559 --> 00:53:37,736 Where am I gonna find a girl who hates all the same things I do? 1018 00:53:37,736 --> 00:53:39,738 You're so romantic. 1019 00:53:39,738 --> 00:53:42,784 Hey. Hey. 1020 00:53:42,784 --> 00:53:44,612 You complete me. 1021 00:53:47,398 --> 00:53:49,835 You had me at hello. Oh, god. Danny. 1022 00:53:49,835 --> 00:53:52,707 Come on, beth. You're not-- you're not hearing what I'm saying to you. 1023 00:53:52,707 --> 00:53:56,102 I am just a girl standing in front of a boy, telling her that you love her. 1024 00:53:56,102 --> 00:53:58,060 You don't even know that one. Hey. Come on. 1025 00:53:58,060 --> 00:54:00,802 Who you gonna call? 1026 00:54:00,802 --> 00:54:04,197 Ghostbusters.Okay. You know what? No. I am committing to this breakup. 1027 00:54:04,197 --> 00:54:05,416 This is the best thing for us. 1028 00:54:09,942 --> 00:54:11,596 You can call me if you need legal advice. 1029 00:54:13,772 --> 00:54:15,556 [ Bell jingles ] 1030 00:54:22,171 --> 00:54:25,740 [ Shouts ] Come on! Let's kill some cassadonians! 1031 00:54:25,740 --> 00:54:28,177 Oh, and I got a little somethin'-somethin' for you to wear. 1032 00:54:30,310 --> 00:54:31,964 Yeah, I'm not gonna wear this. 1033 00:54:31,964 --> 00:54:34,575 No? 1034 00:54:34,575 --> 00:54:36,273 Soon enough. Soon enough you'll want it. 1035 00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:39,058 Yeah. 1036 00:54:39,058 --> 00:54:42,583 Yo, wheeler. What up, dog? You scoundrel. What are you doin', man? 1037 00:54:42,583 --> 00:54:44,933 Yo, hogan's havin' another party tonight, man. You gotta go. 1038 00:54:44,933 --> 00:54:47,849 There's gonna be a lot of sweet-ass pussy there. Girl pussy. 1039 00:54:47,849 --> 00:54:50,678 Ooh. Uh-- 1040 00:54:50,678 --> 00:54:53,333 uh, thanks for the offer. Maybe some other time. 1041 00:54:53,333 --> 00:54:56,249 [ Chuckles ] You're the king, wheeler. You're the king. 1042 00:54:56,249 --> 00:55:00,732 Dude, don't give up that sweet-ass pussy on my account. I'll go with ya. 1043 00:55:00,732 --> 00:55:03,865 Okay. If you say so. All right. You're my P.IC., wheeler. 1044 00:55:03,865 --> 00:55:06,041 What's a P.IC.? "Partner in crime." 1045 00:55:06,041 --> 00:55:08,957 You're my P.IC. Just don't cock-block me tonight. 1046 00:55:08,957 --> 00:55:11,264 [ Wheeler ] Wouldn't dream of it. We'll have a great time. 1047 00:55:11,264 --> 00:55:14,354 We'll go to the party, we'll get some zah, play some xbox. Damn straight. 1048 00:55:14,354 --> 00:55:18,227 [ Kuzzik ] Countrymen, smell the battle in the air! 1049 00:55:18,227 --> 00:55:21,361 Ah, esplen, goddess of navalore. 1050 00:55:21,361 --> 00:55:25,104 Venus herself would be jealous. Braman, good to see you. 1051 00:55:25,104 --> 00:55:27,802 Good morrow, sir! Good morrow to you. [ Man ] good morning. 1052 00:55:27,802 --> 00:55:30,544 Keep your blades sharp and your wits sharper. 1053 00:55:30,544 --> 00:55:34,983 Ah! Gleebo, look at you. A visage. 1054 00:55:34,983 --> 00:55:38,639 Men, get ready to dance-- with swords! [ Laughs ] 1055 00:55:38,639 --> 00:55:44,384 Alack and allay! What lovely vassal has mercury delivered upon us today-- 1056 00:55:44,384 --> 00:55:47,126 and in such strange and frightful attire? 1057 00:55:47,126 --> 00:55:50,999 Ah, let us thank the gods for sending us such a brave and valiant warrior to xanthia. 1058 00:55:50,999 --> 00:55:53,480 - all hail lunesta. - hail lunesta! 1059 00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:55,090 How's it goin'? [ Artonius ] Lunesta? 1060 00:55:55,090 --> 00:55:57,789 Isn't that a sleeping pill? Oh. 1061 00:55:57,789 --> 00:56:00,357 Yeah. It's 'cause I send my enemies to their eternal resting place. 1062 00:56:00,357 --> 00:56:02,794 [ Laughs ] To sleep, perchance to dream. 1063 00:56:02,794 --> 00:56:05,927 Well, welcome, lunesta. We bid you good battle. 1064 00:56:05,927 --> 00:56:08,321 Prepare to have your worldview rocked. 1065 00:56:08,321 --> 00:56:10,584 Let's do this. Let's do this, we shall! 1066 00:56:10,584 --> 00:56:13,152 [ Laughs ] 1067 00:56:20,115 --> 00:56:22,640 The battle... 1068 00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:25,207 Begins! [ Squawks ] 1069 00:56:25,207 --> 00:56:27,427 [ All shouting ] 1070 00:56:30,430 --> 00:56:31,605 [ Grunting ] 1071 00:56:39,831 --> 00:56:42,486 [ Man shouting ] [ Man #2 ] Turn and fight, coward! 1072 00:56:42,486 --> 00:56:44,879 [ Man #1 ] You'll never catch me! Oh! 1073 00:56:44,879 --> 00:56:46,968 [ Panting ] 1074 00:56:49,580 --> 00:56:52,452 - what have you got? -[ augie groans ] 1075 00:56:52,452 --> 00:56:54,454 The cassadonians have our kinsmen surrounded. 1076 00:56:54,454 --> 00:56:57,675 Leave them for davith. 1077 00:56:57,675 --> 00:57:00,286 [ Chuckles ] Prepare for a "glen-cracken"! 1078 00:57:06,771 --> 00:57:08,773 [ Whispers ] Oh, comrades! 1079 00:57:08,773 --> 00:57:10,992 Cassadonia! [ All cheering ] 1080 00:57:13,691 --> 00:57:16,607 The king is unprotected. 1081 00:57:16,607 --> 00:57:20,045 I shall approach him from the rear. 1082 00:57:20,045 --> 00:57:21,786 [ Woman screams ] [ Man ] Ah! God save you! 1083 00:57:21,786 --> 00:57:23,309 [ Man, woman shouting ] 1084 00:57:28,488 --> 00:57:32,666 Oh. Oh, fuck me. All right. You got it. I got ya. 1085 00:57:32,666 --> 00:57:34,973 [ Chuckles ] that's, uh-- you look amazing. Thanks, man. 1086 00:57:34,973 --> 00:57:37,366 [ Grunts ] You're dead. No way. I killed you. 1087 00:57:37,366 --> 00:57:40,326 [ Argotron ] You didn't kill me. Now exeunt this battlefield. 1088 00:57:40,326 --> 00:57:42,546 - [ Augie ] wait a second. That's not fair. -Listen, you little twerp. 1089 00:57:42,546 --> 00:57:45,940 You've been slain by the mighty king. Now get lost. 1090 00:57:45,940 --> 00:57:48,508 - and take some pride in dying an honorable death. -No, but-but I killed you. 1091 00:57:48,508 --> 00:57:50,815 You can't kill me after I already killed you. 1092 00:57:50,815 --> 00:57:53,121 Davith of glencracken. Yes, my liege. 1093 00:57:53,121 --> 00:57:56,081 - didst he slay me? - he doth not slay the king. 1094 00:57:56,081 --> 00:57:58,431 - you weren't even here when it happened! - was too here. 1095 00:57:58,431 --> 00:58:00,955 Everyone, I'm-- I'm tellin' you the truth. I killed the king! 1096 00:58:00,955 --> 00:58:03,305 [ Crowd chuckling ] I-- 1097 00:58:03,305 --> 00:58:06,091 why don't you believe me? Dost the xanthian weep like a maiden. 1098 00:58:06,091 --> 00:58:09,007 [ Laughing ] Why are you laughing at me? 1099 00:58:09,007 --> 00:58:11,618 -What are you doing? - danny, I didn't-- 1100 00:58:11,618 --> 00:58:15,535 I killed the king. You're lying. 1101 00:58:15,535 --> 00:58:18,233 Are you calling me a liar? You're a liar. 1102 00:58:18,233 --> 00:58:20,975 Danny, just drop it. Let's just get out of here. It doesn't matter. 1103 00:58:20,975 --> 00:58:23,282 Are you telling me a kid could slay the mighty king? 1104 00:58:23,282 --> 00:58:26,677 Not a real king, but... You, yeah. 1105 00:58:26,677 --> 00:58:29,201 - you're lying. I can tell. - danny, stop. 1106 00:58:29,201 --> 00:58:30,898 He killed you. Give him your hat. It's a crown. 