1 00:00:39,333 --> 00:00:40,968 As many of you know, 2 00:00:40,968 --> 00:00:43,270 the past few months of my life have been very difficult. 3 00:00:43,303 --> 00:00:45,906 I don't know how I would have gotten through it without all of you. 4 00:00:45,939 --> 00:00:49,309 I really think it's a testament of the love in this institution 5 00:00:49,343 --> 00:00:50,677 that I stand before you today 6 00:00:50,711 --> 00:00:52,646 as the first straight-C student in school history 7 00:00:52,679 --> 00:00:54,248 to be voted valedictorian. 8 00:00:54,281 --> 00:00:57,050 While I may not have excelled in the classroom, 9 00:00:57,084 --> 00:00:59,286 I think that my recent experiences 10 00:00:59,319 --> 00:01:01,054 in that bigger schoolhouse we call life 11 00:01:01,088 --> 00:01:04,792 has taught me a few lessons I'd like to share with my fellow graduates: 12 00:01:04,825 --> 00:01:06,593 Follow your heart and don't question it, 13 00:01:06,627 --> 00:01:08,695 no matter where it tells you to go. 14 00:01:08,729 --> 00:01:12,533 Trust me, it'll open up a world of new experiences you can't even imagine. 15 00:01:12,566 --> 00:01:15,569 I bet you're wondering what a straight-C student is doing 16 00:01:15,602 --> 00:01:17,671 giving a valedictorian speech. 17 00:01:17,704 --> 00:01:19,473 It wasn't easy, believe me. 18 00:01:19,506 --> 00:01:21,809 But with desire, focus 19 00:01:21,809 --> 00:01:24,478 and the willingness to treat any obstacle as an opportunity, 20 00:01:24,511 --> 00:01:26,246 it's amazing what you can accomplish. 21 00:01:31,185 --> 00:01:33,654 See, I was blessed with a terrific mom... 22 00:01:33,687 --> 00:01:37,124 not only is she a lush, but she also hates me. 23 00:01:38,258 --> 00:01:39,827 A couple of days before my birthday, 24 00:01:39,860 --> 00:01:42,463 I overhear her ordering me a male stripper. 25 00:01:42,496 --> 00:01:43,697 Nothing says "I love you" 26 00:01:43,697 --> 00:01:45,766 like 10" of man meat popping out of a cake. 27 00:01:45,799 --> 00:01:47,701 And knowing dear old Mom, 28 00:01:47,735 --> 00:01:49,403 she'll try and nail him after the party, 29 00:01:49,436 --> 00:01:52,005 but not before she tends to more important business 30 00:01:52,039 --> 00:01:55,109 with her new best friend Jelena Mariskova Flachsman, 31 00:01:55,142 --> 00:01:58,412 the imported trophy wife of our family lawyer Irv Flachsman. 32 00:01:59,413 --> 00:02:02,449 Peggy told me you found a new masseur. 33 00:02:02,449 --> 00:02:05,586 - I hear he's... - You heard right. 34 00:02:07,788 --> 00:02:10,124 So can I have his number? 35 00:02:10,157 --> 00:02:13,026 Ahem... we'll see. 36 00:02:23,303 --> 00:02:25,205 That guy next to Flachsman... 37 00:02:25,239 --> 00:02:27,141 our neighbor Mike Rudell... 38 00:02:27,174 --> 00:02:29,209 big-shot TV producer and the guy my mom screws 39 00:02:29,243 --> 00:02:30,744 whenever the batteries run out. 40 00:02:30,778 --> 00:02:33,313 I'm totally addicted to his new show. 41 00:02:33,347 --> 00:02:36,116 Welcome to "Absolutely Positive," 42 00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:38,919 the show where we give couples who are about to get married 43 00:02:38,952 --> 00:02:41,422 one last chance to make sure they're... 44 00:02:41,455 --> 00:02:44,258 - Absolutely positive! - That's right! 45 00:02:56,336 --> 00:02:58,372 See, I just don't understand people 46 00:02:58,405 --> 00:03:00,574 who live their lives as one big routine. 47 00:03:00,607 --> 00:03:02,042 They're basically saying, 48 00:03:02,076 --> 00:03:04,578 "I'm not worthy of a unique experience on this earth." 49 00:03:04,611 --> 00:03:06,647 Well, sorry, but I am. 50 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,116 What the hell is going on? I told you to wait! 51 00:03:09,149 --> 00:03:11,718 For God's sake, she's not even here, you moron! 52 00:03:18,225 --> 00:03:19,526 Shake it, baby! 53 00:03:33,140 --> 00:03:35,609 My mother moved out to LA from Ohio 54 00:03:35,642 --> 00:03:37,911 when she was 20 to become an actress. 55 00:03:37,945 --> 00:03:40,514 After a few years, she got knocked up by a sleazeball producer 56 00:03:40,547 --> 00:03:43,350 who told her she couldn't be on his show unless she hoovered me out. 57 00:03:43,383 --> 00:03:46,353 Mom was no genius, but she was smart enough 58 00:03:46,386 --> 00:03:48,689 to realize that 18 years of child support 59 00:03:48,689 --> 00:03:50,991 was better than a couple of weeks on his dumb show, 60 00:03:51,024 --> 00:03:52,826 so I got to stick around. 61 00:03:52,860 --> 00:03:55,396 What Mom didn't count on was the prick having a heart attack 62 00:03:55,429 --> 00:03:56,997 and croaking a year after I was born. 63 00:03:59,733 --> 00:04:03,003 Look at me... see what a happy baby I was? 64 00:04:03,036 --> 00:04:05,906 That's because I wasn't old enough to understand why she had me. 65 00:04:08,876 --> 00:04:10,944 Here's me on my first day of school. 66 00:04:10,978 --> 00:04:12,579 Why am I smiling? 67 00:04:12,613 --> 00:04:14,248 Because I got to spend seven hours a day 68 00:04:14,281 --> 00:04:17,151 with adults who didn't reek of menthols and cheap Scotch. 69 00:04:21,021 --> 00:04:22,956 That's me at my friend Kayla's house. 70 00:04:22,990 --> 00:04:25,292 There weren't any sleepovers at my house. 71 00:04:25,325 --> 00:04:27,795 I couldn't risk it after one of the scumbags Mom brought home 72 00:04:27,828 --> 00:04:31,031 tried to feel me up after she passed out. 73 00:04:31,065 --> 00:04:33,233 Kayla's dad took this one, too. 74 00:04:33,233 --> 00:04:35,436 Mom was sucking off her producer to get an audition 75 00:04:35,469 --> 00:04:37,237 for some lame show called "Bikini Cove." 76 00:04:37,271 --> 00:04:39,473 Got there late and missed the whole thing. 77 00:04:44,678 --> 00:04:46,380 Anyway, as far as my graduation, 78 00:04:46,413 --> 00:04:48,549 this time she had a great excuse for missing it. 79 00:04:48,582 --> 00:04:51,185 Mini! Mini! 80 00:04:55,089 --> 00:04:57,891 When I call you, I expect you to answer. 81 00:04:57,925 --> 00:04:59,760 Sorry. 82 00:04:59,793 --> 00:05:01,929 Don't patronize me. 83 00:05:01,962 --> 00:05:04,665 - Sorry. - If you're trying to get me to call you 84 00:05:04,698 --> 00:05:07,000 a spoiled little ungrateful bitch, you're outta luck. 85 00:05:07,034 --> 00:05:08,969 I won't give you the satisfaction. 86 00:05:09,937 --> 00:05:11,905 Thanks, Mommy. 87 00:05:11,939 --> 00:05:14,475 I'm going out and I need you to wait here 88 00:05:14,508 --> 00:05:16,443 for a delivery from the liquor store. 89 00:05:16,477 --> 00:05:18,212 He should be here by 7:00. 90 00:05:18,245 --> 00:05:20,481 Fine. 91 00:05:20,514 --> 00:05:22,449 Hmm. 92 00:05:24,551 --> 00:05:26,954 You should know that skirt makes your thighs look fat. 93 00:05:28,622 --> 00:05:30,424 Gosh, you're right, Mom. 94 00:05:30,457 --> 00:05:32,259 I'm such a cow. 95 00:05:32,292 --> 00:05:36,163 Honey, if I don't tell you these things, 96 00:05:36,196 --> 00:05:37,831 who will? 97 00:05:37,865 --> 00:05:40,100 - Okay. Thanks. - You're welcome. 98 00:05:40,134 --> 00:05:41,935 It's funny how my fat thighs 99 00:05:41,969 --> 00:05:44,538 never seemed to bother what's-his-name from the liquor store. 100 00:05:44,571 --> 00:05:47,574 Hey, Mini. How're you doing? 101 00:05:53,947 --> 00:05:57,551 So Mom spent the next 12 years trying to bag another elephant. 102 00:05:57,584 --> 00:06:00,287 Then five years ago, she met Martin. 103 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,990 He's a partner at a public relation's firm, 104 00:06:03,023 --> 00:06:04,892 which is ironic because I can't remember 105 00:06:04,925 --> 00:06:06,927 the last time they were seen in public together, 106 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,595 or had relations. 107 00:06:10,197 --> 00:06:12,266 You're home early. 108 00:06:13,534 --> 00:06:15,402 Yeah, um... 109 00:06:15,436 --> 00:06:18,105 client canceled our dinner. 110 00:06:18,138 --> 00:06:20,107 Protecting all those poor, defenseless oil companies 111 00:06:20,140 --> 00:06:21,642 from those big bad environmentalists? 112 00:06:21,675 --> 00:06:24,511 Well, somebody's gotta make the payments on your Beamer. 113 00:06:24,545 --> 00:06:26,346 Is your mother home? 114 00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:28,515 No, she went to some party off Beachwood. 115 00:06:28,549 --> 00:06:30,417 She was in one of her happy moods, 116 00:06:30,451 --> 00:06:32,319 so I doubt she'll be sleeping here, 117 00:06:32,352 --> 00:06:35,089 in case you were thinking of inviting a guest over. 118 00:06:37,424 --> 00:06:39,693 I wasn't, but thanks for your concern. 119 00:06:39,727 --> 00:06:41,562 You're going out on a school night? 120 00:06:41,595 --> 00:06:44,131 Yeah. 121 00:06:44,164 --> 00:06:45,933 Hmm. 122 00:06:45,966 --> 00:06:47,668 Have you finished your homework? 123 00:06:47,701 --> 00:06:49,803 I haven't even cracked a book. 124 00:06:51,004 --> 00:06:52,606 To understand me, 125 00:06:52,639 --> 00:06:55,008 you need to understand that life, in my opinion, 126 00:06:55,042 --> 00:06:57,044 is all about new experiences. 127 00:06:57,077 --> 00:06:58,746 "Firsts" is what I call them. 128 00:06:58,779 --> 00:07:00,881 And the goal of life... any life... 129 00:07:00,881 --> 00:07:03,350 should be to cram as many firsts into it as possible. 130 00:07:03,383 --> 00:07:06,086 After popping out of the cake, I knew I had to top it, 131 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,021 but it was tough... 132 00:07:08,055 --> 00:07:10,724 skydiving, bungee jumping? 133 00:07:10,758 --> 00:07:13,894 Please. It's more dangerous getting on the freeway every day. 134 00:07:15,596 --> 00:07:18,465 Then one night while cruising through Hollywood, it hit me. 135 00:07:18,499 --> 00:07:21,435 So I went to an escort service just to see what would happen. 136 00:07:21,468 --> 00:07:23,637 When they found out how young I was, 137 00:07:23,670 --> 00:07:26,173 they told me they had a trick for me that night. 138 00:07:26,206 --> 00:07:29,510 My first night as a call girl was a serious letdown. 139 00:07:29,543 --> 00:07:31,945 The guy said I looked so much like his niece, 140 00:07:31,979 --> 00:07:34,648 he just started whimpering and praying for forgiveness. 141 00:07:46,427 --> 00:07:48,829 Honey, what are you doing here? 142 00:07:48,862 --> 00:07:51,732 Did you have fun tonight, honey? 143 00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:55,536 For my first night turning tricks, 144 00:07:55,569 --> 00:07:57,137 it could have been better. 145 00:07:57,171 --> 00:07:59,406 That's nice. 146 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,442 That's so nice. 147 00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:12,653 Nice, Mom. 148 00:08:12,686 --> 00:08:14,521 In my bed. 149 00:08:20,027 --> 00:08:22,463 After that night, I told the escort service, 150 00:08:22,496 --> 00:08:24,531 "No more clients with a conscience." 151 00:08:24,565 --> 00:08:26,633 They were happy to oblige with a last-minute gig 152 00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:29,002 at a corporate fuckpad an executive keeps. 153 00:08:30,270 --> 00:08:34,208 They said I was just his type... young. 154 00:08:38,011 --> 00:08:39,413 It's open. 155 00:08:47,488 --> 00:08:50,190 Hello? 156 00:08:50,224 --> 00:08:51,892 Can you fucking believe it? 157 00:08:54,762 --> 00:08:57,030 Uh, hi. 158 00:08:58,599 --> 00:09:00,401 Sorry I'm late. 159 00:09:00,434 --> 00:09:02,703 It's okay. 160 00:09:02,736 --> 00:09:05,239 Mind if I freshen up? 161 00:09:05,272 --> 00:09:07,341 No, go right ahead. 162 00:09:10,277 --> 00:09:11,979 My own stepdad? 163 00:09:12,012 --> 00:09:14,348 My first thought was "How sick is he?" 164 00:09:14,381 --> 00:09:17,117 But then I started thinking, "I'm one to talk, 165 00:09:17,151 --> 00:09:18,886 and well, why not? 166 00:09:18,919 --> 00:09:20,587 I mean, he isn't my real dad, 167 00:09:20,621 --> 00:09:22,356 and talk about a first." 168 00:09:22,389 --> 00:09:26,260 Then I thought, "If my mom can do some strange guy in my bed, 169 00:09:26,293 --> 00:09:28,328 I can do her strange guy in this bed." 170 00:09:28,362 --> 00:09:30,030 You doing okay in there? 171 00:09:30,064 --> 00:09:33,500 Just peachy. 172 00:09:33,534 --> 00:09:36,970 Listen, sugar, would you mind turning the lights off? 173 00:09:37,004 --> 00:09:39,073 See, I'm kinda new to all this and a little shy. 174 00:09:39,106 --> 00:09:40,674 No problem, 175 00:09:40,707 --> 00:09:43,744 but do you think maybe we could get this show on the road? 176 00:09:57,324 --> 00:09:59,126 Now close your eyes. 177 00:10:00,594 --> 00:10:02,129 Come on. 178 00:10:04,098 --> 00:10:06,900 You won't keep them shut for long. 179 00:10:09,503 --> 00:10:11,472 Just don't look around. 180 00:10:11,505 --> 00:10:13,974 Now, close your eyes. 181 00:10:36,463 --> 00:10:39,299 I literally couldn't feel the ground under my feet... 182 00:10:39,333 --> 00:10:41,368 a first to top all firsts. 183 00:10:41,402 --> 00:10:44,204 I knew I'd tell him one day, but I wanted to savor it for a while. 184 00:10:44,238 --> 00:10:46,807 Hey, you forgot your keys. 185 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:50,110 Oh well, here's to immediate gratification. 186 00:10:59,186 --> 00:11:00,454 You were great. 