1
00:00:05,940 --> 00:00:07,072
AW.
2
00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:08,140
AHH.
3
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:09,091
HUH.
4
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,041
STOP THE LEAK
BALLOON BOY.
5
00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:11,510
I AIN'T MOVIN'.
6
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,978
OH, NO. I'M GREAT.
7
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:14,680
I LOVE WASTING MY
WHOLE LUNCH PERIOD
8
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:17,549
WATCHING YOU
HAVE A YAK-ATTACK
ALL OVER YOUR BLOG.
9
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:19,785
YOU COULD ALWAYS
WATCH INTERNET VIDEOS
10
00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:21,086
WITH SPUD INSTEAD.
11
00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:23,055
HA HA HA HA!
HEH HEH!
12
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:24,923
HOW DOES THE MONKEY
KEEP FINDING
13
00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:27,192
NEW PLACES
TO HIDE THE CHEESE?
14
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,627
PASS. JUST
BLOG IT ALL OUT,
15
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:29,661
AND WE'LL
HIT THE COURTYARD.
16
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:31,930
YOU CAN'T
RUSH PASSION, JAKEY.
17
00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:34,033
BLOGGING IS THE VOICE
OF OUR GENERATION.
18
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:36,535
THIS IS HOW WE GET UP
IN FRONT OF THE WORLD
19
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,370
AND SAY YO,
20
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,204
THIS IS WHERE WE STAND,
AND WE SHALL NOT BE MOVED.
21
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,840
WHAT KYLE WILKINS
WORE TODAY?
22
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:45,544
UNLESS KYLE'S WEARING
VINTAGE JEANS AND A MUSCLE TEE.
23
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,547
NOW THAT WILL MOVE ME.
MMM, MMM.
24
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,082
CALL THE MOVIN' VAN.
25
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:52,618
HEY. WHAT'S
GOIN' ON OUT THERE?
26
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:53,652
MONKEY HIDING CHEESE.
27
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,687
OH, PLEASE BE A MONKEY
HIDING CHEESE.
28
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:57,156
[STUDENTS LAUGHING]
29
00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:59,158
Boy: OOH, OOH.
WAIT, WAIT.
30
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,659
BRADSTER'S GOT ONE
EVEN BETTER.
31
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,961
IN THE FOURTH GRADE,
FREDERICK BUTTERSLEEVES
32
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,696
HAD TO GO TO
THE NURSE'S OFFICE
33
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:06,632
WITH A CRICKET
UP HIS NOSE.
34
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:08,333
[LAUGHTER]
35
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,836
IT WAS MY
SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT.
36
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,671
WE GOT A THUMB SUCKER!
37
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:14,573
Students: OOH!
38
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,458
BRAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
39
00:01:16,459 --> 00:01:18,342
THE BRADSTER TOTALLY
GANKED SOME
PERMANENT RECORDS
40
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:19,745
FROM ROTWOOD'S
OFFICE.
41
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,146
YOU GOT SOMEBODY YOU
WANNA BUY SOME DIRT ON?
42
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:24,016
THESE BABIES WILL HAVE THEIR
MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS
43
00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:26,151
FROM PRESCHOOL
TO THIS MORNING.
44
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:27,186
THIS ISN'T FUNNY, GUYS.
45
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:28,954
PEOPLE GOT
PRIVATE STUFF IN THERE.
46
00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:30,721
Boy: OH, COME ON, THIS IS GREAT!
Girl: IT IS TOO FUNNY.
47
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:33,008
Boy: COME ON, NOW,
THIS IS TOO GOOD!
48
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:35,293
YOU GOT PRIVATE
STUFF IN YOUR
RECORD, JERK LONG?
49
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,595
LET'S FIND OUT.
50
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,913
HEY, GIMME THAT!
51
00:01:37,914 --> 00:01:39,230
UH, THAT IS NOT
YOUR BUSINESS, BRAD.
52
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:40,199
LEAVE HIM ALONE!
53
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,283
HUH HO, CHECK IT!
54
00:01:41,284 --> 00:01:42,366
PERSONAL NOTES
FROM ROTWOOD.
55
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:45,704
A VERY IMPORTANT PLAYER
IN THE MAGICAL WORLD,
56
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:48,841
THANKS TO HIS SECRET
DOUBLE-LIFE AS A FIRE...
57
00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:51,143
BREATHING...DRAGON?
58
00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:53,145
[ALL GASP]
59
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,982
¶ HE'S COOL ¶
60
00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,683
¶ HE'S HOT
LIKE A FROZEN SUN ¶
61
00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:00,085
¶ HE'S YOUNG AND FAST ¶
62
00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:01,787
¶ HE'S THE CHOSEN ONE ¶
63
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:04,756
¶ PEOPLE,
WE'RE NOT BRAGGIN' ¶
64
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:08,393
¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶
65
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:10,662
¶ HE'S GONNA STOP
HIS ENEMIES ¶
66
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:11,997
¶ WITH HIS DRAGON POWER ¶
67
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:13,966
¶ DRAGON TEETH,
DRAGON TAIL ¶
68
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,200
¶ BURNIN' DRAGON FIRE ¶
69
00:02:15,202 --> 00:02:17,202
¶ A REAL LIVE WIRE ¶
70
00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:20,139
¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶
71
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:23,142
¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶
72
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:29,815
¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶
73
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,683
¶ HIS SKILLS ARE
GETTIN' FASTER ¶
74
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,352
¶ WITH GRANDPA,
THE MASTER ¶
75
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,053
¶ HIS DESTINY
WELL, WHAT'S UP, G? ¶
76
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,222
¶ IT'S SHOWTIME, BABY,
FOR THE LEGACY ¶
77
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:38,457
¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶
78
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:39,691
¶ I'M A DRAGON,
I'M NOT BRAGGIN' ¶
79
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,326
¶ IT'S MY DESTINY ¶
80
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:45,130
¶ I'M THE MAGICAL PROTECTOR
OF THE N.Y.C. ¶
81
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:47,199
YA HEARD!
