1
00:02:41,579 --> 00:02:43,240
Robin Williger.

2
00:02:43,347 --> 00:02:46,942
He is a 15-year-old freshman
from Racine, Wisconsin.

3
00:02:47,051 --> 00:02:48,746
He enjoys studying history.

4
00:02:48,852 --> 00:02:50,479
He's on the debate team.

5
00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:53,853
Robin's future looked
very, very bright,

6
00:02:53,958 --> 00:02:55,789
but recently he was
diagnosed with cancer,

7
00:02:55,893 --> 00:02:58,499
a very tough kind of cancer.

8
00:02:58,609 --> 00:03:01,122
<i>Robin tells me he has
quit smoking, though,</i>

9
00:03:01,232 --> 00:03:04,463
and he no longer thinks
that cigarettes are cool.

10
00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:10,904
Whoo!

11
00:03:11,008 --> 00:03:14,273
And our final guest today
is Nick Naylor.

12
00:03:14,378 --> 00:03:18,940
Mr. Naylor is the vice president
of the Academy of Tobacco Studies.

13
00:03:19,049 --> 00:03:22,075
Now, they are the tobacco
industry's main lobby

14
00:03:22,186 --> 00:03:23,483
in Washington, D.C.

15
00:03:23,587 --> 00:03:26,647
and Mr. Naylor is
their chief spokesman.

16
00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:46,439
<i>Few people on this planet know</i>

17
00:03:46,543 --> 00:03:48,670
<i>what it is to be truly despised.</i>

18
00:03:48,779 --> 00:03:51,009
<i>Can you blame them?</i>

19
00:03:51,115 --> 00:03:53,481
<i>I earn a living
fronting an organization</i>

20
00:03:53,584 --> 00:03:56,849
<i>that kills 1,200 human beings a day.</i>

21
00:03:56,954 --> 00:03:58,148
<i>1,200 people.</i>

22
00:03:58,255 --> 00:04:00,746
<i>We're talking
two jumbojet plane loads</i>

23
00:04:00,858 --> 00:04:03,554
<i>of men, women and children.</i>

24
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:04,685
<i>I mean, there's Attila,</i>

25
00:04:04,795 --> 00:04:06,319
<i>Genghis,</i>

26
00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:07,328
<i>and me,</i>

27
00:04:07,431 --> 00:04:08,693
<i>Nick Naylor,</i>

28
00:04:08,799 --> 00:04:09,823
<i>the face of cigarettes...</i>

29
00:04:09,933 --> 00:04:12,697
<i>the Colonel Sanders of nicotine.</i>

30
00:04:12,803 --> 00:04:14,270
<i>This is where I work,</i>

31
00:04:14,371 --> 00:04:16,896
<i>the Academy of Tobacco Studies.</i>

32
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,168
<i>It was established
by seven gentlemen</i>

33
00:04:19,276 --> 00:04:20,868
<i>you may recognize from C-SPAN.</i>

34
00:04:20,978 --> 00:04:23,606
<i>These guys realized quick
if they were going to claim</i>

35
00:04:23,714 --> 00:04:24,806
<i>that cigarettes were not addictive,</i>

36
00:04:24,915 --> 00:04:27,076
<i>they better have proof.</i>

37
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:29,015
<i>This is the man they rely on,</i>

38
00:04:29,119 --> 00:04:31,246
<i>Erhardt Von Grupten Mundt.</i>

39
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,619
<i>They found him in Germany.</i>

40
00:04:33,724 --> 00:04:35,248
<i>I won't go into the details.</i>

41
00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,519
<i>He's been testing the link</i>

42
00:04:36,627 --> 00:04:37,855
<i>between nicotine
and lung cancer</i>

43
00:04:37,961 --> 00:04:41,226
<i>for 30 years and hasn't found
any conclusive results.</i>

44
00:04:41,332 --> 00:04:42,230
<i>The man's a genius.</i>

45
00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:43,994
<i>He could disprove gravity.</i>

46
00:04:44,101 --> 00:04:45,762
<i>Then we've got our sharks.</i>

47
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,632
<i>We draft them out
of Ivy League law schools</i>

48
00:04:47,738 --> 00:04:50,036
<i>and give them time-shares
and sports cars.</i>

49
00:04:50,140 --> 00:04:51,698
<i>It's just like
a John Grisham novel-</i>

50
00:04:51,809 --> 00:04:54,369
<i>you know, without all the espionage.</i>

51
00:04:54,478 --> 00:04:57,709
<i>Most importantly,
we've got spin control.</i>

52
00:04:57,815 --> 00:04:59,646
<i>That's where I come in.</i>

53
00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:01,115
<i>I get paid to talk.</i>

54
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:02,776
<i>I don't have an MD or law degree.</i>

55
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:08,385
<i>I have a bachelor's in
kicking ass and taking names.</i>

56
00:05:08,492 --> 00:05:10,926
<i>You know that guy
who can pick up any girl?</i>

57
00:05:11,028 --> 00:05:12,086
<i>I'm him</i>

58
00:05:12,196 --> 00:05:13,288
<i>on crack.</i>

59
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,591
This is obviously a heated issue

60
00:05:18,702 --> 00:05:21,398
and we do have a lot
that we want to cover today.

61
00:05:22,339 --> 00:05:23,601
Nick, do you have a question?

62
00:05:23,707 --> 00:05:24,799
Joan,

63
00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:28,708
how on earth would
Big Tobacco profit

64
00:05:28,812 --> 00:05:31,246
off of the loss of this young man?

65
00:05:31,348 --> 00:05:33,543
Now, I hate to think
in such callous terms,

66
00:05:33,650 --> 00:05:36,744
but, if anything,
we'd be losing a customer.

67
00:05:36,854 --> 00:05:39,948
It's not only our hope,
it's in our best interest

68
00:05:40,057 --> 00:05:42,287
to keep Robin alive and smoking.

69
00:05:42,393 --> 00:05:44,054
- That's ludicrous.
- Let me tell you something,

70
00:05:44,161 --> 00:05:45,992
Joan, and please,
let me share something

71
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:49,725
with the fine, concerned
people in the audience today.

72
00:05:49,833 --> 00:05:53,394
The Ron Goodes of this world...

73
00:05:53,504 --> 00:05:56,064
want the Robin Willigers to die.

74
00:05:56,173 --> 00:05:57,265
- What?
You know why?

75
00:05:57,374 --> 00:05:58,966
So that their budgets will go up.

76
00:05:59,076 --> 00:06:01,943
This is nothing less than
trafficking in human misery,

77
00:06:02,045 --> 00:06:03,808
and you, sir, ought
to be ashamed of yourself.

78
00:06:03,914 --> 00:06:05,404
I ought to be ashamed of myself?

79
00:06:05,516 --> 00:06:08,644
As a matter of fact,
we're about to launch...

80
00:06:08,752 --> 00:06:11,744
a $50 million campaign

81
00:06:11,855 --> 00:06:16,019
aimed at persuading kids
not to smoke.

82
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,287
Because I think
that we can all agree

83
00:06:18,395 --> 00:06:20,522
that there is nothing
more important

84
00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:21,962
than America's children.

85
00:06:22,065 --> 00:06:23,430
All right, now,
that's something that

86
00:06:23,534 --> 00:06:25,297
we're going to want
to know more about.

87
00:06:25,402 --> 00:06:26,562
but I have to take a short break.

88
00:06:26,670 --> 00:06:28,763
Hang on, a lot more coming.

89
00:06:31,742 --> 00:06:34,677
$50 million?! Are you
out of your fucking mind?!

90
00:06:34,778 --> 00:06:35,676
<i>Everyone has a boss.</i>

91
00:06:35,779 --> 00:06:36,677
<i>BR just happens</i>

92
00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:38,304
<i>to be mine.</i>

93
00:06:38,415 --> 00:06:40,280
<i>He came from the vending
machine world.</i>

94
00:06:40,384 --> 00:06:42,045
<i>This made him tough.</i>

95
00:06:43,420 --> 00:06:46,617
<i>The name BR came
from his tour in Vietnam.</i>

96
00:06:46,723 --> 00:06:49,817
<i>The people who know
its meaning are all dead.</i>

97
00:06:49,927 --> 00:06:51,360
The deal was five million!

98
00:06:51,462 --> 00:06:54,226
$5 million will get you
a couple of subway posters.

99
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,263
It's not going to impress anyone.

100
00:06:55,365 --> 00:06:56,525
That's the idea, Nick.

101
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:57,565
You'll be thanking me soon.

102
00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:58,828
This'll probably get you great press.

103
00:06:58,936 --> 00:07:01,302
I gotta call the captain
and see if this is gonna fly.

104
00:07:01,405 --> 00:07:03,498
Get your ass back to D.C.

105
00:07:17,321 --> 00:07:19,289
Thank you so much for coming.

106
00:07:21,124 --> 00:07:22,022
Mr. Naylor?

107
00:07:22,125 --> 00:07:23,114
It's your turn.

108
00:07:23,227 --> 00:07:25,559
Ah.

109
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:27,721
Joey is such a bright young man.

110
00:07:27,831 --> 00:07:28,798
We all look forward

111
00:07:28,899 --> 00:07:30,662
to his coming out
of his shell a little.

112
00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:31,995
He's a bit shy.

113
00:07:32,102 --> 00:07:33,899
Yeah, he gets that from his mother.

114
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,810
Hey, Joey.

115
00:07:45,916 --> 00:07:48,282
Please don't ruin my childhood.

116
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,444
Come on, Joey. Trust me.

117
00:07:58,362 --> 00:08:01,422
How many of you want to be
lawyers when you grow up?

118
00:08:01,532 --> 00:08:02,521
Right.

119
00:08:02,633 --> 00:08:04,123
How about...

120
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,963
movie stars?

121
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,530
How about lobbyists?

122
00:08:08,639 --> 00:08:09,571
What's that?

123
00:08:09,673 --> 00:08:11,607
It's kind of like being a movie star.

124
00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,471
It's what I do.
I talk for a living.

125
00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:14,737
What do you talk about?

126
00:08:14,845 --> 00:08:16,904
I speak on behalf of cigarettes.

127
00:08:17,014 --> 00:08:18,242
My mom used to smoke.

128
00:08:18,348 --> 00:08:20,976
She says that cigarettes kill.

129
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,484
Really? Now, is your mommy a doctor?

130
00:08:23,587 --> 00:08:24,485
No.

131
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,317
A scientific researcher of some kind?

132
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:27,651
No.

133
00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:28,690
Well, she doesn't exactly sound

134
00:08:28,792 --> 00:08:30,191
like a credible expert,
now, does she?

135
00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:32,626
Don't feel bad.

136
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:34,629
It's okay to listen to your mom.

137
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:37,097
I mean, it's good to listen
to your parents... Joey.

138
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,498
All I'm suggesting

139
00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:42,003
is that there will always
be people trying to tell you

140
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,266
what to do and what to think.

141
00:08:44,374 --> 00:08:45,739
There probably already are
people doing that.

142
00:08:45,842 --> 00:08:46,740
Am I right?

143
00:08:46,843 --> 00:08:47,775
Yes.

144
00:08:47,878 --> 00:08:49,641
I'm here to say

145
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:53,182
that when someone tries to act
like some sort of an expert,

146
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:56,775
you can respond, "Who says?"

147
00:08:56,887 --> 00:08:58,582
<i>So, cigarettes are good for you?</i>

148
00:08:58,689 --> 00:09:00,589
- No!
- No, that's not...

149
00:09:00,691 --> 00:09:01,851
That's not what I'm getting at.

150
00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:04,291
My point is that you have
to think for yourself.

151
00:09:04,394 --> 00:09:06,123
You have to challenge authority.

152
00:09:06,229 --> 00:09:08,493
If your parents told you
that chocolate was dangerous,

153
00:09:08,599 --> 00:09:10,123
would you just take their word for it?

154
00:09:10,233 --> 00:09:11,325
No.

155
00:09:11,435 --> 00:09:12,424
Exactly.

156
00:09:12,536 --> 00:09:14,367
So perhaps instead of acting
like sheep

157
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:15,438
when it comes to cigarettes,

158
00:09:15,539 --> 00:09:16,972
you should find out for yourself.

159
00:09:17,074 --> 00:09:18,200
Okay, then.

160
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,674
Thank you, Mr. Naylor,
for joining us.

161
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:32,713
<i>Every week we meet here at Bert's.</i>

162
00:09:32,823 --> 00:09:34,814
<i>Together, we represent
the chief spokespeople</i>

163
00:09:34,925 --> 00:09:37,894
<i>for the tobacco, alcohol and
firearms industries.</i>

164
00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:39,121
<i>We call ourselves the MOD Squad.</i>

165
00:09:39,229 --> 00:09:40,127
All right.

166
00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:42,892
<i>M-O-D, Merchants of Death.</i>

167
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,160
So, my day's ruined.

168
00:09:44,267 --> 00:09:45,165
Why?

169
00:09:45,268 --> 00:09:46,496
<i>Dateline's doing a segment</i>

170
00:09:46,603 --> 00:09:48,195
on fetal alcohol syndrome.
Thank you.

171
00:09:48,305 --> 00:09:50,239
<i>Polly works
for the Moderation Council.</i>

172
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,638
<i>A casual drinker
by the age of 14,</i>

173
00:09:52,743 --> 00:09:54,005
<i>Polly quickly developed</i>

174
00:09:54,111 --> 00:09:57,512
<i>a tolerance usually reserved
for Irish dockworkers.</i>

175
00:09:57,614 --> 00:09:59,445
<i>In our world, she's the woman</i>

176
00:09:59,549 --> 00:10:01,710
<i>that got the pope
to endorse red wine.</i>

177
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:05,620
We're gonna get creamed.

178
00:10:05,722 --> 00:10:06,984
Any ideas?

179
00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:08,387
I don't know.

180
00:10:08,492 --> 00:10:10,824
Deformed kids are tough.

181
00:10:10,927 --> 00:10:13,191
I'm lucky my product only makes
them bald before it kills them.

182
00:10:13,296 --> 00:10:15,196
You could hug the kids.

183
00:10:15,298 --> 00:10:17,266
They're not going
to let me hug the kids.

184
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,925
Who's doing the segment,
Donaldson or Sawyer?

185
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:19,934
Sawyer, probably.

186
00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:20,935
You're fucked.

187
00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:21,936
Why?

188
00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:23,165
Cause she's gonna hug them.

189
00:10:23,273 --> 00:10:25,468
Look, if you see her going in
for a hug,

190
00:10:25,575 --> 00:10:28,408
maybe just box her out,
get in there before she does.

191
00:10:28,512 --> 00:10:30,104
<i>BobbyJay works for SAFETY,</i>

192
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:32,443
<i>- the Society for the Advancement of Firearms</i>

193
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,346
<i>and Effective Training for Youth.</i>

194
00:10:34,451 --> 00:10:36,749
You want me to smile?

195
00:10:38,522 --> 00:10:40,922
<i>After watching the footage
of the Kent State shootings,</i>

196
00:10:41,024 --> 00:10:43,857
<i>BobbyJay, then 17, signed up
for the National Guard</i>

197
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,053
<i>so he, too, could shoot
college students.</i>

198
00:10:46,163 --> 00:10:48,631
<i>But the National Guard
recruiter was out to lunch,</i>

199
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:51,895
<i>so BobbyJay ended up
shooting Panamanians instead,</i>

200
00:10:52,002 --> 00:10:53,663
<i>which was almost as good
as college students.</i>

201
00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:56,702
<i>Only they shoot back.</i>

202
00:10:56,807 --> 00:10:58,468
You know, you can beat
a Breathalyzer

203
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:01,567
- by sucking on activated charcoal tablets?
- Really?

204
00:11:01,678 --> 00:11:03,236
Maybe we should change
our campaign to

205
00:11:03,346 --> 00:11:05,314
"If You Must Drink and Drive,
Suck Charcoal."

206
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:06,473
Yeah, but don't the police wonder

207
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:07,481
why you're sucking on charcoal?

208
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:09,381
There's no law against charcoal.

209
00:11:09,486 --> 00:11:10,976
- Yet.
- Yet.

210
00:11:15,859 --> 00:11:18,851
Dad, why is the American
government the best government?

211
00:11:18,962 --> 00:11:20,486
Because of our
endless appeals system.

212
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,125
Joe, you're not writing down
what I just said are you?

213
00:11:26,236 --> 00:11:27,396
Mm-hmm.

214
00:11:27,504 --> 00:11:29,495
Joey, stop for a second.

215
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,096
What is the subject of your essay?

216
00:11:31,208 --> 00:11:34,006
Why is American government
the best government in the world.

217
00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:35,738
Your teacher crafted that question?

218
00:11:35,846 --> 00:11:37,609
Yeah. Why?

219
00:11:37,714 --> 00:11:40,512
Well... I'll look past
the obvious problems

220
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:41,914
in syntax for a moment,

221
00:11:42,018 --> 00:11:44,111
and I'll focus more on the core
of the question.

222
00:11:44,221 --> 00:11:45,415
I mean, "A,"

223
00:11:45,522 --> 00:11:48,150
does America have
the best government in the world?

224
00:11:48,258 --> 00:11:49,919
And "B," what constitutes
a "best government"?

225
00:11:50,026 --> 00:11:52,460
Is it crime, is it poverty, literacy?

226
00:11:52,562 --> 00:11:53,995
Hmm?

227
00:11:54,097 --> 00:11:55,029
And America- definitely not best.

228
00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,326
Perhaps not even better than most.

229
00:11:56,433 --> 00:11:57,798
We do have a very
entertaining government...

230
00:11:57,901 --> 00:11:59,198
Dad.

231
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:01,133
I'm sorry.

232
00:12:02,439 --> 00:12:04,873
Are you familiar with the term "B.S."?

233
00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:06,533
Bullshit.

234
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:07,905
Yes, exactly.

235
00:12:08,011 --> 00:12:10,912
B.S., if I may, is what
questions like the one

236
00:12:11,014 --> 00:12:12,914
your teacher posed are made for.

237
00:12:13,016 --> 00:12:14,950
Because even if America
had the best government,

238
00:12:15,051 --> 00:12:16,575
there'd be no way to prove it.

239
00:12:16,686 --> 00:12:18,017
And how many pages are you writing?

240
00:12:18,121 --> 00:12:19,019
Two pages.

241
00:12:19,122 --> 00:12:20,714
Two pages...

242
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,382
Definitely not in two pages.

243
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,653
So what am I supposed to write?