187 00:11:02,122 --> 00:11:04,625 What? 188 00:11:11,799 --> 00:11:13,600 Oh... 189 00:12:08,622 --> 00:12:10,791 Suddenly, he was coming home every night 190 00:12:10,824 --> 00:12:13,394 and even started asking me about my homework. 191 00:12:14,428 --> 00:12:16,330 How're you doin', kiddo? 192 00:12:16,363 --> 00:12:18,399 How are you making out with those math problems? 193 00:12:18,432 --> 00:12:22,403 'Cause, you know, if you ever need any help, I could... you know. 194 00:12:22,436 --> 00:12:26,640 Actually, I was thinking about starting a 401K plan at work. 195 00:12:26,673 --> 00:12:28,842 Could you help me pick a good mutual fund? 196 00:12:35,382 --> 00:12:37,418 All you did was kiss? 197 00:12:37,451 --> 00:12:39,153 Yeah, you don't believe me? 198 00:12:39,153 --> 00:12:40,454 No, of course, I believe you. 199 00:12:40,487 --> 00:12:42,056 Yo, Kayla, I got some more 200 00:12:42,089 --> 00:12:45,125 of what you were looking for last Saturday night. 201 00:12:45,159 --> 00:12:46,927 Aw, yeah yeah. 202 00:12:48,529 --> 00:12:50,531 Actually, Troy, I think you confused her 203 00:12:50,564 --> 00:12:52,766 with that senile, toothless grandmother of yours. 204 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,302 Come on, man. 205 00:12:55,335 --> 00:12:56,937 Yo, Mini, 206 00:12:56,970 --> 00:12:59,173 why don't you use that mouth for something useful 207 00:12:59,206 --> 00:13:01,075 and suck my dick? 208 00:13:01,108 --> 00:13:02,509 Aw, yeah! 209 00:13:02,543 --> 00:13:04,011 All right. 210 00:13:05,012 --> 00:13:07,014 Hey! What the fu... 211 00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:09,383 Let me suck your dick, Troy. You said I could. 212 00:13:09,416 --> 00:13:11,985 - Yo, this ain't funny! - Come on, baby, take it out! 213 00:13:14,922 --> 00:13:16,623 I'm on my knees, Troy, come on! 214 00:13:16,657 --> 00:13:18,659 Jesus Christ, Mini! What the fuck? 215 00:13:18,692 --> 00:13:19,793 God damn, Mini! 216 00:13:19,827 --> 00:13:21,929 Wait, I almost had it. I almost had it. 217 00:13:21,962 --> 00:13:23,564 Here it comes! 218 00:13:25,999 --> 00:13:28,168 What's wrong, stage fright? 219 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,274 Thank you. 220 00:14:00,067 --> 00:14:02,002 I want you to know 221 00:14:02,035 --> 00:14:03,637 that I feel horrible. 222 00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:08,609 And not about what happened, because that was an accident. 223 00:14:08,642 --> 00:14:10,844 But I just keep thinking 224 00:14:10,878 --> 00:14:13,881 I didn't know that you were doing that. 225 00:14:13,914 --> 00:14:17,017 And I just wonder how things might have been 226 00:14:17,051 --> 00:14:18,952 if you... 227 00:14:18,986 --> 00:14:21,488 had a real father. 228 00:14:23,857 --> 00:14:25,726 So what are you saying, Martin? 229 00:14:25,759 --> 00:14:27,995 You wanna be my father now? 230 00:14:34,802 --> 00:14:36,537 To be perfectly honest, 231 00:14:36,570 --> 00:14:38,572 I loved it. Talk about electric. 232 00:14:38,605 --> 00:14:40,541 Knowing that any moment she could walk in 233 00:14:40,574 --> 00:14:42,209 was better than any drug. 234 00:15:07,601 --> 00:15:10,971 Mom thought it was cute how we'd suddenly grown so close, 235 00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:15,409 and thought it was wonderful how Martin had taken an interest in my education. 236 00:15:23,717 --> 00:15:26,754 Mini? Mini? 237 00:15:26,787 --> 00:15:28,722 What, you don't know how to knock? 238 00:15:28,756 --> 00:15:30,224 Have you seen Martin? 239 00:15:30,257 --> 00:15:32,025 No, I can't say that I have. 240 00:15:32,059 --> 00:15:35,529 He was in his study, but I haven't been able to find him. 241 00:15:35,562 --> 00:15:38,999 I assume he's gone out, so I've invited Ricardo over for a cocktail, 242 00:15:39,032 --> 00:15:41,068 and you know how children make him feel very uneasy. 243 00:15:41,101 --> 00:15:42,903 So I would really appreciate it 244 00:15:42,936 --> 00:15:46,340 if you and your friend would stay in here 245 00:15:46,373 --> 00:15:48,976 or use the backdoor when he arrives. 246 00:15:49,009 --> 00:15:52,346 Okay, not a problem. 247 00:15:52,379 --> 00:15:54,348 Good. 248 00:16:09,596 --> 00:16:11,498 Oh my God! 249 00:16:16,970 --> 00:16:19,273 Now that we were spending time together, 250 00:16:19,306 --> 00:16:22,142 I actually started to find out what Martin was like for the first time. 251 00:16:28,749 --> 00:16:30,718 He wasn't the drip I thought he was. 252 00:16:32,186 --> 00:16:34,121 He was funny... 253 00:16:35,155 --> 00:16:37,191 charming... 254 00:16:37,224 --> 00:16:38,992 sweet... 255 00:16:38,992 --> 00:16:40,894 and even a little shy. 256 00:16:44,565 --> 00:16:48,035 Looking back, that may have been the moment he fell in love. 257 00:16:57,311 --> 00:16:59,847 This went on for about two months 258 00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:02,015 before we had the talk we both knew was coming. 259 00:17:16,430 --> 00:17:18,632 So... 260 00:17:18,665 --> 00:17:20,567 So... 261 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,909 I don't want to sneak around in my own house. 262 00:17:28,942 --> 00:17:31,011 Well, I don't think telling her is such a hot idea. 263 00:17:31,045 --> 00:17:33,580 I don't even want to live under the same roof with her anymore. 264 00:17:33,614 --> 00:17:35,616 You can't leave. She'll get half. 265 00:17:39,219 --> 00:17:42,289 Can I ask how the hell you married her without a prenup? 266 00:17:42,289 --> 00:17:45,626 She wasn't as bad of an actress as you think. 267 00:17:50,264 --> 00:17:52,399 Well, there is another option. 268 00:17:56,770 --> 00:17:58,372 And what's that? 269 00:17:58,405 --> 00:18:01,275 It'll take some planning, some resolve. 270 00:18:05,713 --> 00:18:08,515 - You wanna kill her? - Yeah. 271 00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:12,986 No! Of course not, she's my mother. 272 00:18:13,020 --> 00:18:15,422 Good, I'm glad to hear you say that. 273 00:18:17,624 --> 00:18:19,426 But I was thinking... 274 00:18:19,460 --> 00:18:21,729 if she suddenly got ill... 275 00:18:21,762 --> 00:18:24,198 - III? ...unstable... 276 00:18:24,231 --> 00:18:26,533 unpredictable... 277 00:18:26,567 --> 00:18:28,635 irrational... 278 00:18:28,669 --> 00:18:32,206 dangerous, and the safety of her husband... 279 00:18:32,239 --> 00:18:34,641 her child...? 280 00:18:34,641 --> 00:18:36,443 She'd have to be sent someplace 281 00:18:36,477 --> 00:18:38,779 where they could give her the care she needs. 282 00:18:39,847 --> 00:18:42,282 Yeah. 283 00:18:42,316 --> 00:18:45,185 And it would be for her own good. 284 00:18:45,219 --> 00:18:46,920 Yeah. 285 00:18:46,954 --> 00:18:50,924 As painful as it would be to be away from my loving wife. 286 00:18:50,958 --> 00:18:53,527 Well, you did it for the well-being of your daughter... 287 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,663 the selfless act of a devoted parent. 288 00:19:01,201 --> 00:19:04,938 We'll find her a very comfortable place out in the country. 289 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:07,708 With lots of fresh air. 290 00:19:07,741 --> 00:19:10,644 It'll be a much better life for her. 291 00:19:10,677 --> 00:19:13,113 So much better. 292 00:19:24,258 --> 00:19:27,861 I awoke the next morning as excited as I could remember. 293 00:19:29,196 --> 00:19:31,331 Unlike most firsts which are over too quickly, 294 00:19:31,365 --> 00:19:33,867 this would take determination... 295 00:19:34,935 --> 00:19:37,071 stamina... 296 00:19:38,305 --> 00:19:40,374 and imagination. 297 00:19:42,209 --> 00:19:44,511 I decided to start simply. 298 00:19:46,013 --> 00:19:49,049 The school nurse, a lush named Helga Hauptfuhrer... 299 00:19:49,083 --> 00:19:51,518 or "Der Führer," as she was affectionately known... 300 00:19:51,552 --> 00:19:54,088 starts jonesing for her afternoon nip 301 00:19:54,121 --> 00:19:56,523 about 45 minutes after lunch each day... 302 00:19:58,592 --> 00:20:01,195 which leaves me free to help myself to the candy store. 303 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,836 Slipping her the pills was absurdly easy, 304 00:20:08,869 --> 00:20:11,905 because for Mom, every morning was Margaritaville 305 00:20:11,939 --> 00:20:14,007 and I was her bartender. 306 00:20:21,615 --> 00:20:24,017 It was even easier when the sun went down. 307 00:20:24,017 --> 00:20:25,686 Mini, Diane, I'm home. 308 00:20:25,719 --> 00:20:28,622 I turned her nightcap into an all-nightcap. 309 00:20:28,655 --> 00:20:30,290 And after three days of this, 310 00:20:30,324 --> 00:20:32,059 the fireworks were about to begin. 311 00:20:32,092 --> 00:20:34,194 Peggy from Hays, Kansas. 312 00:20:35,562 --> 00:20:37,197 Phase one: 313 00:20:37,231 --> 00:20:39,933 Violent mood swings- slash-uncontrollable rages. 314 00:20:39,967 --> 00:20:41,635 God damn it. 315 00:20:41,668 --> 00:20:43,537 Damn it! God damn it! 316 00:20:43,537 --> 00:20:46,840 Where are they? I'm gonna be late! 317 00:20:46,874 --> 00:20:48,342 Fucking shit! 318 00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:50,844 Where the fuck are they? 319 00:20:50,878 --> 00:20:54,882 It took me three weeks to get the appointment with Fabrizio! 320 00:20:54,915 --> 00:20:58,652 Fabrizio Santano: Masseuse to the stars 321 00:20:58,685 --> 00:21:01,522 and reported possessor of one of the biggest schlongs in town. 322 00:21:01,555 --> 00:21:03,357 Rumor has it he's pourin' the pork 323 00:21:03,390 --> 00:21:06,060 to every rich wife between Malibu and Pasadena. 324 00:21:06,093 --> 00:21:07,895 Now I'm gonna miss it 325 00:21:07,928 --> 00:21:10,264 because I can't find my fucking keys! 326 00:21:11,565 --> 00:21:13,867 I could use a little help over here! 327 00:21:18,572 --> 00:21:21,942 Diane, do you remember where you left your keys 328 00:21:21,975 --> 00:21:23,811 when you came home last night? 329 00:21:23,844 --> 00:21:27,815 Oh yeah, I put them in the fucking bowl 330 00:21:27,848 --> 00:21:31,118 next to the fucking door like I always fucking do. 331 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:35,689 Well, you were kind of out of it last night. 332 00:21:38,792 --> 00:21:40,861 I was not. 333 00:21:40,894 --> 00:21:44,331 I had one drink with Peggy... one! 334 00:21:44,364 --> 00:21:46,066 Are you sure about that? 335 00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:48,869 - Yes, I'm sure. - 'Cause you seemed a little bit too... 336 00:21:51,305 --> 00:21:53,474 Dickless wonder. 337 00:21:54,441 --> 00:21:56,243 Mini, I'm taking your car. 338 00:21:56,276 --> 00:21:58,512 Martin, you drive her to school. 339 00:21:58,545 --> 00:22:01,548 - I've got a meeting with Chapman. - Tell him it's an emergency. 340 00:22:01,582 --> 00:22:04,251 - He's one of our biggest clients! - Who gives a fuck? 341 00:22:08,689 --> 00:22:11,191 You're not a dickless wonder. 342 00:22:12,192 --> 00:22:13,761 Thank you. 343 00:22:20,701 --> 00:22:23,270 - Hello, Fabrizio? - Yes, what is it? 344 00:22:23,303 --> 00:22:25,139 It's Diane. 345 00:22:25,172 --> 00:22:27,174 Diane Spechtenstein? 346 00:22:27,207 --> 00:22:29,777 - Tannen. - Oh, I'll be seeing you shortly, no? 347 00:22:29,777 --> 00:22:32,079 Listen, I'm going to have to cancel our appointment. 348 00:22:32,112 --> 00:22:34,148 Aw, something come up? 349 00:22:34,181 --> 00:22:36,350 Yeah, something came up. 350 00:22:44,925 --> 00:22:46,560 Oh, that's so good. 351 00:22:50,831 --> 00:22:53,300 - Fabrizio. - Ms. Tannen? 352 00:22:53,333 --> 00:22:56,670 - Jelena? - Diane, what are you doing here? 353 00:22:56,704 --> 00:22:59,606 - What the hell are you doing here? - Easy now, Ms. Tannen. 354 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,443 You called. You canceled 30 minutes ago. 355 00:23:02,476 --> 00:23:04,378 I did not call and cancel, Fabrizio! 356 00:23:04,411 --> 00:23:07,448 I talked to you myself. You said something come up. 357 00:23:07,481 --> 00:23:09,616 You knew I had an appointment today. 358 00:23:09,616 --> 00:23:11,185 Did you call and pretend to be me? 359 00:23:11,218 --> 00:23:14,922 Are you drunk? How could I possibly sound like you? 360 00:23:14,955 --> 00:23:16,590 Yeah, that's true. 361 00:23:16,623 --> 00:23:18,158 Five minutes, Ms. Tannen. 362 00:23:18,192 --> 00:23:19,393 Bitch. 363 00:23:19,426 --> 00:23:22,196 Ms. Tannen, wait in the recovery room. 364 00:23:22,229 --> 00:23:24,364 Fabrizio, I never need the recovery room, you know that. 365 00:23:24,398 --> 00:23:26,066 Did I tell you to stop? 366 00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:28,569 What part of "Don't stop" didn't you understand? 367 00:23:28,602 --> 00:23:31,271 - Five minutes. - But this is my appointment! 368 00:23:31,305 --> 00:23:33,173 Fabrizio, get off of her right now! 369 00:23:33,207 --> 00:23:36,043 I've got him for 55 more minutes! 370 00:23:36,076 --> 00:23:39,847 - Wait your turn! - It's my turn! It's my appointment! 371 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:41,982 Look, if you're not going to wait outside, 372 00:23:42,015 --> 00:23:43,684 at least shut your goddamn mouth 373 00:23:43,717 --> 00:23:45,919 and let me enjoy this! 374 00:23:45,953 --> 00:23:48,288 - Get off of her! - Don't you fucking talk to me! 375 00:23:48,322 --> 00:23:50,124 - Right now! - Throw her out! 376 00:23:50,157 --> 00:23:52,593 - Faster! - Get off! 377 00:23:52,593 --> 00:23:55,162 Don't or I'll have immigration up your ass! 378 00:23:55,195 --> 00:23:58,298 You sneaky little bitch! 