82
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:54,907
¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶
83
00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:58,210
UH, ABOUT THAT
FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON STUFF--
84
00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,344
I CAN EXPLAIN
EVERYTHING. SEE--
85
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,280
Brett: HA HA!
JERK LONG
86
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:02,514
THINKS HE'S SOME
KIND OF DRAGON
87
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:05,217
IN HIS OWN
MAKE PRETEND
FANTASY WORLD.
88
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:06,185
ALL ABOARD!
89
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,954
THE PIXIE LAND
EXPRESS. CUCKOO!
90
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,222
[LAUGHTER]
91
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,790
AT LEAST IT'S
A COVER STORY.
92
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,759
BUT YOU CAN'T--
I'M--I'M NOT--
93
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,727
IT'S PROBABLY JUST
ROTWOOD MAKING UP STORIES.
94
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:16,428
WHO CARES?
95
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,330
IT'S
HIL-A-RACIOUS!
96
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,032
AND IT'S
NOT ABOUT ME!
97
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,484
THIS DOESN'T
MAKE SENSE!
98
00:03:21,485 --> 00:03:22,935
HOW DID YOU
EVEN GET THESE
FROM ROTWOOD'S OFFICE?
99
00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:25,804
[GERMAN ACCENT]
DID I LEAVE THOSE
FOLDERS SITTING OUT
100
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,373
WITH THE DOOR OPEN
101
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,941
AND JAKE LONG'S FILE
ON THE TOP
OF THE STACK, AGAIN?
102
00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:31,476
ACH! WHAT A MAJOR
OOPSIE I HAVE COMMITTED.
103
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:35,047
ONE DAY'S DETENTION
FOR YOU NAUGHTY BOYS.
104
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,115
ONE DAY!
THAT'S ALL THEY GET?
105
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,468
OH, AND BY THE WAY,
STUDENTS,
106
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,820
NEXT WEEK,
WE WILL BE WORKING ON
CLASS MOSTS AND BESTS.
107
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:45,057
YOU KNOW, MOST LIKELY
TO SUCCEED, BEST HAIR,
108
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,491
BIGGEST WEIRDO FREAK.
109
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,060
BIGGEST WEIRDO FREAK.
110
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,494
SINCE WHEN IS
THAT A CATEGORY?
111
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,230
IT, UH, MUST HAVE
JUST BEEN ADDED.
112
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:53,198
HOW TOTALLY
COINCIDENTAL!
113
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,200
ANY NOMINATIONS?
114
00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:57,201
JAKE LONG,
FOR BIGGEST
WEIRDO FREAK.
115
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:59,438
YEAH, JAKE LONG!
SECOND IT.
116
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,856
Boy: OH, YEAH.
117
00:04:00,857 --> 00:04:02,273
HA HA!
DEMOCRACY IN ACTION.
118
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:03,475
TA.
119
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,277
[GROANS]
120
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:08,247
YO, YOU WANTED
THOSE PUNKS
TO READ MY FILE.
121
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,748
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
122
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,350
ZE DOOR, PLEASE.
123
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:15,087
PERMIT ME TO BE
PERFECTLY FRANK
VITH YOU, MR. LONG.
124
00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:17,456
AS A YOUNG STUDENT
OF MAGICAL CREATURES,
125
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,424
I MADE
A PROMISE TO MYSELF.
126
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:23,061
I SWORE I WOULD
EXPOSE MY FIRST
MAGICAL CREATURE
127
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:26,031
TO THE WORLD BY MY
47th BIRTHDAY.
128
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,199
WHY 47th?
129
00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:28,817
WAS A TYPO.
130
00:04:28,818 --> 00:04:30,434
THAT BIRTHDAY
ARRIVES IN ONE WEEK.
131
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:33,105
YET, NOTHING TO SHOW
FOR MY LIFE'S VERK.
132
00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:34,940
OH, I HAVE HAD
MANY LEADS
OVER THE YEARS.
133
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:38,176
YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW CLOSE I AM
TO FINDING SOMEPLACE
134
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,045
CALLED THE MAGUS BAZAAR.
135
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,281
THE, UH,
BIZARRO WHAT NOW?
136
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,516
AND, OF COURSE,
I DID LEARN THAT
A CERTAIN YOUNG MAN
137
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:47,085
LIVES THE SECRET
LIFE OF A DRAGON.
138
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:48,987
BUT, AS WE HAVE SEEN,
139
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:51,089
[ROARS]
140
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:56,194
[SIGHS] YOU ARE
NOT SO EASILY EXPOSED.
141
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:59,498
SO, NOW WE PLAY DIRTY,
LIKE THE SWINEY PIGGIES, JA?
142
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,867
YOU THINK GETTING ME
NOMINATED FOR FREAK OF THE YEAR
143
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,335
IS GONNA PROVE I'M A DRAGON?
144
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:06,171
NO, BUT IT WILL
THROW YOU OFF YOUR GAME.
145
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,439
GET YOU TO
MAKE A MISTAKE--
146
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,408
DRAGON UP
AT ZE WRONG MOMENT.
147
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:10,909
AND WHEN YOU DO,
WHO WILL BE THERE
148
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:14,546
TO RECORD
THE EVIDENCE OF YOUR
TRUE MAGICAL NATURE?
149
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,748
HANS ROTWOOD!
150
00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:18,949
ENJOY THE TEEN
GOSSIP MACHINE.
151
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:21,820
[GIGGLING AND WHISPERING]
152
00:05:22,256 --> 00:05:24,523
UH, HEY, LADIES.
153
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,825
GOSSIP SURE
TRAVELS FAST, HUH?
154
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,327
HA HA HA.
155
00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:29,879
OH!