244
00:12:24,761 --> 00:12:26,456
You can write whatever you want.

245
00:12:26,563 --> 00:12:27,962
Okay.

246
00:12:28,064 --> 00:12:29,053
Write about...

247
00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:31,566
write about America's
amazing ability

248
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:34,660
to make profit by breaking down
trading tariffs

249
00:12:34,771 --> 00:12:37,137
and bringing American jobs
to Third World countries.

250
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,174
Or how good we are
at executing felons.

251
00:12:39,276 --> 00:12:40,903
They're all correct answers.

252
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,979
I can do that?

253
00:12:43,079 --> 00:12:44,603
See, Joey, that's the beauty
of argument.

254
00:12:44,714 --> 00:12:47,114
'Cause if you argue correctly,
you're never wrong.

255
00:12:54,825 --> 00:12:57,726
Dad, if I finish
this essay within an hour,

256
00:12:57,828 --> 00:12:59,591
can we stay up all night?

257
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:04,360
That's a negotiation,
not an argument.

258
00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:07,197
Well, Conway, see you made it.

259
00:13:07,304 --> 00:13:09,329
Yeah, I guess that little
voice was wrong.

260
00:13:09,439 --> 00:13:10,531
I feel better.

261
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:11,800
I feel a lot better, too.

262
00:13:11,908 --> 00:13:14,468
As a matter of fact, I never
felt so good in my life.

263
00:13:14,578 --> 00:13:16,170
How about a cigarette?

264
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,121
Is he...?

265
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,323
Yeah.

266
00:13:37,434 --> 00:13:40,870
Hey.

267
00:13:40,971 --> 00:13:44,407
Nick, you still own a watch, don't you?

268
00:13:44,507 --> 00:13:45,701
Jill, I can't help feeling

269
00:13:45,809 --> 00:13:47,333
Joey's getting the wrong idea
about his dad.

270
00:13:47,444 --> 00:13:48,968
It would be great if I could spend

271
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:50,603
a little more time with him,
you know?

272
00:13:50,714 --> 00:13:54,206
To give him a fair
and balanced perspective.

273
00:13:54,317 --> 00:13:56,182
Nick, you had plenty
of time for that.

274
00:13:56,286 --> 00:13:57,753
Now you're his weekend guardian.

275
00:13:57,854 --> 00:13:59,879
Besides, he has Brad.

276
00:13:59,990 --> 00:14:01,082
He still needs his father.

277
00:14:01,191 --> 00:14:03,386
Nick.

278
00:14:03,493 --> 00:14:04,585
You have a second?

279
00:14:06,296 --> 00:14:07,627
Sure, Brad.

280
00:14:07,731 --> 00:14:11,497
Nick, your job
and everything aside,

281
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,535
I hope you understand
that secondhand smoke's

282
00:14:13,637 --> 00:14:15,332
a real killer.

283
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,303
What are you talking about?

284
00:14:17,407 --> 00:14:19,034
I just hope you're providing

285
00:14:19,142 --> 00:14:21,702
a smoke-free environment
for Joey, that's all I'm saying.

286
00:14:21,811 --> 00:14:24,006
Brad, I'm his father.

287
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:26,446
You're the guy fucking his mom.

288
00:14:28,852 --> 00:14:31,150
That was unnecessary.

289
00:14:31,321 --> 00:14:34,757
Thank you all.
Thank you all for coming.

290
00:14:34,858 --> 00:14:37,326
Tobacco is winning the war.

291
00:14:37,427 --> 00:14:40,624
The war against our children.

292
00:14:40,730 --> 00:14:44,029
They like to use cartoons
and symbols to hook our kids.

293
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:47,001
Well, now we have
a symbol of our own.

294
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:49,298
Doctor.

295
00:14:49,406 --> 00:14:52,170
It is my hope that
within the year

296
00:14:52,275 --> 00:14:53,970
every cigarette package

297
00:14:54,077 --> 00:14:57,103
sold in America
will carry this symbol.

298
00:14:57,213 --> 00:14:59,443
Perhaps then, cigarettes
will finally be labeled

299
00:14:59,549 --> 00:15:02,643
appropriately as poison.

300
00:15:02,752 --> 00:15:04,617
I will be holding
a congressional hearing

301
00:15:04,721 --> 00:15:07,451
to discuss the inclusion
of the skull and crossbones

302
00:15:07,557 --> 00:15:09,024
in the next two weeks.

303
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,524
As usual, I extend
an open invitation

304
00:15:10,627 --> 00:15:13,118
to big tobacco.

305
00:15:13,229 --> 00:15:17,222
Perhaps this time they will
grace us with their presence.

306
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,631
And their answers.

307
00:15:18,735 --> 00:15:20,134
Thank you very much.

308
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:28,277
People, what is going on out there?

309
00:15:28,378 --> 00:15:32,007
I look down this table,
all I see are white flags.

310
00:15:32,115 --> 00:15:34,743
Our numbers are down
all across the board.

311
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:36,716
Teen smoking-
our bread and butter,

312
00:15:36,820 --> 00:15:38,549
is falling like a shit from heaven.

313
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,351
We don't sell Tic Tacs,
for Christ's sake.

314
00:15:42,459 --> 00:15:44,120
We sell cigarettes.

315
00:15:44,227 --> 00:15:48,163
And they're cool and available
and addictive.

316
00:15:48,264 --> 00:15:49,891
The job is almost done for us.

317
00:15:51,668 --> 00:15:56,571
This environmentalist
is challenging us.

318
00:15:56,673 --> 00:15:59,233
We have to have an answer.

319
00:15:59,342 --> 00:16:01,037
I'm asking you,

320
00:16:01,144 --> 00:16:02,975
when this cocksucker puts
Captain Hook on our products,

321
00:16:03,079 --> 00:16:04,603
what the fuck are we going to do?

322
00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:07,274
- BR.
- Yeah, Nick.

323
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:08,578
If I may.

324
00:16:08,685 --> 00:16:11,119
In 1910,

325
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,712
the U.S. was producing
ten billion cigarettes a year.

326
00:16:13,823 --> 00:16:14,949
By 1930,

327
00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:17,026
we were up to 123 billion.

328
00:16:17,127 --> 00:16:19,095
What happened in between?

329
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,856
Three things.

330
00:16:20,964 --> 00:16:21,931
A world war,

331
00:16:22,032 --> 00:16:25,900
dieting... and movies.

332
00:16:26,002 --> 00:16:27,230
Movies?

333
00:16:27,337 --> 00:16:30,363
1927-talking pictures are born.

334
00:16:30,473 --> 00:16:32,703
Suddenly, directors need to give
their actors

335
00:16:32,809 --> 00:16:34,743
something to do
while they're talking.

336
00:16:34,844 --> 00:16:37,540
Cary Grant, Carole Lombard
are lighting up.

337
00:16:37,647 --> 00:16:39,114
Bette Davis- a chimney.

338
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:40,512
And Bogart-
remember the first picture

339
00:16:40,617 --> 00:16:41,675
with him and Lauren Bacall?

340
00:16:41,785 --> 00:16:44,253
Well, yea... not specifically.

341
00:16:44,354 --> 00:16:45,616
Oh, she sort

342
00:16:45,722 --> 00:16:47,815
of shimmies in
through the doorway,

343
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:50,017
19 years old.

344
00:16:50,126 --> 00:16:51,593
Pure sex.

345
00:16:51,694 --> 00:16:52,592
She says,

346
00:16:52,695 --> 00:16:54,925
"Anyone got a match?"

347
00:16:55,031 --> 00:16:56,726
And Bogie throws
the matches at her...

348
00:16:58,234 --> 00:17:00,134
and she catches them.

349
00:17:00,236 --> 00:17:03,797
Greatest romance of the century.

350
00:17:03,907 --> 00:17:06,068
How'd it start?
Lighting a cigarette.

351
00:17:06,176 --> 00:17:08,644
These days when someone
smokes in the movies,

352
00:17:08,745 --> 00:17:11,976
they're either a psychopath
or a European.

353
00:17:12,082 --> 00:17:13,982
The message Hollywood
needs to send out

354
00:17:14,084 --> 00:17:16,052
is smoking is cool.

355
00:17:16,152 --> 00:17:18,450
<i>We need the cast of Will and Grace</i>

356
00:17:18,555 --> 00:17:19,920
smoking in their living room.

357
00:17:20,023 --> 00:17:22,253
Forrest Gump puffing away
between his box of chocolates.

358
00:17:22,358 --> 00:17:25,759
Hugh Grant earning back
the love of Julia Roberts

359
00:17:25,862 --> 00:17:30,162
by buying her favorite brand-
her Virginia Slims.

360
00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:33,793
Most of the actors smoke already.

361
00:17:33,903 --> 00:17:36,133
If they start doing it on-screen,

362
00:17:36,239 --> 00:17:38,935
we can put the sex
back into cigarettes.

363
00:17:39,042 --> 00:17:41,602
Well, it's a thought.

364
00:17:41,711 --> 00:17:43,508
I was hoping for something
a little more inspiring,

365
00:17:43,613 --> 00:17:44,637
but at least you're thinking.

366
00:17:44,747 --> 00:17:46,112
Rest of you people,
slam your fucking brains

367
00:17:46,216 --> 00:17:47,114
against your desks

368
00:17:47,217 --> 00:17:49,811
until something useful comes out.

369
00:17:49,919 --> 00:17:51,819
That was awesome.

370
00:17:51,921 --> 00:17:52,945
Thank you.

371
00:17:53,056 --> 00:17:55,047
Nick, you've been summoned.

372
00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:56,147
Captain wants to see you.

373
00:17:56,259 --> 00:17:57,590
<i>He saw the Joan show.</i>

374
00:17:57,694 --> 00:17:58,786
What'd he think?

375
00:17:58,895 --> 00:18:00,692
Get your ass on the next flight
to Winston-Salem.

376
00:18:04,234 --> 00:18:06,168
<i>Most people have this image
in their heads</i>

377
00:18:06,269 --> 00:18:08,362
<i>of tobacco executives
jet-setting around the world</i>

378
00:18:08,471 --> 00:18:10,666
<i>on private planes,
eating foie gras</i>

379
00:18:10,773 --> 00:18:12,138
<i>as they count their money.</i>

380
00:18:12,242 --> 00:18:14,369
<i>Not me.</i>

381
00:18:14,477 --> 00:18:16,775
<i>I like to ride with the people.</i>

382
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,404
<i>Know your clients.</i>

383
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:20,710
<i>My people cram themselves
into a tiny seat,</i>

384
00:18:20,817 --> 00:18:22,682
<i>pop a Xanax and dream
of the moment</i>

385
00:18:22,785 --> 00:18:25,720
<i>they can stuff their face
with fresh tobacco.</i>

386
00:18:25,822 --> 00:18:28,586
<i>If I can convince just one of
these kids to pick up smoking,</i>

387
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,955
<i>I've paid for my flight-round-trip.</i>

388
00:18:39,402 --> 00:18:43,202
<i>The Captain is the last great
man of tobacco.</i>

389
00:18:43,306 --> 00:18:45,035
<i>He introduced filters</i>

390
00:18:45,141 --> 00:18:48,599
<i>when cigarettes first got
slammed by Reader's Digest.</i>

391
00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:53,080
<i>Later, he founded
the Academy of Tobacco Studies.</i>

392
00:18:53,183 --> 00:18:56,050
<i>The club was founded
by the tobacco barons in 1890</i>

393
00:18:56,152 --> 00:18:59,588
<i>so they'd have a place
to get away from their wives.</i>

394
00:19:02,025 --> 00:19:05,552
<i>Here, the Captain is a legend-</i>

395
00:19:05,662 --> 00:19:07,994
<i>a self-made man who started
from nothing,</i>

396
00:19:08,097 --> 00:19:10,895
<i>and ended up with everything...</i>

397
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,197
<i>except, evidently, a son.</i>

398
00:19:14,304 --> 00:19:16,534
Nick, my boy.

399
00:19:16,639 --> 00:19:19,733
You're just in time for mud.

400
00:19:19,842 --> 00:19:21,434
Thank you.

401
00:19:21,544 --> 00:19:23,239
Sit down there. Yeah.

402
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:27,777
Yeah.

403
00:19:27,884 --> 00:19:29,875
You know the secret
to a really good julep?

404
00:19:29,986 --> 00:19:31,681
No, sir.

405
00:19:31,788 --> 00:19:34,154
Well, you crush the mint

406
00:19:34,257 --> 00:19:37,351
down onto the ice with your thumb

407
00:19:37,460 --> 00:19:39,894
and you grind it in, see?

408
00:19:39,996 --> 00:19:42,624
And it releases the menthol.

409
00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:45,223
Hmm.

410
00:19:45,335 --> 00:19:46,734
Now you know who taught me that?

411
00:19:46,836 --> 00:19:47,768
No, sir. Who?

412
00:19:47,870 --> 00:19:49,667
Fidel Castro.

413
00:19:54,143 --> 00:19:56,236
Do you remember 1952?

414
00:19:56,346 --> 00:19:59,577
Well, sir, I wasn't alive in 1952.

415
00:19:59,682 --> 00:20:04,415
Good Lord, I was in Korea
shooting Chinese in 1952.

416
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,681
Really?

417
00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:09,053
Today they're our best customer.

418
00:20:09,158 --> 00:20:11,786
Next time we won't have to shoot
so many of them, will we?

419
00:20:11,894 --> 00:20:13,623
No, sir.

420
00:20:13,730 --> 00:20:17,723
<i>1952 was the year
Reader's Digest</i>

421
00:20:17,834 --> 00:20:20,701
nailed us with
the whole health aspect.

422
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:23,294
As Churchill said,

423
00:20:23,406 --> 00:20:25,670
that was perhaps the end
of our beginning.

424
00:20:25,775 --> 00:20:29,108
Tell me,

425
00:20:29,212 --> 00:20:31,146
do you enjoy your current work, Nick?

426
00:20:31,247 --> 00:20:32,214
Yes, sir.

427
00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,748
It's challenging...

428
00:20:33,850 --> 00:20:37,445
If you can do tobacco,
you can do anything.

429
00:20:37,553 --> 00:20:40,386
Yes, sir, I like that.

430
00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:42,890
You know, Nick, you remind me

431
00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:45,222
just a little bit
of myself when I was your age.

432
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:47,956
Well, thank you, sir.

433
00:20:48,064 --> 00:20:49,895
Like that Joan Lunden show you did.

434
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:52,263
You could have given up,
cried, apologized,

435
00:20:52,368 --> 00:20:53,357
but you didn't.

436
00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:55,403
You stayed loyal.

437
00:20:55,505 --> 00:21:00,374
And you gave it
to that son of a bitch good.

438
00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:03,036
My pleasure.

439
00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:09,345
Now, BR's come under the idea

440
00:21:09,452 --> 00:21:12,216
that we should start bribing
producers in Hollywood

441
00:21:12,322 --> 00:21:15,985
to make the actors smoke on screen.

442
00:21:16,092 --> 00:21:19,084
You know, like in the old days.

443
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:21,459
Say, that's, uh...

444
00:21:21,564 --> 00:21:23,828
that's a great idea.

445
00:21:23,933 --> 00:21:25,366
Mm-hmm.

446
00:21:25,468 --> 00:21:26,992
Smart man, that BR.

447
00:21:27,103 --> 00:21:28,627
Oh, yeah, yeah.

448
00:21:28,738 --> 00:21:30,262
And loyal.

449
00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:50,824
Yes, sir?

450
00:21:50,927 --> 00:21:52,792
Have a seat, Ron.

451
00:22:03,539 --> 00:22:07,942
You, see, Ron, I can't be
everywhere I'm needed.

452
00:22:08,044 --> 00:22:09,944
That's why I send
people like you

453
00:22:10,046 --> 00:22:11,377
to speak on my behalf.

454
00:22:11,481 --> 00:22:15,144
When you're there,
you're not Ron Goode,

455
00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:17,219
the guy your friends probably like,

456
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,880
you're Senator Finistirre's aide,

457
00:22:19,989 --> 00:22:23,254
and your name really doesn't matter.

458
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:25,259
So, when

459
00:22:25,361 --> 00:22:28,057
Ron Goode acts
like a complete asshole

460
00:22:28,164 --> 00:22:30,860
<i>on the Joan Lunden Show,</i>

461
00:22:30,967 --> 00:22:34,061
<i>I am being an asshole
on the Joan Lunden Show.</i>

462
00:22:34,170 --> 00:22:35,831
Senator, sir, he sprang on me like...

463
00:22:35,938 --> 00:22:39,135
Where in the hell
did you find cancer boy?

464
00:22:39,242 --> 00:22:41,676
He was supposed to be quite reliable.

465
00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:44,611
The Pulmonary Council
was one of his references.

466
00:22:44,714 --> 00:22:46,409
Fucking nonprofits.

467
00:22:50,153 --> 00:22:52,883
When you're looking
for a cancer kid,

468
00:22:52,989 --> 00:22:54,286
he should be hopeless.

469
00:22:54,390 --> 00:22:55,948
He should have a wheelchair.

470
00:22:56,058 --> 00:22:58,219
He should have trouble talking.

471
00:22:58,327 --> 00:23:01,057
He should have
a little pet goldfish

472
00:23:01,164 --> 00:23:02,756
he carries around
in a ziplock bag-

473
00:23:02,865 --> 00:23:03,923
hopeless.

474
00:23:04,033 --> 00:23:06,297
I apologize, sir, but if it wasn't

475
00:23:06,402 --> 00:23:07,733
- for Nick Naylor...
- Nick Naylor?

476
00:23:09,639 --> 00:23:14,008
Don't you even think
of using him as an excuse.

477
00:23:14,110 --> 00:23:16,101
The man shills bullshit for a living.

478
00:23:16,212 --> 00:23:18,180
You work for a fucking senator.

479
00:23:18,281 --> 00:23:20,545
A senator who is supposed
to be tough on tobacco.

480
00:23:20,650 --> 00:23:23,517
Have a little... pride,
for God's sake.

481
00:23:23,619 --> 00:23:27,851
It won't happen again, sir,
I promise.

482
00:23:30,493 --> 00:23:34,020
All right, you're excused.

483
00:23:39,902 --> 00:23:41,233
<i>Sometimes I feel like</i>

484
00:23:41,337 --> 00:23:44,033
a Colombian drug dealer.

485
00:23:45,842 --> 00:23:50,404
The other day, my own granddaughter,
flesh of flesh of my own loins,

486
00:23:50,513 --> 00:23:53,880
asked me, "Granddaddy, is it true

487
00:23:53,983 --> 00:23:56,850
cigarettes are bad for you?"