379 00:24:04,671 --> 00:24:06,673 Do you think she'll press charges? 380 00:24:06,707 --> 00:24:09,777 Are you fucking kidding me? She should get 20 to life. 381 00:24:09,777 --> 00:24:13,080 When I told Peggy and Margo about the stunt she pulled, 382 00:24:13,113 --> 00:24:15,549 both of them said they would have ripped her eyes out. 383 00:24:15,582 --> 00:24:19,186 She'll be lucky if anybody talks to her again. 384 00:24:19,219 --> 00:24:21,455 Here comes the choo-choo. 385 00:24:21,488 --> 00:24:25,025 For God's sake, I didn't break both hands! 386 00:24:26,927 --> 00:24:30,097 God, I still can't believe you broke your hand on her face. 387 00:24:30,130 --> 00:24:32,499 That's so Linda Hamilton. 388 00:24:32,533 --> 00:24:35,102 I hope she enjoys shitting out the teeth she swallowed. 389 00:24:54,455 --> 00:24:56,356 Phase two: 390 00:24:56,390 --> 00:24:59,526 Wild shopping sprees carried out in a euphoric state. 391 00:25:01,361 --> 00:25:03,397 Divine Productions, Carlos speaking. 392 00:25:03,430 --> 00:25:05,366 Hello, Carlos. It's Diane Tannen calling. 393 00:25:05,399 --> 00:25:07,768 Señora Tannen. 394 00:25:07,801 --> 00:25:10,537 Listen, I'm going to need a delivery to the house. 395 00:25:14,174 --> 00:25:17,010 Hey, where do you want these? 396 00:25:17,044 --> 00:25:19,046 I don't know. My mom ordered them. 397 00:25:19,079 --> 00:25:20,814 The eucalyptus pods and bamboo and... 398 00:25:20,848 --> 00:25:24,651 The giraffe can clean its own ears with its tongue 399 00:25:24,685 --> 00:25:28,522 because the tongue is approximately 21" long. Is that true or false? 400 00:25:28,555 --> 00:25:30,391 Carlos?! What...? 401 00:25:31,492 --> 00:25:34,094 What the fuck is going on, Carlos? 402 00:25:34,128 --> 00:25:37,331 Oh, Señora Tannen, it's the stuff you ordered for the party yesterday. 403 00:25:37,364 --> 00:25:39,033 Ordered? I didn't order anything! 404 00:25:39,066 --> 00:25:40,901 What the fuck are you talking about? 405 00:25:40,934 --> 00:25:42,770 - Are you invited? - I don't think it's a party. 406 00:25:42,803 --> 00:25:45,172 I think they're having a family event... 407 00:25:45,205 --> 00:25:48,308 a dysfunctional circus. 408 00:25:48,342 --> 00:25:49,943 Mom, look at the monkey. 409 00:25:49,977 --> 00:25:52,646 You did. You called me yesterday on the phone. We talked. 410 00:25:52,679 --> 00:25:54,548 I didn't call you! I did not! 411 00:25:54,581 --> 00:25:56,750 You were talking about a party on the phone. 412 00:25:56,784 --> 00:25:58,952 Right after you washed your painkillers... 413 00:25:58,986 --> 00:26:00,788 - Shh! - Right. 414 00:26:00,821 --> 00:26:02,723 - I didn't... - You said you wanted... 415 00:26:02,756 --> 00:26:04,825 ...organize a party, Carlos! - Shangri-la, 416 00:26:04,858 --> 00:26:07,327 - that's what you said to me. - Shangri-la, oh yeah. 417 00:26:07,361 --> 00:26:09,496 One, two, three. 418 00:26:09,530 --> 00:26:11,265 I'm coming, I'm coming! 419 00:26:11,298 --> 00:26:13,300 And you're not gonna be helping me ever again, 420 00:26:13,333 --> 00:26:14,868 because you know what? You suck. 421 00:26:17,304 --> 00:26:18,839 Oh shit! 422 00:26:21,208 --> 00:26:24,311 What the fuck is going on here, Carlos? 423 00:26:24,344 --> 00:26:26,280 Who ordered all this stuff? 424 00:26:26,313 --> 00:26:27,815 I didn't order it. 425 00:26:27,848 --> 00:26:29,850 I wouldn't do anything without your permission, 426 00:26:29,883 --> 00:26:31,785 but Mrs... Señora Tannen... 427 00:26:31,819 --> 00:26:34,421 Martin, I... 428 00:26:34,455 --> 00:26:37,057 Diane... 429 00:26:38,158 --> 00:26:40,260 did you order all this stuff? 430 00:26:40,294 --> 00:26:42,262 No, I didn't. 431 00:26:42,296 --> 00:26:44,598 I didn't order anything. 432 00:26:44,631 --> 00:26:46,333 Come inside with me, Diane, because... 433 00:26:46,367 --> 00:26:47,701 - come inside. - I didn't order anything! 434 00:26:47,735 --> 00:26:49,603 Over the next few days, 435 00:26:49,636 --> 00:26:52,606 whenever Mom passed out from too much drinky-drinky, 436 00:26:52,639 --> 00:26:54,975 I'd pull out her wallet and reach out and touch someone. 437 00:26:55,008 --> 00:26:57,778 After a week of my version of the Home Shopping Network, 438 00:26:57,811 --> 00:26:59,947 the doorbell might as well have been a cannon. 439 00:27:04,818 --> 00:27:07,621 Oh God. 440 00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,129 Mini! Jesus Christ, 441 00:27:15,162 --> 00:27:16,830 I asked for that drink 10 minutes ago. 442 00:27:16,864 --> 00:27:18,632 Put it here. 443 00:27:18,665 --> 00:27:20,267 Help me. 444 00:27:20,300 --> 00:27:21,935 You're welcome. 445 00:27:21,969 --> 00:27:24,638 Jesus Christ. 446 00:27:28,275 --> 00:27:30,110 Anything else I can do for you? 447 00:27:30,144 --> 00:27:31,779 Mm... 448 00:27:33,013 --> 00:27:35,549 Sweetie, that is yummy. 449 00:27:35,582 --> 00:27:37,484 What's in it? 450 00:27:45,826 --> 00:27:47,494 Phase three: 451 00:27:47,528 --> 00:27:50,330 Rambling incoherent monologues in public. 452 00:27:50,364 --> 00:27:52,866 I just clammed up, you know, It was just weird. 453 00:27:52,900 --> 00:27:54,935 You know, eventually I just said to him, 454 00:27:54,968 --> 00:27:57,538 "Sorry, Fabrizio, but it's just not a safe haven anymore." 455 00:27:57,571 --> 00:27:58,872 She has ruined it for all of us. 456 00:27:58,906 --> 00:28:02,876 Oh boy, oh boy. You know... 457 00:28:02,910 --> 00:28:05,512 - You know I love you! - She looks so lovely, doesn't she? 458 00:28:05,546 --> 00:28:09,083 She looks lovely, but I'm gonna take out a restraining order. I got news for you. 459 00:28:09,116 --> 00:28:11,351 What happened... yeah, I heard about that incident. 460 00:28:11,385 --> 00:28:13,253 Here she comes. 461 00:28:13,287 --> 00:28:16,623 Jelena, my God, your dentist is a genius. 462 00:28:16,657 --> 00:28:18,592 I'd never know those weren't your real teeth. 463 00:28:18,625 --> 00:28:20,527 You stay the hell away from me, you psycho, 464 00:28:20,561 --> 00:28:22,463 - You're lucky I didn't... - I'm lucky? No no no no. 465 00:28:22,496 --> 00:28:24,998 Let me tell you something: Fabrizio will not return my calls 466 00:28:25,032 --> 00:28:26,900 because of you, you fucking bitch! 467 00:28:26,934 --> 00:28:29,436 Let me tell you something: That shit may fly in Siberia, 468 00:28:29,470 --> 00:28:31,772 but it does not fly on Mulholland, you got it?! 469 00:28:31,805 --> 00:28:34,608 - She hit my wife. - Really? 470 00:28:34,641 --> 00:28:36,043 Like I said, get some help! 471 00:28:36,076 --> 00:28:37,277 Yeah well, whatever. 472 00:28:37,311 --> 00:28:40,481 She's fucking unbelievable! 473 00:28:40,514 --> 00:28:42,583 I'm telling you, the best thing I ever did 474 00:28:42,616 --> 00:28:44,385 was break my hand on that bitch's face. 475 00:28:44,418 --> 00:28:46,520 - Yeah. - I think she's troubled, you know? 476 00:28:46,553 --> 00:28:49,156 She has a beautiful nose. I love her nose. 477 00:28:49,189 --> 00:28:51,425 I feel fucking fantastic! 478 00:28:51,458 --> 00:28:53,327 Like, I feel like I could run a marathon, 479 00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:55,829 - you know what I mean? ...each and every juror in the eye. 480 00:28:55,863 --> 00:28:57,531 Juries! 481 00:28:57,564 --> 00:29:00,401 Can I please come over and talk to you about juries? 482 00:29:00,401 --> 00:29:03,704 I've always wanted to say the words, "You're guilty!" 483 00:29:03,737 --> 00:29:06,874 What do you guys think happens in those sequestered situations? 484 00:29:06,907 --> 00:29:09,877 Do you think they have sex, the jurors? I think they really get it on. 485 00:29:09,910 --> 00:29:12,613 Are you looking at my tits? 486 00:29:12,646 --> 00:29:14,515 You crazy fuck! 487 00:29:14,548 --> 00:29:15,916 Oh, you know, I was an actress. 488 00:29:15,949 --> 00:29:17,584 I don't know if you know that about me. 489 00:29:17,618 --> 00:29:20,020 I almost had this role on "Bikini Cove." 490 00:29:20,054 --> 00:29:23,090 I almost had two lines. My one line would have been this: 491 00:29:23,123 --> 00:29:25,526 "Um, I'll have another sex on the beach." 492 00:29:25,559 --> 00:29:26,894 Mmm. 493 00:29:26,927 --> 00:29:29,630 That show was a really fucking fantastic show. 494 00:29:29,663 --> 00:29:32,299 It was very creative. Cheesy drink, but it's a drink anyway. 495 00:29:32,332 --> 00:29:35,069 I like Scotch. Isn't that fun? 496 00:29:35,102 --> 00:29:38,138 I had to suck off the executive producer for that audition, 497 00:29:38,172 --> 00:29:39,640 but, hey, I almost got my SAG card, 498 00:29:39,673 --> 00:29:41,275 - so I felt it was worth it. - I need a refill. 499 00:29:41,308 --> 00:29:43,377 - Yeah, me too. If you'll excuse us... - But we were talking 500 00:29:43,410 --> 00:29:46,046 - about juries and sex on the... - Excuse me. 501 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,315 You know, hey hey hey, cock breath! 502 00:29:48,348 --> 00:29:50,417 Oh my God. 503 00:29:52,986 --> 00:29:55,089 Listen, good job, but I need more warning. 504 00:29:55,089 --> 00:29:56,623 I was at dinner with Chapman. 505 00:29:56,657 --> 00:29:57,925 I can't reschedule again. 506 00:29:57,958 --> 00:29:59,560 I know, but it was a golden opportunity. 507 00:29:59,593 --> 00:30:01,462 You always said you can't pay enough 508 00:30:01,495 --> 00:30:02,963 for good publicity, right? 509 00:30:02,996 --> 00:30:05,466 What the hell? Can you control her, sir? 510 00:30:05,499 --> 00:30:09,036 Ooh! Bye, everybody! 511 00:30:10,537 --> 00:30:12,773 I'll see you later! 512 00:30:12,806 --> 00:30:15,109 At this point with all those witnesses, 513 00:30:15,142 --> 00:30:17,811 Martin thought we could get a shrink to have her sent away. 514 00:30:17,845 --> 00:30:19,747 My feeling was that until they were ready 515 00:30:19,780 --> 00:30:21,749 to weld the door to her padded cell shut, 516 00:30:21,782 --> 00:30:23,717 there was still more work to be done. 517 00:30:25,319 --> 00:30:26,720 Fabrizio, it's Diane. 518 00:30:26,754 --> 00:30:28,822 Hi... 519 00:30:28,856 --> 00:30:31,925 Do you think you could call me? I've called you a few times. 520 00:30:31,959 --> 00:30:33,861 I just... I need to talk to you. 521 00:30:33,894 --> 00:30:35,596 Ciao. 522 00:30:38,465 --> 00:30:40,801 - Feel okay? - Yeah, great. 523 00:30:40,834 --> 00:30:42,636 I'll be right back with your two iced teas. 524 00:30:42,669 --> 00:30:45,172 So was there any reason why we couldn't just meet at my house? 525 00:30:45,205 --> 00:30:48,275 Honestly, because I want some witnesses around 526 00:30:48,308 --> 00:30:49,910 in case you fucking lose it again. 527 00:30:49,943 --> 00:30:51,612 In case I... 528 00:30:51,645 --> 00:30:52,980 you're unbelievable, Jelena. 529 00:30:53,013 --> 00:30:54,248 For God's sake, get a grip. 530 00:30:54,281 --> 00:30:56,517 All the shit you've been talking about me 531 00:30:56,550 --> 00:30:58,786 to Peggy, Barbara, and Trish has to stop! 532 00:31:02,856 --> 00:31:04,525 After your performance the other night, 533 00:31:04,558 --> 00:31:07,061 I can't believe I'm even giving you a warning. 534 00:31:07,094 --> 00:31:08,929 - Ha! A warning? - If you keep this up, 535 00:31:08,962 --> 00:31:11,865 - I will make my husband... - Your husband? Oh right! 536 00:31:11,899 --> 00:31:13,567 - Give me a break! ...and mental anguish! 537 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:14,735 Are we clear? 538 00:31:16,737 --> 00:31:18,439 I'm, like, "Dude, all I wanted was..." 539 00:31:18,472 --> 00:31:20,374 Hey, boys. 540 00:31:23,343 --> 00:31:24,778 Wanna have a little fun? 541 00:31:24,812 --> 00:31:27,081 - You are losing it. - That's so funny, you know? 542 00:31:30,084 --> 00:31:31,652 Final phase: 543 00:31:31,685 --> 00:31:33,954 Complete psychotic breakdown. 544 00:31:37,324 --> 00:31:39,693 - Hello? - Diane. 545 00:31:39,727 --> 00:31:42,796 Fabrizio, is that you? How are you? 546 00:31:42,830 --> 00:31:45,165 I can see you. Can you see me? 547 00:31:45,199 --> 00:31:46,767 Who is this? 548 00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:48,302 Do you feel safe? 549 00:31:49,636 --> 00:31:50,871 This isn't funny. I'm hanging up. 550 00:31:50,904 --> 00:31:52,506 Hang up and you're dead. 551 00:31:52,539 --> 00:31:56,009 - Is this a joke? - I assure you I'm no joke. 552 00:31:56,043 --> 00:32:00,080 By the way, that pink scarf is very fetching. 553 00:32:00,114 --> 00:32:02,216 Who is this? Just... 554 00:32:03,584 --> 00:32:05,152 Take it easy! 555 00:32:05,185 --> 00:32:07,087 - Get away from me! - What the hell is your problem? 556 00:32:07,121 --> 00:32:09,390 Leave me alone! Leave me alone! 557 00:32:09,423 --> 00:32:12,393 Maybe you should make a run for that silver Jag you drive home 558 00:32:12,426 --> 00:32:14,161 to Mira Loma Lane. 559 00:32:14,194 --> 00:32:16,363 - How do you know where I live? - I know everything. 560 00:32:16,397 --> 00:32:17,398 What do you want from me? 561 00:32:17,431 --> 00:32:18,632 - Ma'am? - What? 562 00:32:18,665 --> 00:32:20,601 I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the mall. 563 00:32:20,634 --> 00:32:23,303 I-I can't leave. He's... 564 00:32:24,605 --> 00:32:26,106 He knows where I live. I can't. 565 00:32:26,140 --> 00:32:27,641 Who knows, ma'am? 566 00:32:27,674 --> 00:32:31,045 This man has been terrorizing me on the phone. 