156
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,430
THERE'S A DUDE THAT
THINKS HE'S A DRAGON.
157
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,364
DOES HE BREATHE FIRE?
158
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,965
OH, HE'S GONNA FLY!
159
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,901
[LAUGHTER]
160
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:36,968
UH.
161
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:37,602
UHH.
162
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,271
JOIN US, BROTHER.
163
00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:40,972
[GASPS]
164
00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,274
UHH.
165
00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:43,676
[GASPS]
166
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,077
FANTASY SECTION'S
OVER THERE, DRAGON BOY.
167
00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:47,079
[GROANS] ROTWOOD, PUNK.
168
00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:50,615
MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A FREAK,
STUPID GOSSIP.
169
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:53,085
SPUD! WHERE
HAVE YOU BEEN, MAN?
170
00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:54,987
UH, JUST A SEC, JAKE.
171
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,888
THEY GOT RAPPIN' BABIES
ON THE INTERNET NOW.
172
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,090
RAPPIN' BABIES!
173
00:05:58,092 --> 00:05:59,291
HA HA HA
HA HA HA!
174
00:05:59,293 --> 00:06:01,593
¶ MAMA, MAMA ¶
175
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,628
¶ BA BA BA BABA ¶
176
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:04,429
¶ MAMA! ¶
177
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:08,433
LOG ON, BLOG ON.
UNLOAD.
178
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,569
HMM.
179
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:13,872
Trixie: OOH-WHEE!
180
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,540
THAT IS A SERIOUS
BLOG SLAPPIN'
181
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,876
YOU'RE LAYIN' DOWN
ON ROTWOOD, BOY!
182
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,378
BUT ISN'T THIS
JUST GONNA MAKE
183
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:20,946
THE POPULARITY
BEAT-DOWN WORSE?
184
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:23,081
I MEAN, YOU CALLED
YOURSELF THE AMDRAG.
185
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,150
NOBODY AT SCHOOL EVEN
KNOWS WHAT THE AMDRAG IS.
186
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:28,353
BESIDES, THERE'S,
LIKE, HALF A MILLION
BLOGS OUT THERE.
187
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:29,488
WHO CARES ABOUT MINE?
188
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:32,057
Girl: HEY, SARAH,
CHECK THIS OUT.
189
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,225
COMING!
190
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,459
LOOKS LIKE
THE AMERICAN DRAGON
191
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:35,944
FINALLY
DISCOVERED CYBERSPACE.
192
00:06:35,945 --> 00:06:37,428
AND HE REALLY HATES
THIS GUY CALLED ROTWOOD.
193
00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:39,431
I WONDER
WHAT HE'S SAYIN'
ON HIS BLOG.
194
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,332
I GOT
TO TAKE A LOOK.
195
00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:43,502
WHAT SITE'S
SHE GOT THERE?
196
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:46,438
Jake: JUST WHEN YOU
THOUGHT ROTWOOD
COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE--
197
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,408
Rotwood: AND FOR
THOSE STUDENTS WITH SPECIAL
198
00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:54,379
DRAGON DIETARY NEEDS,
THE CAFETERIA STAFF
HAS PREPARED
199
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,665
AN ALTERNATE LUNCH OF...
200
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,950
[CHUCKLES] BRAVE KNIGHTS
AND PRETTY DAMSELS.
201
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,051
HA HA!
202
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,197
[LAUGHTER]
203
00:07:01,198 --> 00:07:02,342
Jake: I MEAN,
WHY DOES HE ALWAYS
204
00:07:02,343 --> 00:07:03,487
GOTTA BE HATIN'
ON MAGICAL CREATURES?
205
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,023
YEAH, WHAT'S
ROTWOOD'S PROBLEM?
206
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,558
Jake: IF YOU LOOK UP
EVIL, LYING,
207
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,092
GOOD-FOR-NOTHING,
LOSER PUNK IN THE DICTIONARY,
208
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:11,396
I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT NOW
WHO'S PICTURE YOU'D SEE.
209
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,432
FOR SERIOUS,
210
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,467
I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING
TO GET THAT JERK
OUT OF MY LIFE.
211
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:16,802
HE'D GIVE ANYTHING?
212
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,136
ISN'T THE AMERICAN DRAGON
SUPPOSED TO BE,
213
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,571
LIKE, A MILLIONAIRE
OR SOMETHING?
214
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,406
REALLY?
WELL, HE IS FAMOUS,
RIGHT?
215
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,542
AREN'T, LIKE,
ALL FAMOUS PEOPLE RICH?
216
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:26,545
AYE, HE USED TO WORK
FOR LEPRECHAUNS, YOU KNOW.
217
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,680
[ALL CHATTERING]
218
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,182
WHAT'S GOING ON?
219
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,683
SOME KIND OF
MILLION DOLLAR REWARD
220
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,985
FOR A HUMAN
CALLED ROTWOOD.
221
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,221
WOW, EASY MONEY!
222
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:38,456
HEY, CHUCK.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE
WHAT I JUST HEARD!
223
00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:40,625
ONLY A COUPLE DAYS
LEFT TILL VOTING.
224
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,160
HOW BAD IS MY
SCHOOL CRED?
225
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,745
LET ME PUT IT
THIS WAY.
226
00:07:43,746 --> 00:07:45,329
IF ANYBODY
SAW ME WALKIN'
TO SCHOOL WITH YOU,
227
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:48,400
I'D BE KNOWN AS THE
BRIDE OF FREAK-ENSTEIN.
228
00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:49,735
AW, MAN!
229
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:51,069
THIS IS GONNA GO
IN THE YEARBOOK
AND EVERYTHING.
230
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,338
WE GOTTA TURN THIS
THING AROUND SOMEHOW.
231
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,473
THERE'S GOTTA BE
SOMEBODY AT SCHOOL
232
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:56,074
WHO'S A BIGGER
FREAK THAN--
233
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,375
ZOMBIE BAND GEEK!
