1
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,240
"30 years."

2
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:10,560
"Geez, that's how long
it's been, Dr. Venture."

3
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:14,000
"Do you remember that day?
State of the art, you said."

4
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:16,600
"And Oi, nothing's gonna happen."

5
00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:19,920
"And at the first sign of trouble
you abandon your best friend"

6
00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:22,520
"strand me
in this fucking hellhole!"

7
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:25,000
"What?
It would've killed you to call?"

8
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:36,320
"That's it.
Just like that."

9
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:39,280
"Easy! Pull back a bit.
God, you're right on top of me!"

10
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,600
"Can't help it. It's...
it's stiff, Doc."

11
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,560
Maybe I should lube this thing up
before we take it down there.

12
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,040
"It'll be fine."

13
00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:48,520
"It's not built for speed.
It's built for deep penetration."

14
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:50,520
All right, that's it.

15
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,480
You promised, no penetration jokes.

16
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:56,120
Come on! Look at that thing!
How could I resist?

17
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:58,000
It's practically a monument
to my father's repression.

18
00:00:58,120 --> 00:00:59,880
"You want me to
turn this thing around?"

19
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,400
Fine, spoilsport.

20
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,480
All right, keep it moving.
You're doing fi...

21
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:08,800
Doc, what's goin' on?
Am I clear or what?

22
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,520
What the hell, Doc?
Now where'd you...

23
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:16,120
Snap, Doc! Doc?
You okay down there?

24
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:17,680
Did you break anything?

25
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,440
How's your hip?

26
00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,000
Doc, can you hear me?

27
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:22,720
Doc? Doc?

28
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,960
Why, yes, I'm fine, Brock.
Thanks for asking.

29
00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:31,160
Gonna need you to throw down
a rope or something, though.

30
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,160
And my wellies
if you can find them.

31
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,760
If you go in my closet they're
on the bottom left of my shoe

32
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:38,480
Hello, are you listening?

33
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:39,920
Brock?

34
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:43,760
okay, if you're screening me
this is an official emergency

35
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:49,320
and your employer would like you
to pick up in 3, 2, 1?

36
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,760
Doc?
Doc, ya down there?

37
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,600
Die, Dr. Venture!

38
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:05,440
Damn it!

39
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,600
Holy crap!
You're not a rat!

40
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,200
And you're not
Dr. Venture.

41
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:18,760
No, no, no, no, no!

42
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,040
You closed it.
Why would you do that?

43
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,640
It was an accident!
What?

44
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,960
This is a nuclear
fallout shelter, Boychick.

45
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,720
You just set the time lock
for 40 years... another 40 years!

46
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,360
- Get outta here.
- I would if I could!

47
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,280
Now, where the hell is Jonas?
Why isn't he with you?

48
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,520
See? Same with Brock's channel.
It's like they vanished into thin air.

49
00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:39,320
Which is kind of your whole deal, so...

50
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,320
And you're certain they haven't
simply stepped out?

51
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,160
They have been known to engage...

52
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:46,640
in impromptu derring-do
from time to time.

53
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,080
Without us?

54
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,560
Can you think of
even one place on Earth...

55
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,080
they wouldn't drag us along to?

56
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,440
Look at this.
That is a giant centipede scar!

57
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:57,800
Besides, the X-1 's still in the hangar
and we had plans today.

58
00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:00,920
Family plans.
There was even talk of French toast.

59
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:02,880
But there was none to be had.

60
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,560
A most compelling mystery, indeed.

61
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,200
Make yourselves comfortable
sons of Venture...

62
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:13,000
while I assemble
The order of the Triad!

63
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,320
Would you prefer
to be alone for this?

64
00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,360
Magic beacon, shed your light

65
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:19,920
through fog of time
and darkest night

66
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:23,240
though scorpions sting
and spiders bite

67
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,720
that we may wage our triune fight!

68
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:31,080
He wrote a little poem
to his dollies.

69
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:32,840
Really? He's dead?

70
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,680
You don't say.
How long is he dead?

71
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,320
Like 20 years.
Where you been?

72
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:38,800
Here for, like, 30.

73
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:42,120
So, that's really how
people wear their hair now?