488
00:23:59,255 --> 00:24:01,815
We got to do something, Nick.

489
00:24:01,924 --> 00:24:03,186
I think you're our man.

490
00:24:03,292 --> 00:24:05,021
Thank you, sir.

491
00:24:05,127 --> 00:24:07,391
I want you to work
on this Hollywood project.

492
00:24:07,497 --> 00:24:09,988
Get out there the next
few weeks, stir things up

493
00:24:10,099 --> 00:24:14,035
and report directly to me.

494
00:24:14,136 --> 00:24:15,194
Sir, about the,

495
00:24:15,304 --> 00:24:18,364
the $50 million.

496
00:24:18,474 --> 00:24:21,375
Anti teen-smoking advertising.

497
00:24:21,477 --> 00:24:24,969
Well, shit, I sure hope
it's not too persuasive.

498
00:24:26,649 --> 00:24:27,775
I hope.

499
00:24:39,295 --> 00:24:40,227
Nick,

500
00:24:40,329 --> 00:24:42,194
you're family now.

501
00:24:42,298 --> 00:24:44,926
Tobacco takes care of its own, eh?

502
00:24:45,034 --> 00:24:46,968
Thank you, sir.

503
00:24:59,882 --> 00:25:00,814
Mr. Naylor?

504
00:25:00,917 --> 00:25:01,906
Hi.

505
00:25:02,018 --> 00:25:03,451
Hi. Welcome to Tobacco One.

506
00:25:03,553 --> 00:25:04,815
Thank you.

507
00:25:04,921 --> 00:25:07,549
The captain told me to take
extra special care of you today.

508
00:25:07,657 --> 00:25:10,091
So if there is anything
at all I can do

509
00:25:10,192 --> 00:25:11,454
to make your flight
more pleasant,

510
00:25:11,561 --> 00:25:14,826
you be sure and let me know now.

511
00:25:27,009 --> 00:25:28,101
BR.

512
00:25:28,210 --> 00:25:29,108
Pleasant flight?

513
00:25:29,211 --> 00:25:31,304
Oh! You could say that.

514
00:25:31,414 --> 00:25:33,177
Came up on the Captain's plane.

515
00:25:33,282 --> 00:25:35,182
Oh, it's quite the way to travel.

516
00:25:35,284 --> 00:25:37,149
I wouldn't know.

517
00:25:37,253 --> 00:25:38,515
No? You never been on Tobacco One

518
00:25:38,621 --> 00:25:41,852
with those seats, that kitchen,

519
00:25:41,958 --> 00:25:43,619
that stewardess, Tiffany?

520
00:25:43,726 --> 00:25:45,751
Haven't had the chance yet.

521
00:25:45,861 --> 00:25:47,158
Oh, well, you really must try it.

522
00:25:47,263 --> 00:25:49,322
It's the only way to travel.

523
00:25:49,432 --> 00:25:52,663
What'd he think of your $50 million
anti-smoking campaign?

524
00:25:52,768 --> 00:25:54,702
Oh, the $50 million
anti teen-smoking campaign?

525
00:25:54,804 --> 00:25:55,702
Yeah.

526
00:25:55,805 --> 00:25:56,965
Yeah, he gave that the go-ahead.

527
00:25:57,073 --> 00:25:58,233
Oh, and he loved your idea

528
00:25:58,341 --> 00:25:59,638
to put cigarettes back into movies.

529
00:25:59,742 --> 00:26:02,302
- That was your idea.
- Oh, yeah?

530
00:26:02,411 --> 00:26:04,538
- He must have gotten confused.
- Hmm.

531
00:26:04,647 --> 00:26:09,050
Yeah. Well, either way,
he was pretty blown away.

532
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,813
Right. Well, get a flight to L.A.

533
00:26:11,921 --> 00:26:13,013
I'll get you a meeting
with Jeff Megall.

534
00:26:13,122 --> 00:26:14,146
Who?

535
00:26:14,256 --> 00:26:15,518
Hollywood super agent.

536
00:26:15,625 --> 00:26:19,288
Runs the agency EGO:
Entertainment Global Offices.

537
00:26:19,395 --> 00:26:20,953
<i>This guy is the entertainment business.</i>

538
00:26:21,063 --> 00:26:23,327
And you are cigarettes, BR.

539
00:26:23,432 --> 00:26:25,297
Whatever.

540
00:26:26,902 --> 00:26:29,029
Yeah, but it's not a vacation,
it's a learning experience.

541
00:26:29,138 --> 00:26:31,197
And California is one
of the fastest-growing

542
00:26:31,307 --> 00:26:32,501
states, it's got

543
00:26:32,608 --> 00:26:34,303
the largest number of electoral
votes in the country.

544
00:26:34,410 --> 00:26:37,208
I mean, this could be
a very good trip for Joey.

545
00:26:37,313 --> 00:26:38,644
You know what?
Don't smooth-talk me.

546
00:26:38,748 --> 00:26:39,737
You're not going to
take him sightseeing.

547
00:26:39,849 --> 00:26:40,907
You're probably going

548
00:26:41,017 --> 00:26:43,008
to take him
to some lung cancer symposium

549
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:45,053
where a guy with an electronic
voice box will tell him

550
00:26:45,154 --> 00:26:46,314
that his father is the devil.

551
00:26:46,422 --> 00:26:47,582
That's unfair.

552
00:26:47,690 --> 00:26:48,987
Unfair? What about Virginia?

553
00:26:49,091 --> 00:26:50,456
And what about Virginia?

554
00:26:50,559 --> 00:26:52,322
You took him to a cigarette factory.

555
00:26:52,428 --> 00:26:54,293
No, I took him to a tobacco farm.

556
00:26:54,397 --> 00:26:55,591
That's hardly the same thing.

557
00:26:55,698 --> 00:26:57,689
This conversation's over.

558
00:27:01,637 --> 00:27:03,662
Oh, fuck.

559
00:27:03,839 --> 00:27:06,501
Last week we had another
disgruntled postman.

560
00:27:06,609 --> 00:27:07,598
Of course,

561
00:27:07,710 --> 00:27:08,870
<i>an hour later the Washington Post</i>

562
00:27:08,978 --> 00:27:11,776
is calling me on the phone-
godless swine.

563
00:27:11,881 --> 00:27:13,405
I said to 'em, I says,

564
00:27:13,516 --> 00:27:17,543
"Now if a plane crashes
on account of pilot error,

565
00:27:17,653 --> 00:27:19,018
do you blame the Boeing Corporation?"

566
00:27:19,121 --> 00:27:20,110
Nice.

567
00:27:20,222 --> 00:27:21,587
- That's a good one.
- Thank you.

568
00:27:21,691 --> 00:27:24,251
If some booze-besotten drunk
runs someone down,

569
00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:26,294
do you go banging on the doors
at General Motors?

570
00:27:26,395 --> 00:27:27,726
Tell me you didn't say that.

571
00:27:27,830 --> 00:27:29,195
Mm-hmm.

572
00:27:29,298 --> 00:27:31,289
Have either of you heard of a
reporter named Heather Holloway?

573
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,563
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Irish type.

574
00:27:34,670 --> 00:27:36,035
Brown hair, big blue eyes.

575
00:27:36,138 --> 00:27:37,230
Nice skin.

576
00:27:37,339 --> 00:27:38,363
Amazing tits.

577
00:27:38,474 --> 00:27:41,238
Tits? Why are tits relevant?

578
00:27:41,343 --> 00:27:42,674
Hmm, let's see.

579
00:27:42,778 --> 00:27:45,542
World-class tits on a reporter
interviewing a man

580
00:27:45,648 --> 00:27:48,481
with privileged information
are relevant.

581
00:27:48,584 --> 00:27:50,575
How about it, Nick?
Are you a tit man?

582
00:27:50,686 --> 00:27:52,483
Don't answer that.
That's a trap.

583
00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:55,386
Depends whose tits.

584
00:27:55,491 --> 00:27:57,288
Look, just don't get screwed,
all right?

585
00:27:57,393 --> 00:28:00,362
Bobby, I think I can handle
a good-looking girl reporter.

586
00:28:00,463 --> 00:28:02,090
Thank you.

587
00:28:11,307 --> 00:28:12,331
Heather Holloway.

588
00:28:12,441 --> 00:28:14,170
Nick Naylor, big tobacco.

589
00:28:15,878 --> 00:28:18,073
Is this kosher?

590
00:28:18,180 --> 00:28:20,114
Only if I can call you "Heather."

591
00:28:20,216 --> 00:28:22,480
By all means.

592
00:28:25,087 --> 00:28:26,076
So, Mr. Naylor...

593
00:28:26,188 --> 00:28:28,281
- Nick.
- Nick.

594
00:28:28,390 --> 00:28:30,415
Let's start with...

595
00:28:30,526 --> 00:28:31,857
An '82 Margaux.

596
00:28:31,961 --> 00:28:33,986
Okay. Is it good?

597
00:28:34,096 --> 00:28:37,532
Good? It'll make you believe in God.

598
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,771
So what is the focus of your piece?

599
00:28:53,883 --> 00:28:55,714
- You.
- Really?

600
00:28:55,818 --> 00:28:57,649
You want to know how I live
with myself.

601
00:28:57,753 --> 00:29:01,484
No. I don't imagine
that's much of a problem.

602
00:29:01,590 --> 00:29:03,820
I want to know how you see yourself.

603
00:29:03,926 --> 00:29:05,120
I'm...

604
00:29:05,227 --> 00:29:07,991
a mediator between two sects
of society

605
00:29:08,097 --> 00:29:09,792
that are trying
to reach an accommodation.

606
00:29:09,899 --> 00:29:11,764
Interesting.

607
00:29:11,867 --> 00:29:15,530
My other interviews have pinned
you as a mass murderer,

608
00:29:15,638 --> 00:29:18,698
bloodsucker, pimp,
profiteer, child killer,

609
00:29:18,808 --> 00:29:22,073
and my personal favorite
"yuppie Mephistopheles."

610
00:29:22,178 --> 00:29:25,306
Wow, that sounds
like a balanced article.

611
00:29:25,414 --> 00:29:27,473
Who else should I talk to?

612
00:29:27,583 --> 00:29:29,710
55 million American smokers,
for starters

613
00:29:29,819 --> 00:29:32,686
or perhaps
the American tobacco farmer

614
00:29:32,788 --> 00:29:34,915
who is constantly being treated
like a drug smuggler.

615
00:29:35,024 --> 00:29:36,423
I actually do plan on speaking
to a tobacco farmer.

616
00:29:36,525 --> 00:29:37,514
Good.

617
00:29:37,626 --> 00:29:39,685
They're fine people,
salt of the earth.

618
00:29:39,795 --> 00:29:42,195
Nick, why do you do this?

619
00:29:42,298 --> 00:29:43,959
What motivates you?

620
00:29:50,472 --> 00:29:52,565
You really want to know?

621
00:29:52,675 --> 00:29:53,835
Mm-hmm.

622
00:29:53,943 --> 00:29:54,967
Really?

623
00:29:55,077 --> 00:29:56,874
Mm-hmm.

624
00:29:56,979 --> 00:30:01,609
Population control.

625
00:30:05,554 --> 00:30:06,646
You're bad.

626
00:30:09,091 --> 00:30:11,218
Everyone's got a mortgage to pay.

627
00:30:11,327 --> 00:30:13,557
<i>The yuppie Nuremberg defense.</i>

628
00:30:13,661 --> 00:30:17,188
So is a mortgage that much
of a life goal?

629
00:30:17,297 --> 00:30:21,597
Well, 99% of everything done
in the world, good or bad,

630
00:30:21,702 --> 00:30:24,227
is done to pay a mortgage,
so perhaps the world

631
00:30:24,338 --> 00:30:26,363
would be a better place
if everyone rented.

632
00:30:26,473 --> 00:30:28,566
Then why don't you rent?

633
00:30:28,676 --> 00:30:30,473
Mm. Well, I rent as well.

634
00:30:30,577 --> 00:30:32,044
- Really?
- Yeah.

635
00:30:32,146 --> 00:30:34,410
My son and his mother
and her boyfriend

636
00:30:34,515 --> 00:30:35,482
live in my house.

637
00:30:35,582 --> 00:30:36,708
I live in my apartment.

638
00:30:36,817 --> 00:30:40,309
What does Nick Naylor's
apartment look like?

639
00:30:40,421 --> 00:30:42,855
I don't know.
It's nothing impressive.

640
00:30:42,956 --> 00:30:44,321
It wouldn't make
the real estate section.

641
00:30:45,426 --> 00:30:47,189
Can I see it?

642
00:30:49,830 --> 00:30:51,559
You want to see my apartment?

643
00:30:51,665 --> 00:30:54,566
I'd like to see
where the devil sleeps.

644
00:31:00,874 --> 00:31:03,001
<i>I know what
you're probably thinking.</i>

645
00:31:05,579 --> 00:31:07,706
<i>This is a bad idea, right?</i>

646
00:31:10,451 --> 00:31:12,078
<i>I mean, come on.</i>

647
00:31:12,186 --> 00:31:13,278
<i>It's not that bad of an idea.</i>

648
00:31:27,935 --> 00:31:29,493
Mom, why can't I go

649
00:31:29,603 --> 00:31:31,662
to California?

650
00:31:31,772 --> 00:31:35,208
Because California's
just not a... safe place.

651
00:31:35,309 --> 00:31:37,834
And besides,
I'm not sure it's appropriate

652
00:31:37,945 --> 00:31:41,176
for your father to bring you
on a business trip.

653
00:31:41,281 --> 00:31:42,714
Appropriate for who?

654
00:31:42,816 --> 00:31:44,784
What?

655
00:31:44,885 --> 00:31:47,183
Mom, is it possible that
you're taking the frustration

656
00:31:47,287 --> 00:31:49,152
of your failed marriage out on me?

657
00:31:50,224 --> 00:31:52,692
Excuse me?

658
00:31:52,793 --> 00:31:55,057
This California trip seems like
a great learning opportunity

659
00:31:55,162 --> 00:31:57,960
and a chance for me
to get to know my father.

660
00:31:58,065 --> 00:31:59,794
But if you think it's more important

661
00:31:59,900 --> 00:32:01,765
to use me to channel your frustration

662
00:32:01,869 --> 00:32:03,769
against the man you no longer love,

663
00:32:03,871 --> 00:32:05,532
I'll understand.

664
00:32:10,577 --> 00:32:12,511
How'd you convince her?

665
00:32:12,613 --> 00:32:14,808
It was an argument,
not a negotiation.

666
00:32:14,915 --> 00:32:16,542
That's my boy.

667
00:33:02,863 --> 00:33:04,524
Nick?

668
00:33:04,631 --> 00:33:06,758
Nick, Jack, Jeff's assistant. Hey.

669
00:33:06,867 --> 00:33:09,131
How was your flight?
Are you jet-lagged at all?

670
00:33:09,236 --> 00:33:10,931
It's, like, 2:00 in D.C.
right now.

671
00:33:11,038 --> 00:33:12,505
You know what?
Take some vitamin B.

672
00:33:12,606 --> 00:33:13,834
Jeff swears by it- in fact,

673
00:33:13,941 --> 00:33:15,602
I'm gonna hook you up
with an injection.

674
00:33:15,709 --> 00:33:17,108
Who's this with you?
How are you, dude? What's going on?

675
00:33:17,211 --> 00:33:18,303
You guys ever been to L.A. before?

676
00:33:18,412 --> 00:33:20,243
You want to head back
to Jeff’s office?

677
00:33:20,347 --> 00:33:22,713
In fact, we probably should-
He's a punctual being.

678
00:33:22,816 --> 00:33:25,649
We actually had some problems at first
with the exterior mirrored glass.

679
00:33:25,752 --> 00:33:28,312
The reflection of the sun was causing
head-on collisions on Wilshire.

680
00:33:28,422 --> 00:33:30,014
Oh, is everybody all right?

681
00:33:30,123 --> 00:33:32,284
Yeah, they got three-picture deals
at Paramount- I'm sure they'll live.

682
00:33:32,392 --> 00:33:33,620
- It's a nice building.
- Yeah?

683
00:33:33,727 --> 00:33:35,592
Hey, tell Jeff you think so, okay?

684
00:33:35,696 --> 00:33:38,221
'Cause he just put a lot
of himself into this building.

685
00:33:38,332 --> 00:33:41,768
And you know something?
It really shows.

686
00:33:41,869 --> 00:33:43,427
What's up, Hiroshi?

687
00:33:43,537 --> 00:33:47,303
Keep going- that sand's
not gonna rake itself.

688
00:33:47,407 --> 00:33:49,432
All right, come here,
this is my favorite part.

689
00:33:49,543 --> 00:33:52,774
That one right there?
It's $7,000.

690
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:54,905
- $7,000 for a fish?
- Yep.

691
00:33:55,015 --> 00:33:56,915
Kind of makes you want
to stop eating sushi,

692
00:33:57,017 --> 00:33:58,644
but I guess you kind of have to.

693
00:33:58,752 --> 00:34:00,583
Hey, you see that
big white one right there?

694
00:34:00,687 --> 00:34:03,451
Swear to you- $12,000,
gift from Oprah.

695
00:34:03,557 --> 00:34:07,357
It's a Chamberlain- office-warming gift
from Matthew McConaughey.

696
00:34:07,461 --> 00:34:08,826
Generous gift.

697
00:34:08,929 --> 00:34:10,954
Yeah. Right!

698
00:34:11,064 --> 00:34:13,897
Don't get me wrong, Matthew is
a tremendously talented individual

699
00:34:14,001 --> 00:34:15,491
and an extremely decent human being,

700
00:34:15,602 --> 00:34:18,127
however, before Jeff
took him on, he was a face.

701
00:34:18,238 --> 00:34:19,466
Now he's a name.

702
00:34:23,110 --> 00:34:26,011
Do you hear that?

703
00:34:29,249 --> 00:34:30,580
No.

704
00:34:31,652 --> 00:34:33,882
Exactly.

705
00:34:42,763 --> 00:34:44,128
Hey, Neal.

706
00:34:44,231 --> 00:34:46,495
Neal, I'm gonna impale
your mom on a spike,

707
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:49,262
and I'm gonna feed her dead body
to my dog with syphilis.

708
00:34:49,369 --> 00:34:51,132
Aw, Jack, you got me!

709
00:34:51,238 --> 00:34:52,899
That guy!