567 00:32:32,679 --> 00:32:34,581 He's... hello? 568 00:32:34,615 --> 00:32:36,483 Yeah, this is Franklin. We've got a code seven. 569 00:32:36,517 --> 00:32:38,285 - You've gotta come with me. - Don't touch! 570 00:32:38,318 --> 00:32:40,521 - Ma'am? - Don't you dare touch me! 571 00:32:43,057 --> 00:32:45,092 Settle down. 572 00:32:50,831 --> 00:32:52,099 Hey, get off of her! 573 00:32:54,468 --> 00:32:55,903 The other arm! 574 00:32:55,936 --> 00:32:58,038 Get the cuffs on her! 575 00:32:58,072 --> 00:32:59,473 Come on, ma'am! 576 00:33:04,044 --> 00:33:06,280 After her performance at the mall, 577 00:33:06,313 --> 00:33:09,316 I'm sure she would have qualified as committable, but that wasn't enough. 578 00:33:09,349 --> 00:33:11,985 I wanted her to beg the boys in white coats to take her away. 579 00:33:12,019 --> 00:33:13,821 So, Mom, we're gonna go out to dinner. 580 00:33:13,854 --> 00:33:15,689 Do you want us to bring you back something? 581 00:33:15,723 --> 00:33:17,991 Are you both going? 582 00:33:18,025 --> 00:33:19,960 Why don't you just come with us? 583 00:33:19,993 --> 00:33:22,129 You haven't left the house in three days. 584 00:33:23,831 --> 00:33:25,766 I can't. 585 00:33:26,834 --> 00:33:28,669 Okay. 586 00:33:41,448 --> 00:33:43,183 Hello? 587 00:33:53,761 --> 00:33:55,496 Hello? 588 00:33:58,065 --> 00:33:59,767 Hello? 589 00:34:03,270 --> 00:34:04,671 Oh my God! 590 00:34:08,208 --> 00:34:09,743 Shit. 591 00:34:11,178 --> 00:34:12,546 What do you want?! 592 00:34:12,579 --> 00:34:15,182 Oh my God! Oh my God! 593 00:34:15,215 --> 00:34:17,718 Shit! Oh, please, God! 594 00:34:17,751 --> 00:34:21,422 - Please... ma'am? - 911 emergency, please hold. 595 00:34:21,455 --> 00:34:23,524 Fuck fuck fuck! 596 00:34:23,557 --> 00:34:25,893 Oh my God! Oh my God! 597 00:34:25,926 --> 00:34:28,062 Oh my God, oh my God! 598 00:34:28,095 --> 00:34:29,329 Shit, oh my God. Oh my God! 599 00:34:31,732 --> 00:34:33,600 Oh God! 600 00:34:34,568 --> 00:34:36,170 Oh, shit! 601 00:34:36,203 --> 00:34:37,905 Oh God! Shit! 602 00:34:38,939 --> 00:34:41,475 Help! 603 00:34:41,508 --> 00:34:43,277 Oh my God, oh my God! 604 00:34:53,787 --> 00:34:55,556 Our work finished. 605 00:34:55,589 --> 00:34:58,826 We returned home expecting to find her blabbering like a three-year-old. 606 00:35:00,928 --> 00:35:02,763 Mom, we're home. 607 00:35:02,796 --> 00:35:04,665 Diane, honey... 608 00:35:05,799 --> 00:35:07,901 we brought you a pulled pork plate. 609 00:35:15,075 --> 00:35:17,244 Diane, wake up. It's us. 610 00:35:19,279 --> 00:35:20,714 Wake up, Mommy. 611 00:35:20,748 --> 00:35:22,683 Diane, come on. 612 00:35:23,817 --> 00:35:25,686 Diane, come on, wake up. 613 00:35:29,790 --> 00:35:32,559 Martin, I just picked these sleeping pills up for her yesterday. 614 00:35:33,761 --> 00:35:36,263 I suppose we should call an ambulance. 615 00:35:36,296 --> 00:35:38,532 Do you really think they can save her? 616 00:35:38,565 --> 00:35:40,067 I don't know. 617 00:35:40,100 --> 00:35:42,970 She'll only try it again, you know she will. 618 00:35:43,003 --> 00:35:44,905 She will if we keep torturing her like this. 619 00:35:44,938 --> 00:35:46,974 Mini, this is wrong. I'm gonna call an ambulance. 620 00:35:48,342 --> 00:35:49,743 Hold on, wait wait wait. 621 00:35:49,777 --> 00:35:52,546 Who are we to say her choice is wrong? 622 00:35:52,579 --> 00:35:54,748 She put the pills in her mouth. 623 00:35:55,983 --> 00:35:58,285 I thought we agreed that murder was out. 624 00:35:58,318 --> 00:36:00,954 I wouldn't exactly call this murder. 625 00:36:00,988 --> 00:36:04,124 I mean, if anything, we're just helping to fulfill her last wish. 626 00:36:04,158 --> 00:36:06,593 Mini, she wouldn't have done this unless we... 627 00:36:06,627 --> 00:36:08,662 Mini, for God's sake, the woman still has a pulse. 628 00:36:08,696 --> 00:36:11,098 All right, look, you can cut the indignant outrage, 629 00:36:11,131 --> 00:36:14,001 because if you really cared, you would have already dialed 911. 630 00:36:16,403 --> 00:36:19,273 Can't we just admit how lucky we both are? 631 00:36:19,306 --> 00:36:22,609 This is the perfect alibi... she put the drugs in her system. 632 00:36:22,643 --> 00:36:25,679 You're saying we should just leave her here. 633 00:36:25,713 --> 00:36:28,549 Can you think of one person who would say she's sane at this point? 634 00:36:31,318 --> 00:36:33,487 We're so close to being free. 635 00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,290 Let's just let nature take its course. 636 00:36:39,827 --> 00:36:43,564 So we passed the time watching my favorite show. 637 00:36:43,597 --> 00:36:46,400 Our first couple's from Bakersfield, California... 638 00:36:46,433 --> 00:36:49,403 Suzanne Terasado and Gene Scalzo. 639 00:36:49,436 --> 00:36:51,638 They're gonna get married in three weeks, folks. 640 00:36:51,672 --> 00:36:53,173 Date's coming up pretty soon, huh? 641 00:36:53,207 --> 00:36:54,942 Don't answer that question. But first, 642 00:36:54,975 --> 00:36:56,577 we send you out on some dates huh? 643 00:37:10,124 --> 00:37:12,559 - We have to speed this up. - What? 644 00:37:12,593 --> 00:37:16,330 We can't wait anymore, Martin, okay? 645 00:37:16,363 --> 00:37:18,832 Our alibi's only believable for maybe another hour. 646 00:37:18,866 --> 00:37:21,402 We can say we went to a movie after dinner, 647 00:37:21,435 --> 00:37:24,104 but if she doesn't croak by midnight, we can forget about this. 648 00:37:24,138 --> 00:37:28,342 What exactly are you suggesting? 649 00:37:35,182 --> 00:37:37,084 Come on, we don't have time. 650 00:37:37,117 --> 00:37:39,019 Look, if we're gonna screw up the details, 651 00:37:39,053 --> 00:37:42,022 we might as well call San Quentin and tell them to fire up the Dutch oven. 652 00:37:45,659 --> 00:37:47,628 You almost finished? 653 00:37:47,661 --> 00:37:49,530 What's the one thing all her friends 654 00:37:49,563 --> 00:37:51,699 are gonna be talking about when they find out? 655 00:37:51,732 --> 00:37:53,967 "How did she look?" 656 00:37:54,001 --> 00:37:56,837 Do you think anyone would think twice if the answer's "Fabulous"? 657 00:38:04,545 --> 00:38:06,380 Well, if you have any last thoughts, 658 00:38:06,413 --> 00:38:09,583 I think that now would probably be the appropriate time. 659 00:38:11,018 --> 00:38:13,721 You could pretend to have a little remorse. 660 00:38:28,702 --> 00:38:31,672 No no no! Wait wait wait! She's gonna be fine! 661 00:38:31,705 --> 00:38:33,607 Just tell me that she's gonna be okay! 662 00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:35,976 Mr. Tannen, I think you should take your daughter into the house. 663 00:38:36,009 --> 00:38:38,345 I don't wanna go in the house right now! 664 00:38:38,379 --> 00:38:40,214 She's gonna be fine, right? 665 00:38:40,247 --> 00:38:42,149 Just say that she's gonna be fine first 666 00:38:42,182 --> 00:38:43,751 and then I'll go in the house! 667 00:38:43,784 --> 00:38:45,886 It's gonna be okay. Come on, go inside. 668 00:38:51,158 --> 00:38:53,594 All right, we're almost wrapped up in here. 669 00:38:54,862 --> 00:38:56,764 I'll see you tomorrow. 670 00:39:01,568 --> 00:39:04,004 - Mr. Tannen. - Oh. 671 00:39:04,038 --> 00:39:06,774 - Yes. - Hi. 672 00:39:06,807 --> 00:39:09,276 Detective Dwight Garson, L.A.P.D. 673 00:39:09,309 --> 00:39:12,546 I'm very sorry to be here right now, 674 00:39:12,579 --> 00:39:15,649 but, you know, whenever there's an apparent suicide, 675 00:39:15,683 --> 00:39:17,584 we're required to do an investigation 676 00:39:17,584 --> 00:39:19,353 just to rule out homicide. 677 00:39:19,386 --> 00:39:22,656 - Right. - It's really just a formality. 678 00:39:22,690 --> 00:39:25,292 Formality? 679 00:39:25,325 --> 00:39:27,795 My mother just killed herself. 680 00:39:27,828 --> 00:39:30,431 They haven't even taken her away yet. What's wrong with you? 681 00:39:30,464 --> 00:39:32,366 Mini, honey, the man is just doing his job. 682 00:39:32,399 --> 00:39:35,169 I don't care. Tell him to leave. This is outrageous. 683 00:39:35,202 --> 00:39:37,638 - Could we do this some other time? - Of course, Mr. Tannen. 684 00:39:37,671 --> 00:39:38,872 I appreciate that. Thank you. 685 00:39:38,906 --> 00:39:41,275 But I will need to ask you 686 00:39:41,308 --> 00:39:43,677 just a few simple questions before I leave, if that's okay. 687 00:39:43,711 --> 00:39:45,979 - Okay. - I'm sorry, but did you hear him? 688 00:39:46,013 --> 00:39:47,581 I believe he said you need to leave. 689 00:39:47,614 --> 00:39:49,116 Mini, let's go to your room, 690 00:39:49,149 --> 00:39:51,485 and you lie down for a little while, please. Come on. 691 00:39:54,621 --> 00:39:56,790 So after dinner and the movie, 692 00:39:56,824 --> 00:40:00,694 we came home at 11:30 and found her in the garage, 693 00:40:00,728 --> 00:40:03,497 and I... turned off the car, 694 00:40:03,530 --> 00:40:05,399 and I opened the garage door 695 00:40:05,432 --> 00:40:08,335 to let the fumes out. 696 00:40:09,870 --> 00:40:12,940 So... your wife would have done this 697 00:40:12,973 --> 00:40:16,810 sometime between 8:00 and 11:33 698 00:40:16,844 --> 00:40:19,380 when you made the 911 call? 699 00:40:19,413 --> 00:40:22,449 - Yes. - So this was your wife's car? 700 00:40:22,449 --> 00:40:24,084 Yes. 701 00:40:24,118 --> 00:40:26,553 And... 702 00:40:26,587 --> 00:40:29,957 was it in the garage when you went to dinner 703 00:40:29,990 --> 00:40:31,592 or did she drive it in? 704 00:40:31,625 --> 00:40:34,828 - Is that important? - Oh well, you know, 705 00:40:34,862 --> 00:40:37,598 I'm just kind of trying to reconstruct what happened. 706 00:40:37,631 --> 00:40:40,401 Well, when my wife came home from the mall, 707 00:40:40,401 --> 00:40:43,804 we had the car towed here and we put it in the garage. 708 00:40:43,837 --> 00:40:45,739 Well, if it's okay, 709 00:40:45,773 --> 00:40:48,442 I'm gonna have them impound it, 710 00:40:48,475 --> 00:40:50,644 and we'll take it down to the crime lab. 711 00:40:50,678 --> 00:40:52,513 Take it down to the crime lab? 712 00:40:52,546 --> 00:40:54,748 Yeah, again, you know, it's just purely routine. 713 00:40:54,782 --> 00:40:56,717 Right. 714 00:40:58,919 --> 00:41:00,521 Yeah... 715 00:41:00,554 --> 00:41:02,756 so, uh... 716 00:41:04,224 --> 00:41:07,628 have you... have you found a note yet? 717 00:41:11,198 --> 00:41:13,000 You mean a suicide note? 718 00:41:13,033 --> 00:41:17,304 Yeah, usually the deceased tend to leave one. 719 00:41:18,772 --> 00:41:21,575 Uh no no, we haven't, 720 00:41:21,608 --> 00:41:24,011 but we haven't been looking for one either. 721 00:41:24,044 --> 00:41:25,913 Right. 722 00:41:25,946 --> 00:41:28,182 Right... 723 00:41:29,616 --> 00:41:32,486 Well, do you mind if I have a look around? 724 00:41:32,519 --> 00:41:34,988 No no no. 725 00:41:42,029 --> 00:41:44,098 Who cares if we didn't leave a note? 726 00:41:44,131 --> 00:41:46,033 - Just relax! - He says... 727 00:41:46,033 --> 00:41:47,768 So what? He'll do his little dance, 728 00:41:47,801 --> 00:41:49,536 and chalk it up to another failed actress 729 00:41:49,570 --> 00:41:51,605 who realized after 40 she might as well be dead. 730 00:41:51,638 --> 00:41:53,540 Okay. 731 00:41:54,608 --> 00:41:56,610 - Shit! - What? 732 00:41:56,643 --> 00:41:59,079 I forgot about the sweatsuits and the goggles. 733 00:41:59,113 --> 00:42:00,681 I already snuck out back and threw them 734 00:42:00,714 --> 00:42:02,016 in Mike Rudell's garbage cans. 735 00:42:04,651 --> 00:42:07,855 Good. Very good. 736 00:42:07,888 --> 00:42:10,224 Just relax. 737 00:42:10,257 --> 00:42:11,859 We did it. 738 00:42:14,094 --> 00:42:15,529 We're free. 739 00:42:41,722 --> 00:42:44,591 Before that, I was actually working in catering, 740 00:42:44,625 --> 00:42:46,927 but I discovered I had this amazing talent 741 00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:49,063 to read people's flower auras. If I may just... 742 00:42:50,631 --> 00:42:52,566 Venus flytrap. 743 00:42:52,599 --> 00:42:54,401 You scared me. 744 00:42:55,502 --> 00:42:57,304 Just keep 'em coming. 745 00:42:57,337 --> 00:42:59,840 It's a tragic tragic loss. 746 00:42:59,873 --> 00:43:01,809 - Thank you so much. - Is this soy? 747 00:43:01,842 --> 00:43:04,144 - You know, this could be tofurkey. - Not for me. 748 00:43:04,178 --> 00:43:06,380 Is this tofurkey? It could be okay. 749 00:43:09,616 --> 00:43:12,219 - It's good. - You're so delighted by small things. 750 00:43:12,252 --> 00:43:15,823 Mm. Does anybody know how... how is Mini doing? 751 00:43:15,856 --> 00:43:17,825 I hear she's totally devastated. 752 00:43:17,858 --> 00:43:19,193 - She's... wh... what? - Just look at her. 753 00:43:20,894 --> 00:43:23,163 Martin, I mean, think of him. He's a single parent now. 754 00:43:23,197 --> 00:43:26,400 He's going to need all the support he can get from family and friends. 755 00:43:26,433 --> 00:43:28,202 Oh, it takes a village. 