1107 00:58:30,898 --> 00:58:32,291 - give him your hat. - danny. 1108 00:58:32,291 --> 00:58:34,032 It's a crown, dude! 1109 00:58:35,555 --> 00:58:36,948 Dude! You're a liar. 1110 00:58:36,948 --> 00:58:39,037 It's a piece of plastic. 1111 00:58:39,037 --> 00:58:40,778 [ All shouting ][ Argotron ] Okay, game over. 1112 00:58:42,606 --> 00:58:44,782 You both are disqualified from laire forever. 1113 00:58:44,782 --> 00:58:45,783 - what? - are you kidding me? 1114 00:58:49,787 --> 00:58:51,963 Augie! 1115 00:58:51,963 --> 00:58:53,834 Augie! 1116 00:58:56,097 --> 00:58:58,535 Augie. Leave me alone. 1117 00:58:58,535 --> 00:59:01,146 Look. I'm sorry. 1118 00:59:01,146 --> 00:59:03,496 No, you're not sorry. You don't care about any of this! 1119 00:59:03,496 --> 00:59:05,454 This is so unfair! 1120 00:59:05,454 --> 00:59:08,153 [ Shouts ] 1121 00:59:08,153 --> 00:59:10,590 Hey, come on, buddy. 1122 00:59:10,590 --> 00:59:13,767 I'm not your buddy! You're only doing this because the judge is making you. 1123 00:59:13,767 --> 00:59:15,856 You know, that's fine if you don't give a shit, 1124 00:59:15,856 --> 00:59:18,337 but you don't have to ruin it for me, because I do give a shit! 1125 00:59:18,337 --> 00:59:19,817 I give lots of shits! [ Shouts ] 1126 00:59:23,690 --> 00:59:27,041 - look, it's gonna be okay. - no, it's not gonna be okay! 1127 00:59:27,041 --> 00:59:29,827 You're the worst mentor ever! No wonder your girlfriend left you, you asshole! 1128 00:59:32,656 --> 00:59:34,571 ♪ [ Rock ] 1129 00:59:36,442 --> 00:59:38,270 ♪ [ Continues ] 1130 00:59:38,270 --> 00:59:40,098 [ Chattering ] 1131 00:59:43,405 --> 00:59:45,756 Yo, wheeler. What's up, man? Hey. What's up? 1132 00:59:45,756 --> 00:59:48,236 Okay, kid. Let's mingle. 1133 00:59:48,236 --> 00:59:49,760 [ Whispers ] Let's do it. 1134 00:59:51,544 --> 00:59:53,111 Whoa, whoa. Whoa. Yeah. 1135 00:59:57,202 --> 01:00:00,509 Excuse me, miss. Yes? 1136 01:00:00,509 --> 01:00:03,556 You're sexy like a chocolate strawberry. 1137 01:00:03,556 --> 01:00:05,645 -[ woman ] Who told you to say that? - that's wheeler. 1138 01:00:05,645 --> 01:00:08,779 My P.IC. 1139 01:00:08,779 --> 01:00:10,650 ♪ [ Hip-hop ] 1140 01:00:10,650 --> 01:00:13,131 - nice. - come on, baby! 1141 01:00:13,131 --> 01:00:14,306 Pass it. No. 1142 01:00:14,306 --> 01:00:16,221 No. No! 1143 01:00:16,221 --> 01:00:18,658 Hey. I'm gonna rock a squirt. 1144 01:00:18,658 --> 01:00:20,704 - so you watch the kid for a few minutes? - sure thing. 1145 01:00:20,704 --> 01:00:23,358 You're the king, wheeler. You're the king. 1146 01:00:23,358 --> 01:00:24,969 Yeah. [ Indistinct ] 1147 01:00:38,112 --> 01:00:39,940 [ Sighs ] Long line. 1148 01:00:39,940 --> 01:00:41,594 I've seen longer. 1149 01:00:41,594 --> 01:00:43,378 Have we met? 1150 01:00:43,378 --> 01:00:46,294 I don't know. Have we? [ Chuckles ] 1151 01:00:46,294 --> 01:00:48,427 What do you do? 1152 01:00:48,427 --> 01:00:51,299 Well, I'm kind of on hiatus right now, 1153 01:00:51,299 --> 01:00:54,738 but, uh, my job is to dress up like a minotaur and keep kids off drugs. 1154 01:00:54,738 --> 01:00:58,263 Well, that's how I know you. I teach at morgan elementary. 1155 01:00:58,263 --> 01:01:00,526 That's so funny, 'cause I think elementary school is hot. 1156 01:01:00,526 --> 01:01:02,310 [ Doorbell rings ] 1157 01:01:04,922 --> 01:01:07,402 Hey. 1158 01:01:07,402 --> 01:01:09,753 What are you doing here? I wanted to talk to you. 1159 01:01:09,753 --> 01:01:12,190 No, I don't want to talk to you right now. Hey, danny. 1160 01:01:12,190 --> 01:01:15,236 You decided to come for dinner. Great. Come on in. 1161 01:01:15,236 --> 01:01:17,586 Thanks. Goddamn it! 1162 01:01:19,501 --> 01:01:23,288 What's up his kooz? [ Door closes ] 1163 01:01:23,288 --> 01:01:26,378 - god, I'm really kicking your ass. - that's because this is soccer. 1164 01:01:26,378 --> 01:01:28,902 - black folks don't play soccer. - that guy's black. Right there. 1165 01:01:33,820 --> 01:01:36,214 - whoa, whoa. - you sit down, young man. 1166 01:01:36,214 --> 01:01:39,739 Oh, you have been a bad boy! 1167 01:01:39,739 --> 01:01:42,046 I've been bad. And now you're gonna have to stay after class. 1168 01:01:42,046 --> 01:01:44,875 Oh, man. Look. 1169 01:01:44,875 --> 01:01:47,355 Even though this is one of my top four all-time fantasies, I can't, okay? 1170 01:01:47,355 --> 01:01:49,183 I want to, but I gotta go find my friend. 1171 01:01:49,183 --> 01:01:51,185 Oh, yeah? 1172 01:01:51,185 --> 01:01:53,231 You sure? 1173 01:01:53,231 --> 01:01:55,189 Oh, my god. 1174 01:01:57,104 --> 01:01:59,106 He'll be fine. He's 10. Come here. 1175 01:01:59,106 --> 01:02:01,674 Let's go. 1176 01:02:01,674 --> 01:02:04,068 Uh-oh. Uh-oh. This is how it ends. 1177 01:02:04,068 --> 01:02:06,548 Game winner! I win! 1178 01:02:06,548 --> 01:02:08,942 Let's go, michael. Man, forget you, man. 1179 01:02:08,942 --> 01:02:11,162 That's "boody," son. Let's go. I'm ready. 1180 01:02:13,207 --> 01:02:15,732 They don't call me the king of this game for nothin'! 1181 01:02:19,910 --> 01:02:21,955 Wheeler, where you at? 1182 01:02:25,698 --> 01:02:28,353 ♪ [ Hip-hop ] Wheeler? 1183 01:02:28,353 --> 01:02:30,790 Wheeler. Wheeler. 1184 01:02:30,790 --> 01:02:32,618 Wheeler. 1185 01:02:34,925 --> 01:02:37,797 So, danny, you must be glad that you're almost done... 1186 01:02:37,797 --> 01:02:40,669 With your required time... With augie. 1187 01:02:40,669 --> 01:02:44,021 How much time do you have left? 1188 01:02:44,021 --> 01:02:47,546 - uh, 11, 12 hours or so. - mm-hmm. 1189 01:02:47,546 --> 01:02:50,157 - geez. You're actin' like your goldfish died. - I don't have a goldfish, jim. 1190 01:02:50,157 --> 01:02:52,943 You know what I mean. You're acting like-- as if you had a goldfish... And it died. 1191 01:02:54,727 --> 01:02:56,990 Augie kind of got screwed over today. 1192 01:02:56,990 --> 01:02:59,297 I killed the king, mom. 1193 01:02:59,297 --> 01:03:01,299 Okay. [ Danny ] He killed the king. 1194 01:03:01,299 --> 01:03:02,996 All right. Don't encourage him. 1195 01:03:02,996 --> 01:03:06,434 But he was lying to everyone and told everyone that he killed me. 1196 01:03:06,434 --> 01:03:10,003 I don't wanna hear any more about your dungeons & dragons or your fruity cocoa puffs-- 1197 01:03:10,003 --> 01:03:13,050 it's all fairyland with him. We're trying to keep it-- we're trying to keep it real. 1198 01:03:13,050 --> 01:03:15,139 The goddess of navalore saw me cry, mom. 1199 01:03:15,139 --> 01:03:18,229 Hey, augie. When I was a little kid, I accidentally... 1200 01:03:18,229 --> 01:03:20,535 Crapped my pants in front of a girl I liked, 1201 01:03:20,535 --> 01:03:23,190 so I feel your pain. 1202 01:03:23,190 --> 01:03:25,453 Well, he likes girls. That's a good thing. That's a surprise to me. 1203 01:03:25,453 --> 01:03:27,847 Doesn't matter anyway. He got me kicked out. 1204 01:03:27,847 --> 01:03:30,328 What?[ Jim ] What? You're kidding me. 1205 01:03:30,328 --> 01:03:32,765 - they can kick you out? - yeah, I'm banned. - this is a great thing. 