74
00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,000
- Men?
- Look, you're so freakin' clever

75
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,480
how'd you get your little ass
stuck in here the first time?

76
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:50,000
Well, as with all
juicy science-fiction tales

77
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,680
this one starts with an accident.

78
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,080
We were testing the system
something went horribly wrong

79
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,080
and Jonas abandoned the project.
End of story.

80
00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,520
Would've been nice if he'd at least
taken a last look around

81
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,920
maybe see if he forgot nothing
best friend.

82
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,160
Geez, no wonder
you wanted to kill him.

83
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,880
I'm really not
a violent man by nature

84
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,760
but 30 years
fending off giant army ants

85
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,680
- makes anyone a little jumpy.
- I can imagine.

86
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,920
No, you really can't.

87
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,440
And just when
you've killed the last of them

88
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,720
and you think it's okay
to feel safe again

89
00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:20,880
that's when the real horror begins.

90
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,640
That's when you realize
you're all alone.

91
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:27,000
- There's no one left to talk to.
- you could talk to the ants?

92
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:30,120
No, you don't wanna actually
talk to them, That would be silly.

93
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,000
They wouldn't have
anything to say anyway, other than...

94
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,920
"Hey, let's eat and/or have sex
with this us-sized guy."

95
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,960
Order of the Triad, assemble!

96
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,000
What do you want?
My stories are on.

97
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,640
Where this sucker at?

98
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:51,280
Can't hide from the blood eye, baby.

99
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:52,960
I'm on ya.

100
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,760
Order of the Triad, assemble!

101
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,320
Damn it, Orpheus.
I almost had that bloodsucker.

102
00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,320
Now I got the blue balls
in my blood eye.

103
00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,280
My apologies, old friend.

104
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:06,920
But the order of the Triad is ne...
what are you doing in...

105
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,360
is this London?

106
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:09,960
Hey, man, I gotta go
where the Blacktion is.

107
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,200
What the hell are you talking about?
This is my apartment.

108
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:13,640
Not you.
I was talking to Jefferson.

109
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,360
- I am Jefferson.
- No, now I'm talking to Al.

110
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:19,920
You are ordered to stay close
in case of a Triad emergency!

111
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:22,120
You talking to me?

112
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,360
Will you learn
how to double-project already?

113
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,440
It gets confusing.

114
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,200
But would you hold?

115
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,600
- Yes, I understand
- Tell him I say hi, at least.

116
00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:33,320
Two... you don't order me
to do anything. You're not my mama.

117
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,320
She was taken by Marauding
Blaculas when I was 10.

118
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:36,880
And I'm sorry for your loss, but...

119
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,280
Three... there is never
a Triad emergency.

120
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,040
Well, there's no need
to be petulant about it.

121
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:42,480
Give him hell, J.T.!

122
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,560
And four...
this ain't London.

123
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:50,400
Sweet!
The action figures came?

124
00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:53,600
Finally! Merchandising
that's where the real money's at!

125
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,640
- Cha-ching!
- Actually, Hasbro passed.

126
00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,960
- These I made myself.
- Nice work.

127
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,880
Little on the creepy side, but
you sculpted these yourself?

128
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,360
Heavens, no.

129
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,760
I merely repainted
an old Mego doll of the Falcon.

130
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:10,640
Would you rather be Spock
with a bald spot? I'll trade ya.

131
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:17,800
Well, now I know why my heating
bills are through the roof.

132
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:26,760
What the...

133
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,680
Well, I don't detect any astral rifts...

134
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,520
temporal anomalies,
or ectoplasmic residue.

135
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,640
And they haven't been
taken by Blaculas

136
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,960
though I'm not prepared
to rule out Caucasian vampires.

137
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:44,000
It appears your father was engaged
in some sort of experiment.

138
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,680
But why would he
abandon it in such haste?

139
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,520
- He gets bored pretty easy.
- And rarely tidies his work area.

140
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:52,400
Hey, do you think maybe and I'm
gonna go out on a limb here

141
00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:54,680
they went down there?

142
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,080
You mean you didn't check?

143
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,640
Are you kidding?
That's, like, the basement!

144
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:01,440
It's super spooky down there.

145
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,480
- Dear god.
- No, no, no, no, no, no!