756 00:43:28,235 --> 00:43:29,670 The wake was a riot. 757 00:43:29,703 --> 00:43:31,972 With Mom out of the way, Martin suddenly became 758 00:43:32,006 --> 00:43:33,507 prime target number one. 759 00:43:33,540 --> 00:43:34,808 Would you excuse me? 760 00:43:34,842 --> 00:43:36,243 She wasn't even cold yet, 761 00:43:36,276 --> 00:43:37,978 and already her friends were realizing 762 00:43:38,012 --> 00:43:39,813 whoever could dump their hubbies the fastest 763 00:43:39,847 --> 00:43:41,849 could actually marry someone they'd want to sleep with. 764 00:43:41,882 --> 00:43:43,550 - Martin? - Hi. 765 00:43:43,584 --> 00:43:45,252 How are you holding up? 766 00:43:45,285 --> 00:43:47,421 Well, the nights are the roughest. 767 00:43:47,454 --> 00:43:50,624 I hope you know that despite our little disagreement, 768 00:43:50,657 --> 00:43:52,626 Diane was like a sister to me. 769 00:43:52,659 --> 00:43:54,061 I know. 770 00:43:54,094 --> 00:43:57,731 And if you ever need someone to talk to, 771 00:43:57,765 --> 00:43:59,400 or even just a hug... 772 00:44:00,901 --> 00:44:03,937 I can be over in 10 minutes. 773 00:44:11,078 --> 00:44:12,813 After the funeral, 774 00:44:12,846 --> 00:44:14,882 I felt it would be a good idea if we took a vacation, 775 00:44:14,915 --> 00:44:17,951 and went someplace where we can act like a real couple for the first time. 776 00:44:47,348 --> 00:44:50,851 I could feel that Martin had let that whole thing with the cops go. 777 00:45:01,528 --> 00:45:03,864 It had been two weeks since Mom's death, 778 00:45:03,897 --> 00:45:05,966 and already it felt like it happened a year ago. 779 00:45:22,816 --> 00:45:24,651 Martin? Mini? 780 00:45:24,685 --> 00:45:26,920 Hi. I thought that was you. 781 00:45:26,954 --> 00:45:29,990 Mike, what are you doing here? 782 00:45:30,024 --> 00:45:33,060 Uh, last week Mini mentioned 783 00:45:33,093 --> 00:45:35,729 that you guys were gonna come down here for a little R and R, 784 00:45:35,729 --> 00:45:38,665 and I suddenly realized that I hadn't taken a vacation 785 00:45:38,699 --> 00:45:42,302 in God knows when. Jennifer, this is Martin Tannen, 786 00:45:42,336 --> 00:45:44,672 my next-door neighbor and his daughter Mini. 787 00:45:44,705 --> 00:45:46,373 And here's the kicker. 788 00:45:46,407 --> 00:45:48,909 Jennifer works for the same escort service that I did. 789 00:45:48,942 --> 00:45:50,644 I'm sorry, Jennifer, but have we met? 790 00:45:50,678 --> 00:45:52,379 You look really familiar. 791 00:45:52,413 --> 00:45:54,314 I don't think so. 792 00:45:54,348 --> 00:45:56,383 No? Are you sure? Have we worked together? 793 00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:03,157 That's impossible, because I just moved here from Canada... 794 00:46:03,190 --> 00:46:05,659 the Yukon Territories. 795 00:46:09,329 --> 00:46:11,298 I just wanted you both to know 796 00:46:11,331 --> 00:46:13,267 how sorry I am for your loss. 797 00:46:13,300 --> 00:46:14,935 Our loss? 798 00:46:14,968 --> 00:46:17,004 He just lost six or seven freebies a year from Mom. 799 00:46:17,037 --> 00:46:19,206 Look at him. He's a profile in courage. 800 00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:21,442 If there's anything that I can do 801 00:46:21,475 --> 00:46:23,911 for either of you, 802 00:46:23,944 --> 00:46:26,380 don't hesitate to ask. 803 00:46:26,413 --> 00:46:30,050 Remember, I'm just... I'm right across the fence. 804 00:46:31,385 --> 00:46:33,187 Thanks, Mike. 805 00:46:33,220 --> 00:46:34,888 We appreciate that. 806 00:46:34,922 --> 00:46:36,890 Breakfast tomorrow... frittata. 807 00:46:36,924 --> 00:46:39,093 I'm sending over a frittata for you guys. 808 00:46:39,126 --> 00:46:40,894 Don't be surprised. Okay, bye-bye. 809 00:46:43,597 --> 00:46:45,199 Why did you tell him? 810 00:46:45,232 --> 00:46:46,800 I was just being friendly, okay? 811 00:46:46,834 --> 00:46:48,369 I didn't think he'd actually come. 812 00:46:48,369 --> 00:46:51,305 He knows. He found the goggles and the clothes, 813 00:46:51,338 --> 00:46:52,806 and he fuckin' knows. 814 00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:55,209 I doubt he even knows where his trash cans are. 815 00:46:55,242 --> 00:46:57,478 Relax, it was just a coincidence. 816 00:46:57,511 --> 00:46:59,947 Coincidence or not, he saw us together. 817 00:46:59,980 --> 00:47:01,215 Let's go, let's get in the car. 818 00:47:01,248 --> 00:47:02,950 - It was dark... - Let's go to the airport. 819 00:47:02,983 --> 00:47:04,818 - It was dark outside. - No no no no no. 820 00:47:04,852 --> 00:47:06,587 He was toying with us. You didn't see that, 821 00:47:06,620 --> 00:47:08,022 the way that he was toying with us? 822 00:47:08,055 --> 00:47:09,123 - No, I didn't. - No? 823 00:47:09,156 --> 00:47:10,657 No. 824 00:47:10,691 --> 00:47:11,959 What is he gonna do, huh? 825 00:47:11,992 --> 00:47:14,661 Go home and tell everyone we're a couple? 826 00:47:14,695 --> 00:47:18,032 We'll just laugh it off and say he vacations with hookers. 827 00:47:18,065 --> 00:47:19,466 Okay, thank you. 828 00:47:19,500 --> 00:47:21,301 Let's get in the car and let's go to the airport now. 829 00:47:21,335 --> 00:47:22,503 - Come on. - Martin, come on. 830 00:47:22,536 --> 00:47:24,872 Calm down, all right? Nothing is going to happen. 831 00:47:24,905 --> 00:47:28,609 Let's just go inside and have another drink, okay? 832 00:47:31,078 --> 00:47:32,846 - Aurelio? - Sí, señorita? 833 00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:34,581 Hi, we're actually gonna stay, 834 00:47:34,615 --> 00:47:36,250 so can you bring these bags in for us? 835 00:47:36,283 --> 00:47:37,584 But of course. 836 00:47:51,832 --> 00:47:53,734 No thank you. 837 00:47:56,737 --> 00:47:58,972 The next few days were a real hoot. 838 00:47:59,006 --> 00:48:02,576 Suddenly, Martin was acting like he really was my father. 839 00:48:21,762 --> 00:48:24,698 We returned home and things didn't get much better. 840 00:48:24,732 --> 00:48:26,900 What little sex we were having was getting dull. 841 00:48:26,934 --> 00:48:30,704 I tried spicing things up with a little role-playing, 842 00:48:30,738 --> 00:48:33,374 but I was becoming concerned that in my world of firsts, 843 00:48:33,407 --> 00:48:36,176 I'd achieved my greatest first at too young an age. 844 00:48:42,783 --> 00:48:44,952 - Hi. - Yes? 845 00:48:44,985 --> 00:48:47,388 Minerva Tannen, Detective Garson. 846 00:48:47,421 --> 00:48:49,590 I don't know if you remember me from that night. 847 00:48:49,623 --> 00:48:51,558 Drogues. My last name is Drogues, 848 00:48:51,592 --> 00:48:53,927 and yes, I remember you. You were the bighearted lug 849 00:48:53,961 --> 00:48:56,930 who wanted your questions answered while my mother was still warm. 850 00:48:56,964 --> 00:48:59,933 Again, I'm sorry about that night, 851 00:48:59,967 --> 00:49:02,503 but it is policy that we get the preliminary facts 852 00:49:02,536 --> 00:49:04,238 as soon as possible. Sorry. 853 00:49:04,271 --> 00:49:07,608 - What do you want? - I need to ask you a few more questions 854 00:49:07,641 --> 00:49:09,109 about your mother's death. 855 00:49:10,878 --> 00:49:12,613 - All right, come in. - Thank you. 856 00:49:12,646 --> 00:49:15,282 I know it's stupid as hell 857 00:49:15,315 --> 00:49:16,984 to talk to a cop without a lawyer, 858 00:49:17,017 --> 00:49:18,585 but I didn't want to look jumpy. 859 00:49:18,619 --> 00:49:20,921 At my first real interrogation, 860 00:49:20,954 --> 00:49:23,624 I could literally feel something tingle deep inside. 861 00:49:23,657 --> 00:49:26,427 It's a little early for the prom, isn't it? 862 00:49:26,460 --> 00:49:28,862 A girl can dream, can't she? 863 00:49:28,896 --> 00:49:30,898 It's perfectly legal, sure. 864 00:49:30,931 --> 00:49:32,633 So, anyway, 865 00:49:32,666 --> 00:49:35,569 we got the preliminary coroner's report. 866 00:49:35,602 --> 00:49:38,706 Although the pills rendered your mother unconscious, 867 00:49:38,739 --> 00:49:43,077 she died from the carbon monoxide fumes from the exhaust. 868 00:49:43,110 --> 00:49:45,479 Is that important? 869 00:49:45,512 --> 00:49:49,550 Well, it's just a little unusual 870 00:49:49,583 --> 00:49:51,885 for a suicide victim to use two methods. 871 00:49:51,919 --> 00:49:55,422 Well, maybe she wanted to drift off before the fumes got her. 872 00:49:55,456 --> 00:49:58,525 Yeah, I suppose you're right. 873 00:49:58,559 --> 00:50:01,195 We also got the phone records 874 00:50:01,228 --> 00:50:03,530 and there was a 911 call placed at 8:12. 875 00:50:03,564 --> 00:50:05,833 It was a hang up. 876 00:50:05,866 --> 00:50:07,935 - Really? - Yeah. 877 00:50:07,968 --> 00:50:12,106 Any idea why your mom might have called 911? 878 00:50:12,139 --> 00:50:13,907 Okay, fine. 879 00:50:13,941 --> 00:50:16,343 This may be the most exciting thing I've done in a while, 880 00:50:16,377 --> 00:50:18,645 but even I know when the rush isn't worth the risk. 881 00:50:18,679 --> 00:50:21,648 Listen, Detective, I think you should come back when my father's home. 882 00:50:21,648 --> 00:50:24,084 He'll probably be upset that I let a stranger in the house. 883 00:50:26,220 --> 00:50:28,822 Yeah, I think you're safe with me. 884 00:50:30,257 --> 00:50:31,725 Even so, he won't be happy. 885 00:50:31,759 --> 00:50:34,161 Not a problem. 886 00:50:34,161 --> 00:50:37,197 So will he be back tonight? 887 00:50:37,231 --> 00:50:41,435 - I'll give him a call. - Okay, thanks. 888 00:50:41,468 --> 00:50:44,338 And you let him in? 889 00:50:44,371 --> 00:50:46,874 It would have looked worse to be defensive. 890 00:50:46,907 --> 00:50:49,276 And when's he coming over? 891 00:50:49,309 --> 00:50:51,045 Tonight. 892 00:50:51,078 --> 00:50:53,681 Tonight? I've got a dinner with Chapman. 893 00:50:53,714 --> 00:50:55,282 I've already canceled on him twice. 894 00:50:55,315 --> 00:50:56,750 Damn it! Why didn't you call me? 895 00:50:58,085 --> 00:51:00,187 I'm sorry. I didn't know you had plans. 896 00:51:01,422 --> 00:51:02,990 All right, listen, I'll be home early 897 00:51:03,023 --> 00:51:04,658 so we can get our story straight, okay? 898 00:51:04,692 --> 00:51:07,127 Okay. 899 00:51:15,569 --> 00:51:18,172 I really do appreciate you taking the time to help us out. 900 00:51:18,205 --> 00:51:20,841 You know, there's just a few loose ends we need to tie up. 901 00:51:20,874 --> 00:51:23,510 Absolutely. What would you like to know? 902 00:51:23,544 --> 00:51:26,413 Well, there seems to be some question 903 00:51:26,447 --> 00:51:28,315 as to the time of your wife's death. 904 00:51:28,349 --> 00:51:31,885 You said that you went to dinner and a movie? 905 00:51:31,919 --> 00:51:35,356 Detective, I don't mean to sound overly sensitive, 906 00:51:35,389 --> 00:51:36,957 but do I need my attorney here? 907 00:51:36,990 --> 00:51:40,160 Because these sound like the questions you would ask a suspect 908 00:51:40,194 --> 00:51:41,829 in a homicide investigation. 909 00:51:41,862 --> 00:51:46,033 Well, Mr. Tannen, I really just kinda wanna finish this up, you know? 910 00:51:46,066 --> 00:51:48,402 I have real homicides that need my attention. 911 00:51:48,435 --> 00:51:51,572 So how about this? 912 00:51:51,605 --> 00:51:54,008 You know, I'll ask you some questions, 913 00:51:54,041 --> 00:51:55,943 and the ones you don't want to answer, 914 00:51:55,976 --> 00:51:57,911 well, we can just skip those. 915 00:51:57,945 --> 00:52:00,247 Yeah, that sounds good, doesn't it, Dad? 916 00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:02,349 Let's just get this over with. 917 00:52:03,784 --> 00:52:05,319 Please go ahead. 918 00:52:05,352 --> 00:52:09,556 All right. You said that after dinner you went to a movie? 919 00:52:09,590 --> 00:52:12,092 - That's right. - Start time: 9:00. 920 00:52:12,126 --> 00:52:15,963 - What'd you see? - We saw that Jackie Chan movie 921 00:52:15,996 --> 00:52:19,700 where he tries to stop the terrorists from blowing up Mount Rushmore. 922 00:52:19,733 --> 00:52:21,902 Running time: 115 minutes. 923 00:52:21,935 --> 00:52:23,137 Yeah, a buddy of mine saw it. 924 00:52:23,170 --> 00:52:24,938 He said that the ending was pretty crazy. 925 00:52:24,972 --> 00:52:27,441 For God's sakes, does he think we wouldn't actually see it? 926 00:52:27,474 --> 00:52:29,243 Yeah, they're sliding down Washington's nose, 927 00:52:29,276 --> 00:52:30,678 and the guy's got the bomb strapped in. 928 00:52:30,711 --> 00:52:32,346 Don't tell him. He hasn't seen it yet. 929 00:52:32,379 --> 00:52:34,515 - Another demerit for me. - Aw, that's okay. 930 00:52:34,548 --> 00:52:36,784 So, uh, where'd you see it? 931 00:52:36,817 --> 00:52:40,054 - The Galleria. - Drive time: 17 minutes. 932 00:52:40,087 --> 00:52:42,556 - And you got home when? - 11:30. 933 00:52:42,589 --> 00:52:44,625 Precisely, with 12 minutes of previews. 934 00:52:44,625 --> 00:52:46,593 You didn't think we'd forget the previews? 935 00:52:46,627 --> 00:52:49,730 Detective, if you don't have any further questions, it is a school night. 936 00:52:49,763 --> 00:52:51,899 Oh right, yes. Sorry. 937 00:52:51,932 --> 00:52:54,902 No, I think that about wraps it up for now. Thanks. 938 00:52:54,935 --> 00:52:56,103 For now? 939 00:52:58,005 --> 00:53:00,607 Detective, we're trying very hard 940 00:53:00,641 --> 00:53:02,509 to put back the pieces of our lives. 941 00:53:02,543 --> 00:53:05,312 And every time you come by, you dredge all this up again. 