1206 01:03:32,765 --> 01:03:36,203 - way to go, big guy. - does this mean we can finally get rid of those boots... 1207 01:03:36,203 --> 01:03:39,511 And that god-awful cape that you made out of my tablecloth? I'm so sick of this. 1208 01:03:39,511 --> 01:03:42,035 I'll burn 'em up in a-- we'll have a bonfire. We'll make a thing of it. 1209 01:03:42,035 --> 01:03:44,472 Don't you want him to wear what makes him happy? 1210 01:03:44,472 --> 01:03:47,040 Yes. Yes, I do. Yes. 1211 01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:49,216 You know when I want him to wear what makes him happy? 1212 01:03:49,216 --> 01:03:51,218 On october 31. 1213 01:03:51,218 --> 01:03:53,699 Halloween, go nuts. 1214 01:03:53,699 --> 01:03:55,483 Wear lipstick. I don't care. Yeah. Yeah. 1215 01:03:55,483 --> 01:03:58,051 You know, dress like a nun. Sure. 1216 01:03:58,051 --> 01:04:01,838 We're gonna have a celebration to celebrate you joining the rest of the world. 1217 01:04:01,838 --> 01:04:05,015 -[ jim ] Becoming a normal kid. - he is a normal kid. 1218 01:04:05,015 --> 01:04:06,886 You think he's normal? Yeah, I think he's normal. 1219 01:04:06,886 --> 01:04:09,149 You think he's normal. He's normal. 1220 01:04:09,149 --> 01:04:12,283 When I was his age, I had four, five girlfriends at one time. Didn't I tell you that? 1221 01:04:12,283 --> 01:04:14,938 [ Lynette ] He was-- he was fucking his cousin. 1222 01:04:14,938 --> 01:04:18,550 I wasn't fucking my cousin. I-- we kissed because I didn't know she was my cousin, but-- 1223 01:04:18,550 --> 01:04:21,596 when I found out, I stopped kissing her. But I-- I fucked her friends. 1224 01:04:21,596 --> 01:04:24,425 I fucked her-- my cousin's friends. 1225 01:04:24,425 --> 01:04:26,906 I think augie is just havin' kind of a tough time in life, 1226 01:04:26,906 --> 01:04:29,082 which sounds pretty normal to me. Life is tough. 1227 01:04:29,082 --> 01:04:31,302 Oh, it is tough. But you know what? This is my point. 1228 01:04:31,302 --> 01:04:33,347 It's tougher when you-- with parents like you? 1229 01:04:33,347 --> 01:04:36,611 Excuse me? What did you just say? 1230 01:04:36,611 --> 01:04:40,267 I said it is tough. But I think it's tougher with parents like you. 1231 01:04:40,267 --> 01:04:42,922 I thought that's what you said. I don't know how you do it. 1232 01:04:42,922 --> 01:04:45,316 I mean, I thought my life sucked. Jesus christ, I really feel for ya. 1233 01:04:45,316 --> 01:04:47,927 -[ jim ] Okay. That's enough. -[ danny ] don't listen to them. 1234 01:04:47,927 --> 01:04:50,712 Do what makes you happy. You want to wear a cape? Wear a cape. 1235 01:04:50,712 --> 01:04:53,672 - you want to wear a suit of armor? Who gives a shit? -[ lynette ] you know what? 1236 01:04:53,672 --> 01:04:55,717 I would never have invited you over for moussaka... 1237 01:04:55,717 --> 01:04:57,632 If I'd known you were gonna be such a prick. Excuse me. 1238 01:04:57,632 --> 01:04:59,721 Augie, screw them. 1239 01:04:59,721 --> 01:05:01,898 Do what makes you happy. Hey, whoa, whoa. 1240 01:05:01,898 --> 01:05:04,248 - whoa, whoa, whoa! Do what makes you happy. - hey, buddy-- 1241 01:05:04,248 --> 01:05:06,990 - I'd like you to leave now, please. - I figure... 1242 01:05:06,990 --> 01:05:09,993 You're probably not gonna sign my hours sheet now. Go fuck yourself. 1243 01:05:09,993 --> 01:05:12,082 That's what I thought. Hey, augie, I'm sorry. 1244 01:05:12,082 --> 01:05:15,346 [ Jim ] Get the hell out. 1245 01:05:15,346 --> 01:05:16,608 I'd be psyched if he was my kid. Please. 1246 01:05:20,351 --> 01:05:24,921 And you know what, sweetheart? It's not that we're not psyched that you're our kid. 1247 01:05:24,921 --> 01:05:27,488 We're psyched. I'm so psyched, I can't stand it. 1248 01:05:27,488 --> 01:05:29,229 Your mom's psyched that you're her kid. 1249 01:05:29,229 --> 01:05:30,796 May I please be excused, mom? 1250 01:05:41,807 --> 01:05:44,201 ♪ [ Hip-hop ] Whoo, whoo! 1251 01:05:44,201 --> 01:05:46,420 [ Xbox buttons clicking ] 1252 01:05:46,420 --> 01:05:49,119 Hey. Where's ronnie? Who's ronnie, dude? 1253 01:05:49,119 --> 01:05:52,122 Oh, shit. Ronnie! 1254 01:05:52,122 --> 01:05:53,993 Ronnie. 1255 01:05:53,993 --> 01:05:55,995 ♪ [ Continues ] What's up, man? 1256 01:05:55,995 --> 01:05:58,302 Hey. How ya doin'? Ro-ro. 1257 01:06:00,652 --> 01:06:02,567 Anybody, uh, see the little kid I was with? 1258 01:06:02,567 --> 01:06:06,397 [ Beeping ]This is karen, ronnie's mother. 1259 01:06:06,397 --> 01:06:09,008 Ronnie was supposed to be home a few hours ago. 1260 01:06:09,008 --> 01:06:11,663 [ Beeps ] This is karen again. 1261 01:06:11,663 --> 01:06:15,667 Can you guys please call me and let me know where you are? [ Beeps ] 1262 01:06:15,667 --> 01:06:19,758 Ronnie just got in. He walked all the way home. What the hell-- 1263 01:06:19,758 --> 01:06:21,716 - you're out. - look-- 1264 01:06:21,716 --> 01:06:23,588 no. It's over. You blew it. It's done.fini. 1265 01:06:23,588 --> 01:06:25,894 I hear what you're saying. We're very sorry, 1266 01:06:25,894 --> 01:06:27,809 but we're 11 hours short. 1267 01:06:27,809 --> 01:06:30,029 And you're gonna stay 11 hours short. I don't know. 1268 01:06:30,029 --> 01:06:31,770 Parents don't want you hangin' around with their kids for some reason. 1269 01:06:31,770 --> 01:06:36,079 So, ya BS.'ed a b.s.'er. 1270 01:06:36,079 --> 01:06:38,864 Good for you! I hope you feel good about yourself, goddamn it! 1271 01:06:40,909 --> 01:06:43,912 You know, I could be back in New York... 1272 01:06:43,912 --> 01:06:46,263 Doin' cocaine in the village, 1273 01:06:46,263 --> 01:06:48,569 but I'm not. 1274 01:06:48,569 --> 01:06:52,182 You know why? Kids come first. 1275 01:06:52,182 --> 01:06:54,010 They don't come first for you, do they? 1276 01:06:54,010 --> 01:06:56,925 They come second to your selfishness. 1277 01:06:56,925 --> 01:06:59,189 So why don't you two guys go home, 1278 01:06:59,189 --> 01:07:01,887 put down some lines of selfishness, 1279 01:07:01,887 --> 01:07:04,411 which is your blow, 1280 01:07:04,411 --> 01:07:07,501 close the shades, take the phone off the hook, 1281 01:07:07,501 --> 01:07:10,156 grab a straw and snort! 1282 01:07:10,156 --> 01:07:12,593 Oh, and don't expect me to testify on your behalf. 1283 01:07:14,247 --> 01:07:15,814 You're not sturdy wings material. 1284 01:07:17,076 --> 01:07:18,904 [ Phone beeping ] 1285 01:07:24,605 --> 01:07:27,260 I think you guys are gonna have to go to jail. 1286 01:07:27,260 --> 01:07:31,308 The only thing we can do now is make a case at the hearing that you did your best. 1287 01:07:31,308 --> 01:07:33,527 It's gonna take some serious lawyering on my part. 1288 01:07:33,527 --> 01:07:35,877 Yeah. Beth, please. Lawyer the shit out of it. 1289 01:07:35,877 --> 01:07:37,618 [ Sighs ] I just can't promise anything. 1290 01:07:38,967 --> 01:07:40,578 Yes, wheeler? Question. 1291 01:07:40,578 --> 01:07:42,667 Maybe a stupid one, but I'm just spit-balling here. 1292 01:07:42,667 --> 01:07:45,800 Uh, the "get out of jail free" card-- 1293 01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:48,281 is that based on something that exists or-- 1294 01:07:48,281 --> 01:07:51,241 that wasn't a stupid question. 