234
00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:58,477
ARR!
235
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,562
YO, SPUD.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
236
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,646
IF A MONKEY HIDING CHEESE
AND A COUPLE OF RAPPING BABIES
237
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,416
CAN BE
INTERNET VIDEO STARS,
238
00:08:04,418 --> 00:08:06,485
ANYONE CAN!
239
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,553
SO I FIGURED,
HEY, I'LL JUST DRESS UP
AS A ZOMBIE BAND GEEK
240
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:10,255
JUMP OUT OF DARK ALLEYS
TO SCARE PEOPLE
241
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:12,324
CATCH IT ON DVD AND...
242
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,343
WHAT?
243
00:08:14,344 --> 00:08:16,361
SO, YEAH,
THERE'S PROBABLY STILL
A FEW KIDS AT SCHOOL
244
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:17,395
FREAKIER THAN YOU.
245
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:18,930
YOU MAY BE ALL RIGHT.
246
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,464
IF YOU COULD JUST
KEEP AWAY FROM
ANY WEIRDO STUFF
247
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,766
FOR THE REST
OF THE WEEK.
248
00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:23,235
AAHR!
249
00:08:23,237 --> 00:08:24,536
UHH!
250
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,104
WHOA!
JAKEY!
251
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,038
LET ME GO,
252
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,607
OR TASTE MY TALONS,
YOU FOOL!
253
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,141
HIT-AND-RUN
ARTIST, HUH?
254
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,576
WELL, TASTE THIS!
255
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,512
DRAGON UP!
256
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:37,682
WHO SENT YOU?
257
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,218
I SAW HIM FIRST.
HE'S MINE!
258
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,288
AAH! FORGET IT.
259
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:44,623
NO REWARD
IS WORTH THIS.
260
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:48,093
HEY, I ASKED
YOU A QUESTION!
261
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:56,434
WHAT THE HECK
WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
262
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,569
UH, JAKEY...
263
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,571
"ROTWOOD?"
264
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,640
[HUMMING]
265
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,075
YUMMY, YUMMY
CRULLER--
266
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,509
MAKES MY TUMMY
FEEL MUCH FULLER.
267
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,611
A HA HA HA HA!
THAT'S A JOKE.
268
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,346
THAT THING WASN'T
AFTER ME AT ALL.
269
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,815
I WAS JUST IN THE WAY
OF ITS REAL TARGET.
270
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:13,084
HMM HMM HMM HMM.
271
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,719
[DRUM ROLL]
272
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,353
WHAT? IT'S FOR
DRAMATIC AFFECT.
273
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:17,789
CRESCENDO, CRESCENDO...
274
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,291
SILENCIO!
275
00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:20,592
UGH, DUDE.
276
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,827
CHILLS.
277
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,349
Fu Dog: A MILLION BUCKS?
[WHISTLES]
278
00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,100
SO, HYPOTHETICALLY,
WHO WOULD I TALK TO
ABOUT COLLECTING
279
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,368
IF I WAS THINKING, YOU--
FU DOG!
280
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,470
WHAT? I'D BUY YA
SOMETHIN' NICE.
281
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,572
THAT'S THE THING, FU.
282
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,540
IT DOESN'T SAY
WHO'S BEHIND THIS.
283
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:36,708
WHO WOULD BEAR
ILL-WILL TOWARD
284
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,243
A MIDDLE SCHOOL
PRINCIPAL?
285
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,078
[SCOFFS]
A MIDDLE SCHOOL?
286
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,514
ROTWOOD TOLD ME HE WAS
REAL CLOSE TO FINDING OUT
287
00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:44,049
WHERE MAGUS BAZAAR WAS.
288
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:45,583
SOME BIG SHOT IN
THE MAGIC WORLD
MUST HAVE FOUND OUT
289
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,452
AND PUT A PRICE
ON HIS CAPTURE...
290
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:48,520
OR WORSE.
291
00:09:48,522 --> 00:09:50,655
PRINCIPAL ROTWOOD
HAS NO IDEA
292
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:51,723
OF THE DANGER HE IS IN.
293
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,475
AND, IF WE
ARE TO KEEP HIM
294
00:09:53,476 --> 00:09:55,226
FROM EXPOSING
ANY MAGICAL CREATURES,
295
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,361
HE MUST REMAIN SO.
296
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,163
YOU DON'T EVEN
WANT US TO WARN HIM?
297
00:09:58,165 --> 00:10:00,131
NO, I WANT YOU
TO PROTECT HIM.
298
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,733
WITHOUT LETTING HIM
KNOW YOU ARE DOING IT.
299
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,602
SAY WHAT?
HOW ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?
300
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,804
FU DOG AND I WILL SCOUR
THE MAGICAL UNDERWORLD
301
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,772
TO FIND OUT WHO IS
RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS.
302
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,575
IN THE MEANTIME,
YOU MUST FOLLOW
ROTWOOD EVERYWHERE.
303
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:13,678
REMEMBER, ANYONE
AND ANYTHING
COULD BE A THREAT--
304
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,246
CONSTANT VIGILANCE.
[BABIES COOING]
305
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,315
EVEN THE SLIGHTEST
DISTRACTION COULD MEAN--
306
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:18,583
ARTHUR SPUDINSKI!
307
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,518
WHAT IS ON MY COMPUTER?
308
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,154
RAPPING BABIES/
MONKEY HIDING CHEESE
309
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,490
CROSS-OVER VIDEO.
310
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:34,265
KINDA OBVIOUS,
BUT, UH, IT WORKS.
311
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,635
[SHUDDERING] UGH.
312
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:39,904
[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]
313
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:44,209
[HUMMING]
314
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,812
Jake: WHAT'S
HE DOING, SPUD?
315
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,347
I CAN'T TELL.