942 00:53:05,346 --> 00:53:07,314 I've already told you everything that I know. 943 00:53:07,348 --> 00:53:09,583 Sorry, I wish I could be more definitive... I can't. 944 00:53:09,616 --> 00:53:12,519 Well, I'm telling you that if you do come back with more questions, 945 00:53:12,553 --> 00:53:14,788 I hope it's because you're charging us with something. 946 00:53:17,157 --> 00:53:19,093 Us? 947 00:53:38,812 --> 00:53:40,814 I can't believe I let you talk me into this. 948 00:53:45,686 --> 00:53:47,688 I'm sure that was just routine stuff. 949 00:53:47,721 --> 00:53:50,124 Honey, that was anything but routine, let me tell you. 950 00:53:51,692 --> 00:53:53,794 Nice use of the word "us," by the way. 951 00:53:53,827 --> 00:53:55,729 It slipped out, okay? I'm sorry. 952 00:53:57,131 --> 00:53:59,633 You know, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that... 953 00:53:59,633 --> 00:54:01,602 Okay. 954 00:54:01,635 --> 00:54:03,437 Just chill out, all right? 955 00:54:03,470 --> 00:54:05,773 I'm sure this will all blow over in a few days. 956 00:54:05,806 --> 00:54:09,043 Chill out? Did you just tell me to chill out? 957 00:54:09,076 --> 00:54:11,745 You realize they could go for the death penalty, don't you? 958 00:54:11,779 --> 00:54:14,248 He was probably just trying to spook us. 959 00:54:14,281 --> 00:54:17,117 They only try to spook you if they really think you did it. 960 00:54:19,153 --> 00:54:21,188 Look, it was a great plan, okay? 961 00:54:21,221 --> 00:54:24,258 No one can prove that we put those pills in her mouth because we didn't. 962 00:54:24,291 --> 00:54:26,026 If it's such a great plan, then why am I 963 00:54:26,060 --> 00:54:28,896 canceling dinners with important clients to accommodate a detective 964 00:54:28,929 --> 00:54:30,864 who doesn't believe that it was a suicide, huh? 965 00:54:30,864 --> 00:54:33,934 If you're so fucking smart! 966 00:54:37,404 --> 00:54:38,906 See you later. 967 00:54:40,507 --> 00:54:42,209 Where are you going? 968 00:54:42,242 --> 00:54:44,078 Out. 969 00:56:28,749 --> 00:56:31,685 A phone call would have been appreciated at some point. 970 00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:33,988 I was worried about you. 971 00:56:34,021 --> 00:56:37,858 Martin, I'm not sure you're aware, 972 00:56:37,891 --> 00:56:40,361 but at this point you can't be my dad and my lover. 973 00:56:40,394 --> 00:56:42,896 I'm not saying that as your dad. 974 00:56:44,031 --> 00:56:47,935 Before your mother and I grew apart, 975 00:56:47,968 --> 00:56:49,903 I would be worried when she was out late. 976 00:56:49,937 --> 00:56:52,573 Well, I'm not her, so I can assure you 977 00:56:52,606 --> 00:56:56,944 you won't find me drunk, passed out in some greaseball's fuckpad 978 00:56:56,977 --> 00:57:00,481 with my panties around my ankles... unless I choose to. 979 00:57:00,514 --> 00:57:02,549 What the hell has gotten into you? 980 00:57:02,583 --> 00:57:06,387 I express some concern for you, and you threaten me? 981 00:57:06,420 --> 00:57:08,489 Mini, when you're in a relationship, 982 00:57:08,522 --> 00:57:11,191 it's okay to worry about someone. 983 00:57:11,225 --> 00:57:14,094 Have you ever been in a relationship, Mini? 984 00:57:18,966 --> 00:57:22,436 My God, you haven't, have you? 985 00:57:27,474 --> 00:57:29,376 Congratulations, 986 00:57:29,410 --> 00:57:31,211 you're my first. 987 00:57:43,123 --> 00:57:44,792 Good morning. 988 00:57:47,728 --> 00:57:49,997 - This just arrived for you. - Thank you. 989 00:57:55,469 --> 00:57:57,371 Martin Tannen's office, 990 00:57:57,404 --> 00:57:59,239 how may I help you? 991 00:58:02,276 --> 00:58:04,111 Yes, everything has been resolved. 992 00:58:04,144 --> 00:58:06,647 Thank you so much for calling. 993 00:58:09,750 --> 00:58:12,052 - Lois. - Yes? 994 00:58:12,086 --> 00:58:13,887 We have to reschedule the Chapman meeting. 995 00:58:16,023 --> 00:58:19,493 I know, just tell them it's an unavoidable emergency. 996 00:58:26,300 --> 00:58:29,670 Shit shit shit shit, fuck fuck! 997 00:58:33,073 --> 00:58:35,242 Are you okay? 998 00:58:37,745 --> 00:58:41,281 What do you mean you don't keep records of who the senders are? 999 00:58:41,315 --> 00:58:43,083 When it's paid cash, we only keep records 1000 00:58:43,117 --> 00:58:44,451 on packages. Not envelopes. 1001 00:58:48,355 --> 00:58:50,457 Excuse me. 1002 00:58:50,491 --> 00:58:52,726 - Yeah? - Mr. Tannen? 1003 00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:55,362 - Uh-huh. - I just spoke to Mr. Chapman. 1004 00:58:55,396 --> 00:58:59,033 - Uh-huh. - He... he told me to tell you 1005 00:58:59,066 --> 00:59:02,670 that he is going to be seeking a new firm to handle his company's needs 1006 00:59:02,703 --> 00:59:05,472 and Mr. Mather and Mr. Boyd 1007 00:59:05,506 --> 00:59:08,042 have asked to see you when you return to the office. 1008 00:59:08,075 --> 00:59:10,144 Thank you, Lois. 1009 00:59:26,093 --> 00:59:28,028 What's up, guys? 1010 00:59:28,062 --> 00:59:29,663 Have a seat. 1011 00:59:30,964 --> 00:59:33,200 Do I want to have a seat? 1012 00:59:34,735 --> 00:59:36,637 We just got a call from Chapman. 1013 00:59:36,670 --> 00:59:39,406 Well, the old guy is a little unstable, we all know that. 1014 00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:41,041 "Unstable"? 1015 00:59:41,041 --> 00:59:43,544 He told us you canceled three meetings on him at the last minute. 1016 00:59:43,577 --> 00:59:45,646 Well, Jesus, my wife just committed suicide, 1017 00:59:45,679 --> 00:59:47,414 so please forgive me if I've been a little... 1018 00:59:47,448 --> 00:59:49,350 No one's saying this hasn't been a difficult time for you, 1019 00:59:49,383 --> 00:59:52,286 but whatever's been distracting you, Martin, started long before that. 1020 00:59:52,319 --> 00:59:54,788 - Chapman was a whale. - A whale that I brought in. 1021 00:59:54,822 --> 00:59:57,591 - And now you've lost. - A whale we couldn't afford to lose. 1022 00:59:57,624 --> 00:59:59,793 Clients come and go, we all know that. 1023 00:59:59,793 --> 01:00:01,495 It's musical chairs, it always has been. 1024 01:00:01,528 --> 01:00:04,031 I mean, what is the big deal? I'll land another whale. 1025 01:00:04,064 --> 01:00:06,400 In fact, Jerry Burgess from IBS just called me this morning. 1026 01:00:06,433 --> 01:00:08,168 He wants me to play 18 at the Riv. 1027 01:00:08,202 --> 01:00:10,804 I'll spot him three aside and push a four-footer on the last one. 1028 01:00:10,838 --> 01:00:14,441 He'll be ours by Friday. Come on, guys! 1029 01:00:14,475 --> 01:00:16,343 We've made our decision. 1030 01:00:17,478 --> 01:00:19,680 You've made your Dec... 1031 01:00:19,713 --> 01:00:21,915 this is my company. 1032 01:00:21,949 --> 01:00:23,684 You came to me. 1033 01:00:23,717 --> 01:00:25,719 I was landing whales like Chapman 1034 01:00:25,753 --> 01:00:29,256 when you two jerk-offs were playing beer pong in your frat basement 1035 01:00:29,289 --> 01:00:31,725 and slipping roofies to the local high school girls! 1036 01:00:31,759 --> 01:00:34,161 I don't give a shit what decisions you've made! 1037 01:00:34,194 --> 01:00:36,163 This is my firm! 1038 01:00:37,731 --> 01:00:39,867 Look at that smug prick. 1039 01:00:39,900 --> 01:00:43,237 He is fucking with me and I will not be fucked with! 1040 01:00:43,270 --> 01:00:45,439 What are you gonna do? 1041 01:00:45,472 --> 01:00:48,676 I'm gonna go over there and tell him if he doesn't back off he's gonna get hurt. 1042 01:00:48,709 --> 01:00:50,644 Are you crazy? We're not even sure it's him. 1043 01:00:50,678 --> 01:00:52,312 For God's sakes, the pictures were sent 1044 01:00:52,346 --> 01:00:54,915 from a messenger agency right in his own building. 1045 01:00:54,948 --> 01:00:57,251 He was the only person at the resort who knew who we were. 1046 01:00:57,284 --> 01:01:00,521 Okay, but then he could go to the cops and tell them you threatened him. 1047 01:01:00,554 --> 01:01:02,289 Then they'd really start investigating us. 1048 01:01:03,957 --> 01:01:05,893 That son of a bitch cost me the firm 1049 01:01:05,926 --> 01:01:08,095 that took me 15 years to build! 1050 01:01:09,196 --> 01:01:11,165 15 years. 1051 01:01:13,133 --> 01:01:15,469 Well, if you go to his house and you start waving this around, 1052 01:01:15,502 --> 01:01:17,304 it's gonna cost you a lot more than that. 1053 01:01:23,143 --> 01:01:25,179 Martin didn't sleep at all that night. 1054 01:01:25,212 --> 01:01:27,247 And made damn well sure I didn't either. 1055 01:01:42,663 --> 01:01:44,965 - Minerva Drogues. - Hi, Mr. Rudell. 1056 01:01:44,999 --> 01:01:47,701 - Hi. Mike, please. - Mike, of course. 1057 01:01:47,735 --> 01:01:50,137 - Can I come in? - Come on, come on, please. 1058 01:01:50,170 --> 01:01:52,573 - Okay. - Come on. 1059 01:01:54,108 --> 01:01:56,443 Oh wow, I haven't been here since you redecorated. 1060 01:01:56,477 --> 01:01:58,379 Yeah, I just... I just got all this finished. 1061 01:01:58,412 --> 01:02:01,849 I'm so sorry that your mother never got to see it. 1062 01:02:01,882 --> 01:02:03,884 I'm sure she'd approve. 1063 01:02:03,917 --> 01:02:07,221 Oh. Hey, if you don't mind my asking... 1064 01:02:10,024 --> 01:02:12,960 - how are you doing? - I'm all right. 1065 01:02:12,993 --> 01:02:14,895 - I mean it's been hard. - Yeah yeah yeah. 1066 01:02:14,928 --> 01:02:16,730 I guess I just keep telling myself that 1067 01:02:16,764 --> 01:02:19,600 she's probably much happier where she is now. 1068 01:02:19,633 --> 01:02:22,136 Oh... gosh. You know what? You're absolutely... 1069 01:02:22,169 --> 01:02:24,805 - Positive? - No, I was going to say... 1070 01:02:24,838 --> 01:02:26,707 correct. 1071 01:02:26,740 --> 01:02:28,709 Have you seen that show? 1072 01:02:29,710 --> 01:02:31,945 Have I seen that show? 1073 01:02:31,979 --> 01:02:34,648 Stop it! That's my favorite show, 1074 01:02:34,682 --> 01:02:36,550 - I love that show. - Don't don't. 1075 01:02:36,583 --> 01:02:38,652 I am not lying to you, that's my favorite show. 1076 01:02:38,686 --> 01:02:41,221 I love how you never know if the couples are going to stay together. 1077 01:02:41,255 --> 01:02:44,224 Guh. You know if you'd ever want to visit the set, 1078 01:02:44,258 --> 01:02:47,194 by the way, or spend the day or even be a contestant... 1079 01:02:47,227 --> 01:02:49,096 What do you mean, be a contestant? 1080 01:02:49,129 --> 01:02:50,898 Well, you know, those date's are totally harmless, 1081 01:02:50,931 --> 01:02:53,500 you spend the evening with a person, we prep you on what to say before the show, 1082 01:02:53,534 --> 01:02:55,869 - if that would be fun. - That would be so much fun for me, 1083 01:02:55,903 --> 01:02:57,504 I would love that. 1084 01:02:57,538 --> 01:03:00,174 - Really? Okay. Okay. - Really. It could be fun. 1085 01:03:00,207 --> 01:03:02,309 - Well, then I'll arrange it. - You will? 1086 01:03:03,811 --> 01:03:05,846 It's done. Umm... 1087 01:03:05,879 --> 01:03:08,215 - Anyway, have a seat. - Okay. 1088 01:03:09,383 --> 01:03:13,287 What's... what's on your mind? 1089 01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:14,922 Tell me. 1090 01:03:14,955 --> 01:03:17,024 You know, I... I know this might sound somewhat strange, 1091 01:03:17,057 --> 01:03:20,627 but have you seen any suspicious-looking people around my house lately? 1092 01:03:22,296 --> 01:03:24,264 No. Why? What's... 1093 01:03:24,298 --> 01:03:26,233 is everything okay? Do I have to bust some heads? 1094 01:03:26,266 --> 01:03:28,235 Not today. 1095 01:03:28,268 --> 01:03:30,170 - What's happening? - No, everything's fine. 1096 01:03:30,204 --> 01:03:31,772 It's just that after my mom died someone sent 1097 01:03:31,805 --> 01:03:34,541 this really weird picture of me and Martin together. 1098 01:03:34,575 --> 01:03:37,411 - Together? - Well, it implied that... 1099 01:03:37,444 --> 01:03:40,547 I know this sounds crazy, but it implied that we were a couple. 1100 01:03:40,581 --> 01:03:42,249 A couple? 1101 01:03:42,282 --> 01:03:45,019 You and Martin? Hmm. 1102 01:03:46,286 --> 01:03:48,088 Hmm. Well... 1103 01:03:48,122 --> 01:03:51,825 certainly relations between older men and younger women 1104 01:03:51,859 --> 01:03:55,462 are, uh... are an accepted part of society, 1105 01:03:55,496 --> 01:03:57,431 but that must be creepy, huh, 1106 01:03:57,464 --> 01:03:59,667 getting an anonymous picture? That is so disturbing. 1107 01:03:59,700 --> 01:04:01,969 - Yeah. Yeah, it was. - Hey, just out of curiosity, 1108 01:04:02,002 --> 01:04:04,304 what kind of picture could they have sent you 1109 01:04:04,338 --> 01:04:07,007 to indicate that you and Martin were a couple? 1110 01:04:07,041 --> 01:04:09,977 Well, it's not like I was naked or anything. 1111 01:04:10,010 --> 01:04:12,646 I mean, don't get me wrong, Martin has seen me naked. 1112 01:04:12,680 --> 01:04:14,381 He's my stepfather, so he's seen me naked... 1113 01:04:14,415 --> 01:04:17,384 - Of course. ...but I wasn't naked in the pictures. 1114 01:04:28,162 --> 01:04:30,164 Okay, sing here, sin... 1115 01:04:30,197 --> 01:04:32,433 wow, you're full of chaos and anarchy 1116 01:04:32,466 --> 01:04:34,802 and... and sheer... sheer... 1117 01:04:36,603 --> 01:04:38,372 Golly, now listen to this. 1118 01:04:38,405 --> 01:04:40,274 Listen to this. Sing this. 1119 01:04:46,880 --> 01:04:49,083 I'm amazed the anticipation of pulling off 1120 01:04:49,116 --> 01:04:50,451 a mother-daughter double-dip 1121 01:04:50,484 --> 01:04:52,419 didn't give him a stroke right there. 