710
00:34:53,006 --> 00:34:55,702
It's an inside joke.

711
00:34:55,809 --> 00:34:58,073
So, as you can see,

712
00:34:58,178 --> 00:35:00,373
Jeff just really loves Asian shit.

713
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,209
Uh, Candace, is he ready?

714
00:35:02,316 --> 00:35:03,977
- Mm-hmm.
- Fantastic.

715
00:35:04,084 --> 00:35:06,348
Okay, Joey,
I'm gonna bring your dad in now.

716
00:35:06,453 --> 00:35:08,478
Is there anything I can get
you while you're waiting,

717
00:35:08,588 --> 00:35:10,783
like an orange juice
or a coffee or a Red Bull?

718
00:35:10,891 --> 00:35:13,291
- No, thanks.
- Okay.

719
00:35:15,796 --> 00:35:17,764
Wow, it's a great office.

720
00:35:17,864 --> 00:35:19,855
Yeah. Jeff basically designed
the whole thing.

721
00:35:19,967 --> 00:35:21,867
The architect just made the drawings.

722
00:35:21,969 --> 00:35:24,335
Jack, stop it.

723
00:35:24,438 --> 00:35:25,735
Next you're gonna be telling him

724
00:35:25,839 --> 00:35:27,329
what position I played
for the Bruins.

725
00:35:27,441 --> 00:35:28,339
Quarterback.

726
00:35:28,442 --> 00:35:29,704
Jeff Megall.

727
00:35:29,810 --> 00:35:31,038
Nick Naylor.

728
00:35:31,144 --> 00:35:33,374
Mr. Naylor's here to see
if we can't get cigarettes

729
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:36,005
- into the hands of somebody
other than the usual RAVs.
- Sure.

730
00:35:36,116 --> 00:35:38,607
- RAVs?
- Russians, Arabs and Villains.

731
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:40,448
Oh, well, then yes, I guess
that is why I'm here.

732
00:35:40,554 --> 00:35:42,749
Good. I think we can help.

733
00:35:42,856 --> 00:35:44,949
Jeff invented product placement.

734
00:35:45,058 --> 00:35:47,026
I feel I have to ask, uh...

735
00:35:47,127 --> 00:35:50,119
Are you concerned at
all about the, um...

736
00:35:50,230 --> 00:35:51,788
about the health element?

737
00:35:51,898 --> 00:35:54,765
I'm not a doctor, I'm a facilitator.

738
00:35:54,868 --> 00:35:56,130
I bring creative people together.

739
00:35:56,236 --> 00:35:58,431
Whatever information there is,
exists, it's out there.

740
00:35:58,538 --> 00:35:59,732
People will decide for themselves.

741
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:02,274
They should. It's not
my role to decide for them.

742
00:36:02,376 --> 00:36:04,276
It'd be morally presumptuous.

743
00:36:04,378 --> 00:36:06,938
<i>I could learn a lot
from this man.</i>

744
00:36:07,047 --> 00:36:09,413
Now, what we need is
a smoking role model,

745
00:36:09,516 --> 00:36:10,448
a real winner.

746
00:36:10,550 --> 00:36:12,245
Indiana Jones meets Jerry Maguire.

747
00:36:12,352 --> 00:36:13,410
Right, on two packs a day.

748
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,545
Only he can't live
in contemporary society.

749
00:36:15,655 --> 00:36:16,553
Why not?

750
00:36:16,656 --> 00:36:18,647
The health issue's way too prevalent.

751
00:36:18,759 --> 00:36:20,693
People would constantly
be asking the character

752
00:36:20,794 --> 00:36:23,058
why he's smoking-
and that should go unsaid.

753
00:36:23,163 --> 00:36:25,097
How do you feel about the future?

754
00:36:25,198 --> 00:36:27,393
The future?

755
00:36:27,501 --> 00:36:29,230
Yeah, after the health thing's
blown over.

756
00:36:29,336 --> 00:36:30,667
A world
where smokers and nonsmokers

757
00:36:30,771 --> 00:36:32,170
live together in perfect harmony.

758
00:36:32,272 --> 00:36:34,638
Sony has a futuristic sci-fi movie
they're looking to make.

759
00:36:34,741 --> 00:36:36,675
<i>Message From Sector Six.</i>

760
00:36:36,777 --> 00:36:38,802
All takes place in a space station.

761
00:36:38,912 --> 00:36:40,777
They're actively looking
for some cofinancing.

762
00:36:40,881 --> 00:36:42,348
So cigarettes in space?

763
00:36:42,449 --> 00:36:44,576
It's the final frontier, Nick.

764
00:36:44,684 --> 00:36:46,675
But wouldn't they blow up
in an all-oxygen environment?

765
00:36:47,754 --> 00:36:49,483
Probably.

766
00:36:49,589 --> 00:36:52,183
But it's an easy fix-
one line of dialogue:

767
00:36:52,292 --> 00:36:54,260
"Thank God we invented the..."
you know,

768
00:36:54,361 --> 00:36:55,658
whatever device.

769
00:36:55,762 --> 00:36:57,627
Brad Pitt.

770
00:36:57,731 --> 00:36:59,289
Catherine Zeta-Jones.

771
00:36:59,399 --> 00:37:00,798
They've just finished ravishing

772
00:37:00,901 --> 00:37:03,495
each other's bodies
for the first time.

773
00:37:03,603 --> 00:37:05,628
They lie naked, suspended in air

774
00:37:05,739 --> 00:37:07,172
underneath the heavens.

775
00:37:07,274 --> 00:37:09,640
Pitt lights up.

776
00:37:09,743 --> 00:37:11,472
He starts blowing smoke rings
all around

777
00:37:11,578 --> 00:37:13,375
Catherine's naked, flawless body,

778
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:16,643
as the galaxies go whizzing
by over the glass-domed ceiling.

779
00:37:16,750 --> 00:37:18,809
Now, tell me that
doesn't work for you.

780
00:37:18,919 --> 00:37:20,216
I'd see that movie.

781
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:21,582
I'd buy the goddamn DVD.

782
00:37:21,688 --> 00:37:24,384
You know, if the academy
didn't send them to me for free.

783
00:37:24,491 --> 00:37:25,958
You know,

784
00:37:26,059 --> 00:37:28,220
you guys ought to think
about designing a cigarette

785
00:37:28,328 --> 00:37:30,057
to be released simultaneously
with the movie.

786
00:37:30,163 --> 00:37:31,721
Sector Sixes.

787
00:37:31,832 --> 00:37:33,390
No one's ever done it
with a cigarette.

788
00:37:33,500 --> 00:37:34,626
Wow.

789
00:37:34,734 --> 00:37:36,634
Well, where do we go from here?

790
00:37:36,736 --> 00:37:39,569
You enjoy the rest of your day
in L.A. with your son

791
00:37:39,673 --> 00:37:41,607
while I find out
the answers to these questions.

792
00:37:41,708 --> 00:37:44,336
Hey, where can I get
a bite to eat with my son?

793
00:37:44,444 --> 00:37:45,968
You ought to try Nobu's new place.

794
00:37:46,079 --> 00:37:48,479
- He only serves food that's white.
- Oh, great.

795
00:37:49,749 --> 00:37:51,979
<i>So, you go to an office,</i>

796
00:37:52,085 --> 00:37:54,713
<i>then you go on TV
and talk about cigarettes.</i>

797
00:37:54,821 --> 00:37:56,652
<i>Then you fly out to L.A.</i>

798
00:37:56,756 --> 00:37:59,224
to talk to some guy who
works with movie stars.

799
00:37:59,326 --> 00:38:02,625
- What is that?
- That's my job; I'm a lobbyist.

800
00:38:02,729 --> 00:38:05,391
I know, but did you study to do that?

801
00:38:05,499 --> 00:38:07,990
No. No, I just kind of figured it out.

802
00:38:08,101 --> 00:38:10,194
Then can't anyone just do that?

803
00:38:10,303 --> 00:38:14,239
No, it, uh, requires a...

804
00:38:14,341 --> 00:38:18,072
a moral flexibility
that goes beyond most people.

805
00:38:19,179 --> 00:38:22,012
Do I have flexible morals?

806
00:38:22,115 --> 00:38:24,811
Well, let's say
you became a lawyer, right?

807
00:38:24,918 --> 00:38:26,545
And you were asked
to defend a murderer.

808
00:38:26,653 --> 00:38:28,177
Worse than that- a child murderer.

809
00:38:28,288 --> 00:38:29,585
Now,

810
00:38:29,689 --> 00:38:32,681
the law states that every person
deserves a fair trial.

811
00:38:32,792 --> 00:38:34,885
Would you defend them?

812
00:38:34,995 --> 00:38:36,690
I don't know.
I guess every person

813
00:38:36,796 --> 00:38:38,627
- deserves a fair defense.
- Yeah, well,

814
00:38:38,732 --> 00:38:40,859
so do multinational corporations.

815
00:38:40,967 --> 00:38:44,266
So, what happens when you're wrong?

816
00:38:44,371 --> 00:38:46,032
Well, Joey, I'm never wrong.

817
00:38:46,139 --> 00:38:47,606
But you can't always be right.

818
00:38:47,707 --> 00:38:50,642
Well, if it's your job to be right,
then you're never wrong.

819
00:38:50,744 --> 00:38:52,939
<i>But what if you are wrong?</i>

820
00:38:53,046 --> 00:38:55,207
Okay, let's say that
you're defending chocolate

821
00:38:55,315 --> 00:38:56,646
and I'm defending vanilla.

822
00:38:56,750 --> 00:38:59,150
Now, if I were to say to you,

823
00:38:59,252 --> 00:39:02,153
"Vanilla's the best flavor
ice cream," you'd say...?

824
00:39:02,255 --> 00:39:04,314
- "No, chocolate is."
- Exactly.

825
00:39:04,424 --> 00:39:06,016
But you can't win that argument.

826
00:39:06,126 --> 00:39:08,686
So, I'll ask you-
So you think chocolate

827
00:39:08,795 --> 00:39:11,593
is the end-all and be-all
of ice cream, do you?

828
00:39:11,698 --> 00:39:13,757
It's the best ice cream;
I wouldn't order any other.

829
00:39:13,867 --> 00:39:15,767
Oh. So it's all chocolate
for you, is it?

830
00:39:15,869 --> 00:39:17,461
Yes, chocolate is all I need.

831
00:39:17,571 --> 00:39:18,868
Well, I need more than chocolate.

832
00:39:18,972 --> 00:39:20,963
And for that matter,
I need more than vanilla.

833
00:39:21,074 --> 00:39:22,837
I believe that we need
freedom and choice

834
00:39:22,943 --> 00:39:25,434
when it comes to our ice cream,
and that, Joey Naylor,

835
00:39:25,545 --> 00:39:27,069
that is the definition of liberty.

836
00:39:27,180 --> 00:39:29,114
But that's not what
we're talking about.

837
00:39:29,216 --> 00:39:31,616
<i>Ah, but that's what
I'm talking about.</i>

838
00:39:31,718 --> 00:39:34,653
- But... you didn't prove that vanilla's the best.
- I didn't have to.

839
00:39:34,754 --> 00:39:37,587
I proved that you're wrong-
and if you're wrong, I'm right.

840
00:39:37,691 --> 00:39:38,658
But you still didn't

841
00:39:38,758 --> 00:39:39,816
convince me.

842
00:39:39,926 --> 00:39:41,257
'Cause I'm not after you.

843
00:39:41,361 --> 00:39:44,660
I'm after them.

844
00:40:00,747 --> 00:40:02,214
Hello?

845
00:40:02,315 --> 00:40:04,215
Thought I'd give you a little update.

846
00:40:04,317 --> 00:40:06,285
Jeff. You still at the office?

847
00:40:06,386 --> 00:40:08,911
Do you know what time it is
in Tokyo right now?

848
00:40:09,022 --> 00:40:10,785
- No.
- 4:00 P.M. tomorrow.

849
00:40:10,890 --> 00:40:12,687
It's the future, Nick.

850
00:40:13,893 --> 00:40:15,622
Anyway, for Pitt to smoke,

851
00:40:15,729 --> 00:40:17,959
it's $10 million;
for the pair, it's 25.

852
00:40:18,064 --> 00:40:21,227
25?! Usually when I buy two
of something, I get a discount.

853
00:40:21,334 --> 00:40:22,528
What's the extra five for?

854
00:40:22,636 --> 00:40:23,796
Synergy.

855
00:40:23,903 --> 00:40:26,667
These are not stupid people;
they got it right away.

856
00:40:26,773 --> 00:40:29,003
Pitt and Zeta-Jones lighting up
after some cosmic fucking

857
00:40:29,109 --> 00:40:31,577
in the bubble suite's
gonna sell a lot of cigarettes.

858
00:40:31,678 --> 00:40:33,111
Well, for that kind of money,

859
00:40:33,213 --> 00:40:35,113
my people will expect
some very serious smoking.

860
00:40:35,215 --> 00:40:36,705
Can Brad blow smoke rings?

861
00:40:36,816 --> 00:40:38,215
I don't have that information.

862
00:40:38,318 --> 00:40:40,013
Well, for $25 million,
we'd want smoke rings.

863
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:41,610
Oh, one other thing-
you'll be cofinancing

864
00:40:41,721 --> 00:40:43,655
the picture
with the Sultan of Glutan.

865
00:40:43,757 --> 00:40:44,951
The Sultan of Glutan?

866
00:40:45,058 --> 00:40:47,083
The one who massacred
and enslaved his own people?

867
00:40:47,193 --> 00:40:49,684
Aren't they calling him
the Hitler of the South Pacific?

868
00:40:49,796 --> 00:40:52,230
No, I can't speak to that-
All my dealings with him,

869
00:40:52,332 --> 00:40:54,061
he's been a very reasonable
and sensitive guy.

870
00:40:54,167 --> 00:40:55,395
He's fun. You'll like him.

871
00:40:55,502 --> 00:40:56,696
I better run it by my people.

872
00:40:56,803 --> 00:40:57,895
No problem.

873
00:40:58,004 --> 00:40:59,369
Oh, that's London calling.

874
00:40:59,472 --> 00:41:01,599
7:00 A.M. in the Old Empire.

875
00:41:01,708 --> 00:41:03,266
Jeff, when do you sleep?

876
00:41:03,376 --> 00:41:04,604
Sunday.

877
00:42:06,740 --> 00:42:09,231
- Operator.
- Yeah, my light is blinking.

878
00:42:09,342 --> 00:42:12,573
- There's a package downstairs for you.
- Okay, send it up.

879
00:42:15,115 --> 00:42:18,312
Captain, I'm sitting in front
of an open briefcase.

880
00:42:18,418 --> 00:42:20,443
I don't suppose this is a raise.

881
00:42:20,553 --> 00:42:24,353
Now, Nick, do you know
who Lorne Lutch is?

882
00:42:24,457 --> 00:42:26,152
Yeah, of course.
He's the original Marlboro Man.

883
00:42:26,259 --> 00:42:28,727
<i>He's dying.
He was on Sally last week.</i>

884
00:42:28,828 --> 00:42:31,023
Not exactly our biggest fan.

885
00:42:31,131 --> 00:42:32,359
Well, the money's for him.

886
00:42:32,465 --> 00:42:35,093
Now, he has a ranch
out there in California.

887
00:42:35,201 --> 00:42:36,862
I want you to bring it to him.

888
00:42:36,970 --> 00:42:40,804
He's a cowboy, sir,
and cowboys don't like bribes.

889
00:42:40,907 --> 00:42:43,068
It's not a bribe. No, sir.

890
00:42:43,176 --> 00:42:45,940
You're going out there
on wings of angels, son.

891
00:42:46,045 --> 00:42:48,980
You mean we're just going
to give him the money?

892
00:42:49,082 --> 00:42:50,481
Well, I think Christ himself
would say,

893
00:42:50,583 --> 00:42:52,813
"That's mighty white of you boys."

894
00:42:52,919 --> 00:42:54,978
No gag agreement?

895
00:42:55,088 --> 00:42:57,488
Hopefully, he'll be so damn
overcome with gratitude

896
00:42:57,590 --> 00:42:59,922
<i>he'll... he'll have to shut up.</i>

897
00:43:10,670 --> 00:43:13,002
Hey, kiddo, I got to go do
a little bit more work

898
00:43:13,106 --> 00:43:14,198
this afternoon, all right?

899
00:43:14,307 --> 00:43:15,205
Can I come?

900
00:43:15,308 --> 00:43:16,741
No. Not this time.

901
00:43:16,843 --> 00:43:19,004
But I want to see what you do.

902
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:01,912
You stay here, okay?

903
00:44:21,074 --> 00:44:23,634
What the fuck are you doing here?

904
00:44:23,743 --> 00:44:26,337
Uh... uh...

905
00:44:26,446 --> 00:44:28,141
Do you have a minute?

906
00:44:33,286 --> 00:44:34,947
What do you want?

907
00:44:35,054 --> 00:44:36,282
Dad!

908
00:44:36,389 --> 00:44:37,515
Joey, get back in the car.

909
00:44:44,130 --> 00:44:46,121
Just want to talk.

910
00:44:47,467 --> 00:44:49,526
All right.

911
00:44:49,636 --> 00:44:51,103
Let's talk.

912
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:09,954
Pearl, we got company.

913
00:45:12,592 --> 00:45:15,789
Mister, you got a lot of nerve
walking in here after...

914
00:45:15,895 --> 00:45:19,262
Honey, why don't you show
this young man some iced tea?

915
00:45:22,402 --> 00:45:23,892
I'll be right back, tiger.

916
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,880
Saw you on...

917
00:45:42,989 --> 00:45:46,481
Weren't you on that TV show?

918
00:45:46,593 --> 00:45:49,391
Yeah. Yeah, that was me.

919
00:45:49,495 --> 00:45:53,056
You're lucky you made it
out of there alive.

920
00:45:53,166 --> 00:45:55,464
Yeah. Tobacco used to be
all over the television.

921
00:45:55,568 --> 00:45:59,561
Now TV is leading the witch hunt.

922
00:45:59,672 --> 00:46:01,537
Strange business.

923
00:46:01,641 --> 00:46:04,542
Last year, after I was diagnosed,

924
00:46:04,644 --> 00:46:10,173
flew east to attend the
annual stockholders' convention.

925
00:46:11,951 --> 00:46:13,919
Stood up and told them
I thought

926
00:46:14,020 --> 00:46:18,650
they ought to cut back
on their advertising.