146
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,400
Well, why else would we call
magic guys to help us look?

147
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:10,000
So, was it this accident
that made you all tiny, too...

148
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,320
like some kind of shrink bomb?

149
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,400
Boy, you really live
in a little dream world, don't you?

150
00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,800
You got the shrink bombs
and the men who talk to the ants.

151
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:21,640
No, no, see, I used to be
15 feet tall as a result

152
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,080
of another accident

153
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,720
which left me with a terminal
case of supergigantism.

154
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,760
Jonas and I worked together
to find a cure, and...

155
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,280
I guess we took it a little too far.

156
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:33,400
That's a pun.

157
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,400
Hello?
Mr. Venture?

158
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,000
- Mr. Samson?
- Triad emergency.

159
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,160
I said I was sorry.
The boys have very...

160
00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:41,960
active imaginations.

161
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,400
They're given to...
flights of fancy.

162
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,080
Yes, the little imps have
certainly skylarked us

163
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,000
into quite a mare's nest this time.

164
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,320
The skinny one thinkin'
he has a shot with his daughter

165
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:52,800
now, that's an active imagination.

166
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:54,280
Are you finished?

167
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,280
Then let us try to get
a psychic lock on them.

168
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,440
I will shine the light of Thelos!

169
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,400
I'll cast a spell of unveiling.

170
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,280
I'll, check for Blaculas.

171
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,880
Nope, no Blaculas.

172
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,040
Hey, you know
what you kind of remind me of?

173
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,000
That guy from the old Marvel comics.

174
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,680
- The Mariner?
- Think he was in the Avengers.

175
00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,760
- Hawkeye.
- Scientist dude, like you.

176
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:20,840
He was, like
the size of, an ant.

177
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,240
Look, your Marvel comics...
I read "Archie."

178
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:25,680
Wait...

179
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,520
- I'm getting something.
- Me too.

180
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,280
Join hands, Triad!

181
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,000
Our bond is our strength!

182
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:35,040
- Geez, Jefferson.
- You ever hear of Jergens?

183
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:36,720
I told you I'm not into rough trade.

184
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,320
The leather hilts on my Blacula
blades... they chap, man.

185
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,200
- Gentlemen!
- Right.

186
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:44,160
I see them.
They are safe

187
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,000
but I sense confusion...

188
00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,600
anxiety and something else.

189
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,880
A presence...

190
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,800
Triad, retreat!

191
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,440
What'd I tell ya?
Heebie-jeebies, right?

192
00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:06,920
That face!

193
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,960
Some unspeakable horror
has transpired below.

194
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,520
The air is thick
with psychic residue.

195
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,480
I can still smell the brimstone.

196
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,680
- No, I think that's sulphur.
- No, I think that's Mr. Jefferson.

197
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:21,320
Yeah, I'm gonna need...
Hey, you got any pants

198
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,400
like, extra pants?

199
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:26,120
I fear this is beyond
even our combined powers.

200
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:29,040
I must seek guidance
from the master!

201
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,360
- Wait here, please.
- come on!

202
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:32,800
We're supposed to be a team.

203
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,440
How come we never get to see
this all-knowing guy with you?

204
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:37,480
Yeah, tell the truth.
You're embarrassed of us, aren't you?

205
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,920
It's 'cause he's gay, isn't it?

206
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,680
No, it's because you've soiled yourself.

207
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,480
And he's gay.

208
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,280
Not diggin' this Charlie's Angels crap.

209
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,680
Well, they at least had an intercom.
What do we get?

210
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:50,600
Thank god.

211
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,240
Hello?
Hello, police?

212
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:54,960
Batman?

213
00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:57,440
What?
I'm not doing that.

214
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:00,600
- Hello?
- Hello?

215
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,080
- Thank god!
- You gotta get me out of here!

216
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,320
- Wait a minute. Where are you?
- I don't know.

217
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,200
Some kind of sewer or something.

218
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:08,640
Now come down here and get me!

219
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,280
I can't.
I'm trapped, Doc.

220
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,600
Look, we can talk about
your psychological problems later.

221
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,280
Take a Valium and get over yourself.

222
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:16,960
You need to get me out of here!

223
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,240
- I'm not alone, Brock.
- What? Who's with you?