1122 01:04:54,054 --> 01:04:55,856 Go ahead. Ready? 1123 01:04:57,925 --> 01:05:01,328 - That we want in college. - She's a ho, man. She's a ho. 1124 01:05:01,362 --> 01:05:04,064 - Mini. - Yes, Mr. Bishop? 1125 01:05:04,098 --> 01:05:06,767 I've got a note for you to go to the principal's office right away. 1126 01:05:06,800 --> 01:05:08,969 - Do you? - Aww. 1127 01:05:09,003 --> 01:05:12,006 - Hold this. I'll make it fast. - Mm-hmm. Always do. 1128 01:05:14,575 --> 01:05:16,977 - Detective Garson. - Hello. 1129 01:05:17,011 --> 01:05:19,380 - What's going on? - Mini, have a seat. 1130 01:05:29,890 --> 01:05:33,961 Mini, this tape was shot a week before your mother's death. 1131 01:05:38,032 --> 01:05:41,669 And the next day, the school nurse reported a bottle of Ritalin 1132 01:05:41,702 --> 01:05:43,637 missing from the medicine cabinet. 1133 01:05:46,373 --> 01:05:49,510 And we lifted two sets of prints... 1134 01:05:49,543 --> 01:05:52,613 one from the door, one from the inside of the medicine cabinet... 1135 01:05:52,646 --> 01:05:55,883 and neither one of them matches the nurse. Okay? 1136 01:05:56,817 --> 01:05:58,652 Mini... 1137 01:05:58,686 --> 01:06:02,256 is there something you'd like to say to Detective Garson? 1138 01:06:04,458 --> 01:06:07,394 Can we see the tape of Der Führer sucking down her afternoon fix of vodka? 1139 01:06:07,428 --> 01:06:09,963 Or do you guys not keep cameras in the bathroom stalls? 1140 01:06:09,997 --> 01:06:11,665 Don't you dare do that! 1141 01:06:11,665 --> 01:06:13,934 Don't you dare try to deflect this! 1142 01:06:13,967 --> 01:06:16,270 Stealing, if no one ever told you, 1143 01:06:16,303 --> 01:06:17,871 is a serious matter! 1144 01:06:17,905 --> 01:06:22,543 Stealing prescription drugs from a school is a very serious matter! 1145 01:06:26,113 --> 01:06:28,449 You got me, okay? 1146 01:06:28,482 --> 01:06:30,884 - But what was I supposed to do? - What does that mean? 1147 01:06:30,918 --> 01:06:33,887 - Well, she said if I didn't... - Who s... who, another student? 1148 01:06:33,921 --> 01:06:36,256 No, my mother. She made me steal them for her. 1149 01:06:36,290 --> 01:06:38,892 I didn't want to, but she said she was going to send me to boarding school 1150 01:06:38,926 --> 01:06:40,761 - in Canada if I didn't. - Canada? 1151 01:06:40,794 --> 01:06:42,763 The Yukon Territories. 1152 01:06:42,796 --> 01:06:44,999 Are you happy now? 1153 01:06:46,834 --> 01:06:49,503 Oh my Lord, I had no idea. 1154 01:06:50,771 --> 01:06:53,841 - She was... - What? What, an addict? 1155 01:06:53,874 --> 01:06:55,976 Detective Garson knew. 1156 01:06:58,379 --> 01:07:00,848 My mommy's dead, okay? Can't we just let her be? 1157 01:07:03,250 --> 01:07:05,052 Detective Garson. 1158 01:07:06,153 --> 01:07:08,122 I assume there won't be any need 1159 01:07:08,155 --> 01:07:10,624 to press charges against Ms. Drogues? 1160 01:07:15,195 --> 01:07:18,032 Oh, hey, Mr. Tannen. I was actually just coming to see you. 1161 01:07:18,065 --> 01:07:19,366 Have you got a minute? 1162 01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:22,169 Detective, I thought I said no more questions without my lawyer. 1163 01:07:22,202 --> 01:07:24,938 Yeah, um, I think you'd better call him. 1164 01:07:28,676 --> 01:07:32,613 Yeah, so there's a small discrepancy 1165 01:07:32,646 --> 01:07:37,151 I couldn't quite figure it out, and I was hoping maybe you could explain it. 1166 01:07:37,184 --> 01:07:39,386 - I suppose I can try. - Okay. 1167 01:07:39,420 --> 01:07:42,456 Yeah, we got the final toxicology report 1168 01:07:42,489 --> 01:07:45,225 and your wife definitely didn't die from the pills. 1169 01:07:45,259 --> 01:07:47,661 She wasn't conscious past 9:30, 1170 01:07:47,695 --> 01:07:50,898 but it was the fumes that killed her. 1171 01:07:50,931 --> 01:07:53,300 Hallelujah. 1172 01:07:53,334 --> 01:07:55,369 - Thanks for the update. - Martin, Martin, easy. 1173 01:07:55,402 --> 01:07:57,471 - Come on, this is harassment here. - Just... please. 1174 01:07:57,504 --> 01:08:00,140 Well, see, here's what I wanted to ask. 1175 01:08:00,174 --> 01:08:02,910 The gas tank in the Jag was almost completely full, 1176 01:08:02,943 --> 01:08:04,979 only about a gallon of fuel had been used. 1177 01:08:05,012 --> 01:08:06,447 And? 1178 01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:10,250 Well, if she was unconscious by 9:30, 1179 01:08:10,284 --> 01:08:13,454 that means that the car would've been running for at least two hours 1180 01:08:13,487 --> 01:08:15,389 by the time you found her, 1181 01:08:15,422 --> 01:08:18,025 and an unconscious person can't turn on a car, right? 1182 01:08:18,058 --> 01:08:21,462 Detective, with all due respect, could you get to the point? 1183 01:08:21,495 --> 01:08:23,731 That's the part where I get kind of confused, you see. 1184 01:08:23,764 --> 01:08:28,469 In that model Jaguar, if you were to leave it idling for two hours, 1185 01:08:28,502 --> 01:08:32,006 it would burn at least four gallons of fuel. 1186 01:08:32,039 --> 01:08:33,641 You see? 1187 01:08:35,743 --> 01:08:39,580 So, it doesn't... it doesn't really seem like there's any way 1188 01:08:39,613 --> 01:08:43,050 that the gas tank could be full 1189 01:08:43,083 --> 01:08:45,653 if it had been running for two hours. 1190 01:08:47,121 --> 01:08:48,689 Right? 1191 01:08:48,722 --> 01:08:51,125 So I guess, you know, 1192 01:08:51,158 --> 01:08:53,861 what I'm asking is, you know, 1193 01:08:53,894 --> 01:08:56,363 whose idea was to put her in the car? 1194 01:08:56,397 --> 01:08:58,666 Martin, Martin. Don't... don't say anything. 1195 01:08:58,699 --> 01:09:00,668 Look, Mr. Tannen. 1196 01:09:00,701 --> 01:09:04,405 I know that you're the person that has the most to gain from your wife's death. 1197 01:09:04,438 --> 01:09:08,542 But I've also learned from talking to her friends 1198 01:09:08,575 --> 01:09:11,011 that she and Mini had a pretty strained relationship. 1199 01:09:11,045 --> 01:09:13,280 Uh, excuse me, what's your first name again? 1200 01:09:13,314 --> 01:09:16,150 - It's Dwight. - Listen, Dwight. 1201 01:09:16,183 --> 01:09:18,018 Do I look like the kind of guy who's going to allow my client 1202 01:09:18,052 --> 01:09:19,987 to sit here and listen to these questions in these circumstances? 1203 01:09:20,020 --> 01:09:22,523 Don't insult my intelligence, Dwight. 1204 01:09:22,556 --> 01:09:25,159 - Just cut to the chase. - Okay, I'd just like for Mr. Tannen 1205 01:09:25,192 --> 01:09:27,227 to know that if he's trying to be a protective father 1206 01:09:27,261 --> 01:09:29,363 by covering up something Mini might have done, 1207 01:09:29,396 --> 01:09:32,232 I'd really think twice about it. I really would. 1208 01:09:32,266 --> 01:09:35,202 'Cause the D.A. In this case, he's viewing it, you know, 1209 01:09:35,235 --> 01:09:37,204 as kind of an opportunity to show the public 1210 01:09:37,237 --> 01:09:39,473 that the rich can't get away with murder in this town. 1211 01:09:48,983 --> 01:09:51,318 Does this mean that he's offering Mr. Tannen immunity 1212 01:09:51,352 --> 01:09:53,587 if he says he was protecting his daughter? 1213 01:09:55,956 --> 01:09:58,459 Yeah, that's a strong possibility. 1214 01:09:58,492 --> 01:10:02,029 But he also wants Mr. Tannen to know that if he doesn't do it, 1215 01:10:02,062 --> 01:10:04,298 he's going to go for the maximum sentence. 1216 01:10:04,331 --> 01:10:07,368 No manslaughter, no plea bargain. 1217 01:10:08,335 --> 01:10:10,004 Nothing. 1218 01:10:10,037 --> 01:10:13,107 It was Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick. 1219 01:10:13,140 --> 01:10:15,376 Ms. Drogues, as your lawyer, I think... 1220 01:10:15,409 --> 01:10:17,778 Don't wet your pants. I know when to shut up. 1221 01:10:17,811 --> 01:10:20,080 And swallow. 1222 01:10:20,114 --> 01:10:24,151 Look. The fact that the marriage was unhappy 1223 01:10:24,184 --> 01:10:25,986 and that there was no prenup, 1224 01:10:26,020 --> 01:10:28,656 that gives all of the motive to Martin, okay? 1225 01:10:28,689 --> 01:10:32,426 - So you want me to say it was his idea? - Well, if it was his idea, 1226 01:10:32,459 --> 01:10:35,429 can you give me one good reason why you should take the fall? 1227 01:10:40,934 --> 01:10:43,704 So you're saying if I tell the jury it was his idea, 1228 01:10:43,737 --> 01:10:46,006 and I was scared for my life because he said he'd kill me 1229 01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:48,676 if I ever told anyone, that I walk? 1230 01:10:52,179 --> 01:10:53,647 Sst! 1231 01:10:57,318 --> 01:11:00,387 Sorry, sport, but I'll take my chances. 1232 01:11:05,125 --> 01:11:08,095 I never doubted for a moment you were gonna hold firm, 1233 01:11:08,128 --> 01:11:10,164 not for a second. I hope you know that. 1234 01:11:11,131 --> 01:11:13,600 - You know that? - Yeah. 1235 01:11:14,601 --> 01:11:16,270 Good. 1236 01:11:16,303 --> 01:11:19,573 You realize we're going to have to learn to rely on each other? 1237 01:11:19,606 --> 01:11:21,809 I have only one concern now. 1238 01:11:21,809 --> 01:11:23,410 What? 1239 01:11:24,411 --> 01:11:26,180 Rudell. 1240 01:11:26,213 --> 01:11:29,683 If a jury finds out we're a couple, then we both have a motive. 1241 01:11:29,717 --> 01:11:32,386 And that changes everything. 1242 01:11:33,754 --> 01:11:36,623 Don't worry about him, baby. He's just jealous. 1243 01:11:36,657 --> 01:11:38,225 Even if he did send that picture, 1244 01:11:38,225 --> 01:11:41,395 what does it prove? Nothing. 1245 01:11:49,870 --> 01:11:52,640 Oh hey, come and watch. Come on, you're missing... I'm on TV. 1246 01:11:52,673 --> 01:11:55,242 What? Why? 1247 01:11:55,275 --> 01:11:57,044 Hurry up, the commercial's almost over. 1248 01:11:57,077 --> 01:11:59,580 Welcome back to "Absolutely Positive." 1249 01:11:59,613 --> 01:12:03,417 Now it's time to hear how the date between Jason and Mini ended. 1250 01:12:03,450 --> 01:12:06,086 - Jason, you said... - You went on this... 1251 01:12:06,120 --> 01:12:07,521 Shh! Yeah, I thought it'd be a gas. 1252 01:12:07,554 --> 01:12:10,357 ...to test your ability to resist temptation? 1253 01:12:12,092 --> 01:12:16,530 Um, well, since Becky and I have dated since high school, 1254 01:12:16,563 --> 01:12:21,735 and we decided to remain virgins until marriage, 1255 01:12:21,769 --> 01:12:24,438 I wanted to go on another date 1256 01:12:24,471 --> 01:12:27,574 with another girl just to... to see how I would react, 1257 01:12:27,608 --> 01:12:30,544 you know, to see if there were any doubts 1258 01:12:30,577 --> 01:12:32,446 - about my decision. - Hmm. 1259 01:12:32,479 --> 01:12:34,548 So after dinner, what happened? 1260 01:12:34,581 --> 01:12:39,653 Um, well, she suggested this dance club that she knew. 1261 01:12:39,687 --> 01:12:43,057 I'm not really a good dancer, but I said yes. 1262 01:12:43,057 --> 01:12:45,959 - We never go dancing. - Mini, Jason a good dancer? 1263 01:12:45,993 --> 01:12:48,062 Well, he's a damn quick learner. 1264 01:12:48,095 --> 01:12:50,064 Not just at dancing. 1265 01:12:50,097 --> 01:12:53,167 Oh, you mean there was some other teacher-student stuff going on? 1266 01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:54,601 No, not really. 1267 01:12:54,635 --> 01:12:56,136 What about when we went back to your place? 1268 01:12:56,170 --> 01:12:58,806 - You what? - That's... that's not true. 1269 01:12:58,839 --> 01:13:01,742 - Why are you doing this? - Why are you being so shy? 1270 01:13:01,775 --> 01:13:03,444 - Jason? - We turned on some music, 1271 01:13:03,477 --> 01:13:06,313 - we started kissing. - Shut up! 1272 01:13:06,347 --> 01:13:08,682 But, JJ, you said it was special. 1273 01:13:08,716 --> 01:13:11,885 You... you slept with her?! 1274 01:13:11,919 --> 01:13:14,722 - No. No! - To say the least. 1275 01:13:14,755 --> 01:13:18,258 - You slept with him? - God, Martin, it was a one-time thing. 1276 01:13:18,292 --> 01:13:21,528 Put it this way: You're in for a wild ride from this bronco. 1277 01:13:21,562 --> 01:13:23,464 He was a virgin, how could I say no? 1278 01:13:23,497 --> 01:13:26,867 It won't happen again, okay? I promise. He was just a goof. 1279 01:13:26,900 --> 01:13:29,203 Yeah, JJ, tell us more! 1280 01:13:30,270 --> 01:13:32,773 Rudell. He let you go on there? 1281 01:13:32,806 --> 01:13:34,708 Yeah, I thought it'd be fun. 1282 01:13:34,742 --> 01:13:36,710 I mean, I wasn't really supposed to, you know, 1283 01:13:36,744 --> 01:13:38,379 go all the way with him, but... 1284 01:13:38,412 --> 01:13:40,514 I can't believe you. 1285 01:13:40,547 --> 01:13:43,684 That couple, you've ruined their relationship. 1286 01:13:43,717 --> 01:13:46,553 The show is called "Absolutely Positive" for a reason. 1287 01:13:46,587 --> 01:13:49,123 Clearly the only thing Jason was positive about 1288 01:13:49,156 --> 01:13:51,325 was, uh... yeah. 1289 01:13:52,993 --> 01:13:56,230 You really are a sick little twist, you know that? 1290 01:13:57,631 --> 01:13:59,566 Well, what does that make you? 1291 01:14:05,472 --> 01:14:07,408 I need some air. 1292 01:14:10,444 --> 01:14:12,513 By the way, some intern from your office 1293 01:14:12,546 --> 01:14:14,548 stopped by earlier today with something. 