1295 01:07:51,241 --> 01:07:53,504 -That's real. - it's real in the game of monopoly. 1296 01:07:53,504 --> 01:07:55,767 Yeah, it's based on true events. 1297 01:07:55,767 --> 01:07:57,682 How-- what do you mean? 1298 01:07:57,682 --> 01:08:00,467 Chance. 1299 01:08:00,467 --> 01:08:02,121 [ Elevator bell dings ] 1300 01:08:07,431 --> 01:08:10,129 I can't believe we're goin' to jail. Believe it. 1301 01:08:10,129 --> 01:08:12,305 Hey, maybe you'll roll doubles. You know? 1302 01:08:12,305 --> 01:08:14,438 - if not, you just Miss three turns. - game face, bro. 1303 01:08:14,438 --> 01:08:17,397 - I told you. Game face. - enough with the game face, all right? 1304 01:08:17,397 --> 01:08:20,096 This isn't beach volleyball. 1305 01:08:20,096 --> 01:08:23,186 Oh, is it not? Because, if you think about it, 1306 01:08:23,186 --> 01:08:26,450 the net is like your goals in life, and you are the ball. 1307 01:08:26,450 --> 01:08:29,105 And you can spike the ball down, or you, over the net. 1308 01:08:29,105 --> 01:08:31,759 Shut up, shut up, shut up. Then you go into sidelines. 1309 01:08:31,759 --> 01:08:35,023 It's bad enough I'm goin' to jail. I can't take it anymore with you yappin' away. 1310 01:08:35,023 --> 01:08:38,026 - yap, yap, yip, yip. "Bang your drum, bro." - maybe I should be like you. 1311 01:08:38,026 --> 01:08:41,160 - "I hate myself, yet I'm better than everyone." - you're one to talk. 1312 01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:44,163 You took a 10-year-old to a party and left him so you could get a blow job. 1313 01:08:44,163 --> 01:08:46,426 - hey. - it wasn't a blow job. We fucked. 1314 01:08:46,426 --> 01:08:48,385 Please! Watch your language! 1315 01:08:48,385 --> 01:08:49,821 Sorry. Sorry. 1316 01:08:51,562 --> 01:08:53,520 You are an S-h-i-t-t-y friend. 1317 01:08:53,520 --> 01:08:54,869 He can spell. 1318 01:08:56,828 --> 01:08:59,309 I'm not your friend. 1319 01:08:59,309 --> 01:09:02,181 Oh. You wanna go? 1320 01:09:02,181 --> 01:09:03,922 [ Elevator bell dings ] 1321 01:09:03,922 --> 01:09:05,228 [ Both grunting ] [ Screaming ] Stop it! 1322 01:09:06,620 --> 01:09:08,013 Ow! 1323 01:09:11,190 --> 01:09:14,280 There you go, danny. Now you got no friends. 1324 01:09:17,849 --> 01:09:19,938 [ Whispers ] Sorry. 1325 01:09:19,938 --> 01:09:22,506 [ Rings ] 1326 01:09:22,506 --> 01:09:24,769 [ Beeps ] Hello? 1327 01:09:24,769 --> 01:09:26,945 - hey, ro-ro. It's wheeler. - [ Beeps ] 1328 01:09:29,426 --> 01:09:31,819 ♪I'm No Angel 1329 01:09:31,819 --> 01:09:34,909 ♪It's Been Said 1330 01:09:34,909 --> 01:09:38,174 ♪Falling Slowly 1331 01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:41,481 ♪Shallow Breath 1332 01:09:41,481 --> 01:09:45,529 ♪Broken And Bent 1333 01:09:47,008 --> 01:09:51,578 ♪Broken And Bent 1334 01:09:54,320 --> 01:09:56,235 ♪I Caused All The Trouble 1335 01:09:56,235 --> 01:09:59,238 ♪That's In My Head 1336 01:09:59,238 --> 01:10:01,632 ♪Unknown Shadows 1337 01:10:01,632 --> 01:10:04,852 ♪Where The River Bends 1338 01:10:04,852 --> 01:10:08,073 ♪Falling Slowly 1339 01:10:08,073 --> 01:10:11,294 ♪Missing A Friend 1340 01:10:11,294 --> 01:10:13,818 ♪Broken And Bent 1341 01:10:13,818 --> 01:10:16,777 So you guys have to be at the courthouse... 1342 01:10:16,777 --> 01:10:19,127 No later than 3:00 PM., okay? All right. 1343 01:10:19,127 --> 01:10:21,173 Please, do not be late. No. I know. 1344 01:10:21,173 --> 01:10:22,870 I know. I'll be there. 1345 01:10:34,752 --> 01:10:40,366 ♪Last I Saw You Were Such a mess ♪ 1346 01:10:40,366 --> 01:10:45,328 ♪But I'm Finished Wandering In the wilderness ♪ 1347 01:10:45,328 --> 01:10:48,200 ♪Falling Slowly 1348 01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:50,637 ♪Taking A Breath 1349 01:10:55,686 --> 01:10:57,601 [ Horn honks ] 1350 01:11:09,090 --> 01:11:10,396 [ Chattering ] 1351 01:11:13,051 --> 01:11:15,401 You don't always have to get breakfast this time of day. 1352 01:11:15,401 --> 01:11:17,969 [ Chattering ] Hiya, king. 1353 01:11:17,969 --> 01:11:20,798 No, no, no. I don't mean to cause trouble. I just wanted to... 1354 01:11:20,798 --> 01:11:22,365 Come by and apologize, 1355 01:11:22,365 --> 01:11:25,281 uh, for the way that I behaved last time. 1356 01:11:25,281 --> 01:11:30,068 I, uh-- I lost my temper when I saw you last, and that was regrettable. 1357 01:11:30,068 --> 01:11:34,028 Not to mention highly illegal, you jackanape. [ Chuckles ] 1358 01:11:34,028 --> 01:11:36,248 I-- I know. It's just that my-- denver omelet? 1359 01:11:36,248 --> 01:11:37,423 Oh. Right here. Thank you. 1360 01:11:39,599 --> 01:11:41,775 It's just my friend was upset, you see, and, uh, 1361 01:11:41,775 --> 01:11:44,169 he thought he'd stabbed you. 1362 01:11:44,169 --> 01:11:46,432 He hadn't. Of course, he hadn't. 1363 01:11:46,432 --> 01:11:48,173 Go on. It's just that... 1364 01:11:50,828 --> 01:11:53,613 I-- I accidentally cast an unbreakable madness spell on him. 1365 01:11:55,789 --> 01:11:58,749 Well, that was stupid. I know, right? 1366 01:11:58,749 --> 01:12:01,186 - I-- I didn't mean to. - you guys are reckless out there. 1367 01:12:01,186 --> 01:12:04,102 Yeah. Unsafe. Okay, I had a protection spell on me. All right? 1368 01:12:04,102 --> 01:12:07,366 But it had faded off when you touched me, so don't flatter yourself... 1369 01:12:07,366 --> 01:12:10,369 Thinking you can come back at me, okay, 'cause I would love to see you penetrate me again. 1370 01:12:10,369 --> 01:12:13,024 Anyway, I was just wondering... 1371 01:12:13,024 --> 01:12:15,722 If maybe you could see it in your heart... 1372 01:12:15,722 --> 01:12:18,682 To let him fight today on the battlefield. 1373 01:12:18,682 --> 01:12:21,989 He loves laire. More than anything. 1374 01:12:21,989 --> 01:12:24,992 He's just a kid, but he's got the heart of a lion. 1375 01:12:24,992 --> 01:12:28,169 Hmm. 1376 01:12:28,169 --> 01:12:30,607 And the eye of the tiger. Hmm. 1377 01:12:30,607 --> 01:12:33,610 More coffee? Uh, no, I'm decaf. 1378 01:12:33,610 --> 01:12:35,873 - okay. -[ argotron ] If he be so brave, 1379 01:12:35,873 --> 01:12:39,180 why doth he not show his face here today? 1380 01:12:39,180 --> 01:12:41,792 Do you fight all his battles? Hmm. 1381 01:12:44,055 --> 01:12:46,231 He knows not I'm here. 1382 01:12:46,231 --> 01:12:48,146 Hmm. He, uh, 1383 01:12:48,146 --> 01:12:51,323 hath too much pride. 1384 01:12:51,323 --> 01:12:53,194 Hmm. 1385 01:12:55,545 --> 01:12:58,591 [ Whispering ] Magic healing potion. Wizards. 1386 01:12:59,853 --> 01:13:02,290 How's it goin'? 1387 01:13:04,467 --> 01:13:06,860 Tell your kinsman... 1388 01:13:09,210 --> 01:13:11,169 We shall see him on the battlefield today. 