224
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,200
I don't know, he just keeps
saying he's the firestarter.

225
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:24,680
Hold on.
He's coming back.

226
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,440
Sir, what...
Man, he's quick.

227
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:29,640
- Well, ask him which way is out.
- I tried.

228
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,480
He won't stand still for two seconds.

229
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,440
He's probably spaced up on
yellowjackets from the looks of him.

230
00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:37,200
I'm trapped in a sewer
with a confessed arsonist, Brock!

231
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,640
Help me!

232
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,120
Hey!

233
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,480
- Are you Rusty?
- Why, yes.

234
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,280
Yes, I am.
I see you're a fan.

235
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,520
- You don't look like Rusty.
- Rusty's right.

236
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,920
If you're Rusty, why have we
not seen you here before?

237
00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,440
Because...
because I don't live here.

238
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,600
I live up there.

239
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:06,080
But it is forbidden to go above.

240
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,280
Well, sure.
Let's make that rule right now.

241
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,480
The upstairs areas
are strictly off-limits to you people.

242
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,840
But just this once
if you show me how to get back

243
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,560
and you keep to the kitchen area

244
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:20,000
I'll allow you to come up
for a while, as a reward.

245
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:21,800
What do you think, Rusty?

246
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,600
We should let father decide.

247
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:29,560
So, the great and powerful Oz
told you to call tech support?

248
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:31,040
Not in so many words.

249
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:35,080
His directives are delivered
in a patois of symbols, allegory

250
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,440
the occasional abasement.

251
00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:40,040
My training enables me
to divine his purport.

252
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,240
And you divined
this dude's phone number?

253
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,080
No, that I found on a leaflet

254
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,200
he slipped beneath
my windshield wipers.

255
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,480
Yeah.
Anywhere in the compound.

256
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,200
Just let the ever-popular
Pete White's magic fingers...

257
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,560
do the walkin'
and if they're here, this'll find 'em.

258
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:58,200
This explains why pop finds me so fast
every time I run away

259
00:11:58,320 --> 00:11:59,720
to live in the abandoned zoo.

260
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,640
I didn't even know
we had a room like this.

261
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,080
Your loss. Rusty and I
hang out in here all the time.

262
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,000
You know what's fun?
When Brock has a lady friend over

263
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,240
you can switch it
to night vision and you can...

264
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,720
Never mind.
Hup! Speak of the devil!

265
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:13,720
- Hey, Brock!
- That's a tape, fellas.

266
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,640
He can't see you.
okay, he went in there

267
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,840
so I'll just pull up the video
from that room and...

268
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:21,720
I can't access those cameras.

269
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,440
Boys, look around
and see if you can find any cables

270
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,720
or anything unplugged
down there, will ya?

271
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,520
"No, I don't have the proportionate
strength of an ant."

272
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,720
- I'm just a guy, okay?
- All right, sorry.

273
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,160
I'm just makin' conversation.

274
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:37,680
Let me tell you
something about the whole...

275
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,200
"an ant can lift 100 times
its own weight" business.

276
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,680
It's a myth, okay?

277
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,560
How much do you think
an ant actually weighs?

278
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,000
Like nothing.

279
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,200
- What's nothing times a hundred?
- N-noth...

280
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:48,720
It's nothing!

281
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:52,240
"M.U.T.H.E.R.
is now online."

282
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:56,120
"M.U.T.H.E.R. wishes
to speak with Dr. Venture."

283
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,720
he named his hard
drive "M.U.T.H.E.R."

284
00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:00,840
- How cute is that?
- "Incorrect response."

285
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,680
"This is not a request."

286
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,600
"M.U.T.H.E.R. will only
communicate with Dr. Venture."

287
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,800
Get down!
Don't let her see you! Come on!

288
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,800
- What? What is that thing?
- M.U.T.H.E.R.

289
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,840
She's the supercomputer
Jonas built to run this place...

290
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,720
sentient, controlling,
superbitch, ruin-my-life computer!

291
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:20,960
"Incorrect response.
Where is Dr. Venture?"

292
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,400
You're sure he's dead, right?

293
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:23,840
- Positive.
- Shivers!

294
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:27,000
"Thought our busy little hackers
might be getting hungry"

295
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,440
- How is everything going?
- "Negative."