316
00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:50,881
BUT WHATEVER IT IS,
IT'S REALLY COLORFUL
317
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:52,450
AND THERE ARE
HUNDREDS OF 'EM.
318
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,285
SAY WHAT?
319
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:57,389
SPUD, THIS
IS A KALEIDOSCOPE.
320
00:10:57,391 --> 00:10:59,791
YEAH, ALL MY SPY GEAR
COMES FROM CEREAL BOXES.
321
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,359
I'M HAVIN'
MY DOUBTS ABOUT
322
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:02,861
THE
MARSHMALLOWMICROPHONE,
TOO.
323
00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:05,630
WELL, IT LOOKS
LIKE IT'S ALL CLEAR.
324
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:07,599
FOR NOW, ANYWAY.
325
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,169
[SPLAT]
326
00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:16,541
UH...GUYS?
327
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:23,648
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,
BLOBZILLA.
328
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:24,849
WHOA!
329
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:25,917
UNH!
330
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,485
STOP MOVIN' JAKEY.
331
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:28,486
LET US GET
A HANDLE ON IT.
332
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,221
TIME FOR A LITTLE
PUDDLE STOMPING.
333
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,290
DRAGON UP!
334
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:37,495
UH...UM,
335
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:39,431
I'M--WHOO!
I'M DRAGGIN'--
336
00:11:39,433 --> 00:11:41,499
UNDER THE WEIGHT
OF THIS BACKPACK.
337
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,601
WHOO, HOMEWORK TODAY!
YEESH!
338
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:45,570
YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M SAYIN' PEOPLE?
339
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:48,373
GETTING SCHLOPPY,
ALREADY, MR. LONG?
340
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,508
OH, HOW ZE GOSSIP
MUST BE AFFECTING
341
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,577
YOUR TENDER
JUNIOR HIGH SELF-ESTEEM.
342
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:56,314
HERE, HAVE A FLYER!
THEY'RE GOING FAST,
YOU KNOW.
343
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,783
"JAKE 4 FREAK"?
344
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:00,518
UGH!
345
00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:03,071
UH, JAKE?
346
00:12:03,072 --> 00:12:04,688
MAYBE YOU'D LIKE
TO BLOG OFF SOME
OF THAT STEAM, INSTEAD.
347
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:07,592
¶ I'VE GOT WI-FI ¶
348
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,561
[ANGRILY]
GOOD IDEA.
349
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,363
OH, NOW THAT IS
JUST INFURIATIN'.
350
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,898
CAN YOU BELIEVE
THE NERVE OF THAT GUY?
351
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,266
WAIT TILL HE GETS HIS!
352
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,401
EH, OH, BIG ERNIE,
353
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,535
I'M TRYIN' TO GET
SOME INFORMATION HERE.
354
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,338
YEAH, YEAH.
HOLD YOUR CENTAURS, HUH?
355
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,907
AH, COME ON.
HE DID NOT!
356
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,642
AAH! ARE YOU
KIDDIN' ME?
357
00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:27,245
AIYAA.
COME ALONG, FU DOG.
358
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,513
YEAH,
I HEARD ABOUT THIS.
359
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,548
NO IDEA
WHO'S PAYIN', THOUGH.
360
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:31,483
ASK BEN THE FISH.
361
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:33,518
HE'S THE ONE
WHO TOLD ME.
362
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:34,686
ALL I KNOW IS,
363
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:36,254
SKINNY VINNY TELLS ME
364
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,821
SOMEBODY'S PAYIN'
TO TAKE CARE OF
THIS ROTWOOD CREEP,
365
00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:39,357
BUT, GOOD.
366
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:40,909
TELL YA TRUE,
367
00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:42,460
I DON'T QUITE RECOLLECT
WHO TOLD ME FIRST.
368
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,929
YA'LL TRY TALKIN'
TO BIG ERNIE YET?
369
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:45,997
[GROANS]
370
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:46,931
OOH, BOY.
371
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:47,866
I JUST HOPE
THE KID'S
372
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,001
HAVIN' MORE LUCK
THAN WE ARE.
373
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,570
[ALL GROANING]
374
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:55,340
EW, I GOT BOUNTY HUNTER
IN MY MOUTH!
375
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,642
Jake: UHH,
GET OFF OF ME!
[SMACKING]
376
00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,444
LET ME
AT THE ROTWOOD BEAST.
377
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,846
I'LL GUM HIM
WITHOUT MERCY.
378
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:02,847
UHH.
AAH!
379
00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:06,317
GOOD-BYE,
EARLY RETIREMENT.
380
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,820
[HOWLS]
381
00:13:09,523 --> 00:13:10,789
WE HEARD YELLING.
YOU ALL RIGHT?
382
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,557
YEAH, I'M--
WHAT IN HIMMEL
383
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:13,858
IS GOING ON OUT HERE?
384
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:14,793
NOTHING! I MEAN--
385
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,861
UH, I GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.
386
00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:19,247
I MEAN--
387
00:13:19,248 --> 00:13:21,632
NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING
TO GET CONTROL...UNDER.
388
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,502
OHH, JAKE,
YOU LOOK SO TERRIBLE.
389
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,771
I THINK I MIGHT
BE FEELING GUILTY.
390
00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,573
[BELCHES]
391
00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,374
UMM, NEIN,
IT VAS A SCHNITZEL BURP.
392
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:31,643
OH, WELL, I'LL JUST--
393
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,178
[SCREAMING]
HELP!
394
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:34,712
IT'S A BIG
SERPENT OF PINO TING.
395
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,581
OH-HO--
DRAGON UP!
396
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:37,666
UGH!
397
00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:38,750
AAH! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
398
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:41,837
OH! IT FINALLY WORKED!
399
00:13:41,838 --> 00:13:44,923
I HAVE VIDEOGRAPHIC PROOF
OF A DRAGON'S EXISTENCE.