1389 01:13:11,169 --> 01:13:13,824 Thank you. Thank you, noble king. 1390 01:13:17,175 --> 01:13:19,264 - really? - mm-hmm. 1391 01:13:19,264 --> 01:13:21,222 You know you want it. 1392 01:13:26,227 --> 01:13:27,620 Now exit my burger hole, boy. 1393 01:13:29,927 --> 01:13:32,843 Make a note to the xanthians that if they let augie fight with them, 1394 01:13:32,843 --> 01:13:35,454 we'll destroy each and every one of them, 1395 01:13:35,454 --> 01:13:39,240 without mercy, before the first apple cider break. Mmm. 1396 01:13:39,240 --> 01:13:41,112 Mmm. Mm-hmm. 1397 01:13:46,770 --> 01:13:48,946 [ Clears throat ] 1398 01:13:48,946 --> 01:13:51,470 Hey, what's up, my P.IC.? 1399 01:13:57,955 --> 01:14:00,610 Ronnie. Ronnie. 1400 01:14:02,176 --> 01:14:04,135 Hey. 1401 01:14:04,135 --> 01:14:07,225 Okay. You need to listen to me and listen good. 1402 01:14:07,225 --> 01:14:10,097 I am a very animalistic woman. 1403 01:14:10,097 --> 01:14:12,796 A very animalistic woman. 1404 01:14:12,796 --> 01:14:16,364 And when it comes to my son, I am a lioness. 1405 01:14:16,364 --> 01:14:18,802 A black sheba. 1406 01:14:18,802 --> 01:14:21,152 Black sheba. Yeah, but listen-- I am a lioness, 1407 01:14:21,152 --> 01:14:24,242 and that boy is my cub. 1408 01:14:24,242 --> 01:14:28,464 And if you let anything bad happen to my cub, 1409 01:14:28,464 --> 01:14:32,468 I will claw your ass up until you shit sideways. 1410 01:14:32,468 --> 01:14:35,122 Do you understand? Yes. 1411 01:14:35,122 --> 01:14:37,951 You'll tear me up so bad, that when I shit, it'll come out sideways. I understand. 1412 01:14:37,951 --> 01:14:39,779 Okay. 1413 01:14:41,520 --> 01:14:43,566 It's just, ronnie looks up to you. Okay? 1414 01:14:43,566 --> 01:14:46,220 He doesn't need another man leaving him behind. 1415 01:14:46,220 --> 01:14:48,571 I know. I know. I fucked up, okay? 1416 01:14:48,571 --> 01:14:52,923 I-- the kid acts so tough, I-- I didn't know I could hurt him, you know? 1417 01:14:52,923 --> 01:14:54,707 I'm determined to make it up to him. All right? 1418 01:14:54,707 --> 01:14:58,450 What I'm tryin' to say is that when I get out of prison, 1419 01:14:58,450 --> 01:15:00,539 can I hang out with your 10-year-old son? 1420 01:15:00,539 --> 01:15:03,586 Well, you're gonna have to ask him yourself. 1421 01:15:03,586 --> 01:15:05,544 [ Door opens ] 1422 01:15:05,544 --> 01:15:08,547 Hey. Ronnie. 1423 01:15:08,547 --> 01:15:13,291 Um, look. I'm sorry, okay? 1424 01:15:13,291 --> 01:15:16,381 I know I don't deserve it, but, 1425 01:15:16,381 --> 01:15:18,601 sturdy wings or no sturdy wings, I want to be your big. 1426 01:15:23,170 --> 01:15:26,870 Okay. I'm your little, and you're my big. I like that. 1427 01:15:30,569 --> 01:15:34,921 Can I tell you how deeply, deeply I regret this situation with this latest big? 1428 01:15:34,921 --> 01:15:37,184 It's completely unacceptable. And at sturdy wings, 1429 01:15:37,184 --> 01:15:40,144 it's not how we roll. 1430 01:15:40,144 --> 01:15:44,540 So I'm going to guarantee you that Mr. Gary... 1431 01:15:44,540 --> 01:15:47,455 Is our most experienced and dependable volunteer. 1432 01:15:47,455 --> 01:15:50,110 [ Gary ] Let me put it this way. 1433 01:15:50,110 --> 01:15:52,548 If I had a nickel for every year that I've been with sturdy wings, 1434 01:15:52,548 --> 01:15:54,854 I would have enough money to... 1435 01:15:54,854 --> 01:15:57,074 Play a game of pac-man. 1436 01:15:57,074 --> 01:15:59,206 [ Chuckles ] Been five years. 1437 01:15:59,206 --> 01:16:02,122 And if I stay with sturdy wings for another five years, 1438 01:16:02,122 --> 01:16:04,560 then I'll have enough for another round-- 1439 01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:08,259 [ Sweeny ] another round of pac-man. Five cents for every year, times five-- 1440 01:16:08,259 --> 01:16:10,914 that's 25. We-- we get it. 1441 01:16:10,914 --> 01:16:13,177 - that's a quarter. -[ lynette ] but the pac-man here-- I think it's 50 cents. 1442 01:16:17,529 --> 01:16:19,618 What are you doing here? I'm breaking you out. 1443 01:16:19,618 --> 01:16:22,273 There's a nation at war. Are you in? 1444 01:16:22,273 --> 01:16:26,103 Aye. Aye-- I am too. Come on. 1445 01:16:26,103 --> 01:16:29,410 [ Beth ] wheeler hasn't called me back. Are you guys gonna make it or what? 1446 01:16:29,410 --> 01:16:31,891 I don't know, beth. I can't speak for wheeler, but I'll be there. 1447 01:16:31,891 --> 01:16:34,415 You gotta promise me. Yeah, I promise. I just-- 1448 01:16:34,415 --> 01:16:37,027 I'm helping augie with something, then I'm on my way. County courthouse, 3:00. 1449 01:16:37,027 --> 01:16:40,160 All right. [ Beeps ] 1450 01:16:40,160 --> 01:16:44,469 Man, I'm gonna kick some cassadonian ass. [ Laughs ] yeah, totally. 1451 01:16:44,469 --> 01:16:46,689 ♪ [ Cell Phone RINGS: "Greensleeves" ] Oh. It's artonius. 1452 01:16:46,689 --> 01:16:48,778 Oh. Bid him good morrow. [ Beeps ] 1453 01:16:48,778 --> 01:16:52,303 Greetings, artonius. Get ready for some pain. 1454 01:16:52,303 --> 01:16:55,175 What? What? Wait. No, no, no. No, you can't do that. 1455 01:16:55,175 --> 01:16:57,003 [ Artonius ] You're out of xanthia. What are you talkin' about? 1456 01:16:57,003 --> 01:16:59,745 Sorry, blufgan. Forget it, danny. 1457 01:16:59,745 --> 01:17:02,661 They said I'm too much of a liability. 1458 01:17:02,661 --> 01:17:04,881 They're kicking me out of xanthia. 1459 01:17:04,881 --> 01:17:06,491 What? Are you serious? 1460 01:17:08,362 --> 01:17:11,322 Screw 'em. We'll start our own country. We can't. 1461 01:17:11,322 --> 01:17:14,760 All my costumes have the same colors and same symbols as xanthia. 1462 01:17:14,760 --> 01:17:17,502 And besides, you can't start a country with two people. No? 1463 01:17:17,502 --> 01:17:20,548 What's the minimum? 1464 01:17:20,548 --> 01:17:22,942 [ Cell phone rings ] [ Ronnie speaks, indistinct ] 1465 01:17:22,942 --> 01:17:25,510 [ Karen ] ...Right there. Where you goin'? 1466 01:17:25,510 --> 01:17:27,468 You can't go anywhere. Come on. 1467 01:17:27,468 --> 01:17:29,557 What do you want, asshole? 1468 01:17:29,557 --> 01:17:31,298 Actually, we need your help. 1469 01:17:47,010 --> 01:17:48,838 [ Beeping ] 1470 01:18:01,067 --> 01:18:02,503 [ Roaring ] 1471 01:18:12,818 --> 01:18:15,342 I can't believe my eyes. 1472 01:18:15,342 --> 01:18:17,562 A minotaur! 1473 01:18:17,562 --> 01:18:21,609 ♪ [ Rock ] 1474 01:18:23,699 --> 01:18:25,657 ♪I Feel Uptight On a saturday night ♪ 1475 01:18:29,139 --> 01:18:33,709 ♪Nine O'clock The radio's the only light I got to ♪ 1476 01:18:33,709 --> 01:18:36,233 -♪Get up -♪Everybody's gonna move their feet ♪ 1477 01:18:36,233 --> 01:18:39,845 ♪Get Down ♪Everybody's Gonna Leave their seat ♪ 1478 01:18:39,845 --> 01:18:42,761 Augie? ♪You Gotta Lose Your Mind In detroit ♪ 1479 01:18:42,761 --> 01:18:45,459 Where are you? ♪Rock City Get up ♪ 1480 01:18:45,459 --> 01:18:48,201 ♪Everybody's Gonna Move their feet ♪ ♪Get Down 1481 01:18:48,201 --> 01:18:50,334 [ Boy ] Hear he, hear he. 1482 01:18:50,334 --> 01:18:54,425 This is a battle to the last man standing. 1483 01:18:54,425 --> 01:18:57,907 And the victor shall rule the realm. 1484 01:18:57,907 --> 01:19:01,388 There'll be no magical rejuvenation powder today. 