296
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,000
The house is mad at us
for losing pop.

297
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,880
"M.U.T.H.E.R.
demands to see Dr. Venture."

298
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,440
The face! The face!

299
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:37,800
"Initiating contact with
Ven-tech missile defence system."

300
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,280
"If you do not produce Dr. Venture"

301
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,480
"M.U.T.H.E.R.
will deploy full nuclear arsenal."

302
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,840
We're gone two minutes
to heat up some pizza rolls

303
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:47,560
and we come back to World War III?

304
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:49,680
- He started it!
- okay, okay, look.

305
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,120
It's not as bad as it sounds.

306
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,600
Well, it sounds pretty awful to me.

307
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,560
Come on.
Old phone lines?

308
00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:01,000
Antique, reel-to reel mainframe?
We got plenty of time here.

309
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,600
Now, everybody think.

310
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:09,280
"M.U.T.H.E.R. is awaiting connection
with Ven-tech defence system."

311
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:10,800
Who's doing that?

312
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:14,160
Probably Doc trying to "save us."

313
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,600
Typical Rusty.

314
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,920
Schmeckeling around
with daddy's equipment.

315
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,680
Would you...
okay, easy!

316
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,000
All right already.
Stop pushing.

317
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,040
- Is that the guy from the Buggles?
- Silence!

318
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,760
You are in the presence of the father!

319
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,240
Father, a non-Rusty
has entered our midst

320
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:35,400
and we fear he brings
contamination from above.

321
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,000
We humbly seek
your wisdom and guidance.

322
00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,200
Show us the way
to cleanse ourselves.

323
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:43,400
You were right to
bring him here, Rusty.

324
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,480
Now, let us see what
father has to say.

325
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,160
Always to wash behind one's ears!

326
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,400
Always to brush before bedtime!

327
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,960
"Hello, Rusty!"

328
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,760
- Hello, father.
- What?

329
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:02,000
"You're looking well.
Enjoying your new life belowground?"

330
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:05,600
- Yes, father.
- "Good!"

331
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:09,960
"Because today I'd like to talk to you
about personal hygiene!"

332
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,880
Good, good, good!

333
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,800
"As humanity's last hope"

334
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,880
"the burden of preserving
the American way of life"

335
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,680
"in a post-nuclear world is upon you."

336
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:24,520
"Not only controls flyaways
but it looks and smells"

337
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:27,520
"One or two
smooth, even strokes"

338
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:29,960
"each day will mitigate
the odours caused"

339
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,120
"by micro-organisms
which feed upon the sebum"

340
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:33,680
You have got be kidding me.

341
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,040
"Difficult for me to discuss"

342
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:42,560
"but as you get older
you may experience certain"

343
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,400
"urges..."

344
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,720
okay, show's over!

345
00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:49,320
I don't go rifling through
your old home movies, do I?

346
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,840
He... he tuned father out?

347
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,280
Yes, I killed your god.

348
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,640
Now I will take his place.

349
00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:01,000
And new dad says it's time
to get me the hell out of here!

350
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:05,320
Con-tamination!
Contamination!

351
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,200
okay, okay.
I think I've got something.

352
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,800
Maybe it's all
just a dream?

353
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:16,160
Orpheus, you're the one
who dragged us into this b.s.

354
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:17,840
So how do you want to go out...

355
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,360
sitting in a peep booth waiting
for some Atari bitch to tell you

356
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,920
"game over," or do you want
to finish what you started?

357
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,360
What do you mean?

358
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:27,520
I mean we already know
where they're at, so let's go get 'em.

359
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:30,000
Yes! Let's...

360
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,360
Yeah, yeah, player 3 buying in.

361
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:35,880
The order of the Triad, go!

362
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,520
"Awaiting connection with
Ven-tech system."

363
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,560
"Where is Dr. Venture?"

364
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:43,400
Should I be as freaked out as I am?

365
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:44,880
Why is it doing this?

366
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,560
You know, she and Jonas
had a bit of a falling out

367
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,600
over parenting issues.

368
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,160
Jonas thought the survivors
of a nuclear holocaust

369
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:54,560
might be too distraught to function

370
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,120
as a society underground, so
he wanted to pump small amounts

371
00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:00,560
of mood-enhancing drugs
into the ventilation system.