927
00:46:18,758 --> 00:46:21,352
You know what your boss said to me?

928
00:46:24,597 --> 00:46:27,657
He said, "We're certainly sorry

929
00:46:27,767 --> 00:46:31,533
"to hear about your medical problem.

930
00:46:31,638 --> 00:46:35,074
"However, without
knowing more

931
00:46:35,174 --> 00:46:38,837
"of your medical history,

932
00:46:38,945 --> 00:46:41,038
we can't comment further."

933
00:46:43,616 --> 00:46:45,846
But then they tried to pretend

934
00:46:45,952 --> 00:46:47,681
I never worked for 'em.

935
00:46:49,622 --> 00:46:51,852
Yeah, I got the pay stubs.

936
00:46:51,958 --> 00:46:54,722
But, hell,
I was on the damn billboards.

937
00:46:56,462 --> 00:46:58,191
I never
even smoked

938
00:46:58,297 --> 00:47:00,322
Marlboro.

939
00:47:00,433 --> 00:47:02,901
I smoked Kools.

940
00:47:07,306 --> 00:47:10,434
You look like a nice-enough fella.

941
00:47:10,543 --> 00:47:12,841
What are you doing
working for these assholes?

942
00:47:14,747 --> 00:47:16,806
I'm good at it.

943
00:47:16,916 --> 00:47:18,144
Better at doing this

944
00:47:18,251 --> 00:47:19,912
than I ever was
at doing anything else.

945
00:47:20,019 --> 00:47:21,953
Aw, hell, son.

946
00:47:22,055 --> 00:47:24,615
I was good at shooting VC.

947
00:47:24,724 --> 00:47:26,692
I didn't make it my career.

948
00:47:28,995 --> 00:47:32,658
I suppose we all
got to pay the mortgage.

949
00:47:36,502 --> 00:47:38,663
Your dad always bring
you along like this?

950
00:47:38,771 --> 00:47:41,501
No. I live with my mom.

951
00:47:41,607 --> 00:47:43,336
He tell you why he's here today?

952
00:47:43,443 --> 00:47:47,277
He said that your husband
was the Marlboro Man.

953
00:47:48,881 --> 00:47:52,681
Yeah, well, not anymore.

954
00:47:52,785 --> 00:47:54,252
Hello.

955
00:47:54,353 --> 00:47:56,514
Yeah. Hey, can you hold on a second?

956
00:47:56,622 --> 00:48:00,718
You need anything else,
grab it out of the fridge.

957
00:48:00,827 --> 00:48:02,488
So I'm standing here
minding my own business,

958
00:48:02,595 --> 00:48:04,460
filling up pill bottles...

959
00:48:04,564 --> 00:48:10,469
So you're here to talk me
into shutting up?

960
00:48:12,338 --> 00:48:14,602
That what's in that case of yours?

961
00:48:14,707 --> 00:48:17,369
Yeah, basically.

962
00:48:18,578 --> 00:48:19,977
No, not basically.

963
00:48:20,079 --> 00:48:22,309
That's... that's exactly it.

964
00:48:24,417 --> 00:48:26,044
My dignity ain't for sale.

965
00:48:26,152 --> 00:48:28,620
It's not an offer.
It's a gift.

966
00:48:28,721 --> 00:48:29,847
Taxes have all been paid.

967
00:48:29,956 --> 00:48:32,686
You get to keep it
no matter what you do.

968
00:48:32,792 --> 00:48:34,225
The idea is that, somehow,

969
00:48:34,327 --> 00:48:36,955
your guilt will prevent you
from bad-mouthing us.

970
00:48:37,063 --> 00:48:38,860
Are you supposed to be

971
00:48:38,965 --> 00:48:40,660
telling me all that?

972
00:48:40,767 --> 00:48:43,292
No, sir. Just apologize,

973
00:48:43,402 --> 00:48:45,165
give you the money, and leave.

974
00:48:45,271 --> 00:48:47,034
<i>Why are you telling me this?</i>

975
00:48:49,575 --> 00:48:51,543
Because, this way,
you'll take the money.

976
00:48:51,644 --> 00:48:52,906
Why would I do that?

977
00:48:53,012 --> 00:48:54,001
Because you're mad.

978
00:48:54,113 --> 00:48:55,546
Damn straight I am.

979
00:48:55,648 --> 00:48:56,637
The first thing you'll do,

980
00:48:56,749 --> 00:48:58,842
<i>is you'll call the L.A. Times,
and CNN...</i>

981
00:48:58,951 --> 00:49:00,350
- Huh?
- and insist on Bonnie Carlton.

982
00:49:00,453 --> 00:49:01,351
She does really good

983
00:49:01,454 --> 00:49:02,352
controlled outrage.

984
00:49:02,455 --> 00:49:03,683
Tell them, "No Bonnie, no story."

985
00:49:03,790 --> 00:49:04,814
Watch it on MSNBC.

986
00:49:04,924 --> 00:49:06,221
- Okay.
- When they get here,

987
00:49:06,325 --> 00:49:09,260
you open up the case...

988
00:49:11,964 --> 00:49:15,127
and you pour all the cash
out onto the floor.

989
00:49:15,234 --> 00:49:16,292
- Why?
- Trust me.

990
00:49:16,402 --> 00:49:17,596
It'll look more effective that way.

991
00:49:17,703 --> 00:49:21,764
Don't forget to shake
every last bundle out.

992
00:49:23,509 --> 00:49:25,170
If you can, you know,
give a cough or two.

993
00:49:25,278 --> 00:49:28,179
Once it's all
out on the floor,

994
00:49:28,281 --> 00:49:29,748
tell them what you're
going to do with it.

995
00:49:29,849 --> 00:49:30,816
<i>What am I going to do with it?</i>

996
00:49:30,917 --> 00:49:31,941
You're going to donate it.

997
00:49:32,051 --> 00:49:34,246
Yeah. Start the Lorne Lutch
Cancer Foundation.

998
00:49:34,353 --> 00:49:35,684
You're going to have
a ranch and a fair

999
00:49:35,788 --> 00:49:38,416
and a 5K.
A 5K is a must. Television...

1000
00:49:38,524 --> 00:49:39,548
Wait a minute.

1001
00:49:39,659 --> 00:49:41,889
What about my family?

1002
00:49:44,330 --> 00:49:46,525
But, Lorne, you can't keep the money.

1003
00:49:46,632 --> 00:49:48,122
Why the hell not?

1004
00:49:48,234 --> 00:49:49,462
What do you mean?

1005
00:49:49,569 --> 00:49:52,163
Denounce us,
and then keep the blood money?

1006
00:49:52,271 --> 00:49:53,568
I mean, look at it.

1007
00:50:00,847 --> 00:50:01,745
I got to think this over.

1008
00:50:01,848 --> 00:50:02,712
Lorne, whoa.

1009
00:50:02,815 --> 00:50:04,806
News doesn't work that way.

1010
00:50:04,917 --> 00:50:06,942
You can't denounce us next week.

1011
00:50:13,559 --> 00:50:16,824
I don't suppose I can
denounce you for half of it.

1012
00:50:16,929 --> 00:50:20,296
No, Lorne. Either you keep
all the money,

1013
00:50:20,399 --> 00:50:23,163
or you... you give it all away.

1014
00:50:33,613 --> 00:50:35,774
Dad, how did you know

1015
00:50:35,882 --> 00:50:37,747
he would take the money?

1016
00:50:40,086 --> 00:50:42,987
You'd have to be crazy
to turn down all that money.

1017
00:50:43,089 --> 00:50:45,557
When I saw he wasn't crazy,
I knew he'd take it.

1018
00:50:47,059 --> 00:50:49,527
Would you have taken it?

1019
00:50:49,629 --> 00:50:52,189
If I were him? Sure.

1020
00:50:54,934 --> 00:50:56,401
So would I.

1021
00:51:07,947 --> 00:51:09,005
I don't think you understand, sir.

1022
00:51:09,115 --> 00:51:10,412
He's like a wild animal.

1023
00:51:10,516 --> 00:51:12,177
You'll have to be
on your guard at all times.

1024
00:51:12,285 --> 00:51:13,274
He has this trick.

1025
00:51:13,386 --> 00:51:14,580
Ron, shut up.

1026
00:51:14,687 --> 00:51:16,518
I've tangoed with presidents,
lawyers and Indian chiefs.

1027
00:51:16,622 --> 00:51:19,182
I think I can handle Mr. Nick Naylor.

1028
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:22,354
All right, welcome back, kids.

1029
00:51:22,461 --> 00:51:24,361
We've got two guests
on the show tonight.

1030
00:51:24,463 --> 00:51:26,454
First, joining us
from our Washington studio...

1031
00:51:26,565 --> 00:51:28,499
I must have that tie clip!

1032
00:51:28,601 --> 00:51:31,195
...is the senator from
the great state of Vermont.

1033
00:51:31,304 --> 00:51:33,465
Please welcome Ortolan Finistirre.

1034
00:51:33,572 --> 00:51:34,470
Welcome, Senator.

1035
00:51:34,573 --> 00:51:36,131
Good to be here, Dennis.

1036
00:51:36,242 --> 00:51:37,937
And, joining us here
in our Los Angeles studio,

1037
00:51:38,044 --> 00:51:39,909
he is the chief spokesperson

1038
00:51:40,012 --> 00:51:42,207
for the Academy of Tobacco Studies.

1039
00:51:42,315 --> 00:51:43,805
Quite an august chamber, might I add?

1040
00:51:43,916 --> 00:51:45,679
- Nick Naylor. Nick, welcome.
- Pleasure to be here.

1041
00:51:45,785 --> 00:51:48,515
All right, I understand you were
on Joan Lunden's show recently.

1042
00:51:48,621 --> 00:51:50,213
Didn't make a lot
of friends over there, did you?

1043
00:51:50,323 --> 00:51:51,688
I will say that I don't think

1044
00:51:51,791 --> 00:51:53,088
I'll be getting
my annual invitation

1045
00:51:53,192 --> 00:51:55,956
to the Finistirre Labor Day Barbecue.

1046
00:51:56,062 --> 00:51:58,462
Well, I continue to offer
an open invitation to Mr. Naylor

1047
00:51:58,564 --> 00:52:00,896
to join us in Congress
to talk about the inclusion

1048
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:03,730
of our new poison label which,
if I might say...

1049
00:52:03,836 --> 00:52:05,997
Nick, ready to trek up
the Hill and testify

1050
00:52:06,105 --> 00:52:07,299
before Congress?

1051
00:52:07,406 --> 00:52:09,567
Well, I'd love to, Dennis,
but not as long as the senator

1052
00:52:09,675 --> 00:52:11,040
is calling for me to be fired.

1053
00:52:11,143 --> 00:52:13,441
It's not exactly
a welcome invitation.

1054
00:52:13,546 --> 00:52:16,071
Yeah. Bit of a mixed message,
Senator.

1055
00:52:16,182 --> 00:52:18,446
Well, not as mixed as the stance
that Big Tobacco has taken

1056
00:52:18,551 --> 00:52:20,314
about the dangers
of smoking cigarettes.

1057
00:52:20,419 --> 00:52:21,852
- Oh, no.
- Now what are you laughing...?

1058
00:52:21,954 --> 00:52:24,047
You're a wind-up artist.
Give the man his due.

1059
00:52:24,156 --> 00:52:25,953
He's got a bit of a point there,
doesn't he?

1060
00:52:26,058 --> 00:52:27,923
Sorry. I just can't
help myself, Dennis.

1061
00:52:28,027 --> 00:52:29,688
I... I... I'm just tickled by the idea

1062
00:52:29,795 --> 00:52:31,490
of the gentleman from Vermont

1063
00:52:31,597 --> 00:52:34,157
calling me a hypocrite
when, uh... this same man,

1064
00:52:34,266 --> 00:52:36,131
in one day, held a press
conference where he called

1065
00:52:36,235 --> 00:52:38,726
for the American tobacco fields
to be slashed and burned,

1066
00:52:38,838 --> 00:52:40,430
then he jumped on a private jet

1067
00:52:40,539 --> 00:52:43,030
and flew down to Farm Aid
where he rode a tractor onstage

1068
00:52:43,142 --> 00:52:46,134
- Oh, come on.
- as he bemoaned the downfall
of the American farmer.

1069
00:52:46,245 --> 00:52:48,042
Care to comment, Senator?

1070
00:52:48,147 --> 00:52:50,081
He... I... No.

1071
00:52:50,182 --> 00:52:52,412
Eloquent in its brevity.

1072
00:52:52,518 --> 00:52:53,644
Emotional issue.

1073
00:52:53,753 --> 00:52:54,981
Let's take some phone calls now.

1074
00:52:55,087 --> 00:52:57,385
Herndon, Virginia.
Go ahead. You're on the show.

1075
00:52:57,490 --> 00:52:59,981
Dennis, has anyone ever
announced that they're going

1076
00:53:00,092 --> 00:53:01,855
to kill someone live on your show?

1077
00:53:01,961 --> 00:53:05,192
My demo's been called quirky
but, no, at this point,

1078
00:53:05,297 --> 00:53:07,390
we're not skewing
to the emotionally unstable.

1079
00:53:07,500 --> 00:53:09,627
Then it's your lucky day.

1080
00:53:09,735 --> 00:53:11,396
Because I'm here to tell
you that, within a week,

1081
00:53:11,504 --> 00:53:14,098
we're going to dispatch
Mr. Naylor from this planet

1082
00:53:14,206 --> 00:53:17,903
for all the pain and suffering
he's caused in the world.

1083
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:24,171
As I said, emotional issue.
We're going to break now.

1084
00:53:24,283 --> 00:53:26,046
I got to fire a call screener.

1085
00:53:52,978 --> 00:53:54,445
Let's go.

1086
00:54:30,116 --> 00:54:32,778
This is Nick Naylor
telling you kids,

1087
00:54:32,885 --> 00:54:36,082
"Don't do drugs, smoke cigarettes."

1088
00:54:36,188 --> 00:54:37,348
That's really great.

1089
00:54:37,456 --> 00:54:39,083
It's like I'm looking in a mirror.

1090
00:54:39,191 --> 00:54:41,318
New idea:

1091
00:54:41,427 --> 00:54:43,793
cigarettes for the homeless.

1092
00:54:43,896 --> 00:54:44,988
We'll call them "hobos."

1093
00:54:46,532 --> 00:54:47,897
Uh, that's awful.

1094
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:49,524
Any better than "Sector Sixes"?

1095
00:54:49,635 --> 00:54:51,603
Right.

1096
00:54:51,704 --> 00:54:54,537
Oh, my God, Nick, you're on TV.

1097
00:54:55,708 --> 00:54:58,336
"Lobbyist on the lookout."

1098
00:54:58,444 --> 00:55:01,641
You got to be kidding me.

1099
00:55:02,915 --> 00:55:06,612
I want to fuck you
while I watch you on TV.

1100
00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:08,448
And they call me sick.

1101
00:55:08,554 --> 00:55:09,452
Hurry.

1102
00:55:09,555 --> 00:55:11,546
Before your segment ends.

1103
00:55:11,657 --> 00:55:13,591
All right.

1104
00:55:19,365 --> 00:55:21,492
Tell me more about Los Angeles, baby.

1105
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:22,760
Huh?

1106
00:55:26,972 --> 00:55:28,769
<i>He says he wants
to trail me everywhere,</i>

1107
00:55:28,874 --> 00:55:30,034
I said, "Who's paying for it?"

1108
00:55:30,142 --> 00:55:31,632
He says the tobacco company's
paying for it.

1109
00:55:31,744 --> 00:55:33,268
I said, "I don't need a bodyguard."

1110
00:55:33,379 --> 00:55:34,937
I'm a man of the people.

1111
00:55:35,047 --> 00:55:36,912
Rock on, Kennedy.

1112
00:55:37,016 --> 00:55:38,711
Listen, we're all going to
need bodyguards soon enough.

1113
00:55:38,817 --> 00:55:40,614
Did you see the coverage
the fetal alcohol people

1114
00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:41,777
got themselves over this weekend?

1115
00:55:41,887 --> 00:55:43,718
They made it seem like
we were encouraging

1116
00:55:43,822 --> 00:55:44,948
pregnant women to drink.

1117
00:55:45,057 --> 00:55:46,149
I'm surprised I didn't get kidnapped

1118
00:55:46,258 --> 00:55:47,589
on my way to work this morning.

1119
00:55:47,693 --> 00:55:51,185
I don't think people from
the alcoholic beverage industry

1120
00:55:51,297 --> 00:55:53,288
need to worry about
being kidnapped just yet.

1121
00:55:54,900 --> 00:55:56,492
Pardon me?

1122
00:55:56,602 --> 00:55:57,899
Look, I mean,

1123
00:55:58,003 --> 00:55:59,994
nothing personal,
but tobacco generates

1124
00:56:00,105 --> 00:56:02,335
a little more heat than alcohol.

1125
00:56:02,441 --> 00:56:03,908
Oh, this is news.

1126
00:56:04,009 --> 00:56:07,638
My product puts away 475,000 a year.

1127
00:56:07,746 --> 00:56:10,408
Oh, okay, now 475 is a legit number.

1128
00:56:10,516 --> 00:56:11,744
Okay, 435,000.

1129
00:56:11,850 --> 00:56:12,908
That's 1,200 a day.

1130
00:56:13,018 --> 00:56:14,349
How many alcohol-related deaths
a year?

1131
00:56:14,453 --> 00:56:16,580
- Well, does that...
- 100,000 tops?

1132
00:56:16,689 --> 00:56:20,318
That's, what, 270 a day?

1133
00:56:20,426 --> 00:56:21,586
Wowee.

1134
00:56:21,694 --> 00:56:24,060
270 people, a tragedy.

1135
00:56:24,163 --> 00:56:26,154
Excuse me if I don't exactly see
terrorists getting excited

1136
00:56:26,265 --> 00:56:27,892
about kidnapping anyone
from the alcohol industry.

1137
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:29,262
- Well, you haven't even
- Okay,

1138
00:56:29,368 --> 00:56:31,199
- taken into account the number of deaths
- let's just

1139
00:56:31,303 --> 00:56:33,999
- breathe.
- How many gun deaths a year in the U. S?

1140
00:56:34,106 --> 00:56:35,835
11,000.

1141
00:56:35,941 --> 00:56:38,273
11,000, are you kidding me?

1142
00:56:38,377 --> 00:56:40,311
30 a day.

1143
00:56:40,412 --> 00:56:41,845
That's less than passenger car
mortalities.