400
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,559
[SIGHS] HAPPY
EARLY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
401
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:49,961
THIS IS THE MOST
INCREDIBLE FEELING OF MY--
402
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,563
LENS CAP'S ON,
BUDDY.
403
00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:53,431
HUH? HMM?
404
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:56,100
NOOOOOOO!
405
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:57,769
Fu Dog: ALL RIGHT,
THE FEW LEADS WE'VE GOT
406
00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:59,537
ALL POINT
BACK HERE TO...HEY.
407
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:03,608
ISN'T THAT
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
AND DAME DOWNER?
408
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:08,546
SO, WITH ALL
THE ROTWOOD CRAZINESS
THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS
409
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,981
IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU SUNK A LITTLE MORE
410
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:12,350
ON THE POPULARITY SCALE.
411
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,418
HOW FAR?
412
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:14,485
UH, I WOULD SAY
RIGHT AROUND THE KID
413
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:16,487
WHO SHOVED
THE BUG UP HIS NOSE.
414
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,556
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
415
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:21,359
IT'S JUST ONE MORE DAY
TILL VOTING, JAKEY.
416
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,061
MAYBE IF YOU COULD JUST,
YOU KNOW,
417
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,863
CHILL WITH THE FREAKINESS
TILL THEN.
418
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,481
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
419
00:14:26,482 --> 00:14:28,098
I'M GETTING ATTACKED
BY MUD, GUMMED
BY OLD WERE-LADIES.
420
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,634
HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED
TO FREAK OUT
421
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,469
WHEN EVERYBODY I SEE
COULD BE A MAGICAL
422
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,404
BOUNTY HUNTER
TRYIN' TO--
423
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,006
WAIT.
424
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:36,607
DOES THAT EGG-SALAD
SANDWICH LOOK FUNNY
TO YOU?
425
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:38,877
EGG-SALAD SANDWICHES
ALWAYS LOOK FUNNY
TO ME.
426
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:42,513
I CALL THEM THE
STAND-UP COMEDIANS
OF THE DELI WORLD.
427
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:44,115
AAAH!
428
00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:46,885
UHHHH!
429
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,621
[GASPING]
430
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,589
UNH! REVEAL YOUR
TRUE FORM, SHAPE SHIFTER!
431
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,625
I KNOW YOUR EVIL,
EGG-Y PLANS!
432
00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:54,859
AAH! UNH!
433
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:55,994
OH, JAKEY.
434
00:14:55,996 --> 00:15:00,064
YOU...CAN'T...
HANDLE...WHAT...I--
435
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,733
GOT?
436
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,202
UH...
437
00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:06,170
I, UH...THOUGHT
IT WENT BAD.
438
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:07,739
MY BAD.
439
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,545
FREAK.
440
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,982
[VOICE WAVERING]
THANK YOU.
441
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:19,751
[SIGHS]
442
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,519
THEY ACTUALLY THOUGHT
THERE WAS A BOUNTY
FOR THIS BOZO?
443
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,688
COULD PEOPLE BE
ANY MORE IGNORANT?
444
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:24,923
THEN YOU KNOW
HOW THIS HAPPEN?
445
00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:27,158
WHAT VISION
HAVE YOU SEEN?
446
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,762
I TOLD YOU THE INTERNET
WOULD TAKE THE MAGIC
OUT OF MAGIC.
447
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,897
EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED
IS ALL HIS FAULT.
448
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:35,433
HE'S ALWAYS BEEN
OUT TO GET ME, BUT NOW--
449
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,668
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
450
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:37,752
[BEEP]
YO, FU,
451
00:15:37,753 --> 00:15:38,835
TELL ME YOU FOUND OUT
WHO'S DOING THIS,
452
00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,071
SO I CAN BE DONE WITH IT.
453
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,839
OH, WE FOUND OUT.
[CHUCKLES]
454
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:43,141
BUT YOU'RE NOT
GONNA BE HAPPY.
455
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:45,076
I'M ALREADY NOT HAPPY.
WHO IS IT?
456
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,678
I'M TALKING TO HIM.
457
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,613
WHAT, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
458
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,547
I NEVER--I DON'T EVEN
HAVE A MILLION DOLLARS!
459
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,650
WELL, JAKE, THAT BLOG
YOU BEEN WRITIN'--
460
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:53,651
ALL THAT STUFF
ABOUT ROTWOOD--
461
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:56,087
THEY TOOK IT ALL
OUTTA CONTEXT.
462
00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:58,522
NOT THAT IT WASN'T
PRETTY INFLAMMATORY
IN CONTEXT.
463
00:15:58,525 --> 00:15:59,624
I MEAN, WOOF.
464
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,825
OH, MAN, I--
465
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:02,877
I GOTTA--
466
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,928
UH, EVERYTHING'S COOL
WITH ME AND ROTWOOD NOW.
467
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:07,465
NO NEED
FOR ANY UGLY STUFF.
468
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,600
"IT WAS ALL
A MISUNDERSTANDING?"
469
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,636
UGH, NO WAY!
470
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,671
THE ROTWOOD BEAST
MUST BE FORCING HIM
TO SAY THESE LIES.
471
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,673
WE HAVE
TO FREE THE LADDY!
472
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:18,743
[ALL AGREEING]
473
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:20,195
UH, KID?
474
00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,646
MAYBE THE JOURNALISM
BUSINESS AIN'T FOR YOU.
475
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,715
[DISMAYED UTTERANCE]
476
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:28,553
AND, SO, FELLOW
FILLMORE MIDDLE SCHOOLIANS,
477
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,622
WHEN YOU VOTE TOMORROW,
478
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,690
REMEMBER NOT JUST
THE BEST-LOOKING
AND MOST ATHLETIC--
479
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:33,758
GO, BRADSTER--
BUT ALSO,
480
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,626
THOSE WHO GIVE US
OUR DAILY HELPINGS
481
00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:39,197
OF FANTASY-LOVING,
GEEK FREAKINESS.