372
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,640
And M.U.T.H.E.R., this bitch
she didn't approve.

373
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,560
- What'd she do?
- You know...

374
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,240
when your parents catch you smoking

375
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:09,920
"and they make you smoke
the whole freakin' pack as punishment?"

376
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:13,320
"That's right.
A veritable subterranean utopia!"

377
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,800
"Why, we even
have our own concert hall"

378
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,600
"with a 90-piece classical orchestra."

379
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:23,040
Yes sir, ol' Jonas
thought of just about every...

380
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,640
Everything.

381
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,080
I'm gonna be sick.

382
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:40,000
Get off!

383
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,520
I can't...

384
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,280
Make it stop!

385
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:53,920
We've got to get out of here!

386
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,480
We've got to get the hell out of here!

387
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,680
- Blood everywhere!
- It's horrible!

388
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,400
M.U.T.H.E.R.'s
slipped us a mickey.

389
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:07,040
Rally, team Venture
before she traps us forever!

390
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,560
I should cast a spell of protection
over the vehicle before we embark.

391
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,080
No magic, you know what
happened to me last time.

392
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,200
I'll be damned if I'm walkin'
out of here in Aquaman underoos.

393
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,640
You sure you can drive this thing?

394
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,680
Yeah. I was a tank
commander in the marines.

395
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,800
I didn't know you served
in the armed forces.

396
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,480
Boy, the stuff you don't know
about me could fill one big-ass book.

397
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,800
Maybe next time you'll think
twice about leaving me behind

398
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,160
when you go visit your precious master.

399
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,440
No, I...

400
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,640
Did you know I also raise
carrier pigeons on my roof?

401
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:57,160
- No.
- "W.O.M.B. breach."

402
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,080
"System connection established."

403
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,520
"Initiate launch
full nuclear commitment."

404
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:04,960
Quickly, Mr. Samson!

405
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:10,120
We haven't a moment to...
did you sculpt him yourself?

406
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,680
Back, all of you, or so help me!

407
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,840
No! Give us back the word!

408
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,320
You want this?

409
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,080
I've got like a million
of them upstairs.

410
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:23,120
If you'd played nice,
I would have shared, but no!

411
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:39,920
Yes, father...
Make us clean again!

412
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,000
There's pop!
I see him!

413
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:47,800
We did it, Mr. White!
We saved pop!

414
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,560
- Go, team Venture!
- Wonderful.

415
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,720
That's one for us
5 billion for the apocalypse.

416
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,760
I can't help but think that Rusty
would've wanted it that way.

417
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:40,960
They'd been using it as a bathroom.

418
00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:43,160
If they sent all their
waste into the sky

419
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,160
"father" would
"make it clean."

420
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,440
- Lunatics.
- So, who were all those crazies?

421
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:50,800
Honorary gold members
of the Rusty Venture fan club

422
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,320
which explains why they had
the canny survival skills

423
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:54,760
to live down there for so long.

424
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,320
Yeah, one bright day back in 1978

425
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,640
my father thought the kids
from the local orphanage

426
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,360
needed cheering up, so he
took them on a little field trip

427
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:07,000
to see his brand-new
state-of-the-art fallout shelter.

428
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:09,000
And their only contact
with the outside world

429
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,160
for like 30 years was an
old scopitone of your dad?

430
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:15,640
Not entirely, somehow they were able
to get VH1 classics on that thing, too.

431
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,560
I don't know.
Cable wires got crossed somewhere.

432
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,880
- So, what about M.U.T.H.E.R.?
- Where is Dr. Venture?

433
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,320
Don't worry. I found him.
He's right here.

434
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,280
And, he wants to talk to you, too.

435
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:28,800
"hello, Rusty!"

436
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,400
"No, Dr. Venture, it's M.U.T.H.E.R."

437
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:35,160
"You're looking well.
Enjoying your new life belowground?"

438
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,600
"No, Dr. Venture.
We have much to talk about."

439
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:45,440
"Good. Because today I'd like to talk
to you about personal hygiene!"

440
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:46,880
Okay.

441
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,960
Subtitled by: Image Production House