1144
00:56:41,947 --> 00:56:43,539
No terrorist would bother
with either of you.

1145
00:56:57,229 --> 00:56:58,992
Okay, look...
stupid argument.

1146
00:56:59,098 --> 00:57:01,123
I'll say.

1147
00:57:01,233 --> 00:57:04,202
I'm sure both of you warrant
vigilante justice.

1148
00:57:04,303 --> 00:57:06,066
Thank you.

1149
00:57:26,925 --> 00:57:28,187
Hey... please.
Stop... hey.

1150
00:57:28,294 --> 00:57:29,386
Who are you guys?

1151
00:57:33,299 --> 00:57:35,597
<i>And freedom means
that we can do what we want.</i>

1152
00:57:35,701 --> 00:57:38,067
And that's really important.

1153
00:57:38,170 --> 00:57:41,765
Because otherwise,
we couldn't be free.

1154
00:57:41,874 --> 00:57:45,901
And that's why America is
the best government in the world.

1155
00:57:46,011 --> 00:57:47,569
Whoa, hey, hey, hey.

1156
00:57:47,680 --> 00:57:50,376
Hey, no need for that,
no need for that.

1157
00:57:50,482 --> 00:57:51,847
Whoa, whoa, hey.

1158
00:57:51,950 --> 00:57:52,917
Hey, wait.

1159
00:57:53,018 --> 00:57:54,212
Can we get a dialogue going here?

1160
00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:57,084
Nick, we want you
to stop killing people.

1161
00:57:57,189 --> 00:57:58,918
So many people.

1162
00:57:59,024 --> 00:58:00,582
Half a million people a year
in the U.S.

1163
00:58:00,693 --> 00:58:02,388
That, there's no data
to support that.

1164
00:58:02,494 --> 00:58:04,621
Nick... you're not on TV anymore.

1165
00:58:08,033 --> 00:58:09,728
Okay, Joey, it's your turn.

1166
00:58:12,338 --> 00:58:13,600
Hey!

1167
00:58:13,706 --> 00:58:15,105
Nick, how much do you smoke a day?

1168
00:58:15,207 --> 00:58:16,765
Hey, what are you doing?

1169
00:58:16,875 --> 00:58:19,139
According to the box,
each one of those patches

1170
00:58:19,244 --> 00:58:21,405
contains 21 milligrams of nicotine.

1171
00:58:21,513 --> 00:58:22,480
That's, like, what?

1172
00:58:22,581 --> 00:58:23,980
One pack?

1173
00:58:24,083 --> 00:58:26,381
Our industry has been working
hand in hand with...

1174
00:58:26,485 --> 00:58:28,419
Nick! Just listen, all right?

1175
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:30,078
What makes America
the best government?

1176
00:58:30,189 --> 00:58:32,487
The passion that doesn't exist
anywhere in the world.

1177
00:58:32,591 --> 00:58:34,491
Says here there are
many adverse reactions

1178
00:58:34,593 --> 00:58:35,651
from those things.

1179
00:58:35,761 --> 00:58:37,661
Let's see, "arrhythmia,

1180
00:58:37,763 --> 00:58:39,230
"constipation, dyspepsia,

1181
00:58:39,331 --> 00:58:41,856
- "nausea...
- My industry does $48 billion in revenue.

1182
00:58:41,967 --> 00:58:43,662
pharyngitis, sinusitis..."

1183
00:58:43,769 --> 00:58:46,602
Sure you can call it capitalism,
a free market,

1184
00:58:46,705 --> 00:58:48,332
a celebration of tariff breakdowns...

1185
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:51,102
"dysmenorrhea..."

1186
00:58:51,210 --> 00:58:53,178
I don't even want to know
what that means.

1187
00:58:53,278 --> 00:58:55,041
Hey, look, I guess you could
start by, you know,

1188
00:58:55,147 --> 00:58:56,944
asking for five million,
working your way up from there.

1189
00:58:57,049 --> 00:58:58,482
But I don't want any money, Nick.

1190
00:58:58,584 --> 00:58:59,516
Well, what do you want?

1191
00:58:59,618 --> 00:59:00,915
I mean, I'm all ears here.

1192
00:59:01,019 --> 00:59:04,147
I have another word for it-

1193
00:59:04,256 --> 00:59:05,484
love.

1194
00:59:05,591 --> 00:59:07,218
What does any man want?

1195
00:59:07,326 --> 00:59:08,884
The love of a woman,

1196
00:59:08,994 --> 00:59:10,188
crisp bacon...

1197
00:59:10,295 --> 00:59:15,164
an average life span over 80 years.

1198
00:59:15,267 --> 00:59:17,633
Oh, Nick...

1199
00:59:19,805 --> 00:59:21,864
...you don't look so good.

1200
00:59:28,881 --> 00:59:30,644
<i>If you should smell smoke,</i>

1201
00:59:30,749 --> 00:59:33,217
<i>please dial zero for the operator.</i>

1202
00:59:33,318 --> 00:59:37,448
<i>Before leaving the room,
check the door for heat.</i>

1203
00:59:37,556 --> 00:59:40,218
<i>Find your nearest
emergency exit,</i>

1204
00:59:40,325 --> 00:59:44,386
<i>then soak a washcloth
and cover your nose and mouth.</i>

1205
00:59:45,764 --> 00:59:47,959
<i>Do not remove your washcloth.</i>

1206
00:59:48,066 --> 00:59:51,832
<i>Try at all times to avoid
breathing in the smoke.</i>

1207
00:59:51,937 --> 00:59:55,202
<i>If necessary, crawl on
your hands and knees</i>

1208
00:59:55,307 --> 00:59:57,605
<i>to avoid the inhalation of smoke.</i>

1209
00:59:57,709 --> 00:59:59,404
<i>Do not be alarmed.</i>

1210
00:59:59,511 --> 01:00:01,809
<i>There are still
no conclusive studies</i>

1211
01:00:01,914 --> 01:00:04,644
<i>that link smoking to emphysema.</i>

1212
01:00:11,190 --> 01:00:13,215
You woke up.

1213
01:00:13,325 --> 01:00:15,486
<i>Perhaps a bad choice of inflection.</i>

1214
01:00:15,594 --> 01:00:19,257
<i>Is she implying that I
could’ve just as easily not?</i>

1215
01:00:30,476 --> 01:00:31,670
I was so scared.

1216
01:00:31,777 --> 01:00:33,039
Hey, Joey.

1217
01:00:34,646 --> 01:00:35,908
What happened?

1218
01:00:36,014 --> 01:00:38,744
No nonsmoker
could've ever withstood

1219
01:00:38,851 --> 01:00:40,842
the amount of nicotine
you had in your bloodstream.

1220
01:00:40,953 --> 01:00:42,921
Hate to say it, but...

1221
01:00:43,021 --> 01:00:45,581
cigarettes saved your life.

1222
01:00:47,860 --> 01:00:49,384
Can I quote you on that, doc?

1223
01:00:49,495 --> 01:00:51,759
You're a real trooper, my boy.

1224
01:00:51,864 --> 01:00:53,695
Hey, Captain,

1225
01:00:53,799 --> 01:00:55,130
where are you?

1226
01:00:55,234 --> 01:00:56,963
Winston-Salem General.

1227
01:00:58,470 --> 01:01:00,904
Damn heart failing me again.

1228
01:01:01,006 --> 01:01:02,735
I thought we could be roommates.

1229
01:01:02,841 --> 01:01:04,069
Nick, before
we get sidetracked,

1230
01:01:04,176 --> 01:01:05,871
there is one thing.

1231
01:01:05,978 --> 01:01:08,469
All right, don't get
all dramatic on me, doc.

1232
01:01:08,580 --> 01:01:10,605
You can't smoke.

1233
01:01:14,386 --> 01:01:15,444
That's no problem.

1234
01:01:15,554 --> 01:01:17,078
I've quit before.

1235
01:01:17,189 --> 01:01:19,089
I did during the pregnancy.

1236
01:01:19,191 --> 01:01:20,249
How long, you think?

1237
01:01:20,359 --> 01:01:22,418
I don't think you understand.

1238
01:01:22,528 --> 01:01:25,088
It's a miracle you came
out of this alive.

1239
01:01:25,197 --> 01:01:26,789
Any smoking- one cigarette-

1240
01:01:26,899 --> 01:01:28,992
could put you right back
into a paralytic state.

1241
01:01:29,101 --> 01:01:31,695
Your body just can't handle it.

1242
01:01:37,009 --> 01:01:39,000
Nick, I don't want to put
any more pressure on you,

1243
01:01:39,111 --> 01:01:40,942
but we got a camera crew
waiting out there.

1244
01:01:41,046 --> 01:01:43,071
If we want to make
the evening news...

1245
01:01:43,181 --> 01:01:45,741
You want to unhook me here?

1246
01:01:45,851 --> 01:01:49,753
This just goes to prove what
I've been saying for so long.

1247
01:01:49,855 --> 01:01:53,985
These nicotine patches
are just deadly.

1248
01:01:54,092 --> 01:01:55,855
Smoking saved my life.

1249
01:01:55,961 --> 01:01:58,555
Considering your condition,
will you still be able to appear

1250
01:01:58,664 --> 01:02:00,723
before Senator Finistirre's
subcommittee hearing

1251
01:02:00,832 --> 01:02:02,857
on the usage of poison labels
on cigarette packaging?

1252
01:02:02,968 --> 01:02:04,560
Oh, I think now more than ever

1253
01:02:04,670 --> 01:02:06,501
it is imperative that I be there.

1254
01:02:06,605 --> 01:02:08,630
Nothing will keep me from testifying.

1255
01:02:08,740 --> 01:02:11,800
Fucking kidnapping.

1256
01:02:11,910 --> 01:02:13,309
I don't understand, sir.

1257
01:02:13,412 --> 01:02:16,677
Aren't we considering
the kidnapping a good thing?

1258
01:02:16,782 --> 01:02:18,443
Well, he didn't die.

1259
01:02:18,550 --> 01:02:20,882
He was almost killed, sir.

1260
01:02:20,986 --> 01:02:22,146
That's the point.

1261
01:02:22,254 --> 01:02:24,347
Now he looks like a victim,
lucky bastard.

1262
01:02:26,258 --> 01:02:28,385
The way I heard it,
D.C. police found you naked

1263
01:02:28,493 --> 01:02:30,154
laying in Lincoln's crotch

1264
01:02:30,262 --> 01:02:33,959
<i>covered in nicotine patches
with a sign across your chest</i>

1265
01:02:34,066 --> 01:02:36,557
- that said...
- He doesn't need to hear the details.

1266
01:02:36,668 --> 01:02:39,000
It was some pretty fucked up shit.

1267
01:02:39,104 --> 01:02:40,071
Shh!

1268
01:02:40,172 --> 01:02:41,161
How are you feeling?

1269
01:02:41,273 --> 01:02:44,606
I don't know.

1270
01:02:44,710 --> 01:02:47,235
First time I'm thinking these
cigarettes are pretty dangerous.

1271
01:02:47,346 --> 01:02:49,314
You might be right about that.

1272
01:02:49,414 --> 01:02:50,847
What are you doing?

1273
01:02:52,618 --> 01:02:54,552
It may be small,
but it'll do the trick.

1274
01:02:54,653 --> 01:02:55,779
One shot, bam.

1275
01:02:55,887 --> 01:02:58,151
Listen, Nick is not
going to shoot anyone.

1276
01:02:58,256 --> 01:02:59,382
Cool.

1277
01:02:59,491 --> 01:03:00,423
Yeah, huh?

1278
01:03:00,525 --> 01:03:01,753
I mean, uh...

1279
01:03:01,860 --> 01:03:03,691
guns are to be treated with
respect, you understand that?

1280
01:03:03,795 --> 01:03:05,763
You'll make a great father.

1281
01:03:05,864 --> 01:03:07,229
Thanks.

1282
01:03:11,203 --> 01:03:12,693
Hey, there he is!

1283
01:03:12,804 --> 01:03:14,499
Hey, he's back!

1284
01:03:14,606 --> 01:03:16,039
Hey!

1285
01:03:16,141 --> 01:03:17,574
Welcome back.

1286
01:03:17,676 --> 01:03:19,769
- You okay?
- Great.

1287
01:03:19,878 --> 01:03:21,607
Good, 'cause you're booked on
all the Sunday talk shows.

1288
01:03:21,713 --> 01:03:24,511
For once we got public sympathy
on our side.

1289
01:03:24,616 --> 01:03:27,278
We can start our own little
celebrity victim tour.

1290
01:03:27,386 --> 01:03:29,752
I mean, we couldn't have planned
this thing better ourselves.

1291
01:03:29,855 --> 01:03:31,686
Oh, maybe next time
I can lose a lung.

1292
01:03:33,325 --> 01:03:35,793
Oh. Uh, I heard the, uh...

1293
01:03:35,894 --> 01:03:38,089
Heather Holloway article
is coming out tomorrow.

1294
01:03:38,196 --> 01:03:40,130
Really?

1295
01:03:40,232 --> 01:03:41,358
Yeah, anything I should be
worried about?

1296
01:03:41,466 --> 01:03:43,934
Uh, yeah, the Cancer Association.

1297
01:03:44,036 --> 01:03:45,401
Apparently, they have it in for us.

1298
01:03:45,504 --> 01:03:47,734
Fuckers.

1299
01:03:58,150 --> 01:03:59,117
What?

1300
01:03:59,217 --> 01:04:01,879
I got a call from the paper.

1301
01:04:01,987 --> 01:04:04,148
Really?
What'd they want?

1302
01:04:04,256 --> 01:04:07,316
They wanted the correct spelling
of my name and job title.

1303
01:04:07,426 --> 01:04:09,257
You didn't tell her
about us, did you?

1304
01:04:09,361 --> 01:04:11,022
Who?

1305
01:04:11,129 --> 01:04:12,323
Heather?

1306
01:04:12,431 --> 01:04:14,296
No.

1307
01:04:16,068 --> 01:04:18,263
I mean, maybe in passing, I...

1308
01:04:18,370 --> 01:04:19,997
In passing.

1309
01:04:20,105 --> 01:04:21,333
Oh, God, he fucked her.

1310
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:22,805
I tried to warn you.

1311
01:04:22,908 --> 01:04:25,342
Hey, he didn't fuck her.
You didn't fuck her, did you?

1312
01:04:27,779 --> 01:04:29,246
When?

1313
01:04:29,347 --> 01:04:30,279
In passing.

1314
01:04:30,382 --> 01:04:31,508
Look, she's a really nice girl.

1315
01:04:31,616 --> 01:04:32,640
Oh, God.

1316
01:04:32,751 --> 01:04:34,742
We're really fucked.

1317
01:04:53,105 --> 01:04:55,869
<i>"Nick Naylor,
lead spokesman for big tobacco,</i>

1318
01:04:55,974 --> 01:04:59,000
<i>"would have you believe he
thinks cigarettes are harmless.</i>

1319
01:04:59,111 --> 01:05:02,547
<i>"But really, he's doing it
for the mortgage.</i>

1320
01:05:02,647 --> 01:05:06,674
<i>The MOD squad-meaning,
of course, merchants of death-</i>

1321
01:05:06,785 --> 01:05:10,050
<i>is comprised of Polly Bailey
of the Moderation Council</i>

1322
01:05:10,155 --> 01:05:11,554
<i>and BobbyJay Bliss</i>

1323
01:05:11,656 --> 01:05:15,592
<i>of the gun business's
own advisory group, SAFETY.</i>

1324
01:05:15,694 --> 01:05:19,221
<i>As explained by Naylor,
the sole purpose of their meetings</i>

1325
01:05:19,331 --> 01:05:21,231
<i>is to compete for
the highest death toll</i>

1326
01:05:21,333 --> 01:05:22,891
<i>as they compare strategies</i>

1327
01:05:23,001 --> 01:05:26,027
<i>on how to dupe the American people.</i>

1328
01:05:26,138 --> 01:05:28,732
<i>The film, Message from Sector Six,</i>

1329
01:05:28,840 --> 01:05:31,035
<i>would emphasize the sex appeal
of cigarettes</i>

1330
01:05:31,143 --> 01:05:33,134
<i>in a way that only floating, nude,</i>

1331
01:05:33,245 --> 01:05:36,908
<i>copulating Hollywood stars could.</i>

1332
01:05:37,015 --> 01:05:40,246
<i>This did not stop Nick
from bribing the dying man</i>

1333
01:05:40,352 --> 01:05:43,321
<i>with a suitcase of cash
to keep quiet on the subject</i>

1334
01:05:43,421 --> 01:05:47,551
<i>of his recent lung cancer diagnosis.</i>

1335
01:05:47,659 --> 01:05:51,186
<i>Nick's own son, Joey Naylor,
seems to be being groomed</i>

1336
01:05:51,296 --> 01:05:53,287
<i>for the job as he joins his father</i>

1337
01:05:53,398 --> 01:05:56,333
<i>on the majority of his trips.</i>

1338
01:06:03,008 --> 01:06:05,101
I have Heather Holloway on line one.

1339
01:06:05,210 --> 01:06:06,336
Heather.

1340
01:06:06,444 --> 01:06:08,241
Hey, Nick, what did you think?

1341
01:06:08,346 --> 01:06:10,007
Heather, uh... I...

1342
01:06:10,115 --> 01:06:12,606
I mean, there's a lot
of information in here, Heather,

1343
01:06:12,717 --> 01:06:14,207
that is off the record.

1344
01:06:14,319 --> 01:06:16,583
You never said anything
about off the record.

1345
01:06:16,688 --> 01:06:21,125
I presumed anything said while
I was inside you was privileged.

1346
01:06:21,226 --> 01:06:22,693
Nick...

1347
01:06:22,794 --> 01:06:24,921
If you wanted to talk on a plane

1348
01:06:25,030 --> 01:06:28,397
or at a movie or over dinner,
that would have been fine.

1349
01:06:28,500 --> 01:06:30,525
But you wanted to fuck.

1350
01:06:30,635 --> 01:06:32,068
That's fine by me.

1351
01:06:32,170 --> 01:06:34,195
You used me.

1352
01:06:34,306 --> 01:06:35,933
Oh, Nick, come on.

1353
01:06:36,041 --> 01:06:38,066
Now we're being children.

1354
01:06:38,176 --> 01:06:40,235
Look, we both love our jobs.

1355
01:06:40,345 --> 01:06:42,905
I'm just a reporter,
and you're just a lobbyist.