482
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,264
[GASPS]
483
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,867
JAKE LONG,
EVERYBODY!
484
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:43,935
OWF WEINERSTAIN.
485
00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:45,770
[CHANTING]
FREAK, FREAK, FREAK!
486
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,638
FREAK, FREAK, FREAK!
487
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,107
I GOTTA TALK TO YOU.
488
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,942
IN PRIVATE.
489
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,610
SURRENDERING ALREADY.
490
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,362
WELL,
I HAVE A CAMERA HERE,
491
00:16:54,363 --> 00:16:56,113
IF YOU CARE
TO ASSUME YOUR DRAGON FORM.
492
00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:57,104
NO, LISTEN.
493
00:16:57,105 --> 00:16:58,093
I WASN'T SUPPOSED
TO TELL YOU THIS,
494
00:16:58,094 --> 00:16:59,082
BUT WE DON'T HAVE
A CHOICE ANYMORE.
495
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,885
YOU'RE IN HUGE DANGER.
496
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,653
I CAN HELP YOU
HIDE UNTIL--
497
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,639
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
KIND OF LIEDERHOSEN
498
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,624
YOU'RE TRYING
TO PULL OVER MY EYES,
MR. LONG,
499
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:07,825
BUT IT WILL NOT WORK!
500
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,961
[THUDDING]
501
00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:11,062
[THUD]
502
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,664
[STOMPING]
503
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:20,671
[CAR ALARM BLARES]
504
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,043
OOH, LOOKEY,
A CIRCUS PARADE.
505
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,778
I DON'T THINK
THAT'S A--
506
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:28,179
OH, I LOVE THE CIRCUS!
507
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,365
[CAR ALARM BEEPS OFF]
508
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:32,550
AS A BOY, I DREAMED
OF BECOMING A FAMOUS JUGGLER,
509
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,151
BUT...
510
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,552
IT'S HIM, BOYS.
511
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,555
GET HIM, AND
THE MILLION IS OURS!
512
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,656
RAAAH!
513
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,191
HYAH!
HYAH!
514
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:41,325
AAH!
515
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:43,294
[CRASH]
516
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,664
AAH!
517
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,332
WHOO-HOO!
518
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,668
THIS IS A CIRCUS OF PAIN!
519
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,670
JUST STAY CLOSE TO ME.
520
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:54,839
UNH! UGH!
521
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,808
YAH! DRAGON UP!
522
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:57,909
WAAH!
523
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,210
OOH.
524
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,179
RAAAH!
525
00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,047
HYAH!
HYAH!
526
00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,582
YAH!
[BLUBBERS]
527
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,950
AAAH!
528
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:07,251
UNH.
529
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,619
AAH, OH!
530
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:09,654
RRRR!
531
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,355
I BREAK YOU!
532
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,357
YAH!
UNH!
[GIGGLING]
533
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,761
HANG ON, ROTWOOD,
I'M COMING!
534
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:20,631
HA HA HA HA!
HUH?
535
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:21,699
HEE HEE HEE HA!
536
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,035
UH! YAH!
OW!
537
00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:25,002
IT BURN!
538
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:28,639
[SOBBING]
539
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:31,008
UNH! HYAH!
540
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,176
AAH!
541
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,811
AAH!
542
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,998
NICE JUGGLING.
543
00:18:36,999 --> 00:18:38,382
WELL, IT'S LIKE
STUFFING A BRATWURST--
544
00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:40,618
ONCE YOU LEARN,
YOU NEVER FORGET.
545
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,620
[MOB SHOUTING]
546
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,723
[ALL TALKING]
547
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,993
OHH, DUKEDULLY-BOBBLEDY,
ARE THOSE...
548
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,563
MAGICAL?
YEAH.
549
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:54,132
BUT TRUST ME,
YOU DO NOT WANT
TO MEET THEM RIGHT NOW.
550
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,384
COME ON,
551
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:57,735
I GOTTA SHOW YOU
SOMETHING.
552
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:58,636
WHOO!
553
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,973
ACH, I'M FLYING! WHEE!
554
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,142
I...I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
555
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:07,044
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE
FOR THOSE CREATURES
ATTACKING ME?
556
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:11,382
AND YOU THINK MY HAIRDO
"LOOKS LIKE A CAN
OF UGLY EXPLODED?"
557
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,867
I'M SORRY.
558
00:19:12,868 --> 00:19:14,351
I JUST THOUGHT MY BLOG
WAS A PLACE TO VENT.
559
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:15,286
IT'S THE INTERNET, RIGHT?
560
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,721
YOU CAN SAY
WHATEVER YOU WANT.
561
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,890
GOSSIP IS GOSSIP,
JAKE.
562
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,058
AND IT IS POISONOUS
NO MATTER WHAT
FORM IT TAKES.
563
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:22,426
[SIGHS]
564
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:23,861
AH...
565
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,796
WHO AM I TO TALK, HUH?
566
00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:27,298
I DESERVE ALL OF THIS.
567
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:28,799
HAVE BEEN VERY UNFAIR
VITH YOU JAKE.
568
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:31,269
OF ALL PEOPLE,
I SHOULD KNOW
WHAT IT IS LIKE
569
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,837
TO BE RIDICULED
FOR TRYING
570
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,404
TO BRING TOGETHER
THE HUMAN AND
MAGICAL WORLDS.
571
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:37,842
AH, HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO ME, WHEE...
572
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:42,980
I SUPPOSE I CAN START
A SECOND CAREER TEACHING
COMBAT JUGGLING.
573
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,665
ACTUALLY...
574
00:19:44,666 --> 00:19:46,349
I THINK I MAY HAVE A WAY
TO MAKE US BOTH HAPPY.