1294 01:14:14,581 --> 01:14:16,917 It's on the bar. 1295 01:14:26,427 --> 01:14:28,195 What is it? 1296 01:14:33,133 --> 01:14:36,303 I think it's time I had a little chat with our neighbor. 1297 01:14:36,337 --> 01:14:39,039 No, this is exactly what he wants. 1298 01:14:39,073 --> 01:14:40,708 What if he's working with Garson? 1299 01:14:40,741 --> 01:14:42,776 Then he can't blackmail me. I want you to wait here. 1300 01:14:42,810 --> 01:14:44,912 - I'll be right back in a minute. - Let me go with you. 1301 01:14:44,945 --> 01:14:47,581 - I said wait here. - Let me just talk to him, okay? 1302 01:14:47,614 --> 01:14:51,352 - He promised me he wouldn't hurt us. - Oh, he did? 1303 01:14:51,385 --> 01:14:53,854 - When? - A few days ago. 1304 01:14:53,887 --> 01:14:55,522 - You saw him? - Yeah, 1305 01:14:55,556 --> 01:14:57,858 I went to try to find out what he knew. I spent the afternoon with him. 1306 01:14:57,891 --> 01:14:59,426 You spent the afternoon with him? 1307 01:14:59,460 --> 01:15:00,761 I was doing it for us. 1308 01:15:00,794 --> 01:15:03,063 I figured he wouldn't turn us in if... 1309 01:15:03,097 --> 01:15:04,665 If you what?! 1310 01:15:04,698 --> 01:15:08,002 If I made him think I was interested. 1311 01:15:11,205 --> 01:15:14,341 - Please tell me that you didn't. - No. 1312 01:15:15,309 --> 01:15:17,077 No. 1313 01:15:17,111 --> 01:15:20,014 I just made him think that I would, so that he wouldn't turn us in. 1314 01:15:20,047 --> 01:15:22,316 Thank you. 1315 01:15:22,349 --> 01:15:24,351 I appreciate your restraint. 1316 01:15:24,385 --> 01:15:26,854 You ungrateful son of a bitch. 1317 01:15:26,887 --> 01:15:29,590 I'd think you'd be a little more appreciative. I was doing it for us. 1318 01:15:29,623 --> 01:15:32,593 For us? And who were you doing it for 1319 01:15:32,626 --> 01:15:34,795 when you were doing it with the kid on that show?! 1320 01:15:34,828 --> 01:15:37,665 Who was that selfless act for?! 1321 01:15:37,698 --> 01:15:41,068 Oh, like you're such a martyr for being faithful. 1322 01:15:41,101 --> 01:15:44,972 It shows amazing restraint to limit yourself to just one stepdaughter. 1323 01:15:46,840 --> 01:15:49,476 Don't lecture me about infidelity. 1324 01:15:49,510 --> 01:15:52,313 Your mother was cheating on me within six months 1325 01:15:52,346 --> 01:15:54,114 of the "I do's." 1326 01:15:54,148 --> 01:15:57,251 - If you'll excuse me... - Okay, look. I'm sorry. 1327 01:15:57,284 --> 01:15:59,153 - Let go of me. - You're making a mistake, 1328 01:15:59,186 --> 01:16:01,922 - trust me. - I said let go of me. 1329 01:16:01,955 --> 01:16:04,158 You're hurting me. 1330 01:16:04,191 --> 01:16:07,194 Now you wait here until I get back. Do you understand? 1331 01:16:08,562 --> 01:16:10,864 Say "Yes, Martin." 1332 01:16:10,864 --> 01:16:12,499 Yes, Martin. 1333 01:16:27,314 --> 01:16:29,984 Martin. What a surprise. 1334 01:16:30,017 --> 01:16:33,721 - How are you? - I just saw Mini on your show. 1335 01:16:33,754 --> 01:16:35,889 Oh, was... was tonight the night? 1336 01:16:35,889 --> 01:16:38,759 You know, I auditioned lots of girls, 1337 01:16:38,792 --> 01:16:43,030 and she was, uh, fucking incredible. 1338 01:16:43,063 --> 01:16:45,099 Uh-huh. A real natural, huh? 1339 01:16:45,132 --> 01:16:47,368 Yeah, like a duck takes to water. 1340 01:16:47,401 --> 01:16:49,503 Totally... 1341 01:16:49,536 --> 01:16:51,505 willing to take direction. 1342 01:16:51,538 --> 01:16:54,775 I wish all the girls I worked with had her, uh... 1343 01:16:54,808 --> 01:16:56,710 how can I put this? 1344 01:16:57,811 --> 01:17:00,981 ...need to please. - Oh. 1345 01:17:01,015 --> 01:17:02,950 Hi, I need the police sent right away 1346 01:17:02,983 --> 01:17:05,386 to 25051 Mira Loma Lane. 1347 01:17:10,491 --> 01:17:11,759 No! 1348 01:17:14,895 --> 01:17:17,498 You motherfucker! 1349 01:17:33,514 --> 01:17:35,249 Ow ow ow ow! 1350 01:17:52,766 --> 01:17:54,802 Where are they, huh? 1351 01:17:54,802 --> 01:17:57,137 What are you talking about? 1352 01:17:57,137 --> 01:17:59,239 Don't fuck with me... the negatives, where are they? 1353 01:17:59,273 --> 01:18:00,808 What? 1354 01:18:10,417 --> 01:18:13,387 How do you like that, you son of a bitch, huh? 1355 01:18:15,389 --> 01:18:17,191 You thought you could have my wife, 1356 01:18:17,224 --> 01:18:18,926 then my daughter? 1357 01:18:18,959 --> 01:18:20,527 Well, I'm sorry, pal. 1358 01:18:21,528 --> 01:18:23,330 She's mine. 1359 01:18:26,400 --> 01:18:29,169 Okay, you listen to me, you son of a bitch, 1360 01:18:29,203 --> 01:18:32,039 you give me those negatives or, so help me God, 1361 01:18:32,072 --> 01:18:34,308 I'm gonna crack your head open! 1362 01:18:34,341 --> 01:18:35,809 Let him go! 1363 01:18:35,843 --> 01:18:37,511 - Go get the negatives. - No, this is insane! 1364 01:18:37,544 --> 01:18:39,313 - Stop! No stop! - I need those negatives. 1365 01:18:39,313 --> 01:18:41,015 You're gonna kill him! Stop! 1366 01:18:41,048 --> 01:18:43,150 What the hell is wrong with you? He's gonna tell everybody! 1367 01:18:43,183 --> 01:18:44,752 Freeze! Sheriff's Department! 1368 01:18:44,785 --> 01:18:47,588 - Drop the club! - He's crazy. I told him to stop. 1369 01:18:47,621 --> 01:18:49,490 I told him. 1370 01:19:13,847 --> 01:19:16,784 With Rudell having slipped into a coma after the fight, 1371 01:19:16,817 --> 01:19:19,153 and Garson uncovering my mom's affair with him, 1372 01:19:19,186 --> 01:19:23,257 suddenly that gas-gauge theory went from circumstantial to airtight. 1373 01:19:23,290 --> 01:19:25,259 Martin realized trying to pin anything on me 1374 01:19:25,292 --> 01:19:27,027 would probably get him the chair. 1375 01:19:27,061 --> 01:19:29,330 At his sentencing, I begged for leniency. 1376 01:19:43,577 --> 01:19:45,112 - Hey! - Hey. 1377 01:19:45,145 --> 01:19:47,648 - I'm sorry I'm late. - It's okay. 1378 01:19:47,681 --> 01:19:49,683 I forgot to bring that book you wanted. 1379 01:19:49,717 --> 01:19:51,318 It's all right. You can mail it to me. 1380 01:19:53,153 --> 01:19:56,323 Are you okay? Have you showered since you've been in here? 1381 01:19:56,357 --> 01:19:57,925 Uh-huh. 1382 01:19:57,958 --> 01:20:00,661 You know, in here you gotta be careful when you... 1383 01:20:00,694 --> 01:20:02,029 so how's school? 1384 01:20:02,062 --> 01:20:03,764 Oh my God, you'll never guess what happened. 1385 01:20:03,797 --> 01:20:06,600 - What happened? - As many of you know, 1386 01:20:06,634 --> 01:20:08,936 the past few months of my life have been very difficult. 1387 01:20:08,969 --> 01:20:11,672 I don't know how I would've gotten through it without all of you. 1388 01:20:11,705 --> 01:20:14,575 I really think it's a testament to the love in this institution 1389 01:20:14,608 --> 01:20:16,143 that I stand before you today 1390 01:20:16,176 --> 01:20:18,445 as the first straight-C student in school history 1391 01:20:18,479 --> 01:20:20,314 to be voted valedictorian. 1392 01:20:20,347 --> 01:20:22,516 - But don't you have to be... - The best student? I know. 1393 01:20:22,549 --> 01:20:25,819 But the students voted and they said they wanted me to have it 1394 01:20:25,853 --> 01:20:28,789 for..."demonstrating remarkable courage 1395 01:20:28,822 --> 01:20:30,391 in the face of unspeakable loss." 1396 01:20:30,424 --> 01:20:32,359 Huh. 1397 01:20:32,393 --> 01:20:35,529 Wow, I wonder how the real valedictorian must feel about that. 1398 01:20:35,562 --> 01:20:37,197 Again to Marvin Tepperman, 1399 01:20:37,231 --> 01:20:38,866 the real valedictorian, 1400 01:20:38,899 --> 01:20:42,169 he deserved this and I want to wish him a speedy recovery. 1401 01:20:43,203 --> 01:20:44,371 I spoke to his doctors today 1402 01:20:44,405 --> 01:20:45,973 and they say with medication and therapy, 1403 01:20:46,006 --> 01:20:48,042 Marvin should be able to attend Harvard this fall. 1404 01:20:48,075 --> 01:20:50,144 Did Rudell come out of his coma yet? 1405 01:20:50,177 --> 01:20:52,479 I don't know. Why? 1406 01:20:52,513 --> 01:20:55,182 Why? Because if he recovers, 1407 01:20:55,215 --> 01:20:57,084 he could blackmail you with those pictures. 1408 01:20:57,117 --> 01:20:59,720 I wouldn't worry about that. 1409 01:20:59,753 --> 01:21:02,289 Yeah, but if the DA got those pictures, he could... 1410 01:21:02,323 --> 01:21:05,092 I'm pretty sure he won't be doing anything with them. 1411 01:21:05,125 --> 01:21:08,162 I have met some people in here who can help us with him 1412 01:21:08,195 --> 01:21:09,763 if it comes down to that. 1413 01:21:09,797 --> 01:21:11,932 - Help us? - Well, they know people on the outside 1414 01:21:11,966 --> 01:21:14,969 that we could pay to stop him from taking advantage of you. 1415 01:21:15,002 --> 01:21:17,137 Oh, that's so romantic! 1416 01:21:17,171 --> 01:21:20,207 It's like you're a real-life criminal with connections and everything, 1417 01:21:20,240 --> 01:21:23,177 but I'm a little surprised you haven't figured it out yet. 1418 01:21:23,210 --> 01:21:24,945 Figured what out? 1419 01:21:26,280 --> 01:21:29,249 Rudell didn't send those pictures. 1420 01:21:31,185 --> 01:21:34,321 - You remember Aurelio? - Aurelio? 1421 01:21:34,355 --> 01:21:36,824 - Our cabana boy from Mexico. - Uh-huh. 1422 01:21:36,857 --> 01:21:38,826 Yeah, what a sweetie. 1423 01:21:38,859 --> 01:21:40,227 I thought I might have to fuck him, 1424 01:21:40,260 --> 01:21:41,996 but just giving him the camera was enough. 1425 01:21:44,665 --> 01:21:46,500 You mean that you... 1426 01:21:46,533 --> 01:21:48,535 While I may not have excelled in the classroom, 1427 01:21:48,569 --> 01:21:50,304 I think that my recent experiences 1428 01:21:50,337 --> 01:21:52,272 in that bigger schoolhouse we call life 1429 01:21:52,306 --> 01:21:55,209 has taught me a few lessons that I'd like to share with my fellow graduates. 1430 01:21:55,242 --> 01:21:57,745 Martin, it was pretty clear Garson wasn't gonna give up, 1431 01:21:57,778 --> 01:22:00,714 and sooner or later he'd find enough to charge us. 1432 01:22:00,748 --> 01:22:03,951 It just seemed ridiculous that we'd both end up suffering. 1433 01:22:03,984 --> 01:22:05,953 How could you do this to me?! 1434 01:22:05,986 --> 01:22:07,821 Follow your heart and don't question it 1435 01:22:07,855 --> 01:22:09,423 no matter where it tells you to go. 1436 01:22:09,456 --> 01:22:11,825 Come on, you would have done it if you'd thought of it first. 1437 01:22:11,825 --> 01:22:14,361 Why the fuck did you do this to me?! 1438 01:22:14,395 --> 01:22:17,564 Trust me, it'll open up a world of new experiences you can't even imagine. 1439 01:22:17,598 --> 01:22:19,500 Hey, listen, since conjugal visits are 1440 01:22:19,533 --> 01:22:21,802 pretty much out of the question, 1441 01:22:21,835 --> 01:22:24,505 I was thinking maybe we could try a little prison phone sex. 1442 01:22:24,538 --> 01:22:26,874 You know, I might even be able to pop one out right here 1443 01:22:26,907 --> 01:22:28,842 without anyone seeing. Are you ready? 1444 01:22:28,876 --> 01:22:30,010 - Guard! - Are you sure? 1445 01:22:30,044 --> 01:22:31,545 I won't be able to come back for a few weeks. 1446 01:22:31,578 --> 01:22:33,914 Don't forget your family, your parents. 1447 01:22:33,947 --> 01:22:36,450 - Wait, have you met someone in here? - Guard! 1448 01:22:36,483 --> 01:22:37,885 Don't forget they're people too, 1449 01:22:37,918 --> 01:22:39,119 and while you may not always agree with them... 1450 01:22:39,153 --> 01:22:42,289 Why, you old dog! I knew you wouldn't be single in here for long. 1451 01:22:42,289 --> 01:22:43,958 ...remember to love them when they need love. 1452 01:22:43,991 --> 01:22:46,060 Guard, she did it! She just admitted it! 1453 01:22:46,093 --> 01:22:47,528 And I mean really love them. 1454 01:22:47,561 --> 01:22:48,929 Don't just pay them lip service. 1455 01:22:48,963 --> 01:22:51,198 It was her idea! It was your fucking idea! 1456 01:22:51,231 --> 01:22:53,567 - Really do it whenever you can. - Don't let her leave! 1457 01:22:53,600 --> 01:22:55,836 She's guilty! Get the warden! What the fuck are you... 1458 01:22:55,869 --> 01:22:59,239 - I know I did. - You little fuckin' whore! 1459 01:22:59,273 --> 01:23:01,809 I'm gonna kill you, you little fuckin' bitch! 1460 01:23:01,809 --> 01:23:03,477 Get down! 1461 01:23:03,510 --> 01:23:06,246 And I just wish that my dad could be here today, 1462 01:23:06,280 --> 01:23:08,582 so that after this speech, I could walk into the audience 1463 01:23:08,615 --> 01:23:10,784 and give him my love right here in front of all of you. 1464 01:23:10,818 --> 01:23:13,887 Come here! Motherfucking... 1465 01:23:13,921 --> 01:23:15,489 Thank you and good luck. 1466 01:23:28,102 --> 01:23:30,437 Hmm, persistent, isn't he? 1467 01:23:30,471 --> 01:23:33,774 The truth is I wouldn't mind being cuffed by him, 1468 01:23:33,807 --> 01:23:35,943 and he would be my first detective. 1469 01:23:47,354 --> 01:23:49,957 Like I promised... with desire, 1470 01:23:49,990 --> 01:23:53,761 focus and the willingness to treat any obstacle as an opportunity, 1471 01:23:53,794 --> 01:23:56,230 it's amazing what you can accomplish. 1472 01:23:56,263 --> 01:23:58,132 And in case you're feeling guilty 1473 01:23:58,165 --> 01:24:02,303 about having no one to identify with but me, relax. 1474 01:24:02,336 --> 01:24:04,371 There's a first time for everything.