1356
01:06:43,014 --> 01:06:45,244
How can you do this to me?

1357
01:06:47,519 --> 01:06:49,544
For the mortgage.

1358
01:06:57,963 --> 01:06:58,930
Bitch.

1359
01:06:59,030 --> 01:07:00,088
Whore.

1360
01:07:00,198 --> 01:07:03,429
You should have been
more careful, Nick.

1361
01:07:03,535 --> 01:07:06,333
You've destroyed all the good
will created by your kidnapping.

1362
01:07:06,438 --> 01:07:07,735
Well, we'll work up a rebuttal.

1363
01:07:07,839 --> 01:07:10,569
Heather Holloway isn't
the only reporter in town.

1364
01:07:10,675 --> 01:07:11,835
No, there isn't going
to be any rebuttal.

1365
01:07:11,943 --> 01:07:13,001
What do you mean?

1366
01:07:13,111 --> 01:07:14,442
Don't talk to anyone.

1367
01:07:14,546 --> 01:07:16,309
We're pulling you
from the congressional hearing.

1368
01:07:16,414 --> 01:07:17,972
No, no, no. You can't pull me
from the congressional hearing.

1369
01:07:18,083 --> 01:07:19,414
All you'll be doing is giving
credence to her article.

1370
01:07:19,517 --> 01:07:20,745
I'm ready to testify.

1371
01:07:20,852 --> 01:07:22,513
Look, Nick, half of my job
is damage control.

1372
01:07:22,621 --> 01:07:23,713
Today, that consists

1373
01:07:23,822 --> 01:07:26,450
of distancing ourselves
from you entirely-

1374
01:07:26,558 --> 01:07:30,289
letting you take
all the heat on this article.

1375
01:07:30,395 --> 01:07:32,124
Your job relied on your ability
to keep secrets

1376
01:07:32,230 --> 01:07:33,322
and spin the truth.

1377
01:07:33,431 --> 01:07:35,126
I just cannot imagine a way

1378
01:07:35,233 --> 01:07:36,860
in which you could have fucked
up more.

1379
01:07:36,968 --> 01:07:39,801
There's just no way I could
possibly keep you on staff.

1380
01:07:39,905 --> 01:07:41,702
Then I assume you've run this
by the captain.

1381
01:07:41,806 --> 01:07:43,740
Captain died this morning.

1382
01:08:41,666 --> 01:08:43,600
<i>Mr. Naylor,
this is Pete in Security from the Academy.</i>

1383
01:08:43,702 --> 01:08:45,567
<i>Your things are waiting for you</i>

1384
01:08:45,670 --> 01:08:47,331
<i>at the information kiosk
in the lobby.</i>

1385
01:08:47,439 --> 01:08:48,633
<i>Look, if you don't pick your
stuff up by Friday,</i>

1386
01:08:48,740 --> 01:08:51,072
<i>we're instructed to throw it out.</i>

1387
01:08:52,844 --> 01:08:55,711
<i>Mr. Naylor, this is Special
Agent Johnson with the FBI.</i>

1388
01:08:55,814 --> 01:08:58,476
<i>Having not found any leads in
your kidnapping investigation,</i>

1389
01:08:58,583 --> 01:08:59,880
<i>we're going to be
handing over the case</i>

1390
01:08:59,985 --> 01:09:01,043
<i>to the local D.C. police,</i>

1391
01:09:01,152 --> 01:09:03,347
<i>so please refer to them
in the future</i>

1392
01:09:03,455 --> 01:09:05,047
<i>for any updates and questions.</i>

1393
01:09:06,992 --> 01:09:09,586
<i>Nick, Jack in Jeff Megall's office.</i>

1394
01:09:09,694 --> 01:09:13,130
<i>Jeff really enjoyed
meeting you the other day</i>

1395
01:09:13,231 --> 01:09:15,290
<i>and he's just... he's torn up
about the fact</i>

1396
01:09:15,400 --> 01:09:17,163
<i>that you two couldn't find
a project to work on.</i>

1397
01:09:17,268 --> 01:09:19,395
<i>He's really just... I don't know.</i>

1398
01:09:19,504 --> 01:09:21,267
<i>So, listen,
but we should hang, at least,</i>

1399
01:09:21,373 --> 01:09:23,341
<i>so you drop me a line
whenever you're in town.</i>

1400
01:09:23,441 --> 01:09:26,899
<i>Uh... my e-mail is, uh...</i>

1401
01:09:42,494 --> 01:09:44,121
Who is it?

1402
01:09:44,229 --> 01:09:46,129
It's me, Nick.

1403
01:09:48,066 --> 01:09:50,591
Jill, this is a bad time.

1404
01:09:50,702 --> 01:09:52,294
Let me in.

1405
01:09:53,638 --> 01:09:55,401
No.

1406
01:09:55,507 --> 01:09:58,476
I brought someone
who needs to talk to you.

1407
01:10:03,681 --> 01:10:04,978
Hey, buddy.

1408
01:10:05,083 --> 01:10:07,017
Hey, Dad.

1409
01:10:07,118 --> 01:10:09,143
Coke in the fridge.

1410
01:10:15,593 --> 01:10:20,360
So, this Heather Holloway,
she must have been pretty hot.

1411
01:10:20,465 --> 01:10:23,366
Yes. She's pretty hot.

1412
01:10:23,468 --> 01:10:25,493
Don't take it so hard.

1413
01:10:25,603 --> 01:10:28,231
A few flaws can be appealing.

1414
01:10:28,339 --> 01:10:29,431
Makes you human.

1415
01:10:29,541 --> 01:10:30,974
Who wants to be human?

1416
01:10:31,076 --> 01:10:32,441
Well, I know one person

1417
01:10:32,544 --> 01:10:35,513
who still thinks you're a God.

1418
01:10:52,030 --> 01:10:54,726
Why did you tell that reporter
all your secrets?

1419
01:10:57,969 --> 01:11:00,597
You're too young to understand.

1420
01:11:00,705 --> 01:11:03,799
Mom says it's because
you have dependency issues

1421
01:11:03,908 --> 01:11:05,398
and it was all just
a matter of time

1422
01:11:05,510 --> 01:11:07,671
before you threw it all away
on some tramp.

1423
01:11:07,779 --> 01:11:11,078
Well, that's one theory.

1424
01:11:11,182 --> 01:11:13,013
Why are you hiding from everyone?

1425
01:11:13,118 --> 01:11:18,715
It has something to do with
being generally hated right now.

1426
01:11:18,823 --> 01:11:20,313
But it's your job to be
generally hated.

1427
01:11:20,425 --> 01:11:23,189
It's more complicated
than that, Joey.

1428
01:11:23,294 --> 01:11:25,558
You're just making it
more complicated

1429
01:11:25,663 --> 01:11:27,221
so that you can feel
sorry for yourself.

1430
01:11:27,332 --> 01:11:29,061
Like you always said,

1431
01:11:29,167 --> 01:11:32,466
"If you want an easy job,
go work for the Red Cross."

1432
01:11:32,570 --> 01:11:34,197
You're a lobbyist.

1433
01:11:34,305 --> 01:11:37,399
Your job is to be right, and
you're the best at what you do.

1434
01:11:39,043 --> 01:11:40,442
You're the sultan of spin.

1435
01:11:41,646 --> 01:11:43,045
"Sultan of spin"?

1436
01:11:43,148 --> 01:11:44,672
<i>Mom subscribes to Newsweek.</i>

1437
01:11:46,117 --> 01:11:47,448
Who cares what the Brads

1438
01:11:47,552 --> 01:11:48,576
of the world think?

1439
01:11:48,686 --> 01:11:49,948
He's not my dad.

1440
01:11:51,656 --> 01:11:53,123
You are.

1441
01:11:53,224 --> 01:11:56,455
<i>And right there,
looking into Joey’s eyes,</i>

1442
01:11:56,561 --> 01:11:59,962
<i>it all came back in a rush.</i>

1443
01:12:00,064 --> 01:12:02,532
<i>Why I do what I do-
defending the defenseless,</i>

1444
01:12:02,634 --> 01:12:04,932
<i>protecting the disenfranchised
corporations</i>

1445
01:12:05,036 --> 01:12:07,095
<i>that have been abandoned
by their very own consumers-</i>

1446
01:12:07,205 --> 01:12:09,469
<i>the logger...</i>

1447
01:12:09,574 --> 01:12:11,804
<i>the sweatshop foreman...</i>

1448
01:12:11,910 --> 01:12:13,935
<i>the oil driller...</i>

1449
01:12:14,045 --> 01:12:16,206
<i>the land mine developer...</i>

1450
01:12:16,314 --> 01:12:19,613
<i>the baby seal poacher...</i>

1451
01:12:19,717 --> 01:12:21,116
Baby seal poacher?

1452
01:12:21,219 --> 01:12:22,584
Even I think that's kind of cruel.

1453
01:12:22,687 --> 01:12:24,780
All right, you're missing the point.

1454
01:12:24,889 --> 01:12:26,652
I must be, because I thought
you were apologizing.

1455
01:12:26,758 --> 01:12:27,725
I'm getting to that.

1456
01:12:27,825 --> 01:12:29,588
When?

1457
01:12:29,694 --> 01:12:32,162
Look.

1458
01:12:32,263 --> 01:12:37,098
The two of you, you're
basically my only friends,

1459
01:12:37,202 --> 01:12:39,500
and the last thing that
I would ever want to do

1460
01:12:39,604 --> 01:12:41,299
would be to hurt you.

1461
01:12:41,406 --> 01:12:43,271
And, I can only imagine...

1462
01:12:43,374 --> 01:12:44,398
Why are you smiling?

1463
01:12:44,509 --> 01:12:46,170
Why is he smiling?

1464
01:12:46,277 --> 01:12:48,370
He won a hundred bucks off of you.

1465
01:12:48,479 --> 01:12:51,505
I bet Polly you'd spill the beans
to that reporter.

1466
01:12:51,616 --> 01:12:54,084
That goes against everything
that we stand for.

1467
01:12:54,185 --> 01:12:56,449
Oh, please! You've ratted us out
to some reporter with tits!

1468
01:12:56,554 --> 01:12:58,454
Glorious tits.

1469
01:12:58,556 --> 01:13:00,854
Only after you created a betting
pool testing my incompetence?

1470
01:13:00,959 --> 01:13:03,018
Do you have any idea the beating
I'm taking at Moderation?

1471
01:13:03,127 --> 01:13:05,857
Well, look, I'm sure both of
you are under a lot of scrutiny.

1472
01:13:05,964 --> 01:13:08,159
You know what?
You can stop using the plural.

1473
01:13:08,266 --> 01:13:11,463
The guys at Safety actually liked
the name "Merchants of Death."

1474
01:13:11,569 --> 01:13:12,866
They're gonna have
some bumper stickers made up.

1475
01:13:12,971 --> 01:13:14,871
I'll make sure you get one.

1476
01:13:14,973 --> 01:13:16,907
Thank you.

1477
01:13:19,077 --> 01:13:20,908
That is disgusting.

1478
01:13:22,280 --> 01:13:24,009
It's American.

1479
01:13:24,115 --> 01:13:25,673
Can I have a bite?

1480
01:13:25,783 --> 01:13:27,307
Mmm.

1481
01:13:27,418 --> 01:13:29,477
So I guess this means

1482
01:13:29,587 --> 01:13:32,818
you won't be appearing
at Finistirre's subcommittee.

1483
01:13:32,924 --> 01:13:35,154
Hmm. I was kind of looking
forward to it, too.

1484
01:13:35,260 --> 01:13:38,024
It's kind of cool in
a Jimmy Stewart sort of way.

1485
01:13:38,129 --> 01:13:40,654
More like an Ollie North sort of way.

1486
01:13:40,765 --> 01:13:42,995
Finistirre would have
torn you a new asshole

1487
01:13:43,101 --> 01:13:44,625
in a House of Parliament, no less.

1488
01:13:44,736 --> 01:13:46,033
I could have taken him.

1489
01:13:46,137 --> 01:13:47,798
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah? What would you have said?

1490
01:13:47,905 --> 01:13:49,133
I don't know.

1491
01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:52,471
I'd just like him to feel
immeasurable pain,

1492
01:13:52,577 --> 01:13:54,044
humiliation.

1493
01:13:54,145 --> 01:13:55,612
Yeah, well, that would be
kind of tough.

1494
01:13:55,713 --> 01:13:57,078
I mean, he's already a Senator.

1495
01:13:59,017 --> 01:14:01,212
I mean, how would you get
back in even if you wanted to?

1496
01:14:05,256 --> 01:14:06,416
Uh-oh.

1497
01:14:12,363 --> 01:14:13,660
You're not gonna like this.

1498
01:14:16,768 --> 01:14:17,894
Hello.
Thanks very much for coming.

1499
01:14:18,002 --> 01:14:20,334
First of all, I'd like to say
a few words

1500
01:14:20,438 --> 01:14:21,564
to all the people who
are mentioned

1501
01:14:21,673 --> 01:14:23,732
in the recent newspaper article.

1502
01:14:23,841 --> 01:14:25,331
Please take comfort in knowing

1503
01:14:25,443 --> 01:14:29,209
that I will not rest until
your names are cleared.

1504
01:14:29,314 --> 01:14:31,407
This experience has taught me
an important lesson-

1505
01:14:31,516 --> 01:14:33,313
having sexual affairs
with members of the press

1506
01:14:33,418 --> 01:14:34,908
is just unfair.

1507
01:14:35,019 --> 01:14:36,850
It's not unfair to me, mind you,

1508
01:14:36,954 --> 01:14:40,412
but to all the people in my life
whose only crime is knowing me.

1509
01:14:40,525 --> 01:14:43,722
It was your names, not mine,
that suffered

1510
01:14:43,828 --> 01:14:46,353
from a meaningless affair
with a seductress

1511
01:14:46,464 --> 01:14:49,922
in the form of a young
brunette Washington reporter

1512
01:14:50,034 --> 01:14:51,592
whose name I won't mention

1513
01:14:51,703 --> 01:14:53,637
because I have dignity.

1514
01:14:55,540 --> 01:14:56,564
Mr. Naylor!

1515
01:14:56,674 --> 01:14:58,471
Are you still planning
on testifying

1516
01:14:58,576 --> 01:15:00,669
at tomorrow's subcommittee
hearing on tobacco?

1517
01:15:00,778 --> 01:15:03,042
I'm glad you asked that question.

1518
01:15:03,147 --> 01:15:04,910
There have been wide accusations of me
dropping out of tomorrow's hearing.

1519
01:15:05,016 --> 01:15:06,244
Let it be known

1520
01:15:06,351 --> 01:15:08,080
that unless Senator Finistirre
has withdrawn my invitation

1521
01:15:08,186 --> 01:15:09,619
- to speak, it is my plan
- It's called a subpoena.

1522
01:15:09,721 --> 01:15:11,552
to be in Congress tomorrow
to share my knowledge

1523
01:15:11,656 --> 01:15:13,920
of big tobacco and all those
who enjoy its products.

1524
01:15:14,025 --> 01:15:15,287
Thank you very much.
I'll see you tomorrow.

1525
01:16:14,952 --> 01:16:17,546
Still feel like Jimmy Stewart?

1526
01:16:28,566 --> 01:16:29,555
Good.

1527
01:16:37,642 --> 01:16:38,734
Why don't you all go ahead?

1528
01:16:38,843 --> 01:16:40,367
This could be a while.

1529
01:16:45,249 --> 01:16:50,277
If we could, um... if we could
take our seats, please.

1530
01:16:53,024 --> 01:16:55,584
Gentlemen, ladies.

1531
01:16:55,693 --> 01:16:58,423
If I may call this meeting to order.

1532
01:16:58,529 --> 01:17:03,296
We'll do everything we can to
keep things brief and concise

1533
01:17:03,401 --> 01:17:04,925
so that we can all
get out of here on time.

1534
01:17:05,036 --> 01:17:08,528
The skull and crossbones
means one thing:

1535
01:17:08,639 --> 01:17:10,106
Poison.

1536
01:17:10,208 --> 01:17:12,904
Thus, the message is quite clear.

1537
01:17:13,010 --> 01:17:15,171
Like any other product
that carries the branding,

1538
01:17:15,279 --> 01:17:18,510
if you take it, you will die.

1539
01:17:18,616 --> 01:17:21,676
Yes, but isn't this overkill?

1540
01:17:21,786 --> 01:17:25,051
Why don't we just use words,
as we currently do?

1541
01:17:25,156 --> 01:17:28,956
Something that describes the
dangers of cigarette smoking.

1542
01:17:29,060 --> 01:17:30,084
Well, the American public
is not affected

1543
01:17:30,194 --> 01:17:31,661
by masthead anymore.

1544
01:17:31,762 --> 01:17:32,922
They need images.

1545
01:17:33,030 --> 01:17:35,396
We've done studies
which show that consumers react

1546
01:17:35,500 --> 01:17:38,060
up to 80% more to imagery
rather than words.

1547
01:17:38,169 --> 01:17:39,466
The stats are there.

1548
01:17:39,570 --> 01:17:41,367
It's just sad

1549
01:17:41,472 --> 01:17:43,804
that the Academy of Tobacco
Studies did not release

1550
01:17:43,908 --> 01:17:45,307
this type of information earlier.

1551
01:17:45,409 --> 01:17:48,378
When you say
the Academy of Tobacco Studies,

1552
01:17:48,479 --> 01:17:49,810
you're referring to...

1553
01:17:49,914 --> 01:17:51,040
Yes.

1554
01:17:51,148 --> 01:17:52,877
to the coalition...

1555
01:17:52,984 --> 01:17:53,916
Yes, the coalition.

1556
01:17:54,018 --> 01:17:55,610
The big... big tobacco...

1557
01:17:55,720 --> 01:17:56,982
...that is represented by...

1558
01:17:57,088 --> 01:17:58,316
By, um...

1559
01:17:58,422 --> 01:17:59,548
And specifically

1560
01:17:59,657 --> 01:18:00,555
Mr...

1561
01:18:00,658 --> 01:18:01,716
Um...

1562
01:18:01,826 --> 01:18:03,418
Mr., uh, Nick Naylor.

1563
01:18:03,528 --> 01:18:04,426
Nick Naylor?

1564
01:18:04,529 --> 01:18:05,496
Thank you very much.

1565
01:18:07,498 --> 01:18:08,396
<i>The current use</i>

1566
01:18:08,499 --> 01:18:10,126
of words instead of imagery

1567
01:18:10,234 --> 01:18:13,829
is an obvious move against
the non-English-speaking population

1568
01:18:13,938 --> 01:18:15,405
of the United States.