575
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:49,053
IF YOU'RE WILLING
TO TRUST ME.
576
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,822
WHERE...AM I?
577
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,107
IT'S REALLY HIM.
578
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,391
OH, HE'S SO HIDEOUS.
WHO GETS THE REWARD?
579
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,393
LISTEN UP, PEOPLE.
580
00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:56,694
I KNOW A LOT OF Y'ALL
BEEN OUT
581
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,329
FOR THAT
MILLION DOLLAR REWARD.
582
00:19:58,331 --> 00:19:59,363
BUT YOU'RE TOO LATE!
583
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,465
THE ROTWOOD BEAST
HAS BEEN CLAIMED
584
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,000
BY THE AMDRAG.
585
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:06,370
THAT'S IT, GAME OVER,
THE REWARD IS MINE.
586
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,906
[MOANING AND GROANING]
587
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,992
WAIT...
588
00:20:10,993 --> 00:20:13,077
WASN'T HE THE ONE
WHO PUT UP THE REWARD
IN THE FIRST PLACE?
589
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:16,948
EH, WHO CAN REMEMBER
WHO THESE THINGS
GET STARTED?
590
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,283
THAT'S THE BEST
I CAN DO FOR NOW.
591
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:20,268
THEY'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE,
592
00:20:20,269 --> 00:20:21,252
BUT YOU MIGHT
WANT TO KEEP AWAY
593
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,887
FROM THE MAGICAL WORLD
FOR A WHILE.
594
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,356
UNICORNS! HA HA!
AND, LOOK, A PIXIE!
595
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,225
AH, TROLLS!
LEPRECHAUNS!
596
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:32,163
OOH! THIS IS ZE BEST
BIRTHDAY PRESENT
ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN ME!
597
00:20:32,165 --> 00:20:33,397
HO HO!
I CAN'T STAND IT!
598
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:36,200
YOU ARE ALL
SO FASCINATING.
599
00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:37,068
GET AWAY FROM ME!
600
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,102
OOH! I AM
A LIFE-LONG FAN!
601
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:39,370
BACK OFF!
BACK OFF, YOU!
602
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,072
BREATH-TAKING!
603
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,873
STOP TOUCHING ME!
604
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,410
SO, THAT IS WHY
I HAVE DECIDED
TO STRIKE THE CATEGORY
605
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:52,917
OF BIGGEST WEIRDO FREAK
FROM THIS YEAR'S
MOSTS AND BESTS BALLOT.
606
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,754
AND IN A COMPLETELY
UNRELATED MATTER,
607
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,990
APPARENTLY, A FEW
OF MY FANTASY
FICTION STORIES
608
00:20:58,992 --> 00:21:02,193
GOT ALL JUMBLISH,
NO GOOD, WITH MY
PERMANENT RECORD FILES.
609
00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:05,496
IF I HAVE ACCIDENTALLY
CREATED ANY RUMORS
ABOUT JAKE LONG,
610
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:08,065
I HEREBY PUT AN END TO THEM.
611
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:10,034
THAT IS ALL.
612
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:12,236
THANKS.
IT WAS OUR DEAL.
613
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:14,005
BESIDES,
I SHOULD BE THANKING YOU.
614
00:21:14,007 --> 00:21:17,942
I HAVE SEEN
THE MAGUS BAZAAR
WITH MEIN OWN EYES!
615
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,044
OH, IT IS ENOUGH
TO FEEL I HAVE
616
00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:22,513
FINALLY MADE SOMETHING
OF MY LIFE'S WORK!
617
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,982
GOOD TO HEAR IT.
WELL...
618
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:26,984
LATER.
TA.
619
00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:29,920
OF COURSE, A LITTLE
VIDEO EVIDENCE
620
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:33,090
FOR THE SCIENTIFIC
COMMUNITY WOULDN'T HURT.
621
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:35,526
COME ON,
UPLOAD TO MY WEBPAGE.
622
00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:37,094
SHOW ME THAT
DRAGON ACTION!
623
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:38,396
BEEPS.
624
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:40,498
ZOMBIE BAND-GEEK!
RAWOR!
625
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,433
VAS IN HIMMEL!
626
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:43,434
HEY, HOW 'BOUT THAT.
627
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:44,535
LOOK AT ME, HEY,
I MADE IT
628
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:48,039
ONTO THE INTERNET
AFTER ALL.
629
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:49,473
WHA??
630
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,175
LOOKING FOR THIS?
631
00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:52,876
I MADE A
LITTLE SWITCH WHILE
YOU WERE BLINDFOLDED.
632
00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:55,096
MY PROOF!
633
00:21:55,097 --> 00:21:57,314
[GERMAN ACCENT]
OOK! WHAT A MAJOR OOPSIE
I HAVE COMMITTED!
634
00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,817
BETTER LUCK
NEXT BIRTHDAY.
635
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:02,486
RMMMM....
636
00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:05,990
JAKE LOOOONG!
637
00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:10,494
Grandpa: SO,
NOW I AM BLOXING?
BLOGGING.
638
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:12,096
SO NOW I AM BLOGGING?
639
00:22:12,098 --> 00:22:13,848
ACTUALLY, GRAMPS,
640
00:22:13,849 --> 00:22:15,599
YOU'RE NOT REALLY BLOGGING
UNTIL YOU TYPE SOMETHING.
641
00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:17,101
BUT WHAT DO I TYPE?
642
00:22:17,103 --> 00:22:18,536
JUST...WHATEVER.
643
00:22:18,538 --> 00:22:19,403
TYPE WHAT YOU FEEL.
644
00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:21,439
HOW DO YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW?
645
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:25,076
HUNGRY.
646
00:22:25,078 --> 00:22:26,977
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
647
00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:29,947
I FAIL TO SEE THE FUN
IN THIS BLOGGING.
648
00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:32,516
[SIGHS]
NEVER MIND, G.