1485 01:19:01,388 --> 01:19:03,826 Instead, if you are killed, you are done! 1486 01:19:03,826 --> 01:19:05,479 [ Crowd gasps ] 1487 01:19:05,479 --> 01:19:08,613 Fight well, and may the best country win! 1488 01:19:08,613 --> 01:19:10,180 [ Cheering ] 1489 01:19:11,703 --> 01:19:13,270 Stay close, like cotton on a lamb. 1490 01:19:16,229 --> 01:19:20,320 Brothers and sisters of the new nation of "kiss-my-anthia," 1491 01:19:20,320 --> 01:19:24,237 I stand here before you not as the augie farks you once knew. 1492 01:19:24,237 --> 01:19:27,414 Today I stand before you a warrior! 1493 01:19:27,414 --> 01:19:30,374 For time eternal, 1494 01:19:30,374 --> 01:19:32,811 I have let the naysayers of this world bring me down. 1495 01:19:32,811 --> 01:19:35,814 They used to say, "you shouldn't fight. 1496 01:19:35,814 --> 01:19:38,382 "You should be embarrassed of yourself. 1497 01:19:38,382 --> 01:19:40,776 You look like a young marvin hamlisch." 1498 01:19:40,776 --> 01:19:42,908 Well, you know what I say to those naysayers? 1499 01:19:42,908 --> 01:19:45,911 I say nay! I will fight! 1500 01:19:45,911 --> 01:19:48,131 I will not be embarrassed! 1501 01:19:48,131 --> 01:19:50,655 Who the fuck is marvin hamlisch? 1502 01:19:50,655 --> 01:19:52,570 - he wrote the music tothe sting. - that's a good movie. 1503 01:19:52,570 --> 01:19:55,138 But I don't care. 1504 01:19:55,138 --> 01:19:57,488 'Cause in this moment, doing what I love, 1505 01:19:57,488 --> 01:19:59,838 I know I have already won. 1506 01:19:59,838 --> 01:20:03,059 An honorable, albeit court-appointed, friend once said to me, 1507 01:20:03,059 --> 01:20:05,931 "do what makes you happy." 1508 01:20:05,931 --> 01:20:08,847 And nothing would make me happier than to fight alongside you brave men. 1509 01:20:10,849 --> 01:20:13,112 When the elders speak of this day, 1510 01:20:13,112 --> 01:20:14,722 they will speak of the courage of kiss-my-anthia. 1511 01:20:14,722 --> 01:20:16,812 Of the spaceman. 1512 01:20:18,335 --> 01:20:20,119 The demon. 1513 01:20:20,119 --> 01:20:22,730 The starchild. 1514 01:20:23,949 --> 01:20:26,430 And me, the cat! 1515 01:20:26,430 --> 01:20:28,867 So let us raise our swords in victory, 1516 01:20:28,867 --> 01:20:31,130 crank this shit up to 11, 1517 01:20:31,130 --> 01:20:33,350 and let's rip this realm a new asshole! 1518 01:20:33,350 --> 01:20:34,873 Yeah! Yeah! 1519 01:20:34,873 --> 01:20:37,528 Yeah! What the fuck are we talkin' about? 1520 01:20:37,528 --> 01:20:41,314 May xanthia and kiss-my-anthia be allies. 1521 01:20:41,314 --> 01:20:46,102 King argotron be damned. We fight with you. 1522 01:20:46,102 --> 01:20:48,321 Thank you, friends. Your honor is great. 1523 01:20:48,321 --> 01:20:52,891 Come. Let us gingerly touch our tips. 1524 01:20:52,891 --> 01:20:55,633 Game on! 1525 01:20:55,633 --> 01:20:57,809 ♪ [ Blows ] 1526 01:20:57,809 --> 01:21:01,117 [ All shouting ] 1527 01:21:07,340 --> 01:21:09,647 [ Groans ] 1528 01:21:09,647 --> 01:21:12,302 [ Grunts ] Yeah! 1529 01:21:17,829 --> 01:21:21,833 [ Shouting continues ] 1530 01:21:21,833 --> 01:21:24,923 Once we pass this point, there's no turning back. 1531 01:21:24,923 --> 01:21:28,100 It's a fight to the death! About time! Let's rip this shit up! 1532 01:21:28,100 --> 01:21:29,885 Yeah! Yeah! 1533 01:21:32,104 --> 01:21:34,672 Yeah. Oh, snap! No! 1534 01:21:34,672 --> 01:21:36,892 - come on. No! - oh. 1535 01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:38,458 [ Groans ] Augie, what the hell? 1536 01:21:38,458 --> 01:21:39,807 Your boys just killed me! 1537 01:21:39,807 --> 01:21:42,985 Go! Like the leopard! 1538 01:21:42,985 --> 01:21:44,116 Like the leopard! [ Augie shouts ] 1539 01:21:46,031 --> 01:21:47,119 Oh, saint venise! 1540 01:21:47,119 --> 01:21:47,946 [ Shouts ] 1541 01:21:49,774 --> 01:21:52,951 Et tu,you two? 1542 01:21:52,951 --> 01:21:56,302 - [ Whimpers ] - what the hell's goin' on? 1543 01:21:56,302 --> 01:21:58,087 They killed you, so you have to die an honorable and noble death. 1544 01:21:58,087 --> 01:22:00,045 Okay. I think I can do that. 1545 01:22:00,045 --> 01:22:02,221 [ Groaning ] 1546 01:22:09,620 --> 01:22:11,709 - not bad. - blufgan. 1547 01:22:11,709 --> 01:22:14,451 - kuzzik. - fulfill your destiny, blufgan. 1548 01:22:14,451 --> 01:22:15,974 Yes. Kill the king. 1549 01:22:15,974 --> 01:22:18,107 I will. Kill the king. 1550 01:22:18,107 --> 01:22:20,196 I will, kuzzik! Go. Go. 1551 01:22:20,196 --> 01:22:22,938 Go. Go. 1552 01:22:22,938 --> 01:22:24,678 [ All shouting ] 1553 01:22:28,421 --> 01:22:30,815 Take that, you lily-livered coward! [ Cell phone buzzing ] 1554 01:22:30,815 --> 01:22:33,513 [ Beeps ] Hey. 1555 01:22:33,513 --> 01:22:36,603 Hey. Where the hell are you guys? I cannot stall any longer. 1556 01:22:36,603 --> 01:22:38,997 I'm at jefferson park. Look. I can't talk right now. 1557 01:22:38,997 --> 01:22:41,869 I'm in the middle of battling a cassadonian. [ Grunts ] 1558 01:22:41,869 --> 01:22:44,872 Beth, I gotta help augie. I gotta go. Fuckin' cassadonian ass. 1559 01:22:44,872 --> 01:22:48,441 What? Hello. What? 1560 01:22:48,441 --> 01:22:50,878 [ All shouting ] 1561 01:22:53,011 --> 01:22:55,100 Ow! Bitch! 1562 01:22:55,100 --> 01:22:57,711 Retreat to the castle! 1563 01:22:57,711 --> 01:22:59,800 [ All shouting ] 1564 01:23:01,063 --> 01:23:03,979 Long live xanthia! 1565 01:23:15,120 --> 01:23:17,905 [ Laughs ] You lost an arm, honey! 1566 01:23:17,905 --> 01:23:19,472 - [ Shouts ] - [ Groans ] 1567 01:23:20,691 --> 01:23:22,084 Nice one, dude. 1568 01:23:23,128 --> 01:23:24,347 Hey, esplen. 1569 01:23:24,347 --> 01:23:25,826 Thanks. 1570 01:23:29,613 --> 01:23:32,268 Okay. See ya. 1571 01:23:32,268 --> 01:23:35,793 See ya.[ Shouting ] 1572 01:23:35,793 --> 01:23:39,275 Die, coward! Cassadonia is to rule forever! 1573 01:23:41,233 --> 01:23:43,844 What a scene. [ Chuckles ] 1574 01:23:55,813 --> 01:23:58,903 Okay. We lost a man, but we can still do this. 1575 01:23:58,903 --> 01:24:02,298 It's not the manpower. It's the power of the man. 1576 01:24:02,298 --> 01:24:04,039 Shit, this kid really jacks you up. 1577 01:24:04,039 --> 01:24:06,432 I want you to go left through these trees. 1578 01:24:06,432 --> 01:24:09,348 His lackeys are pretty strong, but davith of glencracken is the one you want. 1579 01:24:09,348 --> 01:24:10,654 He's the one built like a brick shithouse. 1580 01:24:12,569 --> 01:24:14,179 Leave it to us, augie. 1581 01:24:14,179 --> 01:24:15,963 Ah, good luck,mi amigos! 1582 01:24:18,488 --> 01:24:20,577 Thanks for doin' this. I'm doin' it for the kids, not for you. 1583 01:24:28,976 --> 01:24:30,543 [ Grunting ] [ Groans ] 1584 01:24:33,720 --> 01:24:35,592 Come on. 1585 01:24:42,468 --> 01:24:44,470 Feel the steel of my hammer! 1586 01:24:45,645 --> 01:24:47,952 [ Shouts ] 1587 01:24:52,522 --> 01:24:55,220 Hey, hey! Okay! Okay! I'm dead! I'm dead! 1588 01:24:55,220 --> 01:24:57,570 Sorry. Sorry. It's fun though, right? 1589 01:24:57,570 --> 01:24:58,832 It's a blast. It's contagious. 1590 01:24:58,832 --> 01:25:01,357 Totally. Come back next year. 1591 01:25:01,357 --> 01:25:03,359 I will. Thanks. Okay. We need people. Give me your e-mail. 1592 01:25:03,359 --> 01:25:05,100 [ Groans ] 1593 01:25:10,453 --> 01:25:12,977 [ Groaning ]Dude, you saved my life. 1594 01:25:14,544 --> 01:25:17,329 I did what any good coworker would do. 1595 01:25:17,329 --> 01:25:20,854 I... Honestly can't say I would do the same for you. 1596 01:25:20,854 --> 01:25:23,770 Oh, you would, danny. Because you're my friend. 