1569
01:18:15,506 --> 01:18:17,633
The skull and crossbones

1570
01:18:17,742 --> 01:18:21,109
speak loudly in all languages.

1571
01:18:21,212 --> 01:18:23,806
By not using it,
they're saying

1572
01:18:23,915 --> 01:18:27,942
they want those who can't
read English to die.

1573
01:18:28,052 --> 01:18:29,815
Hmm. Senor Herrera,

1574
01:18:29,921 --> 01:18:32,754
could you clarify "they"?

1575
01:18:32,857 --> 01:18:34,154
<i>Let it be known,</i>

1576
01:18:34,258 --> 01:18:36,726
<i>the public beating
has not gone out of style.</i>

1577
01:18:44,068 --> 01:18:46,229
Nick Naylor, please step forward.

1578
01:18:55,947 --> 01:18:58,575
You go sit with him.

1579
01:19:06,958 --> 01:19:09,950
Please state your name,
address and current occupation.

1580
01:19:10,061 --> 01:19:11,187
My name is Nick Naylor.

1581
01:19:11,295 --> 01:19:13,058
I live at 6000
Massachusetts Avenue

1582
01:19:13,164 --> 01:19:15,064
and I am currently unemployed,

1583
01:19:15,166 --> 01:19:17,293
but until recently,
I was the vice president

1584
01:19:17,401 --> 01:19:18,891
of the Academy of Tobacco Studies.

1585
01:19:19,003 --> 01:19:19,901
Mr. Naylor,

1586
01:19:20,004 --> 01:19:23,462
as vice president
of the Academy

1587
01:19:23,574 --> 01:19:25,542
of Tobacco Studies,
what was required of you?

1588
01:19:25,643 --> 01:19:26,871
What did you do?

1589
01:19:26,978 --> 01:19:30,470
I informed the public
of all the research performed

1590
01:19:30,581 --> 01:19:32,572
in the investigation
on the effects of tobacco.

1591
01:19:32,683 --> 01:19:33,809
Mm-hmm,
and what,

1592
01:19:33,918 --> 01:19:36,478
so far,
has the Academy concluded

1593
01:19:36,587 --> 01:19:39,021
in their investigation
into the effects of tobacco?

1594
01:19:39,123 --> 01:19:41,387
Well, many things, actually.

1595
01:19:41,492 --> 01:19:43,255
Why, just the other day
they uncovered evidence

1596
01:19:43,361 --> 01:19:45,192
that smoking can offset
Parkinson's disease.

1597
01:19:47,131 --> 01:19:48,359
I'm sure the health
community

1598
01:19:48,466 --> 01:19:49,592
is thrilled.

1599
01:19:49,700 --> 01:19:52,601
Mr. Naylor, who provides
the financial backing

1600
01:19:52,703 --> 01:19:54,671
for the Academy of Tobacco Studies?

1601
01:19:54,772 --> 01:19:58,037
Uh... Conglomerated Tobacco.

1602
01:19:58,142 --> 01:19:59,837
That's the cigarette companies.

1603
01:19:59,944 --> 01:20:02,003
For the most part, yes.

1604
01:20:02,113 --> 01:20:05,014
Do you think that...

1605
01:20:05,116 --> 01:20:07,084
might affect their priorities?

1606
01:20:07,184 --> 01:20:08,515
No, just as I'm sure

1607
01:20:08,619 --> 01:20:10,450
campaign contributions
don't affect yours.

1608
01:20:10,554 --> 01:20:11,578
Ohh.

1609
01:20:13,557 --> 01:20:16,788
Senators, Mr. Naylor is not here
to testify on the goings-on

1610
01:20:16,894 --> 01:20:18,691
of the Academy of Tobacco Studies.

1611
01:20:18,796 --> 01:20:20,855
We're here to examine
the possibility

1612
01:20:20,965 --> 01:20:22,364
of a warning logo on cigarettes.

1613
01:20:22,466 --> 01:20:23,433
Now, Mr. Naylor,

1614
01:20:23,534 --> 01:20:25,058
I have to ask you,
out of formality,

1615
01:20:25,169 --> 01:20:27,137
do you believe that smoking
cigarettes, over time,

1616
01:20:27,238 --> 01:20:30,469
can lead to lung cancer and
other respiratory conditions

1617
01:20:30,574 --> 01:20:31,768
such as emphysema?

1618
01:20:33,644 --> 01:20:35,134
Yes.

1619
01:20:37,982 --> 01:20:38,880
In fact, I think you'd be
hard-pressed

1620
01:20:38,983 --> 01:20:40,075
to find someone
who really believes

1621
01:20:40,184 --> 01:20:42,152
that cigarettes are not
potentially harmful.

1622
01:20:42,253 --> 01:20:44,483
I mean, show of hands,
who out here thinks

1623
01:20:44,588 --> 01:20:46,078
- that cigarettes aren't dangerous...
- Mr. Naylor.

1624
01:20:46,190 --> 01:20:49,318
There's no need for theatrics.

1625
01:20:49,427 --> 01:20:51,987
Sir, I just don't see the point in a warning
label for something people already know.

1626
01:20:52,096 --> 01:20:53,393
The warning symbol

1627
01:20:53,497 --> 01:20:57,126
is a reminder, a reminder of the
dangers of smoking cigarettes.

1628
01:20:57,234 --> 01:20:59,065
Well, if we want to remind
people of danger,

1629
01:20:59,170 --> 01:21:00,694
why don't we slap
a skull and crossbones

1630
01:21:00,805 --> 01:21:01,772
on all Boeing airplanes,

1631
01:21:01,872 --> 01:21:03,305
Senator Lothridge?

1632
01:21:03,407 --> 01:21:04,339
And all Fords, Senator Dupree?

1633
01:21:04,442 --> 01:21:06,774
That is ridiculous.

1634
01:21:06,877 --> 01:21:09,175
The death toll from airline
and automobile accidents

1635
01:21:09,280 --> 01:21:11,339
doesn't even skim the surface
of cigarettes.

1636
01:21:11,449 --> 01:21:12,507
They don't even compare.

1637
01:21:12,616 --> 01:21:14,675
Oh, this from a senator
who calls Vermont home.

1638
01:21:14,785 --> 01:21:16,912
I don't follow you, Mr. Naylor.

1639
01:21:17,021 --> 01:21:18,682
Well, the real

1640
01:21:18,789 --> 01:21:21,349
demonstrated number one killer
in America is cholesterol,

1641
01:21:21,459 --> 01:21:22,448
and here comes
Senator Finistirre,

1642
01:21:22,560 --> 01:21:24,790
whose fine state is,
I regret to say,

1643
01:21:24,895 --> 01:21:27,921
clogging the nation's arteries
with Vermont cheddar cheese.

1644
01:21:29,567 --> 01:21:32,297
If we want to talk numbers,
how about the millions of people

1645
01:21:32,403 --> 01:21:33,370
dying of heart attacks.

1646
01:21:33,471 --> 01:21:34,733
Perhaps Vermont cheddar

1647
01:21:34,839 --> 01:21:37,205
should come
with a skull and crossbones.

1648
01:21:37,308 --> 01:21:39,139
That is lud...

1649
01:21:39,243 --> 01:21:40,210
The great state of Vermont

1650
01:21:40,311 --> 01:21:41,869
will not apologize for its cheese.

1651
01:21:41,979 --> 01:21:42,946
Mr. Naylor,

1652
01:21:43,047 --> 01:21:44,537
we are here to discuss cigarettes.

1653
01:21:44,648 --> 01:21:48,277
Not planes, not cars- cigarettes.

1654
01:21:48,385 --> 01:21:51,047
Now, as we discussed earlier,
these warning labels

1655
01:21:51,155 --> 01:21:54,352
are not for those who know, but
rather for those who don't know.

1656
01:21:56,327 --> 01:21:58,318
What about the children?

1657
01:21:58,429 --> 01:22:00,454
Gentlemen...

1658
01:22:00,564 --> 01:22:02,498
it's called education.

1659
01:22:02,600 --> 01:22:04,465
It doesn't come off the side
of a cigarette carton.

1660
01:22:04,568 --> 01:22:05,626
It comes from our teachers,

1661
01:22:05,736 --> 01:22:07,795
and more importantly, our parents.

1662
01:22:07,905 --> 01:22:11,033
It is the job
of every parent

1663
01:22:11,142 --> 01:22:14,771
to warn their children of all
the dangers of the world,

1664
01:22:14,879 --> 01:22:17,439
including cigarettes, so that
one day, when they get older,

1665
01:22:17,548 --> 01:22:19,379
they can choose for themselves.

1666
01:22:21,619 --> 01:22:24,782
I look at my... son

1667
01:22:24,889 --> 01:22:26,288
who...

1668
01:22:26,390 --> 01:22:28,221
was kind enough
to come with me today,

1669
01:22:28,325 --> 01:22:30,816
and I can't help but think

1670
01:22:30,928 --> 01:22:33,192
that I am responsible
for his growth

1671
01:22:33,297 --> 01:22:35,424
and his development.

1672
01:22:35,533 --> 01:22:37,057
And I'm proud of that.

1673
01:22:37,168 --> 01:22:38,430
Well, having
said that,

1674
01:22:38,536 --> 01:22:41,096
would you condone him smoking?

1675
01:22:41,205 --> 01:22:43,537
Well, of course not.
He's not 18.

1676
01:22:43,641 --> 01:22:44,699
That would be illegal.

1677
01:22:45,976 --> 01:22:48,069
<i>Yes, I-I heard you deliver
that line on 20-20,</i>

1678
01:22:48,179 --> 01:22:49,544
but enough dancing.

1679
01:22:49,647 --> 01:22:51,979
What are you going to do
when he turns 18?

1680
01:22:53,651 --> 01:22:55,209
Come on, Mr. Naylor.

1681
01:22:55,319 --> 01:22:58,880
On his 18th birthday, will
you share a cigarette with him?

1682
01:22:58,989 --> 01:23:01,219
Will you spend
a lovely afternoon,

1683
01:23:01,325 --> 01:23:03,486
like one of your ludicrous
cigarette advertisements?

1684
01:23:03,594 --> 01:23:05,118
You seem to have a lot to say

1685
01:23:05,229 --> 01:23:06,560
about how we
should raise our children.

1686
01:23:06,664 --> 01:23:07,631
What of your own?

1687
01:23:07,731 --> 01:23:10,199
What are you
going to do

1688
01:23:10,301 --> 01:23:12,599
when he turns 18?

1689
01:23:19,210 --> 01:23:22,873
If he really wants a cigarette,
I'll buy him his first pack.

1690
01:23:27,618 --> 01:23:30,451
Thank you for your testimony,
Mr. Naylor. You're excused.

1691
01:23:37,294 --> 01:23:38,727
I'll meet you outside, okay?

1692
01:23:51,308 --> 01:23:52,866
Great.

1693
01:23:52,977 --> 01:23:54,103
Well done, my boy.

1694
01:23:54,211 --> 01:23:56,338
Were you in the same room as me?

1695
01:23:56,447 --> 01:23:57,539
The whole personal choice thing?

1696
01:23:57,648 --> 01:23:58,774
They ate that shit up.

1697
01:23:58,883 --> 01:24:00,714
Just checked the whip count.

1698
01:24:00,818 --> 01:24:02,217
That bill is going down in flames.

1699
01:24:02,319 --> 01:24:05,152
Your speech was unorthodox,
but you did it, boy.

1700
01:24:05,256 --> 01:24:06,154
You crushed the fucker.

1701
01:24:06,257 --> 01:24:07,383
That's good news for you guys.

1702
01:24:07,491 --> 01:24:08,890
Oh. Whoa, whoa.

1703
01:24:08,993 --> 01:24:11,894
We're still a team, right?

1704
01:24:11,996 --> 01:24:13,964
What about damage control?

1705
01:24:15,466 --> 01:24:16,831
Look, Nick.

1706
01:24:16,934 --> 01:24:20,529
Winston-Salem is ready
to do whatever it takes

1707
01:24:20,638 --> 01:24:22,162
to keep you onboard.

1708
01:24:30,414 --> 01:24:33,474
Nick, will you continue
fighting for cigarettes?

1709
01:24:33,584 --> 01:24:34,915
Of course he will.

1710
01:24:35,019 --> 01:24:36,987
This man here is our general.

1711
01:24:37,087 --> 01:24:38,850
We're not just gonna let him retire.

1712
01:24:38,956 --> 01:24:39,980
Is that correct, Nick?

1713
01:24:40,090 --> 01:24:41,580
You're sticking with tobacco?

1714
01:24:45,629 --> 01:24:49,121
<i>Now, I know what
you're probably thinking.</i>

1715
01:24:49,233 --> 01:24:50,393
<i>What a great opportunity for me</i>

1716
01:24:50,501 --> 01:24:52,093
<i>to teach Joey
how to use leverage against</i>

1717
01:24:52,202 --> 01:24:53,794
<i>a backstabbing boss.</i>

1718
01:24:53,904 --> 01:24:57,340
<i>But I actually meant what
I said about responsibility.</i>

1719
01:24:57,441 --> 01:25:01,070
<i>Some things
are just more important</i>

1720
01:25:01,178 --> 01:25:02,338
<i>than paying a mortgage.</i>

1721
01:25:02,446 --> 01:25:05,040
<i>So I did the only responsible
thing I could.</i>

1722
01:25:05,149 --> 01:25:07,913
<i>I turned down the job.</i>

1723
01:25:08,018 --> 01:25:10,350
<i>And my timing
couldn't have been better.</i>

1724
01:25:10,454 --> 01:25:12,752
<i>Within a few months,
the cigarette companies</i>

1725
01:25:12,856 --> 01:25:14,255
<i>settled
with the American smoker</i>

1726
01:25:14,358 --> 01:25:17,020
<i>to the tune of $246 billion.</i>

1727
01:25:18,195 --> 01:25:20,527
<i>And the Academy
of Tobacco Studies</i>

1728
01:25:20,631 --> 01:25:22,394
<i>was permanently dismantled.</i>

1729
01:25:22,499 --> 01:25:24,797
<i>For the first time in decades,</i>

1730
01:25:24,902 --> 01:25:26,597
<i>BR found himself out of work.</i>

1731
01:25:28,372 --> 01:25:30,465
<i>Otherwise, not much has changed.</i>

1732
01:25:30,574 --> 01:25:32,735
<i>The MOD squad still meets every week.</i>

1733
01:25:32,843 --> 01:25:34,140
Nice.

1734
01:25:34,244 --> 01:25:36,508
<i>We even added a few new members.</i>

1735
01:25:36,613 --> 01:25:39,411
The things I could learn
from you, BobbyJay.

1736
01:25:39,516 --> 01:25:40,505
Right.

1737
01:25:40,617 --> 01:25:42,050
Stick around. Stick around.

1738
01:25:42,152 --> 01:25:44,882
<i>Senator Finistirre is still
fighting for his causes.</i>

1739
01:25:44,989 --> 01:25:46,752
What do you say
to the people who claim

1740
01:25:46,857 --> 01:25:48,791
you are destroying cinema classics?

1741
01:25:48,892 --> 01:25:50,519
Mmm, no. All
we're doing

1742
01:25:50,627 --> 01:25:52,288
is using
digital technology

1743
01:25:52,396 --> 01:25:55,559
to tastefully update
movies of the past...

1744
01:25:55,666 --> 01:25:57,224
by removing cigarettes.

1745
01:25:57,334 --> 01:26:00,565
<i>I believe that if these
stars were alive today,</i>

1746
01:26:00,671 --> 01:26:03,105
<i>they would agree that
we're doing the right thing.</i>

1747
01:26:03,207 --> 01:26:04,936
But, in essence, aren't
you changing history?

1748
01:26:05,042 --> 01:26:08,978
No, I think we're improving history.

1749
01:26:10,848 --> 01:26:12,179
<i>Even Heather is still reporting.</i>

1750
01:26:12,282 --> 01:26:13,647
The whole town has been evacuated.

1751
01:26:13,751 --> 01:26:19,053
They're calling this
the storm of the century.

1752
01:26:19,156 --> 01:26:20,487
<i>Not much changes at all.</i>

1753
01:26:20,591 --> 01:26:25,290
And this year's Foggy Bottom
Debating Society Champion is...

1754
01:26:25,396 --> 01:26:26,385
Joey Naylor.

1755
01:26:26,497 --> 01:26:27,657
- Yay!
- Yay!

1756
01:26:27,765 --> 01:26:28,663
Joey!

1757
01:26:28,766 --> 01:26:29,664
Joey!

1758
01:26:29,767 --> 01:26:30,665
Joey, Joey!

1759
01:26:30,768 --> 01:26:32,292
That's my boy.

1760
01:26:32,403 --> 01:26:33,961
Hold it up. Hold it up.

1761
01:26:37,608 --> 01:26:39,633
<i>And me?</i>

1762
01:26:39,743 --> 01:26:42,439
<i>Well, there's still a place
for guys like me.</i>

1763
01:26:42,546 --> 01:26:45,174
So, be straight with me.

1764
01:26:45,282 --> 01:26:48,012
Is it true?

1765
01:26:48,118 --> 01:26:49,517
- It could be.
- Come on.

1766
01:26:49,620 --> 01:26:51,713
We know of very few cases.

1767
01:26:51,822 --> 01:26:52,948
There's no scientific proof at all.

1768
01:26:53,057 --> 01:26:53,955
There was an unfortunate
incident out in Iowa...

1769
01:26:54,058 --> 01:26:55,025
It's really a complicated situation.

1770
01:26:55,125 --> 01:26:56,319
Gentlemen,

1771
01:26:56,427 --> 01:26:59,021
practice these words
in front of the mirror.

1772
01:26:59,129 --> 01:27:02,098
"Although we are constantly
exploring the subject,

1773
01:27:02,199 --> 01:27:04,895
"currently,
there is no direct evidence

1774
01:27:05,002 --> 01:27:06,401
"that links cell phone usage

1775
01:27:06,503 --> 01:27:08,368
to brain cancer."

1776
01:27:14,878 --> 01:27:16,675
<i>Michael Jordan plays ball.</i>

1777
01:27:16,780 --> 01:27:18,338
<i>Charles Manson kills people.</i>

1778
01:27:18,449 --> 01:27:19,916
<i>I talk.</i>

1779
01:27:21,585 --> 01:27:22,711
<i>Everyone has a talent.</i>