1597 01:25:23,770 --> 01:25:25,903 I want to hear you say it. 1598 01:25:25,903 --> 01:25:27,861 Come on. 1599 01:25:27,861 --> 01:25:30,386 Say it. 1600 01:25:30,386 --> 01:25:32,953 I'm your friend. 1601 01:25:32,953 --> 01:25:35,304 - [ Sighs ] Will you hold me? - no. 1602 01:25:35,304 --> 01:25:37,480 - kiss on the cheek? - no. 1603 01:25:37,480 --> 01:25:39,830 Hug me. I don't want to do any of that. 1604 01:25:39,830 --> 01:25:42,963 [ Groans ] Oh, no. Oh, no. 1605 01:25:42,963 --> 01:25:46,053 Aren't you dead yet? Very close, starchild. 1606 01:25:46,053 --> 01:25:47,794 The end is near. 1607 01:25:50,232 --> 01:25:52,886 [ Groans ] 1608 01:25:52,886 --> 01:25:54,540 Sleep, friend. 1609 01:25:57,239 --> 01:25:59,154 They can't hurt you now. 1610 01:26:01,634 --> 01:26:03,941 [ Groans ] 1611 01:26:03,941 --> 01:26:05,856 Right in the ball sack. 1612 01:26:05,856 --> 01:26:08,685 Fuck. 1613 01:26:08,685 --> 01:26:10,687 All right. I'm gonna get a beer. 1614 01:26:10,687 --> 01:26:12,776 [ Man ] Hold your ground! 1615 01:26:12,776 --> 01:26:15,474 Enclose, stab. As you command. 1616 01:26:15,474 --> 01:26:17,259 Yes, my lord. Get goin'. 1617 01:26:17,259 --> 01:26:19,565 Davith is gone. 1618 01:26:19,565 --> 01:26:22,133 Nice work. Where's spaceman? 1619 01:26:28,270 --> 01:26:30,402 I don't think there's many warriors left, you know. 1620 01:26:30,402 --> 01:26:33,710 If I could just get him one-on-one, I swear I could take him. I could take him down. 1621 01:26:33,710 --> 01:26:36,713 Hold up, dude. Methinks I have a plan. 1622 01:26:38,671 --> 01:26:42,675 Hey, king! King! 1623 01:26:42,675 --> 01:26:45,025 It's that guy from the burger hole. 1624 01:26:45,025 --> 01:26:48,551 -Aw, he seems to be wounded. - shall I take him out, sire? 1625 01:26:48,551 --> 01:26:50,988 Nay. This one is mine. 1626 01:26:50,988 --> 01:26:53,033 [ Creaking sound ] 1627 01:26:59,126 --> 01:27:01,259 [ Creaking sound ] 1628 01:27:01,259 --> 01:27:04,871 Well! Well, well. 1629 01:27:07,613 --> 01:27:09,920 [ Laughs ] 1630 01:27:09,920 --> 01:27:11,443 Looks like thou art fell for the oldest trick in the scroll. 1631 01:27:12,662 --> 01:27:14,881 [ Shouts ] 1632 01:27:17,841 --> 01:27:20,278 - [ Shouts ] - [ Groans ] 1633 01:27:22,672 --> 01:27:24,804 [ Shouts ] 1634 01:27:24,804 --> 01:27:30,114 Now, you will kneel before the king. 1635 01:27:30,114 --> 01:27:32,464 Oh, drag. I really wanted to win that pointy little hat. 1636 01:27:32,464 --> 01:27:36,468 It's... A... Crown! 1637 01:27:36,468 --> 01:27:38,427 - [ Shouts ] - [ Screams ] 1638 01:27:38,427 --> 01:27:41,952 [ Shouting ] [ Screaming ] 1639 01:27:43,997 --> 01:27:45,434 Cassadonia! 1640 01:27:47,653 --> 01:27:49,568 You! 1641 01:27:50,656 --> 01:27:52,615 Shit. 1642 01:27:58,534 --> 01:28:01,624 Argotron. Face me, if ye be brave enough. 1643 01:28:01,624 --> 01:28:03,669 Didn't I teach you a lesson the last time? 1644 01:28:03,669 --> 01:28:06,193 I think you're afraid I'm gonna kill you... Again. 1645 01:28:08,500 --> 01:28:10,981 Go get 'em, augie! 1646 01:28:10,981 --> 01:28:13,462 - you shut up, whore! - my mom is not a whore! 1647 01:28:13,462 --> 01:28:15,246 Yes, she is! [ Shouts ] 1648 01:28:15,246 --> 01:28:17,161 [ Both grunting ] 1649 01:28:18,728 --> 01:28:19,685 [ Shouts ] 1650 01:28:21,992 --> 01:28:24,211 He could actually win. Oh, it's anyone's game. 1651 01:28:24,211 --> 01:28:26,431 [ Man ] go, blufgan! Yo, augie! Fuck his shit up, man! 1652 01:28:26,431 --> 01:28:28,259 [ Both grunting ] 1653 01:28:31,523 --> 01:28:32,959 [ Gasps ] Ooh! 1654 01:28:45,450 --> 01:28:48,148 Ah, screw it! 1655 01:28:48,148 --> 01:28:49,628 Ooh. Bad decision. No, it's a good decision. 1656 01:28:49,628 --> 01:28:51,587 Uh-uh. 1657 01:28:53,371 --> 01:28:55,765 - [ Laughing ] - [ Grunts ] 1658 01:28:55,765 --> 01:28:56,983 Oh, shit! 1659 01:29:01,771 --> 01:29:04,164 [ Screams ] 1660 01:29:04,164 --> 01:29:06,079 - [ Gasps ] - [ Snarling ] 1661 01:29:06,079 --> 01:29:08,038 It's okay. I don't need it. [ Grunting ] 1662 01:29:08,038 --> 01:29:09,866 [ Straining ] 1663 01:29:17,700 --> 01:29:19,397 Hey! 1664 01:29:19,397 --> 01:29:21,965 Please. No. 1665 01:29:21,965 --> 01:29:23,096 [ Grunts ] 1666 01:29:23,096 --> 01:29:24,837 Oh! 1667 01:29:30,800 --> 01:29:31,801 Oh! 1668 01:29:41,114 --> 01:29:44,770 Oh! [ Groaning ] 1669 01:29:47,991 --> 01:29:49,427 [ Cheering ] Yeah! 1670 01:29:49,427 --> 01:29:50,733 That's what I'm talkin' about! 1671 01:29:50,733 --> 01:29:52,822 Yes! 1672 01:29:52,822 --> 01:29:55,825 [ Kuzzik ] Oh, the gods have played a coup. 1673 01:29:55,825 --> 01:29:58,741 Blufgan is the last man standing of them all! 1674 01:30:00,133 --> 01:30:04,660 All hail king blufgan! 1675 01:30:04,660 --> 01:30:06,313 Hail blufgan! 1676 01:30:09,752 --> 01:30:11,623 - yeah! - yeah! 1677 01:30:24,419 --> 01:30:26,769 [ Kuzzik ] Wha-- esplen is still alive? 1678 01:30:28,640 --> 01:30:31,077 - [ Gasps ] - esplen! 1679 01:30:31,077 --> 01:30:33,471 I was hiding in the bushes the whole time. That's a pretty smart strategy. 1680 01:30:33,471 --> 01:30:36,039 Thanks. Sorry I killed you. 1681 01:30:36,039 --> 01:30:39,216 It's okay. 1682 01:30:39,216 --> 01:30:43,089 All hail queen esplen of navalore! 1683 01:30:43,089 --> 01:30:45,309 Hail esplen! 1684 01:30:47,093 --> 01:30:49,487 ♪ [ Blows ] 1685 01:30:50,749 --> 01:30:54,797 Game end! 1686 01:30:54,797 --> 01:30:57,452 [ Cheering ] 1687 01:30:57,452 --> 01:31:01,020 [ Kuzzik ] oh, one slice to the king's chest, and down like a sack of elderberries! 1688 01:31:01,020 --> 01:31:03,022 [ Continues, indistinct ] 1689 01:31:03,022 --> 01:31:06,069 You did good, augie. 1690 01:31:06,069 --> 01:31:09,507 I mean, a girl did beat you, but it's definitely not as gay as I thought it would be. 1691 01:31:09,507 --> 01:31:13,468 Oh, you were incredible. Second place! 1692 01:31:13,468 --> 01:31:16,645 That's like a silver medal. Kind of makes you hungry for the gold, huh? 1693 01:31:16,645 --> 01:31:21,388 [ Chuckles ] No, but we-- serious-- we are very, very proud of you. 1694 01:31:21,388 --> 01:31:23,347 Thanks for tryin' to be nice, mom. Jim. 1695 01:31:36,099 --> 01:31:38,405 Hail, esplen! 1696 01:31:40,016 --> 01:31:42,627 C-congratulations. I can't believe I won. 1697 01:31:42,627 --> 01:31:45,412 When I killed you, I was, like, "no way." 1698 01:31:45,412 --> 01:31:47,893 Yeah, well, the-the crown looks very good on you. Very regal. 1699 01:31:47,893 --> 01:31:50,374 Thanks. I liked your whiskers. 1700 01:31:50,374 --> 01:31:52,463 Oh, thanks. Was that eyeliner? 1701 01:31:52,463 --> 01:31:55,292 Yeah, I just drew 'em on. It looked good. 1702 01:31:55,292 --> 01:31:57,729 Oh, thanks. I have two cats, so-- 1703 01:31:57,729 --> 01:32:00,689 oh. Okay. Cool. 1704 01:32:00,689 --> 01:32:03,474 So, augie, 1705 01:32:03,474 --> 01:32:06,303 now that I'm queen, I was wondering if maybe, um, 1706 01:32:07,870 --> 01:32:10,307 you'd wanna be my king? 1707 01:32:10,307 --> 01:32:11,961 Yeah. I-- I'd love-- I'd love that. 1708 01:32:13,919 --> 01:32:15,834 Should-- should I kiss you now? 1709 01:32:24,103 --> 01:32:26,323 Fuck yeah. 1710 01:32:28,325 --> 01:32:29,369 [ Chattering ] 1711 01:32:31,633 --> 01:32:36,072 Do you know the song "beth"? By kiss? 1712 01:32:36,072 --> 01:32:39,466 You did a really good thing tonight, wheeler. 1713 01:32:39,466 --> 01:32:42,295 Yeah. They'll probably double our sentence for not showing up to the hearing this afternoon. 1714 01:32:42,295 --> 01:32:45,037 Well, listen. I got a long-standing relationship with this judge, 1715 01:32:45,037 --> 01:32:47,953 and I don't want to get too graphic, but I used to suck his dick for drugs. 1716 01:32:47,953 --> 01:32:50,303 Oh. He got me my junk. 1717 01:32:50,303 --> 01:32:53,045 Long story short, you guys are not goin' to jail. 1718 01:32:53,045 --> 01:32:56,179 Are you BS.'in' me? 'Cause I know you're the best BS.'er. 1719 01:32:56,179 --> 01:32:57,876 Nah, I'm bein' straight with you, man. 1720 01:32:57,876 --> 01:32:59,617 Shit. Thank you. Whoa. Okay. 1721 01:32:59,617 --> 01:33:01,358 Thank you so much. All right. 1722 01:33:01,358 --> 01:33:04,491 [ Kuzzik ] Quiet down! Quiet down! Gather round, ye nobles! 1723 01:33:20,551 --> 01:33:23,815 ♪Beth, I Hear You Callin' 1724 01:33:23,815 --> 01:33:28,472 ♪But I Can't Come Home Right now ♪ 1725 01:33:28,472 --> 01:33:31,040 ♪'Cause Me And The Boys Are slayin' ♪ 1726 01:33:31,040 --> 01:33:36,045 ♪And We Just Can't Find the sound ♪ 1727 01:33:36,045 --> 01:33:40,702 ♪None Of These Lyrics 1728 01:33:40,702 --> 01:33:42,965 ♪Uh, Have Anything To Do With what I want to say ♪ 1729 01:33:44,314 --> 01:33:47,665 ♪But It's Got A Pretty Melody 1730 01:33:47,665 --> 01:33:50,494 ♪And I Get To Sing Your Name 1731 01:33:50,494 --> 01:33:53,453 ♪That Seems Pretty Cool 1732 01:33:56,631 --> 01:33:59,895 ♪Beth, You Are So Awesome 1733 01:33:59,895 --> 01:34:04,551 ♪And I Miss You So Much 1734 01:34:04,551 --> 01:34:08,468 ♪Your Beautiful Smile And your positive attitude and your whispering eye ♪ 1735 01:34:08,468 --> 01:34:10,383 [ Snickers ] 1736 01:34:11,776 --> 01:34:14,649 ♪We Don't Have To Get Married 1737 01:34:14,649 --> 01:34:17,129 ♪But I'm Still In Love With you ♪ 1738 01:34:18,609 --> 01:34:22,874 ♪We Can Just Be Together 1739 01:34:22,874 --> 01:34:25,616 ♪Like Tim Robbins And susan sarandon ♪ 1740 01:34:25,616 --> 01:34:27,444 Good actors. 1741 01:34:27,444 --> 01:34:28,488 ♪Tim And Sue 1742 01:34:30,882 --> 01:34:34,103 ♪Beth, I Am So Lonely Without you ♪ 1743 01:34:34,103 --> 01:34:37,367 ♪And I Hope We'll be all right ♪ 1744 01:34:38,934 --> 01:34:41,763 ♪You And Me Should make up ♪ 1745 01:34:43,286 --> 01:34:47,551 ♪Tonight 1746 01:34:49,771 --> 01:34:51,729 [ Kuzzik ] And the kiss! [ Laughs ] 1747 01:34:51,729 --> 01:34:53,905 Nice. 1748 01:34:53,905 --> 01:34:55,733 [ Chattering ] 1749 01:34:58,127 --> 01:35:00,695 ♪ [ Rock ] 1750 01:35:03,567 --> 01:35:07,092 ♪Love Gun 1751 01:35:07,092 --> 01:35:10,400 ♪Love Gun 1752 01:35:10,400 --> 01:35:13,403 ♪Love Gun 1753 01:35:13,403 --> 01:35:17,015 ♪Love Gun 1754 01:35:17,015 --> 01:35:20,192 ♪Love Gun 1755 01:35:20,192 --> 01:35:23,587 ♪Love Gun 1756 01:35:23,587 --> 01:35:26,546 ♪Love Gun 1757 01:35:26,546 --> 01:35:30,246 ♪Love Gun 1758 01:35:30,246 --> 01:35:33,118 ♪Love Gun 1759 01:35:33,118 --> 01:35:36,643 ♪Love Gun 1760 01:35:38,254 --> 01:35:39,864 Hey, what does this look like to you? 1761 01:35:41,997 --> 01:35:43,868 Hmm. 1762 01:35:46,479 --> 01:35:49,918 Hey. How you doin'? 1763 01:35:49,918 --> 01:35:51,702 [ Chuckles ] Yeah. 1764 01:35:51,702 --> 01:35:54,357 Yeah. 1765 01:35:54,357 --> 01:35:56,272 Oh! [ Chuckling ] 1766 01:35:58,143 --> 01:36:00,058 Yes, sir. Yeah. Oh. 1767 01:36:00,058 --> 01:36:02,147 Oh. Put it back in. 1768 01:36:02,147 --> 01:36:03,975 Ouch. Ouch. Oh, yeah, yeah. 1769 01:36:03,975 --> 01:36:06,412 There you go. 1770 01:36:06,412 --> 01:36:08,110 [ Pops tongue ] Ow. 1771 01:36:11,243 --> 01:36:15,508 ♪Where A Pair Of Lonely Ones 1772 01:36:15,508 --> 01:36:17,597 ♪Can Always Meet 1773 01:36:19,425 --> 01:36:22,080 ♪Love Take Me Down 1774 01:36:22,080 --> 01:36:24,604 ♪Love Take Me Down 1775 01:36:24,604 --> 01:36:27,738 ♪Where I'm Longing To Be 1776 01:36:29,696 --> 01:36:33,396 ♪Love Take Me Down To the streets ♪ 1777 01:36:35,224 --> 01:36:38,618 ♪Love Take Me Down To the streets ♪ 1778 01:36:40,359 --> 01:36:43,058 ♪'Cause When You Don't Get fed at home ♪ 1779 01:36:43,058 --> 01:36:47,845 ♪Still Gotta Give The dog his bone ♪ 1780 01:36:47,845 --> 01:36:52,197 ♪Take That Lovin' To the streets ♪ 1781 01:36:52,197 --> 01:36:54,112 ♪Come On 1782 01:36:56,158 --> 01:36:59,248 ♪Here We Stand 1783 01:36:59,248 --> 01:37:02,555 ♪Open And Honest Of our needs ♪ 1784 01:37:04,514 --> 01:37:07,430 ♪Love Take Me Down 1785 01:37:07,430 --> 01:37:10,128 ♪Love Take Me Down 1786 01:37:10,128 --> 01:37:13,044 ♪I Need You 1787 01:37:13,044 --> 01:37:18,658 ♪But You Need Something Special first from me ♪ 1788 01:37:18,658 --> 01:37:20,878 ♪Love Take Me Down 1789 01:37:20,878 --> 01:37:24,664 ♪Where I've So Often Been 1790 01:37:24,664 --> 01:37:28,059 ♪Love Take Me Down To the streets ♪ 1791 01:37:28,059 --> 01:37:30,670 ♪Come On 1792 01:37:30,670 --> 01:37:35,414 ♪Love Take Me Down To the streets ooh ♪ 1793 01:37:35,414 --> 01:37:38,374 ♪'Cause When The Love Don't work at home ♪ 1794 01:37:38,374 --> 01:37:43,031 ♪You Gotta Find It On your own ♪ 1795 01:37:43,031 --> 01:37:48,514 ♪Take That Lovin' To the streets ooh ♪ 1796 01:37:48,514 --> 01:37:51,256 ♪Took Our Noses And our pictures to the shadows in the alleys ♪ 1797 01:37:51,256 --> 01:37:54,216 ♪To The Places Where The boogaloo sleeps ♪ 1798 01:37:54,216 --> 01:37:57,915 ♪We Do Things Quite Uniquely Things that we can never speak of ♪ 1799 01:37:57,915 --> 01:38:00,657 ♪'Cause We Got Our Vows 1800 01:38:00,657 --> 01:38:05,183 ♪And Our Secret To keep ♪ 1801 01:38:05,183 --> 01:38:07,316 ♪Yeah 1802 01:38:07,316 --> 01:38:10,101 ♪Ooh, Ooh 1803 01:38:19,241 --> 01:38:22,548 ♪It's Time For Now 1804 01:38:22,548 --> 01:38:26,726 ♪The Fire Is Out As you can see ♪ 1805 01:38:26,726 --> 01:38:28,772 ♪Love Take Me Down 1806 01:38:28,772 --> 01:38:33,733 ♪Where I'm Longing To Be 1807 01:38:33,733 --> 01:38:35,779 ♪Love Take Me Down 1808 01:38:35,779 --> 01:38:39,217 ♪Down, Down, Down 1809 01:38:39,217 --> 01:38:41,567 ♪Love Take Me Down 1810 01:38:41,567 --> 01:38:45,310 ♪Love Take Me Down Love take me down ♪ 1811 01:38:45,310 --> 01:38:47,225 ♪Love Take Me Down To the streets ♪ 1812 01:38:47,225 --> 01:38:50,446 ♪Banging On A Streetlight 1813 01:38:50,446 --> 01:38:53,449 ♪Banging On A Streetlight ♪Love Take Me Down To the streets ♪ 1814 01:38:53,449 --> 01:38:56,495 ♪Banging On A Streetlight ♪Banging On A streetlight ♪ 1815 01:38:56,495 --> 01:38:59,977 ♪Love Take Me Down Banging on a streetlight ♪ 1816 01:38:59,977 --> 01:39:02,197 ♪Banging On A streetlight ♪ 1817 01:39:02,197 --> 01:39:06,201 ♪Love Take Me Down To your streetlight ♪